Equestrian Kung Fu Fight Club

Equestrian Kung Fu Fight Club is the 6th Episode of the 3rd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Peng and his girlfriend, Lian, have come to the Dragon Temple not only wishing to live under their tutorage of learning to better the UUniverses as Shell Lodgers after getting quite an amount of praise, but to also bring Kung Fu Fight Clubs to places that are routinely attacked like Equestria or Camelot. The Lodgers embraced them with opened arms, especially Po. However, this attracted the attention of not only the rebellious Junjie, who's thinking this will be the perfect way to earn Mang's forgiveness AND gain control of the Lodgers at the exact same time, as due to a mental relapse, but decides to work with Tai Lung break out and recruit his sister, Dai Song, from When Turkeys Revolt, and the Komodos from there as well, even their somewhat dim-headed warrior king, Fing Fung Fong, into the League. Although, Fing was reluctant to get involved with evil again after what happened with Bao Sa Mao, that changed when Junjie had him exposed to corruption powder and had taken the other Lodgers prisoner and threatened to kill SpongeBob and give Mang his soul for the X-blade and Kairi's life unless the Lodgers accept Junjie as the new leader. Now Spyro, Peng, Po and the Five must defeat Junjie, Tai Lung, Dai Song and the Komodos and rescue the other Lodgers with the help of the signed-up members of the Fight Club and a reformed former foe of Spyro who has appeared with his family to protect the hero he almost hurt. When this mess is over, Junjie is set to get another earful from Mirage and Mang for his reckless and rebellious behavior.

(Based on the episode I saw, Kung Fu Fight Club)

Chapter 1: Peng and Lian Return, As Well As Junjie
Dragon Temple. Flashback. Present Meanwhile... Later... Meanwhile. Present Canterlot, Equestria Applosia.
 * Lord Shen was holding a party.
 * Lord Shen: "A toast for the Penguins and Icky for a good job done. And an extra toast for Icky for not somehow screwing it up. That's a first I beleive. We have offitcally saw the end of the Evil Chackle."
 * Spongebob: "Awesome work guys! Though Rico did sort've took a misteap with Sour Cookie."
 * Rico: "Sa-ree!"
 * Kolwalski: "And we can safely bet he'll lawyer up against us soon. With Hammy Hammerhead no less."
 * iago: "Well it's a good thing Hammy hasn't exactly had good luck with dealing with us so far, so otherwise, this won't be TOO hard."
 * Crane: "Well, I better practice my justification of Rico just being unpredictable, AGAIN, just for the sake of keeping our butts safe."
 * Cynder: "Well, that stuuf about this "Mafia Allience" trying to establish a villain team to work for them is concerning. And that mysterious gain of darkspawnic jewelery? I think there's something, unsavery going on here."
 * Lord Shen: "And it's a concern we will work to discover on, but until then, it's best not to worry about it now. The Mafia Allience lost their villain team gamble and will stay in Hiatus again, and we captured Sour Cookie... Though granted, Rico un-nessersarly injured him in the process."
 * Rico: "(Noises), Sorry!"
 * Lord Shen: "So by all accounts, we should at least enjoy at least this victory against this allience of organised crime."
 * Sir Hiss: "Here here. For now, tis a time of celebration."
 * A wolf comes in.
 * Wolf: "Sir, we have two visitors. Two snow leopards."
 * Spyro: "Snow leopards?"
 * Wolf: "Well, yeah. One of them said he goes by the name of "Peng", so, I came to tell you guys about it and-"
 * Icky: Wait, Peng? You mean that guy who almost had his own episode in this series until a misunderstanding erupted which briefly caused the producer to upload Tman's spinoff episodes onto his, and--
 * Po: Yeah, him! Look, we need to tell you something. He's no longer afraid of doing Kung Fu because of his lineage with Tai Lung. You see...well...we had a--
 * Shifu: Let's not explain it just yet. Let them in. (Peng and a familiar snow leopard from Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness appears)
 * Peng: Hey, guys!
 * Icky: (Seeing the taller snow leopard, and whistles) WOW, what a kitty! (Gilda smacks him) Ow!
 * Lian: We're both a couple, thank you very much.
 * Po: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, explaining when we first met Lian. You see, I was sent by Shifu to find a Kung Fu fight club and shut it down because that kind of stuff was outlawed since it would lead to rookies getting hurt. But then...well, I ended up joining the Fight Club, and I found out that Lian got Peng to open his eyes in Kung Fu more. The problem was that our old 'friend' Tong Fo tried to corrupt Peng by threatening to kill Lian. Luckily, we saved them, and Shifu lifted the ban of fight clubs, and...there you go.
 * Sandy: You guys own a fight club?
 * Lian: Yeah. It's like what you other-worldly beings call 'Olympics'.
 * Skipper: With a blend of gladiator games?
 * Lian: Yeah, that, too.
 * Peng: But personally, I'm glad that old idea of me being in your series was cancelled because...well, I guess DreamWorks had an idea to fix that already. It would've been cut out already, or I would at least have to pretend that I looked up to Kung Fu in another way.
 * Viper: Well, it's good to see you guys again. But is that the reason you came here in the first place?
 * Lian: No, actually. We came to tell you guys that I discovered that 'Olympics' thing just recently, and thus I decided that we should hold Kung Fu fight clubs on other worlds.
 * Shifu: Really?
 * Peng: Well, yeah, I mean, fight clubs aren't banned anywhere else, are they?
 * Shifu: Not that I know of. But...what world did you have in mind to host this new fight club?
 * Peng: Some world that we've heard is one of the most well-noted since you guys first crash-landed there. Said to be inhabited with colorful horses with tattoos on their flanks, and--
 * Icky: Equestria?
 * Peng: YEAH, that!
 * Icky and Iago: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
 * Peng: ".... What's wrong? Has Equestia banned fight clubs recently?"
 * Icky: "Not exactly, it's just..... It kinda has a problem with, a unicorn council that, doesn't trust otherworldly beings very well. In fact, just last week, when Cousin Cashy tried to open a chain restaurent in Equestia..."
 * A green Icky look-a-like: "I, Cashy, have announced my fastfood joint of soy and tofu burgers to be, OPEN?!"
 * Cashy snips open the line as ponies cheer!
 * ???: "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!"
 * The Unicorn Council is seen.
 * Shineflare: "WHAT IS, THIS I HEARD, ABOUT AN ALIEN OPENING BUSINESS IN EQUESTIA?!"
 * Cashy: "(Gulp)..... Well, Celestia and Luna gave me permission to open up shop here since I was releated to Icky of the Shell Lougers. I came here offering tofu and soy burgers and healthy french fries, made with love, and their choice of diet sodas. I am aiming to unvail the first ever Fastfood restaurent actselly healthy for continuious consomtion. It's perfectly legit business."
 * Shineflare: "...... Legit business? You call it legit, offering addicting foods, turning ponies into your slaves in "mininum wage", AND PUT EQUESTIA OWN AND BORNED BUSINESSES IN BANKRUPCY!?"
 * Cashy: "W-what?! No! That's not what I'm aiming for at all?! I'm an honest businessman!"
 * Shineflare: "Ha!? EVERYPONY KNOWS BUSINESS MEN ARE NEVER HONEST?!"
 * Cashy: "Ok, why are you so distrusting to me?"
 * Shineflare: "I am being much more careful, AND TOUGH, to outsider businesses when Kevin "Qu Dan" tried to usurp our soverangey under an influence of Mang Cobra! I care not for what Celestia has said or stupidly approved of! I WANT YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS OUT OF HERE?!"
 * Cashy: "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I PUT MY HEART AND SOUL INTO THIS, AND CELESTIA IS THE ONE WHO CAN DESIDE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?"
 * A sword is pointed to Cashy's face!
 * It was being held by Pred Judu Des.
 * Pred: "I advise you rephrase that word, alien."
 * Cashy: "I, duh, duh, duh, I'M SUEING YOU AND THE UNICORN COUNCIL FOR DEATH THREATS AND HARRASSMENT?!"
 * Shineflare: "HA?! GOOD LUCK ACTSELLY GETTING A LAWYER TO ACTSELLY OVER-THROW THE WILL OF THE UNICORN COUNCIL!?"
 * In court.
 * Crane as Harvy Wadder: "And in concludion, my client Cashy has been harrassed and threaten by the unicorn council AND Pred Judu Des over opening a business in ponyville! I ask that this is not to be allowed and not to be tolerated."
 * Judge: Then I guess it's settled. The court rules in favor of Cashy!
 * Shineflare: AW, COME ON!! (Guards pointed their guns at her)...
 * Judge: As punishment for harsh harassment, Shineflare shall have 1 week of suspension, and will be sentenced to community service in Ponyville.
 * Shineflare: WHAT?!?
 * Icky: You heard him, douchebag! YOU'RE SUSPENDED AND GROUNDED!! Maybe next time think before you harass someone innocent.
 * Judge: Case dismissed! (Slams hammer down)
 * Icky: And while Glitterhair was in charge of the Council, Shineflare took up a temporary job as a babysitter for Galiax and a few other fillies. The lady was traumatized by those little munchkins' antics that she has nightmares of them even today.
 * Iago: I say she deserves those nightmares as a reminder to trust other-worldly beings properly.
 * Icky: But, sadly...that wasn't enough. She still won't stand for any businesses being run without her knowing about it. There's a good chance that if they find out about your 'fight club' being held there, they're gonna be all over you like white on rice.
 * Lian: Oh, my!
 * Peng: Well, shoot! There goes our one chance to spread our excitement across the UUniverses. I can see we wasted our time doing this.
 * Lian: Oh, no! I'm not the one to be scared off by a bunch of xenophobic jerks. I'm gonna have a nice long chat with this 'Shineflare', and we're gonna have ourselves a nice long fight club. And NOTHING is going to say otherwise.
 * Sandy: Dang, she's pretty damn assertive!
 * Po: Yeah, you don't wanna mess around with Lian, she bites, and bites HARD!
 * Alex: Well, you might not wanna do this alone, though. We'll have to accompany you on this one. We're the only ones regulating Shineflare's distrust on other-worldly beings. She doesn't hurt a single soul as long as we're around.
 * Gloria: Mm-hmm, I know that's right!
 * Icky: "Yeah, your gonna need our help on this. If there's anyone capable to keep Shiney from being a bitch, it's pretty much us."
 * Lian: Well, good! Because I've already had enough trouble with someone threatening my life and my career as it is, and I am NOT gonna let a xenophobe ruin it this time.
 * Sandy: Okay, easy on the tone, lady. Let's not resort to violence when she speaks her first words about this situation. Just let us handle everything, okay?
 * Lian: Well, that's good.
 * Peng: Sorry about her attitude, guys. Ever since our little stunt with Tong Fo, she's grown hateful against those who treat our hobbies like crap as opposed to those who treat her like crap.
 * Po: Yikes. That's pretty bad.
 * Peng: You have no idea.
 * Lian: So what're we waiting for? Let's get this fight club started.
 * Junjie: (He is looking angrily at his ugly self in the mirror, and utterly smashes it) GODDAMN IT!! I'M PPHHHHSTUCK LIKE PPHHHIIISSS FOR A PPHHULLLL MONTH!!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO LOOKING LIKE PPPHHHIIISSS?!?
 * Tai Lung: Hey, nobody's laughing at you, Junjie, just chill out. (Makunga is softly scoffing until Tai Lung smacks him)
 * Galaxhar: "Oh worry not. The month of Febuary will fly by rather quickly."
 * Junjie: "Not enoughthhhhhhhh!  I needthhhhhhhh a quicker remeny to end my current plaughhhe!"
 * Makunga: "Ya know, your the same guy who managed to snag Mang's exspearimental fuse meddailian yet can't realise he can do the same to Mang's spell box? Weak."
 * Junjie: "...... Mang'stthhhhh Spellthhhhh Boxthhhh! MAKUNGA YOU GENIUSTHHHHHHHHH!?"
 * Galaxhar: "OH WAY TO ENCOURAGE HIM?!"
 * Junjie: (Appears back to normal, and sighs and relief) Great! Now I no longer have to worry about sounding like Daffy Duck if his tongue was swollen!
 * Galaxhar: You do realize that you can't let Lord Cobra see you back to normal, and let him change you back to your ugly self again, right?
