Planet of the Icks

Planet of the Icks is the 12th Episode of the 2nd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Icky and Lord Shen, alone in space, fight over the controls of the van and crash on an unidentified planet called Ichthyos. They discover that the planet is inhabited by Ichthyornis birds left untouched by evolution itself. Ichthyos and it's races are under the tyrannical dictatorship of Emperor Jerky, who self proclaims himself as the undisputed ruler of the United Universes and everyone and everything in it. Now, with the help of Jerky's attractive sister, Pretty, Shen and Icky must work together and look over petty disagreements to defeat Emperor Jerky and end his tyranny. This is a parody of the classic movie Planet of the Apes.

Chapter 1: Space Drive
In Space
 * Lord Shen: (Icky drives the van through space) So, where are we headed?
 * Icky: We're gonna take a quick trip to Equestria and visit Twilight and her friends so we can help them with the upcoming Gala.
 * Lord Shen: And why are we doing it alone?
 * Icky: Because the Lodgers have some busy work to be doing for the moment.
 * Lord Shen: Like what?
 * Icky: Well, they had to visit their homeworlds for a few days for reasons I'd rather not explain. Don't you remember hearing it from last week?
 * Lord Shen: Oh, yeah, I sort of forgot.
 * Icky: I can't wait to see the new bearers of the Original Elements of Harmony. But I should also tell you that Celestia is having some issues about what happened on the 4th of July. She is still upset about how you scolded her.
 * Lord Shen: Really? Well, I technically didn't mean to snap at her.
 * Icky: But you were right. She is taking her mistakes VERY seriously. Especially after her lies in that whole pirate fiasco. But still, she told me she would never keep secrets from you again. Even if it means you will get pissed or for your own protection.
 * Lord Shen: I hope so. While I may be losing faith in her, I still love her. And I can't say I blame her for it. I gotta learn to control my temper every once in a while.
 * Icky: Well, anyway, we're on our way to Equestria right now.
 * Lord Shen: Okay...wait a second...I forgot something. I need to go to Gongmen City.
 * Icky: Why? We only left like 20 minutes ago.
 * Lord Shen: Because the Soothsayer said that I need to go and help Gongmen clean up the mess caused by those Skeeterazoids last season. I do that every Sunday.
 * Icky: Well, can we do that after our trip to Equestria? I'm sure Celestia will need some comforting from you.
 * Lord Shen: Sorry, but repairing Gongmen is my responsibility since Lord Cobra used me as his puppet, and it is more important. It's my home, and I intend to protect it. Now gimme the wheel--
 * Icky: NO!
 * Lord Shen: And why not? You have a girlfriend you intend to see as well?
 * Icky: You mean Gilda? I do NOT want to see her. (Lord Shen grins at him)...Alright, fine, yes I do!
 * Lord Shen: Well, I am the General, and I say we're going to Gongmen! (Grabs the wheel)
 * Icky: LET GO!!!
 * Lord Shen: YOU LET GO!!! (The van spins out of control) I SAID LET GO, PREHISTORIC ONE!!!
 * Icky: YOU LET GO, PEACOCK!!!
 * Lord Shen: I don't wanna get into this fight, prehistoric one! Give me the wheel this instant!!!
 * Icky: You can't tell me what to do out here, Shenny! We're going to Equestria, and that's final!
 * Lord Shen: LET GO!!! (The van spins down onto a green and green-blue planet) Wait, what;s happening?
 * Icky: Now look what you did!!! We're gonna CRASH!!!
 * Lord Shen: It's YOUR fault, you dumb clown!
 * Icky: CLOWN?!? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CLOWN, WHITEY?!?
 * Lord Shen: WHITEY?!? WHY I NEVER?!? (Both Lord Shen and Icky brawl)
 * Computer Voice: Warning! Ship is caught in gravitational field! Brace yourselves!
 * Icky: Oh, how nice! Fighting in the middle of our falling death!!!
 * Lord Shen: Shut up and help me swivel this ship around so we don't burn up!
 * Icky: Sure. (They do that, and they safely crash in a prehistoric swamp)

Chapter 2: Planet Ichthyos
Swamp Later... 2 hours later...
 * Lord Shen: Uhhgh! Where are we?
 * Icky: Well, let's read the UUHD. (Reads) It says we're on a planet called Ichthyos.
 * Lord Shen: Anything we need to know?
 * Icky: Well, it says...(Suddenly the UUHD breaks down) Aw, damn it!!! It's busted.
 * Lord Shen: Well, at least we know the planet we're on.
 * Icky: Ichthyos. Why do I get the feeling that name reminds me of myself?
 * Lord Shen: Well, this place looks like your homeworld, so I guess that question is answered.
 * Icky: Well, I'm still pissed at you for causing us to get stranded on this planet.
