Dinner with Squirrels

SpongeBob is finally invited to spend time with Sandy's family and old friends, as he has been looking forward to staying in her homeland for a long time now, albeit their half-breakup means that they are trying to hide their relationship and wait for the right moment, and at the very first moment, after causing an incident en route to Texas, he is afraid to screw up somehow. Regardless of some awkward moments and mishaps, he has a great time with Sandy's family and friends, along with other acquaintances including Sheriff Concord the raccoon sheriff from Bride of a Frog Mutant, Sandy's censi whom her mother is training under, Cowfish Craig (From a SpongeBob computer game) who visits Trinity Bay where he and Sandy met for a family reunion, Sandy's black-tailed jackrabbit enemy and later friend Rusty Crockett, a shy Ice Age 4 Louis-like pocket gopher whom Sandy rescued from a hawk outlaw named Lou, a cactus mouse and fangirl of Sandy named Jessie, Sandy's swimming instructor American mink Jack Wetter, a crow on par with Jeremy from Secret of NIMH named Clint, a robin named Rob, Sandy's currently-elderly pre-Bikini Bottom roadrunner steed Chestnut which might be asking for a dramatic and sad scene, and Dandy (whom SpongeBob still shows dis-satisfaction with because of prior dating history and even gets into a bitter overreacting misunderstanding) and bonds are nevertheless made, and SpongeBob gets to understand much of Sandy's culture outside of what she explained before, and often times ended up embarrassing her for her moments in episodes like Texas, Pressure, Chimps Ahoy, Atlantis Squarepantis, Karate Island, Someone's In The Kitchen With Sandy, and Kenny the Cat, all while explaining how he fell in love with her, as his first female friend who taught him a lot about the world outside his home, and how seeing her in just her helmet underwater made him see her as a new Sandy, which instantly turned into love later on. However, past faces from Sandy's hometown show up in the form of the troublesome bullies Greasy, Hairy, Skins and Bosco, who are back for trouble again, and intent on making SpongeBob look like an even bigger fool than he technically already is, especially after events like the high-school reunion, hoping to turn Sandy against him, one time by blackmailing what he likes about her, and another by framing him for something he didn't do, and later on getting help from a gray pig bandit lord named Hog Blank in a subterranean water-ridden land near Lake Livingston at Point Blank called Unlively Territory that even Sandy was forbidden to go to even in the year she got her scientist career, hoping that they can actually outsmart a smart squirrel like Sandy, and avoid the merciless poundings of karma.

Material
(Song To Be Sung By Rob, And Later With Sandy...)

(Song To Be Sung By Sandy)

(Suspense Music)

(Battle Themes)
 * (Stewart Battle Theme)
 * (Clinch Battle Theme)
 * (Hunter Battle Theme)

(An Unknown Song By Sandy, SpongeBob: Oh, boy, another song. Maybe it'll make me cry, maybe it'll make me aroused. Who knows?)

Meeting Tina
Old Little Debbie's Factory
 * SpongeBob: (He, Sandy, Dandy, and Ammermann arrived there)... She lives in a Little Debby Factory?
 * Dandy: One that has been abandoned due to some crazy over-budget caused by a flood of chocolate and sweets. As I said before, Tina's got quite a sweet tooth. And it kinda makes her prone to the personality I fell in love with.
 * Sandy:... Seems a little unhealthy.
 * Dandy: Oh, just because she loves sweets, she's on a balanced diet. Trust me, when you meet her, she'll be glad you came. (They entered as there was an entire reserve of sweets such as Nutty Bars, Reeses Candies, Cosmic Brownies, Nutter Butters, Pecan Rolls, Cookies, M&Ms of all kinds, Honey Buns, Donuts, and any product-placed sweet)...
 * SpongeBob:... WHOA! Tina seems to love this stuff. How long has she had this stuff?
 * Dandy: Years. And she found ways to expand their expiration date so she won't have to worry about surplus issues. She only eats them on special occasions.
 * Sandy: (Giggles) And I'd normally argue about chocolate being poisonous to animals, if this wasn't operating on cartoon logic. (Eats a few M&Ms) MMMM! Chocolate! Mighty tasty!
 * ???: I'll say! (Long giggles were heard as Dandy was enamored, as an Eastern gray squirrel appeared)
 * Tina: Hey, Dandy! You and your friends came in no time at all. (Giggles) Hey, Sandy!
 * SpongeBob:... WOW! Sandy, she looks like you, only... Prettier.
 * Sandy: I know.
 * Tina: (Blushes) Oh, sometimes, my beauty can get quite infectious. Mommy said so. (Giggles)
 * SpongeBob:... I kinda like her laugh.
 * Sandy: Yeah, it's more glorified than mine.
 * Tina: (Giggles) Don't flatter me. You'll embarrass me that way.
 * Dandy: So... Tina, If we're done here, care to explain what you do in your spare time?
 * Tina: Oh, sure! But why explain when I can show ya?
 * Sandy: "Oh is that a bet?"
 * Tina: You bet your cute little sandy cheeks! (Giggles) Get it? (She laughs) BEHOOOOOOLD!! (She shows them all she ever did, in her own cool-looking customary lab)
 * SpongeBob: (He and Sandy's jaws dropped)
 * Dandy: Amazing, isn't it? Of course I had a little help. When it comes to how smart she is, anything with her is possible.
 * Tina: Rootin-tootin right! There's no limit to what I can do, and it's practically my motto! (She sung this as she showed off all the creative technology she built, Dandy dancing along, and Sandy and SpongeBob being taken back by what she made.)
 * Tina: (She was done as Dandy applauded and Sandy and SpongeBob were blown away)
 * Sandy:... Why haven't I been around HER before?
 * SpongeBob: And how did she even PAY for all this?!?
 * Dandy: When she says anything is possible, it practically means she's unpredictable.