 * Junjie: Unfortunately, yes. But I might not be able to hide my recovery for long, so I've got enough time to plan my own scheme to pass the time.
 * Makunga: Oh here we go again.... Ok, just, what exactly did you have in mind?
 * Junjie: Well, the Evil Cackle was not the only place where I can feel free to bet with others. There a run-down bar in China where I get to hang out with the other bad guys that the Dragon Warrior has fought. One of the people I bet against was this loris sour-crop named Tong Fo, claiming that he was first thwarted by the Dragon Warrior when he first tried to claim this Mjolnir-style hammer. He also claimed to have almost gotten away with one of his schemes in an illegal fight club run by these two snow leopards. One of them, I think might interest Tai Lung. I just discovered that they're planning to open a fight club match on Equestria.
 * Makunga: (Scoffs and laughs) What are the odds of them getting away with that after the Unicorn Council has proven to be distrusting against other-worldly beings opening businesses there thanks to one of Mang's scemes with Kevin?
 * Junjie: Well, my snow leopard assistants say that they asked for help from the Shell Lodgers to make sure no complaints are made after that court case with the Ichthyornis' cousin being harassed.
 * Tai Lung: So what's your plan, then?
 * Junjie: My plan is pretty obvious, isn't it? We gotta go down there and see what we can do with that fight club. We might even use the Unicorn Council to our advantage.
 * Galaxhar: "I would rather not try to do that THROUGH them! Remember the last villain that tried to usurp Equestia's soveringy through those jerks?"
 * Junjie: "Alchourse, Master Brainiac. Whatever happened to him?"
 * Galaxhar: ".... Well....."
 * Chain comes back with a series of torture devices.
 * Chain: "Hi Mr. Brainiac! Your daily doses of viamin torture is here!"
 * A supervillain chimpanzee with an enlagred brain is seen strapped against his will and ball-gagged!
 * Chain: "Oh, oh! And I just brought my faverite! (Brings out an omious jar) Guess what it is?"
 * Brainiac: "Mmpfh! Mmm!?"
 * Chain: "No silly! It's not a "MMM MMMM", it's a jar of parasites! But a speical kind of parasite! They like brains!"
 * Chain opens the jar and snake-like parasitic creatures came out hissing!
 * Chain: "My sisters say they're Snake-Brain Parasites, and I don't have to worry about them eating my brain cause they said "I don't have one". Pfft! As if. They were just being silly as usual. Anyway, your gonna have fun with these guys, Mr. Brainiac. This is an espeiclally fun "punishment" for trying to overthrow Celestia through the unicorn council! And may talk of what is happening to you make sure villains don't EVER try that again! Look out, I'm gonna put one of them through your butt!"
 * Brainiac was mmpthing loudly!
 * Chain started Woody Woodpecker laughing!
 * Sharp-Pay's voice: "Chain, I'm reminding you that this week's the last week the lougers are gonna allow us to "Punish" Brainiac for trying to malmitulate Shineflare and the council to usurp Celestia and Luna of their crowns. They asked that on this week, your not allowed anything extreme."
 * Chain: "....... Does using the Snake-Brain Parasites count as "ex-ter-eam"?"
 * Sharp-Pay's Voice: Well, judging by how lethal those things are...YES!
 * Chain: AW F****** S***, F****** F***, GODDAMN F***, SON OF A S*** WEASEL!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO TRY THESE OUT!!!...Can I at least give him the rack?
 * Sharp-Pay's Voice: (Whispering is heard) Yes, but--
 * Chain: YAAYY!! (Woody laughs, and pulls the rack crank hard)
 * Sharp-Pay's Voice: BUT NOT THAT--(A violent rip was heard)...Hard!
 * Galaxhar:...It didn't end well.
 * Junjie: (Barfs) They seriously tore off his limbs?!? NASTY!!
 * Tai Lung: "Well, Brainiac is by all means alright.... Through he's both a cyborg now, and now has a crippling fear of ponies. He can no longer look at the louger "Trixie" the same again without pooping himself silly. He became an almost stupidly easily defeated villain."
 * Junjie: "Ok, SCRATCH using the unicorn council! We'll have to do this by ourselves! And I am genius enough to inprovise."
 * ???: JUNJIE, IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE?!?
 * Junjie: F***, it's Cobra! (Uses the magic box to make a magic hologram of him still having his deformed body) Uh, PPHHHYYYEAAAAHHH, PPPPPPPHHSUURE PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTHHHHHIING!!! PPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHBBBBBBTT, PHHHBBTT, PPHBT!
 * Cobra's Voice: Geez, do you have a hairball or something?
 * Junjie: Oh, PPHHHHHSSHUUT UPPPPHHH!!!
 * Cobra's voice: "Uh..... I'm just gonna leave you alone."
 * The sound of Cobra teleporting away is heard.
 * Junjie: "..... Good devines, that was close."
 * Galaxhar: "So, now about this plan?"
 * Junjie: "Well, since it concerns only the leopard boy and his girlfriend, who the leopard boy is SURPRISINGLY Tai Lung's nepfew."
 * Tai Lung: "Wait, but I was orphaned. How do I have a nefpew, much less an actual family?"
 * Junjie: "Well, that's movie-TV show tie-ins for you. They aren't known to be very loyal to the shorce material. They like to make up their own lores."
 * Galaxhar: "You realise without me or Makunga, you two, kung-fu masters or not, are gonna be over-wealmed!"
 * Junjie: "Oh, don't worry. Tai Lung and I won't nessersarly be alone. We'll be soughting after, a few prisoners of Chur Gom. Speaking of which, does everyone remember that thanksgiving mess when Spyro had a momentarly issue with the dark legend, Bao Sa Mao, an army of komodo dragons, and Tai Lung's sister?"
 * Tai Lung: "Oh I have a sister now?! Gees, even the series not even CANON to the movie isn't being loyal to the schoure material! Though granted, that's to be expected."
 * Galaxhar: "You mean when at the same time, there was a turkey revolt? Why interested in those guys, they couldn't even protact that Bao guy, how can they ever be a use for you?"
 * Makunga: If you ask me, maybe that Tong Fo guy could be of use. In fact, a LOT of villains there could be of use to us.
 * Junjie: HELL NO, WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF THOSE GUYS!! They'll just result in a big fight for credit, and end up harming more than just the fight club. Not to mention some of them are just brutes like that Li Dong guy, DAMN is he brutal. Trust me, I think Dai Song and the Komodos are good enough of a force, especially with their Komodo leader who I learned was the cousin of that Komodo in the Scourge Empire.
 * Galaxhar: Oh, you mean that Zhou Dan guy from the games?
 * Junjie: Yeah, that guy was a jackass to me one time. But he's not important. The important thing is Fing, his cousin.
 * Makunga: Hmm, if he's the cousin of an overlord who can nearly take control of Gongmen City just as good as Lord Shen could, then I guess he sounds pretty tough.
 * Junjie:...Yeeeeah...he's not that much of an evil lizard per say.
 * Tai Lung: What do you mean?
 * Junjie: "He's more of a...... Misguided idiot. I mean yes, if it meant ensuring the future of his "Kingdom", an underground city of Komodos, then he's all for causing whatever mayhem is nessersary, but, that's about it. He only helped Bao cause he promised to treat their "kingdom" of Komodoious like a real kingdom."
 * Tai Lung: "Well how are WE gonna get him and his komodo army to join us if he's more of a misguided twat then a true villain?"
 * Junjie: "It's nothing a well placed corruption powder can't fix. But Dai Song is a much more, open to suggestion willing parpisipent. Plus, I heard she has learned to have master perfected kung fu from being blind, thanks to die hard determination to get even with that panda for "killing" Tai Lung. But she can become stronger with her eyesight returning to her. Galaxhar, Makunga, the best you 2 can do, is make sure Mang is too distracted to even be a little curious! Keep him so catered, he starts to slump like a lazy tree!"
 * Makunga: What makes you think it will work? Wouldn't he be suspicious if we suddenly started pampering him?
 * Junjie: "Not if you pamper him hard enough that again, he becomes too lazy to even think a thing!"
 * Makunga: "It's just that, Mang may not exactly the the same evil warlock from the second war, but he's not THAT stupid!"
 * Junjie: Oh, I've been at the criminal-run spa not too far from our fortress. You walk on his back, boom, he's more relaxed than a guy who's ma--
 * Tai Lung: Okay, we get it!
 * Junjie: So who's with me? (The group moans in skepticism) Excellent! For once, I'll be taken seriously around here. (Cackles as thunder claps in the background)..... Seriously, WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM!?
 * Celestia: (Appears in front of the Unicorn Council) My dear Council, the Lodgers have arrived with some guests.
 * Shineflare:...Hmm...well, for God's sakes, bring them in. (The Lodgers appeared with Lian and Peng)
 * Glitterhair: Hello, Lodgers! Who are the guests you brought here?
 * Lian: I am Lian, and this is my boyfriend, Peng. We have come because we are offering something.
 * Cosmoto: Really? You-you are?
 * Violet Flame: Surely you've heard that we don't take kindly to other-worldly beings, right?
 * Peng: We have, miss...uhh...
 * Violet Flame: Please call me mam!
 * Peng: Mam!
 * Lian: We are owners of a fight club in the DreamWorks Universe, and we have come hoping that we would hold a fight club here in Equestria.
 * Whimsisco: WHAT?!?
 * Violet Flame: A FIGHT CLUB?!? ARE YOU F****** S******* ME RIGHT NOW?!?
 * Glitterhair: Absolutely not!
 * Shineflare: If that's all you wanted to ask me, then you can just forget it! Having fight clubs in Equestria is far too dangerous for my subjects. Hell, they barely know a single move of Kung Fu!
 * Lian: (Gets angry)
 * Celestia: Headmaster, you might wanna be careful what you say, they said that Lian doesn't play nicely with those who--
 * Shineflare: I don't care how intimidating she thinks she is, Celestia! I've got Pred to defend me from whatever this cat has to throw at me!
 * Lian: (Breaths angrily)...
 * Utopia: I don't like the way she's looking at us, Shineflare!
 * Shineflare: Oh, I'm REAL scared! What's she gonna do?
 * Icky: But Shineflare-
 * Shineflare: BUT NOTHING! I want you all out of my sights immediately-
 * Lian grabbed Shineflare by the throat, causing a painful gag!
 * Cosmoto: "This, m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-might end poorly."
 * Shineflare: "ACK!? IS THIS ANYWAY WAY TO TREAT THE MEMBER OF THE GOLDEN SLAYERS?!"
 * Lian: "LISTEN, YOU HARD HEADED BITCH!? I DO NOT TAKE KINDLY TO IGNORENT BUROCRATS THAT THINK THEY CAN PROTACT THE PEOPLE BETTER THEN KUNG-FU, WHEN THEY REALLY CANNOT?! I HAD TO DEAL WITH AN INCOMPIDENT LEADER OF MY VILLAGE WHO SAID HE CAN PROTACT OUR HOME FROM BANDIT RAIDS, BUT NEVER SUCCEEDED IN ACTSELLY DOING THAT!?"
 * Shineflare: "IF, ACK, YOU THINK THREATING ME IS GONNA MAKE YOUR SILLY CLUB THING HAPPEN, THEN YOUR MISTAKEN!? PRED IS AN ADAQUIT DEFENDER OF EQUESTIA!? And to a lesser extent, the elements of harmony barers, Twilight Sparkle and friends."
 * Lian: "But what if THEY can't always be around to protact the citizens? What if while they're away fighting a greater threat, smaller ones like bandits and mauraders take advantage of a defenceless land ripe for robbing!"
 * Shineflare: "ACK!? Nonsense! Bandits and Criminals of ANY verity of mythic beast know better then to invade any land of Equestia while Pred is on patrol!"
 * Peng: "Oh, you mean the mass murderor you parade like a hero because he processed a comspect you prefered in ponies? An outdated thought born from a long past war? It's better to let the past be what it is, the past, and not let whatever rotten individal mar you judgement on where they came from."
 * Icky: "Yeah, don't bother with that kind of speech with them kid, they're aren't easily winnable like that."
 * Shineflare: "I am ack, telling you people for the last time, Equestia is perfectly fine on it's own, NOT LET ME ACK, GO, BEFORE I CALL THE GUARDS?!"
 * Guards bursted in!