 * Lord Shen: Well, excuse me, Mr. Icky-face! I wanted to get my job in Gongmen City done because it's my responsibilty.
 * Icky: Well, I thought you would be happy to see Princess Celestia again. I mean, she is crying her eyes out after what you said to her last 4th of July!
 * Lord Shen: I told you I didn't mean to yell at her!!!
 * Icky: Nevertheless, we're stranded on this Ichthyos planet, and no one knows where we are. I sure hope this place isn't as horrible as Pastoon.
 * Lord Shen: Well, our cell signals are jammed due to the bad weather. Not to mention there's a storm coming this way. (Notes the storm clouds coming their way, and lighting booms)
 * Icky: Crapski! Well, I hope we can find shelter on this mudball soon. I hate getting my feathers wet.
 * Lord Shen: What about our van? We'll need it to get out of here when we get the chance.
 * Icky: You're right, but we aren't strong enough to move it.
 * Lord Shen: Good point, but I have an idea...
 * Icky: (They have made an artificially-created cart large enough to move the van) Good plan. Why didn't I think of that sooner?
 * Lord Shen: So now what?
 * Icky: Well, I don't know. There won't be shelter for a few more miles.
 * Lord Shen: (Shrugs) Why did I even have to get stuck with an idiot like you.
 * Icky: IDIOT?!? I'll have you know that I'm NOT an idiot. I have a brain! Here's a picture of it! (Shows him the picture)
 * Lord Shen: Whatever. Let's just go. (They push the cart through the swamp)
 * Icky: (Sweating and panting) Oh, God! I'm so hungry!
 * Lord Shen: As am I. Hey, didn't we pack some food in the van when we left?
 * Icky: Yeah, great idea. Let's go find it. (Both go into the van) HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! (Little unsentient animals take off with the food) GET BACK HERE! DAMN YOU, THAT'S OUR FOOD!!!
 * Lord Shen: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, how WONDERFUL! It's one thing we crash on a planet that we don't even know about, but now WE'VE LOST OUR FOOD!!!
 * Icky: Hey, don't blame me! It's your fault we're stranded on this planet in the first place!
 * Lord Shen: You know what, I don't even wanna get into this argument.
 * Icky: Well, at least there's some fish we can catch. (They see a river full of fish)
 * Lord Shen: Me? Eat rotten smelly fish from a swamp? I don't think so!
 * Icky: Fine, enjoy starvation!
 * Lord Shen: (Shrugs) Fine!
 * Icky goes and tried to snag a fish.
 * Lord Shen: "Just my life. First That Peng episode gets canned because the producer get's a very bad temper-trantrum about The T one's failure to attend, the cronitcles in cluttered alot of epiosdes supposed to be uncanon, and Now i am stranded on a planet that i processsed little knowledge of And to too it up, Celestia is in a sadness, and i am dreadfully late to add my contribution to repairing Gongmin."
 * Icky from afar: "Don't worry, i called ahead to both of them on my Iphone, told them we're late cause of van trouble and stranded in a strange alien planet. Your good."
 * Lord Shen: "Oh thank you prehistoric o-"
 * Lord Shen face changed to shocked surprised!
 * Lord Shen: "WHAT?! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WE HAD A MEANS TO ESCAPE ALL ALONG?"
 * Icky: "We can't fly an Iphone in space."
 * Lord Shen: I MEANT LIKE CALLING FOR HELP?! YOU SHOULD'VE DONE IT EARLIER BEFORE?!
 * Icky: I needed a strong signal, so I found it on a hill. You don't have to be a pea-COCK about it!!!
 * Lord Shen: NOBODY CALLS ME THAT!!! (Both he and Icky brawl again)
 * The duo tumbled into a cave.
 * Lord Shen: "I'LL FREAKING RIP YOU APART?!"
 * Shadows loom over them.
 * It's several universeal sentient animals in loincloths.
 * Shen and Icky look at them.
 * Icky: "Uh.... Hey there."
 * A lioncloth monkey approuched them, and made monkey sounds. as do the "supposively" other sentient lioncloth animals.
 * A loincloth Peacock appeared and grabed Shen's robe, biting it!
 * Lord Shen: HOW DARE YOU?!? THAT IS THE FINEST SILK IN THE PROVINCE!!!
 * Icky: What're you doing to him?!? (The peacock was surprised when he saw Icky, and then got angry) What? (The peacock screeched at him, and attacked him) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?!?
 * Lord Shen: What is wrong with you guys?!? (They all look at him)...You don't speak? Well, crap!
 * Icky: SHEN!!! SHEN!!! DO SOMETHING!!!
 * Lord Shen: (Throws blades at the creatures, and the creatures jumped as the baldes missed them as a warning.) The next batch will not miss! (The rest of the tribe retreat) AND DON'T COME BACK!!!
 * Icky: Thanks for that.
