Oily on the Outside, Crazy on the Inside

Oily on the Outside, Crazy on the Inside is the 10th Episode of the 2nd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Crane's crazed great uncle Oily Joe always loved oil, but the prolonged exposure to it is making him extremely ill. Doctors arrive at the Dragon Temple to bring Oily Joe to Crane. The doctors tell Crane that Joe is on the verge of suffering greatly ever since his borned addiction from a long time ago when Crane was still a hacthling. The doctors also note that after examining his illness, they learn that Joe has been too contaminated for this oil obsession to continue. So they inform Crane that in order for Joe to be cured, he must not touch any more oil for the next 48 hours, or he will die. Now, Crane has to keep Joe as far away from oil as possible. But it will be difficult since oil can be found all around him. But what's worse is that Oily Joe has discovered that there is an oil factory 5 miles owned by Crane's brother Kevin's rivil Oil Tycoon Mr. Oilspill from the Temple, who hates Kevin's family for Kevin's ambitions to try and shut down all oil factories with renewable engry. He attempts to go after it, and now it's up to the Lodge, and the returning Kevin to save him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

Chapter 1: The Black Slime
Oil rig area. Cutaway
 * Workers are collecting Oil from the local dragon realms swamp, as a figure watches them from afar in his office.
 * ???: "Work faster! My industy isn't gonna keep itself alive you know!"
 * Suddenly, a strange looking crane is seen around the area. he stoles an oil barrol and runs away without notice!
 * ???: (Chuckles) Lovely oil!
 * ???: FASTER! FASTER, YOU SLOWPOKES, OR YOU DON'T GET YOUR RAISE!
 * Worker: We're going as fast as we can, Mr. Poozinhower.
 * Mr. Oilspill: What did I tell you about calling me that? I said call me 'Mr. Oilspill'!
 * Worker 2: Why 'Oilspill'? How about 'Oilsonhower'?
 * Mr. Oilspill: Because people would laugh at that, too. Now shut up and get the oil moving. (Suddenly a painful bird caw is heard) What the hell was that?
 * Worker: Maybe David got himself on fire again. Tell you something, it wasn't pretty last time.


 * David: (Prepares to pee on a fire)


 * Worker: David, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Have you seen Joe Dirt?


 * David: Never heard of it--(Gets caught on fire due to being covered in oil) AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Dubbed as Mr. Krabs) AAAH, MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!! MY UNDERWEAR IS ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!!!

Present
 * Worker: SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!


 * David: I'm right here, idiot!


 * Worker: Oh. Then I guess we should go see what happened. (Everyone heads over to see an oily crane with spilled oil barrels on him, and he is now stiff and pale)


 * Mr. Oilspill: OH, SHIT! Not Oily Joe again! He's been doing this since his accident! I told him to stop this mad craving for oil!


 * David: Uh, he doesn't look too good, sir! Should we get him to the hospital?

Cutaway
 * Mr. Oilspill: Yeah, maybe that'll teach him not to expose himself to so much oil all the time. I mean, the same thing happened to him during the Deepwater Horizon oilspill of 2010!

Present
 * Oily Joe: (Breaches from oily water in the oilspill while 'What a Wonderful World' plays, but when it gets to the 'What a Wonderful...') YAHHK! (Falls into the water, and sinks to the sea floor stiff and pale)
 * Fish: (Sniffs the essence of Oily Joe's oily feathers, and barfs off camera)
 * Mr. Oilspill: It took him a week to get out of that coma.
 * David: Well, he can't help it, sir! The oil he's been exposed to has made him mentally retarded to recognize the consequences of oil exposure.
 * Mr. Oilspill: I know, but he still needs to learn. Someone get him to a hospital! I think I know someone who might be able to help him.