 * Guard Leader: "HEADMISTRESS SHINEFLARE!? THERE'S A BISON-TAUR BANDIT RAID IN APPLOSIA!? Bison Bill is back to rob them of their apples and money again! THE SHERUFF'S OVERWEALMED!?"
 * Shineflare: "Oh! The perfect oppertunity to prove the effectiveness of Pred and his adopted Daughters. Very well, aliens. We'll have a wager. If you could actselly succeed in defeating the Bison-Taurs, and their leader Bison Bill, then I'll bless your silly club. When you lose, YOUR BANISHED FROM EQUESTIA FOREVER, CAT ALIENS!?"
 * Lian: "Your on, you stubbern old goat."
 * Lian dropped Shineflare.
 * Whimsisco: "Are you sure it's a brillient idea to make a bet you might not nessersarly win, Shineflare?"
 * Shineflare: "Councilponies, have faith in your headmistress. Bison-Taurs are asentually Minotaur hybreeds with Bison genes in them. They're no challnage to Pred and the Sisters."
 * The Applosian Ponies and Bisons are trapped by Western Outlaw dressed Bison-like Minotaurs that are the Bison-taurs, lead by one with the sharpest horns, the meanest glare, and the nastest teeth. He had a spooky looking Rattlesnake with him.
 * Bareburn: "Bison Bill, what're you doing is awfully un-neighberly!"
 * The leader (Bison Bill): "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's the idea of being a criminal! We're not known for our politeness!"
 * Bison-Taurs laughed!
 * Bison Bill: "Now that we've established our dominance over you ponies and the Bisons that befriended them like idiots, we'll be taking our loot of apples and your money back to our hideout. Now this town, belongs to, BISON BILL!?"
 * ???: "You mean the local graveyard belongs to Bison Bill."
 * The Bison-Taurs look to see Pred Judu Des and the Sisters in cow-pony attire.
 * Pred: "Bison Bill, The great Pred Judu Des is calling you out."
 * Bison Bill was not at all imtimidated.
 * Bison Bill: "The great Pred Judu Des, huh? Great asendent of the "Fear War hero" Dred Judu Des, eh? You old mule, your WAY past your prime! And those mix-match of whiny bitches are not worthy continuers neither! Your in no position to be a match for Bison Bill!"
 * Sharp-Pay: "WHY YOU INSOLENT-"
 * Sharp-Pay charges at Bison Bill, who remains unphased!
 * Bison Bill: "Sic'her, Diamond."
 * The Spooky looking Rattlesnake "Diamond" glowed in red eyes and caught Sharp-Pay in a state-like fear!
 * Sharp-Pay: "MALEVOLENT FLAMES?! NO!? GET AWAY FROM ME?!"
 * Sharp-Pay fell to the floor and screamed loudly!
 * Axe-Rella: "(Gasp!) Sharpie!? WHAT DID THAT STUPID REPTILE DO TO MY SISTER!?"
 * Bison Bill: "What? You never seen a Mental-Attack Rattler before? Diamond's spieces is capable to malmitulate her victims by making them relive horrendus fears and past exspeariences. She's how I became such a successful outlaw!"
 * Axe-Rella: "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTURD!?"
 * Axe-Rella charged!
 * Hidden Shadow appeared!
 * Hidden: "AXE-RELLA, NO! COME BACK AND LET ME MAKE YOU AMMUNE TO MENTAL ATTACKS BEFORE IT'S TOO-"
 * Axe-Rella: (Diamond uses the mental attack on Axe-Rella) AAAHHH!!! MALEVOLENT, NO!!!
 * Chain: "We're losing!"
 * Bison Bill used Diamond to mental attack Pred, Chain, and the Struggling Hidden Shadow into a state-like trance!
 * Bison Bill: "HAHA!? Anyone else want to take on Bison Bill?"
 * ???: As a matter of fact, yes! (Lian appears and punches Bison Bill in the face, and manages to fling Diamond off of him and beat up Bill, and Peng and the other Lodgers appear and fight the bandits off)
 * Braeburn: Well, she-yoot! We seem to be lucky.
 * Bison Bill: "No one DARES stand up to Bison Bill! You'll done rue the day you-"
 * Lian: SHUT UP! (Smacks him to the ground, and then continues fighting until they tie up the entire bandit group)
 * Squidward: That was TOO easy!
 * The Unicorn Council saw everything and was shocked.
 * Shineflare: "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b...."
 * Lian: Well, looks like we're having ourselves a nice fight club here.
 * Celestia: "Well Shineflare... It only seems fair to let them have the club now consider Pred wasn't able to defeat a mere bandit leader."
 * Shineflare: "De, de, That was only because Bison Bill was cheating, I.... I, I-"
 * Luna: "Now Shineflare, you gave your word they'll be allowed to open a fight club here IF they proven themselves. Our parents will not be very forgiving to you making false promises."
 * Shineflare sighed in embarrising defeat.
 * Shineflare: "I suppose THIS is what I get for gambling! Fine, I, begrudingly, bless the fight club."
 * Chain: "AGGGGGGGGGGGH!? MALEVOLENT FLAMES?!"
 * Shineflare: "...... Someone get Pred and the sisters to see a de-speller."

Chapter 2: The Jailbreak of Chorh Gom Prison
Chorh Gom Prison Chorh Gom Cafeteria Outside Prison Inside the Prison. Later.
 * Rhino Guard: (Comes into a hall with several cells holding several known Kung Fu Panda criminals such as the Lin Kuei, Tong Fo, Fung, Li Dong, Madame Zhou and Ju-Long, and the Undertaker) Alright, you dunderheads, it's lunch time. The longer you bark, the colder it gets. (They are released with spears being pointed at them by other guards, and one of them is Dai Song, Tai Lung's sister from When Turkeys Revolt)
 * Dai Song: ".... Blindless. is but an inconvinence."
 * Tong Fo: (Sighs) We're having tofu...AGAIN!
 * Dai Song: "It's a prison, remember? Alchourse they won't serve high quility food."
 * Tong Fo: "I know, but still."
 * Fing: You think you've had it rough? My entire kingdom is imprisoned here, and we been stuck here since that Thanksgiving.
 * Undertaker: Oh yeah? Well, I was this close to ruling an undead kingdom until my ghosts turned against me.
 * Fung: We constantly get beaten and locked up by the Dragon Warrior, and yet we've escaped so many times that I'm starting to get used to this place no matter how inedible the food here is.
 * Tong Fo: Pbbt! Taotie is lucky that he's part of a villain team.... Even though it's not exactly one of the "cool" ones. As for me, the producer hasn't decided what team to place me in yet.
 * Fung: Me neither.
 * Fing: Well, at least my evil cousin who raided Gongmen City a couple of years back is part of the Scourge Empire.
 * Tong Fo: And how does THAT make us feel better?
 * Fing: "..... Your right, it doesn't even make me feel better. My cousin was an asshole! Even as a kid! In fact, I'm jealious of him that HE gets to eat in luxery, and I'm stuck here eating a bean subtence."
 * Dai Song: "Like blindless, imprisonment, is but an inconvinence. I suspect that someday, fortune will smile our way, and enable us to return to get that Panda."
 * Fing: "Well, at least I dumped the vengence stuff. I wasn't even into it at all. I only got with Bao Sa Mao cause he promised to have my kingdom taken seriously if I did some dirty work. Now Bao has, surprisingly turned around for the better and is a decent guy now. I mean, I'm glad for him, but I would've liked it abit more if he stood up for my defence."
 * Dai Song: "He was but a crutch slowing me down, anyway. At least now, I'm free to hunt down the panda at my leasure.... And hopefully, I won't have to babysit a idiotic false king."
 * Fing: "Hey, I'm not idiotic! Most of the time..... And I AM A REAL KING!?"
 * Tong Fo: "Oh let's be honest with ourselves. Is Komodoious ACTSELLY a real nation, if the entirity of it has been taken to jail? Your asentually just ruins bandits hiding in what was once the underground mole kingdom until they desided to pick greener pastures in the dirt of mongoolia!"
 * Fing: ".... Your right, but at least I was leading my guys to a greater life instead of listening to my mean cousin all the time!"
 * Ju Long: "Well, wasn't it a twist of irony you found yourself being a bandit and in service to a thought to be mythical former elk lich?"
 * Fing: "..... Yeah, that WAS, kinda ironic. But this time, I am gonna have a strong independent will, and I WON'T, find myself in the service of another dark master."
 * Tong Fo: You might wanna be careful with what you say, lizard. It might end up happening.
 * Fing: Not this time, loris!
 * Madame Zhou: (Chuckles) That's what a lot of people have said. I ended up having myself double-crossed by a STUPID RAT and lost my profits.
 * Ju Long: Hey, lady, you started it! You double-crossed me first.
 * Undertaker: Drop it, you two! You two brought failing on yourselves for being incompetent.
 * Ju Long: Shut it, goat!
 * Tai Lung: (Appears with Junjie)...Are you sure we can do this by ourselves?
 * Junjie: Hey, if you could kick guard ass in the original verson of the movie, then you can fend off the guards easily. And with me, it'll be ten times easier.
 * Tai Lung: I just hope you know what you're doing.
 * Junjie: Of course I do, now let's go bust out your sister and that lizard army.
 * Two Guards were arm wrealsing by the gate when suddenly the door was kicked open and smacked the two out!
 * Tai Lung and Junjie charged forword!
 * Rhino Guard Commander: Well, well, if it isn't Junjie and Tai Lung. Back to turn yourself in--(Tai Lung kicks him in the crotch) OOOHHHH!!!
 * Tai Lung: Like HELL I am! We're here to bust out my sister and Fing and there's nothing you can do to stop us! (They leave)
 * Rhino Commander: (Blows a whistle and alerts the guards to attack)
 * Junjie: GUARDS ARE COMING! (The guards charged, and they both beat them up easily, and managed to make it to the cafeteria, punching a hole in the wall)
 * Dai Song: What the--What was that?
 * Tong Fo: I do believe Tai Lung and Junjie have come to break us out.
 * Tai Lung: (Grabs Tong Fo by the neck) OH NO WE'RE NOT! We're only here for a few people! You guys can break out on your own!
 * Fung: WHAT?!? You'll need an army with whatever you're planning.
 * Junjie: SHUT UP, CROC-FACE!! It's none of your beeswax.
 * Tai Lung: Is it true you're my sister?
 * Dai Song:...Tai Lung, is that you?
 * Tai Lung: Uh...yeah it's me, why wouldn't I be?
 * Junjie: Tai Lung, I told you she's blind.
 * Tai Lung: Oh, right. Fing, you and your kin are coming with us.
 * Fing: WHAT?!? Why? I may not be very fond of prison, but that doesn't mean I'll go back to being-
 * Junjie: "That is why I brought this."
 * Junjie carries a bag of corruption powder.
 * Fing: "Uh... A bag of dust? Just how exactly is that gonna somehow coherse me to-" (Junjie blows the powder on him, as he coughs in it, his eyes turn red)...Okay, I'm in!
 * Tai Lung: Wow, that was easy.
 * Undertaker: Phhbbt, sure it was! (Junjie smacks him to the ground)
 * Dai Song: Can you cure my blindness, dear brother?
 * Ju Long: (Laughs) Yeah, Tai, are you an expert of LASIK surgery? (Junjie bonks his head) OW!
 * Tai Lung: Let's just go! We've got some stuff to do.
 * An onbarone of Komodos being lead by Fin, Junjie, Tai Lung and Dai Song are seen leaving the prison!
 * Junjie: See? What did I tell you, easy as pie!
 * ???: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!! (Rhino Guards are seen pointing flaming bows and arrows at them)
 * Rhino Commander: Retreat back into the prison, or we're gonna make sure you surgically remove these arrows from your bodies....Not to mention these. (They get out some cannons)
 * Junjie: Relax, I can handle this!
 * Rhino Commander: FIRE! (The guards do that as the group gets out of the way in time)
 * Tai Lung: (They fire an arrow at him as he is watching Dai Song, and Tai Lung just catches it, and throws it back at them as they dodge it)
 * Fing: (Screams as he is being shot at) AAAAAAAAAAA--(Suddenly, Junjie pushes him down as they dodge cannon fire)
 * Junjie: Man, will you stop being a coward and fight?!?