 * Lord Shen: Don't mention it. Now, what should we do until the Lodgers rescue us?
 * Icky: I don't know about you, but I think I'll take a little snooze. Night.
 * Lord Shen:...Well, I'm a little bushed, too.
 * Icky: "What was with those people?"
 * Lord Shen: "Judging by their clothing, i am going to assume they're tribal beings. They seems to be barely sentient but animal like in the same time, like, they're in their tribal stage."
 * Icky: "You mean, they're like Tarzan?"
 * Lord Shen: Well...yeah, but they can't speak English for some reason.
 * Icky: And I'm a little confused why that primitive peacock was surprised to see me. Did I do something wrong to him long ago?
 * Lord Shen: (Laughs) That's very unlikely, prehistoric one.
 * Icky: Yeah, I knew that.
 * Lord Shen: But I'm guessing this planet may be populated by birds just like you.
 * Icky: What do you mean?
 * Lord Shen: I don't know, but I think I'm completing a puzzle here.
 * Icky: Hmm...well, I think I know what the puzzle's picture is. You ever watch the 1968-1973 Planet of the Apes movies?
 * Lord Shen: (Dubbed as Brian) Uh, sure, but I'm wondering if you have.
 * Icky: (Dubbed as Stewie) Oh my, God, so transparent. The movies depict a time-traveling story about humans traveling to a future post-apocalyptic Earth ruled by simians, whereas the humans are vermin that are mute and are hunted for sport. This leads to Earth's destruction from a nuclear bomb, and a few surviving apes go back in time, and try to adapt to human society, and their offspring wind up leading a simian revolt to wipe out humans until they were forced to live side-by-side.
 * Lord Shen: Wow, complicated story. But what does traveling through time have to do with this planet?
 * Icky: It doesn't. I'm saying that you might be right. Maybe this planet IS just like future Earth. Instead, it's populated by Ichthyornises like me. Whereas other species like the ones we encountered are vermin that cannot speak and are hunted for sport.
 * Lord Shen: "Well i'm pretty sure the van is incapable of time travel, Prehistoric one."
 * Icky: "True, but, remember that in every universe, it has each of it's own very different versons of earth. Alot of worlds are in very different time periods that are either already passed or have yet to come."
 * Lord Shen: "Interesting throey, but we'll talk about it more by morn. We have alot of traveling to do. So, good night, Prehistoric one."
 * Icky: "Same to you, whitey." (They both go to sleep)

Chapter 3: Captured by...Ickys?
The next morning
 * Icky: (Wakes up after hearing a noise, yawns, and stretches) Lord Shen? Lord Shen, wake up! I heard a noise.
 * Lord Shen: (Sturred) Uhhgh...it's probably a bird, Icky, I'm too tired to get up right now. (Turns around and lies down)
 * Icky: Yeah, it was a bird. And DOES THAT BIRD LOOK OR SOUND FAMILIAR TO YOU?!?
 * Lord Shen: (Shrugs) Fine! I'm getting up! (Stretches)
 * ???: HELLO IN THERE?!? COME OUT SLOWLY!!! WE'RE ARMED, AND WE'RE NOT AFRAID TO GO IN THERE AND USE FORCE AGAINST YOU!!!
 * Lord Shen: "Oh what is possabily the worse you can-"
 * A siluetted figure riding a Raptor appears in front of Shen!
 * Lord Shen: "EGAD! WE'RE IN AN APPEARENT DINOSAUR PLANET?!"
 * Icky: "Not just anyway dino planet.... Get a load of the handsome dude riding the sharpteeth." (An Ichthyornis similar to Icky appears from the raptor)
 * Lord Shen: (Gasps) Oh, great! As if ONE Icky wasn't bad enough!!!
 * Ichthyornis: What are you talking about? (Notices Icky, and gasps) What're you doing to this poor guy?
 * Lord Shen: Poor guy? This 'poor guy' is with me!
 * Ichtnyornis: You don't fool me for one second! You're just making an excuse so I don't arrest you for kidnapping one of us. Besides, after seeing your ship outside, I can tell you're not from here! Foolish alien!
 * Lord Shen: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You think Icky is one of you?
 * Ichthyornis: (Dubbed as Hopper) Are you saying I'm stupid?
 * Lord Shen: What? No!
 * Ichthyornis: (Dubbed as Hopper) Do I look stupid to you? Let's just think about it for a minute! If he was truely one of you, wouldn't he be wearing absolutely nothing fron the waist down?
 * Lord Shen: Well, you look much of a nudist yourself!
 * Ichthyornis: YOU INSOLENT FOOL!!! (Takes out a large triple-barreled gun)
 * Lord Shen: YIPE!!!
 * Ichthyornis: Unhand the innocent bystander, or things will get inconvenient!