 * Tina: (Giggles) And my surprises seem to impress a LOT! (She jumped up to Dandy)
 * Dandy: And yeah, she's more than a giggly, sweet-toothed, bubbly girl. She's MORE than a good replacement for Sandy. Isn't that right, Tini?
 * Tiny: (Giggles) You know it! (They passionately kissed as their tails twitched hyperactively)
 * SpongeBob: (Laughs) I like it when your tail twitches in particular.
 * Sandy: We're squirrels. They do that a lot. They're really sensitive places sometimes.
 * Tina: (They separated) So, what'd you come here for?
 * Dandy: Well, Sandy brought SpongeBob to spend a week in Texas.
 * Tina:... I happen to have heard she spent time with a sponge. You even say he likes you. Maybe even a little... TOO much!
 * SpongeBob: (Chuckles) I'm sure that's a teensy-bit exaggerated.
 * Tina: (Giggles) Nopesy! That's what he said. He said you were jealous of him, too.
 * SpongeBob: Look, just a phase, that's all. I've loved her for a while, but I wasn't able to admit it until one time when we rescued a kid from the Rescuers' world. Hell, I had to do it since this Tasmanian tiger was enamored with her, too.
 * Tina:... I take it this thylacine is-
 * Sandy: Scientifically cloned, yes. Of people desperate to bring back the extinct thylacine, too.
 * Tina: Oh, believe me, I've got blueprints into building a device that might get that on the ground.
 * SpongeBob:... Do you share these?
 * Dandy: She prefers to wait. She's got a little showoff phase in her, and she wishes to introduce them when they are good enough to be patented and commercialized.
 * Tina: Yepsy. (Eats a few M&Ms) And funny thing, science ain't my only expertise. Check THIS out! (She throws M&Ms across the area, bouncing them across as she managed to eat them with skills similar to Sandy's)... Ta-Da!
 * SpongeBob:... That... Was... AWESOME!!
 * Tina: Yep. Sandy's mother taught me a thing or two about karate. Sometimes people come to steal my stuff, and I ain't got time for that. And I take time burning the carbs and fats I get from my sweets by training, fighting crime in spare time, and doing parkour. Best way to balance out a diet of sweets.
 * SpongeBob: Sounds like your life is pretty exciting.
 * Tina: Yep. I practically got everything, INCLUDING someone to share it with. (She kissed Dandy)

Sandy's Old Roadrunner
Sandy's Home Flashback. Second Part. Flashback ends.
 * Sandy: (They entered the roadrunner pen)... Well, hey, Faust! (Randy's roadrunner Faust meeped the MLP theme song)...
 * SpongeBob:... (Scoffs) Did Randy really-
 * Sandy: Yes. Yes he did. (Skippy and Fairchild the roadrunners of her parents were seen)... Yeah, yeah, it's good to see you too. (She pets them)
 * SpongeBob:... I have to ask, Sandy... Don't YOU have a roadrunner?
 * Sandy: Yes, actually. The last few times I came here, I said hi to good ol' Chestnut. He's been my noble steed since I was 10. I hope he'll be happy to see- (They came in to see something shocking as Chestnut the roadrunner was very elderly, bald in several places, blid in one eye, and is showing signs of fatal aging)...
 * SpongeBob:... Wow!... Not to be the Demolition Doofus insensitive idiot, but he's WAAAAY past his prime.
 * Sandy:... Chestnut! (Chestnut saw her and slowly waddled to her as she came to pet him, the two showing love)... Oh, Chestnut!... I am so sorry.
 * SpongeBob:... How old is it, exactly?
 * Sandy: 23. I'd normally argue about their lifespan being 7 to 8 years, if this wasn't a world of cartoon logic. It seems... Chestnut has indeed aged past his prime. I just... Never expected it to happen so soon.
 * SpongeBob: Well... I'm sure he's meant a lot to you. At least he got to meet you one last time. (Chestnut cuddled her as she giggled a bit)
 * Sandy: Yeah, I didn't forget about you, Chestnut! Who's a precious birdy? Who's a precious birdy? You are! (The roadrunner meeped in affection until it coughed)... (It looked at SpongeBob)... I think he wants to meet you.
 * SpongeBob:... I'm... A little iffy. I, do not have a prior fund exspearience of birds in this world.
 * Spongebob, Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Krabs were attacked by the Seagull puppets.
 * Spongebob and the gang were attacked by the pelicans!
 * Spongebob: "And I don't even want to talk about the birds in otherwordly terms that aren't our friends.
 * Sandy: Please, SpongeBob? At least let him know I have a great life now that he's going to that... (Sounding a little torn up)... 4-lane highway in the sky.
 * SpongeBob:... Sandy? Are you okay?
 * Sandy:... (Sucks it up)... Yes. Right as rain. (She shed a small tear)...
 * SpongeBob:... (Sighs) Alright, I'll try. (He softly approached Chestnut)... Hey... Chestnut... (Chestnut pecked at him playfully) Ooh!...That hurt a bit.
 * Sandy: You need to be careful. He needs to analyze you. Try giving it some berries. (Hands him some)
 * SpongeBob:... (He does so and he eats them, and then cuddles SpongeBob)
 * Sandy: See? Was that so hard. (Chestnut meeped, before wheezing) Chestnut!... (She hugs him)... I... (She shed more tears)... I... I won't forget you. I wanna thank you for... For riding me all over the horizon all these years. I'll... I'll hopefully keep one of your feathers at the Treedome to always remember you. (Chestnut meeped one final time until it finally shut it's eyes and died)... (She started shedding more tears)
 * SpongeBob:... Sandy? Are you-
 * Sandy: NO! No! I'm a Texan! I am a MAN!.... In a metathorical sense.... (She then gave in and cried hysterically)...
 * SpongeBob:... Thank Neptune she's not wearing a helmet. (Sandy cried on Chestnut's body)... It's... It's okay, Sandy. Like I said, you were there for his final days.