Chapter 2: Oily Joe
Dragon Temple, 2 days later... Flashback Present
 * Icky: "Aw man, That forth of July was something. It's ashame that we're gonna have to start going back to work again."
 * Lord Shen: "Well here's what concerns me. Tri-Corn allowed some little twerp named Mr. Oilspill to get recently discovered untabbed oil in the dragon realm swamps. For some, odd reason, he reminds me of that little jerk Aliwishious O'Hare."
 * Icky: "The main villain from the modern Lorax movie?"
 * Lord Shen: Yeah, that's the one.
 * Kowalski: Why would she do that? Doesn't she know what oil can do to a poor soul's body? It's not pretty, I'll tell you that. I know this seagull friend of mine who was involved in the San Fransisco Bay oilspill of 2007. He lost his ability to fly, and got eaten by a wolf. It also got worse for his wife when she was forced to get kidney surgery after she got exposed to oil, but it failed, and she died. Their babies had to be put in an orphanage without the care of their parents.
 * Private: That's terrible!
 * Skipper: You think that's terrible, you should've seen how hard it was for Manfredi and Johnson to save a baby duckling from the Exxon Valdez oilspill of 1989. Manfredi had to have a kidney transplant, and Johnson had a liver transplant.
 * Boss Wolf: DAMN! Are you serious?
 * Skipper: As serious as a heart attack.
 * Crane: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about oil any longer, guys, really.
 * Po: Why not?
 * Crane: I don't wanna talk about it.
 * Gloria: Aw, c'mon, Crane, would you just tell us? I mean, really, what could happen? (Suddenly doctors burst into the room carrying a stretcher with a cloth covering the body)
 * Alex: What the--?
 * Doctor: (To Crane) Are you Crane?
 * Crane: Yes. What's this about? (The doctors remove the cloth to reveal a sick Oily Joe, and Crane gasps) JOE!
 * Tigress: Joe?
 * Icky: Joe Mama!
 * Mantis: Someone you know, Crane?
 * Crane looks horrifived!
 * Crane: "He's, (barely struggles to fight off man crying), he's, MY UNCLE?!"
 * Other Furious 5: "WHAT?!"
 * Po: "WHAT?!"
 * Shifu: "WHAT?!"
 * Shen: "WHAT?!"
 * Kaa: "WHAT?!"
 * Nostagilia Critc (camio): "(This video.)"
 * Icky: "Don't ya just love a Nostagila Critic Camio?"
 * Devon: "Not me for obvious reasons."
 * Lord Shen: "What happened to this old bird?"
 * Crane: Well, it's kind of hard to explain...
 * (Crane): Uncle Qiao got stuck in an oil spill in the lake he waded in when oil farmers accidentally spilled some. The oil made him mentally retarded and he craved tons and tons of oil. But this exposure to oil was affecting his health extremely.  No one in the Valley of Peace wanted to touch him anymore because of his condition, and Joe lost his only friends. I felt bad about him and decided to have a talk with him. However, it was then I realized that something bad had happened to him.
 * Crane: Excuse me, Uncle Qiao?
 * Oily Joe: Oh, hello, Crane! You have to try oil! Taste like rocks! (Dumps oil onto himself)
 * Crane: Oh my, God! That is disgusting! Uncle Qiao, do you have any idea what that will do to your body?!?
 * Oily Joe: Oil is black...just like black-eyed peas! (Laughs) It totally is.
 * Crane:...Dear God! You've been craving oil, haven't you? What happened to you after you fell into that oil spill?
 * Oily Joe: I feel good for first time in life. Oil is so much better than weed. Not that I know what that feels like.
 * Crane: Qiao, you do realize that no one is gonna want to come near you, right?
 * Oily Joe: DO NOT REMIND ME ABOUT THAT!!! I lost friends recently, and I hate it! I am lonely! No one wants to see me, nobody cares about me except my family! But by being reminded by you, I say you get out!
 * Crane: But Uncle Qiao--
 * Oily Joe: NOW! (Crane flies out) Who needs friends when I got something better? (Takes an oil bath) I feel like C-3PO! (Laughs) Droids drink oil cappuchino! (Laughs) Oh, God! Am I a droid, too? (Crane looks out the window, and feels sorrow)
 * (Crane): I realized that Qiao has become extremely obsessed with oil, and there was not much I could do about it. He wouldn't talk to me for years. He wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't just let him kill himself. Also, because no one liked him, and bullied him for his condition, he was violent and angry at people. Some people who had messed with him have been victims of being poisoned by his oil. He even reacts horribly to fire.
 * Oily Joe: (Seeing fire) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH! FIRE!!! HOT! NO WANT TO BE ROASTED TURKEY! (Laughs) Turkeys are birds like me! BUT HELL, I HATE FIRE!!!
 * (Crane): But despite all these mental issues he has been through throughout his lifetime, there was nothing I could do. I thought he would be this way for the rest of his life. I even saw him swimming in an oil-slicked ocean one day carrying a dead whale to shore, ripped open his cheeks, and eating his oil glands.
 * (Mr. Krabs): I think I'm gonna be sick!
 * (Crane): I still knew he had some good inside, and I knew he was gonna change...