 * Lord Shen: Oh, really? You and what army? (Suddenly, many other Ichthyornises riding other raptors appear with triple-barreled guns pointing them at his face)
 * Ichthyornis: THAT army!
 * Icky: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Put your guns down, sir! Lord Shen is telling the truth! I'm not from this place!
 * Ichthyornis: Clearly, this peacock is blackmailing you.
 * Icky: (Scoffs) How stupid can these guys be?
 * Ichthyornis: STUPID?!? I'll have you know, I'm not stupid! I have a brain! Here's a picture of it! (Shows him the picture)
 * Lord Shen: (Laughs) Like looking in a mirror.
 * Icky: "Uh, ignor his comment. I have such the image to prove i'm not a native here. (Brings out a group photo of the louge) Here, looky and weep!"
 * Ichthyornis: "Well i'll be.... The rumors are true. There IS Other Ichthyornis beyond the stars! The imprisoned Dr Wordy was right!"
 * Icky: "Well, here's the thing, and, this may come as a shock, but, Dinosaur worlds like this, are, far few inbetween."
 * Ichthyornis: "They are? What are the other world like?"
 * Icky: "Uh.... Do you really want me to say it?"
 * Ichthornis: "This is a very concerning sudden reveilment! I am the commander of the imperial army, General Armory. I must know this, what is the majority of this univeres?"
 * Icky: "Well, (nerviously laughs) Firstly, There's more then one universe. Trust me on this one, i'll get to it eventally. Secondly, uh, Do you know those loincloth wearing weirdos i, presume you hunt as sport? Yeah, there's "Sentient Versons" of those guys. Don't believe me, the Peacock's proof of that."
 * General Armory (the Ichthyornis): "(Gasp)...... The Emperor is never gonna believe me.... Unless...... YOU! You and the alien Fan-Butt-Bird will serve as evidence!"
 * Lord Shen: "YOU CALL ME A WHAT?!"
 * General Armory: "It's what we call the native birds where the males have those giant tail feathers. We call them Fan-Butt-Birds."
 * Icky: "Oh good lord, you seriously should'nt've called him that."
 * Lord Shen growls!
 * Lord Shen: "INSULT ME, WILL YOU, YOU DAMN, DIRTY ICKS?!"
 * General Armory: "BOYS, SET YOUR GUNS TO STUN?!"
 * Icky: "Oh boy."
 * Lord Shen: YAAAA--(Gets knocked out)
 * Icky: Uh...okay, let's just talk for a moment, General Armory.
 * General Armory: We will not stun you. Tis' against Ichthyos law. 'An Ichthyornis shall not hurt an Ichthyornis'. You have no idea what the penalty is for violation of that rule.
 * Icky: Well, thank you. But, uh, what're you gonna do with Lord Shen?
 * General Armory: Well, if he is indeed one of your allies, we shall try and convince the Emperor to spare him. But it is very unlikely Emperor Jerky will allow that. He is fair, but firm. He doesn't take kindly to other-worldly beings such as this 'Lord Shen' guy.
 * Icky: Well, that's a relief.
 * General Armory: Now, you must tell me, who are you?
 * Icky: My name is Icky. My name was actually spelled I-C-H-Y, but the producer plays by his own rules. I am a proud member of the Shell Lodge Squad.
 * General Armory: The Shell Lodge Squad? Impossible. They're just a myth.
 * Icky:...I can tell I owe you a lot more answers, huh? Se that picture i showed you earlier? Yeah, THAT'S US IN A NUTSHELL?!
 * General Armory: "....... Mind, blown. To be honest, i feel stupid for insulting and/or knocking out a legend."
 * Icky: "Oh don't worry, he's a tough old bird. He once survived getting beaten up by Fagin and Ratigan once. Hell, he survived an explowion!"
 * General Armory: "Well, it's kinda a long walk from here. We might as well enjoy the scenery Mr. Icky."

Chapter 4: Emperor Jerky
Near Palace grounds. The royal thrown room. (He sings this.)
 * Icky: "Wow, classy."
 * General Armory: "Behold, the lair of our great Emperor. His kingdom is wide and huge."
 * Icky: "How huge?"
 * General Armory: "The whole universe. He processes power greater then anything, and anyone."
 * Lord Shen (chained up): "So he self proclaims himself as ruler of the entire universe just because he runs a very sucessful empire? Ego much?"
 * General Armory: "Normally, i be offended by this, but i somewhat do agree. He tends to be, High and Mighty. But that can't be help when you have the powers of a god, in the sacred royal spector of the Anicents. He processes great magic, the ability to create, to heal, to malmitulate, and, if provoked, to destroy."
 * Lord Shen: "I must warn you that kind of power in the hands of someone who tends to have an easily bruse pride is a dangerious combination."
