(Cutaway Gag, Sandy: Oh, trust me! Despite his mean thoughts now, he still cares for SpongeBob. Otherwise, he'd be like...)
(The Gag Returns, Guy: WE'LL SHOW YOU, OLD MAN!, Old Man:... Not this time!)
(Squidward: I can't believe I'm saying this, but...)
Bikini Bottom Recap
- ???: (As the opening theme played in the background)... Bikini Bottom! A city that once knew peace and love for all. Back in the early years since 2000... It was a good place for many to live in. But... It's easy to see how all that has changed. I've been distraught with what has become of it. I've watched it since the election of the last mayor. And it was as tolerable as it was for a while, but now, it is nothing but a cesspool of hatred and evil. Not only is everyone I meet a jerk, but often than naught, people who wrong others get off scot free while the innocent get blamed. Who in their right mind would wanna hang out in a messed up place like this? As the years passed, I have no doubt that this has officially become one of the meanest places I've ever had to sit in. I mean, just look at how much it's crime rate has raised. They seem to be blissfully unaware of their cruelty, believing they're being good people. Even the law enforcement is a little misguided. I've been present at trials where innocent people were blamed and I had to do a lot of discipline. I couldn't believe the police were acting like that. Heck, many people are starting to act stupid and moronic every day. I'm sometimes afraid to get home from work as a result of this. This is jarring, and hell, even creepy. This is not good for people, as if people let this city's impact get to them and be too weak to stand up to itself and only reinforcing the cruelty, making it worse, or flat out acting childish, this city is not only bad, but potentially dangerous to any visitors. But after what happened recently, I had to do a LOT! I had to sacrifice friends, had to fire people, and even send people away, because of one, little, thing! (The Apocalypse incident of 2015 was seen as everyone was insane)... This... Was... SICKENING! Everyone went insane and tearing up the place, all because there was, no, Krabby Patties! Now, I know the food is a relic to this place, and even I love it, but it is SICKENING, to think that people would act this idiotic and childish. One of my colleagues had killed another, and I had to fire him, AND send him to prison for that act. Heck, I had to do the same to those who do similar things. Everywhere I turned, people were stupidly acting insane for a stupid as hell reason! Where the heck did this come from? This, IS A JOKE, TO THIS GOOD TOWN!!! TEARING IT UP BECAUSE OF A PILE OF FOOD?!? THAT IS ILLOGICAL, RETARDED, FOOLISH, AND AN ABSOLUTELY DANGEROUS THING THAT HAS TO BE CORRECTED! People here are willing to do this, because of simple fasfood? Are you joking me? What kind of mayor would let this happen? What kind of idiot cares so much about an easy to replicate burger that they cannot live lawfully without it? It's senseless, and it makes us look AWFUL!!! And don't ANYONE, in Bikini Bottom, dare tell me, that the Krabby Patty is something that deserves respect. It, is, just, FOOD!!! If you love it so much, then marry it, you childish fanatics! You must respect it in a LOGICAL way. This... WAS ONLY HARMING IT'S NAME AS MUCH AS IT WAS RESPECTING IT!!! Justify it with whatever way you want as if this was a cartoon, but even if it IS, it is not called for....
Bikini Bottom City Hall
- Otter: (He was seen in city hall broadcasting)... I've choked on the nonsense of this city since the beginning. Everyone, I am not trying to offend anyone. I am asking you to grow up, and I am merely warning you that this is NOT us! Bikini Bottom has been RUINED by this chaos! We have just recovered it from the event in 2015, and yet I feel as if NOTHING, HAS, EVER, CHANGED! We need to step up, and bring more fairness to this city before it runs the risk of visitors being chased off and spreading the word of how cruel this place has turned. If this spreads across the ocean, then what's to say we won't be attacked by fanatical terrorists? What's to say we won't be threatened in any way? Where I was born, it was all but too late to fix what was destroyed. I'm scared for the well-being of those of whom I've loved in my first days as senator. That image was lost for years, and after choking on it for so long, I will NO LONGER STOMACH THIS MEAL! So, as your newly-elected mayor, there are going to be a LOT of changes to ensure we get back to what this good city used to be. I am establishing the Ottaway Act! From now on, stupidity in any form will not be tolerated. Those who commit it will be given legal action, no matter who it is. Anything considered unbiased or anything else will be dealt with lawfully and we will not hesitate to punish any who resist. Most importantly, if this food product has the tendency to cause chaos, then I have no choice in the matter. I am ordering that we have it sold commercially. If the Krusty Krab staff act irrationally about how these changes are detailed, they will be tried and punished. If it goes too far, even, I am gonna have to shut down the Krusty Krab for good. That means you, Eugene H. Krabs! I don't care if it's your property, you are known to extort the product however you wish. In fact, I will say this because it's gone unsaid for a long time. A person as cheap as you, should NEVER own something as popular as Krabby Patties, because the Krusty Krab has had enough controversy as it is. If this apocalypse should repeat history, then I will have no choice but to order a mandatory quarantine against everyone until a solution to this cruelty is done. I understand there might be discontent to some of you on how far-fetched the Act's measures seem, but know that I am doing what is best for Bikini Bottom. You want to be harmed by the cruelty here? I want to protect you. I care for all of you. I don't want harm to come to you. It's easy to get used to these changes. Believe me. Just know that this is for the greater good. This place has gone unenforced of it's peace properly for a long time, and I need to fix it so I can save you from the danger this cruelty poses. That is all. (Everyone hesitantly cheered)
- A guy: "PFFFFT! Ahhh, I'm sure that stupid mammel is just yapping his gums. He's no threat to us."