 * Crane: But apparently he hasn't! I was fearful this day would come for a long time! Uncle Qiao is sick, and there's still nothing I can do! He's doomed to be this way forever!
 * Banzai: (Barfs for a full 30 seconds dubbed as Brian) Oh, boy! That kind of story is awful hard to swallow!
 * Shenzi: Hey, I know that oily story was gross, but that was way more than what the kids needed to see. And I'm sure your stomach would agree. (Ed laughs)
 * Banzai: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well laugh all you want, Sheki, but this is serious!
 * Ed the Otter: Amen.
 * Icky: "Boy i hate to think what would happen if Tri-corn meets this guy. I doubt she'll ever trust Oil factilitys ever again."
 * Lord Shen: "Well as much as i am not fond of that new facility, we can't let Tri-corn ever see him. I mean, Oil may be dangerious, but we're still tragicly away from the age of renewable engry and fuel. And she is already against Oil cause of the nortourious spills alone, can you igmainge her react if it also turn people into obcessive retards that are killing themselfs?"
 * Skipper: "Sadly, the white Peacock makes a point. Oil, as dangerious as it is, is still a needed reshorse. Some say it's the key to better the crap ecomity."
 * Cynder: "Well, the oil industy is trying hard to reduse dishasters... it's, ashame it's not well enough."
 * Sandy: "I don't wanna sound like a Paranoid Sammy, but, can we really trust Mr. Oilspill? I mean, his name alone sounds evil, and Shen mentioned earlier before he reminds him of the main villain from Lorax."
 * Crane: "Nows not the time to be worried on something like that. I have an uncle in need of help!"
 * Lord Shen: "Alchourse. We'll worry about Oilspill's sense of morrality another time. A life is at stake."
 * Savio: "Obviously."
 * Crane: "Anyway, is he gonna be ok?"
 * Doctor: I'm afraid not. His exposure to oil has poisoned his immune system, and now it is way too weak.
 * Skipper: Can he be cured?
 * Doctor: Well, there is some good news. He has been exposing himself to oil 24-7, so microscopic examination proves that he can indeed be cured. His cravings should wear off in only 2 days as long as he doesn't get exposed to the substance. That means no more oil besides his own. If he touches even a single drop of oil, he will die within seconds.
 * Private and Rico: Uhhgh!
 * Crane: Oh, no!
 * Oily Joe: (Wakes up from his coma, and gasps at the sight of Crane) CRANE! It's really great to see you! (Gets up and hugs him, getting him covered in his own oil)
 * Crane: Ugh! Uncle Qiao? There's something we gotta tell you.
 * Oily Joe: Ooh, what a nice place you have here...but it's a little rundown. (Tries flying, but his oiled-up wings make it impossible) Uhgh! Cannot fly!
 * Crane: Well, it's probably because of all that oil on your wings.
 * Oily Joe: Whales...I like whales! They have...oil chins. (Laughs)
 * Crane: (Sighs) Oh, dear.
 * Ignitus: (Comes in) Uh, what's going on here? Why is there oil dripping all over the place?
 * Spyro: Well, Crane's Uncle Qiao has came because he needs our help. He's had years of craving oil, and he cannot touch anymore of it, or he will die.
 * Cyril: Gross!
 * Oily Joe: Hello, Crane! Do you know what my daddy did? Poop. He pooped! Boop-de-doop doop boop. Ah, somebody left some poop in his pants. (Laughs)
 * Icky: (Laughs at Oily Joe's comment) That is so funny! Retards are the funniest people in history.
 * Crane: Icky!
 * Icky: I take it back!
 * Oily Joe: (Draws a picture of Crane on the wall with his oil) Looky, Crane! It's you! And you look...funny. (Laughs)
 * Doctor: Well, we'll leave you to take care of him for the next 2 days. Good luck. (The doctors leave)
 * Skipper: Well, it looks like we're on retard control, Lodgers. No oil for this guy for the next 48 hours.
 * Oily Joe: Who wants to have french fries? I got the olive oil! (Laughs)
 * Crane: Uh, Uncle Qiao? Olive oil is not really oil. It's just animal fats and plant oils.
 * Oily Joe: AWW!...But still, I LIKE IT!
 * Skipper: RETRIEVE THAT OLIVE OIL! We don't know if that will account for oil!
 * Kowalski: (Uses his Extend-o-Grab to grab the olive oil from Oily Joe, and lock it and other oils like cooking oil, sunflower oil, and corn oil into a counter) Safe and sound.
 * Oily Joe: NO! This is a matter of life and death germs!
 * Private: Joe, the doctor said no oil for the next 48 hours. If you touch another drop, you'll die!
 * Oily Joe: Oh, please, I will recover. Oil is wonderful!
 * Skipper: (Slaps him in the beak) GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT, YOU RETARDED CRANE!!! YOU...WILL DIE...IF YOU...TOUCH ANYMORE...OIL!!! GOT THAT?!?
 * Oily Joe: Alligators...and crocodiles...are the same thing! (Laughs) They totally are!
 * Skipper: (Shrugs) This crane is insane in the membrane!
 * Kowalski: Nice alliteration, Skipper, but we still have a lot of work to do.
 * Oily Joe: Go on, do your work. I'm gonna be busy looking for oily refreshment.
 * Crane: (Sighs) This won't be easy.

