Star Wars Episode 5: Shell Lodge Style

Star Wars Episode 5: Shell Lodge Style is the 17th Episode of the 3rd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. The Cutie Mark Crusaders decide to have a sleepover at Twilight's Castle with the Mane 6, and while Discord does spoil the party for a bit, Rainbow Dash tells them that the pegasi have to bring a storm for the night. So once the storm arrives, Scootaloo decides to tell another Star Wars story to the ponies (while Discord puts up a magical film reel of her story).

Cast

 * Princess Leia- Sandy
 * Han Solo- Rainbow Dash
 * Luke Skywalker- SpongeBob
 * Chewbacca- Pinkie Pie
 * C3PO- Djon
 * R2-D2- Creeper
 * Yoda- Shifu
 * Obi-Wan's Ghost- Lord Shen
 * Darth Vader- Cynder
 * Boba Fett- Alex
 * Emperor Palpatine- Chi-Fu
 * Lando Calrissian- Twilight Sparkle

Chapter 1- The Sleepover
Twilight's Castle
 * Rarity: You know, Twilight, it is rather nice of you to offer us to have a sleep over.
 * Twilight: Oh, of course.
 * Applebloom: Yeah, especially with us!
 * Pinkie: THIS'LL BE FUN!! WE CAN STAY UP LATE, WATCH SCARY MOVIES, TELL GREAT STORIES, PLAY GAMES, AND DO WHATEVER THE HECK WE WANT!! WOOOO-HOOOO!!!
 * Rainbow Dash: Well, yeah...I think it's best that we stayed here until morning because...well...it's supposed to be a big thunderstorm tonight.
 * Fluttershy:...Th-th-th-th-thunderstorm?!?
 * Applejack: Oh, don't fret, sugar-cube. We'll keep you comfortable. I mean, it ain't like one of us is scared of the thunder or any--(A thunderclap was heard as Applejack, Rarity, Spike, the Crusaders, and Fluttershy jumped in surprise and hid in random areas)
 * Rainbow Dash:...(Laughs) You were saying, AJ?
 * Applejack: Oh, shut up, Rainbow. You're at least used to fear since that haunted house.
 * Rainbow Dash: You'd better believe it. Nothing scares me. (Discord teleports behind her dressed as a vampire) No siree, not even a mouse.
 * Discord: BOOOOOOO!! (Rainbow Dash screams as she hid under a table) HAH! PRICELESS!! (Laughs)
 * Everyone: DISCORD!!
 * Discord: What? I can't join in a little slumber party?
 * Fluttershy: Well, at least you're giving me some comfort right now.
 * Scootaloo: Yeah. We are still a little scared of thunder ourselves. But the worst part of thunderstorms is when the power--(The power goes out)...goes off.
 * Twilight: "Wait, there's electrical wiring in this place? SINCE WHEN!?"
 * Pinkie: "The Communicater also works like a power generator. Kolwalski added that in so it can actselly work. How else did we managed to get a TV to work here to play that silly movie Patrick had?"
 * Twilight: "Wow.... The irony of that plan, is it not?"
 * Fluttershy: EEEEEEKKKKKK!! I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!!!
 * Twilight: You're pretty much afraid of everything. Dragons, formerly Circues, and Stage-Fright as your most worse.
 * Discord: Not to worry, allow me to shed a little light on the subject. (Summons a lantern) Poof! (He puts it in the middle of the castle map, which was not active, as the group circled around)
 * Rarity: Well... What do we do now?
 * Pinkie: OOH, OOH, OOH, CAN WE TELL STORIES UNTIL THE POWER COMES BACK ON?!?
 * Sweetie Belle: YEAH! Scoo, remember when you told us the story of Star Wars? Maybe you can tell us another one.
 * Discord: Oh, Star Wars? I never got to watch that movie since I was encased in stone when it came out.
 * Scootaloo: Well, allow me to introduce you. (Clears throat) A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away--
 * Discord: (Makes the table glow as the words were seen)...Go on.
 * Scootaloo:...Oookay...well...

Chapter 2- Hoth and Cold
'''Long long ago, in a galaxy far away that's somehow futuristic... Seriously, where DID that come from? How's something so long ago and yet in the future? That makes as much sense as the combined bad plots of Garbage Pail Kids and Sonic '06, I mean who writes this-'''

Intro (Star Wars Theme Song)

"It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. But you know this story. Besides, I bet you're wondering how the story between Vader and his kiddies are in this version, what with there being only one guy and with most of the cast being female. Well, it's a complicated story that we'd rather not take up the rest of this scroll explaining it to you. It's been a couple of years since the Shell Lodgers had this story to themselves, and loads have changed, and not just the story. And don't worry, the cast won't all be female, but there will be a fair amount of males to make up for it. Now let's see how our producers can make this parody as awesome as other parodies."

"P.S.: If you can read this, DON'T STARE TO CLOSE TO THE SCREEN, YOU'LL MELT YOUR EYES, YA  JACKASS MORON!?"

Space. Meanwhile... Rebel Base. Flashback. Present Icy Cave Outside Cave Later... Later... Later, again. Space Hoth Space Space.
 * ???: "Space. The Final Fronteer. (A Star Trek Ship is seen) Myself and members of the Starship Enterprize travel across the galaxies and planets to-"
 * A Lazor blows it up!
 * It was reveiled to have came from the Star Destroyers.
 * A voice: "TAKE THAT, YA STUPID TREKKIES?!"
 * Another voice: YEAH, WE'RE THE EMPIRE MOTHERF*****!! (The Star Destroyer released several small pods that headed to a snow planet, and crashed in the middle of the snowy wasteland. Two of them, which were played by none other than Scratch and Grounder, were seen. While Scratch landed in the snow, Grounder landed on a rock)
 * Scratch Drone: HEY, MORON, YA' MISSED! HA-HA-HAAAA!
 * Grounder Drone: Oh, shut up, antenna-dick! Let's just get the job done...and remind me to see a droid doctor after this. (They left)
 * Luke (SpongeBob): (A familiar square figure was see riding on a tauntaun as it made noises)
 * Luke stop and took out a binoclieers and scouted the area.