 * Fing: I'm not skilled in dodging stuff like THIS!! The only martial art I have knowledge of is bandit style, and I can't even do THAT right!
 * Junjie: Don't you have a poisonous bite? Why don't you use THAT?
 * Fing: I had my venom glands surgically removed years ago.
 * Junjie: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHAT KIND OF KOMODO DRAGON IS WITHOUT VENOM GLANDS?! THAT'S LIKE NOODLE SOUP WITHNOT NOODLES!? WITHOUT VENOM, YOUR ASENTUALLY AN OVER-GROWN MONITER LIZARD, AND ...(Sighs) Sweet Beijing Province, what am I gonna do with you--(They dodge an arrow) WHOA!!
 * Fing: RUN!!!
 * Junjie: (Slaps him) I said no more cowardice! You know what, let me handle them! (He and Tai Lung fight off the guards, but the guards then try sneaking up on Dai Song and Fing, but Tai Lung and Junjie use trajectory to make sure the guards are pinned down by the cannons before they get them) Uh-uh-uh!
 * Tai Lung: (Throws a guard into another as he does a Wilhelm scream, and Junjie does a pinball-like move that strikes multiple guards. After a few seconds, only the Rhino Commander is still standing)
 * Junjie: Stay out of our way, fatboy!
 * Rhino Commander: RETREAT! (He and the recovering guards go back into the prison, but then a guard spots Fung and his other bandits trying to sneak out, and he gets other guards to tackle them)
 * Fung: DARN IT!
 * Tai Lung: Let's get out of here!
 * Fing: (Freezing) Yeah, you know reptiles are cold-blooded, and can't last a few seconds in the snow. (The other Komodo henchmen feel the same way)
 * Junjie: Then let's move!

Chapter 3: Jungie and Tai Lung's Plan Unfolds..... Kinda.
High Council Temple. Outside. Outskirts of a Bamboo forest in Dreamworks China. Flashback Present Villain League Fortress DreamWorks China
 * Zeng: "And that's what happened!"
 * Yen Sid: "(Sigh), It would appear that the lougers end up picking an inoppertune time to visit Equestia. The Leage once again made a successful break out of two prisoners, Dai Song and Fing Fung Fong."
 * Mama Odie: "Wait, but didn't he gave up on being evil?"
 * Ignitus: "Knowing the leage, corruption powder is likely to be involved. Fing is less likely to still process such a conspect with the leage around."
 * Volteer: "Well WHY are we sitting around and doing nothing?! We have to set an alarm!"
 * Terrador: "Agreed. And we have to hurry as well. Who knows what Junjie is doing now?"
 * Suddenly, the lights in the temple start to flicker!
 * Master Chao: "What? What is going on?"
 * The power of the Dragon Temple goes out.
 * Zeng: "Oh no.... THE POWER'S OUT!?"
 * Disney Fairy Godmother: "And I think I have a safe assumtion who's behind it."
 * Junjie's Leopards are seen with knifes that assumingly disabled the power.
 * Leopard 1: "Now, something curitcy of Mang's magic box."
 * The Leopard pulls out a strange magical orb, and uses it to trap the entire Dragon Temple in an unescapable red energy sheild.
 * Leopard 2: "Hopefully, Mang's High Council inprisonment orb works like a charm."
 * Leopard 1: "But we must stay here in order for it to be like that way. The effectiveness of Junjie going un-noticed by those misfits depends on us ensuring the High Council doesn't rudely interfear again."
 * Leopard 3: "So, we're stuck here until whatever result gets known to us?"
 * Leopard 1: "Yep."
 * Leopard 4: "Well why can't we just LEAVE the orb here and rejoin him?"
 * Leopard 1: "There's, a reason why Mang didn't actselly used it before. It has to be held by the caster at all times, and the caster must remain in the area at all times, or otherwise it stops working."
 * Leopard 3: "You mean it's another exspearimental joke of Mang's?!"
 * Leopard 1: "More like a.... Failed Exspeariment not meant to see the light of day. But Junjie already has an army of Komodo Dragons, so he's covered on having help. Our job is to make sure the High Council doesn't became a noonsence."
 * Leopard 4: "..... So..... Wanna set up tents and order chinese?"
 * Leopard 1: "Ok, I don't see why not. This would likely get boring eventally. Two of you set up the ping-pong table, you set up the tents, I'll put on a conplincated ruse on ordering take-out. Make it happen, team!"
 * Tai Lung: "Ok, now that we're away from rhinos, now what?"
 * Junjie: "Well, thanks to Mang's treasure trove of magic from that box of his, I found something interesting to remeny Dai's blindness."
 * Junjie brings out an hourglass filled with dark magic sand.
 * Junjie: "This is a relitively new toy of Mang's. It appears to be an hourglass with dark magic sand in it, I assumed the sand originated from the death beaches of Skullian Prime. The sand is believed to reserve the effects of any spell, any injury, virtually anything wrong with you! It can in throey be an alternate form for reserecting fallen Villain Leage members. In throey, it can reverse the effects of having your eyesight being taken from you by Miss Sparkle, Dai Song. Now, hold still, cause this thing may have some, painful tendingcys Mang magnifisently failed to correct!"
 * Dai Song: "I appresiate the offer, but I learned to live with this minor inconvincence and it bettered my kung fu for it. What your doing is un-nessersary and-"
 * Junjie already zapped Dai Song in the face with the hourglass! Dai Song started to scream in pain!
 * Dai Song flashes as a quick viewing of Dai Song becoming blind from Twilight as her face glows expenationally.
 * Junjie stopped the zapping, as Dai Song quickly recovered, growling!
 * Junjie removes the blindfold, and Junjie gets grabbed in the neck!
 * Dai Song: "YOU IDIOT?! THAT REALLY HURT?! I AM GONNA STRECH YOUR LEGS IN 15 DIFFERENT PLACES AND-"
 * Junjie: "BUT LOOK! YOU CAN SEE AGAIN!? You now can exspearience vision again, and have a combination of the empowered kung-fu from being blind, and be able to see again!"
 * Dai Song realises that from the fact she actselly is looking at Junjie, let alone from what he just said."
 * Dai Song drops Junjie as she began to smile.
 * Dai Song: "Well.... (Evil laughter), At least I can exspearience the joy of hurting that Panda for what he did to Tai Lung and turning Peng against me!"
 * Junjie: "Well, your in luck. I happen to have a plan on how all of us can correct the Panda's accursed influence on your son and turn him into the side of the leage! And if this goes well, you can get to see the final downfall of the Dragon Warrior."
 * Dai Song: ".... For now, you earned my interest. I'll play along with your games, but UNDER ONE CONDITION!?"
 * Junjie: "Oh rats, one of these things. Fine, what?"
 * Dai Song: "..... I'll only get involved aiding demon worshippers this ONE time only. After that, I want Tai Lung to be honorably discharged from your ranks, to leave all members of our family out of your little cult, and to leave me, Tai Lung, and Peng out of your demon worshipping games."
 * Junjie: "Just to be clear, WE'RE NOT A CULT!? We're not worshiping darkspawn as suppose to merely helping them out of a bad scrape with the High Council in return for unfortoldable power."
 * Dai Song: "Well, considering that you people are STILL trying to do that and NOT resume to do other ways to take over the world, it just feels like your a cult dedicated to them."
 * Junjie: "IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL?! It's just, it's also because Mirage, one of the leage's leaders, is trying to reunite with Malefor, her father. She's, pretty much the reason why we're continuiously singing those same notes over and over and over again."
 * Dai Song: "Well, cult or not, I prefer my family NOT to be a part of it! After my bloodline does this ONE faver for you, we want out of your demon lover escapaies, got it? Or I'm just gonna leave you and find MY OWN way to get revenge on the Panda, and I'LL be taking the lizards with me."
 * Fing: "Yeah, we're kind a pair. It's either her way, or the highway."
 * Junjie: "OK FINE?! I'll ask the Villain Leage Council to have Tai Lung's membership removed AFTER THIS IS SUCCESSFUL?! SATISFIVED!?"
 * Dai Song: "There, was that so hard, foxy?"
 * Tai Lung: "Oh don't tell me your serious."
 * Junjie: "Fine, whatever! It's a small price to pay for finally being right! Now, can I be able to explain my plan?"
 * Dai Song: "Ok, "master". Shoot. Let's hear your little plan against the Panda and his allies."
 * Junjie: Well, we hear that Peng, is opening up fight clubs across the UUniverses.
 * Dai Song:...I thought that stuff was illegal.
 * Junjie: The ban was lifted after the Jade Palace saw it as an opportunity to train people into defending themselves against bandits. Now, they're holding one in Equestria.
 * Dai Song: Really? Is that right?
 * Junjie: Well, I busted you guys out so you could be of some assistance to us. That panda turned your own nephew against-
 * Dai Song: Up up! Slight correction! He's my son!
 * Tai Lung: (Everyone is surprised)...You're serious?
 * Dai Song: Well, yeah! Why else do you think I hate the Dragon Warrior other than foiling my chance to find you a long time ago? I was locked up in Chorh Gom Prison when he was young because of what I did to find you, and while I heard he was looking for you too... I wasn't expecting him to claim that he was nothing like you.
 * Tai Lung: He knows about me, too?
 * Dai Song:.... Did that panda 'ska-doosh' you too hard in the head? DO YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION TO THE SERIES?!? OF COURSE HE KNOWS!!! HE BRIEFLY QUIT KUNG FU BECAUSE OF FEARING THAT HE WOULD BE CORRUPTED BY IT!!
 * Fing: Okay, can you be a little bit more specific about your past with your son, because I'm missing a step. I mean, I knew he was your son WAY prior to this, but I would like to hear speifiics on how that would make sense though.
 * Dai Song:...(Sighs) Fine, I'll explain...
 * (Dai Song): My family used to be bandits known as the Lung Guo. Me, and Tai Lung were all destined to be part of them. The only downside is that Oogway took care of most of the clan before we could be official members. Only our parents stayed behind and were able to escape while our mother was still pregnant with us.
 * (Fing): So...you're both twins, then?
 * (Dai Song): Faturnally obviously. Anyway, we were born in a secluded cave and were destined to carry on the lineage of the Lung Guo. Unfortunately, we were both separated when Oogway found us. Fearing for our safety, they tried to get us to safety by sending us both adrift in a river leading to the Valley of Peace, but they were unable to bring me to safety. While my parents were sent to jail, I was put in an orphanage, and I had no idea what happened to Tai Lung. It wasn't until I was 10 years old that I discovered my past after discovering my parents in Chorh Gom. I swore to uphold the family lineage and find Tai Lung, but...
 * Tai Lung's Mother: Don't bother, my sweet Dai.
 * Dai Song:...What?
 * TL's Father: Over the past few years, we decided that we can't risk our lives for all this crime anymore. That's why we're reforming ourselves, and staying here.
 * Dai Song:...You can't be serious!
 * TL's Mother: I'm sure your brother is in a good place in the Valley. It would be unfair of you to take him away from all that.
 * Dai Song: So you're saying that you don't wanna see him again?
 * TL's Mother: Dai, please understand, the criminal life hasn't been agreeing with us since we were sent here. It's best if you moved on and accepted a better life. We care so much about the both of you, and we don't want you to get hurt.
 * Dai Song: I can't believe what I am hearing! So you're just gonna turn your back on us? After all that I've been through while trying to find you?
 * TL'S Father: DON'T YOU USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH US, YOUNG LADY! YOUR MOTHER KNOWS BEST, AND YOU'D BETTER LISTEN TO HER!
 * Dai Song:...(Starts sobbing a bit)
 * TL's Mother: HENG!
 * TL's Father: I'm sorry!
 * Dai Song: You know what, I'm through with you! If you aren't gonna help me, then I'll find my brother myself, even if it takes me a hundred years!
 * TL's Mother: Dai, don't!
 * Dai Song: Forget it! I'm leaving! (Leaves)
 * (Dai Song): So that's when my quest in finding my brother had just begun. I took up residence in the Valley nearby and spent years preparing for the search. I even earned the sympathy of another snow leopard, and we got married with a child on the way. Eventually, Peng was born. But sadly... Thanks to a few crimes I did preparing for the search, I was arrested, and lost custody of Peng. So my husband raised Peng alone while I was sent to Chorh Gom Prison. I was never able to escape until that last Thanksgiving, and I was unable to find out about my son until word got leaked of Peng in that Peace Jubilee mess.
