Budda Bboble Cripes
Vital statistics
Title Budda Carp, Budda the Martyr
Gender Male
Race/Species Glaring Clarp (Cymerrirose glarii)
Faction Union Against Religious Abuse
Description Cartoonish Land Survival, Sensitive to Beliefs with Negative Reactions, Mocking, Insensitive Behavior, Jokey, In Love With Xena the Lost Warrior
Skills and Abilities Aquatic Animal, Slippery Body, Slippery Swimming
Status Alive
Location Alternate UUniverses
  • Vagora (Location coming soon...) (Homeworld)
  • UARA Hall, Solomorn (Alpha Universe, Apirion Sector, Grindrion System) (UARA Residence)
Alignment Neutral Good

Budda B. Cripes, often called Budda Carp, is an Alternate UUniversal Clarp from Planet Vagora. He is a carp-like fish who lived in a religiously-focused freshwater lake where he was raised by religious parents until one day when he announced he was an atheist. His parents were utterly shocked and dubbed it 'the worst person you can possibly be', and he was upset that they were forcing him to believe in something against his will. When he refused, his parents informed their church, and everyone started to bother him, including his friends who utterly renounced themselves from his life until he stopped being an atheist, as their home was religious for centuries and even one point being an atheist was punishable by death. When this ultimately caused him to offend the religion and make fun of it in reaction to how much it had cost him, they promptly dubbed him a martyr and exiled him from his homeworld as even his parents refused to support him. Angry that his free will was ignored, he marched into the HQ of the Union Against Religious Abuse, demanding that they destroy everyone who shunned him because of his beliefs. However, Xena the Lost Warrior offered that they took a peaceful route and said that they couldn't do that because religion, like atheism, is a free right that people have the right to believe in without criticism, as well as the religen the planet believes in is otherwise benvolent and harmless, though tainted by this one problem hurting Carp over atheistsum, and insisted that just storming in and purging them would be a hate crime that would make Budda unlikable and putting people in the same pain he went through. Though understanding that the religen wasn't "Malevolent" or "Tainted" enough to justify harsh action, he felt the route the Union wish to take wouldn't resolve anything. Upon arriving to the planet, they discovered the true origin of the society's high reliance on religion being the head of the church, which it turns out was a rotten pike creature minister named Minister Gagmouth Headass XIX who, as it turns out, was an anti-atheist jerk who, cause of the planet growing to become more sciencetific while religen started to become an outdated philosify, he kinda blame atiestisum as the shorce of science uprising, so to keep religen alive at least in his community, he made being an atiest condemnable, started manipulating people with religen for personal gain and ultimately making them stick to religion no matter what and that atheists deserved to be shunned, even at the price of being the most hated community in the planet. Since this counted as religious abuse, the UARA had convinced the people that they were being idiots for listening to someone unworthy of the leadership of the church and lead to the people having the Minister impeached of his title. Despite his friends and families' sorrow, he was still bitter that he couldn't trust them anymore and left to stick with the UARA to make sure nobody goes through that hurtful violation of free will again. It was such a foul-hearted thing to happen to him that he still gets utterly insulted when people say in his face that atheism is wrong and you can 'go to hell for it', where it leads to him to get physical with anyone who said it to his face, even if it was a respected relijustus preist or other title. Heck, he won't tolerate that from a pope, even if he was being as nice about it as possable! He even does unnecessary mocking of religious people by dubbing their religious behavior as naïveté, including when people dub anything that goes on doing so for a reason, which often gets him in more trouble among other religion-related incidents. Despite that, he one day found it in his heart to forgive his family and friends, if though because that the community has since left religen cause of the planet's rising science craze, but also because he heard that Gagmouth died of a broken heart because of failing to protect the power of belief. Even dispite that Gagmouth was an utter twat, Carp does acknowledge that "He was a twat cause of trying to keep belief alive", and knew that he wasn't as bad as the other of the Union's enemies, at worse, he just went about the issue the wrong way. Feeling guilty, he and Union morned for his passing. The tragic end was great enough to get the goverment to make the planet combine science and religen and declare a new holiday called "Carp and Gagmouth" Day, a day in celebration that no one is to be judged for what they believe in. This gave Carp a new persective in life, and almost healed his personal wounds..... That's not to say he no longer gets physical when challnaged on his beliefs. He continued his oath to enforce religious abuse law, and even seemed to form an unspoken attraction to Xena that she still doesn't know about, coupled with the fact that he never had a girlfriend prior to even his pariah status because "He wasn't interested in a girlfriend" because he never saw a female of worth to him until he first saw Xena.


Coming soon...


  • (An example of his un-finest moments) "(Dignitary: THAT'S IT! APPETIZERS FOR BELIEVERS ONLY!) (Budda punches him from the table) NO! Screw you, asshole! If you want more appetizers, you pay for it with YOUR OWN money like everybody else, and DON'T use that religion rubbish as an excuse to get free ones, you big fat cheapskate! (Dignitary: "Wha, wha, HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YO-") (The Dignitary gets a swift kick to the crotch) (Dignitary: "OWIE?!") DON'T GIVE ME THAT "HOW DARE YOU" SHIT, YOU ENTITLED, SPOILED, RELIJUSTUS GARBAGE BELIEVING ASSWIPE?! RELIGEN MAY'VE NOT CAUSED ALL OF OUR UNIVERSES' PROBLEMS, BUT IT IS CONSIDERED A MAJOR SHORCE?! YOU'RE PART OF THE REASON WHY LIFE SUCKS FOR THOSE THAT DON'T MATCH YOUR IDEALS IN YOUR BOOK OF FAIRY TALES AND SENSIABLE PEOPLE HATE YOU FOR IT?! (The DIgnitary runs away crying like a baby!)... (Sighs) I swear, religious people are getting more abusive and self-entitled with that useless garbage every day! (All the UARA members look angrily at him)... What?"
  • "You think I LIKE to mock religion? Sometimes it can harm people, like those terrorists that caused Terror Month. They did it for their religion. Why do you think I take this seriously? I don't mean to offend people, because that's ludicrous. I only do it when religion makes people act irrationally. Not just because of Terror Month, but because many people have them define their life. You know my world turned against me because of MY choice of not BEING relijustus, so can you really blame me? If you were judged for your belief choices, I'm sure you'd do the same."
  • "Hell, some people can't be themselves without 'faith' and such. I knew this guy who considered everything he had 'meaning nothing without faith'. Really? That's something I'd laugh at. It's like people around me are ASKING to mock them. You don't need religion to feel whole. People have done the WORST of things in the name of their Gods. Why do you think the UARA was created?"
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