Chapter 3: Stay Away From The Oil!
Van room. Cutaway A few minutes later... Present Temple Living Room Crane's Room
 * Boss Wolf and some other wolfs are repairing the Van.
 * Boss Wolf: "Shen ordered us to make sure this van is in tip-top shape, so let's fix it up boys."
 * Wolf: "Wow. How extreme was the last mission it went on?"
 * Boss Wolf: "Actselly, the local swamp kids took it to a joyride..... again..... and crashed.... again."
 * Wolf: Uggh, you mean the Swamp Marshies? I hate those kids! I hope their parents know how to take care of them nowadays! Especially after what they did to our van last time.
 * Frog Child: What are we gonna do, guys? I'm bored!
 * Lizard Child: I know! Let's go swimming in the swamp and see how long we can hold our breath underwater!
 * Turtle Child: I don't think that's a great idea, Gody. Especially after we almost got eaten by Old Man Gator last month.
 * Gody: Oh...well, how about we go tree swinging and act like Tarzan.
 * Frog Child: No, that's out. We were sent to jail for public nudity after our loincloths were ripped off by a branch.
 * Gody: Says the frog with no pants on!
 * Frog: WHY YOU LITTLE--?!?
 * Turtle Child: Relax, guys! We'll think of something...(Gasps) I know! Let's take the Lodger's van out for a wheelie.
 * Gody: That is a fantastic idea, Shelbon! Let's do it!!!
 * Frog Child: (The car is totaled) I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!
 * Gody: Okay, let's not panic! Nobody saw it, and they WON'T see it! We'll forget this ever happened! Nobody will ever know!
 * Shelbon: It was still awesome, though, right?
 * Gody: Totally! (All give high-fives)
 * Boss Wolf: "We found them out eventally thanks to the van's hidden servalence system."
 * Wolf: When I see those kids again, they'll be walking funny for a week. Now, have we got the equipment we need to fix this wreck?
 * Boss Wolf: Yes. We got tools, a new fuel and oil supply--
 * Oily Joe: (From distance) OOOOIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!
 * Wolf: You HAD to say it, didn't you?
 * Boss Wolf; JUST HIDE THE BLACK SHIT!!! (They do that)
 * Oily Joe: (Jumps through a window, and he falls down the roof, and crashes, unable to fly)...Aw, coal nuggets, still can't fly! Anyway, WHERE'S THE OIL?!?
 * Wolf: Get out of here, you glob of retard! We have a van to fix here!
 * Wolf 2: Since when did Crane get all oily like that?
 * Wolf 3: "No, that's Crane's crazy Oil obcessed Uncle."
 * Oily Joe: I NEED OIL!!! GIMME THE OIL!!! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!!
 * Boss Wolf: Dude, do you have a death wish? You can't have this stuff!
 * Oily Joe: BUT I LOVE OIL!!! I WANT OIL!!! GIVE ME OIL!!!
 * Boss Wolf: Someone get rid of this bird before he soils my fur!
 * Wolf: "But that would mean, having to touch him."
 * Wolf 4: "Better yet, i got an idea! (Brings out some Olive Oil) Hey, i got Olive oil fresh from olives!"
 * Wolf 4 runs away as Oily Joe chased him!
 * Boss Wolf: Blech! That was disgusting. Now let's fix this van up before another wrong-doing kicks into gear.
 * Oily Joe: Hey, everyone! Watch me! (Holds nose, honks, and oil spews out of his ears) (Laughs) My ears go potty!
 * Iago: (Scoffs, and laughs) THAT is funny!
 * Tigress: Gross!
 * Lord Shen: (Comes in, and slips on the oil, and crashes through a wall with the hole in the shape of Lord Shen) OW!
 * SpongeBob: Oh my God! Lord Shen, are you okay?
 * Lord Shen: No! That soiled bird is getting stabbed for this!
 * Po: Lord Shen, I don't think that's necessary!
 * Oily Joe: (Laughs) Panda fat! You look like Jupiter! (Laughs) And belly button is The Red Spot.
 * Po: UHGH! Why I never! How could you EVER be Crane's uncle?!
 * Mantis: "He's on Crane's mother side."
 * Icky: "Oh you wanna know something weird? Crane's mother is actselly canon in Legends of Awesomeness now."
 * Po: "Oh yeah. I remember that episdoe."
 * Lord Shen: "Speaking of this, where is Crane?"
 * Po: "Something about calling his family, and/or to man cry."
 * Lord Shen: "Calling his family?"
 * Tigress: "Well, this is a family matter, so he desevres the need to cope with those he cares for."
 * Crane: (On phone) And the doctor said he cannot touch anymore oil for 48 hours, or he'll die.
 * Yan Fan: Good Golly, you can't be serious!
 * Crane: "Trust me, i never joke about this. This isn't even something Icky would joke about. We couldn't even let him joke about a certain dishastor in New York in our Oliver and Company crossover. How am i gonna tell Qu Dan. It's bad enough his new career as a musicion is on a slow start, but to now tell him about Uncle? He's gonna freak! Uncle Joe was the reason why he wanted to make renewable engry and replace Oil! He blames Oil for what it done to uncle!"
 * Yan Fan: Well, this is terrible. My brother was always getting himself soaked in oil, but I never thought I'd see the day when he would get his immune system weakened by all this oil. Just make sure he doesn't touch anymore oil. I don't think I would want another heart attack. And as for Qu Dan, I suggest he should know at a later time.
 * Crane: Thanks for the advice, mom. I appreciate it.
 * Yan Fan: Your welcome, sweetheart. I know you can pull it off after you saved me from those invisible wolves. Anyway, I gotta go. I love you, bye! (Hangs up)
 * Crane: I wonder how she gained access to a phone. Then again, Anicent Greese i heard has now gained bathroom plumbing thanks to more mordern worlds, so there's that possibility. Now, where was i? Oh yeah. Man crying.
 * Crane flopped to the floor and cried quietly to himself.
 * Icky: (Overhearing Crane) Wow, he's really taking this incident real hard.
 * Shifu: Well, at least this doesn't involve turning the Temple into an inn.
 * Po: Yeah, that was a real killer.
 * Viper: Well, you heard him, guys. We have to continue keeping Oily Joe safe. We only have 44 hours left.
 * They were unkowingly watched by a pigion.
 * The Pigien flew away.