 * Sandy: Yeah, but... I... I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIII-HII-HIIISS!!! (She continued crying)
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, please, it's the Circle of Life!
 * Sandy: Yeah, yeah, Lion King, all that s***! Don't think that's gonna get me a laugh. I just... Need a moment... For poor Chestnut! (She softly sobs)
 * SpongeBob:... I'd be glad to have this moment with you, Sandy. It's what Chestnut would've wanted after just meeting me... Ironically the last face he met, but- (Sandy cried) Okay, not helping.
 * Sandy: (She cried harder) CHESTNUT! (Cries)
 * SpongeBob: Sandy, please stop, I can't handle thi... Thi... (He couldn't help but cry with her as they did so on Chestnut's body) (Ma and Pa came in)
 * Pa:... Oh, tarnation, I forgot to mention that Chestnut was dying. (The two looked at them and burst out crying again).... I know, I know, my own stupid mistake.
 * Ma:... Ya' THINK?!?
 * Pa: (Sighs) Let's just give them their space. (They did so as the two continued to grieve)
 * Dandy was over-hearing this with an Armadillo friend.
 * Armadillo: "...... Wow. She's really sad about that old bird."
 * Dandy: "...... Gee....... I..... I wish, I could help her recover from that."
 * Armadillo: "Well it's not like you can win her a new Roadrunner at the Texas State Fair being offered as a prize to whoever can guess the number of nuts in the giant jar."
 * Dandy gotten an excited face!
 * Armadillo: "..... Oh why do I encourage you?"
 * Dandy: "THAT'S IT! I'll use my intelligence to win the game and get Sandy a new Roadrunner! It's perfect!"
 * Armadillo: "Well I done doubt she be so quick to replace Chestnut."
 * Dandy: "It doesn't HAVE to replace chestnut. It can become a new beginning for Sandy! Sometimes the best form of throepy to recover from a serious loss, is to move on from life."
 * Armadillo: "..... I think I can see why you never abided to yer grandpa's wishes to become a psyciatrist. Healing from a loss via that method you suggest isn't gonna always garrentied to work. Even an amature in the profession knows this."
 * Dandy: "It's worth a shot, man, at least humor me."
 * Armadillo: "..... Well, I'll go as far to refraign from saying "I told you so". That's all I can do."
 * Dandy: ".... (Sarcastic) Gee, thanks for being a supportive friend."

SpongeBob's Relationship With Sandy Explained
Sandy's Family Home Flashback Present
 * Ma:... I can tell you had a rip-snortin' good time today, huh, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: You bet, Mrs. Cheeks. I got to learn a LOT about your daughter's land. Sad to see her old steed be inches to death.
 * Pa: Yeah, it is unfortunate. Chestnut has grown quite elderly since Sandy left. Poor thing. But considering you have a good life in Bikini Bottom, I'd say Chestnut was at least happy that he got to see you one last time before he died. The poor thing really missed you.
 * Sandy: I could see it in his eyes. (Sighs)
 * SpongeBob:... Eh, it's alright. At least he didn't get to die without one last sight of you. I'm as sad as you were about the death of your old steed.
 * Randy: Yeah, you made it pretty clear that you can't help crying if she does. I could hear it from my room.
 * Dandy: So... SpongeBob... Can I ask you something personal?
 * SpongeBob: Oh, if you're asking why I act pretty hesitant around you, just know it was all a phase.
 * Dandy: No, I mean... What exactly did you see in Sandy to fall in love with her?
 * Randy: Yeah. I mean, I thought that s*** was for the Spandy shippers in your fandom to deal with.
 * SpongeBob:... (Looks at Sandy as she blushed a bit)... Well, when we first met, it wasn't exactly love at first sight. Back then, I wasn't that fond of girls...
 * (SpongeBob): Before I met Sandy, I was, shall we say, bad with the ladies. (They shunned him off)... Girls were just a tad too boring for me, and my silliness and stupidity was always getting in the way. For some bizarre reason, I seemed to be an oddball, a black sheep, and an outcast. Everyone considered jellyfishing a kids' sport, and even though I had the BEST cookouts for my dream of being a fry cook, I had a hard time fitting in with girls. They had little to offer to me to get interested. That is... (SpongeBob and Sandy fought off the Giant Clam)... Until Sandy came in. In fact, she was the first female friend to be different than the other girls I knew, not just because she was from land, a place I had little knowledge of, but she was quite... Fascinating. She had spirit, charisma, charm, a sense of excitement, and was quite friendly. She was the first girl I shared a close connection with. She offered one thing that the other girls couldn't: knowledge of the surface. Before her homesickness incident, I didn't have that much knowledge of her own life, though. I didn't even know what Texas was. But after I helped her get her outlook in Bikini Bottom together... We had a discussion in the Treedome.
 * SpongeBob:... Sandy, I have to admit, I'm amazed that you're of a land that... Shows more than meets the eye.
 * Sandy: Yeah, I admit, I was missing my place in life for a while. But don't blame me. You see, I live here because of my job as a scientist. I work for Treedome Enterprises. I ain't the only land-dweller residing in a Treedome like this. There are a lot of others out there. We study not just sea life, but we have our own funded scientific projects.... Yeah, I know, it's weird. Trust me, it confounds even my bosses too why they do this. Perhaps an over the top method to keep these projects from being taken by rivals domestic and forgen is my best guest. But I'm side-a-tracken. When I got this job as a holiday gift, I was not only confused, but... Conflicted. I didn't know what to make of a setting that a squirrel is not used to. A life in the sea? Crazy! But I have to be honest, before I met you... I was lost. I didn't know if I'd fit in well with sea life. But after meeting you and your friends, I thought I was doing well. But after what happened today... I was unfortunately reminded of questioning my place. My head was spinning until it finally broke down into homesickness. Turns out, I just needed a... Sweet, thoughtful, sympathetic, and... Quite helpful... Person like you to see that the sea can be just as big as Texas. And I just want to say... Thank you.