 * Luke saw this.
 * Luke: ".... Wow. Luigi is espeically harsh this time around."
 * Luke pulls out a radio.
 * Luke: "Han, this is Luke."
 * A voice: "SKEE, Sorry, Han Solo isn't here, SKEE, can you call her by her PROPER name?"
 * Luke: "Han, we've been over this, we-"
 * The Voice: "SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"
 * Luke: (Sighs) Dashing Wonderbolt, do you copy?
 * Han: Dashing Wonderbolt here, go ahead.
 * Luke: You know, Han, with that code name, people will think you're an idiot.
 * Han: Oh, please, I told it to everyone, and I didn't see THEM laughing. Anyway, what is it you wanted?
 * Luke: I just saw Luigi being a jerk to his brother, but nothing else suspicious...except...(He sees another drone crashing)...except a crashed object coming out of the sky. That wasn't you, was it?
 * Han: No way, dude, I'd NEVER be able to fly properly in this intense weather. I'd be blown around and torn apart for the tauntauns to gnaw on.
 * Luke: Well, then, I guess I should check it out.
 * Han: Well, be careful, we've detected a few hostile lifeforms in your area.
 * Luke: Oh, please, I'm armed with a glowing stick that can hurt when you touch the blade, what could possibly go wrong- AAHHH!! (A smaller whiter Insectasaurus roared as it knocked Luke out and dragged him away)...
 * Han: "HE DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT COULD GO WRONG?! That is, the most karma provoking words, anyone could make!? GOOD GOD, HE'S AN IDIOT?!"
 * Chewbacca (Pinkie): "Well what did you expect? He did sort've became a glorly hog when he beaten the empire awhile back. And he did sort've provoked the empire to come after us again after the movie he released in Genovis studios had Vynder WAY too basturdised as a moron."
 * Luke was being phrasied for the movie he made.
 * Luke: "Thank you, thank you. I would like to thank the empire for turning out to be the dumbest bunch of people I've met. I mean seriously, how can a dragon NOT handle A SPONGE?!"
 * Luke and the people started to laugh!
 * Han: "Uh, Luke? You sure releasing a movie from Genovis Studios and making Vynder looking like a complete idiot was a good idea? Are you SURE it's not gonna provoke them into igniting a new war with us within the war we currently have?"
 * Luke: "Pfft! I'm sure Vyndy butt doesn't mind!"
 * Vynder: (Watching this)...GRRRR!!! I'D STRANGLE HIM RIGHT NOW IF THIS WASN'T JUST BEING RECORDED!! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT, SKYWALKER!!
 * Han: What would doing something like that accomplish, anyway?
 * Chewbacca: Well, he was just having too much sugar at that time.
 * Han: AND YOU INDULGED HIM IN IT?!?
 * Chewbacca: What can I say? I like a good laugh.
 * Han: Well, I'd better go out and find him before we both head out and deal with that debt we owe to Jabba. If I don't have that money soon, he's gonna have me in carbonite for a fancy decoration or something.
 * Chewbacca: HA! He's probably just kill you.
 * Han: Yeah, anyway, I'd better get moving. (Gets on a tauntaun and heads out)
 * Luke: (He is seen hanging from the top on ice as he wakes up)...Uhhgh, why did I think that saying 'what could possibly go wrong' was a good idea? (Searches for his lightsaber) Where my lightsaber? WHERE IS IT?!?...Oh, there it is. (Sees it in the snow, and tries to reach it) Damn these stubby arms!...(He suddenly tries using the Force, but as he tries, he ends up farting in the process)...Oh, for the love of Lucas! (Stretches his arm out and grabs the lightsaber, and cuts the ice and frees himself) Whew! That was too easy. (A roar was heard as the Wampa Insectasaurus appeared) YAAAHHH!! (He cuts the arm off of Wampa Insectasaurus as he runs off)
 * Luke: And that was too easier! Now I just find my way back to base, and...WHERE THE F*** AM I GOING?!?
 * Echo: GOING, GOING, going, going...
 * Luke:...(Sighs) I'm froze!...Well, at least I can do something while I search my way through this...I sure hope there's a Krusty Krab somewhere around here, I like their pizza.
 * Luke: The Krusty Krab Pizza, is the pizza, absolut-iv-aly! (Later) Ppp-pppp-ppp-pppppp pizza, pppp-ppp-pppp-ppp-ppppp pizza, pp-ppp-ppp-da-da (Later) Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do pizza...(His rear splits into two) (Later) KRUSTY KRAAA-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-PIZZA, IS THE PIZZA, YEAH, FOR YOU AND...MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Later, he appears exhausted)...Pizza...uhhgh...errgh...Pizza...uughh...eerrggh...(Later, he is seen laying on the snow frozen)
 * ???: Luke...Luke?...Please don't be dead, you're one of the main characters!
 * Luke:...Shen? (Obi-Wan's (Lord Shen) ghost appeared)
 * Obi-Wan: Oh, good, for a minute there, I thought you were stoned...or rather, iced in another term.
 * Luke: Sheeen...
 * Obi-Wan: Luke, you must go--
 * Luke: Sheeen...
 * Obi-Wan:...you must go--
 * Luke: Sheeeennn...
 * Obi-Wan: Uh, Luke, you need to listen, you need to go to the Da--
 * Luke: Sheeen...
 * Obi-Wan: SHUT UP!! GO TO THE DAGOBAH SYSTEM AND LOOK FOR YODA!! HE'LL TEACH YOU THE WAYS OF THE FORCE!! GEEZ, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOU MOAN LIKE A--
 * Luke: Sheeeennnn...
 * Obi-Wan: Okay, you're lost! Freeze to death, see if I care! (Disappears)...(Reappears again) Okay, I didn't really mean that, just...just go to the Dagobah System! (Disappears, and right where he was, Han appeared on her tauntaun)
 * Han: LUKE, THERE YOU ARE!! I thought you would be buried in the snow, and you'd be more lost to me than my old pet turtle! Man, was that a difficult time.
