Emperor Lu Kang Part 4 is the 4th and Final Part of the 4-Part Season 3A Finale of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Thanks to Gazelle and Pang Bing, Mothlock was finally defeated and the land he was ruining freed. As such Mothlock was defeated and contained by the containment device, which unfortunately is being the only way Mothlock, or anyone else, like Pang Bing's sisters, can leave the Exsile Realm, will have to be claimed by the Lightflies to make sure Mothlock will never return. Fortunately, the piece of Pang Bing's heart was free from Mothlock's grip, and it returned to her. Though giving her a complete soul again, she is still in procession of dark magic and very great grudges against those that turned on her fellow cats of the order. Thus meaning that Pang Bing is not yet freed from her woes. And top it all off, the High Council stated that she's to be given louger membership and is to be made an Equinox as a means to cleanse her tainted magic, which could also help Pang Bing get her sisters back. But first, they must contain with the most impourent matter of all: Freeing Pang Bing from her processon of dark magic, espeically when there's concerns about it making her a flight risk. Shifu knows of something to remedy that. They must seek out an old friend of Oogway with an amazing power of Chi that can be able to cleanse and cure anything, even something not of these universes. A sage Sea Turtle named Hai Hoi. However, The Heroes, accompanied by Lu Kang and Ming, along side other imperial members, being declared a personal royal mission, apawn arriving to the sacred Monk Temple Hai Hoi lives it after many delays, it was reveiled that Hai Hoi and fellow monks are dealing with a problem of their own, the direct desendent of the emperor who wronged Pang Bing and her order, Lu Kai LXXII, and his private army of Yetis, who is going after Hai Hoi because he wants to learn Hai's great power so he can use it to take the position of emperor back to his line, as it was reveiled that he's Lu Kang's cousin, because he wanted to prove to the retired emperor that he can be a worthier successor by using the great chi to defeat his "idiotic klutz cousin" and prove Lu Kang's unworthiness, but Hai refuses to do so to protect the clearly unpure Lu Kai from becoming another Kai and Dai Shi, another Chi Parasite, as well as the concern that there is more to that then she expects. Enraged, Lu Kai threaten to turn people against Kung Fu and Chi like his ansister did to magic when Pang Bing's order refused to give him the power so he could've used it to congure all of the world of Dreamworks China. It's up to our heroes, and Lu Kang as emperor to put this black sheep of a buffalo in his place before Kung Fu ends up like Pang Bing's order. But they must be careful. Lu Kai is already an accompished Kung Fu master in a way, surpassing even Po's skill, and the yeti army goes without saying. Can our heroes congure a foul-minded hypocrite and an army of Yeti slaves?
Deadpool: (He was pointing his guns at the camera)... You gonna give me what I asked for?
Scroopfan: JESUS CHRIST DEADPOOL?! I know you were abit irritated on the last part taking some time, BUT PLEASE CALM THE JUNK DOWN?!
Deadpool: "IT'S A YES OR NO QUESTION, ENEMA BAG!!!"
Scroopfan: "...... I'm sorry, what?"
Deadpool: "It's another term for 'douchebag'."
Scroopfan:.... Wow, for a curse-word factory of a mutanted red ninja mercenary, that's, a surprisingly sofisicated word you have in your volcabulary.
Deadpool: "Ya see? I'm not ALWAYS an uncultured dumbass!"
Scroopfan: "We're getting off track, point is, it will be delivered as promsied!"
MSM: YEAH! We're gonna do it! Got all the paperwork done, so put the guns down!
Deadpool:... Good! But I WILL have the guns up for the entire thing!
Scroopfan: "Now, Deadpool, keep in mind that, it's the first time we ever DID something like this. I can't promise that it'll be a great first outing."
MSM: Besides, I'm the most-creative one here, (To Scroopfan) no offense.
Scroopfan: (Grumbles with a stern face) None, taken.
MSM: So I can SURELY make this work.
Deadpool: You'd better! These things are HUNGRY for blood!
Scroopfan: "Tecnecally, guns are un-sentent and can't think for themselves. It's pretty much why Gun Control and Gun Rights are such hot-topic issues and-"
Deadpool: "ENOUGH OF YOUR POLITICAL MUMBO JUMBO AND JUST GET TO THE THING ALREADY?!"
MSM: Here we go!
Recap, Short Version
Carolers: FA-LALALALA-LALALA- (Chesibelle and her goons ran over them, yet they were still alive)
Hissbert: HAH! We're naughty Grinches!
Chesibelle: NOT GRINCHES!
Sandy: (The heroes got in their way) Well, we got a few Grinches!
Chesibelle: NOT GRINCHES!!! (They took out her goons) AW, DAMMIT!!
Rudolph: Chesi, stop it!
Chesibelle: No! I wanna be like you!
Rudolph: Fame is overrated!
Chesibelle: No it isn't, it's cool!
Gazelle: Listen to him, it does things to you!
Chesibelle: Okay!
Rudolph:... Just like that?
Chesibelle: It's Christmas, yes!
Icky: Still?
Chesibelle: What?
Icky: MOVING ON!
Everyone was dancing!
Icky: "Un-nessersary to the plot camios galore and- (Sees Littlefoot and Friends) OH GOD NO?!"
Littlefoot: "We're actselly gonna be around you for the entirity of the multipart episode."
Cera: "Even though we would BARELY contribute to anything."
Petre: "We're from a francise with too many sequils."
Gricky: "I'm only back to may or may not of be able to use lines that didn't get to be used in my debute appearence litterally back in Season 2."
Icky: "Well here's hoping that's all of the crazy events we're gonna ge-"
Po: LU KANG IS INVITING US!
Shifu: AND HE WANTS US RIGHT NOW!!
Gazelle: NO! I WANNA BE WITH MY CURRENTLY UNSEEN FAMILY!!
Shifu: They'll cut off our heads, we're going! (They flew in the ship as comical sound effects were heard as they finally crashed on the KFP World)
Woo: What a weird way to make an entrance!
Gazelle: You guys are assholes!
Quack: How unprofessional!
Gazelle: Andate a la cresta!
Monkey: Hi, Ming!
Ming: (After beating up the assassins) Hi, pedophile!
Monkey: I WAS IN LOVE WITH AN UNDERAGED GIRL?!?
Icky: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo, that's rich!
Hu: You guys are weird!
Duke: That's the point!
Quack: I get your pain!
Gazelle: (Takes the poison) Really?
Quack: No! (She gets weakened)
Gazelle: WHY?!?
Quack: Because I am a clear bad guy and an example of magic-abuse. Whaddiya gonna do about it? (A blast was heard)
Gazelle:... You're dead!
Pang Bing: NOW I HAVE YOU!
Icky: Why is a cat villain in- (They were all turned into drones)
Pang Bing: F*** the producers, that's how! (MSM and Scroopfan flipped her off)
Hu: It was a setup! You're right, Quack's dead!
Gazelle: We'll manage!
Pang Bing: (As Gazelle got beaten by her) You'll NEVER manage against me! Wu Hu?
Wu Hu: I am a mockery of Chinese names! That's the joke! (Gazelle escaped)
Po: What do we do now?
Fu-Xi: (With other KFP fighters) Just ask!
Icky: Sparx wants to bang you like he wants to do to fairies.
Fire: Gross!
Sandy: (She kisses SpongeBob, and then the camera goes off and views the Imperial City as a splotch was heard)
Sandy:... YOU ASSHOLES OWE ME!!!
Gazelle: WE'RE OUT! (They blast off as the van controls went crazy)
Icky: What now?
Po: We get Eagle-Beak!
Icky: Are you serious?
Po: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M NOT SERIOUS?!?
Icky: DEADPOOL'S AT THE TEMPLE?!?
Deadpool: I'M AT THE TEMPLE! AND, I am hilarious, and you will quote EVERYTHING I say in this episode and beyond!
Pinkie: (She hugs him) And I'm his BFF, and you will do the same to me!
Po: Pang Bing is back!
Deadpool: Well, looks like Scroopfan finally-
MSM/Scroopfan: DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!!!
Deadpool:... Shot a-
MSM/Scroopfan: (They changed the setting before he could say it)
Deadpool: So what's the plan?
Po: We get Eagle-Beak!
Twilight: Are you serious?
Po: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M NOT SERIOUS!
Twilight: It's a bad idea!
Po: We'll be fine! (They got captured)
Twilight:... So, what do I win?
Eagle-Beak: WE CAN'T LET YOU LIVE! YOU KNOW OUR LOCATION, AND WE WILL NOT HELP YOU!
Duke: Qui will be endangered!
Eagle-Beak: I'm in up until part 3 starts! (Later) AAAHHH!!! SPACE FIRE-ANIMALS!!
Deadpool: (Shooting the cannon) I CAN'T FEEL MY EVERYTHING, BUT THIS IS AWESOME!! (They were blasted down, and Deadpool jumped with all the heroes except the flight-capable-ones in tow) I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYY- (He bumped his head on a wall, but grabbed a ledge)
Woo: Well, our ride's totaled!
Deadpool: But we're alive! (Trixie and the Thunderclaps were seen in the sky) Scratch that, we're dead!
Trixie: (Dubbed as Quagmire) Wǒ zhèyàng zuò shì wèile róngyù de Páng Bīng hé suǒyǒu tā de yúchǔn wú rén jī!! (Chinese: "I do this for the honor of Pang Bing and all her idiotic drones!!") BANZAAAIII!!! (They dived down)
Deadpool: THAT'S MY LINE!!! (They surround them with fire)
Starlight: Your mane is nice!
Trixie: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL-
Thunderclap: (Screeches loudly)
Trixie: AAHH!! MY EARS!!!
Thunderclap: Oh, I am DREADFULLY-
Trixie: HELP US!
Thunderclap: (He kisses Downpour, and another splotch was heard in a farther distance)... YOU ASSHOLES OWE ME!!!
Quack: MAGIC WILL PREVAIL! (He unleashes a magic blast)
Eagle-Beak: We're out, the heroes are being idiots!
Xerxes: When are they NOT? (Sgt. Crush oohed at that)
Twilight: (Later after the Penguins were cured) WE DO IT OUR WAY, ASSHOLE!!
Eagle-Beak: Okay! It was pointless anyway.
Kun Lao: Hello, I'm the previous Emperor, and a GOOD fighter! (He shows his entire army of fighters)
Wu Hu: Gentlemen? (They overwhelmed Kun Lao's army and Pang Bing defeats Kun Lao and shatters his sword)
Lord Shen: Wǒ zhèyàng zuò shì wèile róngyù de Páng Bīng hé suǒyǒu tā de yúchǔn wú rén jī!!
Kun Lao: Yikes! (He is rescued by the High Council)
Pang Bing: What the fu-
Kun Lao: I HAD HER RIGHT WHERE I WANTED HER!!
Celestia: No you didn't!
Kun Lao: You're right, I didn't!
General Tsin: (At Quack's valley) CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (They got captured quickly)...
Lu Kang:... Good work, team!
Icky: Is that being stupid or sarcastic?
Lu Kang: What's sarcasm?
Icky: AND there's my answer!
Pang Bing: You got the heroes?
Quack: They're in the dungeon!
Pang Bing: No they're not!
Quack: DAMMIT!! (They were rescued by the High Council)
Lu Kang: Hello, Grandfather!
Kun Lao: S'up?
Pang Bing/Quack: ATTACK!!! (They fought them)
Fu Bu: I AM THE MERCENARY KING, AND I EAT FAN-BUTT BIRDS LIKE YOU FOR LUNCH!!
Deadpool: OH, S***, YOU PRESSED THE SHEN BUTTON!!
Fu Bu: The wha- (He was launched off in the distance)
Lord Shen: NEVER CALL ME THAT!!!
Deadpool: UH-OH, HERE COMES MY ASSHOLE FORMER FRIENDS AND TWO OTHER GROUPS!! (The three hero teams came in as the Frog Hunters, Brer Bear and Fox, and Doofenschmirtz hummed 'Ride of the Valkyries')
Quack: AW, COME ON!! (They complicated the fight) JESUS, THIS MAKES MY TRAGEDY WORSE IN COMPARISON TO PANG'S!!
Pang Bing: WHAT DID YOU F****** SAY?!?
Deadpool: (Dubbed as the Cheshire Cat) Oh, I believe he said it makes his tragedy worse in comparison to yours.
Pang Bing: (Dubbed as the Yelling At Cats Guy) I'M GOING TO RIP YOU!!!
Deadpool: No you're not! (He shoots him in the head)
Lord Shen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo- (Enlightrant was revealed to be Jallmadoor) -Ooooo, Oh, never mind!
Jallmadoor: I'LL DESTROY YOU!
Gazelle: No, you won't! (She literally tears Enlightrant's soul out of his body)
Jallmadoor: WHAT THE HELL?!?
Gazelle: Uniter Princess, bitch! (The Lightflies grabbed him as he screamed)
Enlightrant: I'm okay!
Gazelle: Can you do the thing?
Enlightrant: You already did the thing!
Gazelle: So I can stop Pang, then?
Enlightrant: Balls yeah!.... Wow, what an out-of-character thing for me to say.
Lord Shen: Good, now we can-
Fu Bu: DEAL WITH ME!!
Lord Shen: Oh, hi, Fu Bu! (Gazelle punched him off into the distance in the stomach) Bye, Fu Bu!
Deadpool: I HOPE YOU FU-LL BU-TTER SOON! (Silence)...
Icky: Lame!
Deadpool: Bite me!
Alex: Okay! (He did that to his butt as he screamed)
Deadpool: THE HELL'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!?
Alex: (Dubbed as Patrick) BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TOOOO!!!
Pang Bing: Prepare for battle! (She surrounds the area with blue fire and thorny vines) A BIG BATTLE!
Gazelle: We're not afraid of you!
Pang Bing: (Transforms into her Dragon Form) How about now?
Maleficent: THE DEVIL?!?
Gazelle: (She throws her Uniter Blade at her like Prince Phillip as she was defeated)
Maleficent: THE DOUBLE DEVIL?!?
Gazelle: What purpose does this serve?
Pang Bing: I don't know!
Gazelle:... Then we'll find out!
Elzaorbana: Her memories have been warped into evil!
Gazelle: Who could've done this?
Mothlock: I WOULD'VE!! (Cackles as the camera eased from him and shows the ValleyLand of Prosperity, and begins destroying the world) EITHER SURRENDER OR THIS WORLD DIES!!
Pang: Should we give it to him?
Gazelle: We have no choice at the moment.
Shifu: We'll need to stay out of China for this one.
Po: Let's go to Japan!
Yijiro: Greetings, Dragon Warrior!
Karaage: Greetings, Dragon Warrior!
Deadpool: HOLY GIANT SQUID!!
Karaage: I have a plan for you to get around this.
Tulio: Well, let's go!
After a montage of getting to Ling's place, and beating Khan and the vultures who were wearing carboard signs that said "We are un-nessersary to the plot and pointless story-wise", then we cut to the Land of Prosperity village
Fa: I am another parallel to the Dragon Warrior!
Zhen: And I am another parallel to his adopted father! But female! And a Peacock!
Tsin: And WE are parallels to the Jade Palace! But with a needless political eviomental message.... With sci-fi elements to avoid being too direct about it in a 50/50 success rate of being subtile about it.
Sun Bear: And I am the obvious Oogway clone as a bear. And I decree that this random female panda can be useful as a new member of the Chi Masters.
Tsin: BULLS***!
Sun Bear: "Remember what the 3rd film showed."
Tsin: "(Begrudgingly) Fine."
Gazelle: Well, I can tell where THIS is going.
Tsin: She's clearly a fool!
Fa: (As she took beatings) OH, YEAH!!! (She bounced down the stairs)... AWESOMENESS!!!
Tiger: Tsin's been through a LOT in his biological birthplace in Japan cause of an evil uncle we are SURE is long gone and will not be brought back as an entirely different character for the sake of going M.Night Shamulan on us!
Heron: "Or else this will turn into a Kung Fu Panda verson of "Devil"."
Fa: Oh, so I can definitely identify.
Mothlock: UNITER HUNTERS?!?
Venomari: VENOMARI! I'm the obvious Hexxus Reference!
Dustox: DUSTOX! And I am unintentionally insulting to ze German Culture!
Quakaro: QUAKARO! And, I'm actselly kinda nice.
Freeloada: FREELOADA! I'm ripping off Abridged Cell.
Familier voice: "NO SHIT, SHERLOCK?!"
Hatetor: HATETOR! I'm one of two original and NON-Steriotypicly-insulting Uniter Hunters!
Fearos: FEAROS! I am the frightening leader yet will end with a disappointing pay-off because I'm otherwise kinda typical for the Fear Villain trope.
All Uniter Hunter: AND WE ARE GONNA- (The Lodger van crashed on top of them)..... Ow.
Deadpool: YIPPEE!!!
Kowalski: DEADPOOL DEFATED THE UNITER HUNTERS AND SAVED US FROM SCENES DEDICATED TO THEM AND FROM MEETING UNIMPOURENT CHARACTERS UNLIKELY TO BE SEEN AGAIN?!
Those such characters: "Awwwwwwwwwwwww."
Deadpool: Hilariously-derailing one-liner!
Tsin: VOIDHEART IS COMING?!?
Wingz: Voidheart is coming!
Sun Bear: Voidheart is coming?
Tsin: Voidheart is coming!
Sun Bear: You must. (As a rainbow formed around his arms) BELIEVE! And now I am dead! Bleh! (He disintegrates into blossom petals)
Tsin: Voidheart is coming!
Fa: (She screams like the Robot Chicken Gummy Bear while running until the heroes teleported in front of her)
Pang Bing: Nut up!
Fa: I don't know how!
Tiger: Let's stall Voidheart!
Voidheart: (Aftering being kicked in the face and through the building saying random gibberish) I WON'T HAVE YOU STALLING ME!!!
Baboon: Stalling?
Voidheart: Yes!
Spider:... Stalling?
Voidheart: STALLING!
Baboon:... Stalling?
Voidheart: STALLIIIIIIIIIING!!!
Faithless/Creeps: Oh, boy!
Tsin: You're a NATURAL and I suddenly like you now!
Fa: Just a coincidence!
Tsin: To the Sacred Pool of Tears!
Po: I am the Dragon Warrior!
Fa: Wowzers! (He trains her with food)
Po: Nice work, Dragon Warrior II!
(Icky): JUST KISS ALREADY!!!
Baboon: So... You think... We're... Stalling?
Voidheart: AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! WHAT IS THIS, CHINESE CRAZY TOWN?! YOUR ASSES ARE GRASS....ES! (He uses his nerve attack on them and captures them) YOUR PUNIISHMENT IS TO DISAPPEAR UNTIL PART 4 FOR A BRIEF CAMIO?!
Fa: We'll DEFINITELY defeat Mothlock now!
Mothlock: NO YOU WON'T! (He accelerates the apocalypse) 1 HOUR, OR NOBODY ENTERS OR LEAVES, AND THIS WORLD DIES!!!
Pang Bing: Oops!
Tsin: OOPS?!? Now I'm not angry at you anymore! I am emotionally inconsistent!! I'll stall Voidheart. You evacuate everyone! (They did that)
Zhen: I heard you talking with Tsin!
Fa: I didn't mean that, I still care for you!
Zhen: I know. I saved you from Lord Shen back when he was a super-awesome villain before reformed by an obcessive crossover fanboy!
Scroopfan: "HURTFUL!"
Po: WHAT A TWIST!
Po/Fa: DRAGON WARRIORS UNITE!!
Voidheart: Hello, nephew!
Tsin: AW, COME ON!!! YOU TOTALLY JUST TURNED US INTO AN M.NIGHT PRODUCTION?!
Voidheart: I'm wrecking your shit because I'm just THAT deplorable! (He destroys the Palace, and coils and strangles him)
Tsin: NO, MASU-DOMO, YAMATE!!
Voidheart: And now to finish the-
Fa/Po: HEY! Let that Tsin alone!
Voidheart: JACKPOT! (He uses the nerve attack as it only tickled them and bounced his spike arms back at him) DOOF! YOU BIG FAT PANDAS!!!
Fa/Po: THEY CALLED US, You know what, screw that ripping-off the Lion King shit, cutting to the point! (They belly-flopped him to the town) CHENG-GHENG GEMINI TECHNIQUE! (They shared Chi and wailed on Voidheart, and finally used the Wu-Hoi Banishment Flick on him) Bye-bye!
Mothlock: FINALLY!
Pang Bing: (She was corrupted) I TRICKED YOU INTO COMING HERE!
Gazelle: Bulls***! And on top of that, your CLEARLY RIPPING OFF THE END OF THE SPYRO DAWN OF THE DRAGON GAME?!
Mothlock: You're mine!
Gazelle: There's no reason to fight anymore!
Pang Bing: (She was restored of her full heart) There's always something!
Spyro/Cynder: THE F***?!?
Mothlock: MY SHIELD!! (The Lodgers came in) YOU F*Dog bark*ED ME! YOU F*Chicken caw*ED ME YOU WRETCHED F*Monkey ahk*S!!
Gazelle: Where'd those sounds come fro-
Mothlock: I'LL DESTROY YOU!!!
Pang Bing: You don't scare us!
Darkside Moth: (He transforms into Darkside Moth) How about now?
Deadpool: HAH! Blobby!
Mayfly: To the park they are attacking for some unexplaned reason! (They got there)
Faithless/Creeps: SURPRISE, BITCHES! (They put up a shield) Nothing will penetrate this shi- (Darkside Moth landed on them).... Ow.
Icky: WHOA! DARKSIDE KILLED THEM BOTH!!!
Tarvox: (He and Trax were restored to life) WHEW! That was crazy!
Trax: "Hello, we're two characters that originally were dead until we were inexplitably choosen by Mothlock to serve him for a reason not known other then the obvious and this is tecnecally our debute. (Quietly) Though I get a better role WAYYYYY down in the newer series. (Wink!)"
Icky: HAH! Nice nose! (Squidward was sensitive) Not that it isn't beautiful!
Patrick: Nah, it's ugly!
Tarvox: PRICKS!! (He throws an ordnance grenade and it blows up, only for them to have put up a shield)
Deadpool: (Moons him)
Darkside Moth: You can't stop me now!
Pang Bing: (She powers up into the HSS like a Super Saiyan, and attacks him)
Darkside Moth: Still can't stop me!
Pang Bing/Gazelle: (They fuse into the Uniter Dragon) HOW ABOUT NOW?!?
Darkside Moth: OH, FU- (He was tail smacked out of his oozy body)
Mayfly: (They blasted their light energy and restored the field)
Mothlock: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (As he then got exiled in the containment box) I REALLY SHOULD'VE TELEPORTED AWAY INSTEAD OF YELLIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnngg... (He was gone)
Deadpool: What a crazy Christmas adventure that ended up lasted until the early start of March (with some delays), we got to beat someone on our NAUGHTY list!
Wingz: What about us?
Twilight: We can't change you back, but you can work for Quack!
Dingz: "Ok."
Pang Bing: What about me? What's to say I won't turn evil again?
Shifu: We know someone who will ensure that won't happen!
Deadpool's voice: "...... THAT, WAS, EPIC?!"
Scroopfan: "Actselly yes, that, that came out nicely."
MSM: GREAT! And now the conclusion...
Chapter 1: Aftermath of the Final Fight Against Mothlock[]
Land of Prosperity
The Shrine was seen being repaired.
Tsin was looking at it sadly.....
Tsin: "...... I wished this went down alot less destructive onto our home then it did."
Tiger and the other masters arrive.
Tiger: "Perhaps it could've gone down alot of more cleaner, but..... Look at the positives, master. (Points to the freed children returning to their families)....... Many broken families have been reunited and freed from slave labor, and an undesireable desteny. The land has been healed from Mothlock's tainted grip, the Shrine will get more get more beautiful stories then the ones we lost, your dream of a new Tanoki valley will be atthived, your, appearently reserected uncle is gone, Sun Bear's dreams of restoring the land is realised, and most of all..... We got a truely masterful Chi Panda on our side."
Tsin: "...... My only regret, is that Sun Bear didn't get to live to see this happen."
Baboon: "He's likely to know about in spirit. You completed what he started, it's just as satisfying as seeing it himself."
Tsin: "But what am I to do? The old stories are likely too damaged to be kept.... What am I gonna replace them with?"
Spider: 'Well, I was never a fan of that dark stuff, so, hey, at least your appearent uncle gave way for more positive stories."
Tsin: "It's just....... I never expected everything to be..... So soon."
Spitting Cobra: "But yet, here we are. The Land of Prosperity lives up to it's name once again, Mothlock and his Darkness Ooze Rig are gone, and every reshorce it ruins is healthy and safe again."
Heron: "Yeah! I mean, a liberated land, an imprisoned alien tyrant, clean water, no more people becoming Heartless Folk, the Heartspawn and the Uniter Hunters are both gone, Pang Bing's gone straight, AND we got an actual Chi-Panda up in here! What's not to like?"
Tsin: "Mothlock, though great, is but one evil that runs loose in the universes. Or had, in his case. Freedom, whether gained or had been kept, can be fleeting. We are never truely free. We are just targets for a newer generation of congurors. All we did was leave the nince to be filled by someone who is at Mothlock's level, if not even stronger, to ruin our land again. This land has everything such congurors want. Reshorces, people to be made to serve them, and in our case, power to make them stronger. How long can our land keep true to it's namesake, when someday, another power hungery warlord comes along and claims it for his own?"
Heron: Well, you know what they say, Master! The sky's the limit. We have a good protector, and discovered QUITE a lot about Fa and her adopted mother, that she's from the same destroyed village as the Dragon Warrior, and Zhen is the aunt of the one responsible for it's destruction. And I gotta say, their reunion was... A little mixed.
Cutaway
Lodgers/Lord Shen: HE (I) KILLED BABY PANDAS?!?
Lord Shen: OH MY, GOD, COBRA, AS IF I COULDN'T HATE YOU ANYMORE THAN I DID ALREADY, YOU FIND MORE WAYS TO MAKE ME LOOK HORRIBLE!!! I MEAN, I'M NOT SURPRISED CONSIDERING I WANTED TO GET ALL OF THEM, BUT EVEN I WOULDN'T BRING HARM ONTO THE CHILDREN! BUT AFTER HEARING I RESORTED TO KILLING THEM AFTER CONSIDERING... I... COBRA, NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, I AM GONNA SLIT YOUR THROAT, DRINK ALL YOUR BLOOD, CUT OUT YOUR ORGANS, PUT THEM IN A BLENDER, AND DRINK THEM THROW A STRAW... All except the intestines or stomach, that's just gross. THAT should be a horrid thing to suffer before a resurrection!
Present
Heron: Regardless, they gave us enough protectors to keep the Valley safe. When you eventually retire as a teacher, Fa will do well as Po did in taking that place. And with your new upcoming Chi-Ki Valley, I'm sure you'll not only have them as a guard, but also create a Legendary Chiki-Tanuki that is not as evil as Masu. You'll DEFNITELY honor Qi-Chan's name by doing that.
Tsin: Yeah, but things like that don't just happen in the blink of an eye so easily. We need to do a LOT of things to accomplish something like that. We need to do our best in order to ensure it comes true. With countless threats, there's DEFINITELY no telling that history will repeat itself. The Keyhole may be locked up and this world's heart may be safe, but what's to say there isn't anything else of value like, I don't know, the Magic Pool that Quack is guarding. Much of our Heartless Folk inhabitants are guarding his palace, but I feel that may not be enough. It had IMPERVIOUS defenses, and it was defeated thanks to Chi Masters. What's to say magic can't be used to do the same?
Spitting Cobra: Just have faith, Master. There's bound to be many surprises.
Tiger: "Until then, it's best to not worry about what would come and focus on the now. A celebration being set by the mayor is coming up, celebrating Miss Fa. It would do well to attend that."
Tsin: ".... Perhaps, it'll, clear my mind of these uncertain thoughts."
Baboon: "You should also be glad your not Lord Shen right now. I heard the Uniter isn't taking the revelation of his screw-up, all too well."
The Park.
Shen was seen hog-tied bt his own tail feathers.
Pang Bing was seen calming Gazelle down with a smoothing magic touch.
Boss Wolf: "...... Wow. I did NOT know, you can actselly use feathers like that."
Icky: "Jesus christ, Gazy, I know your touchy about people doing despicable things, but, really? Shen was OBVIOUSLY under a spell, the guy was about as aware of what he was doing as much as a blind T-Rex realising he's dating a deaf Spino."
Gazelle: "I don't even wanna talk about it."
Shen: "Miss Gazelle, please! At first I was gonna leave them alive, but I guess the processed me gotten impathent with my aunt's interfearence and.... That much doesn't need repeating. Point is, this is Mang's fault by proxy!"
Gazelle: "Was he the one who told you to slaughter children?!"
Shen: "..... Admitingly, even he would cross the line against that, espeically now-a-days. I know it's fruitless trying to blame him for anything I did while under his spell, but-"
Gazelle: "YES OR NO?!"
Shen: "Okay, okay, no he did not?! Look, I hate myself for this abominable action as much as YOU clearly do! And I won't deny that Celestia would scold the soul out of my body if she gotten wise to this mess! But please consider that, whether he meant me for to go that far or not, you cannot deny that he corrupted me with his DARK magic! More or less, I was a mindless sentinal of his design! His magic pushed me to a certain extreme even HE never meant for me to go!"
Duke: "Look, to be fair kid, Pang Bing was in the same position and was doing worse crap! Do we REALLY have to deal with you being so worked up about this?"
Gazelle: "........ I want you to make a very earnest apology to Fa about what you did to her parents, and those children and THEIR parents."
Shen: "AND I WILL! But first I would like for you to acknowledge that, THAT Shen is BEYOND long gone. He's more anichent history then the Han Dynasty! I'm above that sort of sin now! Any sin! It is part of my own ongoing path to redemption."
Iago: "Well thanks to the fact that you SLAUGHTERED KIDS, procesed by a mutant cobra or not, that path is now longer then it should be! I wouldn't be surprised if parents become more afraid of letting children be around you if this gets out! Heck, I'm calling it! Shen will start getting restraining orders of every parent in the universes to not be within ANYWHERE of their kids!"
Icky: "I'm betting on Tri-Corn wanting to kick his ass harder then how Gazelle did it if she got wise! Heck, this could be bad enough to put Glitch-Corn back in working order!"
Lord Shen: It's not wise to gamble like that when you already KNOW the possible outcome. Point is, I've heard that Mang back when he didn't had those shreds of standerds, HAD killed children in his time. So, CLEARLY, when he corrupted me, he molded his own dark heart into me. So, I'm holding onto my word that when I confront Cobra for this, he WILL be sorry. Why the hell do you think I hate him as much as that Clockwork bastard for bringing Kairi into an orphan life, REGARDLESS of how good and prosperous and socially-fulfilling it was? She was a poor defenseless child, and I failed to save her from my evil master, THANKS TO SOME TRAITOROUS OWL SNITCH!!! I wanted to slay that owl for ruining me and her, but obviously, he was Sly's to defeat and his alone because he was so strong by the time we crossed paths again, only someone with the as much skill and resources as the family the owl resented could beat him. And killing would've been a wasted act for me anyway. I DID almost get killed myself trying to do it.
Gazelle:..... ( Gets calm enough thanks to Pang's theroputic magic touch)...... That is a good point, but regardless, it's gonna be hard to look at you the same way again, for the moment. I know you guys have told me time and time again that life beyond Zootopia is terroriblah, but, I am still coping on how far people would go so low, processed or not!
Mayfly: Trust me, Uniter, things like that is common with not just other Uniter Princesses of the past, but with us as well.
Hiccup: Indeed. Why do you think it hurt my relationship with Toothless when my father died upon being controlled by Drago? My mother told me that's what happens when bad people control good things. Sure the results are heart-scarring, but it's not wise or fair to hold onto that grudge forever. That's exactly how villains get to you, and it's what makes them so infamous. Cobra knows that things like this will occur, and, with or without standerds, he's still enough of a total clud to the point that, he would find it amusing and advantageous.
Gazelle:... Yes, it's quite obvious I still have a lot to learn.
Mayfly: And that's what we're here for.
Gazelle: Now then, if we're done indulging villains for pissing on good people's lives, what do we do now? It's the 23rd, and Tricorn is no doubt gonna be angry if we don't be at the party for her. Hell, aren't the villain teams supposed to be off on Christmas.
Pang Bing: Well, they do, unless they are provoked. And that's what I did. I provoked them by stealing their members. But regardless, they will no longer be a problem in whatever happens next.
Private:... What concerns me is that... We MAY still not be done.
Skipper:... Explain yourself, Private.
Private: Well, Mothlock said that he didn't come this far without an anonymous source, right? I mean, remember the containment box that had Pang's sisters in it?
Pang Bing:... That's actually a good point. There's bound to be a GREATER threat out there, and Mothlock is but an intermediate challnate.
Icky: "And a HELL of a pilminerarly at that!"
Gazelle: He said that the box was once owned by the Emperor who persecuted you.
Pang Bing:... That must mean... That we're dealing with magic-phobes.
Mayfly: It's too inconsistent to be true. Magic-Phobes hate all kinds of magic, good AND evil! These have to be some very hypocritcal haters to stoop so low to do such. Otherwise, they wouldn't have brought a magical villain like Mothlock.
Shifu:... Unless... They seem to be using Mothlock, AND Pang Bing, with Quack an additional convinence, to make magic itself look evil and therefore AID in their anti-magic campaign.
Mayfly:... THAT is another good point. Perhaps we need to clean-out this threat in case it decides to get payback for the defeat of Mothlock.
Pang Bing: And it's clear that this is of that Emperor's origin. There's no doubt that he suffered due punishment, and thus he might've had a hand in forming this very cult.
Icky: "But, that emperor I think is likely DEAD by now...."
Pang Bing: "He could've been able to make heirs to continue this legacy. If it was not him, at the least it could've been any spawn."
Lu Kang:... Grandfather, do you happen to know anything about this?
Kun Lao: Well, since it was a thousand years ago, the info on Emperor Lu Kai The Terrorable and his line is nevertheless obscured, possibly for good and controversial reasons. Even the mixed-species imperial family made such info classified to avoid controversy to the modern generation.
Icky: Oh, come on, why make it classified? Humans had a controversial history of racism, slavery, segregation, and just general flat-out stupidity, and yet, while their modern descendants look at that period with shame, they take pride in knowing that they can be the generation to do better then that. Hell, racism STILL exists in one way or another.
Kun Lao: Well, unlike them, our history doesn't get over such unacceptable acts. Xenophobia back then is just as disfavored from then to today as racism was to humans. You also have to keep in mind that it was because of hate, that we in this world no longer all can be able to do Chi so easility, without difficult training with risk of failure or worse, corruption. It still exists, and people find shame at how strong it was in the past. And the process of learning to be above it, is not so easily strong. The shame that people do it at all, is too great, and we prefer to pretend it never happened. Even if it's not exactly any more benifital. So if they hear it at it's worst by a very Emperor, what's to say that there'll be or be not a MASSIVE uproar? The flaws of mortals are so relationship-damaging because they are things that cause fear, hate, anger, evil, and inevitably war. And war is the ultimate method of death. And here, even without the aide of modern war-horrors I hear unsettling tales about, wars can be quite destructive and live-ruining.