 * SpongeBob:... It... It was nothing really. (The two hugged)
 * (SpongeBob): That personal revelation she shared with me... Gave me a newfound appreciation for her. It made me see a side to land creatures I never saw before. A person as tough as Sandy can be a little emotionally imbalanced at times, whether it be sadness, weakness, or even... (Patrick was seen getting lassoed into a nuclear explosion)... Downright TERRIFYING!!! I swear to all that's holy, do NOT f*** around with Texas!
 * (Randy): You're doggone right!
 * (SpongeBob): So, since then, I've come to respect and even admire her for a while. But then what REALLY sparked my attraction was... In August 2000, when me and Sandy went to Goo Lagoon again. It was a day that I would consider the day I came to see her as a new person. And... Don't take this the wrong way, just a heads up... All it took was something I did not expect.
 * SpongeBob: SANDY! Are you ready?
 * Sandy: Hold yer' horses, SpongeBob, I'm almost ready. It's just... I have to cope with this. It's something I need to cope with as much as I can.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, come on, what's the hold-up? You really think you'll be embarrassed?
 * Sandy: I dunno! If you were in my shoes, I'd say so.
 * SpongeBob: Just come on out. The water's fine.
 * Sandy:... I... Kinda agree.
 * SpongeBob: Wha? (She came out in her Treedome swimsuit attire)...
 * (Dandy):... Really?
 * (SpongeBob): Let me finish! That wasn't the day I started to fall in love, as I was a late bloomer in the puberty department. But it's pretty close. You see, looking at her in an attire like that in a different setting... Made me see that she's fully embraced her new home, and became a new person. It was like she came to appreciate it as much as she did in Texas. And... It kinda felt nice to know that she was growing since that homesickness incident.
 * (Randy): (To himself) In more ways than one, apparently!
 * (Sandy): Really, Randy? You HAD to go there?
 * (Randy): Oh, don't act like you don't agree with me, sis!
 * SpongeBob: Well, yeah, since that day, she's started getting out of the suit more often, and since my puberty phase started kicking in, the admiration turned into attraction and romantic feelings.
 * SpongeBob: So yeah, the reason I fell in love with her initially was as seeing her as an admirably-strong-willed person, and the first person to teach me a lot.
 * Sandy:... I... I don't know what to say, SpongeBob! This... This is a LOT to take in!
 * Dandy: Yeah!
 * Pa: That's... Actually very sweet of you.
 * Ma: Indeed.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, trust me, there were funny things to be with her to see. One time, we had an argument about which of us creatures were better.
 * Randy: Oh, God, a classic gender-war-style argument!
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. Not only was she so pissed, she nearly drowned herself, getting a pickle jar to breath (Sandy blushed in embarrassment), but she dared us to go to the Island, and we ended up nearly getting eaten by seagulls.
 * Dandy:... A pickle jar... As a helmet?
 * Sandy: SpongeBob, can we PLEASE not mention that to my family-
 * Dandy: (Laughs)
 * Pa: Uh, Dandy, shouldn't you be more concerned that our daughter nearly drowned?
 * Dandy: Well, duh! But- (Scoffs) I can't help it! Using a pickle jar as a helmet? That's just priceless!
 * SpongeBob: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?
 * Sandy: Okay, can we PLEASE not-
 * SpongeBob: Plus, there was that time when Plankton stole her fur pelt to pose as her and get the Krabby Patty formula. For some reason, Sandy was blamed and sent to court for public nudity when she was just trying to get it back.
 * Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!! I DON'T THINK THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT!!!
 * Dandy: (Laughs)
 * SpongeBob: But don't worry. She testified by herself and got Plankton in community service.
 * Dandy: (Laughs)
 * Randy: (He couldn't help but laugh as well)
 * SpongeBob: And let's not forget when we went to Atlantis, and she was so obsessed with their technology, she didn't wanna leave. (The two laughed) And don't even get me started with Kenny-
 * Sandy: SPONGEBOB! (They stopped)... This is NOT a time to laugh at my expense! Yes, I had my weak moments, but sometimes my Southern edge and other things can get to me.
 * Pa: We can all say the same thing, honey. I had my fair share of moments like that.
 * Ma: So did I. Including our date and proposal in marriage. I kissed Manny first because he was too scared to make the first move.
 * Dandy: NO WAY! That's how Sandy first kissed me... As well as Tina.
 * Randy: (Laughs) Looks like awkwardness runs in the family.
 * SpongeBob: You mean like you being a brony?
 * Dandy: OHHHH, BURN!!
 * Randy: (Sighs)
 * SpongeBob: Speaking of Tina, Dandy took us to meet her. I can see how anyone would fall in love with her. Her cuteness and attractiveness is just CONTAGIOUS! She giggles a lot, she has a sweet tooth for Nutter Butters, Nutty Bars, Reeses Cups, and anything with nuts, peanut butter, and chocolate, and she is quite funny. It's enough to make even SANDY jealous.
 * Sandy: Really?
 * SpongeBob: Yeah. She's quite pretty and can hook anyone into her grasp. She's like you, only more admirable in every way. And your friends were pretty nice. Wetter taught you how to swim, Rob taught you how to sing, Rusty gave you your tough edge, Jessie gave you a following, Lou gave you a kinship instinct, and Clint gave you a sympathetic edge. I should kinda thank them for turning you into the squirrel I fell in love with.
 * Sandy: (Laughs a bit) Yeah, that is a good point, but it's kinda Texas for you.
 * SpongeBob: Oh, unbelievably.
 * Dandy: Though, you said you already knew Cowfish Craig when you met him during his family reunion in Trinity Bay.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, that's a long story involving one of my computer games. Had a little banter with a guy with golden coconuts. Knowing how tough a place this is, kinda makes me admire Sandy more. Amazed that it took bringing it up in vain to get her to our plan to help her out of her homesick stage.