 * Dai Song: And we all know what became of me eventally. I ended up in service of an infamous elk lich that promised me to restore my family if I help him restore his immortality, only for him to wuss out in the end thanks to being too fearful of death. So now, not only has my only hope of upholding my family lineage been crushed, but now my brother IS A VILLAIN LEAGUER!!! And I know how horrible they were, and still are! I know how much crap they pulled on other worlds, and our world espeically! And now MY OWN BROTHER IS ONE OF THOSE MONSTERS?!? (Sobs a bit)
 * Tai Lung:...So THAT'S why I was rejected to become Dragon Warrior.... In hindsight, that kinda makes sense. He must've known I was part of that bandit family he disbaned and knew what a danger I was if I ever knew of them considering my talent in Kung Fu.
 * Dai Song: Yeah! And I was arrested before I could begin my quest. I lost custody of my own son, and now look where he is! You both are disgraces to your own families by both being like my parents.... But at least Peng is doing something decent in his life. YOU, are being part of a bunch of demon-worshipping pricks!
 * Junjie: HEY! What did I say about that!? WE'RE NOT-
 * Tai Lung: "Junjie, let me handle this. Look, Dai. Joining the leage wasn't exactly out of my freewill. A mutant cobra with a personally disorder sort've-"
 * Dai Song: "I'M, AWARE OF HOW YOU BECAME ONE OF THEM?! That doesn't make you any less of a disgrace! Your helping demon worshippers free monsters respondsable for a 1000 atrosities!"
 * Tai Lung: "Now Dai, as Junjie said before, we DON'T, worship the darkspawn. I mean yes, making statues in their honor, Malefor espeically, and the fact that we haven't given up on them by now is understandingly confusing, but again, Mirage is just being stubbern and overly determen to help her father. Also, that promise of power is sort've worth the continuious accusations of being a cult, even if it's a great annoyence and predictable tabliod bait encouraged by the High Council. But if it means that much for you, I'll consider leaving the villain leage on my own terms to rebuild our family. I'll give up on seeking out power promised by dishastor proning demons, just to re-establish a family. I don't have it so good with the leage anymore anyway, outside of two guys I'm friends with."
 * Junjie: "Oh now your not bothered by it anymore?"
 * Dai Song: "You'll..... You'll give up power promising demons, for me?"
 * Tai Lung: "Well, it started to feel like it wasn't really going anywhere anyway. I even doubt that Malefor is ever gonna be free again."
 * Dai Song: "......."
 * Tai Lung: "..... Uh, your abit, silent. Should I be concerned?"
 * Dai Song give Tai Lung a painful hug!
 * Tai Lung: "GOWOOOOOOOOW?! IT SEEMS YOU TRAINED YOURSELF GREATLY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE!?"
 * Junjie: You...YOU ASSHOLE!!!
 * Tai Lung: (Dai Song lets him go) What? Wouldn't you do the same if life was a cruel bitch on you?
 * Junjie: That's NOT what I'm mad at you for... Okay, maybe a little. But do you realize what Lord Cobra does to people who decide to leave the leage?!? COBRA IS VERY STRICT ON HIS OWN MEMBERS!!!
 * Dai Song: Oh, so you're backing out on me, are you? You agreed to give him back to me!
 * Junjie: No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that if Lord Cobra finds out, he's gonna have your head and just corrupt Tai Lung back into his old self.
 * Dai Song: Let him try! I know as much Kung Fu as brother does to kick that snake's ass.
 * Junjie: Uh...you might not wanna underestimate him. He's got incredible power.
 * Dai Song: I don't CARE how good he is, he is NOT gonna touch me OR my brother! So unless you want me to help you with your 'fight club plans', you fulfill your end of the deal. (Grabs Junjie's ear and yells in it) UNDERSTAND?!? (The word echoes in his head)
 * Junjie: (Gets dizzy)...Uh, sure thing. But on one condition-
 * Dai Song: I'M THE ONE WITH A CONDITION HERE, PAL!! NO BACK-TALK!
 * Junjie: This is an independent mission, lady! Cobra doesn't know about it. I plan my own schemes on my own.
 * Dai Song: Oh, yeah? And what exactly do you get out of it? Money? Fame? Power?
 * Junjie: It's best if all you know is that he'll have me turned into an ugly spitting creature if he finds out about this.
 * Dai Song: Okay, if you don't wanna tell me, then you can forget about the deal.
 * Tai Lung: He's just doing this so he can be treated better in the Villain League.
 * Dai Song: OHHH, is THAT all?!? That's a pretty crazy thing to get out of this.
 * Junjie: Hey, lady, I'm letting you have your own brother back here, and this is a one-time offer. So are you in or not?
 * Dai Song:...Very well! If it means I accomplish my goal, I shall accept your offer, regardless of the questionable things you get out of it. And I'm warning you, fox, if you cross me in the end, I'll make sure that the corpse they find of you THEY WILL NEVER RECOGNIZE AS A CORPSE!!
 * Junjie: HAH! Dream on, all Villain Leaguers that are killed are resurrected.
 * Dai Song: I don't CARE if you're resurrected, you idiot! All I care about is showing you not to betray me in the end! Either Tai Lung goes, or you go!
 * Junjie: I GET IT, I GET IT!!! CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY?!? (Breathes heavily)...
 * Fing:...Yeesh, calm down, will you? It's not that big a deal. But anyway, now that we've discussed her needs, let's talk about MINE!
 * Junjie: What?!
 * Fing: "Don't worry, it's not that big of a deal. I merely want Komodosious to be rekindised as a REAL nation! I would like for you to get your magic user to malmitulate people into seeing Komodoious as a real nation! After that, like Dai, I'm not gonna stick around with you demon likers after that. I only do bad things in the name of Komodosious and nothing else more serious then that."
 * Junjie: "........ OH, FINE!? BUT YOUR PEOPLE MUST SUPPLY WEAPONS TO THE LEAGE!?"
 * Fing: "Only as long you don't make us worship demons over it, fine!"
 * Junjie: "WE'RE NOT A GOD DAMN CULT!? WE'RE-...... OH, FORGET IT!? Can we start over and get to the part where we ACTSELLY TALK ABOUT MY PLAN!?"
 * Fing: "But we're still remembering our deals, right?"
 * Junjie: "...... YES, we are! I meant start over as if we already established the deals PRIOR, to the talking of the plan!? OK!?"
 * Dai Song: "Ok, ok! Now calm down before you pop a vein and get your fox blood over us!"
 * Junjie was doing breathing exsirsizes.
 * Junjie: "Ok, ok! I'm cool, calm, and collected. Now that we gotten a few minor things out of the way, can we PLEASE, PLEASE, talk about my actual plan?"
 * Dai Song: "Ok, NOW you can talk about your plan."
 * Fing: "Yeah, sorry for slowing down bro, I just thought we needed to establish something with us not interested to help demons and-"
 * Junjie: "Ok ok ok! We established you have no wish to side with Malefor! That's fine! You don't have to after we complete this! I just need your help, for this one, tiny, thing, and we can stay as far away of eachother to our heart's content! NOW, CAN I, EXPLAIN MY PLAN?!"
 * Junjie looks as if he's having mental relapses!
 * Tai Lung: "Ok, Junjie, calm down. We'll listen to your plan."
 * Junjie was twiching with teeth chattering!
 * Junjie: "O-k-ka-ka-ka-k-ak-ka KAY! It's for the plany plan!"
 * Fing: "Plany plan?"
 * Dai Song: ".... Did he lost his brain?"
 * Tai Lung: "Oh no.... It's one of his mental relapses."
 * Fing: ".... The guy has mental relapses?"
 * Tai Lung: "Well, you see, he was recovering from an obcession on trying to become the undisbuted leader of the lougers by usurping Spongebob, and Spyro as a tecnecally by Tman, to be on top of Shifu, and that's about it.... Not only was it rediculiously one-dimentional, and, ill-logical since the Lougers will NEVER actselly obey Junjie in a realistic standpoint, but it servely damaged his mentality. It gotten bad that we were forced to send him to a group to get that healed away. And, I think the stress of you guys asking for conditions of not being included into the leage and other personal things, drove him nuts cause.... He kinda wasn't expecting that... He has, surprisingly poor future hindsight. Now, he's gonna relapse into wanting usurp the louge leadership again through this plan formerly about just getting Peng on our side."
 * Fing: "Are you sure that's actselly gonna hap-"
 * Junjie: MUST...TAKE CONTROL...OF THE SHELL LODGE!!! MUST...FIND WAY TO...CONTROL THEM!...(Calms down for a bit)...Alright, guys, I'm adding a new phase to my plan. We're bringing Dr. Blowhole in this and create a mind-control serum for us to use. All we have to do is inject the serum into Peng, who will then inject it into the Lodgers when fighting, and Bob's your uncle, I am the new leader of the Shell Lodge Squad! (Cackles wildly) THEN I SHALL ATTACK THE VILLAIN LEAGUE FORTRESS HEAD ON AND TORTURE LORD COBRA AND TEACH HIM TO NEVER MISTREAT ME AGAIN!! (Cackles wildly)
 * Dai Song:...Okay, I think I'm better off doing this on my own-
 * Junjie: Uh-uh-uh! A deal's a deal! YOU'LL GET YOUR SILLY BROTHER BACK LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!!! (Cackles wildly)
 * Tai Lung: Great. Now Junjie is a lunatic again. I don't like how this is gonna play out when Cobra finds out. Speaking of which, I wonder how he's doing?
 * Cobra: (Getting a massage) OHHHH, OH YEAH!!! THAT FEELS GOOD!! OHH, RIGHT THERE!!
 * Makunga: (Whispering) How long do we do this for?
 * Galaxhar: (Whispering) Hopefully until Junjie is done with his plan. Let's just hope the lizard and Tai Lung's twat sister don't ask for so much that he goes nutso again. (Cracks Cobra's tail)
 * Cobra: AAAOOOOHHH, OOHH YEAH, FEELS BETTER THAN MA-
 * Junjie: THE LOUGERS WILL BE MINE?! (Cackles wildly as thunder claps in the background) Seriously, where does that come from?

Chapter 4: Peng's New Fight Club in Equestria
Equestrian Stadium (A montage goes on as the fight club is being set up as this song plays) Later... Later... Later... Later, again... Later. Later, again... Later, again... Later... Later, again... Meanwhile... Meanwhile... Frizzy Burgers Flashback. Present
 * Lian:...Wow, this is a BIG stadium.
 * Peng: Yeah, even the ones back home aren't as big as this. How do you ponies build these things?...Come to think of it, how do you build without fingers?
 * Applejack: Oh, it ain't that hard to build something as good as you can. This is the same stadium where we held our Equestrian Games last year.
 * Rainbow Dash: This could be a perfect place for you to hold your Kung Fu fight club.
 * Twilight: I agree, there's a lot of space out here.
 * Celestia: 30 meters to be precise.
 * Twilight: Yeah, that.
 * Icky: "Ok, let's get down to the business of kung-fu fight clubbing!"
 * Lian: Does this stadium have training equipment for martial arts?
 * Rainbow Dash: Not that I remember, does it?
 * Celestia: Of course. This stadium is used for the Equestrian Games, so it requires every kind of equipment appropriate for the games, and that includes Kung Fu.
 * Spike: Are you sure the ponies of Equestria can learn good Kung Fu?
 * Rainbow Dash: Well, yeah! I became a black-belt in karate when I was a filly.
 * Icky: How the f*** does a pony learn karate, let alone master it?
 * Sandy: Oh, you'd be surprised. I once knew this horse in Texas who learned spectacular karate. In fact, he was in the same classes with me. He became a black-belt in just one year. And if HE can do it, anyone can do it.
 * Lian: That's right. Anyone can do anything they set their mind and their muscle to it, even when it's physically impossible.
 * Icky: Well, I guess that makes sense.
 * Alex: Alright, let's do this...
 * The Fight Club is established in all of it's Kung Fu-y glory.
 * Icky: "And the Equestian Fight club is open for business."
 * Lian: "Great. Now, since I learnt that Equestia is mostly a peaceful world, we shouldn't really expect TOO much students here. Espeically that they also have flight and magic."
 * Po: "So I guess students would mostly be earth ponies then."