Chapter 4: Mr. Oilspill
The Oil rig office. The commercel! Commercel ends.
 * A Gecko and a Bull Frog stood in front of Mr. Oilspill, who was staring disintrestly at them.
 * Gecko: "Mr. Oilspill, we have an idea on how we can get people to start liking oil again!"
 * Bull Frog: "Yeah, we made a commercel, Promoting a newer, sciencetificly improved, motor oil, actselly evermentally friendly!"
 * Gecko: "Obsevred!"
 * The Gecko pressed a button!
 * A charming horse stood before the camera.
 * Horse: "How many of you people heard the accsidents involving Oil? the spills, the creatures victimised, and the fact it's not renewable? Well, what if i told you, we cemicaly improved Fozzal fuel? Cause hey, if small mammels evolved after dinosaurs went extinct, why not oil? Who said Oil can't be renewed? Well, a man named Mr. Oilspill, has come to challnage that throey. Our top sciencetists, have combined oil, with the stuff that is found in Dragon Realm gems. There's something in the gems that can make anything renewable. Why, even Oil. Oil became a renewable reshorse thanks to this discovery. And here's what we also found out."
 * the Horse walks torwords some cute baby seals next to a vat of the "Renewed" oil. the Horse kicks it, and the oil covers them!
 * but instead of making them sick, the oil instead makes the baby seals even stronger!
 * Horse: "It doesn't kill the animals. and You know what they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. it's eco friendly, and it makes even a normally non-eco friendly car into the everments most bestest friend in the world. Cause all cars should be fueled only by "Dragon Oil". It is what the future needs. The evolution of Oil has begun baby. and we're looking at a cleaner, united universe. Oh yeah."
 * Bull Frog: "Well sir, what do you think?"
 * Mr. Oilspill sighed.
 * Mr. Oilspill: "We been over this. as much i DO believe, mind you, i do believe you guys on this, that the power gems process what we need to redeem the oil industry's name, and my name as well, and it does sound great that it's eviomentally friendly, but, ffffff, those gems are just, a teeny tiny off-limits. The dragons are powered by those things as long as they remained undisturbed. Tri-corn made it painfully clear to not to touch those things."
 * Gecko: "But sir, if you could just get her permission to do this, then-"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "And that's another thing, if the other oil companies hear of this, THEY'LL want a piece of the action too, and then mining in the power gem mines will begin, and bam, the dragons are powerless! Spyro and Cynder are dragon realm dragons, not to mention among the strongest of the lougers, and worse, we would ending benifiting no one, but the forces of evil, and then, THE CONTROVERSITY OF OIL WORSENS?!"
 * Bull Frog: "But what if, we mass produce the oil with the spiecal power of the power gems ALREADY inside?"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Meaning?"
 * Bull Frog: Meaning we get only one gem, and somehow begin duplicating it AND it's power? It's fulproof. We'll have an endless supply of those gems' power, and no one, not even Tricorn, will be pissed at us.
 * Mr. Oilspill: THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP! That's stealing, Dr. Bullwinkle! And we all know what stealing leads to. I could lose my company, my life, and my fortune! Then I'll lose my chance of proving that I am better than that gangster crane tycoon who wanted to make Equestria a more civilized place! Sure, his plan to make a renewable power source there had failed with his silly 'juronium', which was made by melting precious stones, but I wanna prove that he is nothing but a whimp. I am Mr. Kronton Ramone Oilspill! The best business man of the century!
 * Gecko: So what are you saying?
 * Mr. Oilspill: I'm saying that just taking and duplicating renewable power like that is just wrong. I am a man of morals.
 * Gecko: "That's strange coming from somebody to covers up a few, "accsidents" every now and again."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Hey, that's a totally differnet ballgame guys! (Sighs), look, you guys mean well, i know that by heart, it's just that, the controversy for oil, it not only exsit, but it's like, the world's nastiest tape worm for the oil industry, with an added case of diabities! and do you what happens, if you feed diabeitus, while having a tape worm infection?"
 * Dr. Bullwinkle: Yeah, I know it's not pretty.
 * Mr. Oilspill: My point being that I cannot duplicate this power without permission from Tricorn. And we all know what her answer will be.
 * Gecko: "She would most likely say, no?"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "What, do you think?"
 * Gecko: Then what do YOU suggest, Mr. Oily Smartass?
 * Mr. Oilspill: "I would've gone, without, the name calling."
 * Dr. Bullwinkle: "Mr. Oilspill, be reasonable. No good company is not without being willing to take a few risks. Think about about what the world would be like if we do this, and everything turned out alright!"
 * Mr. Oilspill thinks about it.
 * Mr. Oilspill: "It makes me wonder...."
 * Dr. Bullwinkle: "Think about it sir, this goes right, the controversity dies."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "But baby seals are one thing. But what about sentient beings? What it will do to them and what are the effects? Unless we get a legit test subject, i can't even agree to this."
 * A Rhino and Ox bodyguard enter the room, making the Gecko and Bullwinkle tremble!
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Boys, i told you guys not while i am in a meeting?!"
 * Rhino: "But boss, the Pigien came back. It's urgent."
 * Mr. Oilspill: What is it, then? Can't you see I'm in the middle of searching for a resourceful breakthrough?
 * Ox: He says that Oily Joe has been put in the hands of the Shell Lodge Squad.
 * Mr. Oilspill: Really? And, why should i care?
 * Dr. Bullwinkle: "Well, there's been claims that, oil made Oily Joe mentally retarded."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "WHAT?!"
 * Dr. Bullwinkle: "Why yes, and if Tri-corn, who appearently is the only one who doesn't know about this, does know about it.... Well, you know your Diabeites Tape worm talk."
 * Gecko: Well, sounds like you found yourself a test subject, sir.
 * Mr. Oilspill: Indeed I have, Dr. Gayne. Indeed I have. Oh but wait, the lougers aren't gonna openly give him to me! And what's worse, i heard that Master Crane is related to one of my biggest Enemies, Kevin! The Lougers would hate me cause Kevin hates me!
 * Dr. Gayne: "Well, maybe, if you were make them understand, and that, maybe, you would offer a cure? I mean, if the renewed oil could, and it will, cure Oily Joe of being, well, obcessed with Oil, then, it'll prove that it will be benifital in a long run, and Tri-corn will have to approve cause she will be convinced on how it treated Mr. Joe!"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "I don't know guys, it might be risky."
 * Dr. Gayne: "No businessman is ever successful if he didn't took a risk!"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Yes.... That was always Grandpa's motto. Rest that old soul of his....."
 * silence.
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Ok boys, if anyone's gonna slay the beast that is the oil industry's controversy, it's gonna have to be us! (Presses a button) Marline, arrange a meeting with the lougers."
 * Marlene (Fox): Yes, Mr. Oilspill. Right away.