 * Luke: Yoda...Dagobah System...Yoda...Han...Howard Stern...Morbid Krabs!
 * Han: Hmm, it looks like you'll need some warmth, kid. And crap, did I forget to bring my extra-warm blanket. (Looks at her tauntaun, and snaps it's neck as it fell to the ground, and then she tried to pick up the lightsaber)...Uh-oh, no fingers....(Sighs) You can't be serious...
 * Han: (Scratch marks appeared on her face from the lightsaber) Hate having no opposable thumbs. Alright, Luke, this may smell bad, but it'll keep you warm until morning...that's if you don't suffocate.
 * Luke: Haaaannn... (Cradles up in the gooey wound)
 * Han:...(Hurls in the snow)...Urrghh...and I thought they smelled bad...on the outside! (Takes deep breaths)
 * Spongebob was inside a tank filled with blue goo.
 * Han: ".... Well, I ended up killing a member of an endangered spieces since we don't see alot of these things outside mine and yours which seemed to have disappeared, but at least your alive."
 * Leia (Sandy): (She appears) Hey, uh, Han, Chewie told me you were leaving after you rescued Luke. I thought you said you were going to stay.
 * Han: Well, I can't. You know that Jabba is giving me a pain in the flank. I should leave right now if you don't wanna be caught in his crossfire, princess.
 * Leia: But you can't leave now! You're a grand leader, and you've gotten us this far with battling the Empire. We need you.
 * Han: Oh, I'm sure those guys can do great without me. But if it'll make you happy, I can come back as soon as my debt problem is solved.
 * Leia: Oh, please, Jabba is a real money-hogging douche, anyway. What has that guy ever done for you?
 * Han: Nothing important, but you know he could make bitches like you dress up in bikinis and dance for them if he wanted. Something that I'm sure all his alien rapist friends will enjoy.
 * Leia: WHY YOU STUCK UP, HALF-WITTED, SCRUFFY-LOOKING, NERF-HURTER!!!
 * Han: Hey I am not saying it to be intentionally offencive, I'm just saying that Jubba has a bad habit of doing it to almost every girl he meets! I'm lucky I was an exception cause the fat tub of alien lard isn't a brony!
 * Leia: You know what? Fine! Leave! Go get yourself killed if that's what you want. See if I care! Just don't let our boring dreams of freedom hit you in the butt on the way out. (Leaves)
 * Han: OKAY, I WILL!! (Sighs) Well, I can't leave Luke sitting in this bacta tank all day. I need to watch over him until he recovers. (Sighs)
 * Vynder: (Star Destroyers appeared flying across space as the Imperial March music was heard, and Vynder used her tail lightsaber to crush a mailbox on a small meteor, and rolled up the window)...Good thing these windows have fields that prevent air from coming out. That makes smashing mailboxes much more fun. (Walks down the hall as Shocktroopers and Imperial Troopers panicked at the sight of him)...Alright, you two, what's the status on locating those disgusting Rebels?
 * Imperial #1 (Junjie): "Well, so far, we mostly have pictures of snow."
 * Imperial #2 (Nuka (Anthropomorphic)): "Well, that, and this weird picture of a stack of plates placed next to each of eachother." (Shows a picture of a generator.)
 * Vynder: ".... YOU IDIOT, THAT'S A REBEL GENERATOR!?"
 * Imperial 2: ".... But why does it look like a stack of plates?"
 * Vynder: You seriously haven't heard of a DSS-02 shield generator? Sometimes designs are random. The point being that the Rebels are hiding out on Hoth!
 * Imperial #1: There are so many uncharted settlements, My Lord! It could be a mistake.
 * Vynder: I do not want any doubts, Admiral Ozzel! You have been a bit of trouble lately, so don't push it! Anyway, Piett, prepare the ships for battle! We're setting our course for the Hoth System!
 * Imperial #2 (Piett): Yes, My Lord! It will be done!
 * Chewbacca: (She and Han were preparing the rainbow-streaked Millennium Falcon to leave) Take care of yourself, Luke.
 * Luke: You two, Chewie. I hope you two can live up to the promise you made to Leia about coming back as soon as you finish your little escapade.
 * Chewbacca: Oh, we promise! We're the best ones to keep a promise, isn't that right, Han?
 * Han: Oh, of course. Blowing up that flying ball of planetary death was invigorating. But I know for sure that Jabba would make us all intended targets if you tried to defend me from him.
 * Luke: Well, thanks for saving my life.
 * Han: Hey, don't mention it.
 * Luke: (Leaves)
 * Chewbacca: What a nice sponge.
 * Han: Yeah. Haven't had this much excitement with him for quite a while since we first met him.
 * Imperial #3 (Hades): (The Imperial fleet, along with the larger Executor ship were facing the planet. The Imperial approached Vynder as she was meditating in a small pod) Lord Vynder, we've entered the Hoth System, but the rebels have put up an energy shield blocking our entry. What're we gonna do now, buddy?
 * Vynder: HMMPH! I should've known not to trust Admiral Ozzel with this fleet. He brought us out of lightspeed too quickly.
 * Imperial #3: (Chuckles) Yeah, I had that problem with a chick the other night.
 * Vynder: Okay, gross, I didn't need to know that. Just get ready for the attack. We'll have to do a full frontal assault on the base. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some business to take care of. (Activates a holographic screen)
 * Imperial #1 (Ozzel): Well, Lord Vynder, we're out of lightspeed, and--(Lord Vynder chokes him with the Force) AAHHKK!! AAHHHKKK!!
 * Vynder: You have failed me for the last time, Ozzel! Your sheer incompetence have caused the Rebels to notice us! We were supposed to do this stealthily!
 * Ozzel: AHHKK...GIVE ME ANOTHER CHA--AAHHKKK!!
 * Vynder: There are no more chances for you, fool! (Kills Ozzel).
 * Imperial 3: "Yowza."
 * Vynder brings up Imperial 2.
 * Vynder: Alright, Captain Piett, Ozzel has been, uncerimoaniously retired. It's up to you now. Make ready to land our troops beyond the energy field, then deploy the fleet so that nothing leaves the system. You're in charge now, ADMIRAL Piett!