 * Applejack: "Most likely, but I hardly know alot of Earth Ponies that would like to defend themselves with something other then a good buck in the right place."
 * Peng: "It's ok. We know better then to expect something like this to be popular right away. You know what they say about a city not being made within a day."
 * Rarity: "Yes but still, it would be nice if Ponies got to know about this place more."
 * The Unicorn Council came in.
 * Shineflare: "You say you need some clientle, correct? Well, I believe I could be, generious enough to supply some, "students", if you will. I could abertise this place as the most greatest place ever, if you could do something the Equestian Guard, embarrisingly failed many times before with 5 recruits that are the most misfited, un-useful ponies ever."
 * Lian: "Ok, bring it on! They can't possability be that bad!"
 * Shineflare laughs gently and smugley.
 * Shineflare: "Get ready to eat thy words, pussy cat."
 * Lian growled.
 * Shineflare: "Presenting, Gaurd Recruits, Pocket Protecter,"
 * A nerdy Unicorn who's incredability skinny, wearing broken glasses that have rediculiously huge lences and wearing a nerdy shirt ahd has braces.
 * Shineflare: "Laudy Sheild,"
 * A fat earth pony barely able to fit his armor is seen eating donuts and an apple pie.
 * Shineflare: "Wacko Armory,"
 * A Pegicious Pony in a straight-jacket is seen laughing maniacally with a broken helmet.
 * Shineflare: "Chicken PLatoonia"
 * Nothing was there.
 * Shineflare uses her horn to bring out a shy and reclusive earth pony mare with guard armor from hiding, as she realises she wasn't hiding anymore and paniced!
 * The Mare: "EEEK?! LET ME GO, LET ME GO?! THEY'RE SO SCARY!?"
 * Shineflare: "And finally, the worse of these useless bunch. The disgrace of a recruit and the biggest underathciver in Equestia. Please give a big booserious boo, for, ugh..... Hopeful Grace."
 * A regular Unicorn male in guard armor came forth.
 * Mr. Krabs: "..... What's wrong with that guy?"
 * Shineflare: "Yes, Hopeful.... Show them what is wrong with you."
 * The Unicorn Male sighed, then turn to his side to show that he had no cutie mark.
 * Celestia: "Shineflare, I thought your fully aware that we no longer discriminate blank flanks!"
 * Shineflare: "I know that! But here's a reason, WHY, he has no cutie mark! He's half something that CAN'T GET ONE?!"
 * Mr. Krabs: "He looks pretty normal to me."
 * Shineflare: "That's because he's wearing armor! HOPEFUL, TAKE OFF THAT UNDESERVING TAINTED ARMOR OF YOUR DISGRACE FATHER NOW?!"
 * Hopeful Grace, the unicorn, sighed sadly, as he take off the armor.
 * Everyone gasped to see that he's not a normal unicorn at all, but he's a Unicorn dragon hybreed, as he has dragon wings.
 * Shineflare: "BEHOLD THE DISGUSTING HORROR OF THE UNHOLY UNION OF PONY AND DRAGON!?"
 * Icky: "Wait, so, Ponies and Dragons CAN fuck each-other. Oh, I know Spike will like this."
 * Shineflare: "NOT, exactly like that. THANK THE ALICORNS IT'S NOT!? His mother was a disgusting abominable exspeariment of Genesis by that twat Dr. Fruit Salad by making "Pony Dragons". He dared claimed it would create a new pony tribe that can protact us from dangers the elements could not! BLASFOMUS!? I would've had Fruit Salad and the Pony Dragons killed if it wasn't for Celestia!"
 * Icky: "Gees, your not even forgiving to hybreeds, huh?"
 * Iago: "Ok, I guess why the first 4 are here. First guy's a weakling nerd, second guy's just, fat, 3rd girl is just NUTS! and the 4th Girl makes Fluttershy look like Rainbow Dash. But what did the "Dragon Pony" guy do?"
 * Shineflare: "You mean outside of existing?"
 * Po: "Ok now your just being REALLY really mean!"
 * Shineflare: "Well if you MUST know! Cause he's half dragon, he is likely to have a dragon's sinful greed, and DANGERIOUS temper! He attacked a drill sargent furoiously for trying to turn cowerdly little Platoonia into a proper soldier! He burned the sargent's tail off! It might never grow back! He's a monster and a disobedient beast!"
 * Twilight: "Just because he made a bad choice that doesn't give you the right to basturdised him like an afront."
 * Shineflare: "He's already an afront BEFORE he attacked the sargent. I am just trying to make you all properly aware of it. They're yours to fail embarrisingly now. Ta-ta."
 * The Unicorn Council turns and leaves.
 * Ttio: "OH YEAH!? YOU GUYS DON'T SCARE ME, I'LL BEAT YOU ALL STRAIGHT INTO HELL WITH MY TAIL CHEWED OFF!? COME ON COME ON COME ON?! (Walks off smug) Yeah those creeps will think twice before messing with us man, (laughs and high-paws with Frances)."
 * Icky: "Leave it to the Unicorn Council to still be a headache even when we beat them fair and square! Now our first guy's are a nerd, a fatass, a loony, Fluttershy 2.0, and someone who assulted a drill sargent for doing his job!"
 * Shifu: "Obviously this is an attempt to discredit the fighting club's ability to train ponies to defend themselves by giving us the most difficult students ever."
 * Po: "Well we can so easily prove that bitch in the office wrong! We can so show these guys kung fu! Remember Lu Kang and how everyone thought he was impossable to train?"
 * Shifu: "Alchorse. Your saying that if we just get them to believe in themselves, they can become accomplish masters?"
 * Twilight: "Great Idea, Po. It would do good to introduse ourselves to them."
 * Twilight walked up to the misfit group of Gaurd recruits.
 * Twilight: "Hello there, I'm-"
 * Pocket Protecter gasps!
 * Pocket Protecter: "IT'S A PRINCESS?! QUICK, EVERYONE, SALUTE IN RESPECTHHH!?"
 * Pocket, A suddenly realising Laudy, A finitgy Platoonia, and Hopeful saluted!
 * Wacko was too busy laughing to even notice.
 * Twilight: "..... Wow, they are guard recruits alright. At ease guys, I was just trying to introduse myself."
 * Hopeful: "We already know about you, your majusty. Your the princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle."
 * Twilight: "Well, your not offitcally guards yet, so, you don't have to act like guards."
 * Pocket Protecter: "Oh, more like never. We're the most useless guards ever. Wacko didn't even salued."
 * Hopeful: "Well, I'm sure you heard that mean pony Shineflare introduse our names so, introducteries from us are un-nessersary."
 * Twilight: "That's ok, but let me introduse you to most of everyone else."
 * Twilight:...And that's about everybody.
 * Shifu: Well, people, if you wanna learn how to be good soldiers, you need the skills to make it possible. Perhaps Kung Fu can be the perfect answer.
 * Pocket: "Wait. Is that anamonly possable for us in the equine order to preform martical arts? Or, any qoudiped for that matter? Biologically speaking, performing any martical arts requires hands and feet to work in co-ordinated-"
 * Bill: "Easy there sport, before you go Wain the Gecko on us, hear us out."
 * Po: "All you have to do is believe in yourself, and anything is possable."
 * Hopeful: "Nice thought, but I don't think if even a nerd, a gluttonious pony, a pony of questionable mentality, a pony incredability shy of everything, and an outcast can't learn from the finest intructers of the Pony Guard, not even some of the finest heroes of the universe can help us."
 * Icky: "Don't let jerkos like Shine-fart and the doubters you dealt with put ya down. Anyone can be greater then they look if they can over-come it."
 * Platoonia: How?
 * Pinkie: You just do it, silly!
 * Rainbow Dash: Yeah. It's not that hard to do.
 * Hopeful: Easy for you to say, you're reputation goes pretty far. You're so brave, it's pretty hard for us to agree with you.
 * Rainbow Dash: (Sighs) Really? Is THAT what you have to say?
 * Iago: No wonder these guys are here, they're just incompetent.
 * Spyro: Iago! Don't be rude!
 * Shifu: None of that matters. We shall show them what it takes to be perfect even if it kills us.
 * Peng: Well, let's get started.
 * Lian: (With Platoonia in the ring) Alright, since you're pretty shy, I'll go really easy on you. I'll just do the moves slowly and see what you'd do.
 * Platoonia: (Gulps) I don't see how that makes me feel any better.
 * Lian: It's okay. Just relax. Now let's get started. Are you ready?
 * Platoonia: I don't know.
 * Lian: Well, I guess we'll do it anyway. (Slowly does Kung Fu move, but Platoonia screams and runs off)
 * Platoonia: I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!!
 * Lian: (Taken back by that)...Why did you even join the Royal Guard, anyway?
 * Platoonia: Because I wanted to feel brave for the first time. But I just can't do it.
 * Lian: Yes you can! You just do it. No matter what weight, height or might, all members fight. So let's continue with this-- (Platoonia runs off)...(Sighs)
 * Peng: (With Wacko) How much do you know about fighting?
 * Wacko: Well, I hit a guy with a rock once. Does that count as a good skill?
 * Peng:...Not really, but I was thinking more among the lines of martial arts.
 * Wacko: Well, I haven't actually painted marshlands before, nor can I paint anything.
 * Peng: (Confused by that)...I mean fighting skills!
 * Wacko: Oh, well, I don't know anything except for this one time where I threw a rock at someone.
 * Peng: You said that.
 * Wacko: Oh, right.
 * Peng: Do you know anything about other martial arts like karate or ninjitsu?
 * Wacko: I don't know a single thing.
 * Peng: Wow, then how did you even become a member of the Royal Guard?
 * Wacko: I don't know, dumb luck, I guess.
 * Peng:...(Sighs) Can you fight at ALL?!?
 * Wacko: Well, yeah, I can throw a rock at someone.
 * Peng: You said that twice!
 * Wacko: Oh, yeah, of course. So, uh, where are the rocks?
 * Peng: (Sighs)
 * Shifu: (With Hopeful) How much do you know about fighting?
 * Hopeful: Oh, just a little. I may have the strength of a dragon, but I am sometimes little on formal training. I am able to get through obstacle courses, but I don't even know how to use a spear.
 * Shifu: "Then you must learn to take your inhered Dragon abilities to a full advantage."
 * Hopeful: "I tried that once to defend Platoonia from that abusive sargent, and, well, look where it got me. It got an abusive councilpony on my back and on my case for being, and I qoute: "hidious abomination". Just, what gives that unreasonable bitch the right to treat me so poorly like that? Doesn't she have a heart, or know how to love?"
 * Shifu:...Well, she doesn't have a good past, actually. She was once a slave for some griffins, and she believes that races aren't very redeemable for the qualities that make them 'unworthy' of being trusted. We all feel the same way about discrimination.
 * Hopeful: She seriously thinks that just because dragons and griffins have had a bad habit of being aggressive and greedy, that they deserve to be treated the exact same way? Why would people let her get away with stuff like that?
 * Shifu: Because she's right for one thing, ponies shouldn't suffer. But the problem is that she thinks that non-ponies should suffer what she suffered and see how they liked it. That just gives dragons and griffins better reason to treat ponies badly. Why else do you think dragons are hostile to ponies? You know, outside of just being terratorial for some.
 * Hopeful: "..... I see what you mean. I never thought of her like that. Well, surely if he realises that making people suffer like she did is not gonna work in the way she hopes, she'll stop."
 * Shifu: "Such a thing, while ideal, won't nessersarly work. Shineflare would in throey learn to let go of the past, but it may not be in this day, week, month, and it's certainly doubtful it'll be this year."
 * Hopeful: "I see...... Is it possable to at least show her that I'm not the abomination she thinks I am?"
 * Shifu: "It had to be an incrediable feat to make her over-look your linage."
 * Hopeful: ".... Well.... I hope becoming the first pony, well, dragon pony, to learn become a guard and kung fu master."
 * Shifu: "It might not nessersarly stop her disrespect, but she will, begrudingly acknowlage your popularity, so there's always that."
 * Hopeful: Well...that does make a lick of sense.
 * Shifu: Now, let's begin with our session. If you know a bit about fighting, let's see how much you know. (Does a Kung Fu stance)
 * Hopeful: Uh...you're gonna go easy on me, right?
 * Shifu: Of course. You'd have to be a complete jerk to go full-force on anyone who fights like an idiot.