Po: Totally. Why do you think we tried to stop a war through a legendary and unstoppable messenger?
Kweng: Admittedly, war is quite a concern to some, but the reason why it's not to me is because my work is like a police officer, and incidents like a message causing a war is like ticketing a friend or son to us. Friendship or family is simply not going to save you, and the same can be said for us. Why do you think we messengers are either scoffed at or considered useless? We do our job without concern because it's a simple job. Our job causes life and death, but someone's gotta do it. It is a sad existence and I've made many enemies like Fu-Xi and Sun Ying Moon out of it, but when a job has to be done, it's gotta be done.
Tigress:... I can see why you're so legendary. You show no weakness.
Kweng: Quite.
Fu-Xi: Well, I guess we can help you deal with this possible threat of Imperial origin. If it means a greater threat than even Mothlock, then we must act, and hopefully before Christmas.
Kun Lao: Well, if you're going to figure this out, then you might already have the resources in the form of a former emperor of china and his predecessor. While I cannot reveal TOO MUCH sensitive information, I can tell you that Lu Kai was a Water Buffalo, and is related to Lu Kang.
Icky: "So the asshole was in the same family tree?"
Kun Lao: "To, my family's detrement, yes. We try so hard, to deny his existence. It's, in part of my our families are inter-species. The original imperial family, which were once consistently buffalo, were shamed by that emperor's actions to the point that the likes of ducks, pigs, deers, dogs, cats, insects, snakes, frogs, even fish, among uncountless other speices, have been included into the family line.
Puss:... I think that MIGHT be helpful.
Viper:... How so?
Puss: Remember that Heartspawn General we encountered after Tarvox and Trax retreated?
Tigress:... Are you suggesting the two of them may be connected?
Puss: It's a possibility. But there is only one way to find out. We need to go to any and all Imperial colonies in China to find any clues as to the whereabouts of this cult.
Kun Lao: Well, while your quick thinking is admirable, I'm afraid the royal mixed family is a little touchy about investigations like that, especially when it concerns classified info on a controversial emperor.
Pang Bing: Well, it's about time I did something better to honor my sisters than defeating my corrupter, and that's dealing with the roots of the one that reduced them to the Spirit Realm. If I'm going to be an Equinox Master, then what better way to test my capabilities in it than by-
Gazelle: Than by facing the one who started it all.... Well, at least, the one who's related to it.
Pang Bing:... So, I take it we know what to do, then?
Rainbow Dash: Yep. We investigate any sources we can, and we find this guy Shifu talked about to prepare Pang for this journey.... Speaking of which, who is this guy?
Shifu: It's actually someone of close connections to Oogway. But, SHE, is of a greater higher level.
Tigress:... You mean-
Shifu: Indeed. We must seek out Master Hai Hoi the Sea Turtle.
Fluttershy:... Do we get to go underwater for this?
Karaage: Actually, I have sparred with her sometimes in Chi-Ki battles when she was still living in the Yellow Sea Shore Temple in Jiāo'ào which is currently under the care of Master Dolphin. But she's no longer at the sea, and just spends much of her time in a Temple in the Himalayas.
Fluttershy: Aww!
Icky: "What's a Sea Turtle doing in the Himalayas? A land of snow? Which is like, the worse ever place for reptiles? AND WAY inland in Asia, so, double-whammy negitive points for a SEA reptile? Also, it's the freaking Himalayas, AKA the most HAZARDOUS mountain range in the world to the point where a relative of Shen died climbing on?!"
Karaage: Her reasons are because, she wants to be ABOVE limits and expectations, and justified so by her chi. Her chi is of a great purity and of great power sought by many, even by undesirables. She knew she couldn't risk being in where they can easily predict, espeically if it's her home of the Yellow Sea, so while she left Master Dolphin to run the Shore Temple, she moved far inland, and went to established a temple there.
Applejack: "Well I can understand not wanting to be made to teach riff-raff her ways, but, doesn't she get homesick about being so far away from the ocean, and, warm beaches for that matter?"
Karaage: "A price she unquestionably is willing to pay to protect against being respondsable for turning those who enjoyed their power too much and end up becoming..... Chi Parasites. Which is why she only accepts the best students, but nevertheless keeps in touch with Master Dolphin as he does well in his master's place, training her former students like his brother and the other students under her teachings, and she would only agree to heal those she knows will not take advantage of her. She's a kind soul, but very cautious of the power she possesses, and wishes to be careful of whom she shares her kindness to."
Banzai: "Why is she so cautious? It's not like she ended up helping someone that wasn't really worth helping or anything!"
Shifu: ".... Why else do you think she's hiding in the mountains of the Himalayas?"
Banzai: "Why? Because, she's a weird turtle?"
Shifu: "WRONG?!"
Deadpool: "Well then explain! What, did she ended up healing a warmongering dictator or something?!"
Shifu: Well... yes, and no. You see, this warmongering dictator, was actually her master. She had little trust in what she first thought was the father she never had as she never found her real father since she survived her hatching and quest into the ocean, especially discovering her father was a Chi Parasite. But what pushed her further into grief was that her master... Ended up becoming a Chi Parasite, and turned one of her fellow students and best friend into another Chi Parasite....
KFP-2D Animated Flashback
(Shifu): Her master, the Leatherback named Gui Hai Wuang, was always mixed on his behavior towards her, which she easily shrugged off as Kung Fu master behavior. Turns out, he was a guy whom embarrassed himself for failing to achieve the Celestial Phoenix test in public and losing a bet as a result that cost much of his good life, especially since, according to legend, the one who actually achieved the title was a turtle, easily poking his teenage ego. Since then, he has been very bitter, and has been a mixed responsible master. Then came the day he did his first Chi technique, and Hai easily picked up on it. Growing with greed since this could be a proper replacement, he wanted this power all to himself, and demanded much from his students, including Hai, out of threat of banishment. Eventually, Hai finally rebelled against Gui and had him banished to the Spirit Realm. But later on, after years of running his Shore Temple and doing well with it including having it funded and aided out of it's previous leader's controversy, Gui managed to come back to the Mortal Realm, and nearly made good on his threat on Hai for disobeying him. He did it by, again, turning her best friend against her by tempting him through his clear ego. Thus, Hai was nearly killed and much of her life was nearly destroyed. Hai was able to win again, bringing Gui back to the Spirit Realm, and sending her corrupted best friend to Chorh-Gom Prison, as he was still too weak to use his Chi to break out. This was when she could no longer take it, and considered, with three close people to her turning into Chi Parasites, she left for the Himalayas after leaving her best student, Master Dolphin, in charge of the Temple, while she built her own.
Present
Shifu:... So, as you can see, the terrors she faced at those times are why she feels her Chi is too easy to steal for people like her adopted father and best friend, and even her biological father, she needs to isolate herself. And because of this, even Oogway and me had no idea where she could be found, and thus the only ones who know her location is Master Dolphin.
Icky:... Wasn't that one of the masters whose armor you keep in the Temple and Po and Li played with?
Shifu: And left a few scratches on, yes.
Po: (Sighs) Please don't mention that to him.
Shifu: Actually, it wasn't his, it was his father's, and his father's before him, so no doubt it's gonna be TWICE as aggravating to him.
Po:... (Gulps)
Fluttershy:... So, we DO get to see the sea after all?
Karaage: Eh, depends on what happens there. (Fluttershy squees)... What's with her?
Twilight: Yeah, ever since she decided to expand her animal caretaking outlook to alternate environments, and manages to save a merpony community through it, she's become a little... Gaga for it.
Karaage:... I see. So, it's clear that if we wanna find Hai, we must go to Master Dolphin's Temple. Just a fair warning though..... Master Dolphin is...... Strict to an unapologenic fault.
Po: "(Gulp), And he's a super-rules-fanactic, that makes the fact I kinda wrecked his family's armor even worse!"
Monkey: "Well I think it's safe to say that Master Dolphin is NOT gonna be a very big Po fan."
Mantis: "No doubt about it."
Crane: "Unquestionably."
Banzai: "So, we're not gonna stay for Fa's celebration?"
Shifu: "Disappointing, I know, but we have far urgent matters at hand, and we must make sure it doesn't attempt to restore Mothlock's rule, or worse."
Duke: "Well we may as well say our good-byes and skaddle out of here."
The Group walked off, as two shadowy forces watched.
Later.
The Van was seen flying across China.
Lord Shen: "Okay everyone, to cover better ground, we have to be split-up into seperate groups. One group will seek out Hai Hoi, the other shall get more answers about the Lu Kai line from the royal family. Pang Bing and Lu Kang are automaticly desinated to those groups for obvious reasons. And now to desinate the ones more likely to attend such groups."
Elsewhere in the van.
Gazelle was seen doing some warm-ups in front of a TV screen following an exsersize program's words.
Pang Bing looked in, and sighed, looking daze.
Gazelle looked at Pang Bing.
Gazelle: "Oh hey Pang!"
Pang Bing snapped out of it!
Pang Bing: "AHEM!? Ahem.... I, came to check up on you and.... Your, ritualistic, dancing."
Gazelle: "Oh, I'm doing some areobics to keep myself in tip-top shape when we meet up with the next desperado."
Pang Bing: "Well, it's, nice to know you keep beautifully- Dah, I mean, consistently prepared for your challnages. I, admire that..... Miss Gazelle, there's, something, I only wish for you to know."
Gazelle: "Okay, (turns off the TV and gets onto her bed and excitingly positions herself like a slumber party teen ready for gossip), Go ahead and shoot."
Pang Bing: "...... Quite...... You see....... I, may look like a female cat native to this world, but...... You know those digital creatures, right?"
Gazelle: "You mean the "Digimon" as they called themselves?"
Pang Bing: "And, how they may look and sound like they have genders, but, they tecnecally don't?"
Gazelle: "Well that's mainly because their gender features are mainly just a way to identify them, but since they're like sentient data, they don't, well, capitalise on that because they're by all means proxually asexual. Why ask such a moy moy random question though?"
Pang Bing: ".... Well..... Like I said..... I only resemble a female cat speices because..... It was how the Mother Orb made us."
Gazelle: "Hold up, hold up, exactly what are you saying?"
Pang Bing: "..... (Sighs). (Procees to get into a meditative position and places her staff down.)....... Promise me, you will not end up thinking I'm insane or think I went crazy again."
Gazelle: "(Gets up and comferts Pang Bing), Pang Bing, I wouldn't even bring myself to think ill of even the worse Mothron in existence, let alone even someone like Tyler, (Grumbles) Even when he never makes it easy for me, (Normally) I will not judge anything you say.... I am likely to be caught-off guard and be dumbfounded, but, I am not gonna think you gone loco."
Pang Bing: "..... It all started, then the Mother Orb arrived in Dreamworks China."
Another KFP sytile 2D flashback.
This was the orb.
The glowing orb (The one in the picture and the same one from the episode) was seen traveling in space.
(Pang Bing): "The Mother Orb came to this world, for the mission to make the planet, one of great peace, since she understood the planet's wide-spread power of the Chi Users. It wanted to turn the world into a force of good. And so.... To do that.... It needed a great order to spread harmony and peace."
The Orb hovered over a random cat traveler and scanned her magicly.
(Pang Bing): "It scanned the DNA of a random female cat that happened to be noticed, and proceeded, to create me and my sisters."
The Orb proceeded to do just that, to the amazement of this random cat, as 5 kittens were borned naked.
(Gazelle):... So... You're not just sisters, but... You're clones?
(Pang Bing): "Indeed. We have the exact same appearance as our DNA donor, and the Mother Orb created us through it's own body that was capable of literally anything. Though we weren't exactly cats, as we were only so by 75%. While made in the image of female cats, we are not capable of making children by ourselves, but would have to gain the love of a worthy soul mate willing to embrace our magic inside of them. The cat the Mother Orb scan, felt that she needed to raise us as she felt it was what the Mother Orb desired. So, she raised me and my sisters and despite us being her clones, she only said we were her daughters."
Years passed as Pang Bing and her sisters grew up.
(Pang Bing): "Sadly, by adulthood, our biological mother passed on, leaving us to be on our own.... Until the Mother Orb arrived. She took cared of us from here on out. The Mother Orb summoned us and wanted us to be bringers and protecters of peace into a troubled war. We understood this well enough and embraced it's great power, and founded our order. The Order of The Orb Cats. I, being the eldest, was chosen as their leader. I would lead my sisters to make this world a better place..... But then.... He came."
A silluetted royal buffalo with some imperial guards came to Pang Bing's group.
(Ping Bing): "It was the self-rightious emperor of the time..... Emperor Ku Kai the Terriable. He came to ask us a rediculious request."
Lu Kai (Silluetted): "I came here because I resheaved word of a magical space orb that founded your little magic group, and it had the great Emperor of China intriged. Anything that is capable of creating life like it was easy is worthy of my attention..... And, my use. I, Emperor Lu Kai II, wished to rule the entire world under my hooves, and make all lands beyond china, bow to the laws of the great imperial family! With that orb my the side of the great chi-people of china, all enemies and resisters will quiver in fear of the combined might of chi and magic! Our world will be legendary and a stable of respect to the rest of the universes that I hope one day, a future desendent will aim to make it bow to my imperial legacy as well! So, Cats of the Orb, will you join my royal cause?"
Pang Bing: "......... Your dream is ambitious, but not universeal to what the Mother Orb wants."
Lu Kai: "..... Wait, what? Now what is THAT suppose to mean, pussy cat?"
Pang Bing: "The Mother Orb wishes to inspire peace and harmony among all walks of life in this world, not to subugate them in a totalarian rule. This world is troubled enough by the violence of it's past. Why taint the future with more?"
Lu Kai: "..... You're joking right? You have the power to win every war possable, and your gonna waste it being Peace Zealots?!"
Pang Bing: "It may not be ideal to you, Emperor. But it is our path and our path alone. And, personality, you be wise to reconisder your path. Desteny is not kind to those that try to change it in their faver."
Lu Kai: "..... Well let ME warn you! Bad things tend to happen to those that defy the imperial family, espeically the emperor! Your in Chi Conutry, Magic user! I can EASILY make it that magic will become VERY hated around these parts! Chi is clearly stronger then basic magic, dispite what crazy bagabonds say about Chi just being a vastly evolved form of magic because of magical pools from a planet of pure-hearted little horses! So how's about you reconsider your rejection and accept my inviation to join my cause?"
Pang Bing: "It is not to be your desteny to control an entire world, your majusty. And it will not be ours to encourage you."
Lu Kai: "..... Have it your way, p*****s! But don't come crying to me when something BAD happens! And trust me..... It always does in this world."
The Emperor and his forces left.
(Pang Bing): "I hoped the emperor was only making an empty threat and tried to scare me and my sisters to betray the Mother Orb's teachings and join his aimless cause.... I had faith that the people here knew better then that...... My faith in them..... Was ill-advised."
(Gazelle): Because they feared you?
(Pang Bing): More than that. Turns out, Chi was called an evolved form of magic for a reason: Magic was considered OUTDATED to them since the beginning of Chi. Chi could do everything magic could and more, albeit not all-powerful as most worlds, but still. We couldn't understand it as Chi was merely an exaggeration as it was not magic, as it was only a natural life force energy that flows among all living things. Magic was different as it gave BIRTH to Chi, because if not only flowed around all living things, but everything else not-living or otherwise. We knew that magic was based around a lot of mumbo-jumbo I'd rather not waste time explaining, but somehow, everyone got the concept of both wrong. And so, when we finally stepped up to explain the true nature of magic... Well... Let's just say things didn't go so well. While our words DID hold weight, many of them argued that, if magic WAS stronger than Chi, then it could might as well be powerful enough to destroy it as it could to Chi. So, with our point obscured very rudely, they did terrible things to us and started treating us terribly, fearing that we would do horrible things. Our word spread all throughout China, and it made everyone equally feared. It was absolutely atrocious that everyone was taking our word to absolutes, but Mother Orb tried to offer us hope. But then one day... (Imperial Forces were seen ransacking their home and destroying everything they had and they failed to stop them, getting beaten every time they got an upper-hand, as the Orb was seen being seemingly destroyed)... They destroyed the Orb! They thought it was a kind of weapon based around mind-control or hypnosis. So, calling us witches, they had us sent to the Emperor. We pleaded for mercy from him, but he only said...
Lu Kai: I will not do a thing for you! You were warned that this would happen, and you ignored it. This is what happens when you fail to listen to people who clearly understand this land better than you. We are the leaders for a reason: Because we are the wisest in the land, and we know best. You have ended up sabotaging yourselves through your blind means of peace. I could've used it better, and thus your powers belonged to me. So, I decided, if I couldn't have it, neither could you! I ordered for your guild to be destroyed.
Pang Bing:... Why?!?
Lu Kai: It is unwise to as questions when the answer was already clear. People clearly hate you and fear you, so it's best I obliged them and saved them the trouble. I did them a favor. You all failed to heed to my warnings, and thus you had to learn the hard way. And because you suffered for it when that all could've been avoided by passing it onto me, you just gave me no reason why I should give you mercy.
Pang Bing: This is crazy-talk! You're just going to prosecute us because we had little knowledge of our capabilities? This is clearly greed-talk, and you just wanted our power for your own selfish means! If you aren't going to give us mercy, then why should we do the same to you? We'll find a way out, and when we do, you will be sorry!
(Pang Bing): But by saying that... I might've shown why the Emperors of China are intolerable to treason or insubordination.
Lu Kai:... Well, that's it, you've dishonored all of China for refusing to recant, which could be considered treason. And after you failed to heed my warnings, I'd say that adds another count of insubordination. You could be put to death... Right now!
Pang Bing: ARE YOU INSANE?!? We have done NOTHING wrong! We are merely warning you, if you continue to indulge the cruel behavior of people who don't know any better, then you are seriously going to be punished, if not by us, but by people who have a brain! I'm asking you, your highness, be wise about this and not place false charges on us, or else it's not going to end pleasantly for you. Just because you're Emperor, it doesn't mean you know better than everyone else. That's called 'might makes right', as people like you believe that the most powerful people are automatically correct and know best. But the Mother Orb has always told us since your offer that it's all a lie, and that it's better for it to be phrased as 'might FOR right'. We denied your offer for that reason. Powers like Magic and it's life-force son Chi should be used to do good things BECAUSE that's what they are. Using it like you want to is called abuse of power, much like you may be doing with your title. So this is your last chance: do what is best for China, or make it worse!
Lu Kai: I'm sorry, but all that was treason talk. It's still not going to save you from execution. GUARDS?!?
Pang Bing: SIR, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T-
Lu Kai: Do NOT say 'I can't' to my face! This is what happens to the ones who did before. You break the laws, you pay the price!
Pang Bing: THIS IS SIMPLY UNFAIR!!!
Lu Kai: Life isn't fair, I'm afraid.
Pang Bing: UGGGH, THAT'S THE LAMEST EXCUSE-
Lu Ka: SILENCE! You shall die at dawn for your treason!
(Pang Bing): It was clear that, with a jerk like HIM in power, it was all too clear that, with no Mother Orb there for us, all of China was against us. I was the only one to escape that day, but I failed to save my sisters. They were gone, just like everything I ever known. I was all by myself.
Present
Pang Bing:... The rest, you know.
Gazelle:... I... I'm terribly sorry. But... What does this have to do with-
Pang Bing: Well, you see, being technically genderless means that my sisters and I had a little... Controversial moments. You see, we didn't even know what gender we were considering our mother never told us before she died. The Orb revealed our true origins afterward, but we still referred to ourselves as girls because we were clearly cloned after such. I am a cat, yes, but the rest of me is... Well... Magic in nature. We could only reproduce through our common methods through, again, soul mates seeing the pureness inside of us, which is why the Orb chose a cat due to their pure hearts.
Gazelle: And?
Pang Bing: Well... I was a little bit caught off guard when seeing you dance. You see, the pure-sight spell is so vague, it doesn't specify gender, so by technicality that makes us...
Gazelle: Pansexual?
Pang Bing:... What?
Gazelle: Loving anyone or anything regardless of gender, species, age, or anything else?
Pang Bing:... Yeah.
Gazelle:... Well... I guess that is quite a surprise. So... You seem to be attracted to me because this pure-sight thing isn't specific about who does and who doesn't?
Pang Bing: Well, reproduction doesn't work like that right away. It's like a lock, it needs the right key in order to open. In this case, if the right person sees the pureness in you, then you'll automatically be able to sexually reproduce. It's... Quite awkward, even when the Mother Orb explained it to me. It's one of the many limitless and unexplainable things that magic can do.
Gazelle:... I... Pang, this... This is pretty heavy. I mean, don't worry about me being, judgemental about this, I, exspearimented with, alternate oriantations, and I get along famously with LBGT fans in Zootopia, but, try to keep in mind, I'm, mostly heteralsexual. It, means I'm more into dudes. Also, on top of that, the lougers told me that magic being used to get someone pregnant tends to be.... Well, it's not normally, pleasent.
Pang Bing: I know. But, to be honest, just because I find you attractive, it doesn't mean I love you like a lover, well, not CONJUSTUSLY, at the least, the whole me being dazed by your dancing is mainly just, imbalenced magic created hormones at work. I promise you, you do NOT have to worry about me being a turn corner in a love triangle with any potaintional lover you have in mind, so, (Brings up a picture of Hecktor and Clawhauser from a fan photo) These two, won't have to worry about being outcompeted. That's only a direct result of how we fit well as student and teacher. We see so much in each other, it by technicality makes me attracted to you regardless of gender. I DO want to have a straight relationship, and trust me, I grew up in a world that only embraces that, trust me, gayness has no popularity there, but it's no doubt going to be hard given the loopholes of my conception..... I'm sorry, this, this was REALLY awkword of me to talk about, is it possable to pretend I was actselly borned a cat?
Gazelle: Pang, that's nothing awkward to admit, mi amigo. Unexpected? Si, but far from awkword..... Though.... I get why you don't want the others to know.... Espeically not the likes of Icky, who will complain about it in some weird post modern nonsense, Deadpool because, he's not subtle about handling surprises well, from what I heard, or Twilight who would fangasum about you being a product of a magical space orb and would want to ask too many personal questions. Espeically when you don't always have the direct answer. It's as unexplainable as magic, and it's what makes it so unique. Magic can awaken the best in us, and it has done so much for the both of us. Pansexuality is not something to be ashamed of, so don't let anyone tell you it's wrong. If you wanna be in a straight relationship in the future, then do it. Just don't let it be that vague, and hope that you can overcome these, "Magical Hormones" you mentioned.
Pang Bing:... I'll try.
Gazelle: Excellente. And you have my word that no one's gonna know about this- (Noticed a Slack-Jawed Trixie and GIlda with Thunderclap and Pervis the raptor.)..... How, long were you guys standing there?"
Gilda: "We came in when Pang Bing dropped the bomb about her being the daughter of a magic space orb."
Trixie: "(Her eyes turned into Windows Blue Screens)....."
Gilda: "..... I knew letting you hang with Icky for the entirity of summer camp was a bad idea."
Thunderclap: "........ Wow! Just, wow!"
Pervis: "Awwww shoot! Wait until Bubbha and Icky get a-load of this! Ha-Yuck!"
Pang Bing: "WAIT! I, I don't want everyone to know about what I am! It'll...... It'll be, awkword!"
Gilda: "Hey, we'll be cool about it. I mean, the majority anyway. Icky and Deadpool will be idiots about it and Twilight's likely to go "Dr. Askstomuch" on ya, and Pinkie Pie will likely go Birthday Crazy on ya cause of all the years of missed birhdays with that revenge crap you were doing, and I can only guess how much Fluttershy will blush in awkwordness, but other then that, we're cool about it! Besides, it KINDA holds impourent info about Lu Kai and it could kinda help us out."
Trixie snaps out of it thanks to Thunderclap booping her nose.
Trixie: "Thank you for that, Thunderclap. Besides, if we leave this infomation obscure, it runs the risk of the new-generation Lu Kai using that against you. Have you stopped and think that maybe Lu Kai the original may've known more about you then he let on?"
Pang Bing: "He mistaken the Mother Orb as a magic created weapon!"
Gilda: "Fair point. But what if he was smarter then he let on?"
Pang Bing: ".... Explain...."
Gilda: "Well, Dreamworks China is among the few worlds aware that it's not alone. So, it's possable that Lu Kai, maybe from a sage or something that used to worked for him, knew about the space orb! And Lu Kai may've lied about the whole "Weapon" thing just to cover what he wanted to be his claim. Well, that, and to see if it's really a space orb and not just something you made up."
Pang Bing: ".... I see...... But, I may've claimed something like this, but, I never had consistent evidence, that Lu Kai was causing Magic Discrimination, but, why when he hypocritically wanted to control magic at first?"
Trixie: "Well obviously he wanted to make sure you wouldn't be a threat to him since you knew about him wanting to take over the world!"
M. Bison "Of Course!" HD Edition
Gilda: "..... Don't mind that, the producers like to use old Nostaglia Critic and/or other over-used memes."
Trixie: "Anyway, he may've took advantaged of your, poor choice of words, and ended up too successful to the point that he had to reconsider his own plans."
Pang Bing: "..... Well, I once came to have known that Lu Kai did not get to enjoy maintaining his rule. Is that much true?"
Gilda: "Oh trust me, that is diffently true, thanks to Quack since his city was victimesed by his bull- (Remembers she's near Gazelle).... His sucky lies. In fact, based on what Master Ling said, that guy did not get to enjoy his rule for long ever since you escaped."
Flashback
(Gilda): In the days following your escape, while he had your sisters in that box, he tried constant ways to find and capture you. But before he could succeed in doing so, he was confronted by your mere warning of not choosing what is best for China, because Kung Fu masters came in.
Lu Kai II: What can I do for you?
Master #1: Emperor Lu Kai, we have a warrant for your arrest.
Lu Kai II:... (Laughs) I never thought you guys had a sense of humor- (They looked sternly at him)... (Laughs) You think you can convince me that you're serious? I am the Emperor, you can't just DECIDE to arrest me. We have a word for that, and that's treason. So don't waste your ti- (They tackled him)
Master #2: You are indeed as pitiful as our Council said you were. We have been told that you have been exploiting higher powers like this position, magic, AND Chi.
Lu Kai: SECURITY!!! THERE'S PEOPLE COMMITTING TREASON IN HERE!!! ARREST THEM!!!
Master #3: I'm afraid your guards will no longer be of help. You must be arrested, because after what just happened involving the Chi warriors ALL over China, and how YOU inspired the death of the world's Magic Capital, you're too dangerous to be left in power!
Lu Kai: Wait, WHAT?!? I COMMANDED NO SUCH THING!!
Master #4: Well, take a look at THIS! (Shows him a scroll)
Lu Kai:... QUACK'S CITY, DESTROYED BY CHI MASTERS IN THE HONOR OF THE EMPEROR LU KAI II?!?
Master #2: This is CLEARLY because of your exploits. You inspired people with your prejudice against magic.
Lu Kai: Okay, first off, I am NOT the one to resort to an invasion of THIS degree! I mean, ALL EXCEPT QUACK, DEAD?!? I'd only leave a fair amount alive. Second, I am NOT anti-magic! I wanted to use Magic and Chi to do great things for China. The prejudice against magic didn't help. This is outrageous of you to accuse me of something unexpected!
Master #1: It's not just Quack! It's other crimes. You were NOT wanting Chi and Magic for the good of China. We've had you under surveillance for months, and know of your true intentions. We only accused you as an anti-magic xenophobe just to admit this in public! (They revealed all the Imperial inhabitants, who looked at him in sheer disappointment)... On top of that, your the reason why those of average morality or less no longer have Chi!
Lu Kai: WAIT, WHAT?!?
Master 2: It appears that Quack has placed a Chi curse on us all, including you!
Lu Kai: W-w-w-wait, this much is clearly that crazy duck's fault, I-
Master #1: We CANNOT blame the people for the incompetence of their ruler! You inspired the death of his kingdom, and you gave him a reason to do this to all of us. The only one to blame is you. Emperor Lu Kai II, you are under arrest for all the tyranny you have caused.
(Gilda): So, yeah, that incident DID have a hand in the death of xenophobia in modern times, and for all the terrible things he did, Lu Kai II was sentenced to death. (He was seen in the shadows being beheaded)
Present
Gilda: And since then, you can imagine what happened next. After a quarter-thousand years of a Chi Crisis that Oogway, in his starting days following his arrival from the Galapagos, had to fix, they had to make themselves a mixed species family to cover up the tyranny the Lu Kai strain made, harshly dishonoring the family itself.
Pang Bing:... Well, serves him right. We warned him there would be consequences, and he didn't listen, so he no doubt made the biggest mistake of his life, and definitely the last.
Thunderclap: "Wow, I mean, I know this guy was a total dweeb, but, harsh."
Pang Bing: "Well pardon me for lacking remorse for someone who wronged me over something I tried to advise him against."
Gilda: "We get that, and by all means, you don't have to actselly like or feel sorry for him, but, you have to be careful when you say something like that. What's the greatest thing ever for you is someone else's personal tragity. I would bet the modern Lu Kai guy honestly feels like that jerk was wronged for what he thought was doing the world a huge favor. Nothing makes an already doughey villain worse by saying "you got what you deserved", cause even IF that's true and that they tecnecally don't deserve sympathy, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be respectful to them reguardless."
Trixie: "Yes, granted, it's true that this Modern Lu Kai's the minority and everyone else isn't losing sleep over it, but, consider the fact the bloodline the Lu Kai you knew came from. This basturd was bad enough that this strain is forever shamed and baring any actually good or at least decent enough Lu Kai's and everyone shuns them before they got to know them. That sort've nonsense risks the creation of something like the Lu Kai that could be respondsable for giving that Moth Being that box."
Pang Bing: "..... I get what your trying say, but if there ARE good Lu Kai's, then why aren't they stopping the Lu Kai who could be behind this?"
Gilda: "Well duh, they obviously don't know about it, and even then, what can they do? They OBVIOUSLY can't control every family member. And what good would trying to warn people would do? Aside from just not listening, there's also the problem that if they DO listen! They would end up being blamed for what this black sheep's doing and they get punished for his sins! Does it suck that it works like that? Yeah! But that's what happens when the bad apple ends up speaking louder then the good ones!"
Pang Bing: "..... I never realised this, if I wasn't so, blinded, I could've advocated to have Lu Kai the Second's Strain be spared, I-"
Gazelle: "Even if you did, magic discrimination and/or you being accused of having Storkhold Syndrone, which is like Shockholm for Zootopia, would keep you from defending them. In their mindsight, they were afraid that Lu Kai's family line would risk an uprising if they left them unpunished for the original Lu Kai's actions. Now, is it unfair to any redeeming members? Yes, it's beyond that. But, this is obviously a very anichent world with anichent standerds. What's unfair to a modern person is commensense to inmodern folk. It's often why it's hard to look back our histories and see that compaired to what's wrong in socity of today, was actselly alot worse in those times. And no doubt future generations will look back at our time and think the same thing. But it's obvious that, whoever is doing this, Lu Kai or not, is clearly another problem that needs to be addressed and stopped, whatever their reasoning. Because he commited the act of aiding a Mothron, which has been deemed a serious offence by the Lightflies. And he has to be heavily punish, or else it would theroredicly risk villains thinking that nothing bad will happen for making a deal with Mothrons, because it'll lead to exactly what Mothlock wanted. For the villain community to work with Mothrons. By taking him down, it shows that Mothron partships with villains of any age are still considered unacceptable, and sends a strong message even demons would understand."
Pang Bing: "..... A valient point indeed. We may cannot change everyone's opinions on Lu Kai's strain, but we can at least prevent their illk, from inspiring more hatred. If this is the work of a modern Lu Kai, then I will waste no time stopping him.... Or her."
Thunderclap: "Well, it IS a buffalo we're talking about, and dudes are typically more aggresive, so yeah, most likely a dude."
Trixie: "I'd smacked you for unintentional sexisum if it wasn't considerably accreate for male bovines."
Pang Bing: So yeah, we're off to see Hai Hoi so she can help me out on my little quest.
Trixie: Much to the constant whining of the yellow one-
Gilda: WE WILL NOT MAKE THIS A MENTALLY-ADVANCED-SERIES PARODY, I TOLD YOU TO CALL HER FLUTTERSHY!
Trixie: I KNOW HER STUPID NAME!!
Gilda: Oh, you and I are gonna have a serious conversation after all this.
Pang Bing: (Sighs) Just PROMISE me you guys will be as delicate when telling the news of my... Pansexuality... To everyone. AND I MEAN IT! No comical behavior!
Gilda: We are not among the funniest, so you've got nothing to worry about.
Thunderclap: "Exactamondo, right Pervis?...... Pervis?"
Pervis wasn't here.
Thunderclap: "...... Maybe he went to the little raptor's room?"
Trixie: "He hasn't even been house broken yet, how can he use the toilet?!"
(Pervis): HEY, EVERYONE! PANG'S A PANSEXUAL WHO- (The whole van acted up)
Pang Bing:... You... Are all... Morons!
Gazelle: You all have a LOT of explaining to do!
Thunderclap: "Our bad!"
Later...
Pervis: (As he was seen in the disciplinary chamber as everyone was discussing things)
Trixie: So, now that we got the idiot out of the mission for his little scurry, can we at LEAST acknowledge that she's that way because she's not completely a cat?
Duke: Well, GOOD! Because, after hearing she was attracted to Gazelle, I thought I was gonna puke.
Pang Bing: Well, even if you DID fix things, I'm afraid you have BIGGER things to worry about now. We gotta work on trust issues, because I have this strange feeling that you do this all the time, and you don't even face consequences for it. Do you have ANY of that in this group?
Lord Shen: Believe me, Ms. Bing, we have it, but the idiots here don't even learn properly. Mr. Whiskers here still hasn't learned how to respect privacy, and we punished him 17 times for it.
Icky: And much of us here do so many stupid things, they act as if nothing's the matter. SpongeBob has a habit of being insensitive much of the time, Patrick screws things up with his screwed-up behavior, and don't even get me started on that Fidget incident in Greece!
Pang Bing: Well, I'm sorry, but if we're going to do this, you need to give me a good reason to trust you. After THIS, you need to learn that I do NOT accept irresponsibility even in heroes like you.
Mr. Whiskers: WELL, GET USED TO IT, SISTER, THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF A CARTOON- (Brandy ties his mouth up with his ears)
Brandy: Don't rub it in, pellets-for-brains!
Pang Bing: So, if we got the point AND the CLEAR WARNING out of the way, can we discuss how we're going to make this split-up plan work?