 * Imperial #2 (Piett): OH, BOY, A PROMOTION!!! I KNEW YOU WOULD CHOOSE ME FOR SOMETHING FOR ONCE!! (Laughs)
 * Vynder: Well, do not think that I will accept stupidity from you, Piett! We Imperials do not have time for stupidity! You have your orders, now carry them out!
 * Piett: Yes, My Lord! I am on it!
 * The Millendium Falcon entered space.
 * Chewbacca: "Hey, Han? Do the rebels usually fly ships that look like giant cake slicers?"
 * Han: NO, THOSE ARE IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYERS, YOU IDIOT!! (Pinkie gives her a sad face)...Okay, sorry, I--(The ships blasted at them) AW, CRAP!!!
 * Chewbacca: We can't avoid them, they've got us in their sights!
 * Han: (Shrugs) So much for getting Jabba off my flank! Looks like we need to get back to this frozen hunk of a planet. (Turns around and goes back to Hoth)

Chapter 3- Imperial Invasion
Hoth Base Space Hoth Base Inside AT-AT Hoth Battlefield Hoth Base Hoth Battlefield Hoth Base Hangar Meanwhile.
 * A rebel soldier: "Uh, Princess, this may seem odd, but it appears that Han Solo is making a u-turn back to us."
 * Leia: "Ha, so she desided that we are impourent to her after all!"
 * Rebel Soldier: "Actselly, it was most likely because of the blockade of imperial ships. Honestly Princess, aren't you over reacting to this abit? She didn't meant to offend you about the Jubba comment, she was just talking about a personal exspearience."
 * Leia: Well, I deal with Han in due time. Right now, we have that Imperial fleet to worry about. So we're evacuating into outer space, with literally infinite directions in which to flee. The Imperials will possibly be ready to destroy our shield generators so that the fleet can enter safely and kill us all. Estimated touchdown is about an hour. So let's get moving! (They all get ready and jump into some Snowspeeders)
 * Luke: (Jumps into a Snowspeeder) Alright, it's time for action! (The Snowspeeders fly off)
 * Vynder: (Sees a few Rebel ships flying into their area) Hmm, looks like Rebel Ships are entering this sector! BRING THEM DOWN!! (The ships enter hyperspeed before they could fire)...DAMMIT!! WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE WEAPON SYSTEMS?!?
 * Imperial #4: (Appears with goofy eyes) Sorry, my lord, I'm trying my best!
 * Vynder:...Who made that man a gunner?
 * Imperial #5: I did, my lord! (Another imperial with goofy eyes appeared) He's my cousin!
 * Vynder:...Uh, who is he?
 * Imperial #3: He's an asshole, man!
 * Vynder: I know that, but what is his name?
 * Imperial #3: That is his name, Asshole, mam, Major Asshole.
 * Vynder: And the other guy?
 * Imperial #3: He's an Asshole, too, mam, Gunner First Class Damian Asshole.
 * Vynder:...HOW MANY ASSHOLES ARE IN THIS FLEET?!? (Everyone in the room raised their hands)...I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!...No wonder Ozzel was a total idiot...and Piett!
 * Imperial #3: Oh, don't worry, sir, they are trained professionals. They just have a few sight problems, that's all. (Vynder sighs)
 * Rebels formed a huge group around the area.
 * Mantis and Monkey were among the front row of Rebel soldiers.
 * Mantis: ".... So.... We're offitcally gonna be attacked by the empire, eh?"
 * Monkey: "Oh, I'm sure it won't be so bad. As long as they don't have like, I don't know, giant robot camels or anything."
 * Mantis: (Looks into some binoculars and sees some AT-ATs)...Ah, look, giant robot camels. Besides, they're called AT-ATs.
 * Monkey: Uh...what does that stand for?
 * Mantis: All Terrain Armored Transport. And AT-STs are All Terrain Scout Transport. Seriously, don't you study about these Imperial weapons when fighting them?
 * Monkey: Well, no, but I still study other things. We--(Suddenly, heave lasers streak across them)
 * Monkey/Mantis: HOLY S***!!!
 * Mantis: ATTACK!! (The Rebels took cover and attacked)
 * Monkey: Wow, these lasers are STRONG!! (An AT-AT shoots down a turret tower)
 * Mantis: AAAHHH, THIS STUFF IS TOO LOUD FOR MY SMALL EARS--(He gets blasted into pieces)
 * Monkey: Aw, crap! (Snowspeeders appeared in the battlefield)
 * Luke: Echo Station 5-7, we're on our way!
 * Voice: Great! We'll see you in--(A blast was heard)
 * Luke:...Uh...Echo Station 5-8, we're on our way.
 * Voice: Hurry, I think they're gonna--(Another blast was heard)
 * Luke:...Uh...is ANY Echo Stations still standing?
 * 3 Voices: WE ARE!
 * Luke: Then we'll split up and get you out of there!
 * Voice: Hurry! And just take it nice and easy when you're flying that thing.
 * Luke: No problemo! Nice and EASYYYYYYY!!! (Full throttles the Snowspeeder towards the AT-ATs) HAHAHAAA!!
 * Back Driver: SERIOUSLY, LUKE, WHY ARE YOU SO RETARDED WHEN PILOTING?!? HOW IS IT THAT AN X-WING IS THE ONLY VEHICLE YOU KNOW HOW TO FLY, AND NOTHING ELSE?!?
 * Luke: I wouldn't expect YOU to understand. The X-Wing's the only ship I've been comfortable with since I got off of Tatooine!
 * Back Driver: Oh, PLEASE, anyone can pilot these things!
 * Luke: Just shut up, we're in a war! (They continue battling the AT-ATs, and Luke's Snowspeeder was able to use it's tow cable and spin it around one of the AT-AT's legs, and it detached the cable as the AT-AT fell to the ground)...(Scoffs, and takes a picture of the AT-AT's rear with his iPhone)...and...send!...Wow, it became a meme on Facebook already?