- Another guy: "Yeah! Stupid mammel!"
- The Citizens suddenly started to make fun of the new mayor.
City Hall Office
- BB Executive: Okay, Mayor Ottaway, I understand where you're coming from. New Kelp City was a GREAT place. Even New York City, how the local Treedome Enterprises employee described it, pales in comparison to what it used to be. But ever since the economy collapsed many times, it's just gonna be hard to make it better again. I know I don't have to remind you of how ruined it was since the bubble incident it suffered!
- Ottaway: Indeed. I loved the city when I was a kid. It was GORGEOUS! As a child, there was a BEAUTIFUL view of the flowered sky, and the city below. I loved the city, and hoped for the best. But as I grew up, all of that changed. Crime went up. Economy fell. Law enforcement was getting weaker. Now, it's without a doubt beyond hope. I don't want Bikini Bottom to suffer the same fate, just know that.
- BB Executive: O-Okay, I understand sir, but once again, I must implore you, that this Act of yours, as good-intentioned as it is, 'kay, is not only gonna take a LOT of sacrifices of freedoms, and anything within the boundaries of rights, but it is socially AND politically irresponsible, and our PR will take a NOTICEABLE impact!
- Ottaway: Well, you see, Executive Brine... I've tolerated this city as much as I could, and I put trust in it to heal itself. But it's clear it can't do that without help. So from now on, I must now live in a world of... Absolutes.
- Executive Brine: Oh, yes, I agree! As in, this is an ABSOLUTELY RISKY PLAN!! Okay, okay, I'll use a metaphor: It's like running an orphanage, AND THREATENING THE POLICE ON THOSE WHO ARE ACTING LIKE THEY ARE, CHILDREN!!! I'll be honest, this sounds like something a fascist yelled out in a meeting, and NOBODY challenged him on it!
- Seal Executive: Oh, why would they challenge such a practical plan, Brine?
- Brine: Because, it's practically GOING TO BACKFIRE!!! Mayor Ottaway, we are going to make a LOT of enemies with this Act! Not only are we heavily surveying MANY people in Bikini Bottom, but given the budget required, we're gonna have to sacrifice MUCH of what we like, and not just the Krabby Patties, but MUCH of our most PROFITABLE places! The Jellyfish Milking Factory, Goo Lagoon, Jellyfish Fields, THAT BIKINI BOTTOM MALL THAT WE ALL REALLY LOVE GIVEN HOW IT NOT ONLY HAS A LOT OF PRODUCT PLACEMENT AND FAST FOOD WE ENJOY, BUT HOW IT SAVED OUR LIVES IN THE BATTLE OF BIKINI BOTTOM, AND THAT LITTLE GOO TSUMANI INCIDENT INVOLVING THAT CRAZY MARINE IGUANA?!? As the head of Urban Developments, THIS IS THE MOST COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE SITUATION IMAGINABLE!!!
- Seal Executive: Oh, I'm sorry, Brine! We were just being people of logical action, while you were making that table coral tree in your office your WIFE! (He laughed)
- Brine: I'll make YOU MY WIFE, YOU SON OF A-
- Ottaway: Both of you enough! (They stopped) Our PR WILL take a noticeable hit with what this Act will entail. I won't pretend that this is the most benvolent act I ever made, but the alternative is to do nothing and let Bikini Bottom continue to rot as the joke of a city it is. And I know this is something neither of you wanted, espeically not you, Brine.
- Brine: "And by all means, I don't want Bikini Bottom to continue this direction, but-"
- Ottaway: Consider what had just occurred since 2005! People like the Treedome Enterprises worker HAVE been wronged by the dysfunctional government we had. At least Ms. Cheeks was able to fix it all herself. We've had far worse, I'll grant you. But do recall, that one of your brothers, was MAIMED in that Krabby Patty Apocalypse incident! His left arm is GONE! He's blamed many people for it, including you. So many people have suffered in Bikini Bottom. Everyone has been RIGHT UP MY TAIL, to make things better since they were well-aware of my campaign. But given what occurred on 2015, considerably the 10TH F*****G ANNIVERSARY OF THE MAYOR'S ELECTION... Then it's time to stop it right now! I am willing to utterly, and completely, make sacrifices for the greater good, no matter how many 'children' need to be broken. Everything has fallen thanks to the idiocy displayed by the people I had to lock up for their criminal behavior all because of a simple fast food dish. The only logical choice I have now, is the Ottaway Act. I am done standing by and letting Bikini Bottom continue to make an insult of itself any longer. Do I make myself clear, Brine?
- Brine: Yes sir.....
- Ottaway: Good. You and Sears are dismissed!