Gazelle:... (Sighs) ("Pang, it's clear you've got to dominate more than just yourself AND your enemy. We NEED to dominate that small percentage of darkness left in you.")
Lord Shen: Well, we've already chosen the people to go on this trip. Fluttershy clearly wants to go to the Shore Temple because of the chance to see more sea life, and you and Gazelle are on that mission, too. Lu Kang, Hu, Woo, Ming, and the people from this world will join in the Imperial investigation.
Lu Kang: Great!
Kun Lao: Well, if you're going to start with that, then you'll have to go to the nearest Imperial colony from here which is run by Ko Long.
Shifu: You mean the Ox Emperor of the Shaanxi Province?
Kun Lao: The very same. He's the best place to start. But keep in mind, he's a little rough. Runs in the family as he had a great-grandfather who was Emperor of China once, AND among one of the roughest.
Po: Oy vey.
Shifu: Indeed. If you were to commit treason in the rule of Ko Loing, he'd do MORE than behead you. He'd make your life a living horror. Loing may no longer be alive, but Ko Long, despite his middle-aged status, clearly has inherited Loing's infamous attitude if you get him acted up enough.
Gazelle:... I must ask, why are Emperors of China so rough aside from the obvious?
Shifu: Well, take it like the Great Prince of the Forest. You can't show weakness, and you had to be tough all the time, and that includes showing no mercy as the leader of the country itself. Crimes against the Emperor himself has NEVER been merciful... Until now, that is.
Lu Kang: Guilty as charged.
Shifu: But to be fair, all the Emperors of China's past HAVE had a balanced side of sympathy, but only in private. They were only allowed to show weakness in private, AND in Kun Lao's case, you have to keep your species a secret to avoid undue attention. Kun Lao WAS truly as ruthless as we said he was.
Kun Lao: And don't you forget it. Remember that time when you used my name to teach the Dragon Warrior a lesson? When you claimed I fired you and left those Croc Bandits in charge, and that disobeying would be treason? Normally, if I HAD heard of that incident before my retirement, I'd have you suspended for using my name without my permission, but in this case, because it was for reasons I can understand given the Dragon Warrior's common idiocy, I will let it slide. But be warned that in the past, using the name of higher authority without consent was a punishable offense.
Shifu: Well, to be fair, I TRIED to ask you to tag in, but you were actually too busy with paperwork to pay attention and just said 'yes' without acknowledgement.
Kun Lao:...
Nostalgia Critic Fail Sound Effect
Hu:... Wow, your former highness!
Kun Lao: Okay, so I CAN be manipulated at times due to a few loopholes, but even CRIMINALS think twice about doing that, EVEN when ONE high-praised master was capable of doing so. Ko Long is a clear example of unacceptance of such a thing, as a guy in his Province used his name to get what he wanted, and ended up having his head rolling down the streets to his house and family. So when we confront him, be as loyal as you would to a normal Emperor.
Po: Shouldn't exactly be a problem.
Kun Lao: "Just..... One thing though..... He's a very blunt unapologenic critic to Lu Kang becoming emperor. He's..... Yet to understood Lu's athority over him. Espeically if it's over as something as serious as the Lu Kai line."
Icky: "Well that's what I'm curious about. Lu Kang's a buffalo, right? Like the Lu Kai. And, you said he was related to them in a way. So, why is he a Lu KANG and not a "Lu Kai"?"
Kun Lao: "Lu assended from a defecter strain of the traditional Lu Kai and denounced their original family name. Lu was, abit of a black sheep to both sides because of his..... Well, (Points to Lu Kang having his hands caught in the pickle jars again)..... It goes without saying."
Icky: "Well why did HE get to be emperor and not one of his par-"
Kun Lao: "DON'T, say it."
Thunderclap: "Don't say what, parents?"
Lu Kang gasped!
Lu Kang: "..... Mommy? Daddy?"
Lu Kang ran away crying!
Trixie: "..... Thunderclap?"
Thunderclap: "..... Yes?"
Trixie: "..... One more slip up, and your joining Pervis."
Thunderclap: "..... As you say, Great One. (Gulps nerviously.)"
Hu: "..... Me and Woo are gonna, go comfert Lu Kang..... And fix his Pickle Jar dillemma.... Again."
Hu and Woo left.
Kun Lao: "(Sighs sadly)...... Perhaps, it's time to reveil that, I'm not the only one to suffer a personal family tragity. As you were gonna say, your curious as to why we skipped a generation to make Lu Kang emperor?"
Icky: "Well, yeah. Why didn't Mr. Kang get to be Emperor and his wife as Empress? What, was there something wrong with them? Were they not proper Lu Kai defects or, or what?"
Kun Lao: ".... Lu Kang, is one of the surviving defects to have, survived one of the pure loyalists to the Lu Kai bloodline. He, was Lu Kai the Bloodline Purest. And once Patriarch of the Lu Kai family, before..... He went berserk. He had imperial solders loyal to the family strain to.... Punish the defecters."
Flashback.
An aftermath of a bloodbath was seen, as a baby Lu Kang was crying, as shadows of dangling Buffaloo were seen.
(Kun Lao): "My forces had arrived and long punished Lu Kai the 69th for his actions, which has further condemned the Lu Kai family. We were convinced that there was no survivers, until.... A servent found him."
An Antelope Servent found him and looked shocked, as she picked him up.
Antelope: "You poor thing!"
(Kun Lao): "He was weakened and malnourished, but the right care would garrentie his surviveal. It was the matter of having the imperial family even accept him since he was in tecnecality, a Lu Kai. But the servent bravely broke her vow of respect and demanded the child be taken under the imperial family's care.... She was lucky I stepped in, insiting the possability of using Lu to redeem the Lu Kai name and in term, the Imperial family name.... Begrudgingly, they accept, but only they are permited to change his Lu Kai name, to Lu Kang. From that day forword, he was no longer Lu Kai The 70th, or Lu Kai the Bumbling in the Lu Kai strain's words, or as the defecter name went, Kai Lu, but, he was know named Lu Kang. However, Lu Kai the 71 and 72 had remained to be seen, assumingly lost."
Flashback ends.
Kun Lao: "Lu Kang was under the surragant care of that kind servent girl ever since."
Icky: ".... Wow, and I thought Po had it bad."
Po: "Wait, if you did cared for Lu Kang, then what was with that whole "Banishing him to the Mongolian Wastes" crap?"
Kun Lao: "That was mainly the council demanding me to turn him into fighting capability because they didn't want him to be a weak emperor, just an easy target for assassination by enemies abroad and domestic!"
Iago: "So all that was just talk to motivate the guy to NOT be a complete joke?"
Kun Lao: "Don't worry, it was only something to keep the council from forcing me to have any adviser to be an heir instead of him! I had no desire to do it wilingly as I had hoped Shifu and his students would make him a fighter, and they did!...... Sort've."
Mantis: "It was kinda the best we can do."
Kun Lao: "Indeed. I'm just disgusted one of my finest Embessy, Meng Tao, wanted my blessing to become emperor! I trusted that Ibex with my life, and he conspires against me because he thinks Lu Kang is unworthy?"
Boss Wolf: "Hey to be fair, he can barely fight his way out of pickle jars. What self-respecting genius would think that guy's class-A leader material?"
Kun Lao: "Perhaps, but still! If he didn't wanted to put up with Lu Kang, he could've just asked me to assign him to an another emperor in the land with an heir not as.... Lu Kang-like. I cannot condone conspiracty and attempted assassination! He was lucky those Scougre Imperials saved him and that rhino of his as they did, his crime was worthy of beheadedment!"
Iago: "Well that's the evil adviser trope for ya."
Kun Lao: "But enough of the past. We should focus on the present."
Shrek: "Well, you said two Lu Kai's went missing since the family perfectionest went beserk, aye? So I willing to bet maybe it's one of those two?"
Kun Lao: "By all means, the 71st and the 72nd were found eventually, but..... We haven't kept track. Neither of those 2 were seen in ages."
Nick: "Well, all the more reason to ask Ku-Ku if he knows anything."
Kun Lao: "Oh, one last thing, don't use word-play on his name like that, he takes it as an insult worthy of death. Just a fair warning."
Nick: Not the first time that was of concern during my... Backward days.
Kun Lao: Then it's settled. One team helps Pang with her quest for redemption including... (Sighs) Her reduced trust issues unfortunately, and the rest of us will meet Ko Long.
Nick: Then let's 'Ko Long'! (Laughs and nudges Judy)
Judy:... (Sighs) Nick, sometimes you can still be as annoying as you were when we first met.
Nick: Guilty as charged.
Shifu: So we'll save one team the trouble by dropping you off at the Shore Temple to find the whereabouts of Hai Hoi. After that, we'll head on over to the Shaanxi Province.
Icky: "Sounds like a legit gameplan to me."
The Van goes onword.
A beach was seen.
Seaweed farming Seagulls are seen.
Seagull 1: "Wow, the harvest is very good this week."
Seagull 2: "Enough Seaweed to feed an entire kingdom. Who couldn't ask for more?"
Ship bells are heard.
The Seagulls looked onword in fear of an incoming ship.
It was filled with armed asian pirates as the ship was signifived by a picture of a Fish Skull crossed by two swords.
Seagull 1: "THE YELLOW SEA PIRATES?! Run?! Warn the village?!"
The two gulls flew off!
The Ship reaches shore, as a Gharial captain arrived with a pet eel on his side.
The Captain: "..... (Enhales)..... Ahhhhhhh....... Gentlemen. It's good to be home. Let this be known, that I, Captain Narrow-Snout, have return to my kingdom in the yellow seas. But it's more then a tearful reunion. A bird village has build it's foundation right on-top of my buried treasure of riches from around the world, including the sacred golden egg of the Dragon Gods. We, the pirates of the Yellow Sea, shall reclaim our birthright treasure, and make that bird village pay the price on tresspassing on my private land. Boys? Get your swords ready. You get to go on a savinger hunt. Those who claim the heads of average villagers, 1 point. Children and the Elderly? 4 points. Any village hero capable to be a threat? 20 points. And if you skewer the idiot village leader who planted his unautherised foundation, bring his head back to me, AND recover my treasure and the sacred egg? You win a well earned share of the booty."
Pirate: "AYE-AYE CAPTAIN?!"
Captain Narrow-Snout: "Good. Now let the games begin!"
The Pirates get off and charged to the direction the village would be!
Captain Narrow-Snout: "Nar-har-har-har! My beloved little pet Electric Eel, Ki-Kai, I can already hear the screams of villagers now."
Screams are heard!
Capain Narrow-Snout: "..... Wait, that's not the village..... That sounds like me crew?! Ok, just, what're those lilly-livered baffoons screaming abou-" (Suddenly, a Chinese water dolphin jumped out of nowhere with another Chinese white dolphin, along with a Pacific herring, a Baiji, a false killer whale, an Irrawaddy dolphin, a Long-beaked common dolphin, a Spinner dolphin, an Indo-pacific finless porpoise, a South Asian river dolphin, a Minke whale, a Loggerhead sea turtle, a Wader, and a dugong. This was Master Dolphin, who came out after knocking all the people from the land and into the water, beaten into unconsciousness)
Master Dolphin:... So... How many points are those?
Captain Narrow-Snout:..... Ohhh, barnicles. Probuly should've predicted this before I just sent my entire crew out there. How improper of me to forget about the lackeys of Master Hai Hoi.
Baiji: You are not fit to speak her name, pirate!
Captain Narrow-Snout: BITCH, I SAY WHAT I WANT!!! (Lashes at her with his tail but Master Dolphin snags it!)..... Why did I thought I was gonna get away with that?
Master Dolphin: You are not laying a hand on Jiāo'ào, Narrow-Snout! (Tosses the tail off as Narrow-Snout maintain his footing!) You are okay where you came from in India! You are no longer welcome in this place, and we WILL protect it from you!
Captain Narrow-Snout: Ehh, it was decent, but it was NOTHING like Jiāo'ào, the very place I was raised, and thus it is the ONLY place for me.
Herring: FYI, we would've gladly kept you around had it not been for the whole attacking the village thing!
Minke: "AND because your a pirate in procession of a sacred dragon god artifact. That's kinda a double-whammy of illegit."
Captain Narrow-Snout: THAT GOLDEN EGG WAS TAKEN FROM THAT DUSTY OLD SHRINE FAIR AND SQUARE?! BY PIRATE LAW, IT BELONGS TO ME NOW?! It was perfectly buried under the land the village RUINED?!
Dugong: He did NOT ruin the land, he BETTERED it! He made it much more fulfilling to even your foster family! YOU WERE JUST TOO STUBBORN TO ACCEPT IT! And on a personal note, Pirate Law isn't universeal around here!
Captain Narrow-Snout: Does the term 'tradition' mean anything to you jackasses?
Loggerhead: Sometimes tradition has to die. Tradition can sometimes be unfulfilling, and can do more harm than good.
Minke Whale: That's right! You dishonored your family and your home by being unaccepting!
Captain Narrow-Snout: DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT "HONOR" STUFF, YOU INSOLENT GUPPIES!!! THAT IS JUST DEROGATORY, AND YOU ASSHOLES KNOW IT!!! FROM THE FIRST MOMENT I PREACHED, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO!!! I AM NOT GIVING UP THAT GOLDEN EGG NEITHER?! NOR MY VAST TREASURES! IT WAS NOT EASY STEALING ALL THAT FROM AROUND THE WORLD?!
Master Dolphin: You know we cannot let you do that. You are nothing but a bad influence on this place, and your treasure is under the stewartship of-
Captain Narrow-Snout: SHUT UP! THAT TREASURE BELONGS TO NOBODY BUT ME!! YOU STOLE IT FROM ME, YOU LOUSY HYPOCRITES!!!
Master Dolphin's Brother: Because IT was ALREADY stolen! You STOLE that egg from the shrine!
Captain Narrow-Snout: Hey, THOSE sorry monks were at fault for leaving it there! If I didn't stolen it, some other guy will! Besides, those birds buildt their space-wasting village on top of WHERE I BURIED MY EARNINGS?! Tis only fair by pirate code that I reclaim it like how pirates should!
False Killer Whale: Well OUR CODE dictates we HAVE to put scum like you in their place! THAT'S why you are no longer welcome here. You KNOW the penalty for returning to Jiāo'ào! You belong in India!
Captain Narrow-Snout: BITE ME, NOT-A-KILLER-WHALE BOY! I am but a pirate who was robbed from it's glorious treasure because being kicked out by you twats!
Wader: Well serves you right!
Captain Narrow-Snout: Back-talk again and I'll feed you to my kin after roasting you! I am NOT leaving until I do what I CAME here to do! I'd sooner die before I leave without that egg empty-handed?!
Wader: EASIER SAID THAN DONE, WRINKLE-BACK!!!
Master Dolphin: NO! That's not the Kung Fu way, Wa Wa! I told you a thousand times! We must do it mercifully.
Captain Narrow-Snout: After what you did... THERE'S NO MERCY LEFT!!! Ki-Kai?
Ki-Kai hissed as it started to malmitulate electrisity like a power!
Master Dolphin: "ELECTRIC EEL?! TAKE COVER?!"
They did that as Ki-Kai attacked!
The Pirates began to recover and saw the specticale.
Captain Narrow-Snout: "All right boys, no need to worry about the masters for awhile! As you were!"
The Pirates resume their advance!
???: "PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD, CAPTAIN?! (Scats Dramatic Music!) (The Pirates looked confusingly at the incoming Van!)"
Captain Narrow-Snout: "Ye be kidding me, right?"
Pirate 1: "Look! That flying chariot thingie has hot-rod flames?!"
Older Pirate: "YOU IDIOTS! THAT BE THE FLYING VAN OF THE LOUGERS?!"
Pirate 2: "Well in that cause, LET'S SHOOT THOSE SUCKERS OUT OF THE SKY?!"
Cannons were aimed at the van!
Skipper: TOO SLOW! (They blast at them, destroying much of the ship)
Captain Narrow-Snout: DAAHH!!! YOU MISERABLE LITTLE SNOTS!! (He gets off the boat and onto where the ship was on the shore)... DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY BAMBOO TREES I HAD TO CUT DOWN TO MAKE THAT THING?!? I had to get FIVE of me fingers fixed afterwards! I was almost worthy of getting meself a hook afterwords!
Sparx: Well, EXCUUUUSE us for stopping a pirate raid, loser!
Captain Narrow-Snout: I'LL TEACH YA FOR DESRESPECTEN THE GREAT CAPTAI NARROW-SNOUT?! KI-KAI!! (He fires electricity that fries the van as it fell to the ground)
Skipper: AW, CRAP, WE'RE HIT! (They land the van and come out)
Captain Narrow-Snout: YEAH, DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DESTROYS YER' SHIP, HUH?!?
Kowalski: To be fair, you just fried it's electrical- (They blew it up with cannons)..... Okay, NOW you broke our van.
Alex:... (He gets on his knees) YOU MANIACS!!! YOU BLEW IT UP!!! DARN YOU!!! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!!!
Marty: Oh, quit yer' whining, we can always repair it with magic.
Alex:... Hey I was only being dramatic.
Captain Narrow-Snout: Oh, I was just getting started, wee lads-
Master Dolphin: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE PIRATE ACCENT! You never had it when we raised you.
Captain Narrow-Snout: Get off my case, dicknose! It comes with the terratory!
Master Dolphin:... Okay, just for that, I'm not gonna take it easy on you.
Captain Narrow-Snout: What're you gonna do, fish-slap me? (Uses Ki-Kai like a gun and even cocks her like one cartoonishly) Good luck with that. I'm loaded with lightning, and I'm not afraid to use it-
Dugong: PING SURPRISE BODYSLAM! (He jumps on Captain Narrow-Snout)
Captain Narrow-Shout: AAAAAAAAAH, HOLY ****** ********* **** **** *********, YOUR BUBBLE BUTT JUST BROKE EVERY BONE IN MY BODY!!! I CAN'T FEEL MY ANYTHING, YOU BIG FAT SEA DUMPLING-
Dugong (Ping): Call me 'fat' again, Captain Crocodile Tears! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!
Master Dolphin: That'll do, Ping! That'll do!
Ping: Yeah, that's what happens when you mess with 'The Ping'!
Herring: Now for that 'fish slap' you mentioned! (He slaps him multiple times)
Baiji: Alright, Captain Narrow-Snout, or should I say, Nai Shoung-
Captain Narrow-Shout: Don't... EVER... call me-
Herring: SHUT THE F*** UP! (Slaps him) We'll be the ones doing the talking!
Baiji: Yes, because like a broken person once said: "Bitch, I say what I want"! Just call that a cruel joke for the right to remain silent!
Nick: (Chuckles) Came up with that one this one time.
Captain Narrow-Shout: Goddamn it, you little trout-
Herring: I JUST SAID 'SHADDAP'! (He bitch-slapped him again)
Baiji: As I was saying, you are clearly not going to leave this village alone, so I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest you.
Captain Narrow-Shout: NOT IF I HAVE ME CREW MATES WITH ME- (The pirates were already seen pwned by the lougers.)...
Daiji: You were saying?
Captain Narrow-Shout:... Is, it not to call for a parley, because I DON'T feel like arguing with a girl who LOST HER ENTIRE SPECIES IN A GENOCIDE!! (Fluttershy covered her mouth in shock, as did much of them who knew of the Baiji river dolphin's functionally-extinct status, and the Baiji was clearly angered)
Baiji: "..... Those of you not Narrow Snout, might wanna cover your ears."
The Heroes did that.
The camera went off into the distance as a painful crack and a dry banshee-like painful scream was heard.
Captain Narrow-Snout: "..... HA! Jokes on you! I can't hear anything?!....... Wait..... I GONE DEAF!? WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?!"
Baiji: "Aw relax you big baby, it'll only be lke that for several days."
Master Dolphin: OWCH! We still heard quite a bit. Yeesh, Chixu, I know you're still sensitive about that, but still!
Ki-Kai was behind the Baiji and was about to administer a shocking bite!
Bubbha: "Oh no you don't, ya little sneak! (Grabs Ki-Kai and ties her to a knot!) That outta learn ya."
Ki-Kai tried to reuse the electrisity but the power was restircted by the tangled up body.
Captain Narrow-Snout: "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME?! NOR TO KI-KAI?! DAH!? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M SAYING?!"
Master Dolphin: "Let's just hurry up and put this idiot in a holding cell until we can call the Indian Ahorities to pick him up."
Later.
Narrow-Snout and Ki-Kai were seen in a litteral hanging cage called the "Holding Cell".
Narrow-Snout: "...... Ki-Kai, sweetie, your gonna have to help daddy out until he can hear again. Respond with a yes if you understood what I said."
Ki-Kai nodded yes.
The Heroes were seen going downwerd the path from it.
Master Dolphin: "....... So, Lougers, might I ask, why did you came and help us? Narrow-Snout is not usually a signifient enough threat to require Louger Aide. We had managed to beat him several times before."
Icky: "Well we were nice enough to not have that asshole distract you guys from needed business."
Master Dolphin: "Business?"
Shifu: "Master Dolphin, recently, we defeated a Mothron on this planet with a dystopian control over the Land of Prosperity, but before that, we managed to have contained Pang Bing. Let's, just say there's alot more to her then what was shown. And we need to have her cleansed of what was left of the Mothron's enfluence. We hope to ask you of Hai Hoi's location."
Master Dolphin: "..... Well I'm sorry to say that you wasted your time. Hai Hoi was VERY spefific about not reveiling her location to ANYONE, not even to trusted allies, espeically not even as an award for being grateful of aide against something that isn't usually a great concern! And trust me, I take abiding to vows, VERY SERIOUSLY! And even then, Hai Hoi may be kind, but she has grown cautious about waving it around hap-hazordly ever since..... Certain events. Whatever you would want her to heal, even if you have the best evidence that your not gonna take it for granted, she'd be far from willing to aide."
Icky: "Aw come on, buddy, we know she went to the Himalayas."
Master Dolphin: "But not WHERE, in that place. Without proper guidence, you would sooner be another victim of those unforgiving mountains then to be graced by Hai Hoi."
Judy: "Okay, we get it, you have a promise to keep, but, you don't have to tell us yourself, just, give us a map or something and we'll figure it out ourselves."
Master Dolphin: "Hai Hoi was spefific about not giving directions of any kind. Whether by words, OR by paper. That's why she forbidden us from making ANY maps of her location. Trust me. She does NOT, want to be found."
Nick: "Look, keeping a promise is fine and dandy and all, but we need to make sure this poor cat right there doesn't end up being a flight-risk and/or villain bait for another Mothlock or worse. And honesty, Hai Hoi's the only one who can garrentie that."
Master Dolphin: "I understand that, but, it would NOT be honorable of me to sacrivice the vow of a good friend AND a respected sage, for even a note-worthy cause, let alone helping you misfits make sure your latest controversey bait doesn't bite you in the tail."
Icky: "Hey come on, how is that fair?! We help you out with Captain Croc over there and your ain't returning the favor?!"
Master Dolphin: "Well as I said, Narrow-Snout is not usually a louger concern! You basicly committed an equilent of a super hero stopping a low level criminal any rookie enforcer could've handled! It's basic overkill at it's finest."
Po: "Wha...... Well talk about ungrateful?!"
Master Dolphin: "..... Ungrateful? UNGRATEFUL?! This isn't a matter of me appresiating the help! I do! I'm just saying that it was both un-nessersary and doesn't change my vow to respect Hai Hoi's wishes! Doing us a faver is not worthy of violating a promise!"
Po: "I can't believe your afraid of not respecting of a measly promise to help great heroes out! Ya know what?! I no longer feel bad about about wrecking your family's armor by dumb accsident- (Covers his mouth!)"
Master Dolphin: "..... (Angry) Excuse, ME?!"
Po: "...... Ya see, my biological dad was visiting at the time, and I was showing him some cool stuff in the Jade Palace and.... We, may've played with the weapons and the armor for abit and..... Hey come on, it already has years of battle damage anyway, so what's a few dents?"
Master Dolphin: "THAT ARMOR WAS IN MY FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS AND IS A SIGIMA OF HONOR AND RESPECT BETWEEN THE HARD-SHIPS OF THOSE OF THE OCEAN AND THE LAND?! IT WAS GIVEN TO OOGWAY AS A SYMBOL OF PEACE BETWEEN OUR COMMUNITES?!"
Po: "A symbol of- (Wheeses)!...... Peace?"
Master Dolphin: "YES YOU FAT, VORACIOUS IDIOT?! DID YOU NOT KNOW OF THE LAND/SEA WAR?! BOTH CREATURES OF LAND AND SEA WERE AT WAR WITH EACHOTHER BECAUSE OF THE CHI CURSE CAUSED BY SOME ANGRY VENGEFUL GOOSE WIZARD BECAUSE OF AN EMPEROR FROM THE LAND'S SIDE?! OOGWAY CONVINCED US TO STOP THE WAR BY ASKING MY FATHER TO SURRENDER THE ARMOR IN HIS CARE?! WITH THE PROMISE THAT IT'LL BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND DIGNITY!?"
Po: "A duhhhhhh....... A prom, A pre...... A promise to treat with respect and dignity?........ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh."
Icky: "I, don't think I like where this is going."
Master Dolphin: "BY DOING WHAT YOU JUST DID TO MY FAMILY'S ARMOR, IT IS SYMBOLIC THAT YOU DO NOT RESPECT THE SEA ANYMORE?! IT IS A DECLARATION OF WAR?!"
Lougers: "WAR?!"
Po: "W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WAR?!"
Master Dolphin: "AS OF NOW, LAND CREATURES ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED NEAR THE YELLOW SEA?! YOU ARE ALL EXSILED FROM THIS BEACH?! AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EVER SEEK OUT HAI HOI?! AND IF YOU HAD ANY RESPECT FOR US SEA CREATURES, YOU RESPECT THAT?! NOW BEGONE AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT?!"
Judy: "Okay, isn't a war abit too hasty for an old piece of metal that was likely already not in very good condition as it is?"
Mantis: "..... Congratulations, Po. YOU JUST INCITED ANOTHER WAR, ONLY IT'S GARRENTIED TO BE WORSE THEN GORILLA WARFARE?! IT'S THE STARTING OF ANOTHER LAND/SEA WAR?!"
Thunderclap: "Pfft! I'm sure it's nothing! What're they gonna do? They're stuck in the water and WE, are on land! They're no threat to us!"
Shifu: Well, like Mugen, they are capable of staying on land for long periods of time, as long as they can replenish themselves with water. And even then, it's not gonna hold them back. Lack of moisture is never a deterence. You've seen what Mugen can do, just imagine what an entire army from THE SEA can do!
Fluttershy: (Cries) Now I'll never get to see them at their purest, and just see them at their WORST! (Cries waterfalls of tears)
Po:... Shifu, pardon my sudden rudeness, but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT MASTER DOLPHIN'S ARMOR BEING A SYMBOL OF PEACE BETWEEN LAND AND SEA CREATURES?!? That DEFINITELY sounded like something that I WOULD'VE liked to know to avoid all this!!
Shifu: Because Master Dolphin is quite sensitive about that war, and I respected his wishes the finest. But in this case, I agree it MIGHT'VE been a mistake, so perhaps it COULD'VE been my fault for not informing you of this.
Po: Well, if I'm going to fix the s*** I just caused, I'm gonna need some help!
Fluttershy: NO!!! (The word echoed as everyone was surprised)... I REFUSE to have bad animal relationships ruin these poor heroes JUST BECAUSE OF SOME CRUEL CIRCUMSTANCE!!! I am walking back over there, and I am talking some SENSE into those masters!
Twilight: FLUTTERSHY, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!? I know, you care for them because of your newfound love for sea life, but MASTER DOLPHIN DOES NOT SOUND LIKE SOMEONE TO TELL OFF!!!
Fluttershy: I have talked down the MEANEST of animals before, so I don't CARE how this goes down! It's clear that Master Dolphin had something HE DIDN'T TELL US!! I AM GOING DOWN THERE, AND TALKING SOME SENSE INTO THEM! (She flies off, and even Rainbow Dash was incapable of stopping her)
Rainbow Dash: FLUTTERSHY, NO!! HE'S GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE!!!
Fluttershy: LET HIM TRY!!
Crane:... Oh, dear!
Shore Temple
Chixu:... Master Dolphin, a word?
Master Dolphin: No, Chixu! I am just too tainted by dishonor to talk right now!
Chixu: I'm afraid no is not an answer. This is unacceptable! A WAR?!? BANISHMENT OF HEROES WHO DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER?!? Do you have ANY idea how pissed the High Council is going to be after hearing about this?
Master Dolphin: I'm not saying a word. I'm going through with it as the master of the yellow sea, and that's f- (Chixu pounded her fin on the ground in a similar fashion to Tigress' beat-the-truth-out-of-Po incident)...
Chixu:... THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO HONOR HAI HOI'S LEGACY, MASTER!! I am NOT going to let you just follow through with this. A war? This is BOUND to cause mass hysteria! YOU'RE GOING TO APOLOGIZE, AND MAKE AMENDS, AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO DISOBEY THE MASTER OF THIS TEMPLE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT!!!
Master Dolphin:... Chixu... I'll admit, your courage is surprising, but I'm standing to my ground-
Chixu: NOOOOOOOOWW!! (The word echoes)
Master Dolphin:... (Sighs) Okay, look, I'm sorry! You know how upset I get when things of my family heritage are scratched. Yes, it was battle-weakened for years, but it's still priceless family property handed down by my family! It's NOT wise to mess with or even play with it!
Chixu: Well, you'd better apologize, or I assure you, the problem may as well just crash through our door like- (Fluttershy stormed in with her 'you're going to LOVE ME!!!' face)
Fluttershy: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RUDE OF YOU TO BAN US FROM THIS PLACE BECAUSE OF CRUEL CIRCUMSTANCE!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!! THIS IS LIKELY GOING TO DISHONOR HAI HOI AND YOUR FAMILY'S NAME!! Did you happen to KNOW about the Dragon Warrior's idiocy?
Master Dolphin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, look, miss, I admit, it's a little bit of a-
Fluttershy: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!
Master Dolphin: YES!!!
Fluttershy: SO THIS WAS NO DOUBT GOING TO HAPPEN SOMEDAY!!! YOU'RE AT LEAST LUCKY IT WASN'T DESTROYED!!! I DEMAND THAT YOU APOLOGIZE, OR SO HELP ME, I WILL ENSURE THAT THE STARE DOESN'T SHOW ANY MERCY WITHIN YOU!
Master Dolphin:... Come again?
Rainbow Dash: 'The Stare' is an animal-whispering technique she uses where she intimidates animals with a frightening stare.
Master Dolphin:... You serious? I am a Kung Fu Master! How is a simple stare going to- (Fluttershy uses it as it appeared far more intimidating than ever as he and Chixu got a horrible flashback)
(???): (In Master Dolphin's flashback as a silhouetted dolphin-like figured looked at him with a similar stare) I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, SON! YOU ARE NO LONGER MY TREASURED STUDENT! (The word echoed in his mind)
(???): (In Chixu's flashback, as another silhouette looked at her the same way) THE EMPEROR SAID YOU'RE FIRED FROM THE RIVER TEMPLE! YOU WILL HONOR HIS DECISION, OR YOU AND YOUR SPECIES WILL BE ACCUSED OF TREASON, AND EXECUTED!! (The word echoed in her mind)
Master Dolphin/Chixu: (They were no doubt terrified)
Rainbow Dash:...
Fluttershy: SO, ARE YOU GOING TO APOLOGIZE AND MAKE AMENDS, OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO CONVINCE SHIFU TO TAKE THIS UP WITH THE HIGH COUNCIL, AND HAVE YOU PUNISHED?!?
Master Dolphin: (The two showed signs of crying)
Fluttershy: (Feeling her sensitivity of scaring kick in, she immediately backed down) Oh, no!... Did-Did I take it too far? I am SO sorry!
Master Dolphin: NO! You've MORE than convinced me! THAT STARE!! IT WAS... IT WAS ALL TOO FAMILIAR!!
Chixu: IT WAS FOR ME TOO!!! JUST PLEASE DON'T MAKE IT WORSE THAN IT ALREADY IS!!
Master Dolphin: Please, just know I was doing this for the honor of my family!
Fluttershy: Well, it's NOT very honorable to just ignore the facts of a warrior you CLEARLY knew was flawed.
Master Dolphin: Just, just please, don't show us that horrid stare again! It reminds us of TOO MUCH!!! (Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash looked confused at each other)
Outside the Temple
Master Dolphin's Brother: Yeah, they had good reason to be afraid, sadly. Your Stare APPARENTLY reminded them of terrible things in their past. The Stare you just displayed was far too familiar with a similar stare brought on by disapproving people. In this case... Our father.
Fluttershy:... Father?
Master Dolphin's Brother: You see, one day, my brother did something that dishonored his family name that caused his father to renounce him as his honored student. Since that was like disowning a child in his eyes, that scarred him too much. He refused to leave his room for an entire year after that. It was crazy, and he is as sensitive about that as Chuxi is to... Clear reasons she prefers we keep a secret.
Fluttershy:... Does it involve this 'genocide of her species'?
Master Dolphin's Brother: Yes, but, if you wanna learn more, you'll have to take it up with Chuxi. And even then, it'll be hard for her to admit the horrible events that went down in the Yangtze River without cracking up more than she is already. Every time she speaks of it, she gets VERY upset, which is why she takes SERIOUS offense to anyone who brings it up like Narrow-Snout did.
Fluttershy:... That's horrible!
Master Dolphin's Brother: Indeed. Now, just bring your comrades in, and we'll make sure that my brother makes up for everything. Just, keep in mind, he's, even more then unlikely to share Hai Hoi's place, if not just because he wants to honor that vow no matter what and that he's kinda mad at the Dragon Warrior, but.... Well, he's too much of a blittering mess now, and, even IF he does go back on the vow even a smidge, anything he would say would be rediculiously incoherent. That, runs the risk of the infomation being.... Incorrect. And that's not good for locating Hai Hoi.
Fluttershy: ".... What have I done? I.... I didn't know he had father issues, I-"
Rainbow Dash: "It's, okay Flutters, you didn't know. We're, sorry if we caused any trouble, we're, gonna leave Master Dolphin alone instead. We're gonna have to relie on ourselves then."
The duo leave.
MD's Brother: ".... If it helps, he'll change his mind about the banishment and, maybe rethink the war with negotsiations with Shifu about the armor?"
Rainbow Dash's voice: "Good to know."
Van.
Gazelle: "YOU REDUSED HIM TO TEARS BECAUSE YOU INADVERTINGLY REMINDED HIM OF HIS FATHER ISSUES AND NOW HE'S IN NO POSITION TO BE RELIEABLE ABOUT GIVING THE LOCATION OF HAI HOI!?"
Icky: "..... Shit! If you can make an accomplish Kung Fu master cry, I'm NOT gonna pick on you for being a gutless cowerd!..... As often as usual."