 * Back Driver: LUKE, FOCUS ON FLYING!!
 * Luke: Sorry. (He blasts the fallen AT-AT to pieces with the help of other Snowspeeders) KABOOM!!
 * Imperial #3: Yes, Lord Vynder, the shield will be down in moments. You may begin your landing.
 * Vynder: Excellent! We shall prepare for our descent. As for me, I shall find that Skywalker d*** and make him pay for humiliating me publicly!
 * Imperial #3:...Oooookay, I won't question that. Good luck out there.
 * The AT-ATs were chaseing the rebels.
 * Rebel: "THIS ISN'T FAIR!? WHY DO THE BAD GUYS GET THE COOL WEAPONS!?"
 * Rebel #2: Because they have control of the Integalactic Banking Clan, so they have all the money they want to building these things. The rest of us have to deal with our own money supply.
 * Rebel #1: (Sighs) Why don't WE have that stuff? Why does the Empire have to have ALL the good stuff?
 * Rebel #2: Uh, that's why we're fighting them, genius! They make things harder for us to free the galaxy from their evil.
 * Rebel #1: Oh, I'm so mad, I could just smack the Emperor in the jaw for doing all this bulls***!
 * Rebel #2: LOOK OUT!! (They duck as the AT-ATs blast down the shield generator)
 * Rebel #1: CRAP!! WHY DO THEY GET TO WIN AGAINST US?!?
 * Rebel #2: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!? WHY MUST YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING?!? SHEESH!! LIFE WASN'T MEANT TO BE EASY, YOU KNOW!!
 * Luke: (He continues flying in the Snowspeeder towards an AT-AT, but then it is able to shoot him down) OH, NO! I'M HIT!! I'M HIT!!
 * Back Driver: THE EJECTOR SEATS!!
 * Luke: Aye-aye, sir! (Does some work on the seats) There we go, I fixed the problem. Someone could get hurt being launched out of this thing.
 * Back Driver:...Why do I even bother! (The Snowspeeder crashes on the ground, and the Back Driver is killed in the process)
 * Luke:...(Jumps out of the Snowspeeder before an AT-AT steps on it) WHOA!! That was a close one!
 * Han: (Flies quickly down the hall dodging people)
 * Rebel #1: HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, SPEEDY GONZALES!!
 * Han: (Appears in front of Leia, C3P0 (Djon), R2-D2 (Creeper), and General Rieekan (Shining Armor)) Alright, I'm here, did I miss anything.
 * Rieekan: Well, you did make it in time. But I suppose you lead the Imperial fleet directly to our location.
 * Han:...Uh...Oops. (A tremor was heard)
 * Voice: IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED THE BASE!! IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED--(A thump and a microphone whoosh was heard) Sorry, I dropped the...thing, IMPERIAL TROOPS HAVE ENTERED THE BASE!!
 * Leia: "Nice one, moron!"
 * Han: "Hey at least I came back! The least I can do to make up for it is to get ya out of this refrigerator!?"
 * Leia: Well, you'd better. If you get us captured after all this, I am going to strangle you!
 * Han: I dare you to try it, buck-tooth! (They leave at the same moment that Vynder appears)
 * Vynder: I want the princess captured immediately. They must not leave this area!
 * Shocktrooper #1: Yes, sir! (Vynder suddenly force chokes the Shooktrooper)
 * Vynder: "I'M A FEMALE, JACKASS!?"
 * Shocktrooper #1: Sorry, your grace...AHHKK...it's hard to determine your gender with that mask on...AHHKK!!
 * Luke: (He ran towards an AT-AT, and used a grappling hook to get up onto the bottom of it, uses his lightsaber to cut a hole inside, and then got out a grenade, and prepared to throw it. When he looked inside, he saw someone using a toilet)
 * Guy: (Screams like a girl)
 * Luke: Oh, I am so sorry, sir, I... Aw, why am I apologizing, you're with the Empire. (Throws the grenade, and gets down from the AT-AT as it exploded)
 * The AT-AT begins to fall on itself.
 * Luke leaped off dramaticly slow-mo screaming!
 * Luke: (Falls into the snow) PHUUMMPPH!!... GUD THING THIPPHH PHHNOW ACPPHHS LIKE A PILLOW!
 * Leia: (C-3P0 screams like a girl as the group enters the Millennium Falcon) I hope this bucket of bolts gets us across that fleet. There must be about 16 Star Destroyers the size of asteroids out there!
 * Chewbacca: Oh, of course we can get past them. We've been through many other adventures that are only told of on Wookieepedia and in books, so I'm pretty sure we can outmaneuver the laser-fire of several Star Destroyers.
 * Han: Damn right! Besides, anywhere is better than this frozen hunk of rock. Alright, Chewie, punch it!
 * Chewbacca: Okey-dokey-lokey! (They blast off in the Falcon as Vynder and some Shocktroopers arrived)
 * Vynder:...CURSES!! If only I didn't slowed myself down choking an idiot!
 * Luke reaches another part of the base that had the X-Wing in it.
 * R2-D2: "About time, ya bloodly twat! We need to get out of here, there's imperials everywhere! They'll litterally be the death of us!"
 * Luke: Look, I had to walk all the way back here from where I took out that AT-AT, and basically had to do it with one guy taking a s***, so don't complain! Let's just get a move on. (They get into the X-Wing, and blast off into a certain direction in space)
 * R2-D2: Uh, this isn't the way to the rendezvous point.
 * Luke: We're not meeting up with the others. We're going to the Dagobah System.
 * R2-D2: Oh what for? That planet is a sack of slime! Nobody can live there without being stuck in tar or mud, or getting eaten by vicious predatory--
 * Luke: Look, we'll be back with the others before you know it, okay? I'll explain why we're going on the way. (They fly off)

Chapter 4- Space Chase
Another Area in Space
 * Han: (The Millennium Falcon was seen being chased by Star Destroyers and TIE Fighters that were blasting at them, and one of them put a dent on the ship) AW, COME ON, THEY JUST DENTED MY SHIP AGAIN!!