 * General Armory: "(Laughs), you talk like his sister, the imperial princess..... Not that i don't share that concern. His parents did not originaly intended Emperor Jerky to bare such a gift.... but they died of a Mysterious Sickness before Pretty can take the spector offitcally, so His highness took over instead. Aside from a few, slightly over-bearing Regulations, life under Emperor Jerky's rule has been great..... Provided if said regulations had not been volilated."
 * Icky: "I have to be honest here, who would name their kid "Jerky"?"
 * General Armory: "Kinda a custom here. All of are names must always end with a Y."
 * Icky: "Hmm, seems legit."
 * Icky and Shen are escorted by Armory and the protrol arrived.
 * Icky: "So, were in an empty room."
 * Armory: "Don't be discourage.... His highness likes to, make an enterence."
 * suddenly, the room gets dark, and a spotlight lights on the center of the room.
 * Lord Shen: "What in Celestia's mane?!"
 * Music begans to play, as Emperor Jerky in all his imperial glory begins to get his groove on.
 * Icky: "I don't know why, but he has a mix custome design of my main man Kuzco's Emperor clothing with Jafar's cape, and the trademark planet of the apes helmet
 * Emperor Jerky: "Oh yeah."

hours later. Hallway. Room. In Shen's worst-case senario fear. Present
 * Icky:...Whoa! It's not the only time a character started his introduction to us in song.
 * Emperor Jerky: Welcome to my empire, eavesdroppers! I am Emperor Jerky. What breed of damn fool do you have to be to just land on our planet without a code clearence?
 * Lord Shen: For your information, Emperor, we crash landed by mistake. We had no intention to eavesdrop on your homeworld.
 * Emperor Jerky: So I see.
 * General Armory: We found them in a cave, my lord. They have proof that they're members of the mythical Shell Lodge Squad.
 * Emperor Jerky: The Shell Lodge Squad, huh? Yes, I have heard tall-tales about that team before. They say they ride in a flaming hot comet that can travel at the speed of light, and they are meant to keep our universe flowing safe and still. I'd rather not go into the details. So, tell me, is there more to this story, noble ones?
 * Icky: "Yeah, allow me to do some myth busting Turkey Jerky."
 * Icky:...So you see, that's what we're meant to do. We are meant to keep the UUniverses safe from evil and conquest.
 * Emperor Jerky: Hmm...Interesting. ("I can't believe it! Hundreds of heroes forming only one group. But something boggles my mind...what if these heroes discover my true intentions?...What if they wind up dethroning me?...I must make sure that does not happen. And I know just how to do it. I'll befriend these simpletons to the point they won't be able to believe anything about such things.") How's about, invite you guys to dinner?
 * Icky: "Aw sweet Shen, a free lunch."
 * Lord Shen: Good. Anything's better than the dirty fishes in that river.
 * Emperor Jerky: Good. We shall begin at 12:00.
 * ???: Jerky? Have you seen my lucky bracelet?
 * Emperor Jerky: ("F**K, it's my sister!") Uh...NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN IT!
 * ???: Are you sure?
 * Emperor Jerky: YES, I'M SURE!!! GOD!!!
 * Icky: Who's the lady that's calling you?
 * General Armory: That's his sister, Pretty.
 * Lord Shen: Oh, of course, the princess you told us about. (Pretty comes out as a purple-colored Ichthyornis with long black hair) Whoa, would you look at those hooters!
 * Pretty: WHAT DID YOU F*****G SAY?!? I'LL PEEL THE FLESH RIGHT OFF YOUR BONES!!!
 * Lord Shen: I wasn't refering to you, i was refering to the owls out there.! (They see a few owls out the window) My the glories those owls are huge!
 * Pretty: Oh, sorry....Wait a minute...you're not from here, are you? Jerky, who's the Fan-Bu--
 * General Armory: (Covers her mouth) Don't call him that! Just call him a 'peacock'. That's their original name. He reacts horribly to that name.
 * Pretty: Oh, sorry. Uh...who's the peacock, and that...incredibly charming Ichthyornis?
 * Jerky: Uhh...um...(Gulps)...Uh, sister, haven't you got a bracelet to look for?
 * Pretty: Tell me, Jerky! I don't wanna have to report you hiding secrets again.
 * Jerky:...(Sighs) They're other-worldly beings. Claimed they are members of the Shell Lodge Squad.
 * Pretty: Really? I thought they were a myth.
 * Jerky: Well, I don't need to go into the details. I'm inviting them to a dinner party. And I feel it would be much comfortable if you weren't there.
 * Pretty: "(Scoffs), why do you always disinclude me in every royal party or festivity?!"
 * Jerky: "Well, firstly: One, you always embarris me in front of guests, 2, you question EVERY SINGLE thing i do, and 3rd, you onced interupted a royal hunt when we were this close in baging a vermin."