Chapter 5: Oily Joe Goes Insane
Louger temple. outside. Inside Crane's Room
 * Icky: "Wow, that oily crane is hard work."
 * Lord Shen: "Even the other members of the 5 are tired out trying to prevent him from going back to the garage. I'm glad we were able to make speical procautions for his stay."
 * Iago: "And thank goodness that the garage is the only shorse of oil here. And i don't think he remembers anything about the place he got the oil from that got him here in the first place."
 * A wolf appeared.
 * Wolf: "Report: A limosene with a Rhino and an Ox in black suits appeared at the temple grounds."
 * Lord Shen: "Get the Square one, we'll get to the bottom of this."
 * The lougers are standing where the limosene stands. The Rhino and Ox stood at the cardoor side. The Rhino opened it, and Mr. Oilspill came out.
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Hello Shell Louge Squad, The Name's Mr. Oilspill, Oil Tycoon Extrodenaire"
 * Tigress: "We know who you are."
 * Icky: "Yeah, your our new neighber thanks to Tri-corn not having her head screwed on tight."
 * Crane is angry at his presence.
 * Crane: "What do you want, beach poisioner? Isn't there like, a colany of penguins for you to desimate?"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Guys, guys! Just because i'm an Oil Tycoon, doesn't mean i'm an evil or greedy man. In fact, i am extremely concern for the everment! I'm Eco incarnet."
 * Crane: "THEN EXPLAIN WHY YOUR NAMED AFTER A MAN-MADE EVIOMENTAL DISHASTER?!"
 * Shifu: "Crane, calm yourself. He is not considered an enemy like what we're acostom to face, though we not enjoy what he's involved in."
 * Icky: "Besides, remember that he's Tri-corn protacted."
 * Crane: "Sorry Master Shifu."
 * Po: "But out of healthy coriousty, why are you calling yourself "Mr. Oilspill"? That makes you sound like an eviomental villain, it, doesn't really sound like the name of someone who cares about the world we live in."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Yeah, it's because my real name is too stupidly laughable that i can't speak of it in public."
 * Skipper: "I don't buy it. Tell us your REAL name?"
 * Mr. Oilspill: You promise not to laugh?
 * Crane: I don't find most things funny.
 * Mr. Oilspill: Well, my real last name is Poozinhower.
 * Private: (Laughs)
 * Skipper: Don't mind him, Mr. Oilspill. Now what is it you want?
 * Mr. Oilspill: "It has come to my attention from, speical shorses that, there is a retarded old oil obcessed crane? You see, i was the one who had him sent to the hospital after he was stealing oil and got himself sick."
 * Icky: "Aw fudge! You mean he got it from you?"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Correction, he stoled it from me. He's been doing it for awhile now ever since we opened up shop here in this musquio playground. He must've followed us after he had to close down the rigs after complaints from villagers caused the leaders there to boot me out. Believe me when i say, it REALLY pains me the oil made him like this, and would like to offer to help."
 * Kowalski: You want to help us cure Oily Joe?
 * Mr. Oilspill: Of course. I have this new renewable resource that has been capable of healing baby seals what were exposed to an oil spill.
 * Private: Aww!
 * Kowalski: And you're certain this 'resource' will heal Oily Joe?
 * Mr. Oilspill: I don't know for sure, but if it does, it will be an amazing breakthrough.
 * Private: Wow, he sure is helpful--(Skipper slaps him)
 * Skipper: I wasn't born yesterday! If I was, I'd be in diapers. Which apparently I'm not. But still, I don't trust you!
 * Spyro: I agree. We underestimated a few people before who betrayed us such as Captain Rourke. Not to mention I sense something about you. Is there something you aren't telling us, Mr. Oilspill?
 * Mr. Oilspill: "What're you talking about? No seriously, what IS he talking about?"
 * Spyro: "I understand your confusion, alot of people tend to be unaware of this, but i am among those that are able to sense moral unbalence in others."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "...... Your, one of the weird ones, are you?"
 * Kolwalski: "Typical modern human respondse, first meeting with someone with supernatrol capabilies, assumes the supernatorl individual is-"
 * Kolwalski brings a Coo-coo clock.
 * Clock: "Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo!"
 * Mr. Oilspill: "I uh, (chuckles), had been told you guys tend to be random at times."
 * Cynder: "I'm sorry sir, but some of us expect you have an uneasy presence in you. I can sense things wrong with you. It feels like the presence of someone so consumed with fear of something greater then you are, you became desperate."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Guys, seriously! I am an honest guy! I mean, come on! Your kinda freaking me out here!"