 * Hopeful:...Okay. (Shifu jump-kicks Hopeful, and he stands up and blocks him, and the two get on the ground with Hopeful covering his weak spots when Shifu makes it there)
 * Shifu: Not a bad move. At least you know how to block attacks. Can you actually do an attack?
 * Hopeful: Yeah, but I think they're pretty weak.
 * Shifu: Let me see your punch then. (Hopeful attacks Shifu, and it's actually quick enough to hit him, sending him straight into the obstacle course where his confused and off-guard focus causes him to go through the same stuff that Po does when stuck in the obstacle course, and the camera is on Hopeful and Po as they watch Shifu) Whoa, whoa, whoa--OOOHHH!!! (The pain goes on until it stops in 10 seconds as Shifu crawls out weak and confused)...You call THAT weak?
 * Po: (Scoffs)
 * Hopeful: Hey, I never actually tried it on someone, so I had no idea it was that powerful.
 * Shifu: Well...at least there's a good quality for you to be trained with.
 * Hopeful: Gee, thanks, Master Shifu.
 * Tigress: You okay, Master?
 * Shifu: Yes, nothing that serious occurred..... Does this feel, oddly familier to anyone?
 * Po: "You could say that...."
 * Pocket Protecter was struggling with a simple spear.
 * Viper: "Goodness. Even the lightest spear we have is too much?"
 * Pocket: "I can't help it. I was born from a long, dissapointing line of fragle and meek Unicorns. Our compinsation was our genius minds."
 * Viper: "Well, there's nothing wrong with having a brain and the ability to think things through, but there will problems that can't be reasoned with logic. Some threats only understand force. And you need to balence yourself with force."
 * Pocket: "Why did you think I became a guard? I was hoping they can beef me up so I can show some old bullies a lesson!"
 * Viper: "Well, being a guard AND knowing Kung Fu has to be above seeking revenge and misguided self-justice. There's those that relie on you to protect hem from harm. Ergo, your name's "Pocket Protecter"."
 * Pocket: "(Finally drops the spear) Well, to tell you the truth, I'm also doing this to honor the family name in my mother's side. My mother is a retired grand commander due to being perimentally drained of magic by magi parasites from illness wraiths. Sadly, my brother and 3 sisters already got their own lives to live, so, I had to be the one who honors a legacy. Why does it always have to be me?"
 * Viper: Oh, that's pretty bad.
 * Icky: Seriously, this guy can't even lift a spear because of his skinny body! FOR GOD'S SAKE, DUDE, EAT A BURGER!! (Viper smacks him through a wooden piece of equipment, getting his head stuck) AAAAA-HA-HAH!! AS MUCH AS I HATE BEING CRUSHED BY SOMETHING, I HATE BEING STUCK IN SOMETHING JUST AS MUCH!!!
 * Viper: Icky, I told you to be nice to the recruits here.
 * Icky: (Sighs) PLEASE don't remind me. First you get me stuck in a tree because of a joke about your relationship with Sir Hiss, and NOW you get me in the same situation just because I was giving this poor guy some healthy advice so he doesn't suffer from anorexia!
 * Viper: (Looks angrily at him)
 * Icky: Okay, I'm sorry! Are you happy now?
 * Viper: Say it like you mean it, feathers! AND say it to Pocket!
 * Icky: HOW CAN I SAY IT LIKE I MEAN IT WHEN MY HEAD IS STUCK IN A F****** STAND?!?
 * Pocket: (Looks sad, making Icky feel guilty)
 * Icky:...Okay, I'm sorry, man! PLEASE don't torture me with those crocodile tears. I had no idea you were sensitive about your body. What I said wasn't meant to be an insult, alright? Geez, the nerve of some people! (Viper smacks part of the stand) AAAAA-HA-HAH!!! NOT SO CLOSE NEXT TIME!! (Viper does it again, and a part of the stand is stuck on Icky's neck) Now look what you've done! How're you gonna fix this?
 * Pocket: Allow me. (Uses physics and an abacus to calculate things about the wood stuck on Icky's neck)...Hmm, it would seem that removing this thing would require some thinking.
 * Viper: I'll take care of it, Pocket, you don't have to--
 * Pocket: Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh! I insist! Using some Kung Fu could end up hurting his throat, or worse. It would appear that this require constant medical care. Let's see...(Takes out some science tools)...if I can calculate the exact length and width, and...
 * Crane: (He comes along, and as he talks with Viper, Pocket is constantly saying 'blah blah blah') How's Pocket going?
 * Viper: Apparently, he's trying to remove a piece of wood from Icky's neck.
 * Crane: (Sighs) Again?
 * Viper: Yeah. Pocket's really indulging himself with this, not that I admire his knowledge of math and science.
 * Pocket:...and when I subtract the length with the length from the neck area...(Uses a file to cut open the wood, and get it off of Icky's neck) Presto, he's free!
 * Icky:...You guys heard him saying 'blah blah blah', right? Not meaning to be forth-wall worthy like Pinkie Pie, but-
 * Pocket: "At least my strengh comes from being a genius..... But it's not gonna do great in being a guard, a position meant for strong bodies."
 * Crane: Have you considered eating more?
 * Pocket: Yeah, but my parents haven't bought big stuff like fattening foods. That's one of the reasons why we're so skinny. It also comes from being a vegetarian.
 * Icky:...So you've never had junk food before?
 * Pocket: Not a bite!
 * Icky: Wow, why didn't you become a fitness trainer? You put those who want to lose weight to shame with that habit.
 * Viper: Icky, you should really be careful with what you say.
 * Icky: Well, he does!
 * Pocket: "Tecnecally, I'm still not in a healthy condition. Ponies need to have the right amount of waight to be considered healthy. Not too think, and not to thin.... Unless your a female super model."
 * Crane: Well, I may not know much about biology, but I do know that even with little muscles, you can master good Kung Fu. All you have to do is build them up so you can lift something like a spear. So are you willing to give the spear another shot?
 * Pocket: Well...I guess so.
 * Crane: Okay. (Hands Pocket the spear, but when he lets go, Pocket falls to the ground)...(Sighs) This is gonna take some time.
 * Po: (He is with Shield)...How much do you know about fighting?
 * Shield: Well, not much. I can't remember my last martial arts lesson since I quit.
 * Po: You quit doing martial arts? Why?
 * Shield: I don't know. It was pretty rigorous, I suppose.
 * Po: Dude, martial arts are amazing! I mean, if you think martial arts training is so stressful, then why are you here?
 * Shield: I don't know, because I'm a recruit in the royal guard?
 * Po:...I guess the 'rigorous' thing is why you're not maintaining your weight.
 * Shield: Says the panda who eats when he's upset!
 * Panda: Now wait a minute, that's a little uncalled for!
 * Shield: Well, it's true.
 * Po: Okay, I'm different from you because I at least exercise. I go through training a lot, and maintain a proper weight. Sure I eat a lot, but I also fight a lot. I eat 24-7, I fight 24-7. So there's no problem with that for me. Maybe you should feel the same way, and stop thinking about eating for once.
 * Shield: (Burps, and Po is disgusted by the smell) Excuse me. (Eats a chocolate bar)
 * Po: (Sighs) Are you at least going to show me how much you learned before you quit the classes?
 * Shield: Well, I guess so.
 * Po: Okay, here we go! (Walks up to him, and then punches him in the chest, and Shield bounces like the dummy and hits him, getting him stuck in the obstacle course and going through the same pain Shifu did earlier)
 * Shield:...(Po crawls out of the obstacle course)...I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
 * Po:...Wow!...You're even more of an opponent than the dummy back in the Jade Palace.
 * Shield: (Chuckles) And I didn't even have to make a move.
 * Po: Yeah...(Faints in exhaust)
 * Celestia: I'd say this training program is going well.
 * Shifu: I couldn't agree more. I found out that Hopeful's dragon prowess could prove to be useful in training him.
 * Po: Shield was a killer! He packs a punch just as strong as that of the dummy back at the Jade Palace.
 * Lian: Platoonia isn't doing very well, I'm afraid. She won't even give herself into touching the training dummies without having to run away.
 * Peng: Wacko was a tough one, too. She's too difficult to talk with.
 * Crane: Pocket has the potential to become a Kung Fu master, and I gave him the option of having to build up his small muscles by trying to lift heavy objects as slowly as possible.
 * Twilight: Well, at least it's good to know that some of the recruits here are going rather well. Wacko, Platoonia and Sheild obvious need to be lead in the right direction.
 * Pinkie: Yeah! I say this calls for a party!
 * Rainbow Dash: I think it's best if we save the party for later, Pinkie!
 * Pinkie: Ohh...okay.
 * Mantis: "Well, why don't we train sheild like how Po was trained? The big horse OBVIOUSLY likes food, so it might motivate him to move his gut more."
 * Po: "That could work. And maybe Platoonia needs to learn some self-assertiveness and toughness like Fluttershy did once when she saw Iron Will.... Only we have to make sure Platoonia doesn't over done it LIKE Fluttershy."
 * Fluttershy blushed.
 * Fluttershy: "I was relitively new to standing up for myself at the time."
 * Icky: "But what about the crazy pony? How does one get someone loopy like her to acknowage martical arts?"
 * Peng: "That would diificult considering talking to her is like talking to an easily confused child."
 * Patrick: ".... Oh, OH! I know! If Wacko's like a child, maybe you can award her with nice things to do that kung foo stuff!"
 * Squidward: "It's Kung "Fu" Patrick, and..... Actselly, that's actselly a realitively decent idea you have.... For once in a lifetime."
 * Patrick: What idea?
 * Shifu: (Sighs) Well, I guess we've got some good tips on how to lecture these ponies so they can make good in their Royal Guard business.
 * Lian: Well, if Fluttershy has a little experience in assertion, then I guess she could help me build up bravery in Platoonia.
 * Fluttershy: Me?
 * Celestia: That would be a wise idea. If she has the courage to try and reform Discord, and learn from mistakes with courage, then I'm sure she can work things out with Platoonia.
 * Fluttershy: I don't know.
 * Lian: Fluttershy, please? Platoonia is never going to learn proper assertion without proper guidance.
 * Fluttershy:...Okay, I can try.
 * Lian: Platoonia, I brought Fluttershy here to show you how to be assertive.
 * Platoonia: Assertive?
 * Fluttershy: Yes, you might need it if you wanna learn how to fight.
 * Platoonia: You don't seem to sound like the assertive type.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, but I am. I did briefly take assertive lessons from Iron Will a few years ago.
 * Platoonia: HIM?!? My mother took assertion classes from him years ago, too. But I was too scared to take classes with her out of fear of making myself look terrible.
 * Fluttershy: Oh, I know how that feels. Iron Will was generous enough to allow my assertion lessons to be free if I wasn't satisfied. I briefly snapped at my friends after assertion got the best of me.
 * Platoonia: Goodness, that's just horrible!
 * Fluttershy: It is, but don't worry, I'm over it. But I think you can learn assertion the same way I did.
 * Lian: Exactly. You do that, and being scared won't be a problem for you anymore. You'll have the impulse to learn Kung Fu and become a good member of the Royal Guard.
 * Platoonia:...Really?
 * Lian: Yes.
 * Platoonia:...Okay, I guess I could give it a try.
 * Fluttershy: Alright. Let's get started...
 * Peng: Wacko, what do you like more than anything?
 * Wacko: "Well, I always enjoy-ed to be with my folks and sister in Frizzy Burgers, a small, family own starting chain-restuarent. I may be loopy and silly, but if there's one thing I take seriously, is being with my family. I became a guard to protact them from mean punk centaurs that rotine harrass customers and my sister cause they like to! I hope by being a guard, they'll be a fred of me because I would be Mss The Law."
 * Peng: "I see. You became a guard to discourage hooligans from distruping your family's business. That's surprisingly noble, but, why didn't you reference it before?"
 * Wacko: "You just didn't ask the right questions, silly."
 * Peng: (Sighs) Well, what do you say...we go out to Frizzy Burgers if you listen and participate in this training exercise?
 * Wacko: REALLY?!?
 * Peng:...Yeah.
 * Wacko: Well, of course I would like that! What do we have to do?!?