 * Randy: Yeah, I admit, most of us here can get QUITE insulted of our heritage that way. But sometimes, it can get grading to even us. You know how angry she gets, but much of us here take it to more violent levels.
 * Pa: And I was among those. Sayin' that it's dumb is like saying our family is dumb. It's kinda disrespectful to it's name.
 * SpongeBob: Yeah, I admit, it was quite ballsy and stupid, but it was the best I could do to get her to the Krusty Krab. But hey, it helped me get to know her more.
 * Sandy: Yeah. I was no doubt unable to go with him until that little comment got me riled up.
 * Dandy: Call me crazy, but I didn't mind such things in my youth. Though I'm not much of a fighter, I have stood up for Sandy in rare times. Her toughness kinds rubbed off on me once or twice.
 * SpongeBob: I'd say so. Plus... It was nice of you to get her a new roadrunner after Chestnut died.
 * Dandy: Yeah, but it was mainly Ammermann's suggestion. I thought she wouldn't like it considering the classic 'nothing can be truly replaced' argument, as understandable as it was, besides the fact that she might not need another when she's underwater.
 * Sandy: Well, it was actually nice regardless. You got the roadrunner for yourself, but it was still sweet of you to try and cheer me up, and it helped SpongeBob adapt well in Texan cultures. It's that sympathy that made me fall in love with you.
 * Dandy: Eh, it was the least I could do.

Dandy and SpongeBob Snap

 * Dandy: SpongeBob, I have to admit, you are quite an entertaining friend for Sandy, and you two get along like, in Sandy's own words, "two catfish in a skillet", but I can't help but feel that, after your explanation... You MAY be loving her as a means to an end.
 * Spongebob makes a surprised face as a duck sound was heard.
 * Spongebob: "..... A, le-par-don?"
 * Dandy: Look, try not to take this the wrong way, I know your an otherwise decent person, I mean, your a leader of a universeally famed hero team after all, it's just.... I worry that your not nessersarly, a perfect person, and there's no shame in being imperfect, it's just, I'm worried that you may have.... Impure quilities.
 * Spongebob: "Look, if it's about the modern Spongebob Episodes, I can't help with that, I'm only doing what the writers want me and the others to do! It's kinda the consiquence of being part of a show with no sense of continuity or canon respect."
 * Dandy: I meant in terms of Sandy! She said that you did end up making out one time, but... Well... The incident that caused it might make me a little uneasy with your relationship.
 * SpongeBob: And what in Davy Jones' locker do you mean by that, Danial? I went through and saw alot of crazy things with her. You wouldn't even believe half of the sights and worlds I saw with her, Danial. We're clearly meant for each other.
 * Dandy: And, I don't question that, but.... She says that sometimes you see her as eye candy. She said you love her wet or bare-skinned underwater, among other... Things I'd rather not get into. You two were making out in the water according to her. Look, since I have my own girlfriend now, obviously I'm no longer obligated to be over-protective on what an Ex-Girlfriend is doing with someone else. What you two do, is your business. It's just..... I'll have to be blunt. Be made aware that Sandy is NOT someone who should be treated like she's a picture on a porn magizene.
 * SpongeBob: (Eyes gave abit of a blank "Are you serious" look) I don't think like the implications here. Look, I assure you that I DO treat Sandy like a real person. In fact, in all the times she was hurt really badly, like from that Adrian barnicale-head who was mad at us for something we couldn't help at the time, or when she gets into unpleasent situations like when Hank Spooner was under a love potion and had revitalised his hopeless romantic interests, I was earnestly concerned for her! If I was the eye candy jerk you discribed me as, and I'm not, I wouldn't even BARELY care about those instances! But I did, and still do! You just have to keep in mind that I have been known to be a mentally imbalenced idiot. Just ask Squidward!
 * Dandy: And I understand that. But mental compidence issues is a seldom excuse to these perverted thoughts.... This, coming from someone who's, guilty of that himself. I won't dare view myself as the higher man, we both been at that lowpoint. I'm just being worried that your relationship as a whole may have earnest issues. For exsample, Sandy says that this little viewpoint has gotten you in trouble. She said you tried to kiss her in your sleep, and you-
 * SpongeBob: Okay, I have to stop you there, Danial! I know where you are going with this, but allow me to politely correct you. The forementioned "Sleep-Kiss" was because of a rather unfortunate event involving a love serum and a dolphin loving Penguin of currently indeteriment spieces. By all means, that love serum thing is something we agreed to forget about. Look, I won't lie, it was wonderful and the first time I got to first base, but come on, had I NOT been under the serum's influence, I would've asked her out and had a normal date. But Kowalski had to put that serum in a juice bottle. Speaking of that, did you know he puts a truth serum in a bottle of ketchup?
 * Dandy: Potion aside, it still reveils some very unsavery hidden demons that I don't blame you for wanting to be in denial off. You need to control yourself, respect Sandy, and treat her like a lady, just like I have when we were still together. Pardon me if I sounded too stern about this, but.... She doesn't deserve to be used as a tool of m**********n! She is TOO GOOD for that, and you need to show common courtesy. If not, I don't think you should be with her.
 * SpongeBob: (Gasps!)... Thou would accurse and besmirth my honor as a lowly perverted swine, good sir?!