Gilda smacks him!
Icky: "OW?! Saw that coming."
Fluttershy: "I'm sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to. I just thought he needed a nodge and-"
Pang Bing: "WELL THANKS TO YOUR INCOMPIDENCE, NOW HE'S EVEN MORE UNLIKELY TO BE A USE TO US, YOU-"
Gazelle covered Pang Bing's mouth.
Gazelle: "..... Don't mind Pang Bing, she's alittle upset too. Anyway, Flutters, don't blame yourself. You at least potaintionally scared him out of war and banishment. And even if he wasn't a total mess now, he was likely to still insist that he can't betray Hai Hoi's favor of helping us. And, maybe it's for the best we don't push him on it. I think we upsetted him enough as it is."
Fluttershy: You're right. Besides, it REALLY upsets me when animals of such elegant status like dolphins behave this way. I can see why he did such, quite frankly. When your father renounces you of such a good status, it can make ANYONE mean. And the Baiji dolphin?
Kowalski: Yeah, they're known to be of a functionally-extinct status because of human activity in their home in the Yangtze River, and they do their best to protect them. No doubt Chixu suffered something similar.
Shifu: Actually, Master Dolphin told me of such a past. You see, Chixu was a Kung Fu master of a Temple in the Yangtze River when her species was still prosperous there. But... There was a greedy person in the Imperial City who once tried to establish a highly-profitable business there until the Temple forbidden him from doing so. So, he tricked the Emperor into firing them. As I said before, to disobey Kun Lao's decisions would be treason, and no doubt highly punishable, and in Chixu's case..... Was threatened of genocide. Keep in mind that this event accured sometime after his son died, so, Kun Lao was, not in his right way of thinking. He would've known better to heed faver of an obviously greedy louse and had better respect for the temple of the river, but.... Tragity can bring people to make questionable choices. It helped little that there was also an economic drought that needed to be addressed, so he had to adhere reguardless. Thus, the Temple heeded to the decision, and shut down the Temple, leaving the business goer free to do what he wanted with the river.
Icky: "Who was the dude anyway?"
Shifu: An owner of a popular clay pottery line of business. The owner heard about untabbed clay at the river and wanted full unimpeded access to it. He gotten to that clay shorce and his business benifited from it, but at the price of the river being tainted by freed toxins where the clay was harboring. Fish and other waterlife residence were getting sick, and the business goer cared for nothing but his greed, even when the poison could potaintionally effect all of china if it was allowed to get further down the river. That was when Chixu desided to do something, and not ignor the suffering in faver of not being in an emperor's bad tidings. But sadly.... It was not a well worthwhile risk.... When Chixu tried to make the poison threat known to the Emperor, he accused her having something to do with it, and dubbed it as treason, and thus made true on his promise of genocide. As you can imagine, it rendered them to the same status as it is on many worlds. Chixu was mentally broken beyond belief, especially when she failed to save her family, and later herself. But before she could perish, the Emperor FINALLY discovered the ruse, thanks to the business owner's netourious bad tendingy to brag and his big mouth exposing his true colors. So, of course, thanks to that greedy mongrel's own hubris, dispite pleas of just wanting to have a strong business, the emperor sentenced him to death. But despite that, along with apologizing AND doing something to stop the toxins from effecting more then the river, Chixu accused the him for letting it happen at all and for accusing her of what was clearly the business goer's fault, denouncing him as emperor and smacked him in the face, nearly costing him one of his fangs, so she left forever into the Yellow Sea, where she eventually met Hai Hoi and now fights for Master Dolphin. She remains sensitive of her functionally-extinct status to this very day.
Lord Shen:... Sweet Yinglong! And I thought I was the worst at genocide!
Icky: "AND NO FREAKING WONDER WHY HE WANTED TO HAVE LU KANG AS HEIR AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE EMPEROR ANYMORE?! THAT HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST DIPSHIT MOVE IN HISTORY?!
Fluttershy: (She was crying hysterically along with much of the other heroes) THAT'S JUST CRUEL! HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO SUCH A PRECIOUS SPECIES?!?
Gazelle: Normally, I'd dub this as another point of weakness on this world, but I do NOT wanna make myself a mockery again through social justice mierda.
Shifu: And it is another reason why using the Emperor's name and any other higher powers of any kind is a punishable offense, ESPECIALLY when the Unicorn Council did it during that Plunder Weed incident. Higher powers' punishment are known to be horrid, and thus, with careful manipulation, it can be used to do horrible things to innocent people. Yet after what just occurred, it's clear we need to leave them be, and just go to the Himalayas and find Hai Hoi ourselves.
Gazelle: "Well, maybe we can at least figure out what Lu Kai we're dealing with from Ko Long?"
Shifu: "We have to wait on the other teams returning report for that." (The communicator acts up)
Icky: Hello?... Yeah?... Yeah?... Okay, I see! We'll be waiting right here! Bye! (He hangs up) Apparently, the other Lodgers need clearance to get into Shaanxi Province.
Shifu: Oh, that's right. The Great Wall Initiative. I completely forgot it comes on today. Apparently, the Kung Fu Council decreed that, until this Mothlock mess is fixed, the Great Wall Initiative is to come into temporary effect, and thus all the provinces of China are to have clearance to enter, and even if they are heroes, they need the password to get in.
Po: NOW you tell us!
Fluttershy:... Can I at least-
Twilight: YES, Fluttershy, you can go in the water while you wait. (Fluttershy squees and goes on to the waters near the Temple)...
Mantis: I swear, sometimes, her cuteness can be contagious even to the people of this world.
Applejack: So, I guess we have to wait, huh?
Pinkie: Yep! And I got JUST the thing to clear our minds! SNOWBALL FIGHT!! (They ended up doing it quickly)
Shaanxi Province
The city in the area appears deserted.
Lights are seen around the palace.
The Palace.
Sad flute music is heard, as a gathering of servents and city dwellers in white are seen enmass, before a Deer that looks like Meng Tao, but with Glasses.
Pig Guard: "All shall hear the words of Adviser Meng Tong."
Meng Tong (The Glasses-wearing Meng Tao look-a-like): "Thank you, Zhu Don. It is with, my deepest, regret, that our beloved emperor, Ko Long..... Has passed away. (An artist painting of an aged Ox was seen, as a podium is holding the ox in question). Here he lies, dead. Cut, from his life. How we were robbed of a powerful bovine. But..... We must remember, that he was but a mortal. It is ineditable this day comes as it did. And so tragicly soon when he was sleeping the night before we were gonna have our winter feast. Never again, would we enjoy a feast as grand as he would come up it. Now, it's all gone. (Folks cry)...... But with the death of an old age, rises from the ashes, is the new. Ko Long was not the only one who died to day. It, is also Monarchy. The time for change is now, and since Ko Long was never one for heirs, by law the adviser takes over in his place. And, my first and only act as emperor, is to introduse...... Demockacry, into Shaanxi Province, denounce dependence with the rest of china, and start our own legacy. It is what Ko Long would've wanted. And now, we shall say farewell to an old age, with the traditional creamation."
Two Rhino Guards stood over Ko Long's body with torches and jars of a flamable oil.
Ko Long's body was doused with the stuff, and thus, they torched the body, the creamation started.
The People cried.
Meng Tong: "Don't weep for our deceased ex-leader. For soon, a new age begins. I leave you all to solice."
Meng Tong and Zhu Don leave.
The Throwenroom.
Meng Tong: (They entered)... (He began to laugh uncontrollably)
Zhu Don: "Well sir, your dreams of demockcy in this world have finally paid of. Your younger brother Meng Tao would've been thrilled."
Meng Tong: "Yes, Zhu Don. After many years of suffering from the sins of the Lu Kai on how the Meng family were enslaved into servitude, the Meng family shall have their revenge yet. And all it took, was using a poisonious flower to have Ko Long to eat. That fool had a weakness of eating flowers like a primitve imbacle! Now that a member of the Imperial enslavers is dead, the Meng family can begin to free China from Imperial tyanny and bring demockacry to this barbaric world."
Zhu Don: "Yes sir. And the winter feast is a perfect oppertunity to celebrate the rise of a new order."
Meng Tong: "Yes. An order that is fair and benvolent. An order free from the sinful Imperial Family and their many mistakes! An order, to make china a better place.... An order where suffering can never happen again..... An order of freedom...... My only regret, is that mother and father are not alive to see this accomplishment..... (Sheds a small regretful tear)..... My, other regret, is that Meng Tao isn't here with us.... He would've been thrilled."
Zhu Don: "Well, he's kinda stuck with those Scougre Imperials, so-"
Meng Tong: "DON'T, REMIND ME?! I'll one day be able to rescue him from his unfortunate position one day, whether he would like it or not since I heard he's grown to like being around those fiends! Classic Shockholm. But the least I can do is to atthive our dream of avenging the Meng family and bring demockracy to this barbaric land of China. And it starts, here. Soon the news of Ko Long's death of "nateral causes" will be heard throughout the land. It will lead our family member's know that a Meng has succeeded, and will make their own move in taking down another Emperor of the Imperial family. Nothing will ruin this."
A wolf guard barged in!
Wolf: "SIR?! KUN LAO AND EMPEROR LU KANG AND SEVERAL HEROES ARE COMING THIS WAY?!"
Lang Du: "I'm serious sir! They were dropped on the outskirts by the van hours ago."
Meng Tong: "ARE THEY IN THE CITY?!"
Lang Du: "Not yet!"
Meng Tong: "(Hyperventelates, then calms down.).... Good..... Then we now have a way to spread the news of Ko Long dying of "Old Age". As far as Kun Lao knows, my brother merely went rouge because he couldn't stand his insufferable idiot grandson! He trusts the other Meng family members. He'll take my word, seriously. Have the guards eschourt them to the city. I want them to know about the, "unfortunate" news."
Lang Du: "Sir yes sir! Wait, by eschourt, you mean forcefully, or, like as if everything's normal?"
Meng Tong: "The second thing, you idiot?!"
Lang Du: "Got ya!"
Lang Du ran off!
Meng Tong: "(Sighs)..... Insufferable mutt."
Outskirts of the city.
Kun Lao: "Ko Long's city shouldn't be too far from here."
Lu Kang: I know, right? Ko Long is sure to aid us well. He may not be allowed to reveal alot, but we'll get something out of him. (They approached the city)
Lang Du: (He appears)... Hello, Emperor Lu Kang!
Lu Kang: Hi Lang Du! We we're here to see Emperor Ko Long. There's some trouble with black sheep of the family and stuff and, we need to address that.
Lang Du:... Well... Unfortunately... That's what I need to discuss with you. He died of natural causes just last night.
Lu Kang/Kun Lao: WHAT?!?
Po: How exactly DID he die? Wasn't he in his middle-ages?
Lang Du: Well, he has failing organs, and it was made worse by food poisoning. So, Meng Tong has taken over.
Shifu:... As in the brother of Meng Tao?
Lang Du: Precisely. I shall escort you to him so he can fulfill your needs.
Shifu:... Indeed so. (They go in)
Po:... Shifu, are you sure with Meng Tao's brother in charge, we'll get the info we need?
Shifu: Just calm yourself, Po! It appears I need to have a SERIOUS talk with Meng Tong himself in private, because I have this strange feeling that something's not right.
Sir Hiss: What're you saying, Shifu?
Shifu: The Meng family have quite a bad history with the Lu family. I'll explain later.
Shaanxi Palace
Meng Tong: (As the heroes enter)... Hello, Master Shifu, Dragon Warrior, and all their friends. I take it you heard the news?
Tigress: Indeed. And it IS unfortunate. Ko Long seems to have had a GOOD run in as Emperor of the Shaanxi Province.
Donkey: And for some reason, Shifu here seems a little uppity about you considering your related to a foe of ours.
Shrek: Donkey!
Shifu: (Sighs) Don't mind him, Emperor Tong. But yes, I may need to have a talk with you in private concerning this... Unfortunate... Death.
Meng Tong:... Anything you wish, Master Shifu. (They go off as he signals Lang Du unnoticed as he runs off)
Lord Shen:... You know something? Considering he's the brother of an enemy... I think I may know what Shifu's curious about.
Boss Wolf: Are you insinuating that that guy is responsible in some way? He seems harmless, and not like his brother.
Tigress: And it would be considered rude to snoop around the palace because of something we can't specify.
Lord Shen: Well, I don't think it's wise to stand around here and wait for something to happen. Come with me.
Zhu Don: You guys are leaving already? Don't you want some food? You must be starving from your journey here.
Po: OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING MY LANGUAGE- (Shen slaps him) OW! Okay, sorry.
Lord Shen: Well... If you're sure, would you mind showing us around?
Zhu Don: Gladly.
Throneroom
Shifu: (As they entered)... Emperor Tong... How exactly did Ko Long die? I mean, Lang Du said he died of food poisoning, but... What does that entail?
Meng Tong: Well, apparently, the salad he ate didn't agree with his weakening organs. The toxins inside seemed to be affective against his weakening stomach acids, so it stands to reason he-
Shifu: Well, according to his life history, he had a habit of eating flowers. What exactly was in that salad?
Meng Tong: These seem like an awful lot of questions for you to ask me. What's this all about?
Shifu: Well, I seem to recall seeing something near where you cremated Ko Long. This. (Shows him a plant seed)... Seems to be the seed of the Wisteria tree. Highly toxic, you know. This proves that the Emperor... Was assassinated.
Meng Tong:... And who would do that, I ask?
Shifu: Well, considering your family's history with the Imperial leaders, ESPECIALLY your brother, I think I may have a pretty good idea.
Meng Tong:... Are you accusing ME of this crime? PREPOSTEROUS!!! The Wisteria trees of my kingdom have been dead stumps for years.
Shifu:... (He shows him all the healthy Wisterias in the area)...
Meng Tong:... Well, I STILL don't claim responsibility. If you want answers, ask the Pangolin florist who planted them.
Shifu: The florist is a well trusted friend of the imperial family. She would never do such a thing.
Meng Tong: You are being absurd, Master Shifu! My family may've been underappreciated by the family, but I do NOT wish to disgrace myself like my brother did. There is NO evidence pinning me to such a crime.
Shifu:... (He reaches into his pocket and comes out with Wisteria seeds)...
Meng Tong:... THOSE WERE PLANTED-
Shifu: Meng Tong, you are under arrest for the murder of Emperor Ko Long! (Suddenly, crossbow cocks were heard behind him as wolves held him at gunpoint)...
Meng Tong:... Hands on your head, Master Shifu! Now! (Shifu did so until the wolves were knocked out by the other Lodgers)
Lord Shen:... Just as I suspected!
Meng Tong: ZHU DAN, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED!!
Zhu Dan: I'm sorry, Tong! They tricked me into giving them a tour, and they spread out across the Palace and took out the security.
Kun Lao: Meng Tong, this is an outrage! The murder of a well-praised Emperor is severely punishable, you know!
Meng Tong: How can you accuse me of murder after YOUR family is guilty of such a thing?
Kun Lao: That's all in the past, and you know it!
Meng Tong: That's no excuse for what your family did to MINE! My brother had GOOD reason to turn on the royal family! YOUR FAMILY BROUGHT US INTO SERVITUDE TO YOUR FAMILY AGAINST OUR WILL!! YOUR FAMILY TOOK US FROM OUR PROSPEROUS LIFE!!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE US ALL FROM THAT! Your royal family has gone unpunished for FAR too long! Lu Kai II was NOT going to go unnoticed forever, and year after year of cruel asshole after cruel asshole, people were oppressed past the point of sanity and tolerability. It's clear that your family has NEVER changed from the first moment it did unethical bulls***! Well, after all that, and after what YOU did in YOUR time as Emperor, I'm afraid an Imperial government is a type of government that must DIE! Democracy is the new and RIGHTFUL government of this country. My family went unavenged for FAR too long. My parents told both me AND Tao that if we should EVER get the chance to bring the Lu Kai strain to it's knees, then do it! And that's what I'm doing. Tao failed in HIS methods, and I refuse to fail in MINE! AS NEW AND FIRST PRESIDENT, I ORDER YOU TO BACK DOWN IMMEDIATELY!!!
Lord Shen: Why should we after all this?
Meng Tong:... You want me to reveal the ENTIRE Lu Kai strain misdeeds to ALL of this province? I will order my messenger to tell them EVERYTHING if you have me arrested! THAT'S why! So, last chance, leave now!
Po: "Okay, hold up. Earlier before you were yapping about "Demockacy" and stuff! What's that all about?"
Meng Tong: "Ahh, yes, I believe I am due of some explanation-"
Shifu: "Allow me to explain, Meng. I wish to give a less, biased telling."
Meng Tong: "..... D'oh, all right. BUT NO ABLIBS OR TRICKS?!"
Shifu: "...... The Meng family were philosififers ahead of their time."
Flashback.
A family of regel Ibexes are surrounded by adoring supporters.
(Shifu): "The Mengs wished to bring a new form of bureocratic powers that would render the current system obsilette, because it would give the people more power on who would be allowed to make the law. His family wished to have the Imperial Monarchy to be replaced with Demockacy, or simply as, the system of choosing a new leader after a certain term has reached it course, as they believe that having a new ruler by bloodlines as typical in monarchies, espeically imperial ones, runs the risk of political stagnantion of those who want change never being allowed that chance, and the land being kept consistently cold and unforgiving. It's a well intentioned belief ahead of it's time, and many people loved what the Mengs have intentions for."
(Squidward): "Let me guess..... Lu Kai the second was having none of that?"
(Shifu): "(Sighs)..... I wish to say that this is incorrect...... But, it's indeed true."
Shadows formed around the Meng family as the rising supporters quickly and cowerdly retreated as the Mengs looked in shock.
(Shifu): "The Lu Kai Emperor was far from forgiving on what is tecnecally an act of inspiring a revolution, and threatening his family, when the Mengs are only guilty of only wishing to inspire a change in no way a threat to them. But Lu Kai The second didn't earned his surname name, "Lu Kai the Terrable", for having an ounce of understanding. Even so much as a tiny change in how the imperial empire worked is deemed a threat to him, something as great as replacing it with demockacry..... He was not standing for it."
Lu Kai sicced his soldiers onto the Meng's home city!
(Shifu): "Lu Kai destroyed the Meng's home city as a result..... Leaving no survivers, but the Mengs."
The Mengs are seen being dragged in chains.
(Shifu): "The Mengs, were condemned to slavery, and force to embrace the demands of the imperial family's ways, even after Lu Kai the Second's reign was long ended. It drove the continuing generations to be deluded, broken.... And in some of them..... To vengence hungered madness."
Meng Tao rosed to be a dark exsample.
Flashback ends.
Kun Lao sighed sadly.....
Kun Lao: "...... Tong, I had hoped that your brother was a one time thing because he couldn't bare how much of an, awkword, person Lu Kang was! I never predicted that it was more then an intelligent person couldn't bare taking orders from a doofus! I know your family suffered long unfairness even after Lu Kai the second was gone. But why? We treated your family much better ever since."
Meng Tong: ".... Then, why? WHY KEEP US AS SLAVES IF YOUR FAMILY SO HATED THE LU KAI STRAIN?!"
Kun Lao: "..... We kept the Meng family as our political servents to give you a home after what Lu Kai did. Letting your family go with nothing to return to, would've been crueler then anyting any dark Lu Kai would've imagined."
Meng Tong: "THAT'S YOUR FLIMSY EXCUSE?! BECAUSE WE WERE HOMELESS?! YOU THING GIVING US A PLACE TO STAY, CHANGES THE FACT, THAT YOU IMPERIAL SCUM, DESTROYED OUR BEAUTIFUL CITY AND SLAUGHTERED IT'S POOR PEOPLE, OVER JUST WANTING TO MAKE CHINA A BETTER PLACE?!"
Kun Lao: "Please know that I do NOT aim to justify and excuse Lu Kai the Terriable's actions! Our imperial family were ashamed enough to disinclude the Lu Kai strain from ever serving in power again?!"
Meng Tong: "AND THE SUBIQUINT MIXED SPEICES FAMILY WAS BEING ANY BETTER?! You yourself were FAR from an improvement, Lao! And I mean MORE then just your restrict kung fu to perments nonsense and mistakenly trusting a vengeful duck wizard?! You were doing fine in a tolerable enough sense up until your son died at the hands of SOME ROUGE?! You let your loss and pain of outliving your previous successor control you to do terrorable things?! Your broken up families, you ruined innosent lives, you take unreliable people seriously, you made claiming your name in vain a death sentence-worthy crime, you never made an attempt to bring peace between us and the mongolians, AND SHOULD I DARE BRING UP WHAT YOU DID TO THOSE POOR RIVER DOLPHINS BECAUSE ONE OF THEM ONLY TRIED TO WARN YOU OF A RISK OF CHINA BEING DESTROYED, BY POISONED WATER?!"
Kun Lao: "....... Why do you think I am no longer emperor? I have acknowledged that I have failed china in many ways then one. I have now passed to someone proven good enough to make the amends you so want."
Meng Tong: "YOU THINK SOMEONE FROM THE LU KAI STRAIN CAN REALLY REDEEM THE IMPERIAL NAME?!"
Kun Lao: "Please know that he was from a defecter Lu Kai family. That means he's safe to trust."
Meng Tong: "AND HOW WILL A CLUMSY IDIOT BE ANY BETTER THEN YOU OTHER THEN BEING SOFT?! THANKS TO YOUR PRIMITVE STANDERDS, NO CURRENT OR FUTURE GENERATION OF ADVISERS AND COUNCILERS WILL TOLERATE BEING MADE TO OBEY AN IDIOT?! HE'S AN ASSASSINATION TARGET WAITING TO HAPPEN?! TOO MANY BUREOCRATS ARE TOO USED TO UNCOMPROMISING EMPERORS THAT THE IDEA OF A SOFT-HEARTED IDIOT LIKE HIM IS A THREAT TO THEIR STATUS QUO?! And on top of that..... Do you have, any idea, how Demockacry could've saved, so many lives? Trails would be fair! Wars would be prevented?! The criminals and maniacs that infest this land would be better contained! Villages, Towns, Cities, People, Efnic Groups, even SUPERNATERAL POWERS, would not be controled or destroyed in a democacry world! Demockacry could've prevented the Chi drought by never allowing magic to be discriminated?! We could've brought peace, between chi and magic! We could've avoided any ill-wills with Mongolia! The Land/Sea war would never happen! Why...... Even the Pandas could've been protected from Shen's rampage! Life in this miserable, barbarian planet could've been MUCH more better, more safer, more free, if Demockacy was given a chance?! But thanks to Lu Kai, lives are being ruined and ended left and right! You can't even enjoy a stroll down a park without bandits surprising you in the blink of an eye and steal your valuables and leave you dead with a stab you that cut a vital vain! THIS, WAY OF LIFE, IS TERRORABLE?! AND THE MENGS ARE FINALLY GONNA FIX IT, ONCE AND FOR ALL?!"
Gazelle: "......... Tong...... I get, where you are coming from, and, believe me..... I myself am not a devoted fan on how this world works."
Meng Tong: "....... You see? The Uniter agrees with me. Espeically since the imperial family's the reason why she can't enjoy being with her own because of their nonsenseical demands! Well, when the Mengs succeed in fixing this mess of a world one day, you'll be able to enjoy that all you want and-"
Gazelle: "Uno momento, I wasn't finished. And I can get behind, why you'll never forgive the imperial family for their sins and illy misguided ways with you and your family. Your entitled to believe what you want, and I can't take that away from you. But.... All the same though..... I must ask..... Why? Why, take Ko Long's life, when he wasn't even close to be a Lu Kai?"
Meng Tong: "(Clinched his teeth and gets a mean glare)..... Because Ko Long wasn't ANY BETTER?! He may treat the people well, BUT IT'S ALL A SHOW TO HIDE THE FACT THAT HE IS THE WORSE TO THOSE THE WORK WITH HIM CLOSELY?! He's rude, he's demanding, AND, he has, NO RESPECT FOR WOMEN?! He harasses the chamber girls and handsmaids non-stop?! He even targets my poor sister, who is only his speaker to the town?! And it's not any better for the men! He pounds and beats up the guards like practice dummies, he treats his councilers like children and degrades and berates them?! And what did he do to my brother Tao?! He jabbed his horns right into the celing and beaten him like a punching bag?! BECAUSE HE NEEDED THE EXSIRSIZE?! Tao, was covered in bruzes and almost could've lost his eye?! It took us WEEKS to get him off the celing?! Tao and my sister couldn't took his nonsense and transfered away from Ko?! I HATED THAT BRUTISH OX?! AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE COUP DE GRA OF HIS HEINIOUS MISTREATMENT?! I had a younger sister who was a servent girl, who ended up embarising him in a social gathering and ruined his imperial robe!? THAT, MONSTER, HAD HER TORTURED IN THE DONGUINS FOR DISGRACING HIM?! She was broken and trumatised beyond belief?! HE, TORMENTED, A LITTLE GIRL, OVER A ROBE GETTING PASTRY FROTING ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES AND LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT IN FRONT OF THE NOBLES?! SO DON'T YOU DARE, SAY THAT I HAVE NO RIGHT TO GIVE HIM WHAT WAS COMING?!"
Everyone was surprised.....
Duke: ".... So, this was more then just introdusing demockacry? You wanted the jerk dead for being a worthless sack of crap?"
Meng Tong: "Exactly?! AND I REGRET NOTHING?! THAT BRUTE HAD WHAT HE DESERVED?! And all it took, WAS THE FACT THAT HE EAT FLOWERS TO TAKE HIM DOWN?! AND SOON ENOUGH, HE'LL BE APART OF A LONG LINE OF DETHROWNED IMPERIAL PIGS THAT'LL MEET THEIR MAKER?!"
Kun Lao: "..... Believe me, I had no true love anymore to Ko after hearing this, but murdering an imperial family member, can't be ignored. And on top of it, you ended up doing it on a bad time when we needed infomation about a rouge Lu Kai member being respondsable of empowering a magic conspiracy involving an alien Mothman!"
Silence....
Kun Lao: "...... Yes, I know it's ludicrus, just, believe me, it accured. Point is, we are looking at a modern Lu Kai the Terrorable being on the lose, and now, with Ko Long gone, no other imperial family member would be so quick to explain."
Meng Tong: "Oh like Ko would've been any different? And believe me, I'll destroy ALL OF THE LU KAI, soon enough, even if this so-called, rouge. Be grateful I'll spare your idiot grandson on counts that he'll already be dead because of the savaged bureocrats tainted by the imperial ways, not tolerating his weak by imperial standerds?! Now, BACK to the main subject at hand?! Are you gona leave, or do I have to take more then the life already taken?! Your choice, heroes..... Your lifes, or your funerals?"
Gazelle:... (Sighs) Very well! We'll leave, on ONE condition! You must tell EVERYONE here that you lied and YOU caused the murder.
Meng Tong: You cannot be serious!
Gazelle: Does it LOOK like I'm not serious? For an Emperor OR President, you should know that with great power comes great responsibility, and that INCLUDES honesty. Lying to your own people is conspiracy, and I'm pretty sure it's HIGHLY punishable here, ESPECIALLY considering the Emperor is standing right in front of you. So, you have no choice in the matter. So, we'll leave, but either you tell the people that you lied, or we'll do it for you. And TRUST me, if WE have to do it, you're NOT going to like it. We'll make sure your ENTIRE family is viewed horribly by the words you just said. They may hold weight, but even if they DO make people sympathize, NONE of it will excuse due justice for the fact that you committed one of the worst crimes in history. If WE tell them, and we WILL tell them OUR way, you will no longer be given a chance to bring democracy here. Your ENTIRE family will be disgraced, shunned, and your 'democracy claims' will no longer hold weight as you will not be trusted to bring it to them. We'll make sure nobody in the government EVER hires you or your family again.
Kun Lao:... My word, Uniter! That's Lu Kai II worthy talk!
Gazelle: Well, quite frankly, he's acting like him-
Kun Lao: DON'T YOU EVER F****** COMPARE ME TO THAT MONSTER, YOU SKINNY SPANISH HORNHEAD WHORE!! HE'S RIGHT, YOU'RE NOT QUITE AN IMPROVEMENT WITH THAT THREAT OF YOURS!! Speaking like THAT is NOT going to convince me of ANYTHING! It's going to give me BETTER reason to execute you!
Gazelle: Well, perhaps that's just the thing. You kill us, INCLUDING Lu Kang and the other governors in the room, you risk making my threats come true. If you just admit your actions, and admit them with the right words, this whole mess can be avoided. They WILL understand that Ko Long was a monster that the Shaanxi Province was better off without. You can be a hero to them. But if you keep it a secret from them and give them no reason to trust you when it ends up biting you in the butt, then there's no saving you OR your entire family from being dishonored at a China-wide scale. And killing us right now won't have a different effect either. You resist either way, we win, even though one option has us dying. We are giving you this one chance to prove to us, your family, AND the rest of China, that you are a big deal and can do great things. If you don't take advantage of it, then there's no going back. You do that, and we can let you go under a few legal conditions. But if you don't, then remember what I just said.
Kun Lao:... But, what if the people want me gone reguardless even AFTER I explain how rotten Ko was? For his worth, he did loved his subjects enough to do legitamently good things for them. The flaws of him being abusive to his servents and councilers could've been excused as either him losing his way or having a very violent midlife crisis!?
Gazelle: "And perhaps maybe THAT is why he was so awful with you? Maybe he knew that his life was ending and lost himself? I still say it is not an excuse, and I won't blame the people from not wanting to follow you eitherway, but consider this.... Going about it in the honest way at least prevents your family from going down your brother's path and making your dreams of introdusing demockacry more difficult then already. If the people wanted you out, even after understanding why you did it, then it's only because they acknowledge that murder isn't a right call of action, even on someone who didn't show proper kindness. At least this way you'll earn sympathisers that'll balence out die-hard loyalists, even minoriesed them, that would likely succeed the throwne and place your family under protection of the Imperial Family. We may understand your brother's blight, but he clearly allowed his pain to dominate him, and that's why he's part of the scourge imperials. At least show me that apart from family blood, the rest of the Mengs are not like him....
Meng Tong:..... Okay... I admit, what you said is an improvement....
Shifu:... We're waiting.
Meng Tong:... (Sighs)... Fine! You win! Perhaps, it wouldn't be proper to make my brother's mistakes repeat themselve. If being honest means that, my family will be spared from a harsh fate, even at the price of introdusing demockacry being pushed bakc futher, because know this, sympathisers or loyalist, none would feel comfertable with someone who commited a usurp of even someone who was only a closet beast. Ko still did benvolent enough things to earn his positive reputation amongst the people, and based on what you said about a mid-life crisis, it is likely gonna excuse his ill-treatment torwords the servents. My parents broken souls are likely to become very restless from this, but..... I rather take the Mengs back to a more decent path then one of revenge. I should know better than this. Very well, Uniter Princess. It seems your wisdom has made itself visible.
Woo: I couldn't have said it better.
Meng Tong: But, if it helps with your little mission, there IS a genealogical scroll somewhere in the library. You can check there while I go confess my sins.
Gazelle: Good. Be better than your brother. (They head out as he did the same)
Palace Library
Skipper: I admit, I thought we were gonna bust his ass.
Gazelle: It's clear that he was one of the rare individuals whose murder ACTUALLY made sense. Not ALL murders are of completely-malicious intent. It can ONLY be excusable, though only to a certain amount, if the victim was just as bad, or more, as the murder itself.
Deadpool: Yeah! Why the junk do you think I limit my kills when you hero teacher's pets are around?
Shifu: Let's just hope he makes true with his word while I search the library.
Soothsayer: He is. It's clear that Gazelle opened his conscious wider than it was in the past few years. It's one of the reasons why the Lightflies chose her as one of the next Uniters, let alone one of the few who survived longer than the others.
Mayfly: Hell, she's actually a few years away from being the longest of the Uniter Prinesses to survive. She may just be the right Uniter Princess if she manages to make a name for herself.
Duke: Well, she's CLEARLY got the heart. Ever since she made the adolescent mistake of driving a friend to evil, she became a visionary singer who wishes to establish clear relations with predators and prey on her world. She cares about ALL species, even ones she doesn't recognize NOR are unsentient or semi-sentient. She'll only violate said things when the individual is far too long gone for help or is lost entirely, such as the case with that crazy cat on Trecene. Furs are rare in Zootopia, as they are only created in survival situations, and thus they can only be found in museums or ancient sites. Gazelle is seen as a GREAT symbol of peace and love for everyone no matter what size, shape, or form, and she sticks to that philosophy with ALL her heart. I can clearly see why you pretty butterflies chose her.
Mayfly: Trust me, there have been others like her in the past, but even THEY couldn't last as long as Gazelle did.
Gazelle: It's good to know that a person we thought was going to be yet another enemy turned around in a new light. And it's a relief. I just hopethat he'll be okay.
Icky: "Whatever happens, the guy's gonna make it out fine. And hey, he'll earn enough sympathiers to even rebuildt that destroyed city should he had to be impeached on moral-based grounds. It'll give the Mengs a chance to revaluate their life choices. Plus, should we ever be able to perimently capture Meng Tao, at least we know the perfect guy to put him on the straight and narrow."
Shifu: Alright, I think I found it! (He leaps down with the scroll) The ENTIRE Ku Lai family tree. This should give us all the available information we need on our investigation. Now, the ones who are deceased are crossed out, so we'll clearly have the resources when we see them.
Po: Well, good! Hopefully, after that crazy Master Dolphin madness back there, we'll be lucky enough to find Hai Hoi.
Shifu: That may be a possibility, because Xizang's Emperor is one of the few who is not only alive, but after one of Oogway's missions there, MIGHT have clues as to where she is.
Donkey: NOW we're gettin' somewhere!
Deadpool: THEN LET'S VAN ON OFF! (They took off in the van as this plays)
Salt-N-Pepa - Shoop (Deadpool Edit) Deadpool OST
Chapter 2: Pang Bing's Dark Magic Catches Up To Her/Making a Decision[]
Van.
Pang Bing was seen alone and meditating.
Pang Bing's mind.
Pang Bing found herself in a wasteland damaged by what appears to be magic blasts.
Pang Bing: "...... I truely am more damaged then I thought."
???: "That's because your mind it's at war with it's self!"
A shadowy spirit taking the form of Pang Bing appeared.
Pang Bing: "...... What are you?"
Shadowy Spirit: "I am you! The you that you onced embraced! But for the sake of less confusion, you can refer me as.... Black Bing."
Pang Bing: ".... Oh, it's because we're cats, right? Ya know, black cats, so, you went there?"
Black Bing: "...... Look at yourself, Pang. You have only been around them for a few minutes, and already you started to defelupt their nonsensical idiotic hubris! You used to be a dark, but proud individual! We were going to avenge our sisters! Our orb mother?! Magic in general! And you and I both had clearly saw that Mothlock was a being of his word! And you condemned him to the only thing that offers a faster way to bring our sisters back!"