 * Leia: "I think our ACTUAL lives are ABIT MORE IMPOURENT THEN YOUR SHIP, HAN?!"
 * Han: "Hey trust me, my valuement to this ship is more then JUST because it's exspensive to repair! I'll explain when we're NOT about to get killed by by an empire of trained killers!" (He pilots the Falcon across the streaks of laser fire and they see two more Star Destroyers in front of them) Aw, crap, there's two more of them dead ahead!
 * C3PO: WHAT'LL WE DO?!?
 * Han: It's okay, I think I can outmaneuver them! (She pilots the ship downwards as the 3 Star Destroyers go past each other, and the TIE Fighters continue chasing them) BLAST, these guys don't know how to quit!
 * Chewbacca: Well, of course they don't, silly, they're supposed to eliminate any threat to them no matter what the risk.
 * Han: I didn't need a word from you, Chewie! Don't worry, I have a plan to avoid them. (They blast right toward an asteroid field and enter)
 * Leia: ARE YOU INSANE?!? WE AIN'T ACTUALLY GONNA GO INTO AN ASTEROID FIELD, ARE WE?!?
 * Han: Well, it's the best chance we got of keeping these things from bugging us.
 * C-3PO: YOU'RE JOKING!! The possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 123 million to one!
 * Han: NEVER tell me the odds! I DEFY odds! I eat odds for breakfast!
 * Chewbacca: Really? Do they taste like ice cream?
 * Han: (Sighs) Why do I even bother? (They pilot across the asteroid field as they outmaneuver the TIE fighters)
 * Majora's Moon is seen in the asteriod field.
 * Han: "Wow, we're REALLY ranking up on the Nintendo camios here." (They continue flying across the asteroid field as TIE Fighters were getting picked off by the asteroids)
 * Leia: WE'RE GONNA GET PULVERIZED OUT HERE!!
 * Han: Hey, we're like the main characters in this movie, I'm sure we'll be fine. (They suddenly reach a large asteroid as they are able to avoid the last of the TIE Fighters)
 * Chewbacca:...Wow...I actually thought we wouldn't make it.
 * Han: Really?
 * Chewbacca:... I mean, yes, I knew we'd make it.
 * Han: Great. Now let's find somewhere to land and fix up the damages. Oh, there's a good spot. (They find a deep crater with a handicap tag on it)
 * C-3PO: Hey, what're you doing, you can't park there! (Han puts up a handicap card on the back-view mirror)
 * Leia: You ain't handicapped!
 * Han: I get dizzy when flying real easily. When I do, I usually get sick for days.
 * C-3PO: I'm-I'm just going to state up-front that I'm not comfortable with this. (They pilot into the crater)
 * Leia:... I hope you know what you're doing.
 * Han: Oh, trust me, toots, I know a safe place when I see it. I'm sure we'll be fine. (They enter a small place with stalactite-like structures on the top and bottom of the cave, only for a soft moan to be heard)

Chapter 5- Dagobah System
Dagobah Atmosphere Swamp of Dagobah. Later... Meanwhile... Executor Dagobah (This music plays during the montage)
 * The X-Wing flies around the skies of the Dagobah system.
 * Bugs hit R2-D2.
 * R2-D2: "BLAGH!? BUGS EVERYWHERE!? BLOODLY HELL?!"
 * Luke: "YOW, THAT'S ALOT OF BUGS?!"
 * The X-Wing crashed into the waters of the Swamp!
 * Luke came out.
 * Luke: ".... Wow, Dagobah is a mess. Can you imagine anyone living here?"
 * Suddenly, the Trash creature (Kaa) from Star Wars Episode 4: Shell Lodge Style rose up again.
 * Trash Creature: "Oh darn it all, another wrong turn at Albaquirky!"
 * The Trash Creaure went back in!
 * Luke: "Ok, R2. Let's head on out."
 * R2-D2: Okay, then. If this Yoda guy is so important to you, then I won't question it. Just...whoa...WHOOOAAHHH--(Falls into the water)
 * Luke: R2!! (R2 pokes out his aquatic peeker eye)
 * R2-D2: (Semi-gurgling) I'm okay!
 * Luke:...You need to be a lot more careful.
 * R2-D2: (Semi-gurgling) Oh, come on, you'd be in a bit of a pickle if YOU were to fall in here. You're a sea sponge, and you're not meant to handle freshwater! I...uh...what is that? (Luke sees a large object in the water) AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
 * Luke: R2!!! (Takes out his blaster, but R2-D2 leaps out)
 * R2-D2: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!! (Crashes into a tree and slides down into the mud where Luke picks him up) Owch!
 * Luke: R2, are you okay?
 * R2-D2: I think so. Bloody hell, what else do you think is in this swamp? (A familiar object appears from the water)
 * Voice: MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF DOOM...
 * Luke: NOT ALLOWED!!
 * Voice: (As the object quickly goes back in the water) Okay!
 * R2-D2: (They wander across the swamp) OH, MAN, WE'RE GONNA DIE IN THIS PLACE!!
 * Luke: Oh, no, we won't! As long as we don't go near any deep waters, I think we're okay.
 * R2-D2: But where are we gonna find some shelter? Our X-Wing is stuck in the swamp, and noody even knows where we are! Are you sure you're looking on the right planet?
 * Luke: Oh, I'm sure. Shen would never lie to me. Yoda is somewhere around here. Don't know what he looks like though, but I have heard stories about him being the master of the Jedi Council of old. Jedi are nearly extinct now.
 * R2-D2: Yeah, no kidding. With Shen dead, I'm sure only you and this Yoda character are the last of these Jedi.
 * Luke: Hey, there's an old hut over there! (They see a hut with Chinese carvings on it, and Chinese-like architecture)
 * R2-D2: Wow...what a nice place. I never thought someone could live on this mudball.
 * ???: Nobody else lives here. (A familiar figure appears, and Yoda (Shifu) appears) This planet is too inhospitable for beings to live here.
 * R2-D2: YIKES, A GOBLIN!!!