 * Peng: It's just a Kung Fu training exercise. We'll start with a few--(Suddenly, Wacko manages to beat up Peng with amateur fighting moves, and Peng is accidentally knocked into the obstacle course where he gets stuck in the obstacles)
 * Po: (He and Shifu are taken back by this as Peng's screams of pain are heard)...Wow, that was unexpected!
 * Shifu: Indeed. Perhaps Wacko really will be easy to train after all.
 * Wacko: WHO'S NEXT, HUH?!? I WANT ME SOME BURGERS!!!
 * Po:...I guess I could--(He is suddenly punched in the face by Wacko, and the two begin fighting as Wacko is able to overwhelm him to the point where Po is knocked into the obstacle course with Peng)
 * Peng: I HOPE...THIS WON'T...BE A...RUNNING GAG--(Gets hit in the crotch) DAAAOOOWWWIIEE!!!
 * Po: (Knocks into Peng as the two come out and fall into a puddle of mud)...
 * Wacko: How did I do?
 * Peng:...That was...amazing! Where'd you learn that stuff?
 * Wacko: I don't know, I guess it was just a reflex.
 * Po: YOU CALL THAT A REFLEX?!? THAT WAS SOME SERIOUS FIGHTING!!! WHEN YOU FIGHT FOR SOMETHING, YOU FIGHT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!!!
 * Wacko: DOES THAT MEAN WE CAN GO TO FRIZZY BURGERS?!?
 * Peng:...Yeah, I guess so. TWILIGHT?
 * Twilight: We'll be back. I'm getting a little hungry, too.
 * Rainbow Dash: Me, too. All that exercising made my blood sugar drop.
 * Rarity: I wouldn't mind for something to eat either.
 * Spike: I'll go, too.
 * Twilight:...Is that everyone? (Everyone nods 'yes')...Okay, see you soon. (They teleport away)
 * Po:...MAN, can that pony fight!
 * Private: I wonder how Platoonia is doing.
 * Platoonia: (With a training dummy) Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over! (Tries bucking the dummy, only for the kick to be weak)...
 * Lian: Whoa, that didn't work.
 * Fluttershy: Try it again, with feeling!
 * Platoonia: I can't!
 * Fluttershy: Yes, you can! Like this, (With highest tone) TREAT ME LIKE A PUSHOVER, AND YOU'LL GET THE ONCE OVER! (Kicks the dummy with a moderately hard blow)...See?
 * Platoonia:...Treat me like a--
 * Fluttershy: Harder!
 * Platoonia:...Treat me like a--
 * Fluttershy: As hard as you can!
 * Platoonia: (Gasps deeply)...Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over! (Kicks the dummy lightly again)
 * Fluttershy: Oh, dear! (Face-hooves herself)
 * Platoonia: Too hard?
 * Lian: (Scoffs quietly) Maybe we should take a break, Fluttershy. I think Platoonia might need one.
 * Fluttershy: Yeah, you're probably right. It took me a while to get this whole 'assertion' thing in my head, and it looks as if it would take longer for her.
 * Platoonia: "I'm sorry I was disappointing, Fluttershy."
 * Fluttershy: "Your not disappointing. Your just a work in progress."
 * Lian: Yes. Nobody starts out perfect, you know. Now let's go check up on Pocket.
 * Pocket: (Tries holding the spear, but is still not working) URRRGGHH!! IT'S JUST TOO HEAVY!!
 * Crane: Just try! You can do it!
 * Pocket: URRRGGGHHH!! URRRRR...(Lifts it up perfectly) RAAAAAHHHH!!!
 * Viper: Nice work.
 * Pocket: I think my legs are starting to feel numb.
 * Crane: That's just your muscles getting used to the weight you've never worked with for years.
 * Pocket: THAT'S how it feels?
 * Crane: Well, yeah, when I was training in Kung Fu, I needed to build up my legs so I could hold heavy objects without them breaking. Crane legs are very fragile and can't hold a lot of weight without proper training.
 * Tigress: Yeah, he constantly has to break Po's fall when we jump off a cliff until he learns how to break it himself. Believe me, even I have a hard time lifting him.
 * Crane: And trust us, training in Kung Fu requires that something similar has to be done. And that means you might need to lift heavier objects.
 * Pocket: And you're positive that that won't shatter my bones?
 * Crane: If you were a crane like me, yes. And I had to take safety precautions when doing these types of exercises. As for you, your bones are much thicker, so they won't break that easily. But still, you need to know that thinner bodies means total safety when building them up. And I guess to start off, you'll need to lift that spear like it was a weight.
 * Pocket: Really?
 * Crane: If it was heavy for you, then yes.
 * Pocket: If you say so. (Lifts the spear like weights)
 * Crane: There you go. You do that, and you'll be ready for Kung Fu training in no time.
 * Pocket: Well, I guess the odds of me surviving something like this are 1/3. But I guess if a crane can do it, I can do it.
 * Lian: How's Pocket doing?
 * Crane: Well, he was at the very least able to lift the spear. And now his muscles are likely building up to the pressure of lifting it.
 * Icky: Still, how could a family like his grow to be so skinny? I mean, I've heard of anorexia, but he's lucky not to have suffered it, and hopefully he never will after this.
 * Viper: Icky, can you PLEASE watch what you say? Just this once?
 * Icky: I can't help that I'm a chatterbox! I'm more of a chatterbox than Deadpool!
 * Viper: Or Po.
 * Applejack: Or Pinkie.
 * Icky: Yeah, I get it.
 * Pocket: Crane, how long do I keep this up?
 * Crane: Just as much as you can. Not on impulse though, but just until your bones tell you that you need rest.
 * Pocket: Okay.
 * Lian: Platoonia is still a work in progress, but I'm sure she'll work out the bugs.
 * Peng: And Wacko is a real monster when it comes to fighting for something.
 * Po: Yeah! She gave us a real hard time with her fighting. I still have a pain in my left shoulder after that whole thing. (Pushes on it, and it cracks) AAHH!...Whew!
 * Icky: Say, where is Wacko?
 * Peng: She's getting some take out with Twilight, Spike, and Rarity. They'll be back soon.
 * Twilight: (She is seen eating sloppily like in Twilight Time as Rarity and Spike look at her disturbingly, and Wacko just chuckled at it)
 * Rarity: Oh, dear! Is that how you usually eat? That doesn't seem very, Princessy."
 * Twilight: "Well, I DID used to be a normal pony, so obviously I still eat like a normal pony."
 * Rarity: "Twilight dear, remind me later to teach you proper royalty eating edikit so you won't end up embarrising yourself in front of the Princesses and royal visiting rulers in royal dinners."
 * Twilight: "Uh...... Something like that, kinda already happened..... Late last year...."
 * On a fancy royal dinner, Twilight was sitting with Celestia, Luna, and many of the rulers of pony and mythic beast nations.
 * Celestia: "Twilight, you have a speical honor to eat with the many rulers of pony and mythic beast nations. Such an honor is sought after by many regels."
 * Twilight: "It's nice to see Dragkis and the other leaders of the mythic beast community here. I hope to make a decent impression with all of them."
 * Chef Ponies entered the room with food for the royalty.
 * Chef A-La Cupcake arrived with a speical golden dish sealed with a dish hider.
 * Chef A-La Cupcake: "Bonjour, Princess Twilight. As your first time eating with the same dignitaries that have ever tasted the finest of le food I provided, may I humblely present, what I have been told by Celestia to be your faverite child-hood treat...."
 * Chef A-La Cupcake places down the dish and opens it to reveil, an over-sytileised Gingerbread House in shape of Canterlot Castle.
 * Chef A-La Cupcake: "A Gingerbread abode. Like how your grandmother made them. But alchourse, I desided to be more clever then just make an actual house. I poundered for weeks on how to make the Gingerbread abode worthy of a princess, so I spent alot of time thinking about in my study-"
 * Chef A-La Cupcake started to say blah-blah-blah in Twilight's ears as Twilight looks with mouth agape.
 * Twilight: "Gg-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g--g-g-..... G-g-g-g-g-g-g--g..... Gingerbread Canterlot Castle? In alure to my Grandmother's resipe?"
 * Chef A-La Cupcake: "-And low and le behold, I have take pain stacken weeks to properly perfect on what is my masterpiece, I call it, Gingerlot! Oh wait until I explain on what I added to the project Princess Sparkle, I-"
 * Twilight was nosingly and violently eating apart "Gingerlot" like an animal! It surprised and kinda disgust the visiting dignitaries.
 * Minotaur King, Chulk Cogan: "Brother, that's messed up."
 * Dragkis: "Goodness. She really likes Gingerbread houses."
 * Griffin Ambassitor: "Oh, I say!"
 * Troll Ambassitor: ".... And people say Trolls are gross."
 * Sprite Queen: "My goodness! I never seen someone so fond of sweets!"
 * Queen Abigal: "For goodness sake Celestia, control your protosai!"
 * Celestia: Twilight! (Twilight stops to see everyone looking at her weird as she chuckles nervously)
 * Twilight: I apologize. (Wipes her mouth off with a napkin) I'm still learning proper table manners since I'm still new in this princess business.
 * Celestia: We are so sorry, everyone.
 * Queen Abigail: It's quite alright. I've seen royalty eat like that before on rare occasions.
 * Celestia/Twilight: Whew!
 * Twilight: So me and Celestia had a little chat about the whole thing later on.
 * Spike: Trust me, Rarity, she usually eats like this when she's pretty hungry. Just ask your sister.
 * Wacko: (Chuckles) A princess that eats like an animal! (Guffaws)
 * Rarity: I say, Wacko, that's not a very nice thing to say.
 * Wacko: (Guffaws) I love burgers! (Eats in the same manner as Twilight)
 * Rarity:...Excuse me for a moment...
 * Spike: (As Rarity leaves with her salad)...Twilight, you should really consider Rarity's offer to help you on correcting your table manners.
 * Twilight: I know, Spike, I know.
 * Wacko: (Burps loudly, getting the attention of the entire restaurant)...(Scoffs) Burps sound like monster pigs. (Chuckles)
 * Spike: ".... And her family owns this place?"
 * Wacko: "Yes they do... At least, until the mean Centaur Punks come in again and-"
 * Three Guy Centaurs in leather jackets barged in the restuarent!
 * Punk Leader: "ALRIGHT, ALL YOU NO ARMS OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!? THE BOYZ GANG IS HERE AGAIN!?"
 * The Maniger came in!
 * Manitger: "Can it not be today, Boyz Gang? My niece Wacko is here with speical friends, so for once, could you not-"
 * The Beefy Centaur Punk grabbed the Manitger!
 * Beefy Centaur: "Yo boss.... Want me to make REAL burgers out of this jokeass?!"
 * Leader Punk Centaur: "Let me think..... HELL YEAH! IT'LL SHOW HIM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SAY NO TO THE BOYZ GANG?!"
 * Wacko: "(GASP)?! UNCLE CRACKO ARMORY!?"
 * Manitger Cracko: "You hooligens won't be doing this anymore! Your doing your usual shenanigans in a bad time! Princess Twilight will-"
 * The Punk Centaurs Laugh hard!
 * Leader Punk Centaur: "Yeah right! Like I'm scared of a mamby pambi second banana to Princess Sun for a butt Celestia!"
 * The Punks laughed!
 * Twilight began to growl angerly as her mane begins to smoke.
 * Spike: ".... Oh no.... Not again."
 * Wacko: "Not what again?"
 * Leader Punk Centaur: "If there's one thing I can say about little pony princesses, is that they're the gayest, lamest, stupidist, and most worthless form of ponies ever conshived! In fact, Celestia is so stupid, SHE BANISHED HER OWN SISTER TO THE MOON FOR HAVING A BAD TEMPER TANTRUM!? She's so ugly, IT WAS NOT THE ELEMENTS THAT TURNED DISCORD TO STONE!? IT WAS HER GORGON FACE!? Celestia's so weak, SHE LOST TO A SECOND GRADE EVIL CHANGELING QUEEN?! Celestia's so stupid, she won against Sombra, BUT STILL LOST THE CHRISTAIL EMPIRE?! FOR YEARS?! And don't get me started on how bad she lost to Tirek.... No worse yet.... TO A THORNY VINE!?"
 * The Punk Centaurs laugh as Twilight is seen starting to have a mane looking as if it's about to ignite.
 * Spike: ".... Wacko.... We may want to.... Take cover."
 * Wacko: "Why?"