 * Pretty: Well, it would help if you weren't so damn stern and arrogant all the time. Someday, that attitude is gonna get you in a lot of trouble.
 * Jerky: That's what you ALWAYS say about me, and I'm just as wise and loyal to my own community as my subjects. But YOU are an exception.
 * Pretty: Only because it's true.
 * Jerky: (Shrugs) You are SO infuriating! Sometimes I wish I never even HAD a sister who's just so plum nosey all the time!
 * Pretty: Nosey? NOSEY?!? I'm only doing what's best for this empire. Besides, I wish you could show a little concern over your choices instead of just rushing into things like it's your own business.
 * General Armory: That would be nice. (Jerky bonks him on the head)
 * Jerky: Silence!
 * Lord Shen: ENOUGH OF THIS SIBLING RIVALRY!!!
 * Icky: Yeah, I don't argue with MY sister all the time.
 * Jerky:...My apologies, Mr....uh...
 * Icky: Icky.
 * Jerky: Icky. And you are?
 * Lord Shen: Shen. Lord Shen.
 * Jerky: Yeah, anyway. Pretty, I need to be alone with these two. I don't need you nosing about in it.
 * Pretty: I AM NOT NOSEY!!!
 * Jerky: Nosey, nosey, nosey!
 * Lord Shen: I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!!!
 * Icky: Yeesh, what's with all this 'nosey' accusations?
 * Pretty: My brother thinks I'm questioning his authority a lot. I'm just doing what's best for this empire.
 * Lord Shen: You said that.
 * Pretty: Look, Jerky! I need to know about these guys before you go nieved again like you did last time. I'm attending that dinner party, and you can't stop me.
 * Jerky: D'oh! ("With this whiney bitch at the dinner party, easeing the duo into my side will be tens times diffitcult then i wanted!...Unless...I can distract her.") Fine! You win! But no nosing about!
 * Pretty: (Shrugs)
 * Jerky: Come, Lodgers! I shall show you to your living quarters.
 * Icky: "Oh sweet, a stay in casa de Ick. Sweetamondo!"
 * Lord Shen: "Well, not my first time i spended time in a royal palace."
 * Pretty looks on concerningly, thinking her brother is up to something.
 * Icky: "So, Turkey Jerky, we been told your parents died from getting sick. Any reveilations on that?"
 * Jerky stopped in his pace, and looked down, like stricten in sadness.
 * Jerky: "I prefer not to reference it. Far too painful."
 * Icky: "Eee, i take it you lost them, at a young age or something?"
 * Jerky: "...... Depends, how young would you consider, 9 years old would be?"
 * Icky: "In Human years, Bird Years or Dog years?"
 * Jerky: Bird years. But since bird years are different depending on the species, I wouldn't worry about it. It all happened when I was the bird equivalent of 9 human years. Leave it at that.
 * Lord Shen: Well, I think it's best if we hear it.
 * Jerky: No thank you. I don't wanna be reminded of that moment.
 * Icky: Okay, maybe we'll ask Pretty.
 * Jerky: NO! Uh...I mean, sure, whatever.
 * Lord Shen:...Okay.
 * Jerky: "Honestly Icky, are you always this questionitive?"
 * Lord Shen: "That's not even one of his WORSE attrebutes."
 * Jerky: "Well gentlemen, here is the royal living qouters."
 * Icky: "Ohh, upgrade."
 * Jerky: "I come back to inform you when dinner is ready."
 * Jerky walks away.
 * Shen and Icky walked in.
 * Icky: "Ya know Shen, maybe this won't be so bad after all."
 * Lord Shen: "Quite, aside from an awkword enterence, i think we're into a fine old time."
 * Knock knock.
 * Pretty's voice: "May i come in?"
 * Icky: Oh, sure, Pretty. (Pretty comes in)
 * Pretty: I'll need to speak with you privately about my brother.
 * Icky: Wow, nice racks!
 * Pretty: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?
 * Icky: Over there! The racks. (Points at the mideval torture devices)
 * Pretty: Oh.
 * Lord Shen: Do you get that a lot?
 * Pretty: You have no idea. Anyway, I think you should know a few things about my brother before you head over for your meal.
 * Lord Shen: Sure. I could go for some good knowledge once in a while.
 * Pretty: Alright. Emperor Jerky...he's not who he says he is. He's actually got a bad attitude inside. Ever since the death of our parents, he's been pretty...aggressive.
 * Icky: How aggressive?
 * Pretty: Well, he rules the Empire with an iron-wing, and he sometimes treats his subjects harshly. Like this one time, he kicked out a pheasant that was asking for food. He was like "HAH! You really shouldn't have thought of that before you became PHESANTS!!!" Uggh! I've never heard such foul words from even our parents.
 * Lord Shen: What?!? That's just unfair!
 * Icky: I wonder why THAT sounds familiar. Oh that's right, Yzma, a human from Kuzco's empire does the exact same shit.
