Oily on the Outside, Crazy on the Inside

Oily on the Outside, Crazy on the Inside is the 10th Episode of the 2nd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Crane's crazed great uncle Oily Joe always loved oil, but the prolonged exposure to it is making him extremely ill. Doctors arrive at the Dragon Temple to bring Oily Joe to Crane. The doctors tell Crane that Joe is on the verge of suffering greatly ever since his borned addiction from a long time ago when Crane was still a hacthling. The doctors also note that after examining his illness, they learn that Joe has been too contaminated for this oil obsession to continue. So they inform Crane that in order for Joe to be cured, he must not touch any more oil for the next 48 hours, or he will die. Now, Crane has to keep Joe as far away from oil as possible. But it will be difficult since oil can be found all around him. But what's worse is that Oily Joe has discovered that there is an oil factory 5 miles owned by Crane's brother Kevin's rivil Oil Tycoon Mr. Oilspill from the Temple, who hates Kevin's family for Kevin's ambitions to try and shut down all oil factories with renewable engry. He attempts to go after it, and now it's up to the Lodge, and the returning Kevin to save him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

Chapter 1: The Black Slime
Oil rig area. Cutaway
 * Workers are collecting Oil from the local dragon realms swamp, as a figure watches them from afar in his office.
 * ???: "Work faster! My industy isn't gonna keep itself alive you know!"
 * Suddenly, a strange looking crane is seen around the area. he stoles an oil barrol and runs away without notice!
 * ???: (Chuckles) Lovely oil!
 * ???: FASTER! FASTER, YOU SLOWPOKES, OR YOU DON'T GET YOUR RAISE!
 * Worker: We're going as fast as we can, Mr. Poozinhower.
 * Mr. Oilspill: What did I tell you about calling me that? I said call me 'Mr. Oilspill'!
 * Worker 2: Why 'Oilspill'? How about 'Oilsonhower'?
 * Mr. Oilspill: Because people would laugh at that, too. Now shut up and get the oil moving. (Suddenly a painful bird caw is heard) What the hell was that?
 * Worker: Maybe David got himself on fire again. Tell you something, it wasn't pretty last time.


 * David: (Prepares to pee on a fire)


 * Worker: David, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Have you seen Joe Dirt?


 * David: Never heard of it--(Gets caught on fire due to being covered in oil) AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Dubbed as Mr. Krabs) AAAH, MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!! MY UNDERWEAR IS ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!!!

Present
 * Worker: SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!


 * David: I'm right here, idiot!


 * Worker: Oh. Then I guess we should go see what happened. (Everyone heads over to see an oily crane with spilled oil barrels on him, and he is now stiff and pale)


 * Mr. Oilspill: OH, SHIT! Not Oily Joe again! He's been doing this since his accident! I told him to stop this mad craving for oil!


 * David: Uh, he doesn't look too good, sir! Should we get him to the hospital?

Cutaway
 * Mr. Oilspill: Yeah, maybe that'll teach him not to expose himself to so much oil all the time. I mean, the same thing happened to him during the Deepwater Horizon oilspill of 2010!

Present
 * Oily Joe: (Breaches from oily water in the oilspill while 'What a Wonderful World' plays, but when it gets to the 'What a Wonderful...') YAHHK! (Falls into the water, and sinks to the sea floor stiff and pale)
 * Fish: (Sniffs the essence of Oily Joe's oily feathers, and barfs off camera)
 * Mr. Oilspill: It took him a week to get out of that coma.
 * David: Well, he can't help it, sir! The oil he's been exposed to has made him mentally retarded to recognize the consequences of oil exposure.
 * Mr. Oilspill: I know, but he still needs to learn. Someone get him to a hospital! I think I know someone who might be able to help him.

Chapter 2: Oily Joe
Dragon Temple
 * Icky: "Aw man, That forth of July was something. It's ashame that we're gonna have to start going back to work again."
 * Lord Shen: "Well here's what concerns me. Tri-Corn allowed some little twerp named Mr. Oilspill to get recently discovered untabbed oil in the dragon realm swamps. For some, odd reason, he reminds me of that little jerk Aliwishious O'Hare."
 * Icky: "The main villain from the modern Lorax movie?"
 * Lord Shen: Yeah, that's the one.
 * Kowalski: Why would she do that? Doesn't she know what oil can do to a poor soul's body? It's not pretty, I'll tell you that. I know this seagull friend of mine who was involved in the San Fransisco Bay oilspill of 2007. He lost his ability to fly, and got eaten by a wolf. It also got worse for his wife when she was forced to get kidney surgery after she got exposed to oil, but it failed, and she died. Their babies had to be put in an orphanage without the care of their parents.
 * Private: That's terrible!
 * Skipper: You think that's terrible, you should've seen how hard it was for Manfredi and Johnson to save a baby duckling from the Exxon Valdez oilspill of 1989. Manfredi had to have a kidney transplant, and Johnson had a liver transplant.
 * Boss Wolf: DAMN! Are you serious?
 * Skipper: As serious as a heart attack.
 * Crane: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about oil any longer, guys, really.
 * Po: Why not?
 * Crane: I don't wanna talk about it.
 * Gloria: Aw, c'mon, Crane, would you just tell us? I mean, really, what could happen? (Suddenly doctors burst into the room carrying a stretcher with a cloth covering the body)
 * Alex: What the--?
 * Doctor: (To Crane) Are you Crane?
 * Crane: Yes. What's this about? (The doctors remove the cloth to reveal a sick Oily Joe, and Crane gasps) JOE!
 * Tigress: Joe?
 * Icky: Joe Mama!
 * Mantis: Someone you know, Crane?
 * Crane looks horrifived!
 * Crane: "He's, (barely struggles to fight off man crying), he's, MY UNCLE?!"
 * Other Furious 5: "WHAT?!"
 * Po: "WHAT?!"
 * Shifu: "WHAT?!"
 * Shen: "WHAT?!"
 * Kaa: "WHAT?!"
 * Nostagilia Critc (camio): "(This video.)"
 * Icky: "Don't ya just love a Nostagila Critic Camio?"
 * Devon: "Not me for obvious reasons."
 * Lord Shen: "What happened to this old bird?"