 * Dandy: Okay, maybe that didn't gave the result I wanted. Look, again, I meant no disrespect or anything, and by all means, you two are free to do with eachother's bodies as you wish! I'm just trying to give you some friendly advice and trying to get you to admit that you have an earnest problem that I'm sure even the other lougers do agree needs to be addressed and-
 * SpongeBob: UP UP UP! Now you listen here, and listen good, Danial! You think I'm not good enough for her? Even after I went through and survived the kind of things that would've long gave you a fatal heart-attack from?! I seen and fought monsters, ghouls, and other forms of unsaveriness that would make a normal man faint in terror! I even have a run-in with the King of Darkspawn and lived?! I seen the rise of a new successful Uniter! I helped made worlds a better place! Heck, the universes even! I'm part of a team of heroes that, mind you, are among the few hero groups brave enough to stand up to the likes of the Villain Leage! I'm part of a team that encourages into bringing out the good in others, even at their worse, and even turned some of those troubled souls into members of that group! You have NO IDEA how many existeneal crisises I went through on my adventures?! Like, me, a funny loveable idiot, being a leader to heroes, or how I can't always be relied on to resolve a member issue, heck, Icky had to give an elaberate prank involving a german snail cult just to get me to stop over-worry about Gary after Shen had an anti-snail fit that, I didn't responded well to that, so I can focus on saving some members of a sex slave operation owned by a giant magical black widow spider! (Dandy have a WTF stare.).... I'm not kidding, that episode where it happened, unbelievebly controverseal. Among the things why our kid show status has been challnaged ever since. And throughout all of that, Sandy and I stuck togather. And before you ask about the half-break up, it has NOTHING TO DO with perversion! We did the half-breakup just to ensure villains don't use my secret relationship against us. Seriously, Danial, villains have NO respect for a hero's personal bounderies! Just ask every Marvel and DC hero in existence! Relationships are DANGEROUS for this kind of work! It was fun for a while, but as with life, we have to be reminded of the consequences! And you have the NERVE, THE AUDASITY, THE SQUIRL, BALLS, TO ACCUSE ME OF BEING IN UNFIT LOVER?! How, is going through every single danger and adventure the Universe has to offer, not worthy of any woman's affection, let alone Sandy's?! Do you earnestly believe that? Or am I correct to assume that you still miss Sandy dispite your current girlfriend obligations!
 * Dandy: Okay, Spongebob, before we get at eachother's throats, please listen to what I am trying to say, all that stuff you said IS WORTHY of a girl like Sandy's affections, it's just that-
 * SpongeBob: AND YOU CALLED YOURSELF A GOOD BOYFRIEND?!? If your current girlfriend knew about this, I doubt she would wanna stay on your ship, Cap't Envious Ex?!
 * Dandy: OKAY, WHOA, THAT WAS NOT CALLED FOR!
 * SpongeBob: Oh, and saying I don't deserve her is any better, smarty?
 * Dandy:..... Okay, I get what you meant by that, but please know that I meant no disrespect to you. I am only trying to make sure your not some kind of self-entitled dirt bag, and, well, seeing on how your reacting, your clearly not a dude who treats a girl like a trophy! You gave a perfectly normal reaction of a dude who just had his pride, dignity, and honor challnaged. What you said does prove that you cared for Sandy a very great deal, and, I was wrong to challnage that. Though I still think you need to have your, issues adjusted, I realise that your not an inferior boyfriend to Sandy, and, I'm sorry to have suggested that, Spongebob Squarepants. I'm sorry I ever brought this up, and let's, pretend, this never accured, okay? I really want to make this work with you and-
 * SpongeBob: Pfft! Just what I thought. Figured you tuna-ed out the minute I stand up to you. If your gonna accuse someone of being the kind of person they're not, at least have the balls to stand by it, you envious cowerd!
 * Dandy: I AM NOT JEALIOUS OF YOU AND SANDY, IDIOTBOY!!!!!... (The two paused)...
 * SpongeBob:... So THAT'S how it is, huh?
 * Dandy: I-I-I'm sorry, that totally slipped, I, I obviously didn't responded well to being called out as jealious, I clearly moved on and-
 * SpongeBob: I can see why Sandy dumped you, aside from her job. You're clearly too cowardly to stand up for her, which flies at the face of the fact she stood up for you against a giant hairy spider, a dumb brute of a poisionious type of lizard, and a squirl I swear looked like he was from Grease or Happy Days! Your even too cowerdly to stay true to your low-down and degrading insults, you slimely, underatthiving, ungrateful, lying, no good, charlatin of a nut-eating rodent?! Your real girlfriend would be ASHAMED of you! Sandy's family would be ashamed of you! Heck, even that tumbleweed would be ashamed of you!
 * Thumbleweed: "(Was seen right there) Ohhhhh no, I'm staying out of this. (Thumbles away)!"
 * Dandy: (Growls in frustration) OKAY, THAT'S ALL I CAN STAND!! (Grabs him) LISTEN HERE, YOU OVER-SENSITIVE PIECE OF CHEESE!!! I WAS MERELY ASKING YOU TO SHOW COURTESY TO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE NOT ADIQUITE ENOUGH FOR HER, AND YOU SUDDENLY ACCUSE ME OF JEALOUSY?!?
 * Spongebob: "YOUR THE ONE WHO INSULTED MY HONOR AND DIGNITY AS SANDY'S FRIEND, YOU EMBARRISMENT TO RODENT KIND?!"
 * Dandy: AND I AM SORRY FOR INSULTING YOU, BUT I WAS SIMPLY LOOKING OUT FOR HER AS I KNOW HOW TO TREAT A GIRL AS SWEET AND IDENTIFYABLE AS HER!!! I ONLY WANTED TO INFORM YOU THAT SHE IS NOT SOMEONE TO BE TREATED LIKE UNDERWATER EYE CANDY!!! SUCH ACTS ARE SHAMEFUL, AND IRRESPONSIBLE!!! And I am not afraid to admit that I was wrong to say such things to your face, BUT DO NOT CALL ME A COWERD FOR NOT STANDING BY SOMETHING I HAVE ADMITED TO BE WRONG ABOUT, AND DO NOT PLAY THE DOUBLE-STANDERD GAME AND ACCUSE ME OF BEING ENVIOUS?! WHY ARE YOU SO QUICK TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME ANYWAY?! I KNOW SANDY AS WELL AS YOU DO?!