 * Pretty: Well, he didn't use to be that way. When we were only chicks, our parents were wise and caring rulers of the Ichthyornis Empire. He was always inspired by the great healing powers of the spector.
 * Icky: "And let me guess, they got sick, right?"
 * Lord Shen: "Well, that's sort of a plothole into our story, if the spector has such incredable and healing powers, why did it NOT heal them?"
 * Pretty: "The spector was accsidently entrusted by my brother at the time. He was so scared at the time, he couldn't focus. the Spector couldn't work for him. Mother and Father.... were lost to us.... It destistated him forever."
 * Lord Shen: "I know such a feeling."
 * Pretty: 'My brother became obcessed of making sure no loved one will ever die again. He plotted to make a spell that'll grant all who lived in our world immortally... But, a Monkey servent accsidently ruined it by spilling ink.... destroying all my brother's work..... He was desistated even more. He punished all the non Ichthyornis litterally back to the days of unsentience, they litterally became, primitive simpletons."
 * Icky: "Wow....... So, the hunting them, the names, it's just, his way to further degrade and humiliate them for fucking up his dream?"
 * Pretty: "My brother is still trying to rebuild the lost immortally spell."
 * Lord Shen: "He is?"
 * Pretty: "Yes... he was introduse to the ineditable end at a young age. Any child exposed to death at a young age will have dishastorious results in their later years."
 * Icky: "So.... He's insane, racest, controling, and a jerk, cause, he's afraid of death?"
 * Pretty: "He also wants to make it that no one, not even me dispite our disagrees, would never be lost to him from death. I can't even think that he might not be the only one who suffered a simuler problem."
 * Lord Shen realised that Celestia did suffer something like that. Her parents were once murdered by Taiklar Blackheart, and it effected Celestia greatly. he remembers that Celestia is greatly emotional cause of those scars. he even becomes afraid of, what would happen if it wasn't Luna who became the evil one. he even began to get a dark fanisty from this, awful idea.
 * Celestia (dressed in a more dark queen attire): "MOVE FASTER!! ALL OF YOU, ENTER TORWORDS THE POOL OF NEVER ENDING LIFE, SO I WOULD NEVER LOSE ANOTHER!! I NEVER WANT TO FEEL THE PAIN OF DEATH EVER AGAIN!!"
 * We see ponies, even Twilight (as a unicorn) and the Main 6 forced to be dragged in chains to a scary looking vat of magic liquid.
 * Twilight: "PRINCESS!! PLEASE!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"
 * Celestia: I must not lose you like I lost my parents. You shall become immortals like me. Nothing will be able to harm you. Nothing.
 * Lord Shen:...Yeah...me neither.
 * Pretty: Still, I feel there's something else he's not telling me. Something...dark.
 * Lord Shen: I felt the same thing as well. Perhaps he's trying to hide something from us, and he fears we might interfear with it.
 * Icky: Well, I guess we need to find out what it is, and fast. If it is indeed dark, we need to stop it. Iago never gave up when we were on Pastoon, and neither will I. We will not rest until we find out what's going on.
 * Pretty: Thanks a bunch, Icky. I owe you one. Now I best be going. Good luck. (Leaves)
 * Icky: "Well, so much for things looking up."

Chapter 5: Things Get Icky
Dinner room. palace grounds.
 * Emperor Jerky sat in a regel looking chear as he sits in front a very long table with a series fo food as far as the eye can see.
 * Icky: "Oh man! He eats like a king times 1000!"
 * Jerky: "Slight correction, i'm emperor. We eat more well then even the richest king. Now, dig in. Dinner is lovely today."
 * Icky: "What's for Dins?"
 * Jerky: "Only the finest meals of our nation. freashly made and killed from a hunt."
 * Icky: OH, BOY!!!
 * Lord Shen: GROSS!!!
 * Icky: I'll eat any kind of meat, I don't care WHAT it is. (Lord Shen smacks him) WHAT?!?
 * Lord Shen: Those are former sentients you're about to eat, prehistoric one! I am NOT gonna eat that stuff!
 * Icky: Lord Shen, I'm from a world where it doesn't matter what you eat unless it's of your own kind. So PLEASE don't criticize me. I grow up from a freaked up neighborhood!
 * Lord Shen: (Shrugs) Fine! Have it your way, carnivore.
 * Jerky: Yeesh, I see SOMEONE got a visit from the Devil himself.
 * Icky: Trust me, you don't wanna get him ticked. He's a former evil warlord, and he's one badass bird.
 * Lord Shen: (Gasps) I can't believe you told him that!!!
 * Jerky: That is alright, Fa--(Lord Shen grins angrily at him)...peacock. I respect you even though you are a former member of this 'Villain League' you speak of. Please, take a seat. Our first meal is billed bird al-orange. We snagged him in a middle of a mating ritual with a female variation.