 * Spyro: "I can sense that, but there's also something else about you."
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Ok, your making me uncomfertable here!? Do you want my help with this guy or not?!"
 * Skipper: "Depends: What does a door slammed at your face mean to you?"
 * SLAM!
 * Mr. Oilspill suddenlhy found himself with the door closed at him.
 * Mr. Oilspill: "Aw nuts. I know this wasn't gonna work, but this wasn't a seneirio i half-predicted. Come on boys, we're heading back to the rigs."
 * Skipper: That oil trycoon Poozinhower thinks he can just come here and ask for Oily Joe? If you ask me, he's as stupid as Oily Joe.
 * Oily Joe: I like corn, and I like oil. But I do NOT like corn oil, WEIRD!
 * Skipper: Mr. Oilspill cannot be trusted, Lodgers. Something's not right about this guy.
 * Brandy: I agree. We cannot expose Oily Joe to anymore oil. He'll target any oil he sees. ANY OIL!
 * Oily Joe: (Burps out an oil bubble) Ohh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! My insides are oily! (Burps a dozen more oil bubbles)
 * Icky: "Ok, at first he was funny, but his humor just turned disgusting real quick."
 * Crane: "I'm gonna have to warn Kevin. This is bad if his business rival has an interest in Joe."
 * Lord Shen: "From what i understood, your brother left the business world. And, according to Tman, he went to persue a career as a musician now."
 * Crane: "Well, this is a HUGE family matter to me! I am not sure i know what that midget wants with my uncle, and i don't think i desire to know! Kevin needs to know! If anyone can be of any true help to us, it's someone who actselly tried to make renewable energy! Maybe, he could also warn us about what's really going on in Oilspill's mind!"
 * Oily Joe: Mr. Oilspill? That sounds like...he has...OIIIIILLLLL!!!
 * Skipper: (Grabs Joe by the leg) Don't you DARE, you greasy son of a retard!
 * Oily Joe: But I like oil...(Scoffs, and laughs hard) BUTTS! They make poopie! Yes, they do! (Laughs hard) They even make liquid poo when in diarrhea. (Laughs)
 * Icky: (Bursts out laughing)
 * Viper: That is just disgusting!
 * Oily Joe: Butts belong on toilets! (Laughs) That's funny! Everyone has a butt! (Laughs) Wait a moment, OOOOIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!! (Tries to catch Mr. Oilspill, but the entire Lodge grabs a hold of him)
 * Lord Shen: "Hold him long enough until Mr. Oilspill departs from the area."
 * Oilspill's limoscene leaves the area.
 * Oily Joe: "Aw....."
 * Lord Shen: "Long leg one, make the call to your brother, NOW!"
 * Crane: "Ok, just keep uncle calm until i can get Kevin here."
 * Oily Joe: I feel sick. (Barfs out oil bubbles) Oh, (Laughs) that's fun!
 * Crane: (On phone) I already informed mother about Uncle Qiao's condition. My mother told me not to tell you for a while, but now, I have no choice.
 * Kevin: I can't believe this! I just can't! Uncle Qiao has gone mad! What exactly happened to him?
 * Crane: The doctor said that his immune system has been weakened, and we needed to keep him away from anymore oil for 48 hours or he would die within seconds. It's already been 7 hours, and we're still having trouble keeping him safe. It gets worse, he got the oil from... Oilspill. Worser still, He claims he wants to "Help Oily Joe"! We're not sure if that's true or a trick!
 * Kevin: "Well, i can say for sure. Ironicly for an oil tycoon, he does care for the evioment, and it not money obcessed. And i RARELY speak something nice about oil tycoons! But, i also can't help to feel he's always hiding something, like, a secret he's afraid to let out. He was always fearful of the controversity on Oil. He compaired it like having a tape worm with a side of diabeitus."
 * Crane: "We need your help Kevin. You know alot about engry."
 * Kevin: "Well, even though i am a musicion these days, i know a thing or too. Now, i heard this rumor about a speical kind of gem that can make even oil renewable, but they're incredably rare and dragon culture highly reguards them to the point it's use is highly forbidden. They're commenly refered to as "Power Gems". I tried to ask permission from Tri-corn once, but she just said no to me, so i dropped any future attempts. It's said that any fuel blessed by a power gem can cure even the most extreme addiction, it's every renewable, and it's really eco friendly."
 * Crane: "Aw fudge! The one only cure to help my uncle, and it's outlawed by Tri-corn! I mean, i know why, power gems power dragons as long as they're not disturbed, but, this is a huge problem!"
 * Kevin: "Well, i guess all we can do is just keep uncle from-"
 * BLAM! CLUTTER!
 * Lord Shen: "BLOODY HELL, HE BURSTED THROUGH THE WALLS LIKE A BATTERING RAM?!"
 * Crane: "There isn't much time! Hurry!"