 * SpongeBob: MAYBE BECAUSE I HELPED HER OUT OF A HOMESICK PHASE WHILE YOU WERE CLEARLY ON LAND!!! BUT HOW WOULD YOU KNOW BEST? YOU'D BE TERRIFIED AT EVEN THE WEAKEST VILLAIN EVER THE FIRST SECOND YOU ENCOUNTERED HIM/HER, LET ALONE HOW WELL YOU'D REACT TO A GIANT FISH THE MOMENT YOU SET FOOT IN THE WATER!!
 * Dandy: SAYS THE PERSON WHO WORSHIPS A DANCING PEANUT!!!
 * SpongeBob: SO SPEAKTH A MEMBER OF AN ENTIRE SPIECES OF NUT WORSHIPPERS!? SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS TREAT ACORNS LIKE THEY WERE THE CREATION OF THE GODS THEMSELVES?! YOU'D RUN AWAY FROM SANDY IF SHE THREW A TEMPER AS BIG AS HER 'DON'T TAKE THE NAME OF TEXAS IN VAIN' TEMPER! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW SHE WAS LIKE IN PRE-HIBERATION WEEK AND POST-HIBERATION?!
 * Dandy: AT LEAST I'M NOT EASILY OFFENDED BY THAT REMARK!!!
 * SpongeBob: Why, because you're too busy for dressing in your chicken costume?
 * Dandy: STOP IT!!! STOP, IT!!! I AM NOT A COWARD...... That often.
 * SpongeBob: AHH, LOOK, A HAWK BEING RIDDEN BY YOUR OLD BULLIES!!
 * Dandy: WHERE?!? (SpongeBob scoffed like Woody and laughed his usual laugh)... Okay, cowboy! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT A REAL CHICKEN CAN DO WHEN I PECK YOUR LITTLE EYES OUT!!! (He tried to punch Spongebob, but in akin to Flats The Flounder, it did absolutely nothing.....)
 * Spongebob: "..... Don't feel too bad, Flats had the same problem too. It's why I'm no longer fearful of physical violence."
 * Dandy: "Wha.... (Tries punching him again, but the same thing happened.)"
 * Spongebob exhaled on his hand and rubbed it on his shirt, not even phased by what accured.
 * Spongebob: "Seriously man, ya might wanna stop before you make a complete and utter idiot of yourself."
 * Dandy began to repeatingly punch him but to no avail.
 * Spongebob: "(While Dandy is still punching him......) We may wanna take a break, people, it looks like he's not gonna lose steam anytime soon."
 * Director: "AND CUT! We're taking a break."
 * Spongebob was seen walking down a studio hallway as Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was getting a cup of water while Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was having lunch with Deadpool, Scroop, and Cobra, all three stareing at Dandy who keeps punching him.
 * Spongebob: "..... Don't mind him too much, fellas."
 * Spongebob came out of the bathroom with Dandy still punching him!
 * Spongebob went to see a movie with Dandy quietly punching him.
 * Spongebob was driving home with Dandy still punching him, as he blew a bubble for him to breath upon entry.
 * Spongebob was taking a shower while Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was sleeping while Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was getting ready and brushing his teeth, all the while, Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was working at the Krusty Krab while Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was attending Boating School while Dandy's still punching him!
 * Spongebob was enjoying food from a Golden Corral Buffet while Dandy was punching him!
 * Spongebob was doing grosery shopping while Dandy was punching him.
 * Spongebob was waiting by the check-off as the clerk was scanning the food, confusedly stareing at the display of him being punched by Dandy.
 * Spongebob: ".... Try not to mind him."
 * Spongebob was enjoying a carnival while Dandy was still punching him.
 * Spongebob was at Glove World while Dandy was punching him.
 * Spongebob was jelly fishing while Dandy was punching him.
 * Spongebob was at an impourent business meeting at Nickaloudian Studios while Dandy, his bubble air support gone, was still punching him, whilst the board was stareing.
 * Spongebob: "..... Sorry, I can't tell him to stop, he's from this other thing I do."
 * Spongebob was driving back to Scroop Corp while Dandy was still going, though noticingly sweaty.
 * Spongebob went through the punch-in station while other members of the studio stared.
 * Icky: "..... Jesus almighty, the guy's still going."
 * Spongebob was walking down the hall as Dandy was getiing noticingly slower, though still punches Spongebob.
 * Director: "Roll it."
 * Spongebob has returned to the set as Dandy was finally exhausted and slowed down to the point that he's breathing heavily.
 * Dandy finally stops in exhaustion....
 * Spongebob: "..... Oh, your done now? I kinda enjoyed my 48 hour massage, thank you."
 * Dandy: (Heavily breaths of a few minutes.)........ TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK, YOU TALKING SPONGE CAKE!!!
 * Spongebob: "(Dandy starts punching him again) Oh not again."
 * Sandy: (Comes in) WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOING ON?!?
 * Dandy/SpongeBob: (Dandy stops punching)...... (Pointing at each other) HE STARTED IT!!!
 * Sandy: ONE AT A TIME!!!
 * Dandy: I told him to respect you as a girlfriend and not as something to jerk off to, which, I admit, was kinda rude of me, and he just flat-out accused me of jealousy and insulted me! EVEN AFTER I APOLOGIESED?!
 * SpongeBob: HE SAID I DIDN'T DESERVE YOU AFTER ALL WE WENT THOUGH AND HE KEPT PUNCHING ME THROUGHOUT MY OFF TIME, AND HE INSULTED ME!!!
 * Sandy: Okay, okay, stop! Please! Boys, you two are clearly in a misunderstanding. You BOTH were acting like idiots. Spongebob, since you have a history of over-reacting, I'll let you off with a warning, Dandy, you should know better then to challnage Spongebob's honor like that, even with something you have a concern over.
 * SpongeBob:... (Stares disappointedly at Dandy) So.... This was your sick plan all along? Trying to turn her against me not just as a girlfriend, but AS A FRIEND?!?
 * Dandy/Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!
 * SpongeBob: WELL JOKES ON YOU DANDY, SHE'S MAD AT BOTH OF US NOW?!