Pang Bing: "Even reguardless of that, the price of servitude would've hurt others. The Land of Prosperity was clearly suffering. It couldn't be ignored. And I promise you, when the Modern Lu Kai gone, we can be able to make this world a better place for magic."
Black Bing: "And what makes you so sure magic discrimination would die with some modern desendent of it's causer? It didn't really died with Lu Kai the Terrorable's death, it's not gonna go away because you removed some idiot who has yet to even do a simular task! You seriously began to believe that things would automaticly be better just because you got rid of the bad guy? People are NOT like a fairy tale?! People will still hate and belittle you because of their childish mistrust to magic?! So please, do me a faver, and embrace me again so we can do things PROPERLY and save Mothlock while we still can?!"
Pang Bing: "It's not that simple. The Containment Device is likely already long gone and taken to the Lightfly planet, a part of a system that never stays in one place for long. Why, the Lightflies' home system is probuly already somewhere else by now. Sure, you and I reckindise the system's migatory patterns, but it changes nothing. The device will be kept somewhere that even a very determined Mothron can't get to. Let alone even us combined once more."
Black Bing: "Ya know, I was once your greatest friend. I gave you powers even the forces of imagination cannot comprehened! You grow stronger each time thanks to me?! If you curbed me with Equinox magic, AND take away Mothlock's surviving magic, I can't be able to make you stronger anymore?! You'll be stagnanted to a certain level?!"
Pang Bing: "But that's the thing with me. I can always find other ways to grow strong, even without embracing you. And I'm doing this for both my sake and yours. If you ended up making me do something even the Uniter can't protect us from, I would likely face exicution, killing me..... And you as well. Like a parasite that needs it's host to be alive, you can't be able to live on without me. You exist, because I exist."
Black Bing: "AND HOW IS COMDEMNING ME TO AN EXQUINOX PRISON ANY BETTER?!"
Pang Bing: "Look at it this way. I am strong enough that even when I am prevented from growing stronger, I am still a crediable force to be reckind with. And I will still find ways to make myself stronger in each waking moment, even when you are well contained. Magic will still get it's justice against the Lu Kai. Just not through your methods."
Black Bing: "..... You realise alchourse, that even then, I can't garrentie that our sisters and the Orb Mother if she was still around, would not easily appresiate what you had prior to this goody-goody drival nonsense your doing. Why, if the mother orb did survive what happened, you'd think she would've undone your miserable existence by now. And do you honestly think that our sisters would be so quick to welcome you with open arms, should you be able to free them without Mothlock's return?"
Pang Bing: "..... I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way. But that won't stop me from re-earning their love by making amends for those mistakes. And I know better then to embrace your poison words again. I was lucky, and in a way, you as well, that I was defeated by someone with kindness and mercy. A hero with an absolute, black and white belief, could've long destroyed us."
Black Bing: "...... Have it your way then. If you won't willingly embrace me, THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO SMACK THE SENSE BACK INTO YOU?!"
Black Bing conjured up great powers!
Pang Bing: "I have no pathience for another one of your tandrums!"
Black Bing: "WELL TOO BAD?! YOUR MIND IS AT ANOTHER BATTLE?! YOU MAY AS WELL FIGHT?!"
Black Bing fired a dark magic ray!
Pang Bing: (She fired a light magic ray and the two got into a beam lock that Black Bing was stating to win until Pang jettisons a powerful light magic field that knocked Black Bing back)... Before we continue, am I to assume that YOU'RE the reason why I can't trust the Lodgers? I've clearly gained my pure heart back, so it stands to reason that all the signs of my evil self are because of you.
Black Bing: Oh, no, that was another guy. His name was 'Shit Sherlock', first name 'No'!
Pang Bing: And is it all because you think only YOU can fix all the bad things going on in my life?
Black Bing: Yes! Look at what we did! We almost succeeded had it not been for dumb luck! China would've been all ours! How could you just BETRAY your great power like that?
Pang Bing: I don't know what you were expecting, honestly! I had MUCH of my memories lost. You're just a manifestation of the bitter side created by Mothlock to torment me. Once I give you a GREATER role as an Equinox half, you will understand.
Black Bing: I prefer not! (She ups her powers through a powerful and deadly shockwave that Pang protected herself from)... You think Equinox powers are supposed to cure you?
Pang Bing: YES! IT IS A BLEND BETWEEN THE CRUELTY BROUGHT BY DARK MAGIC, AND THE JOY BROUGHT ON BY LIGHT MAGIC! THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER CREATES A PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN BOTH MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH! You will have little to no weakness, nothing to hold you back, and you will have heightened wisdom. You NEED it as much as I do.
Black Bing: It's something that taints people into being emotionless twats! Aggression and black magic is the ultimately way to express what prejudice can do. It gets people to understand that prejudice is wrong.
Pang Bing: BUT IT'S NO DIFFERENT IF YOU USE IT TO HURT OTHERS!! Darkness is nothing but absolute darkness and suffering, and Lightness is absolute joy and happiness. Putting them both together in a balanced blend has the potential to fight the worst of both sides. It cures in enlightened ways. You just can't see that because you're me if I had ALL of my Heart stolen from me. And I will NOT rest until I balance myself out.
Black Bing:... You know? You're right! THEN ALLOW ME TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR PLACE! (She causes a black blast of magical energy)
Reality
Pang Bing: (As she meditated, she experienced horrific events as she staggered back in fear and tearful eyes as Gazelle confronted her)
Gazelle: PANG! Are you okay?
Pang Bing: (She recovers, panting in recovery)... Yes! I'm fine! It's clear that my dark side is catching up to me.
Gazelle: I can tell. The eyes you displayed. They are the eyes of fear and suffering. And that's what we're here for. I promise you, by the time we find Hai Hoi, you won't have to worry about your evil side anymore.
Pang Bing:... (Sighs) I hope so. Everything that happened to me, the loss of my mother and sisters, the oppression of China, the loss of a friend, and the corruption brought by an overgrown moth, it's all too much to be reminded of without help.
Gazelle: Well, Hai Hoi may not know magic, but she is an expert of inner peace, which is just as effective. You learn that, and you'll successfully be able to learn Equinox Magic on your own.
Pang Bing: "I hope so. Because without direct directions, we're made to throw darts on the wall and hope one sticks."
Gazelle: "Well, don't worry. Shifu said that Xizang's Emperor may offer some ability to pinpoint at least where Hai Hoi is. Let's just hope it's not in the midsts of another random problem."
Xizang Provence.
A fighting torniment is being held as a bull was smacking a croc around!
The Audience cheered!
This was over-watched by a bored Red Panda Elder as a Peacock adviser was by his side.
Peacock: "Nothing like a pre-winter feast battle to enlighten the mood, your majusty."
Red Panda Emperor: "It's nothing but the same thing, adviser Fu Wi. I had to be emperor of the most boring provence in china. Nothing exciting happens here besides people climbing the mountains of the Himalayas, which instantly resulted in your last son's death."
Fu Wi: "Now, Emperor Mah Jong, I know this isn't exactly a dodge city.... But we get our fair share of excitment."
Suddenly, a Harpoon-like spear came from nowhere and crashed into Mah Jong's throwne, surprising everyone!"
Fu Wi: "NOT WHAT I MEANT?!"
The Fighters stopped, as they saw a gang of animals with weapons in replacement of their hands, a wolf, a leopard, an ape, a monkey, who are sliding down the chain, as well as the shorce of the harpoon spear, a fox reminesent of Junjie, as he joined along and landed center of the area!
Emperor Mah Jong: "Ohhhh..... This could actselly be interesting."
Fu Wi: "YOU MAJUSTY, ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT'S THE HUIHUAI?! BANDITS OF DESTRUCTION?!"
Emperor Mah Jong: "Hence WHY it is interesting."
Fox leader: "..... Glorious Emperor Mah Jong....... We the Huihuai have finally came to demand due tribute for the many imperial crimes commited against the people. Surrender the land's fortune, AND your throwne, to me and my crew, and we won't destroy your city."
Emperor Mah Jong: "Actselly, I much rather you amuse me, Huihuai group. You look like an interesting bunch. How's about this? I'll give you exactly what you wanted, if you can defeat my entire army."
Fu Wi: "YOUR HIGHNESS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR JOKING?! (Mah Jong snapped his fingers.)"
Fu Wi facepalmed that Mah Jong ignored him.
Soldiers began to flood the arena and surround the group.
Fox Leader: "..... You are playing a fool's arrend, imperial pig."
Emperor Mah Jong: "I just love how serious this guy is. Soldiers attack."
The Soldiers charged!
The Leopard with a sword hand smacked soldiers around!
The Ape with the giant mace hand smacked waves of soldiers!
The Wolf with a pike hand plowed soldiers down!
The Monkey with the creative prostectic hand that turns into a crossbow pins soldiers down!
And finally, the Harpoon Handed Fox used said Harpoon he recoiled back from the emperor's throwne to fight the soldiers!
Fu Wi: "Your majusty, your playing a reckless game?! The Huihuai are not to be tampered with."
Mah Jong: "Oh relax, you silly bird. These are the finest soldiers I have. They're not gonna lose to a bunch of bandits. They're-" (They managed to beat them)... Actselly alot more pathic then I expected. But hey, at least we know these guys are badasses.
Fu Wi:... You do realise that OUR KINGDOM IS DOOMED, RIGHT?!
Mah Jong:... Well, when you put it like that..... (Sighs) What I wouldn't do for some heroes right now. (The Lodgers and company came in right away)
Fu Wi:... WHOA!!! A SPACESHIP!!!
Mah Jong: OH, NOW WE'RE TALKING!!! (The heroes came out)
Fu Wi:... SHEN?!?
Mah Jong: MASTER SHIFU?!?
Lord Shen: Alright, what the hell is going on here? And what's with the arena? I never knew the emperor of the provence to be like THIS?!
Shifu: Well, the emperor you were EXPECTING is dead. Mah Jeong was dead after being renowned as a game-freak and a dedicated geek who built this place for entertainment. His family is... QUITE bored with the setting the city here, EVEN if it's near the Himalayas. It's currently run by his eldest son, Mah Jong.
Icky: Well, makes sense considering their names are a play on the Chinese tile-based game.
Shifu: They INVENTED Mahjong.
Icky: Oh... Well, shut my mouth.
Shifu: Anyway, their family HAS had a fair share of gaming, gambling, and geek history like me, and have been at more Fests than nought. Hell, calling them a geek is punishable by death, so as you'd expect, it follows ANOTHER trend of Emperor cruelty.
Deadpool: Well, s***! Anyway, who are these scrawny pukes with the weapons for hands?
Thr Fox Leader growled in being offended by Deadpool's lack of respect.
Po:... The Huihuai! The renowned Bandits of Destruction in the Xizang Province. They replaced the hands they lost as a penalty for their stealing antics, and used them to SUCCESSFULLY SLAUGHTER THE ONES WHO TOOK THEIR HANDS... AND TOOK THE HANDS THEY USED TO CUT OFF THEIR HANDS AND HUNG THEM AS TROPHIES!!!
SpongeBob:... Ouch!
Po: Yeah, BEYOND ouch!
Harpoon-Hand Fox: Excuse me, misfits, but we were in the middle of something here! So how about you waddle of, chicken-boys!
Mushu: CHICKEN BOYS?!? SAY THAT TO OUR FACES, YOU LIMP NOODLES!!!- (The fox got close to him)
Harpoon-Hand Fox:... CHICKEN... BOY!!!
Mushu:... (He apparently peed)... You made me spill my lemonade!
Icky: "OH THERE WE GO, THE SAME OLD JOKE AGAIN?! WHY DO WE CARRY LEMONAIDE CONVINENTLY WHEN A BAD GUY OR SCARY FORCE SCARES US FOR LOW-BROW IMPLIED PISS HUMOR?! EVEN FAMILY GUY WOULDN'T STOOP SO LOW?! AND THEY MADE A HERPIES EPISODE AND SCREWED UP A DOMESTIC ABUSE EPISODE?!.... Ahh what am I kidding, this is RIGHT up their ally."
Pang Bing: So clearly, if this Emperor's in the need for excitement, let's give it to him!
Mah Jong: YES, YES, YES!!! DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!
Fu Wi: (facepalmed again, groaning) Oh, goddamn it!
Po: Come on, boys! My knuckles are hungry!
Fox Leader: "Must we waste our time with this?! I was hoping to become emperor of this part of the land so I can punish the imperial family who encouraged cruel treatments that costed us our hands!"
Deadpool: "Hey, we may as well man, your pretty much the 3rd intermediate problem until the main event. Might as well go for it. By the way, Po, what are these guys called?"
Po: Jian Chong (The Leopard), Chui Fung (The Ape), Paike Pong (The Wolf), Qiang Hou Wang (The Monkey), and their rogue evil grudge-holding leader, Yu Cha Hong! (The fox, who growled angrily). They've developed will with their weapons, they can literally slice a Panda's belly off, or slice the Great Wall like it was thin air!
Harpoon-Handed Fox (Yu Cha Hong): That's right, Dragon Warrior! So I advise that you, AND Fu Wi's brother-in-law of a disgrace, Wu Shen, take a hike!
Po:... Your last name is 'Wu'?
Mantis: AND there's another relative of your family HERE?!?
Lord Shen: Well, let me explain. Fu Wi was married to one of my sisters, and his son died on Mount Everest last month... AFTER my great-nephew did, who was the one I mentioned died on the same mountain during the Ichthyos mission.
Icky:... Well, snap! Why is it that whenever we encounter a peacock here, it HAPPENS to be related to Shen?
Lord Shen: You're REALLY asking that when peacocks invented fireworks on this world, AND WAS AMONG THE HIGHEST AUTHORITIES IN CHINA?!? I have PLENTY of relatives here, SOME of whom I do not wish to talk about. Let's just- (Chui Fung the Ape fired his mace arm as Shen dodged!) DAH?!
Shrek: Well that's not very nice to interupt us while we were having a quick conversation- (Chui bashes him with his normal hand) HoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- (He fell to the ground).....
Icky: "Well! Rudest, bad guys, EVER!"
Iago: "As if Bad Guys were ever nice!"
Icky and Iago laughed and fist pumped!
Yu Cha: Enough talk, morons, and FIGHT US ALREADY?!
Po: GLADLY!!
Yu Cha: "HUIHUAI?! ATTACK?!"
Private: "But didn't you guys already did when your big friend-"
Yu Cha: "MORE THEN ALREADY?!"
Skipper: "Walked right into that, Private!" (They all fought)
Mah Jong: Well, I guess your brother-in-law and Master Shifu just solved our problem of danger, Fu Wi.
Fu Wi: Yeah, but, with all due respect, does it REALLY excuse your boredom?
Mah Jong: Maybe not, but at least I FINALLY get something exciting. (They continued fighting the Huihuai as they got their own thorough balance of beatings on the Lodgers, but then they finally went down)
Shifu:... Alright, Huihuai, it's off to Chorh-Gom Prison for you.
Yu Cha:... IN YOUR BIG FAT DREAM- (Shifu used the Wuxi Finger Hold on him)... The junk?
Po:... That's the Wuxi Finger Hold.
Mah Jong: OHHHHH, NOW IT JUST GOT INTERESTING!!! That is a move that makes our species one of the BEST fighters in China!
Fu Wi:... Wuxi was a Red panda?
Mah Jong: You CLEARLY need to read some scrolls.
Yu Cha:... And what exactly does it do?
Po:... When he moves his pinkie, you go to the Spirit Realm with a big ploop!
Yu Cha:... Meep!
Icky: Damn right 'Meep'!
Shifu: Back down all of you, or we won't hesitate to have your leader sent to the Spirit Realm. (They all surrendered)
Mushu:... Yeah, we kicked your asses HARD, bitches!
Mah Jong: "Oh, poo. That was too exciting to be so over so quickly."
Fu Wi facepalmed.
Mah Jong: "Okay, okay! But I'll phrase the heroes on their OP rescue."
Icky: "Uh.... Your welcome, I guess?"
Fu Wi: "Pardon the emperor, he focuses too hard on excitment, even at our kingdom's detrement."
Deadpool: "We noticed."
Later, in Mah Jong's throwneroom.
Mah Jong: "So, misfits and members of the Jade Palace, I kinda have an itching feeling that your here for something. My excitment seeker senses tell me that desteny brought you all here to do more then just bring major OP pwnaged to the Huihuai."
Shifu: "Your senses have not lied to you. We are here for such things. To make a long story short, we are seeking out a sage to help a new member out of her darkness, all the while seeking out a possable rouge Lu Kai generation trying to revive the ways of Lu Kai the Terrorable."
Mah Jong: "Oh..... Look, I get what your saying, but, two things make helping you difficult. And that's avaluable knowledge and restrictions. I know of Hai Hoi, but not so much her temple, and, we're kinda restricted on talking about the Lu Kais."
Fu Wi: "Sadly yes. Even when you did us a service, please understand that we have to keep any location of any Lu Kai a secret."
Kun Lao: "And I respect this, but times might become serious enough that neither of us can afford to maintain the tradition. Master Dolphin has a better knowledge, but is too devoted to his vow to honor Hai Hoi's wishes. And the only other emperor possably more laxed on reveiling anything.... Has fallen victim to his own mid-life-crisis leading to an abused adviser to take revenge."
Mah Jong: "Oh snap! It's Ko, isn't it? I tried telling that old school bovine to chill out about his mid-life crisis!"
Fu Wi: "Was it done by one of the Mengs? I know we should've retired that tortured family after the Meng Tao betrayal! That was obviously a sign of things to come!"
Icky: "Well luckly, Tao was the only really nasty one. We talked his bro out of being worse."
Kun Lao: "But don't worry about him staying in power. The people would be morally conjustus enough to accept that any broken soul, well intentions or not, may not nessersarly be the best leader. But he will be left with enough sympathiers to rebuild a new Meng City."
Mah Jong: ".... Well, again, the other problem is lack of useful info. I myself don't exactly bother keeping up with the Lu Kais. Not just because it was boring, but, I don't like being reminded of depressive junk."
Fu Wi: "Well, since I'm the only one who takes this position seriously, I'm the one who keeps track of everything, including any resident Lu Kais. Normally, I'd avoid exposing personal imperial family info, but, desperate times require some rule bending. Just keep in mind that this city rarely sees Lu Kai activity, so, don't expect anything too useful. In fact, the only clue to any Lu Kai, are old rumors that one or two of them are seeking out Hai Hoi's temple."
Deadpool: "...... Your right. THAT DOES JACKSHIT IN HELPING US?!"
Fu Wi: "As I had said, this city rarely sees Lu Kai activity. Buuuuut....... There is an old local drunk who claims he was a former bandit boss in service to the rumored Lu Kai, and claims that because of defelupting an actual conjustus of what this Lu Kai was doing, he lost his leg..... To a Yeti."
Lougers and other heroes: "YETI?!"
Fu Wi: "Well I DID say he was a local drunk, so, credability is OBVIOUSLY not the strongest thing."
Lord Shen: "I wouldn't be so sure, Fu. I once doubted a drunk about a legendary keyblade weilding pirate, and THAT ended up being real?!"
Fu Wi: "..... Isn't that abit, out there, for a pirate to contain a keyblade? I mean, aren't those suppose to be pure good?"
Icky: "Yes, we know, even to us we don't get it, but trust me, it happened. All you need to know is that, you shouldn't be too quick to doubt local drunks unless you know they're nothing but drunks. So where's the guy?"
Fu Wi: "He left this city to established a cabin 3 miles off the city since people kept doubting him. Be warned when seeking him out. If his claims as a former bandit leader are true, he's, likely not gonna have a grand trust in heroes..... Or outsiders for that matter considering his years of being ignored."
Gazelle: "What exactly is his name?"
Fu Wi: "Nothing to personifify him. But he only refered himself as, the Snow-Hog."
Po: "THE SNOW-HOG?! That guy's the most powerful bandit leader's of his time?! He's pretty much Shifu's Age by now! (Shifu sternfully stares)..... Not that, it's a bad thing."
Fu Wi: "Well, you be wised to not denounce him as a would-be challnage because of his age and limited movement because of his lost leg. He was once known to be desended from Chi Wepaon Builders."
Kun Lao: "Chi Weapon Builders?"
Fu Wi: "Well, yes. They were once rampent in the days where everyone can used chi before the Chi Drought age happened. Very few builders are left because so few of them maintained their chi even after the curse happened. Snow-Hog was claimed to be one of them, but turned dark because.... His family were among the biggest suppliers of weapons that were used to hurt and hunt magic users. He hated himself and his shamed legacy to the point of becoming a criminal to punish himself as such."
Shifu: "But obviously, our modern Lu Kai snapped him out of his misery, only to be made more miserable. We will have to bring Snow-Hog back to the city. Not just because his cabin likely wouldn't fit all of us due to inconsistent logic on how we do and don't sometimes, but because.... I worry he may be in danger. We'll back, Mah Jong and Fu Wi, and we'll be quick about it."
Kun Lao was complicating something.....
Hu: "Your coming, Kun...."
Kun Lao: ".... Yes.... I'm coming."
The Van.
Kun Lao was sitting with Hu and Woo.....
Kun Lao: "...... Hu, Woo, I, have reason to believe that, maybe, Snow-Hog can be able to restore my family's chi-sword."
Hu: ".... Well, your not off, but, you heard the peacock adviser, he is ashamed of his craft being used to harm and discriminate! And the family sword was once USED for such terrorable things! He's, likely not gonna want to help repair a reminder of his family's shame."
Kun Lao: "I know, but, I have my reason..... That sword, was meant to be Lu Kang's Winter Feast gift to him, as it has been done for generations of our family. It was not meant to see battle in my hands one last time, NOR was it meant to be destroyed by the very dark past it was made to shape! I need to have that sword back to it's former glory, to give to Lu Kang! It would mean all of china to me."
Woo: "No disrespect sir, but your out of luck! That snow-pig lieklye HATES the imperial family for what happened! He would sooner use a chi wepaon against you then rebuildt the one you lost!"
Kun Lao: "None of you know that! Maybe the misfits can mend his broken mind!"
Hu: "But we do know that, well, you can't deny Lu Kai the second did well in earning the "The Terrorable" surname. It, doesn't help he's likely to have known about your.... Sour relations with the River Dolphins. Espeically since you used the family sword to, destroy the temple. Your likely to be just as bad in his eyes."
Kun Lao: "I won't ask him to fix the sword for me..... But for Lu Kang, who I have reason to believe he will be more respondsable with the sword."
Woo: "The same Lu Kang who can't fight out of Pickle Jars? I think making or rebuilding a sword for an idiot is worse then doing it for another sin-riddled ruler in Snow-Hog's eyes."
Kun Lao: "Then you two must help me make Lu Kang look worthy for such a task. Please.... I beg you, as an old emperor looking to make one last amend."
Hu: "..... Well, if you insist."
Woo: "But don't expect miricles."
Snow-Pig's Residence
Icky: (They landed not too close to a garbage-riddled snowy junkyard with bugs who scurried in panic upon the van's arrival)... I thought he lived in a cabin, not a scrap heap. I mean, I see the cabin, but you would think the place would be.... Cleaner.
Sandy:... This doesn't seem quite like a good living residence for a renowned blacksmith of Chi weapons.
Skipper: Yeah, even General Shinjin would frown upon this garbage heap.
Kun Lao: One thing to know, you call his place a garbage heap, it's gonna cost you what you want immediately. I told you, you do anything wrong, you're out, and there's nothing you can do about it. He... Is a little iffy on idiocy since his brother got fired thanks to one, and he ended up killing the son of his Emperor, and thus he had to be beheaded.
Icky/Iago: EEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kun Lao: So it's best that you leave this to me. I'll ensure that Snow-Hog doesn't mind your company.
Lord Shen: Well, considering our history of crazy first impressions, that would be wise.
Kun Lao: So, don't come out until I say it's fine. Again, if you screw this up, our chances of finding Hai Hoi are as well.
Rarity: Will you PLEASE stop escalating your point, your former highness? We have a lotta work to do.
Kun Lao: Very well. Wait here. (He hops out and knocks the door)... MR. SNOW-HOG? ARE YOU THERE?
???: "PISS OFF?! Whatever you junkers want, you can find it by yourselves on the floor."
Kun Lao: ACTUALLY, IT'S ME, KUN LAO! I JUST NEED TWO FAVORS FROM YOU!
???:... (A large white warthog similar to Taotie, only with more muscles and tattoos and white hair came out from the door. This was Snow-Hog) Oh, it's you. How is your retirement going since your own mistakes like the Kung Fu Permits, allowing a magic duck to push people around, and..... The river dolphin mistake?
Kun Lao: Oh... You heard that, huh?
Snow-Hog: Fu Wi told me. He just wanted to beg me to help give you words of advice considering the s*** you went through after making the river dolphins a functionally-extinct species. But, I refused because I swore off Chi blacksmithing. And even then, your blantent misuse of the finest sword in Chi Weaponry, already tainted by a history of magic discrimination, would make me more then iffy to help out either way.
Kun Lao:... Well... That's actually one of the many reasons we're here.
Snow-Hog:... We?
Kun Lao: I'll get to that later. You see... The Chi Sword my family had?... (He shows him the broken sword pieces)
Snow-Hog: IT BROKE?! How is that possable?! That was the finest steel in-...... Let me guess. You encountered a foe you couldn't fight? How unfortunate. But at least by judging the look on your face, your not much of a stubbern buck anymore. You were due a humility trip anyway. So you want me to re-forge it for you? Well like I said, your mistakes make that hard for me to do, even if it's for one of the greatest swords in existence! And even then, I'm retired! But I bet your gonna try and make me do otherwise. Alright, I'm itching to enjoy hearing you beg. But make it quick, the winds of the mountains are making themselves known.
Kun Lao: Your opinion of me is harsh but not surprising. But I assure you, the sword is not for me. You see, I left my adopted grandson, Lu Kang, as emperor, and I was hoping to give the sword to him so he can be he first Lu Kai to actually not just be positive, but also make a positive difference. His... Idiocy... Should play well in that, in that he's incapable to be smart enough to be even close to what Lu Kai the Terrorable was, aided by his, good temperment. And I mean, earnestly good temperment. Anger is non-existent in him. I was going to give it to him this Winter Feast, but...
Snow-Hog: You challaged a tough foe? I expected much. Well, as well-meaning as your intentions are, I'm afraid it won't be enough to convince me. I left this job behind me a long time ago. You'll find none of it left here.
Kun Lao:... Very well. I won't convince you. But let's get to the second favor which should sound a bit easier, if that's possible. The Dragon Warrior and his allies in the Jade Palace are here with their other-worldly friends, and they need help with the one responsible for the Chi Sword's destruction going to the second phase of her redemption. She'll need it if she's gonna beat Lu Kang's worse relative, or relatives. We seek Hai Hoi.
Snow-Hog: "...... Do you honestly think I live in the conditions that I'm in with no second leg AND in a cabin surrounded by old metal, if I know where that turtle is?"
Kun Lao: "Then, perhaps, explain the lair of the rouge Lu Kai?"
Snow-Hog: "...... Your better off not knowing where HE is if you know what's good for ya. I'm doing you a faver and sheilding you from his wrath.... AND THOSE YETIS?! I lost my leg to those beasts and have to rely on an old piece of bamboo I found left behind by a transport cart."
Kun Lao: "Wait, we would also wish to take you to the palace for warmth and protection if this Lu Kai has reason to believe you would be an issue."
Snow-Hog: "..... Well as long as I don't say anything, HE, won't need to. (Was about to slam the door, but Shifu stopped it.)"
Shifu: "..... Perhaps you would fine me abit more persaysive."
Snow-Hog stared confusingly.
Later.
Snow-Hog was seen enjoying Po's Noodle Soup.
Snow-Hog: "Mmm, Mmm! This is high quaility stuff, Dragon Warrior. Shifu wasn't lying about this stuff. Greatest meal I had in ages."
Shifu: "So, perhaps your more willing to shed some light on the matter?"
Snow-Hog stopped.....
Snow-Hog: "..... Just not here. The mountains have eyes and ears all around us. See me a fool all you want, but very little things get by, them, without spies knowing about it. And it won't be any safer in the palace."
Shifu: Am I to assume that these 'spies' are the 'Yetis' that took your leg?
Snow-Hog: Actselly they're a snow owl and a cave bat. But your not off about how the Yetis would do spying if it's nessersary. Their camouflage is quite good at blending with this season's snowy climate.
Icky: Well, we would be pretty stupid to not buy into this. After fighting a cat witch and an alien moth dude, world of suspension of disbelief is beyond already cracked, so they may as well be real.
Shifu: Indeed. And the Yetis are actually real, because when Tsin talked to me following the defeat of Mothlock, he said that the Chi-Tanukis of China confirmed that they are real. But they're not the traditional Yetis of legend. They're actually of Japanese origin....
Flashback
(Shifu): You see, the Yetis, called the Yeti Clan, are actually Japanese macaques that hailed from Japan in their land of Koi Springs. However, they sought enlightenment outside of their home, and came to China to study Chi, hoping to combine that with it's Japenese variant of Ki. But they ended up causing a mutation as a result, that turned them into giant monsters. Usually, they are peaceful folk, but based on what we heard, something, or someone, has lead them to a hostile path. However, it is unknown of their whereabouts, and they are poorly known to all of China except the Chi-Tanukis of Yunnan.
Present
Shifu:... So after hearing this information, I think we may've received enough clues from Snow-Hog.
Pang Bing:... Aren't we gonna help him with his Yeti problem?
Shifu: That won't be necessary. In this weather, and with the Yetis flawless camouflage that is able to throw off even the best of Kung Fu masters as if they weren't there at all, I don't think even we'd be enough. They've grown in massive numbers since their arrival. We'd be overwhelmed by their teamwork and strength.
Snow-Hog: He's right. You'd be doing me a favor by not taking on the yetis head-on.... Though, based on what you said, if it's even accreate to call them that anymore. In fact, I'll offer a deal: You deal with the Yeti problem by consulting it with the Chi-Tanukis of Yunnan, and I MAY consider repairing the Chi Sword. Well, depending on how well you do the job anyway.
Gazelle: "Though, here's where I'm abit confused. Shifu said they were once peaceful. How did they went from that to being bad enough to take away your leg. And it has to be more then just because of the modern Lu kai."
Snow-Hog: "Well..... Your half-right. The Lu Kai I've met is only encouraging them, but, the real shorce is because of the basturd son of the elder who once ruled the yeti clan, before he was condemned into an ice cave that was once his santuary. The nasty ape's the one who took my leg."
Icky: "Yeeesh. And people thought the new King Kong from the latest movie was narly."
Shifu: "An issue will contend with soon. Bu for now we must take you to the palace to take you away from a known location."'
Snow-Hog: "(Sighs).... Fine, if you insist."
Later.
The Van leaves the cabin.
Hidden in the snow, a duo of spies, A Snow Owl and a Cave Bat, were seen, and looked akin to the bat and owl from the 1990 "Happly ever after".
Snow Owl: "..... Rat Wing, looks like to me that we have an issue."
The Cave Bat (Rat Wing): "You, you'd think so, Snowise?"
Snowise the Snow Owl: "I don't think! I KNOW so! I say we skedaddle out of here and get to the boss. And try to keep up this time, you little mouse with wings!"
Snowise flew off as Rat Wing followed suit!
The Palace.
Snow-Hog was taken in.
Shifu: "We ensure you that the palace will be the safest place avaluable for the situation at hand."
Snow-Hog: ".... I hope so. Because I left this city for a reason. And it's besides the whole people think I'm crazy thing.... I seen this Lu Kai..... If you ever thought that Lu Kai the second was bad, oh-ho-ho-ho! He was nothing but a prototype, compaired to who I saw...."
Chapter 3: Lu Kai LXXII/Saving the Mekong River and Shangri-La[]
Elsewhere
A carved cave mouth in the shape of a Bovine skull was seen on the side of a mountain with a structure simular to Chorh-Gom Prison
Snowise and Rat Wing arrived and landed on the front porch, only to be quickly met with two "Yeti" guards with large ice sculpted weaponry!
Rat Wing: "WAIT?! IT'S US?!"
Snowise: "Hey easy on the ice age stuff, fellas! We're the boss's best spies, remember?! And we got big concerning news, capish?"
The Yeti's grunted in concern.
The gate opens.
Inside.
A scarred "Yeti" in armor was seen with a broken mouth and a clouth covering his left eye, snarling and banging his chest!
Armored Yeti: "WHAT?! ARE YOU TWO SIMPLETONS SERIOUS?! A GANG OF MISFITS DEFEATED THE MOTHRON AND HAVE TURNED THE CAT WITCH AGAINST US?! AND ON TOP OF THAT, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR HAI HOI?!"
Snowise and Rat Wing flinched!
Armored Yeti: "You have the ordasity to bring bad news HERE?!"
Other Yetis growled at the duo.
Snowise: "Hey, listen, Master Skun Kape, or if you prefer, "General" Skun, Warrior of the Snow, Beast Master of the Blizzard, King of the Yetis, please understand that, we can't always report good news, so, don't, shoot us for it?"
General Skun snarled.....
General Skun: "..... Your lucky that thanks to our progress, (walks over to the other side of the briage and sees the progress of what looks like some sort've primitive mech), the Ma-Chi Mech is almost ready. We already, have a magic shorce. We just need to seek out a Chi shource. And that defient turtle, is perfect for our cause."
Snowise and Rat Wing looked unsure at the machine below.
General Skun: "Hahahahahaha, (smacks the duo and freaks them out), Impressive what Yeti strentgh can do, eh boys?"
Snowise: "Uh, yeah, it's the bees knees!"
Rat Wing: "Oh yeah, it's, very impressive, very."
General Skun: "Exactly! I couldn't've asked for a better way to lead my kind away from my soft-hearted father's ways to become the warriors we should be! And Lu Kai is perfect for it. Soon the yeti clan will be worshipped as gods. We just have to, contend with intermediate matters. Well you two, it's time to see Lu Kai."
The duo gulped.
Skun leads Snowise and Rat Wing to the stairs, which leads to a room sealed off with an imperialistic door.
Skun opens it, reveiling a regel throwneroom out of place of the evioment it's in.
A female Buffalo simular to Xiao Niao is seen tending to some flowers as she worriedingly protects them from a stomping Skun.
General Skun: "Several Pardons, Lady Liu Kai the Delicate."
Skun walks off with out a second look.
Rat Wing: "..... Those flowers are beautiful, miss Liu. I-"
Snowise: "No time to talk to pretty girls, half-wit! (Drags Rat Wing away)! We have business to attend!"
Liu Kai sighed.
Skun leads the duo right into a shadowed silluette of a buffalo no less different to Temutai, only in a more regel appearence and an Asian mustache with more features akin to Lu Kang.
General Skun: "Lu Kai LXXII, The Misery Bringer..... We have, less then benifital news."
The Figure reveils himself as the Modern Lu Kai.