Chapter 6: Oily Joe Escapes
Outside the Temple
 * Oily Joe was laughing retardingly as he was running really fast!
 * Oily Joe: MUST HAVE OIL!!! I MUST HAVE IT!!! (Runs straight for Mr. Oilspill's limo) HERE I COME, MR. POOZINHOWER! (Scoffs) Poo! Poo is...poo-shaped! (Laughs) That's funny! BUT I NEED OIL!!!!
 * Guy in Limosine: Uh, sir? Who's that running straight at us? (Mr. Oilspill sees Oily Joe)
 * Mr. Oilspill: Whoa boy! It's Oily Joe. He must want me to help him.
 * Oily Joe: OOOOIIIIIILLLLLL!!!
 * Mr. Oilspill:...Or maybe HE WANTS MY OIL!!! FLOOR IT! (The limo takes off at full speed)
 * Oily Joe: Crap nuggets! (Scoffs) Crap is poo. Just like shit. (Gasps) Ooh, I just said a bad word!--(Lord Shen glides right towards him) Ooh, pretty birdy--(Lord Shen pounces on him)
 * Lord Shen: Stop right there, oil-beak! You're not touching anymore oil for the next 41 hours!
 * Oily Joe: No! NO! I LOVE MY OIL! I MUST HAVE IT!!! (Licks Lord Shen with his oily saliva, causing him to let him go in disgust)
 * Lord Shen: OH, GROSS!!! YOUR SALIVA IS OILY, TOO?!? NASTY!!!
 * Oily Joe: OOOIIIIIILLLLL!!! (Runs like a retard towards Mr. Oilspill's limo)
 * Kowalski: GET HIM!
 * Th lougers chase after Oily Joe!
 * Oily Joe: I MUST HAVE OIL! (Suddenly, falls off of cliff and cannot fly) WHOA! WHOA! I STILL CANNOT FLY!!! AARRGH! (Falls)
 * Crane: UNCLE QIAO!!! (Flies down to Oily Joe, and grabs him by the leg) Got'cha! (Suddenly, Oily Joe slips out of his grasp due to his oily body) Oh, dear!
 * Oily Joe: AAARRRGGGHHH! Huh? (Realizes he's falling straight towards an oil tower) OIL!!! FINALLY!!! (The oil tower spews oil towards Oily Joe, but Crane pushes him out of the way just in time) AWW!!!
 * Crane: That was a close o--(Gets sprayed on with oil) URRPPH!
 * Oily Joe: AARRRGGHH! (Lord Shen glides up towards Oiyl Joe, and catches him, landing safely)
 * Lord Shen: No more nonsense, Joe! You're not touching anymore oil!