 * Icky: "Dude?! You killed the poor dude trying to get laid?! Ok, i may had been a predator, but i at least have the decenty to NOT eat a guy when he was gonna have the biggest score of his life!"
 * Jerky ripps off a leg from the cooked duck.
 * Jerky: "Suit yourself. Feel free to the Le Lobster al-la cream if you want."
 * Jerky bites down on the duck leg.
 * Lord Shen: "I am curious, where did this, tradition of eating these, "Vermin" came from?"
 * Jerky: "Simple: they muliply like rabbits. All they do is eat, poop, sleep, and have sex. They're almost all over the place. Just killing them and hanging their heads in your private qoutars wasn't doing anymore, and there was also a meat shortage when all the dinos we normally eat traveled too far for our warriors to follow, so, i metathoricly killed two birds with one stone. I also litterally done that yesterday."
 * Lord Shen: "Uh, i'm, concern, you don't happen to eat.... Peacocks, do you?"
 * Jerky: "Oh we tried that once.... Tasted awful. We deside we only hunt Fan Bu- i mean "Peacocks" is to turn their tails into giant feather dusters. Our homes have never been cleaner."
 * Lord Shen: "Our feathers can be used as dusters?"
 * Jerky: "Yeah. And wait until you here what we do to Ostraches here."
 * Some guards walked in the dinner room.
 * Jerky: "OH WHAT IS IT?! I AM HAVING DINNER WITH GUESTS?!"
 * Guard: "Sorry your imperial highess, but we caught another alien colored equine with the weird tatoos on their butts. We believe she's assuseated with the other ones we caught."
 * Icky: "Uh oh.... Why do i have the feeling i have a complete idea what he's talking about?"
 * Jerky: "Bring her in."
 * Some soldiers dragged in a blue pony in archilogest clothing and looks injuried.
 * Jerky: "So, exactly what are you and the others we captured and imprisoned are you little horses anyway? Spies? Thiefs? ASSASSINS?!"
 * The pony: "Please, we're just here for a peaceful exbitdition! My name is Buried Logic, and we came here only to study this undiscovered world. We heard stories of a lost prehistoric world and only wish to study. Honest!"
 * Jerky: "Oh, last time i listen to an exquse like that, a gang of punks lead by a Bushy Tailed rat dunk my head into the royal toilet and escaped before my guards could catch them! I smelled like Poo Water for days?!"
 * Icky: "Aw, no. That sounds like Greasy and his jerks."
 * Lord Shen: "Well, explains why the guard policed me for being defferent."
 * Jerky: "Oh have i have wonderious ideas on how to punish you and your assuiates? Oh, here's one! But i want all of her friends here as once. Oh, and bring in Dr. Wordy while your at it, he's due for his exicution date?! Goody, i get to kill two bird with one stone again, metathroicaly!"
 * Lord Shen: "Oh dear."
 * Icky: "Aw gees, and i was starting to like this dude."
 * Jerky: "Sorry for the short dinner. But something even better popped up! Exicution by yours truely."
 * The blue pony, some other archrelogical ponies involved, and a professor looking Ichthyornis are seen bound by chains.
 * Emperor Jerky appeared, his staff a blazing with an eere red glow.
 * Jerky: "My people! Today, we're gonna witness a double wammy?! The punishment of some alien spies, and the loony Dr. Wordy! Their sentence: Death, by being wiped away, from the face of exsisence?!"
 * The Pony: "NO?! NO! PLEASE NO?!"
 * Lord Shen: "Prehistoric one, we can't let this go on?!"
 * Icky: "I know, but how?"
 * Jerky: "Now, the aliens wasted their final words. But you, Dr. I think you earn at least a final say before i undo your creation of being real. Well, good doctor?"
 * Dr. Wordy said nothing, only gave a stare of disgust to Jerky.
 * Jerky: "..... Hpm, and people say i don't try to be reasonable. Oh well, it's time for the undoing, of your exsisence. Say bye-bye, suckers!"
 * Jerky pointed the spector at the chained souls.
 * Jerky: "But die happy knowing, you were brought down by the Emperor of the whole universe, Emperor Jerky. So adios, mucha-"
 * Pretty: Jerky! (Appears) What're you doing?!?
 * Jerky: I am executing these alien species for intruding on our planet without a code clearence.
 * Pretty: And why are you executing Dr. Wordy?
 * Jerky: I put him up for execution days ago.
 * Pretty: But you know the law! An Ichthyornis is not allowed to kill another Ichthyornis!
 * Jerky: What?!? D'OH, I HATE IT WHEN THE LAW GOES AGAINST ME!!! (Shrugs) Fine! I shall not execute him...I'll just let starvation do it for me.TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEON! (The Ichthyornis do that)