Lu Kai LXXII: "...... And what, is that?"
Snowise: "(Gulp)..... Rat, you tell him."
Rat Wing gulps.
Rat Wing: "..... Lord Lu Kai, you will not be happy to know that...... The Mothron you gave the containment device to.... Has been defeated. And, The Cat Witch is against us now."
Lu Kai LXXII: "...... So, who caused Mothlock to fail?"
Rat Wing: ".... The Shell Louge Squad, and the Uniter, your eminence. They're seeking to stop you, and, seeking Hai Hoi to further cure Pang Bing. That, could, complicate your plans...."
Lu Kai LXXII laughed.....
Lu Kai LXXII: "..... You sure that is suppose to be "Bad News"?....... All I hear is an oppertunity to prove my Lu Kai might to be greater then even Lu Kai II! Sure, I may've lost out on being the one who "Saves" the Land of Prosperity from the Mothron, but I got the next best thing. A new way to prove my worth as the rightful Emperor of China, and to revitalised my family's dream of controling the world and maybe, I could even be the generation to bring the universes into Imperial Chinese control."
Snowise: "Well, that, could be a real doosy trying to do that while the misfits are gonna be trouble."
General Skun: "Oh dear devines, you said the trigger word."
Snowise: ".... Aw, pellets."
Snow Bandits started to appear, along side rat servents, as Lu Kai got up in all his terrorable yet regel glory.
Lu Kai LXXII: "..... Well..... If they're looking for trouble..... They came to the right place......"
Lu Kai and the servents and bandits sing this, as after an intense start, they went from 80s or 90s tough rock to Roaring 20s dance, as Lu Kai went into a fancy suit by the end, but went back to normal when the song ends!
Strange Magic - 6. Trouble
Liu Kai facepalmed and sighed.
Skun rolled his eye.
Snowise: "..... Was that, really nessersary?"
Lu Kai LXXII: "Hey your the one who said the trigger word, Snowise. It's how I keep my sinuses in check, to keep my voice nice and clean. But that's besides the point. These misfits are my oppertunity to bring Hai Hoi out into the open. I mean, I already have my magic source, (Reveals that his imperial staff, which was the shorce of the crazy costume change, as it seems to emtrapped the Mother Orb), the magical space orb that created the cat witches, and I already know my Chi source. Hai Hoi. Not only has that turtle refused to aide me, but she even refuses to come out of her shell of a Temple! Well.... Those misfits are perfect to finally aquire the blasted turtle."
Rat Wing: "Well, that's the thing..... Snow-Hog's with them."
Lu Kai LXXII: "..... Tsk. How disappointing but unsurprising. I knew that old pig would finally get credability with someone.... And it's a shame too. I was really making his design for the Ma-Chi Titan a reality. It wouldn't be a proper thank you to.... Well.... Be the last things he sees before death..... But perhaps it's better this way. I mean, after all, as long as I know how to make a Ma-Chi Titan, keeping the original creator alive is.... Un-nessersary now. Skun, how would you, your finest "Yetis", and your, less then useful brothers, feel about a reunion with the one that got away?"
General Skun growled as he gave a Captain Grutt like grin.
General Skun: ".... I'll already make the move to leave, your highness."
Lu Kai LXXII: "Now that's a good ape! Oh, and one last thing..... Tell cousin Lu "Kang", I said, hi.... (Snickers sinisterly)"
Elsewhere
Some Yetis were seen enjoying frozen meals.
Two dim-wit Yetis, A fat one and a tall skinny one were seen.
Fat Yeti: ".... Hey, Du!"
Skinny Yeti (Du): ".... Yeah Si?"
Fat Yeti (Si): "...... Watch this! (Poses his hand to do a bunny over a candle to make shadow puppets.) They call it, "Sha-Dow Pu-Pets!" Cool, am I right, or am I right?"
Du: ".... Ohhhhhh. Let me try! (Jamples up his hand and manages to somehow make the Effel Tower).... Ohhhhh..... I have no idea what I just made."
Si: "(Laughs like a doofus) Good one, Du!"
The duo laughed their butts off to the annoyence of the other Yetis.
Skun kicks down the door and got everyone but the duo's attention!
General Skun: "ATTENTION ALL YETI CLAN?! (Sees Si and Du laughing like idiots).... THAT INCLUDES YOU TWO AS WELL, MON KAI SI AND MON KAI DU?!"
The duo finally realises their brother's demand and fumble about over eachother in comical fastion to reach to him and salute!
Si and Du: "SIR YES BROTHER?!"
General Skun smacks the duo as they make comical faces!
General Skun: "PAY ATTENTION, DUMBASSES?! Lu Kai wants us and some men to pay the city a visit. We're seeking out ol' Snow-Hog. That pig has long outlived his usefulness and we must make sure he doesn't lived to his usefulness to new enemies. So.... In otherwords..... WHO'S UP FOR SOME BACON?!"
The Yetis roared and slammed their chests in salute to General Skun's words!
General Skun: "...... I love my title as leader."
Du: "Wait! I just realise something!..... What's bacon?"
General Skun: "..... (Facepalms and groans)..... And the moment is ruined. Okay, let's just go to the weapon room and repair, you snow monkeys! And trust me! Your gonna need them! Let's just say our new challnage is no joke.... At least 90.99 percent of the time. Do not underestimate them even once. Is that clear?!"
The Yetis saluted and all walked off.
Mah Jong's throwneroom.
Snow Hog was taken to Mah Jong.
Snow Hog: ".... It's an honor to be around your presnece once again, Emperor Mah Jong."
Mah Jong: "Yikes man, I know you wouldn't be in the best shape of your life, but, what happened to you!"
Snow Hog: "I know, I know, I'm not the hansomest pig in the pen, but hey, beauty is skin deep."
Fu Wi: "Mind the emperor's words, he's concern about your.... Condition."
Snow Hog: "Hey don't be fooled, minus the lost leg, I'm as fit as a young tiger! I have cat-like reflexes, the eyes of the hawk and ears of a fox!"
Deadpool had a mischivious look and grabbed a vase!
Deadpool: "THEN THINK FAST, PORKY! (TOSSES THE VASE RIGHT AT SNOW HOG?!)"
Snow-Hog: (He caught it just in time and, despite his lost leg, he managed to place it back where it came from)... You do realize that vase was a family heirloom. Had that vase actually broke, you would've caused a war.
Deadpool: (He stared in shock)...
Icky: ".... REALLY, WILSON?!"
Deadpool: "AW COME ON, I WAS ONLY MAKING SURE HE WASN'T BULLSHITING?!"
Gazelle snorted.
Deadpool: "We're not in Zootopia, lady! Deal with it!"
Lord Shen:... Permission to cut off his balls?
Shifu: DENIED, SHEN! Nobody got hurt, and nothing irksome happened. Just remember that this is Imperial territory, Deadpool. I must remind you that Emperors do NOT like to get screwed.
WB Deadpool: Yeah, you almost screwed things over.
YB Deadpool: Whoopsy-daisy.
Deadpool: (Sighs) Does this mean I'm getting my ass hauled in with Pervis?
Shifu: If it had caused a scene as big as his, or maybe even bigger, then yes. But just remember that Emperors are easily aggressive.
Lord Shen: I still say I cut his nuts off.
Mah Jong: (Sighs) What I wouldn't do for a circumcision myself since that STD incident.
Fu Wi: What?
Mah Jong: NOTHING! Just, have Snow-Hog in our highly-guarded panic room. Since the last time Lu Kai LXXII attacked, we'll need to test it and ensure history doesn't repeat itself.
Fu Wi: Yes, sir! (He does that)
Lord Shen:... (Sighs) He's a little tense, huh?
Mah Jong: Unfortunately, yes. Ever since his son died on Mount Everest, he's been itching for another wife since his last one left to join your sister Chen in Beijing.
Lord Shen: (Sighs) Well, how unfortunate, yes. Chen ALWAYS thought she was the most 'right' royal sibling in the Gongmen Peacock family, and my panda-killing genocide 'proved it' to her. She said that none of our family had EVER done something as irksome as destroying that village, and even Wu Hao's dreams of a 'pyrotechnic weapon' and attempting to sue me for it had it not been for Cobra going all 'mind-trick' on him was butch compared to what I did with MY corrupted power. He couldn't possibly compare to THAT!... I hope.
Mah Jong: (Sighs) Indeed. Your family has had rough times before and after they invented fireworks. It is always said that what had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction, and fireworks are no different.
Icky: No duh! It's fireworks! They blew off Peter Griffin's fingers, for God's sake! They could turn Shan Yu into paste! THEY COULD DO ANYTHING TO SCAR A GUY FOR LIFE!!
Lord Shen: Couldn't have said it better. Besides, fireworks, ever since my campaign, have been limited to my family as much as I have limited my cannon production following becoming General of the Lodge. But enough about me. It's time we got to work at finding the Chi-Tanukis of Yunnan.
Mah Jong: Oh, about that. The Chi-Tanukis are not very easy to reach. Like the Pandas of the Dragon Warrior's heritage, they have been secretive for eons. They have been so and they only allow other Tanukis, China, Japan, or otherwise, within their lands. They are of a greater level of Chi than Pandas, they are good and agile Kung Fu masters, they are good at stealth and surveillance outside their land's borders, and they have been experimenting with Ki of Japan since visits from Ki-Tanukis like your newfound friend Tsin Shu. In fact, my Soothsayer friend said something about this happening last time I saw her in the Noodle Shop, and I know that Tsin is now paying that place another visit so he can begin his dream of a new Chi-Valley to revitalize his family legacy. You might as well wait for him there while discussing things with the Chi-Tanukis, provided you can persuade them to let you into their land. As relative of me and Shifu's species, they can be not just as strong as him, but 100x so with their gifts of Chi.
Po:... Well, Pandas ARE good at Chi. How do they feel about us?
Mah Jong: Oh, the two have shared hundreds of alliances in the past, so that MAY be a possibility. And they INDEED know a Panda is the Dragon Warrior, but don't expect them to be so enamored by such a title they'll let you in. You need to earn their trust and ensure they're a panda they can trust, and given your renowned weirdness, that's saying a lot.
Po: (Sighs) I was afraid of that.
Mah Jong: I know, but you should know that they are CAUTIOUS AS HELL of danger and intruders. Last time they were too trusting, they ended up nearly having their Chi stolen by a white wolf Chi parasite named Lieren Shēngming, who is still out there in their mountains trying to get it. Even Tsin had trouble kicking her out of the land. If you CAN get their trust, see if you can do them a solid by chasing that bitch out of the land.
Boss Wolf: Speciesist much?
Gazelle: "Is that canine slur REALLY called for?"
Mah Jong: In my defense, she's one of the wolves who is evil, so it's not quite speciesist when she's menacing enough for it.
Crane: He got'cha right there, BW and Gazelle.
Gazelle: "Still uncalled for in my eyes."
Deadpool: "And here I thought we were DONE with the intermediate threat crap!"
Shifu: Well, if we're going to move forward on this mission, we'll need their help. We'll just go near their land, and negotiate with them and explain the situation.
Mah Jong: I'm afraid no one explains anything to them. They will not be so easily swayed by a heroic crusade, even if it benifits the entire land in general, let alone themselves. You need to give them BETTER reason to trust you than that. Give them something that tells them you are as wise as their leader, the famous and fabled Zhanzheng.
Po: (He squees in fangasm)
Tigress: ("Here we go again!")
Mah Jong: "What? What? Was it something I said?"
Shifu: "Yes, and your about to hear why, in three, two, one...."
Po: THE ZHANZHENG?!? THE GUY WHO WIELDED THE SWORD OF HEROES AND WIELDS A SIMILAR SWORD, USING IT TO SLAY THE EVIL IMPERIAL USURPER OF THE YUNNAN PROVINCE?!? THE GUY WHO WIELDED THE BOTH OF THEM TO SLAY THE FANGGUI SHEN DRAGON DEMON OF HECK POO?!? (Icky scoffed at that) THE GUY WHO RESISTED THE TRICKS OF THE MYSTICAL HYPNOTIST JINGDI SONG?!? THE GUY WHO SUPPOSEDLY GAINED TRAINING FROM THE KING KAI OF THIS WORLD, THE LEGENDARY FOUNDER OF KUNG FU ITSELF, ZHU YĪNGXIÓNG, AND SURPASSED HIM IN TRAINING?!? THE GUY WHO DEFEATED THE FIVE UNSTOPPABLE SISTERS AING, EING, IING, OING, AND UING OF YUAN YIN IN BOTH WITS AND COMBAT?!? THE GUY WHO SLAYED THE CHI DEMON QI-WI?!? (Icky laughed abit at that) THE GUY WHO FOUND ENLIGHTEMENT IN ONE OF THE STRONGEST QILIN IN THE UNIVERSE?!? THE GUY WHO-
Tigress: PO! PLEASE! None of that!
Deadpool: Yeah, don't suck the guy's d*** after getting another Kung Fu boner!
Shifu:... You know what, Shen? Go ahead.
Deadpool: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN- (A slice was heard off-camera as everyone looked in shock) YOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWAAAAAhhhhhh (Sighs in pleasure)... Well, s***! There goes my chance of getting laid for the next 3-4 months. Yeah, sometimes, certain parts don't grow as quickly. That unfortunately includes my penis and balls!
Shifu:... (Sighs) I'll take it from here, your highness. I know of Zhanzheng more than you from Oogway, so we'll save you anymore disturbances. Come, everyone. We must find the Chi-Valley of Zhanzheng.
Po: (Squees 'Yeeeessss' dryly as they left)
Mah Jong:... (Sighs)... May Yinglong help us all!.... But at the same time, at least we have something exciting happening in the next few moments.
Fu Wi face palms.
Fu Wi: "And you were just FINALLY taking things abit seriously."
Mah Jong: "Hey, at least it was AFTER they left and saw me being nothing but serious."
Fu Wi: ".... Touche, your majusty. Tou, She."
Chiang Rung (Jinghong), Later...
Shifu: (As they got the van ready to travel through a river)... (Sighs) Curse the inflations of this Province. Alright, I was fortunate enough to pay for the entry through this cheaper area to go through the Mekong River's Lancang section. Not much is known about getting to the Chi-Valley of Zhanzheng. All that IS known is it's easy to get there by traveling up the Lancang River until we reach 'Chi Shangri-La'. There is a Cantor's giant softshell turtle sage here from the Heihe River who watches over the river, fittingly enough named Mekong, and he might offer clues as to guide us to this 'Chi Shangri-La', provided we can convince him as well as we can the Tanukis.
Po: Well, there IS a small chance at least ONE of them is craving a chance to meet me, but I guess I wouldn't count on it right now.
Mantis: Exactly. I heard of those Tanukis once or twice. And Mah Jong is right. They ARE very territorial and relentless. Even a Panda like you won't be enough to convince them. If we get the trust of Zhanzheng, it should be enough for them to aid us.
Viper: "We just need to be wary of River Highwaymen that lurk in the river. They have been known to mug and rob those who travel down the river for any reason and take away many things from them. Gold, Jewelery, Weapons, Mode of Transpertation, even the clothes off your back!"
Crane: "Sometimes, they even kidnap any women attractive enough for their "River Sex Trade" they hold with pirates and even Mongolian Sea-Fairers."
Deadpool: "Oh, then in that cause, The Smexy Shakira character is like the bullseye of that target range. They take one look of her ass, and it's a done-ass deal!"
Gazelle: "(Scoffs offended), RUDE?!"
Icky: "But not inaccreate. He has a point. I mean, look at ya! Your the sexiest disney character since Jasmine and Jessica Rabbit... Albeit a few others I had the misfortune to have discovered to had been in disgusting fan service! They have to be either stupid or gay to ignor your sweet ass!"
Lord Shen: "RUDE as you and Deadpool are being, I'm afraid that's a good point, Prehistoric One. Gazelle is at a high risk going down that river because of her attractiveness."
Gazelle: "Hey it's fine your worried about me, but I can handle myself!"
Shifu: "True, but even the Powers of the Uniter can only be so good until the weilder gets overwealmed and exhausted. The River Highwaymen are netouriously persisent to astronomic degrees! They'll keep coming until even you exhausted everything you have!"
Duke: "Yeah, Gazz, maybe it'd be a good idea to play it safe here. Though, what kind of animals are the River Highwaymen?"
Shifu: "They're otters from the river's location in the Yunlong County sector of Jumie."
Duke: "..... (LAUGHS)! No seriously, what are they?"
Shifu: "I said they're otters. And there's not of specific species, either. They're either Hairy-nosed otters, Smooth-coated otters, or Oriental small-clawed otters, the only otters native to this area."
Duke: ".... And Gazzy's supposed to be afraid of little watery ferrets?"
Po: "Hey, don't let their small sizes and cute faces fool ya! Otters can be very tough to deal with! They often have the size and home advantage, and they can be SLIPPERY! And trust me, the River Highwaymen are VERY strategic! Because they inhabit every corner of the river's mountainous elevated borders, they literally have hundreds of eyes, they use their cuteness like kunoichi, and are able to sink boats 20 times their size like they were cheaply made! And to top it off, they have the largest hoard of surviving chi weapons avaluable to them, and are capable to make more because they are lead by the modern and corrupted desendent of a famous Chi-Weapon Blacksmith, fittingly named, "The Oriental Claw", given his species. And he is no joke! He once made a weapon that redused an entire imperial fortress into ruins, without even trying!"
Duke: "..... I'm terrifived of otters now."
Nick: You mean-
Duke: YES, I MEAN OTHER THAN EMMETT'S SAVAGE STATE!!
Shifu: "You should, at least to the River Highwaymen."
Soothsayer: And I'm afraid they do need to be stopped. Mekong is travelling upriver to the floating algae farm in the Dêqên County to meet his freshwater stingray ally and establish a trade route across the river with permission from it's fishing cat mayor, Mayor Deqen.
Deadpool: You guys eat algae?
Po: Uh, have you not heard of fat choy, and other edible seaweed? You need to try seaweed dumplings. Makes Marty's seaweed-on-a-stick look like he was inspired by it.
YB Deadpool: Dude, you need get used to alternate country cuisine.
Deadpool: SORRY, it's just I thought fish ate that s***.
Fluttershy: (Noticing large fish beneath the water after seeing bubbles, then she peeks her head in the water to see a village-like runway on the floor)... (She gurgles in surprise, and goes back up)... Speaking of fish, apparently the Mekong River seems to be highly populated by them.
Shifu: Indeed, I was getting to that. The Mekong River is aided in trade routes by it's giant fish inhabitants, and they built mud-house villages that run the ENTIRE River from Vietnam to the splitting two rivers of Za Qu and Ngom Qu in the Xizang Region where it's mayor resides in Qamdo. But don't expect this to be a good time to socialize, Fluttershy. We need to go deal with said problem concerning the algae farm. This trade route is a siren call for the River Highwaymen to take advantage of.
Spyro: Plus, it's brackish water. Not enough salt to change into your merpony form, so don't expect to talk OR breath down there.
Fluttershy: Oh, I noticed when I stuck my head in. Besides, I don't really care as long as I interact with them. But that isn't an issue. I have another means of help for that problem that might ALSO help with that algae farm problem. (Takes out a FAD and brings it down into the river)
Rarity: Oh, right! The FAD you use in your Equantica trips to socialize with the fish.
Lord Shen: FAD? As in 'fish aggregation device'?
Fluttershy: If we were omnivores, yes. But this is not for that purpose. I use it to communicate with fish more effectively, especially when in brackish or freshwater where I can't become a merpony, and thus I can't speak for myself. I learned that fish are quite shy and hard to talk to, so I use this to talk to them and tell them there's nothing to worry about.
Shifu: Good thinking. Since the raids of the River Highwaymen, they've been cautious of floating objects like this. Reactions are ranging, as they often scramble and jump around like silver carp when even so much as a small person jumps into the water.
Fluttershy: No doubt we can use all the help we can get. (The FAD device gets to work as much of the fish come out)
Mekong Giant Catfish: What's with the crazy devi- (He and the fish notice Shifu and company)... M-M-Master Shifu!
Giant Pangasius: AND THE DRAGON WARRIOR!!!
Po:... Wow!... That plan worked better than I expected. Smart move, Fluts.
Fluttershy: (Blushes) Thank Marenia.
Shifu: Citizens of the Mekong River, we might need some aid. We need to protect Mater Mekong from River Highwaymen.
Giant Barb #1: And what makes you think we're brave enough to stand up to those bastards? When they dive down here, it's MORE than a home invasion!
Giant Barb #2: To be fair, we're freaking fish! We're basically afraid of everything.
Giant Barb #1: Yeesh! Self-Speciesist much?
Giant Barb #2: "Oh, you know it's not exactly inaccurate!"
Icky:..... Yyyyeeeeeeah, I can see why you get along with them, Fluts.
Kaa: (Dubbed as Julian) OOOOOH, BURN! He got you good, admit it! (Rainbow Dash gave him a mean glare.).... Ahem. Please continue.
Fluttershy:... Have you guys EVER fought for yourselves?
Giant Pangasius: Well, aside from causing accidental injuries and deaths through panicking fish-slaps, not really.
Fluttershy:... I, don't suppose you'd be willing to do that on purpose?
Mekong Giant Catfish: As much as we've contemplating such things since Mekong brought it up, we aren't much for violence. We've had long periods of non-violent behavior, besides a few exceptions, and mostly on accident, because our people believe in being a peaceful community. I know, I'm saying that in a world where there's criminals everywhere, I get why that is a hard thing to achieve without suffering some decades of poverty. I mean, don't peg us for easy targets because of that! The River HAS had many defenders throughout the years, but aside from that, we aren't much for fighting for ourselves.
Peng: Well then, what's to say you can't try? We had Kung Fu fight clubs un-abolished since I brought improvements to it's concept. It was once thought to be dangerous, but when I brought up that such things can help common people defend themselves, it was the start of a great new dawn of Kung Fu and self-defense measures.
Jullien's golden carp:... You know... That IS a good point.
Giant Barb #3: Yeah.
Thicklip Barb: I guess self-defense through things like that wouldn't hurt.
Lian: Then, how's about a deal. You help us, we'll give you your own fight club arena so you can learn to defend yourselves from enemies like the River Highwaymen.
Barb #4:... You MAAAY wanna consult with Mayor Diao in Qamdo on that one.
Deadpool: AW, DAMMIT, YOU SERIOUS?!? WE HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THE RIVER FOR THAT?!?
Barb #5: Uh, yeah! He doesn't like it when things in the river are done without his permission. And in case you're wondering, he has an underwater Temple beneath the city's surface and is viewable from said city. While the city's mayor, Mayor Je Qu, runs the city, he runs the river. And keep in mind, Diao and his family are why we are peaceful and reclusive folk. His family are long against being confrontational because his family were victims of the Land-Sea War. You, can't exactly blame him for being, cautious about such things.
Shifu: "And we respect the mayor's beliefs. But we will seek to convince him to understand the impourence of self-defence while not sacrivicing his family's peaceful values."
Private: But-but-but what about-
Mekong Giant Catfish: Hey, you said you were gonna help Mekong beforehand, right? Just do him that solid, THEN talk to Mayor Diao.
Skipper: Yeah, PRIVATE! Kowalski? Add that to his naïve thoughtless comments file. (He did that)
Thicklip Barb:... That's not very nice, Mr. Penguin.
Skipper: Sorry, I don't TAKE SASS FROM NO FISH!! And consider yourself lucky you're sentient, OR ELSE I WOULD'VE HELPED MYSELF TO A NICE CHINESE SYTILE BUFFET AND- (Fluttershy smacks him)
Fluttershy: SKIPPER! Please, I'm sure they know best. Let's just give them the benefit of the doubt, and hope that they learn for themselves. I'm sure these precious fish can learn to slap for themselves. (To the fishes) And sorry about Skipper's behavior, he's from a world were fish aren't sentient.
Barb #5: "Doesn't make us any less cautious about pissing him off again, but, we won't hold him against him for his words. We, kinda gotten the concept that a lot of you aren't from this world."
Po: But what Fluttershy said is an awesome point! If a fish like Mugen can fight, so can they.
Mekong Giant Catfish: If you mean THE Master Mugan of the Garnet Palace, then we have been knowledgeable of how much she pushes her students until they crack, so despite NOT being the right fish to trust, she IS a good example, but nevertheless, there ARE other fish Kung Fu masters that are better and more reliable than her.
Icky: Wait, her name isn't pronounced like that make-your-own-arcade game?
Mekong Giant Catfish:... There's an 'A' where the 'E' is, yes.
Icky:... (Sighs) Goddamit, producers! YOU AND YOUR GETTING NAMES WRONG?! (A sign appears that said "His name is actselly spelled I-C-H-Y")...... Toushe, you wiseasses. Tou, freaking, she!
Po: Well, she DID help us in our previous missions. So I do know that, even if you fish need hydration to live, you can last on land long enough to fish-slap the shiznet out of those otters. But we won't convince you. Just spread the word and think about it.
Fluttershy: Indeed.
Gricky: Smooth sailin' ahead, whackjobs! (They went up the river as Fluttershy got her FAD out)
Giant Barb #6:... Should we?
Giant Pangasius: I don't know. But if anyone wants to, then by all means, the water's the limit. (They dived back down)
Dêqên County Floating Algae Farm
(This music played as the city of Deqing was seen, and among it's borders was an expansive floating market teaming with land and water inhabitants doing business with each other, and deep in the water, was an expansive marketplace where fish and semi-aquatic animals resided)
Crash Bandicoot Wrath Of Cortex - Tsunami Music
Mekong: (He appeared as a Cantor's giant softshell turtle, as he glided across the water gracefully yet quickly, entering the market he was heading for, which had large gardens of seaweed crops of multiple colors, as it was run by a Giant freshwater stingray and his family)... Hello, Wei Pinghua.
Freshwater Ray (Wei Pinghua): Well, look who's fastionably late once again. Mayor Deqen was quite insistent you arrive on time, yet you're 15 minutes late. Thought for sure you wouldn't show up before the market closed temporarily for the upcoming River Highwaymen invasion. Don't need any flat river beds, sunken market wrecks, bankruptcy, and God forbid any people reduced to skinny dippers after having their clothes robbed.
Pinghua's Wife: HONEY! Don't say that in front of Woixi!! Next thing you know, his friends are gonna start doing that.
Wei Pinghua: HE'S OUT IN THE YARD, SHEXIAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!
Mekong: Well, I'm here, so public nudity, among the other problems, won't be a grave concern yet. I may be in my middle-aged days, but that doesn't mean I'm not fight-capable.
Wei Pinghua: Well, we NEED this trade deal to follow through. The people in Cambodia, Siam, and Laos need some rations after those famine crises have been going on, and we don't need any slippery otters only serving to prolong their suffering!
Mekong: Don't worry, Mr. Wei, you'll do just fine.
Wei Pinghua: I hope so. The last time they attacked, so many people had trouble with their life savings, their crops, their bankruptcy, and worst of all, having to try and get home naked and get new clothes... ONLY TO FIND NONE LEFT AS THOSE SLIPPERY BASTARDS STOLE THEM ALL!!! It's disgusting!
Mekong: Keep in mind that babies start out naked. Also, we're animals. It's typically not as bad as if we were all humans or humaniod beings, now that would've been unpleasent.
Wei Pinghua: Yeah, but it doesn't make the problem any less, unpleasant. Just get to Mayor Deqen and inform him of our new protection, please.
Mekong: "New protection you say?"
Wei Pinghua: "Looks like someone forgot to visit the ol' rumor mill! There's talk that the Jade Palace Masters, some friends, both native and alien, are getting people hyped about getting us to start "Defending" oursevles from the River Highwaymen. Sounds inviting, but I doubt Mayor Diao would ever allow it. You know how much that guy's being consisent about his family's being pussies because of how his ansisters got the raw end of the deal in the Land-Sea Wars."
Mekong: "How interesting. Perhaps I should take time to join that cause."
Wei Pinghua: "You be wasting your mid-life time. As I said, Mayor Diao is a netourious wimp! He's afraid of violence like it's a watery parasite! Diao will sooner reject them hard then accept anything from them! Besides, the River Highwaymen aren't a typical problem worthy of Shell Lodger interfearence. The Highwaymen never go beyond typical criminal strings***."
Mekong: "But there is one thing that would justify such an intervention. Their leader being from a Chi Weapon blacksmith."
Wei Pinghua: "Yeah but they never do anything, conquesty with that! They just do criminal stuff with it!"
Mekong: "But what would stop them being enfluenced to use those weapons for worse things should a dark force seek them out. Whatever the Lougers initial reasons are, even if it's to protect our trade or because they're concerned for the Uniter because.... Well, I hear she's quite a looker. And we all know what typically happens to beautiful women in these parts."
Wei Pinghua: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, DON'T GET STARTED ON THAT SEX SLAVERY STRINGS***!! An old childhood friend got captured for being a hot fish!! I never saw her again since. Well, even then, the River Highwaymen are not like the other criminals they treat like pushovers! The Chi weapons alone are bad enough, but they're also crafty and slippery little devils?! They have the homefield and size advantage and mastered every stragity in the book! Heroes greater then even them, ended up leaving in humiliation and shame in being defeated by those otters! What hope do they have to do better then heroes that have challnaged them before?"
Mekong: ".... That they are not easily predictable. I should, probuly get to Mayor Deqen now."
Mekong left.
A Cybister tripunctatus orientalis diving beetle was seen hidden.
Diving Beetle: "...... New heroes? Oh no. That, that won't do! I, I have to warn Oriantel!"
The Diving Beetle swam off!
Deqen's Office
Mekong: (The flat pancake-like turtle waddled into the fishing cat mayor's office)... Greetings, Mayor Deqen Gong.
Fishing Cat Mayor (Mayor Deqen):... Ah, there you are, Mekong. 18 minutes late as usual.
Mekong: My apologies, sir. The river is an EXPANSIVE place. The underwater runway is literally as long as a river.
Deqen: Don't bother with excuses, Mekong, they don't matter in the long run. I just hope you have plans to fix this Highwaymen attack the Soothsayer predicted was coming. Remember what happened the last time. ESPECIALLY when my teenage daughter was swimming in the river and ended up... (Shivers)... Humiliated by those damn otters. I swear to Yinglong, those little water-weasels have gone TOO far with that.
Mekong: I assure you, there is some good news. The Shell Lodgers, including Master Shifu and the Dragon Warrior have inspired the underwater inhabitants to stand up for themselves.
Deqen: Ohh, that's not good. Mayor Diao is against that stuff since the Land-Sea War.
Mekong: Well, it IS necessary. With people like the Highwaymen, we may need protection.
Deqen: Diao might not think the same way, though. Diao's family were great sufferors of that war. Diao may've been known to see that war, but it haunts him as if he was actselly there to see it. And, I can't really blame him. Much of the Yellow Sea has the skeletons of drowned victims. You can't blame Diao not wanting to confront problems in such ways ever again.
Mekong: Diao, I assure you, will be attended to in due time. Now, onto the trade route. We need to protect it at all costs. Hopefully, the people of the river will do so.
Deqen: I doubt Diao would allow such a thing.
Mekong: Have more faith then that Degen. Diao will be open to change when he understands that his people truely need this in a world that does not respect misguided well intentions.
Mekong turns and leaves.
Chinese bamboo rat: (He arrived) Sir, I couldn't help overhearing. I mean, these ideas DO have merit, but it all sounds so aimless. The Highwaymen are NUMEROUS as they inhabit every mountain corner bordering this area of the river. They're squeezing us on all sides.
Deqen: I agree, Zushu. But it doesn't heard to at least attempt it. I'm tired of these bandits doing whatever they want because of Diao being a cowerd about an albeit horrorable war. It's time for change. And if we don't go through with this, the Highwaymen will just continue to be a problem.
Bamboo Rat (Zushu):... Yes, sir! (Bows and scurries off)
Oriental Claw's Hideout
Diving Beetle: (He swam quite fast, and despite fighting off the currents, he arrived)...
???: Kunch..... Any news from downstream?
Water Beetle (Kunch): Master! We, might, have a problem. I, think we might want to consider.... Canceling the invadtion.
???: (An Oriental small-clawed otter who, despite expected to be menacing, is actually a cute-faced individual who nevertheless shows a menacing evil face) Define to me, WHY, we should cancel?
Kunch: It's, the Shell Louge Squad, sir. You see... They've inspiring the fish of the river to fight back.
Oriental Claw: (Laughs confidently)......The frightened pasifsitic introverts? Fighting back? As long as Diao is encharged? Please, they have more hope teaching a pig to fly, then making those cowerds fight back. Besides, how would they even dream of atthiving this? They're too afraid to even talk to someone like you! And they can swallow you whole if they wanted to!
Kunch: Well, I easedropped on some gossupers, and, based on what I heard, they had Equestrian ponies with them. A yellow one seemed to be drawn to them to convince them.
Oriental Claw: THE Equestria? The world of unabridled purity? If that's suppose to be bad news, then all you did is gave me infomation about future River Sex Trade items. Then again, impressive feat even getting the fish to act like that, but above all else, pointless. The fish will panic the minute they see us, and again, Diao will never allow it. The raid will continue as plan, we'll just send a few of our strongest to humilate the lougers, and any hope for change shall be twharted, like we did to that dumb oxy moron feline daughter of the mayor. We humiliated heroes before, we'll do it again. We've yet to encounter a real threat.
Kunch: (Sighs) Sir, I think we may need to consider-
Oriental Claw: Enough of your worrying, Kunch. We've have managed to beaten stronger heroes then a vast majority of the lougers. This will be no different. Plus..... I hear the New Uniter is quite a looker. That is a great aution waiting to happen, Kunch. And I want to take advantage of that. Order my men to get their best Chi weapons, and tell them all webbed hands to battle stations.
Kunch: But sir-
Oriental Claw: Off you pop.
Kunch:..... (Sighs and dives back into the water.)
Oriental Claw:... I may lived the life of being apart of a shamed ansistery thanks to the idiocty of the Lu Kai, but at least my revenge to china, though small, is enough to put a further sting in the imperial river ways damaging enough to discourage all who enter my river. And soon enough.... Even otherworders will respect the River Highwaymen when I turn those misfits into even BIGGER jokes then half of them are and turn the Uniter into some Pirate Captain or Mongolian's new trophy wife! Then that way, if the Oriental Claw can't be loved like it used to..... Then it shall be feared......
Later...
Fluttershy: (As she was peeking her head in the water and saw the marketplace beneath the floating market)... (She pokes out)... Well, I gotta say, the marketplace down there DOES have quite a good Chinese architecture.
Skipper: But is there ANY clear visual on Mekong?
Fluttershy: (She peeks down to check)...
Kaa:... (Sighs) Bless her soul.
Twilight: At least she's helping. She helped us get those introvert fish out, it's clear that Marenia inspired her to step out of a preferred public and territorial comfort zone on land. Her animal skills are expanded now.
Mr. Krabs: Amazing, really.