 * Sandy: "Now hold up, I ain't mad, I'm just telling you both off! Yer both acting like immature jackasses, Spongebob, and your clearly over-reacting again!"
 * Dandy: "Okay, an envious cowerd is one thing, BUT MALMITULATIVE IS ANOTHER?! This is CLEARLY a typical misunderstanding moment featured in every form of media ever that could be EASILY resolved with just talking it out! We are clearly over-reacting here and we need to stop and be rational before-"
 * Spongebob (Sill kept an angry face while tears were noticeable): I can't believe I started looking up to and respecting you. I was starting to think that you were a swell guy. BUT NOW, I KNOW NOW THAT YOU ARE A BIG NARASISTIC JERK?! NO WONDER YOU HAVEN'T APPEARED SINCE SEASON 1 OF THE CRONICLES SERIES ASIDE FROM LIMITED USEAGE ON HOW TO JUSTIFY YOUR PREASENSE IN THE EPISODES?!
 * Dandy: ".... Wait, wha...."
 * Sandy: "Don't be too comfused, Post-Modern speak."
 * Spongebob: You can say whatever you want about me, about my friends, about the fact that I wear three pairs of underwear, about my love for the Goofy Gobber, about how my canon show hasn't really aged well, about my die-hard fanisum for semi-retired superheores, about my job at the Krusty Krab, about how Viacom is WAAAAAY too protective of properites under their control, about how Bikini Bottom is a troubled city, AND about the fact that I'm a goofball, a dingaling, a wingnut, a kid, an, IDIOTBOY, cheese, fungus, an inaccreate representation of real sea sponges, a knucklehead mcspazatron, and an immature lover of things people seem to deem unmanly?!..... But don't, you, ever, ever, EVER, SCREEH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE- Duh, I mean, SAY THAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR SANDY?! Whether as lover or friend?! That, is like saying that a mother isn't good enough for her birth child, even dispite little to no evidence, to suggest otherwise?! And if your too hypocritically too cowerdly to admit YOUR INNER DEMONS THAT YOU STILL WANT SANDY FOR YOURSELF, THEN YOUR THE ONE WHO'S THE DIRTBAG, YOU, YOU, ASSHOLE?! I don't EVER wanna see you again throughout the rest of my visit, you Uh-Dandy-D***! In fact, I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, PERIOD?! (He stormed off, sturggling to fight off tears and rage....)
 * Dandy:... What, was, THAT?!?
 * Sandy: I could ask you the same thing. Spongebob is a very sensitive sponge, he's too mentally imbalence to understand people so easily.... It's why he still hasn't gotten the message that Squidward doesn't publicly like him. Nor that Ms Puff is struggling to tolerate him. Nor that Patrick as a character hasn't been treated right and is made unlikely stupid compaired to the first 3 seaons and the few good Modern Spongebob seasons and episodes. He's like an austistic child, you can't be too rough on him or he's never gonna react the way you want him to react.
 * Dandy: I know, I know, I messed up badly! I didn't mean to hurt his feelings..... And his pride..... And his sense of, fragle dignity.... And start, THAT mess! I was only trying to express my hesitation of you two as a couple. I don't want anybody to treat you like eye candy, Sandy! I, I thought he had impure quilites that could ruin your relationship with him! I, I, I went at him on face-value assumtions! But he's actselly more honorable and decent then I thought.... He's, I guess, is simply not perfect about it. I didn't mean to upset him, Sandy, I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, I just wanted to address an earnest issue-
 * Sandy: And by all means, we ARE trying to get those issues addressed! Don't you think that Spongebob IS ashamed he has those thoughts about me?! He hates himself that he HAS thought about me like that! He didn't need someone else to REMIND him of his problems! That's gonna make him think you think lowly of him, and he acts out like a hurt toddler because he sometimes fails to handle criticisum properly! Hence why he most likely provoked you into trying to punch him! In fact, Didn't YOU do so yerself? That's gonna make you look hypocritical and self-rightious to him!
 * Dandy:.... Yes, I did a simular sin when I was hiding my crush from you. But I quickly grew out of it because I knew you are undeserving of such sick things. I was just worried that, given Spongebob is mentally imbalenced, he might not so easily do so and inadvertingly hurt you, even if he never meant to. I..... I only wanted to help the little guy out of it, so you two won't end up hurting eachother. I was afraid that he can't easily get out of those kind of thoughts.
 * Sandy: Then you should've gone to me first. Then I'll talk to Spongebob about it in the privacy of the Dragon Guardian Temple, where it would be considered PERSONAL, LOUGER, BUSINESS! It's like that because, we're trying to have the Louge rise above such quirks so they can't be used against us by villains or critics! Because otherwise, the public will fail to take us seriously as real heroes and start making false assumtions..... Like you just did. I know you meant well, Dandy, but Spongebob is too sensitive to the kind of talk you gave him like an asberger person is sensitive to anything harder then kindergarden level of learning. If you want him to make ANY earnest change, don't encourage his misunderstanding behavior! Otherwise..... You end up being worse then a villain or an inhumble self-impourent critic. (She leaves)
 * Dandy:... (Growls in aggravation), DANDY, YOU IDIOT?! THIS IS WHY YOU TURNED GRANDPA DOWN IN WANTING TO MAKE YOU A PSYCIARIST?! YOUR TERRORABLE WITH WORDS?!
 * Dandy sat down in self shame as he was watched by a Scorpian and Buzzard Duo, simular to the two goons from "Cowboys of Moomasa", were watching from afar, laughing stupidly at Dandy's trouble.
 * Buzzard: "Sounds like to me them heroes ain't a threat to the boss after all."
 * Scorpian: "In fact, I done think this might be use-full to us."
 * The duo laughed goofully yet somehow wickedly as they went into the shadows.

Transcript
Intro Theme (Jon Wolfe- That Girl In Texas) Coming soon...