 * Yoda: What? I am NOT a goblin, I'm a...uh...actually, the Star Wars saga never told the actual name of my species. By the way, Luke, I am the one you are looking for. I am Yoda.
 * Luke: YOU'RE Yoda? Huh...I thought you'd be taller. Anyway, will you teach me the ways of the Force?
 * Yoda: "Ok, but I am NOT gonna do that weird talking thing. I mean, if Chewbacca is not stick to the always growling thing, I'm not gonna do the weird talk thing."
 * Luke: "Oh.... Wait, how do you know about her?"
 * Yoda: "Two things: My mistical connections to the force..... And that this swamp is FILLED with Star Wars episode 4 mercentdise."
 * Yoda points to loads of Episode 4 mercentdise sitting in a giant pile.
 * Luke: "..... Huh. So that's what happens to mercentdise that didn't get sold."
 * Yoda: "Yep... (Sigh), They end up here. It's wasteful to be honest. But at least it's not as bad as the constint video game references."
 * Kriby appeared!
 * Kirby: "KIRBY!"
 * Crash Bandicroot ran through, ya-hooing!
 * DK ran through!
 * Banjo was seen being chased by Golden Frogs!
 * Yoda: "..... Ya see what I'm saying?"
 * Luke: "Wow. And you live here?"
 * Yoda: "Well, originally I lived in a fantastic condo in Utapou, but thanks to Vynder, that would be the first place they'd look at! I keep to a seemingly unknown swamp to hide from the horrors of the empire."
 * R2-D2: "It clearly isn't THAT unknown of previous episode mercentdise gets dumped here."
 * Yoda: Well, my point is that it is my duty to teach you the ways of the Force. (Jumps to the ground) Are you ready, my new apprentice?
 * Luke:...Let's do it.
 * Leia: (Repairing the ship and does a few engineering modifications as Han appeared) Alright, I pulled this all apart, and it looks like you're gonna need a new condenser.
 * Han: Really?
 * Leia: Yeah, and I'd also recommend a full flushing of the photon-conversion system.
 * Han: I swear I just did that a while ago.
 * Leia: Wait...I'm familiar with this part of the story...isn't this the scene where we make out?...(The two of them laugh)
 * Han: HAH! Like I'm actually gonna make out with a female! (Laughs) Why did the producer get a female character to cast me, anyway?
 * Leia: I wouldn't worry about it. Let's just get that new condenser.
 * Han: And how are we gonna order a new condenser inside the crater of a meteorite. Nobody will be able to find us here, let alone get past the Imperials out there.
 * Leia: Not to worry, I always come prepared. (Takes out a new condenser)
 * Han: HAH! If I was a male, I'd make out with you RIGHT NOW! (The two laugh)
 * Vynder: (A flush was heard inside a cubicle as Vynder came out) How does the actual Darth Vader take a bathroom break, anyway, let alone eat? How does he survive? Does he have his own feeding system or something? (Suddenly, something called her)...Master!...Looks like I finished my shift just in time. (She enters her meditation room and then gets onto a kneepad)... What is thy bidding, my master? (Emperor Palpatine (Chi Fu) appeared with the same gray face in a hologram)
 * Emperor: Well, my apprentice, it appears there is a great disturbance in the Force.
 * Vynder: I have felt it... In fact, it came during my shift. Thought it was my period a while ago, then I realized that I don't have a good va--
 * Emperor: I do not need to know that, Vynder! Besides, that isn't even what I mean! You know what all this means, do you?
 * Vynder: That we have a new enemy?
 * Emperor: Exactly. I have no doubt that Anakin Skywalker's son is still alive.
 * Vynder: Really?... Well... How did that happen?
 * Emperor: I'm afraid I must tell you at another time. The thing that you must do is to find this son and turn him to the dark side. Trust me, if this guy was capable to wreck our Death Star and pull off a successful prison break of that Alderan princess, then he's WAY too dangerious to fight for good guys. In fact, you may've gotten reports that some AT-ATs got wrecked by him. Those things are usually unstoppable!
 * Vynder: I will not fail you, my master.
 * Chi Fu: Great. You're dismissed. (His hologram message disappears)
 * Vynder:... Huh... My son is still alive? I mean, I know that I'm no longer entitled by that name, but it's still what I once was. I'd better get this problem checked out immediately- GA'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, TOO SOON!? Now the big surprise at the end isn't gonna be too surprising for the audience!
 * Shifu: (Luke stretches for a bit)...Alright, that's good, stretch it out so we can start the training.
 * Luke: I'm ready, Master Yoda. I'm ready to become a Jedi!
 * Shifu: You sure? Because Jedi force training usually takes YEARS for a rookie to learn how to properly use the Force...(Throws up several plates of rock)...and years longer for that rookie to completely master it! (He uses the Force to smash the rocks together as they rained down on top of Luke, who was surprised, and picked up a rock) PUT THAT DOWN!! THE ONLY SOUVENIRS WE COLLECT HERE ARE BLOODY KNUCKLES AND BROKEN BONES!!
 * Luke: Ohh, that sounds WAY more better than broken rocks! (Throws the rock away) Okay, Master Yoda. I'm certainly ready to become a Jedi.
 * Shifu: Excellent...let's get started.
 * Luke: "Ya know, that was REALLY weird to use a non-star wars song here."
 * Yoda: "Well we're in a parody, so those sort've things are excuseable. Remember the constent references we talked about."
 * Luke: Well, I do feel a bit stronger now.
 * Yoda: Oh, we're just getting started....
 * Luke: ".... This is not gonna be quick and easy, isn't it?"
 * Yoda: "No it is not."

Chapter 6- Space Slug
Meteor Crater Outside Falcon
 * Leia: (Sits down reading a book, and notices something out the cockpit window, and when she takes a closer look, a large alien parasite that looks like Savio appeared and started sucking on the window) AAHH!!
 * Parasite (Savio): Aw, a squirrel, how adorable, I could just eat you up! (Sucking on the glass)
 * Leia: YIPE! (Runs off)
 * Parasite: "..... I hate it when I scare people like that."
 * The Trash Creature appeared.
 * Trash Creature: "SON!?"