Deadpool: (As she continued looking)... Good Lord, the lungs on that pony!
Fluttershy: (She peeked out after taking in air)... Nope. Don't see him. That marketplace is HUGE! Some of us might have to go down there and search for him.
???: That won't be necessary, Miss Fluttershy. (Mekong arrived)
Deadpool:... WOW! You're as flat as a pancake.
Mekong: "Ah, allow me to introduse myself. My name is Master Mekong, and I'm the one who doesn't judge or mock based on appearences."
Gazelle punches Deadpool down for that!
Deadpool: ".... Compaired to my balls being chopped off, that was a slap on the wreist, or the face this instence.... Owch though."
Shifu:.... Ignor Deadpool, he's only along for the journey. Anywho..... Greetings, Master Mekong.
Mekong: Greetings, Master Shifu. What's kicking?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I'll tell you what's kicking. US doing so to those otter bandits looking for trouble.
Mekong: Well, I trust you are here to aid us on the upcoming invasion our orchid mantis soothsayer informed us about?
Soothsayer: Indeed. Seems we soothsayers share connections all throughout China, so Ding Xiang contacted the nearest soothsayer for help. Which was me.
Mekong: Splendid. And word on the river street is that you're helping fish stand up to the Highwaymen.
Fluttershy: Well, that was MY idea, actually.
Mekong:... Indeed it was. I have only heard tales of an Equestrian pony who saved merponies and thus had a fascination for other environment types including water. Never thought I get the honor of meeting such.
Fluttershy: Yeah, I felt bad that these fish were too scared to stand up to bullies, so I gave them a little push in the right direction.
Mekong: Wise girl. But know that Mayor Diao-
Skipper: Has been a total hippy-bounded nancy-cat on violence since the Land-Sea War, we know. We were informed by the fishy inhabitants. But I'm sure it's not something we can discuss to him about.
Fluttershy: Though, it is sad that they are, of all things, otters. They're very cute when I go to the beaches where they reside.
Mekong: (Sighs) Yes. And otters are supposed to be a non-violent people. Unfortunately, since the otter villages here have been taken over by The Oriental Claw, things have never been the same for them. He lives in personal shame that his ansistery made the mistake of helping Lu Kai the Second create weapons to use against magic, and has feared that his family would be hated. So, he grew to believe that if his family name of the Oriental Claw can't be loved, then it shall be feared. As such, he and prior like-wise ansisters had dominated our rivers for many years, suns and moons. They commit countless acts of property damage, and take our crops, our yuan, everyone of value and or use, sometimes the most beautiful women in the land, and even the most degrading of all... They steal even the clothes on everyone's back, wanting to make sure they don't even have THAT to hold onto. They even have done it to Deqen's daughter, who's at least lucky she wasn't subugated to a sex slave auction.... As of yet.
Twilight: Sweet Celestia!
Po: Eeeh!
Deadpool: Oh, who WOULDN'T like it anyway? (Shen slapped him into the water, and surfaced back up.).... Still not as bad as losing my balls.
Shen: Do remember that the fish around the swimmers are SENTIENT, you insensitive moron! It's NOT advisable to do it naked when keeping that in mind.
Deadpool: (As he got back up onto the boat) Oh, take a joke, Shenny boy! (A splash was heard)
Twilight: Oh, great, and now Fluttershy's doing it.
Pinkie: Oh, we all knew it was gonna happen anyway.
Mekong: Anyway, onto the business at hand. I might indeed need some help since my students are out doing something else for a while. I wasn't sure what to do until you came along.
Mushu: Oh, trust me, Mekong, we are a GOOD substitute. People cry when they take a beating from us.
Mekong: (As a bubble trail was seen) Well, these otters show no fear, and quite frankly, no pain either. It's still gonna be a challenge to even pose a hindrance to them. Especially when you have an entire fish army.
Mekong: (As the bubbles approached him) You sure about that? (Fluttershy breached and gasped)
Fluttershy: I assure you, Master Mekong, they need it. They've been scared for THIS long, so what could be better than getting them out of their shells, no pun intended?
Mekong: True as that may be, this is STILL gonna be a challenge. Just try your best to keep this trade route safe. It's supposed to go to Vietnam, Cambodia, Taos, and Siam since they've had some pretty rough times.
Fluttershy: Well, then that makes me DOUBLY determined to do this. I can't stand seeing you animals die of starvation, sickness or otherwise. Trust me, we have this all under control.
Mushu: You bet your ass we do. We're the goddamn Shell Lodgers.
Iago:... You know, that Batman meme is not so subtle when using our name in it.
Mushu: Oh, go choke on a peanut! (To Fluttershy) Now come on outta there before you get all pruny and stuff.
Mekong: "And before the Leeches set in."
Fluttershy: "..... Huh?"
An Asian Leech appeared!
The Leech: "(Two leeches were seen as one of them pointed at her, as the other got buggy-eyed when he saw Fluttershy, particularly her flank)..... HEY, BOYS?! WE'RE EATING GOOD TONIGHT?! GET'ER DONE?!"
More Leeches showed up as they started hooting and hollering as they all charged at Fluttershy!
Fluttershy: "..... Meep."
Icky, Rainbow Dash, Iago, and Mantis jumped in and intervined!
Icky: "AW NO YOU DON'T, YOU LITTERALLY BLOOD-SUCKING REDNECKS?! (Brings out a golf club), No ones taking Flutter's blood unless she's donating that s***!"
Leech 1: "Ohhhh, sounds to me like y'all like to razzle. Hey, Big Blood! You got new razzle mates!"
Mantis: "Wait, Big Blood? Who's-"
The ground and river began to shake as a misproportionally large shape rose from the ground.
Mantis: "...... I'm about to get my answer, aren't I?"
Mantis, Icky, Iago, and Rainbow Dash fearfully turn around to see a giant leech wearing an asian hat, laughting stupidly like a steriotypical hillbilly as music played.
Dueling Banjos - Deliverance OST
Some bit from the early start, 0:48 then get to the end 2:13
Icky: "..... Oh you know your into some Hillbilly shenanigans when banjo music plays.
Mantis: "..... Is that..... Big Blood?"
Big Blood: "...... Yyyyyup. Now let's get ready to razzle. (Laughs goofully)."
Rainbow Dash: "..... (Nerviously laughs)..... I, I think I heard my laundry calling. BYYYYE?!"
Rainbow Dash zoomed out as the duel music began to get intense, Mantis, and a screaming Iago and Icky followed suit as Big Blood laughed excitingly chasing them!
Fluttershy: "..... Oh, my-"
The Leeches pounced onto Fluttershy!
Rainbow Dash, Icky, Iago, and Mantis screamed while being chased by Big Blood!
Big Blood: "I LUV TO RAZZLE?!"
Icky: "DAMN IT RAINBOW, WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING INCAPABLE OF FEAR?!"
Rainbow Dash: "I THINK MY LESSONS FROM HASBRO ON HOW TO FEEL FEAR AGAIN MAY BE BACKFIRING?!"
Iago: "THEN WE HAVE TO UNDO THEM SO YOU CAN KICK BUBBHA MC-PARASITE'S ASS?!"
Mantis: "THINK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU SAW IN THE ROBOT CIRCUS AND REMEMBER ON HOW THEY MAKE THIS BIG FAT BLOOD-SUCKER LOOK PALE IN COMPAIRISON?! DO IT FOR FLUTTERSHY BEFORE SHE BECOMES AN ALL YOU CAN SUCK BLOOD DRIVE FOR THOSE REDNECKED VAMPIRES?!"
Rainbow Dash: "I MAY HAVE TO DO THAT IN A BETTER TIME?! RIGHT NOW, LET'S JUST RUN?!"
Big Blood: (GOOFY GAFFAWS!)
Twilight: (Sighs) This is why it's often dangerous to swim in waters like this. Tell me, Mekong, has this EVER happened before?
Mekong: Oh, these guys are the Xixue River Ranchers. They're not usually evil or intentionally dangerious, but they are slaves to their basic instincts to be parasites. They have stolen blood from the locals here multiple times. They have ended up causing bull shark frenzies once or twice and had one as a pet until they relocated it for safety reasons. Thankfully, they only tackle strangers.
Fluttershy: (As she got herself to the surface for air) Well, while they DO seem cute, they're being pretty harmful.
Leech #2: (One of the leeches on her belly) CUTE?!? CUTE?!? YOU'RE CALLING US CUTE, GIRL?!?
Big Blood: (Screeches to a halt as Rainbow, Icky, Iago and Mantis stopped when they noticed that Big Blood stopped and comedically crashed into trees!)... Ya'll called us that? We're touched! Now we REALLY want yer' blood!! DRAG HER DOWN SO WE CAN RAZZLE HER EASIER!!!!
Fluttershy: WAIT!!! (They stopped)... You guys realize that stealing blood is considered murder, right?
Big Blood:... Well, our family leader, and my Pa, Xixuegui, has limited our blood thefts because, well, we done take more then nessersary, andinadvertingly HAVE attracted unwanted attention, what with the making Bull Sharks to excitable and what-not.
Fluttershy: And isn't DROWNING people a little... Pushing it?
Leech #2: Oh, don't soil the water, child, we were gonna perform CPR on you once we got our fill. That's what Xinfei Fusu here is for.
Xinfei Fusu: CLEAR!! (He blasts an entire puff of bubbles)
Leech #2: Xixuegui is not as blood-thirsty as his murderous father, Xuexing, but he has had similar legacies as said father. I mean, even then, it taint nothing personal to anyone. We're just doing it because it's what we do as leeches.
Twilight:... Have you ever considered a career in medical aid?
Leech #3: HAH! Much of our family members are ALREADY hirudotherapists in Deqing. The rest of us want something BETTER than that.
Fluttershy: Well... We are kinda in the midst of saving this river's important famine-stopping trade routes from the Highwaymen.
Leech #4:... (They all laughed hillbilly-like)... THOSE JOKERS?!? They're AFRAID of us!
Fluttershy: Oh, I guess that makes sense considering your di-... Say that again?
Leech #4: I said the Highwaymen are afraid of us.
Fluttershy:...
Mekong:... Fluttershy, I think your little swim just gave us additional allies in the fight against the Highwaymen.
Big Blood:... You want us to scare off them otters? Well, what's in it for us?
Mekong:... Perhaps... We could give you your own trade route and donate you some blood so you won't have to torment anymore swimmers. I mean honestly, you guys are a bit of a nuisance, regardless of your natural instinct.
Fluttershy: Yes. I have dealt with leeches before on one of my trips in the Bog where I drop off frogs. They're cute, but they NEED to not scare off anyone like us ponies. ESPECIALLY in situations like this. So, I'm offering this chance to you. You help us drive off these thieves, and we'll reward you with as much blood as you need... As long as you don't torment people.
Leech #5: Eh, we were looking for an easier way out of this. I was hoping we do this torment strings*** to those who have bad blood. In fact... I tricked the boss here to target your flank because... Well... You seem to have had bad blood in it.
Applejack:... Say what?
Mekong: Well, they are so heightened at their senses, they can sense sickness and bad blood in anyone. So, I call kudos on such a decision.
Leech #5: Yeah. Saw her when she was swimming underwater and interacting with the inhabitants, then smelled something off. Has she ever had any trauma since she got here?
Fluttershy: Well... Our recent battle in the Land of Prosperity did scratch me once or twice.
Leech #5: Oh, well that explains it. Your wounds must've been infected. I was hoping to get these gullible boonies to suck the infected blood.
Mekong: What was she about to be sick with?
Leech #5:... Cryptosporidium.
Kowalski: Ohh, snap. The protozoic parasite responsible for cryptosporidiosis. Gastrointestinal illness and watery diarrhea. Must've got it when Deadpool pushed her into the water as a prank on our way here.
Deadpool:... Oopsie!
Lord Shen: (Face-palms) Goddamn it, Deadpool
Deadpool: "AW COME ON, AT LEAST IT HELPED BRING UNEXPECTED ALLIES HERE?!"
Fluttershy:... That's... Actually nice.
Leech #1: Oh, TARNATION, SHAN LIANG, WE WEREN'T THAT DOGGONE DESPERATE!!! We would've followed through if you just ASKED!!!
Shan Liang: Well, some of you are known to take things too far with your blood thefts. I say we help them with the Highwaymen. In counter-return for their service, we'll be travelling hirudotherapists. We'll go to any swimmers and give them a free suck of bad blood.
Kowalski:... You know, for blood-sucking annelids, you're alright.
Bad Blood: Well, if it means we have as much blood as we can drink, I'M IN, BABY!!! (He jumps in the water with a huge splash) LET'S RAZZLE SOME OTTER MEANIES!!!
Fluttershy: Just... Please take it easy next time you do things like this, mainly be introducing yourself before doing it. You can easily spook people when you touch them.
Leech #7: When have we EVER not? (Rimshot) We'll start you off by bringin' you to our bog village.
Gricky: Ain't the van amphibious?
Sandy: Get in the van and use the shrinking capabilities used on Insectasaurus.
Icky, Iago, Rainbow Dash and Mantis climbed back onto the boat.
Icky: "..... Rainbow, I think we need to undo at least enough of Hasbro's fear lessons so you can go back to being fearless again."
Rainbow Dash: "I know, I know. We'll do it the first thing after Chrismas and Hearth's Warming."
Starlight: "I can help with controled Mental Attacks if you want."
Iago: "We'll save ya when we need to go extreme about it. Besides, we heard that Dr. Cric was allowed to have his dream robotic circus again. Even the robot circus preformers have return to working there, even those pirate foxes, well only on certain events because they still enjoy their pirate lifes. We'll just pay him a visit as a first attempt to de-fearafy Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow Dash: "OH I LIKE THAT PLACE, IT'S AWESOME?!"
This was watched by Kunch.
Kunch:... Aw, son of a barb! That is REALLY gonna complincate things. (He swam off)
Later...
Oriental Claw: THEY GOT THE XIXUE RIVER RANCHERS?!? BUT THEY'RE USUALLY TOO STUCK IN THEIR INSTINCTS TO BE NEGOSIATED WITH?!
Kunch: Well, again, the yellow pony has managed to surpass expectations. Worse off, they found out we're afraid of them because of the fact that they targeted us a lot, especially when their previous leader scared the men during one of our raids.
Oriental Claw: And thank the divines that he's not leader anymore. I may not be afraid of those parasites myself, but they are DIFFICULT to deal with reguardless! Even when they are semi-stupid! Bull sharks ended up lured their by the smell of blood in the water. A miserable truth that there's a shark species that survives in both salt and freshwater.
Kunch:... If I can make a suggestion, now that we know their plan, how about we plan around it?
Oriental Claw: While that is a smart point, the leeches are NOT ALWAYS so stupid! Those less stupid leeches have grown to reckindise our stragities! They will likely tell the damn heroes everything! Nothing would be a surprise to the Lougers! And I am NOT fond of dealing with an enemy that sees you coming! Espeically when they're allied with those leeches who are guilty of sins of their own, like my family name!
Kunch: They've been a bit more moral since Xuexing's son took over.
Oriental Claw: True, but that's besides the point, Kunch! You know how powerful his family has been since they made accidental blood-based chemical to turn them huge, Big Blood being bigger because of his over-dose! They brought us greater reason to fear average-sized leeches, because when one can be seen, a Xixuegui won't be too far behind. It makes us hard to keep out of the water.
Kunch: But... Not meaning to encourage you, by the way, but, it's merely a suggestion, but.... What if they were out of the picture? Is there anyone in your ranks that can deal with that?
Oriental Claw:... Actually, yes. I may have to call... Him.
Kunch:... (Gulp). Why do I encourage you...? Your best Chi Knight, sir?
Oriental Claw: Yes. He actually is immune to whatever infection they sucked up, considering his species. Even Big Blood is afraid of him, even when giant-sized. Bring in the vulture known as... Bing Dou!
Kunch:... Yes, sir! But know that, Bing Dou is struggling with second thoughts for awhile now. He doesn't nessersarly approve to what we're doing.
Oriental Claw: "I know, I do feel that he's an ineditable betrayal waiting to happen since he was from an honorable family before vulture discrimination became a problem, in thanks to his giant gluttinious uncle of the desert, but he's a risk worth taking against making sure we stay ahead of what is now the River Highwaymen's greatest challnage."
Kunch: Understood, sir. (He went back into the water and swam off)
Xixue Swamp
Big Blood: (They surfaced into a large swamp with not just leeches, but other animals with a hillbilly architecture and culture)... Well, here we are y'all! Home sweet home!
Fluttershy:... Nice for this country of the world. Though, I need to ask..... Exactly why do you and the other leechs don't speak so.... Asian-like?
Big Blood: Oh shucks, that's easy, we's was from Europe.
Cynder: "That explains the cultural incorrectness of their behavior, actselly."
Chinese Pond Heron: Welcome back, Big Blood! (Sees the group)..... Okay, who's blood did you done try to drink this time?
Big Blood: Well, mainly the yellow pony, but we was actselly nice, and I almost got to razzle with her blue friend, two naked birds and Mr. Mantis. We have been promised a greater deal. This nice Equestrian pony has offered us kindness.
Leech #2: And to be fair, it's the first legitimate kindness we had since Xuexing was retired.
Mekong: Hello, Pond Xi. I see you've found a greater purpose of helping out the poverty.
Chinese Pond Heron (Pond Xi): Yeah. These leeches are nice once you get to know them, and if you're one of the rare individuals to find them cute. That's what invites you to this place if you repay the kindness.
Fluttershy: As I see.
Pond Xi: And this place's leader has done well in quelling them, especially since he had Xuexing sent to Chorh-Gom Prison for his crimes in the river. That water dragon is quite the master of hillbilly culture AND Kung Fu himself.
???: (Rough Redneck voice) Confoundery, Pond, let me to speak for myself, Woman! (A Chinese water dragon came in on his Softshell turtle escort) Now, allow me to use my formal-like voice. (Ahem).... (Sounds more asian and formal then his redneck voice) Greetings, Master Shifu. I have already seen what you all are here for, and I mean to help you.
Shifu: That's splendid, Master Xiyi.
Icky: "Wow, do we have a master of multiable voices or what?"
Master Xiyi: "I came from a family that masters the art of voice-change, so I can be formal like so, (Goes back to Redneck voice) Or I go back to using westener articulation so I can connect better if folks around here. (Backs to formal asian voice) So I am never uncomfertable to anyone."
Icky: "...... Can you talk like your one of those announcers from Propaganda shorts?"
Master Xiyi: "(Exactly like that) Hello, Xixue Swamp! Today we'll be tlaking about the dangers of The Musquios of Maleria! (Formal Asain voice) In all serious though, be careful around Musquitos, Maleria is a current problem in their community as of late."
Po:... Aren't you related to Master Lizard?
Master Xiyi: Indeed I am, Dragon Warrior, and I must thank you for freeing him from Kai's control. (Southerner voice) And I reckon I should thank ya for it with a big lunch for it, partner! (Back to formal voice) But I trust you already have the Winter Feast in mind. He lives not too far from here in Yunnan-Fu.
Shifu: That's Kunming in modern worlds, by the way.
Kowalski: I was gonna say that!
Shifu: "I know. That's why I gave the short verson of your needlessly long explanation."
Kolwalski: "..... Hurtful."
Sandy: Aw don't take it personally Kolwalski, I have a problem with over-explaning things at times too. Well, at least this mission seems to be building the status of the minor masters mentioned in the third movie. All we need to do now is establish Master Ram, Master Rat, Master Eagle, Emperor Hawk, and that's about all we can-
Po: I mentioned Master Eagle's Blade of Bao Ding which he used well since he defeated it's original Eagle owner, Bao Ding, and his son and successor currently lives in what is Hong Kong in modern worlds, and is actually one of the masters that defended Baron Hseih's egg before I did as a close friend... Right before I got amnesia, by the way, and even babysat him once or twice when he hatched. Ram lives in Zhengzhou as the son of one of it's royal guards, and did well in ridding it from evil, including the evil Monsoon Owls of Jifēng Mountain, using his Gate Smasher to utterly punch them all the way back to their mountain. Master Rat lead an entire army to stop an evil musician Pai Ding from turning his rat home into slaves for a massive heist, and held his own against the biggest of villains, and the rat bandits we fought before were from a nearby home. And Emperor Hawk? Let's just say he was one of the mixed-species Emperors that ran Guangxi Province, and uses his crazily-durable Battle Rickshaw to plow through the Hive Invasion Stronghold of the Hornet Lords Ci Riben and Sha Si Mao and their Killer-Bee-Like Bred Hornet Army of Yiqun Valley, resisting every single hazardous and deadly sting inflicted upon him from the hybrid army! And that was only one of his fairly DECENT achievements. So yeah, there you go.
Sandy:... Thanks, alot, Po!
Po: Don't mention it.
Big Blood: (Goofy laughs) I like the panda!
Xiyi: Now, then, to be honest, I'm helping you because, let's be honest, my home here has been given a BAD name by the parents of the swimmers the Xixue Ranchers had, bothered, leech instinct or not. MANY of them provide blood for us in my cousin's blood drive. But since they scare swimmers in the Mekong River, it's threatened my cousin's way of life dearly. (Southern voice) And he's RIGHT UP MY DING-DONG-LONG TAIL, to fix it! (Formal Voice) I had to do something, or my Kung Fu master relative would no doubt look at me with dishonor. (Southener voice) It's strings***, (Formeral voice again) and it needs to be fixed. Funny thing, I was unable to contact you guys since the messengers of this area are not as good as the expensive ones that the legendary Kweng works for. Thank Yinglong you managed to get here, and thank him MORE for the fact that this yellow pony managed to talk some sense into these guys. (Southener voice) They ain't good with first impressions.
Icky: "We usually have the same problem with fellow heroes and enemy of the weeks alike. It's cool."
Fluttershy: Well, we're doing this entire area a favor, and we have a LOT on our plate now. Stopping a trade route invasion, making waters safer to swim in, all in the hopes that this will help us find the Chi-Tanuki Valley of Zhanzheng.
Xiyi: (Still in Southener voice) Oh, don't get me started on those reclsues. (Formal voice) I met one of their inhabitants once, but unfortunately, I promised her I'd be one of the people here who keep their location a secret. (Southener voice) Especially in light of their white wolf Chi parasite problem. I understand that she-mutt has issues.
Fluttershy: And we seek to correct THAT as well. They have the info we need to find Master Hai Hoi.
Xiyi:... (Still in Southener voice) WOW! You guys DO have a lot on your plate. And what preytell does seeking out Hai Hoi is worth to y'all?
Pang Bing: Stopping one of the evil remnants of the Lu Kai Imperial name. Since my magic corruption, I not only redeemed myself, and defeated my corrupter in the Land of Prosperity, but now I'm seeking to defeat the relative of my past tormentor, at first by seeking to conquer myself through Hai Hoi's teachings.
Xiyi:... (Still In Southener Voice And the plate just got into monstrously-obese-capable territories. (Formal voice) Yes, the Lu Kai name seems to be renowned here, considering what their second descendant did to you, Ms. Pang Bing. Your story seems to stretch all across China.
Ducky: So, you'll help us?
Xiyi: I will do what I can. But please know that not all of the Highwaymen are scared of the Xixue Ranchers. Their leader, Oriental Claw, is one of them that holds an absolute 'show no fear or pain' philosophy, AND he has a Chi Knight from the Himalayas who has scared even Big Blood here. The infamous Himalayan Vulture knight known as Bing Dou.
Big Blood: YIPE!!! (He jumps into the water)
Xiyi:... As deminstraighted.
Fluttershy:... A leech as big as him is scared by a vulture?
Xiyi: Again, he's a Chi Knight, and among the best Oriental Claw can afford, especially when his family descended from the guards of HIS Chi blacksmith family. He's dangerous to even the Xixuegui family. So, do know that, given his best spy is a water beetle named Kunch, he may have been watching your progress, and this place MAY be attacked by him.
Mekong:... I thought I had this suspition of being watched.
Sandy: Eh, it's nothing a little elbow grease can't handle.
Xiyi: "(Back to southener voice) I recimend against getting cocky, little missy. Bing is almost at the same level as the Uniter. His family were powerful chi masters. But sadly, they're done considered disgraces because of Bing's black sheep of an uncle in the form of the Desert Vulture Leader of those vulture thieves from the Gobi Desert."
Po: "You mean Sin Don? Well, we pretty much defeated him and now he's being sent to Sure Gom with the rest of the Vultre Bandits."
Xiyi: "(Formal voice again) But keep in mind that it takes more then even this news to mend that Knight's broken heart. He must be defeated in a duel of honor before he would ever consider recinding his already troubled loyalty to The Oriental Claw."
Judy: "If he's so honorable, why is he working with criminals?"
Xiyi: "The first one would be that their family lines are friends and that they sympathies their ills..... But a greater one is because.... The Oriental Claw saved Bing's life from certain death by a vengeful demon warlord from Bing's family's past."
Deadpool: "Ohhh, another flashback! (Pulls out a large pile of snacks from nowhere) AND CUE THE WAVY FLASHBACK EFFECT?!"
Wavy Flashback Wave
(Xiyi): "The Bing family were famed protecters of China as Chi Knights when the demons of the underworld became rampant during the Chi drought. Among those demons they defeated, was the Jio Don Darkness Demon. A living relic of when the Dragon Gods fought terrible demons when creating the world we live in after it's basic foundations were made by the Wu Di Instruments."
(Po): "Wait, you mean, the Dragon Gods fought the Yaoguai?"
(Xiyi): "Correction...... They fought the creations of the Yaoguai designed to do their battle. They were called "Yaoguaispawn", Spawn of the Yaoguai. And The Jio Don beast was one of the worse creations. Even the strongest Dragon Gods were overwealmed by this unrelenting beast. It took the heroic Bing Family, the first of the line, to first defeat it. They has since formed a great nemesis in the pride-riddled monster, and was originally banished in the Underworld like many other demons and corrupted Dragon Gods. But when the Chi Drought happened because of magic discrimination meeting a dark, logical conclusion, the demons lead by one such fallen Dragon God, Ke-Pa, lead an invasion of darkness to resume the Yaoguai's bidding, if not just their own ambitions beforehand. And the Jio Don beast was not an exception. It quickly soughted after the Bings, but they proved pure enough to avoided the curse, and still prove too great for him. The Jio Don and the Bings have fought each other for many generations, The Jio Don and the Bings becoming equally matched each time. It outlasted even Ke-Pa's invasion and Jio Don ending up being one of many left-behind demons yet to be banished, which included the Skinless Demons, and the infamous warlord demon, Xi'an."
(Shifu): "Your welcome by the way, because I long took care of those sickening abominations, and I had stopped Xi'an twice."
(Xiyi): "Yes, but that infomation is irrelevant. But Jio Don sensed a weakness in one of the Bings.... The adopted non-Himalayan vulture Sin Don. Sin Don was a weak-minded fool and a self-servicing joke to the family name. He ended up being perfect for the Jio Don to control, especially when he disobeyed their orders to try and prove his worth by destroying him himself."
A towering Demon turned into mist and possessed Sin Don!
(Xiyi): "With the weak idiot in his control, and because of the fact that he lead him to the Bing Family Temple, he used his tainted Chi powers to cursed the Bing family to be trapped as jade statues that only Sin Don can reverse, and sadly, he can't because he was processed by the demon, and by grounds, can't remember what he did. And he aimed to do the same to a weaken Bing Dou, until Claw, known by his real name of Zhao Ding at the time, rescued him, and freed his idiot uncle from Jio Don, with aide of The Oriental Claw's greatest weapon: The Onyx Wrist Claws Of Godly Might!" (He used said weapons against him as he clawed into Sin Don's soul, and ripped out the evil demon as it caused him to die gruesomely upon Oriental Claw's Onyx Wrist Claws, as he disappeared in thin air)... After the rescue... Well... Let's just say it didn't end well for both vultures. You see, Sin Don was scolded by Bing for the fact that he deliberately disobeyed their orders to not go after Jio Don, which was the most dishonorable thing to do in their eyes, especially with the results it caused. And with him being unable to fix the curse due to his loss of memories, and for the fact that said lost memories included everything he did upon attempted disobedience, he was appalled by their accusation, and it got pretty violent. But when the curse was unable to be reversed because of Jio Don's defeat and the info being lost forever, Bing turned him into the authorities, where they sentenced him to banishment to Mongolia. But it wasn't high hopes for Bing either. He hated having to do such a thing to his own uncle, and thus, despite Oriental Claw saying he had no choice, he left for the Himalayas in isolation and became the last Chi Knight destined to carry on his legacy as the last Bing, having his family Temple moved there as well. And he offers his services to Oriental Claw at any time in gratitude for his rescue.
Present
Xiyi: So you see, Bing is of a dead legacy because his adopted uncle made the mistake of making the entire family targets and made them permanently jade statues. Bing tried for years to bring them back, but Jio Don's curse on them was just too strong. Thus, he gave up all hope, and used their weaponry to honor their legacy... By doing irksome things with it.
Mantis: Why the junk would he do that?
Xiyi: Wouldn't you do the same if YOUR family was turned permanently to jade, and you had a lot of doubt and ruin?
Mantis:... I see what you mean.
Xiyi: So you see Bing and Claw have helped each other out for years. Though Bing wasn't around in EVERY raid, Oriental Claw only called him as a last resort or when necessary. And Sin Don ended up turning into the evil bandit servant for the descendant of Genghis Khan you know him as today.
Po:... Aw, man.
Xiyi: "(Southener voice again) I know, that is a pits! (Formal voice) It's a shame this would happen to anyone."
Icky: "..... Well, like you said. We beat this guy in a duel, he'll stop palling around with Claw-Boy."
Xiyi: "(Southener voice) Well like I plum told ya'll! He's nearly the same level as even your uniter friend! You have to be ABOVE AND BEYOND to beat him in his own game! His Chi Knight family were like that because they fought hellspawn for a living! Nothing makes a man out of you like defeating a denizen of hell!"
Trixie: "Ok, seriously, are you constently gonna jump between voices or are you gonna stick to one, because I fail to take you seriously whe you jump from formal to yokel in a blink of an eye!"
Xiyi: (Sighs) Fine! It's just that the people here have the same problem. They can't take me seriously unless I have their customs and others. But for the sake of the Mekong River, I'll take this seriously. You see, if you want to stop Oriental Claw, you need to know his strategy. And in order to get that, you need to consult either Kunch or Bing. And since Kunch is too hard to spot, you'll have to choose Bing when he attacks.
Sandy: Eh, it's okay. We can stay here for a while until he gets here. And good thing, because I haven't changed since we got here. (She takes off her shoes and dips her bare feet in the water as many of them did the same) There any private areas where we can take a bath?
Xiyi: Why wouldn't there be? Just head out to the northwest borders, and you'll find a place of clear waters and a few geysers.
Big Blood: Yeah, and you need it because, you kinda smell. I mean, worse than us.
Patrick: You might wanna blame her species. It kinda smells like that even after a sho-
Sandy: DO NOT BRING THAT UP, PLEASE! That incident with your nose was pretty embarrassing. Let's just go. I need this fur and skin bath desperately.
Mimi: We are feeling a little filthy, too. Let's head out. (They did so)
Fluttershy:... Thanks for this, Big Blood.
Big Blood: Don't mention it, cutie. (She blushes in embarrassment)
Rainbow Dash: Uh, she's a little sensitive about that. Has a little flirt history, so be careful with calling her 'cute' or anything similar. (They left)
Xiyi:... (In Hillbilly accent) Colorful characters. If we're lucky, they can entertain us greatly when protecting us.
Big Blood: Shoo' right! They're pretty damn funny even when we're trying to razzle 'em.
Xiyi:... It's 'rustle', BB.
Big Blood:... OH, DAMN THOSE PRO-
Himalayas
Kunch: (He arrives at the Bing Temple as it was covered in massive amounts of snow and ice, turning it into a run-down place)... (Sighs)... Unfortunate that I have to see this once-proud place turned into an iced-over wreck. (He enters)... (Clears throat)... BING DOU! (He sees the jade statues of what was once the Bing family, as he was shocked at their shocked and panicked expressions, until he finally confronted Bing Dou) WHOA!
Bing Dou:... Kunch! I trust you're here because Zhao has another job for me?
Kunch: Sir, I think he'd prefer you call him by his new name.
Bing Dou: Sorry, but I cannot take him seriously anymore with a name like that, so I can't help but address him with the name he had when he rescued me.
Kunch:... At least you know to address him with his new name in his presence. But yes, he has a new mission for you. It's the Xixue River Ranchers. Apparently, the renowned Shell Lodgers have arrived with the masters of the Jade Palace, including the-
Bing Dou: Dragon Warrior. Been waiting for a chance to meet the albeit retarded savior of China. Saw visions of him defeating Pang Bing and her corrupter as of recent. Their holiday has been wrecked so much, it looks like the adventure took 3-4 months to explain in an episode adaptation.
Kunch:... (Sighs) Well, then I suppose you already know.
Bing Dou: No. I took some time off my meditation after the anniversary of my tragedy a few days ago. Mourned for quite a while... (He softly sobs before sobering up)... So, given these leech hillbillies posing a good threat to his friends, I suppose it's understandable why you'd send me to go to their swamp and deal with them. I nearly slayed Big Blood, his father, and his evil grandfather.
Kunch: Well, his grandfather has been in Chorh-Gom for years. But he and his father are still there, and Oriental Claw possibly wants you to take care of them.
Bing Dou:... It shouldn't be a problem then. I nearly killed them, after all.
Kunch looks guilty and morally conflicted....
Kunch: ".... Ya know, you, don't have to, ACTSELLY kill them. I'm sure, Zhao would appresiate if you at least, render the Ranchers too afraid to help the heroes and make scare tactics. It'll be just as effective, and Zhao wouldn't have to worry about the Ranchers either way. Course, even then, the Lougers have very little ability to change Diao's mind about actual confronting against the River Highwaymen, among other things, and-"
Bing Dou: "Don't think I'm not aware of the fact that you are not comfertable of this life choice of being a spy for Zhao."
Kunch: "..... Well, to say I'm not proud is, a bit excessive. It's just, my family used to enjoy a more honorable partner ship with the Oriental Claw family. But ya know, the Chi Drought happened... (Looks at a jaded Vulture)... Among, other things, and..... He felt awful about how he THINKS everyone would hate Chi Weapon Smiths for what is clearly the fault of one bad emperor."
Bing Dou: "His fears, are not entirely inaccreate, Kunch. Whether or not they supported the cause, the Chi Weapon Smiths still made weapons that encouraged the near-destruction of magic. It would not be surprising to know that mistrust and hatred to them because of encouraging discriminators and madmen and supplying them weapons, would lead to their families being ashamed of themselves. I blame not Zhao's ill-advised choice to be a criminal..... I just hope he goes back to being the otter I remember."
Kunch: "(Quietly).... You and me both."