 * Parasite: "DADDY!"
 * The Trash Creature and the Parasite hugged.
 * Trash Creature: "Now, let's go back home to that planet of the annoying Chewawa people.... If I take the correct turns at Albaquirky this time."
 * The two left.
 * Han: (She and Chewbacca were playing dejarik) HA-HAH! My Mantellian Savrip devours your K'lor'slug! (Chuckles) I bet you didn't see THAT coming.
 * Chewbacca: (Does Wookiee growl, then notices something, then moves a piece)
 * Han: WHAT?!? WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?
 * Chewbacca: Check and mate!
 * Han: WHAT?!? That's cheating!
 * Chewbacca: No it's not, silly! The rules clearly state that the Mantellian Savrip has an allergic reaction to K'lor'slugs that last two turns.
 * C3PO: Huh...you're actually winning for once, Chewbacca. We're once again lucky that we don't have to worry about her ripping someone's arms off.
 * Chewbacca: Did Han say that? No, I don't pull someone's arms off. I just give them a noogie!
 * Han: (Sighs) I HATE this game.
 * Leia: (Went to Han) There's something out there!
 * Han: Are you sure? What did it look like?
 * Leia: It looked ore like them algae-sucking creatures from Alderaan.
 * Han: Hmm...a sucking parasite...I think we should go outside and check things out.
 * Leia: (She, Chewbacca and Han came out with helmets like Sandy's on)...What's all this slime on the floor?
 * Chewbacca: EEEEWW!! It's all slimy! (More of the parasites flew right by as Han blasted at them, then a tremor was heard)...Wait a minute...(Blasts the floor as the tremor was heard again)...Ohhh...snap! I think we should get out of here.
 * Leia: Why?
 * Han: JUST GO! (They all enter the cockpit, start the Falcon and fly off as they see the toothy stalactite-like structures resembled a mouth)
 * Leia: OH, NO!! THE CAVE IS COLLAPSING!!
 * Han: THIS IS NO CAVE!!
 * Leia: WHAT?!?
 * Han: "WE'RE IN A GIANT SPACE SLUG!?"
 * The Millennium Falcon gets out as a Space Slug (Tri-Corn) almost manages to snag the ship!
 * The Ship flies away.
 * Space Slug: "..... Well, I guess it's chinese again."
 * The Space Slug puts on a headset.
 * Voice: "Hello, you reached Mr. Ping's kung-pow palace. How can I be of service to you?"
 * Space Slug: "Yeah, give me 1 trillion Kung Pow Chicken, 1 quintillion rice balls, 1 sextillion gallens of sodas, and 2 billion fortune cookies. Oh, and a olmympic swimming pool of your finest soups. (Voice was speaking). It's for me and the millions of parasites I have living inside me. (Voice spoke again) OF COURSE I AM AS BIG AS AN ASTEROID, I'M A F****** SPACE SLUG!!...(Voice spoke again) I'll pay with the million of years worth of lost treasure I keep inside my gut that my almost lunch didn't notice."
 * The Millennium Falcon came back.
 * Han's voice: YOU HAVE TREASURE INSIDE YOU?! I CAN TOTALLY USE THAT TO PAY BACK JABBA?! (A slap was heard) OW, SORRY!! (The Falcon flies off)
 * Space Slug:...And I need it delivered!

Chapter 7- The Elusion
Dagobah
 * Luke: (Jumps across the swamp with Yoda on his back)...Whew, alright, I did that 122nd jog across the swamp like you asked.
 * Yoda: Well, great. I sense that the Force is getting close to being at your command. It certainly came to you ALOT quicker with this method then what I originally planned. I was originally gonna give you the Karate Kid treatment, effective, but considering the choas of the Empire, it wouldn't be fast enough to stop more worlds from being blown up.
 * Luke: "But I destroyed the Death Star."
 * Yoda: "What, you didn't actselly think the Empire won't attempt to make a new one, do you? A desistating super weapon with the power to perimentaly destroy all enemies is not something one let's stay destroyed. Espeically not a murderious empire ruled by one of the surviving members of the Sith and Vanguard by a cyborgconected dragoness."
 * Luke: "..... Well, barnicles. I figured a think like that would be impossable to rebuild."
 * Yoda: "Well, it does take like, a freakishly long time to make on, so there is plently of time to trash future productions."
 * Luke: Hmm...(Sees a small patch in the swamp)...What's in the cave?
 * Yoda: That place is strong with the Dark Side. It is the next phase of your training.
 * Luke: Well, I'm not afraid of whatever that hole in a wall has to offer. I can take whatever is inside down with my hands tied up around my body.
 * Yoda: Do not underestimate that area. It is quite formidable, even for me.
 * Luke:...Well...okay, I guess I'd better get started. (Goes into the cave)...(Wanders across the dark area, and then he sees Vynder, who activates her tail lightsaber and starts dueling with Luke, and then Luke ends up cutting her head off. Then the head falls to the ground, explodes, and reveals Luke's face)...Okay, how does THAT make any sense? That's a dragon! What, was she born with a face like mine, or something?
 * Face: Hey, I'm just an illusion, pal, don't push it!
 * Luke: YAAHH!! THE HEAD IS STILL ALIVE!!! (Smacks the lightsaber on the head and chops it up) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! I AM LUKE SKYWALKER, DESTROYER OF EVIIIIILLLL!!!
 * Yoda: (Appears) Calm down, it's just an illusion.
 * Luke: Well, I guess this area wasn't so hard. What makes this place strong with the Dark Side anyway?
 * Yoda: "It's cursed by an anichent Sith lord to make illusions of either your worse fears, or to warn you of horrorable truths."
 * Luke: "Well I just defeated Vynder, so, I am OBVIOUSLY not afraid of her. So, was that almost pointless scene a warning of some shocking truth?"
 * Yoda: "Well, it's not just the curse. This cave is DANGERIOUSLY infested with Space Marajauna that can cause sever hallusinations even when your not smoking it. We need to get out of here before something worse happens."
 * Luke: "Pfft! Your serious? Space Marajuana? There's no such thing."