Bing Dou: "..... But all the same.... Very well.... I'll take your advice and scare the Ranchers from maintaining any loyalty to the heroes. But.... Be sure to make Zhao aware that even with my power, I can't guarantee it would overall deter the misfits. They have faced forces that even Jio Don would look lesser in comparison to. And I have seen the vision on how they defeated my bastard uncle and his Mongolian Boss, even at only half of their power. Even without the Ranchers, Zhao still has to contend with them."
Kunch: "Fair enough, though, he already plans to do that much after you got the Ranchers off. Good luck. And be very careful around their strongest. Esepically the Uniter-"
Bing Dou: "I know. I saw in my visions what she is capable off, even ignoring recent events. I'll come and go in a blink of an eye, like the winds of the Himalayas."
Bing Dou got up and leaves.
Kunch: "Well, they're fast too, so- (Turns to look at Bing and he was already gone)..... That always gets to me!"
Lodger Van, Xixue Swamp
Sandy: Well, I have to admit, maybe thinking ahead on this whole hygiene event didn't work out well. We've had to put a lot of the heroes in a time-out with Pervis because of peeking issues. SpongeBob especially since, even if he did find his way to me, he still liked me wet.
Deadpool: (Scoffs) Well, duh! You live underwater, so why the f*** no- (Sandy puts him into an embarrassing pose)... Me and my big mouth!
Tulio: You think him peeking on you is bad? You haven't seen his Internet history. He has a LOT to m********e to on you besides that.
Sandy: (Sighs) Males!
Mimi: Exactly! The geysers were nice and relaxing, but it exposes us too much. For Pete's sake, this is a kid's... Or, at least teenage... Show, damn! Why does stuff like this happen?
Spyro: Give the producers some credit for not even showing it. Now, let's not waste time. With them in a time-out until we finish protecting the swamp and me acting as the temporary leader, let's see if we can come up with a plan.
Shenzi: Yeah.
Gazelle: Well, if the two weren't always the criminals they are now, it's possible that they CAN be convinced out of this.
Xiyi: "Yes, but the best chance for that is to defeat them both in a duel. Words can only go so far with even Bing. Remember that this is a place that mostly understands might and force over diplomacy and reason.... Because, well, might and force is usually considered diplonicy in China. Nothing discourages future threats by being stronger then a threat. Keep in mind that, we're a very ancient world."
Gazelle: As i had seen. And with Pang in the brig as a result of... Me overlooking her pansexual disorder, we need to do it without our teamwork. I can't exactly do everything for you as I feel you rely on me a little too much. If Bing is even only nealy as strong as me, we need a new approach besides me going all out on him.
(SpongeBob): (From the brig) WELL, PANG SAID YOU COULD ALWAYS SURROUND HIM ON ALL SIDES BY SURROUNDING THE BORDERS OF THE SWAMP, AND OVERWHELM HIM IN A BLITZCRYGUE!!
(Pang Bing): BLITZKRIEG!!
(SpongeBob): WHAT SHE SAID!!
Sandy: NO ONE ASKED YOU, SPONGEBOB!! JUST SHUT UP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!!
Gazelle: Actually, Ms. Cheeks, they make a good, but only slim, point. As an aerial animal, he can be watching us from above, and see us planning ahead, and plan around it. We need to do it without having him see it coming.
Xiyi: She has a good point there. He'll be expecting us to plan things out. Hell, because he' a Chi master, he has the ability to see visions, and thus is likely to be watching us here at this very moment.
Shifu: Indeed. The highest Chi Masters have so much psychometric powers, they could make Savio's planning skills and avoidance of obstacles look tame by comparison.
Savio: Hurtful, yet true, I presume.
Kaa: So what do we do then?
Xiyi: Well, all we can do is expect him to come and make the best of it. I'm perfectly capable of combat myself since my family uses naginatas for it.
Po:... Nagi-naga-what?
Xiyi: A Japanese staff with a blade on top.
Po: Oh, I knew what your relative's weapon looked like, I just didn't place the name.
Xiyi:.... Quite.
(Pang Bing): THEN JUST USE YOUR MAGIC TO TRY AND OBSCURE HIS CHI SENSES AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! CAN'T MAGIC AND CHI COUNTERACT EACH OTHER?!?
Gazelle:... Hmm... Mayfly, is that true?
Mayfly: Well, considering the Chi Drought, I'd say so. Perhaps obscuring his psychometric Chi powers CAN help you get your blitzkrieg plan perfectly. But since he's already seen us talk about it, we need to do it differently.
Gricky: Eh, I'm sure that ain't a problem.
Ducky: Yep-yep-yep. Planning is what we do.
Big Blood: And one thing, yall' may wanna stay barefoot like we do. Having shoes can hinder fighting in a swamp of sentient animals since you can accidentally step on those that are submerged and not even feel it in time. You can thank snake fighters for even coming up with said strategy since... Well... They have been the most victims of said accidents.
Po: Why do you think some of us from this world wear sandals for that?
Big Blood: Besides the point.
Sandy: Well, I guess we have a plan then! Let's stop yappin, and start vulture trappin- (A gurgling voice was heard along with a splooging noise was heard from SpongeBob)... SPONGEBOB, DID YOU TAKE MY 'THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DONE' COMMENT INTO CONTEXT AGAIN?!?
(Icky): BALLS YEAH HE DID!! AND IT'S EVERYWHERE!!! AND MY STOMICH CONTENTS ARE ABOUT TO JOIN IN AND MAKE EVERYTHING WOR- (Vomiting was heard)
(Pervis): GET US OUTTA HERE!!! (Craziness was heard inside as Sandy sighed and face-palmed herself)
Twilight:... Hey, look on the bright side. At least it'll makes them forget the incident faster? (Nervious laughter.)
Sandy: Uhhh.... A gross but, good point.
Twilight: "Well like I once said about Spike's trick with his tongue. Very effictent.... And alittle bit gross."
Central Xixue Swamp
Xixuegui:... Well, I guess such a plan could work. But are you sure yall' ain't underestimating Bing's intelligence?
Po: "Hey, it may not nessersarly be a perfect plan, but it's better then letting Bing come here and scare these guys into cowerdice.... or worse."
Sandy: (Among the others barefoot through Big Blood's consent) And know that we're all prepared. Big Blood suggested those of us without sandals leave our shoes at the van so we won't end up stepping on some of the residents here. Admittedly, feels nice, and we may have to wash them afterwards, but if it helps prevent any accidental casualties and only play in Bing's favor, then we'll risk it.
Xixuegui: Well, yeah, it's true, so I'll give you credit for that. So, what's your plan?
Shifu: We may have to ask you to play along the whole way because if we told you, Bing might pick it up with his visions.
Xixuegui:... Very well.
Xiyi: But don't worry, Mr. Xixuegui, we'll be there for you every step of the way. (Takes out a naginata)
Xixuegui: Alright. Let's hope you can live up to your name and do this.
Shrek: Trust me, sir. We'll unleash a can of whoopass on him, and make him spill everything he knows.
Xixuegui: Let's hope you can find a can opener. (The leeches in the water did this)
Ohhhhh vine
Deadpool: "Okay, seriosuly, WHEN THIS SHOW TURNED INTO A MEME FACTORY?!"
Shrek: "The same way it also started to over-reference Anime Abridgements. It just happens."
Donkey: Yeah, now let's all get our toes out of the muck, and get our asses into gear!
Deadpool: Whatever you say, ASS! (They broke up)
Donkey:... Hmmph! Speciesist!
Meanwhile...
Bing Dou: (He was nearing the Swamp's location as he used Chi-like abilities to navigate and find his target location)... (He lands on a giant tree and searches, until he finds a familiar swamp line)... Chessmate! (He flies off)
The Village
Kun Lao: (As they spot him)... (Whispering) Here he comes! (The people alert themselves as Bing Dou landed)
Bing Dou:... Kun Lao, your former highness.
Kun Lao: Hello, Bing Dou!
Bing Dou: You know what I'm here for. Where are your heroes hiding in their little 'blitzkrieg' plan?
Kun Lao: We're not going to allow your friend to do this to the people of Vietnam, Laos, Siam, and Cambodia. They need this, and the least you can do is use these powers to talk some sense into Zhao.
Bing Dou: Believe me, I tried. But he's said his mind was made up. The least I can do is oblige him for saving my life.
Kun Lao: Helping him with nefarious purposes is not a good way to repay him, Bing. You must do better than that.
Bing Dou: I did. But he's strongly insistent on his goals. Now, last chance, where are the heroes and their leech compatriots?
Kun Lao: If you want to know, you'll have to fight me first.
Bing Dou:... Very well, then. I'll gladly-
???: AND ME! (Xiyi appeared with his naginata)
Bing Dou:... Ah, yes, the relative of Master Lizard who runs this disgusting swamp. But don't think that two will be enough to-
???: AND ME! (Po arrived)
Bing Dou:... Well... Even with the Dragon Warrior, you'll still be no match for-
???: AND ME! (Master Shifu came in)
Bing Dou:... Again, that won't make a di-
???: AND ME!
Bing Dou: Ohhh, for the love of glories.... (Gazelle came in)... Well... So much for avoiding the Uniter. And I guess considering your new apprentice of a cat is in time out with the rest of your perverted friends, you shouldn't be a problem to handle.
Gazelle:... Okay, you saw THAT, too?!?
Bing Dou: Every single thing. Even ones I would've, rather not have seen.
Gazelle: AY DIOS MIO, MAN, THOSE WERE PRIVATE MOMENTS! Seriously, did your family ever teach you to not use powers like that to look into private matters?
Bing Dou: I only did so inadvertingly because I thought you were serious heroes..... I mean no disrespect, but.... Seriously, Pang Bing and the Mothron Warlock, lost to you people? That clearly looks to be more humiliating then losing to the power of love, espeically if your powers are usually dependent of absorbing it.
Leage Fortress.
Hades: "(To Chrysalis' face) BURN?!"
Chrysalis: "You do that again, AND I'LL BUCK YOU BACK INTO YOUR WORLD'S TARTARUS?!"
Hades: "(Does a "Look out, we got a badass" pose).... Owchie Babba."
The Village.
Shifu: "Well, if you can't help Zhao, then you might as well leave it to someone who can, like us. Just tell us what we need to know, and we can stop this meaningless fight."
Bing Dou: And pay him back through betrayal? That is not honorable of me. Now, if you're done wasting time, I have a job to do here. And I am going to do it right. So if you're going to prolong things... (He arms himself and gets ready for combat)... Then I will not be held respondsable for breaking a vow to Kunch about not taking any lives.
Po: Oh, so a promise to a clearly tainted friend is worth keeping, but a promise of a clearly still good friend is dependent on who gets in your way? That is dangeriously double-standerd.
Bing Dou: That's besides the point, imbacile!
Po: But it is!
Bing Dou:... So many of the most sinful of China and beyond, lost to you? It would fail to surprise me that alot of them are banging their heads against the wall to know this.
Leage fortess, again.
Tai Lung, Junjie, and Scorpian are doing exactly that!
Team Nefarious station.
Taotie was banging his head on the wall, to the annoyence of Bian Zao who rolled his eyes at this.
Scourge Imperial Palace.
Meng Tao, Zhou Dan, and Hundun are banging their heads at the wall.
Shur Gom.
Every single prisoner, canon or SAF introdused, are banging their heads against the wall.
Van.
Pang Bing was banging her head against the wall of the time-out chamber.
Pervis: "..... Why're y'all doing that?"
Pang Bing: "..... Because I started out as a villain who lost to the Panda."
Pervis: "..... Decent point."
Pang Bing resumed her head-banging on the wall.
Shen's location.
Lord Shen was banging his head against a tree.
Boss Wolf: ".... Sir, that defeat hasn't been relivent for years, and Po's cool with us now."
Lord Shen: "Let me have this, Boss Wolf. That defeat is still among my most humiliating downfalls, whether I'm reformed or otherwise."
Lord Shen resumed as Boss Wolf sighed.
The Main Focus location.
Gazelle: (Sighs) Po, DON'T provoke him!
Po: But it's true!
Bing Dou:... Annnnnd we're just about done here. (Charges up with chi and attacks, the fighting heroes dodged quickly as Bing Dou went after them!)
DBZ-Super Namek Theme
Little Foot: (As the heroes were seen in hidden areas)... So, do we attack yet?
Shenzi: Not yet. We need to wait for the signal from Gazelle. If we get too close, he may sense us.
Gricky: Well, they'd best get'ir done and hurry up! My artritis is acting up and my back can't stand prolonged standing up.
Sandy: Just be patient, Gricky. We have to hold out in the last possible second. If they have him weakened enough, we'll be there to finish the job.
Leech: (On her feet) Are you sure this'll work?
Sandy: (Standing on top of the highest waterfall) Trust me! You guys and your leech family will soon know when it's time to play your part. With your near-invisibility in the water, you will surely play well in said part. Now please get off, it's starting to tickle.
Leech: Oh, sorry. (She shakes him off as he slithers away) Oh, speaking of that, Big Blood forgot to specify about the foot thing. You run the risk of being tickled because, feet are very sensitive. So keep an eye on your feet, because with a guy like Kunch possibly around, THAT... Could be a problem. Kunch could do that to you and POSSIBLY blow your cover.
Sandy:... (Sighs) Guess he's right in more ways than one. (Shivers) Everyone keep an eye out for anyone willing to use this tactic against us.
Puss: We will! And I am ready to throw down when you all are.
Kaa: Yes, he is going to face us soon enough.
Squidward: Let's hope he's distracted enough to not hear our conversation.
Spyro: He is. Just hold your ground until you get the signal. (The five continued fighting him)
Po: (As he spin-kicked Bing) HA-HAH!
Xiyi: Did you just spin kick him?
Po: I know, right? I've always wanted to do that.
Gazelle: PLEASE don't do it again! I kinda feel uncomfertable seeing your fat jiggle about when you do that. It's like hairy jello!
Po: MY KUNG FU, MY RULES! (Bing kicked him after grabbing his foot, sending him face-first into the water) (Gurgling) AW, DAMMIT!!!
Bing Dou: I expected better from you, Dragon Warrior! Well, at least a far cry from something more akin to a court jester. You litterally even once defeated a fallen dragon god! The one that started the demon uprising, Ke-Pa no less! You even defeated Kai, one of the most infamous exsamples of Chi Parasites known to Kung Fu and Chi Mastery alike! And yet an agigng old bird like myself, proves difficult?
Po: "(Spits out water and a panicing fish!) To be fair, this is my first time fighting you! I always start out fighting bad guys by having some difficulty!"
Bing Dou: "Fair point. But I am not an oppondent were you can afford many mistakes. To coin the words of a smart-alick: I play for keeps. When I started or get into fights, I finish them absolutely. And whether or not your one of China's greatest heroes, if not also the United Universes, this battle will not be much different."
Bing Dou fired a chi beam from his wings.
Gazelle got in front of Po and sheilded the attack from Bing Dou!
Bing Dou: "Ahh. I take it you wish to deminstraight your power as well. Well go ahead. Prove to me that you certainly are worthy of the claim of defeating some very powerful evils, if not even greater!"
Gazelle: (She throws her Uniter Blade at him as he easily reflects it back as the energy burst with maximum power, the blade returning back to her)... Is THAT any better?
Bing Dou:... Admittedly, yes... But how's about a taste of your own medicine? (He throws his swords at the same effect as Gazelle was pushed into a tree by the impact with a burst in Chi energy)... (The swords returned to him) You see? I was meant to defeat people like you. Granted, mainly the kind of elderich, love-craftian, nightmarish edgelord demons that can even make Darkspawn blush, but still. My family's ansistery had aided in taking down rouge Uniters and Dark Uniter's once or twice. it's all thanks to our battle against demons that we even earned that right to battle uniters of fallen or dark catagories. My speed, my stamina, my strength, and my power rival yours. In comparison to you, I am a demigod!
Gazelle:... De Verdad?
Bing Dou: Believe me, I am not one who kids about this sort've thing like a self-rightious fool who glouts how powerful he is.... Intentionally. I at least have the power to justify my words.
Gazelle: Well, let's see how you fare against my TRUE power! (She turns into her Uniter Princess Attire)
Bing Dou:... Impressive attire. The Uniter Princess Avatar Wardrobe is quite befitting of you.
Gazelle: Gracias. But now it's time for you to back that claim on how your family did once or twice fought against Rouge and/or Dark Uniters. ONDELE! (They did so as the music continued to play)
Lord Shen:... Seems Gazelle wants to finish this quickly.
Boss Wolf: Hells yeah!
Cynder: But let's see how this plays out just in case.
Skipper: Well, they'd BETTER hurry on up! You know what's great about waiting around like this? ABSOLUTELY GODDAMN NOTHING!!!
Kowalski: Just be patient, Skipper! We need to ensure that we catch Bing off guard.
Bing Dou: "(While fighting Gazelle) Be made aware that even IF you have surpassed me, it'll only be a small victory. Zhao is smarter then what anyone has rightfully credited him as so. He would know that you misfits would surpass exceptations and congure me in a way that even I with my power could not prevent. So, even as we speak, he has desided to move his raid ahead of the usual time and right now is already on his way to raid that village's reshorces and the tradeable items. Only now, Zhao would aim to make sure that the residents are perimently discouraged from taking your suggestions seriously, by destroying the market where it stands. And with the same weapon he used to slay a demon AND destroy an imperial fortress. The Wrist Blades of Godly Might. It'll be bad enough that Diao will blame you all for ever trying to inspire hope in these people, only to be reminded of Zhao's power."
Gazelle: "..... HE, WOULDN'T, DARE?!"
Bing Dou: "I wish to say I was just trying to demoralise you, but, remember my vision capability. This, sadly, is exactly what Zhao is planning. In his eyes, his only solution to maintain absolute control is to destroy that village's livelyhood, and in the progress, make them be more fearful around heroes for whatever they promise. Please know that I'm hurt he is going this way, but, this is an otter who grew afraid of the people's hatred for the Chi Weapon Smiths that he believes they'll hate and fear him reguardless of what he does, so he fails to see the usefulness of being anything but what he is now."
Gazelle:... THAT CLEVER SLIPPERY SON OF A BITCH!!!
Sandy: (Hearing everything) Oh, s***! He's right. We may be compromised. Let's just get down there and- (Kunch ended up tickling her feet as she laughed and ended up falling out of cover with a Wilhelm scream and fell head-first into water, and went back up for air)..... How exactly did I pull a Whilhelm scream when I was a girl?
Sound guy: "Sorry, the sound effect box is on the fritz. It makes random sound effects happen in unfitting places. We're getting a repair guy down here soon."
Sandy: ".... Well that's one thing."
Sound Guy: That, and considering the 'scream like a girl' cliché, it makes sense that it adds comedic effect.
Sandy:... That's not untrue.
Kunch: I exposed their stragity, Bing. And thanks for distracting them with that revelation so I can get to one of them to expose it.
Bing Dou: Thank you and you're welcome, Kunch. You were a valuable ally.
Sandy: (Shrugs) You dirty cheater!
Skipper: "And when ever have bad guys been known for their sportsmenship?"
Sandy: "DON'T TEST ME, SKIPPER?!"
Gazelle: Ay dios mio, it's too soon for this, but I have to do it now! ATTACK! (All the heroes attacked, and they nevertheless managed to overwhelm him in less than a minute)
Shifu: Alright, everyone! Our plan has been compromised!
Fluttershy: Why?!? WHY DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING?!?
Bing: You were fairly warned that Zhao was no easy feat. It only makes ineditable sense that even the greatest of heroes, even of your caliber, are made to look like fools and failures.
Applejack: Uh, Fluts, I can't believe I'm saying it, but I think we'd need your animal-based rages again- (Fluttershy took off with a few leeches screaming)... Wow, she is stronger than we give her credit for.
Twilight: Guys, we'll help her. You deal with Bing, and meet up with us as soon as we can. (They teleported away)
Lord Shen:... Alright, you giant birdbrain, you'd better spill everything you know before I shave your feathers off entirely!!!
Bing: You can't threaten me into talking so easily. Especially since I am a Chi Knight. I have grown numb to threats when I am at the merciless grip of a demon that nearly succeeded in taking down my entire bloodline. Nothing fazes me anymore. Besides.... Compaired to my weapons, yours are cheap toys! (He pulls out a chi-sword and shatters Shen's blade with it)
Lord Shen:... F***!!!
Shifu: Okay, enough of this! I've had all I can stand with all this! And I can't stand no more. Bing, I know you disapprove of this life of crime considering your pasts. But it's NOT something to be taken in vain. You can still do better things than this. You're the best we have to stop Oriental Claw from doing this. You're putting the famine lives at the end of the river at stake because of it. Is this REALLY worth sacrificing innocent people's lives?
Bing Dou: ".... Even though you speak true, I am bound to honor by this because Zhao saved my life. That will only changed if I am defeated in a duel of honor."
Shifu: "THEN IT'S VERY WELL TIME, YOU ARE RELIEVED OF THIS SERVICE, THOUGH THIS DUEL?! AS MASTER OF THE JADE PALACE, I AND THE SHELL LOUGERS CHALLNAGE YOU TO A DUEL OF HONOR?! IF YOU LOSE, BY HONOR YOU MUST FORSAKE THE ORIENTAL CLAW?!"
Bing Dou: "Risky, but honor said I must accept the terms. But you must accept the terms of your own defeat, that you and all who assusiate with you, must never return to this river again. These terms cannot be renegosiated."
Shifu: "(Calms down)...... Very well. Both terms are accepted."
Bing Dou; "Good. But we must do this in a Duel of Honor acceptable arena. And my temple HAS such a place."
Bing Dou summoned huge chi dragons that take the heroes in the area and teleported away from the swamp!
The Bing Family Temple Arena.
The Group appeared in the place and are shocked to see the jaded statues of his family.
Gazelle: "(Gasp)!..... That poor thing."
Po: ".... I guess it's not hard to see why Bing Dou was so quick to aide The Oriental Claw. Jio Don could've redused him to, this."
Bing Dou: (Appears from the shadows from a green chi light).... Exactly. So, let us begin the duel of honor. And know this, my friends, this will go MY way, and MY way only. You have no say in this. This arena is a sacred place, of which my family had fought in for centuries, and as such, their energy has radiated itself into the arena itself. Yes, it's rendered alittle cold, but it does not affect the arena itself. And know that the only ones who will fight are the ones who challenged me. If any of you try to help, you will forfeit the duel and I will win by default. And I will warn you one last time, the results will NOT be unnegotiable. Do you understand?
Shifu: Yes, sir. We do not need their help, anyway. The Mekong River is our responsibility.
Gazelle: I will gladly have the Lodgers left out of this even if they decide to crack and come in and help. In fact, they will only watch from the Swamp!
Squidward: What did you sa- (They were teleported away, and back to the Swamp as it's center displayed a giant ball of water that showed the fight in the valley)... Why that spanich-speaking help-pushing-wayer from a big fight hornhead!
Duke: (Slaps him) DON'T EVER CALL HER THAT, BIG-NOSE!!! SHE IS IN THE RIGHT TO DO THIS!! It wouldn't be honorable to have us around on the side-lines. So I suggest we all stop being the UUniverses' whiniest Lunchables, nut up, and have faith in Gazelle and the other four!
Sandy: He's right, guys. Let's not make a scene out of this. I have full confidence that they will pull their weight. So if ANYONE tries to aid them, you'll have to answer to Merlin here!
Little Foot:... Yeah, we can deal with that, actually.
Gricky: They'd better not screw this up like those heroes in the brig did! Sheesh, girls can't take a bath in peace! Eyeballin' us like a rump roast!
Boss Wolf: Hey, at least you were too old to drool to, lady- (She does embarrassing things to him in just 5 seconds)
Gricky: Don't you back-talk me, muttsky!
Skipper: Ugh, this is lame!
Sandy: (Slaps him) YOU'RE lame! Just let them take care of this! (Feels a leech on her foot as it was the leech from the top of the waterfall)... AND YOU BETTER GET OFF ME BEFORE I STEP ON YOU, YOU FURRY FOOT-FETISHIST!!!
Leech: OKAY! (He scurries off)
Big Blood:... Yeah, that's Jiao. He's taken advantage of the barefoot strategy, and we had him in time-out countless times, so don't look at me! Just focus your eyes on the waterball and hope that those five heroes make it through this!
Gloria: Well, they'd BETTER win this! If they lose, this river's f****d!
Bing Arena.
Bing: (The Super Namek theme played again as the arena was similar to the land of Sly vs. Tsao, only it was covered in snow and ice)... Now then, are you ready?
Po: "Just one last thing! No last minute tricks like, making the jade statues come to life or summoning spirits of your ansisters or any other unfair shit! It's only fair since WE'RE not allowed to relie on our friends, YOU are not allowed to relie on YOUR friends!"
Bing: ".... An unexpected but fair point. This IS a duel of honor. Very well. I'll return the faver and fight all by myself."
Chi Fire appeared around the temple and illuminated what is left of beautiful arcitect of the Bing legacy, along with a glowing chi spirit audience from the spirit world coming from portal like windows coming to watch the fight, from Bing anstery to even great masters of the past.
Po: "HEY?! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE SPIRIT THING?!"
Bing: "I assure you. They are merely spector spectators. They only appear when a duel of honor has been commited in this sacred temple, as we'll be over seen by three judges who will make the final call."
In the Judge area, the Spirits of Oogway, Master Rhino, and Master Sun Bear appeared, along side the Spirit of the Chience Purple Dragon taking the form of a small lizard to not over-size everyone.
Po: "..... HA! We have the judge advantage, Bing! It'll be over quick and easy!"
Bing: "There are rules in place to prevent bias and faverisum in the duels of honor to make sure they judge fairly. They will not be allowed to make desditions based on personal preference, and are abided to the rules of the duel of honor to make their judgement based on who wins."
Po: "...... Meaning-"
Shifu: "They will only faver the winner, even if it's not the right winner. That's always the tradition of these duels."
Po: "..... WELL NOW YOU TELL ME?! Now I look like a dumbass in front of the spirts of the spirt realm!"
Bing: "Enough talk! Shall we proceed to fight now?"
Po: KUNG PHOOEY!! (They attacked)
Bing: I'll assume yes. (They clashed)
Patrick: I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
Banzai: "(To the locals with Mr. Krabs, Tuilo, and Deadpool). Take your bets, take your bets, bet on who will win in the match of the centuary!"
Deadpool: "Those who double their bets will get a heavior reward to those who bet on the would-be winner!"
Mr. Krabs: "Both of these fighters are evenly matched, so anything goes!"
Icky's voice: "AW MAN, I WISH I CAN TAKE A SLICE OF THAT ACTION?!"
Sandy: "WHAT THE, EUGENE, WILSON, TUILO, BANZAI, WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE ALAMO ARE YOU CHOWDER HEADS DOING?!"
Banzai: "Hey, being a chariable hero team doesn't pay the bills, man! So we opened a gambling deal for our battles usually off camera. Icky's usually apart of this, but due to his timeout, we have to promise him a save of the cut."
Sandy: "Please tell me you morons ain't serious."
Miguel was doing dramatic music on his gitar over the fight as Iago and Batty are being announcers!
Batty: "(As steriotypical announcer guy) HEY THERE HI THERE, HO-THERE, FIGHTING FANS?! WE ARE LOOKING AT THE MATCH OF THE CENTUARY!?"
Iago: "(With Announcer voice as well) That's right, McBat, our challnagers, Po, Shifu, Giselle Hornreas, Former Emperor Kun Lao, and Master Xiyi are taking on a long time champion of the Bing Family arena, Bing Dou, for the fate of a river trade route and many impourent items! We're broadcasting live via our early gained chrismas gifted Spydrones so anyone connected to "Louge Tv" can watch the whole thing!"
Sandy: "What in the, are you, for crying out loud!"
Big Blood: "..... Wow, you guys really are silly. (Goofy laughs)...."
Sandy: "..... Hey Blood, wanna help me RAZZLE some idiots?"
Big Blood: "OK!? Uh.... Who?"
Sandy: "Who do you think?"
Mr. Krabs: "..... We'll, give you two the cut of the profits?"
Silence......
Tuilo: "..... (Quietly) I think she bought it-"
Sandy: (As she stomped her foot in the water with a big splash multiple times) I'M NOT GOING TO BE FOOLED BY THAT MILLION-YEAR-OLD TRICK! RUSTLE AWAY!!!
Big Blood: YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWW!!! (As they all screamed)
Bing Arena
Po: PANDA POTHOOOOOOOOOLE!! (He jumped as Bing punched him in the chest) HOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! (He was flung into Gazelle)
Gazelle: (She threw her Uniter Blade, and jumped on it to ride it like a hoverboard as Bing flew across the area, the heroes realizing that their skills were heightened by the radiation and then used it against him as he was chased, then Xiyi used the snow to blur his vision)
Bing: DAAHH!! (He avoided Gazelle, only for her to judu kicked him) OOF! (He fell face-first into the show) PHHHMMMPH!!
Po:... YEAH, THAT HURT, DIDN'T IT?
Bing: (He got himself up) Not as much as the pain I'm about to bring on you, Dragon Warrior!
Shifu: (He kicked him down, and prepared to attack again until Bing caught his foot, and began using him like a weapon) OKAY, THIS, IS, EMBARRASSING!!!
Swamp
Sandy: (As much of the heroes laughed at this)... I'm surrounded by idiots!
Arena
Po: (He lunge-kicked at him with his heightened Chi, and the two created a Chi shockwave when they blocked, and they sparred, as the other four attacked in unison, yet he managed to shrug them off without a sweat)...
Bing: Is that the best you can do? If you're going to do this, don't insult my capabilities.
Kun Lao: Okay, we're clearly not gonna go nowhere with just basic attacks.
Xiyi: (Hillbilly tone) NO S***, SHERLOCK!!
Kun Lao:... (Sighs)
Shifu: But he's right. It's clear we need a new strategy-
Bing: DON'T EXPECT ME TO GIVE YOU A BREAK!! (He attacks)
Shifu: (After they disorientated him for a while)... NOW we can plan ahead!
Bing:... Clever... Move! (He started to slowly heal himself with Chi)
Swamp
Duke: Damn right clever move!!
Arena
Bing: "But trickery will not go far with this! Everyone will only end in my victory!"
Po: (He punched him harder as he wheezed in pain) NOW we can plan!
Bing:... Ouch! (The five huddled)
Shifu: Alright. Until Bing heals, we need to come up with a plan, and FAST!
Bing: "You know I can hear you and/or predict it with my visions, right? Anything you do will be a pointless, acch, jesture- (Gazelle used an anti-Chi spell)... Me and my big, AAHKK, beak!
Po:... Mook, blurting that out and reminding us.
Xiyi: (Hillbilly accent) Well, when you get mashed into a broken pulp, I'd like to see YOU think clearly.
Po:... Now, what do we do then?
Gazelle: Well, it's clear that his Chi makes him strong and in this arena, it's heightened. So obviously, exhausting his Chi reserves is not an option.
Kun Lao: And with my Chi Sword destroyed, there's no using that against him.
Shifu: And Mayfly will not be available due to this being only us.
Gazelle: We don't need her, anyway. We can do this on our own.
Po:... What about this shield?
Kun Lao:... Explain.
Po: Well, this shield is making our strategy a secret from Bing. What if... We used the same thing to negate his own Chi-based strengths?
Xiyi:... You might actually be getting somewhere, panda.
Gazelle: But we still need to have a specific spell that would require a scroll or something. And since there's none in sight, we need to find one through memory.
Po: Well, Pang was an expert at selective memory regarding magic, but she's not only in the brig, but she can't help us. SO WHY COULDN'T SHE HAVE BEEN HERE, AND WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE PANSEXUAL?!?
Gazelle: Calma, Po! We can still do it without her. The least you can do is DARSE PRISA!!
Po: Okay, okay!! DO YOU HAVE SOME KINDA MAGIC FIELD THAT AUGMENTS US AND PROTECTS US FROM HIS CHI?!?
Gazelle:... Good enough. But it'll take time to calibrate such a thing properly.
Po: As long as it doesn't go 'Every Little Thing She Does', I'm willing to take ANYTHING at this point!
Gazelle: Very well! Then it seems we gotta plan. I'm gonna hide in a spot, and you guys will have to distract him while I charge up the energy.
Po: Is it gonna be less than 5 minutes?
Gazelle:... 1 minute.
Po: HALLELUJAH!!
Gazelle: But I can't use this anti-vision spell when doing it, so you need to keep him distracted until I'm ready.
Po:... What's 'hallelujah' backwards?
Xiyi: "Pretty much "Hajulellah"."
Po: ".... Yeah, basicly that."
Kun Lao: Just get ready! (Bing fully healed himself)
Bing: This nonsesne ends! (He charged, but they got the plan ready and deactivated the shield, and they Shorykened him together as he groaned in slow motion)...
Gazelle: (She got into a private area and began her spell)
Bing:... Where is the Uni- (They managed to overwhelm him)
Swamp
Duke: I BELIEVE IN YOU, GAZZY!!!
Mr. Krabs: "(While being chased by Big Blood) SO IS EVERYONE WHO BETTED AGAINST BING?!"
Sandy face palms!
Sandy: Guys, this is NO damn time to gamble! And it's NOT always fulfilling, you know.
Mr. Krabs: Well, SOR-RY when SOME of us are bored that we don't even get to fight with them!!
Sandy: (Sighs)
Lord Shen: Just ignore them, Ms. Cheeks. At least know that we get to have a break.
Sandy:... Yeah, I guess that's true.
Mushu: And the bath was not enough?
Sandy: Well, while the bath DID kinda count as a swim to some gross extent, like with Mulan, it got ruined by male stupidity.
Mushu: (Sighs) Don't remind me!
Kaa: Me neither! Had to boil my mouth after biting Ling's butt trying to keep her gender a secret.
Mushu: Lucky it wasn't me.
Kaa: You did in the original film!
Alex: Guys, just calm down!
Marty: You know, if you guys keep referring to that incident, we're gonna gross out the audience.
Mushu: Well, too bad, so sad, they'd better get used to it, because the world outside their cartoons are NOT like said cartoons, as it's real life. This is the kinda s*** we talk about. Let's just live with it.
Sandy: Alright, alright, Mr. Party Pooper! You've made your point!
Arena
Po: (He and the other three beat Bing around all over the place comically) Ya know, for a Chi Knight apart of a legacy of fighting demons, your not as difficult to fight as we expected!
Bing Dou: "WELL EXCUSE ME IF MY OLD AGE WEARS ME DOWN, AND THAT YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME ALL AT ONCE?! THIS IS A PHYSICAL EQUILENT OF NOT LETTING ME GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE!"
Gazelle: (She was seen charging the spell)
Bing: (He was seen with his head stuck in the ground as he got it out) Okay, this tomfoolery, ENDS NOW?! (He pinned all 4 down) Okay, now where's the Uniter? (he saw where Gazelle was)... Oh, for the love of Budda.
Gazelle: (She unleashed the spell as all five of them got the magic spell and glowed in golden-yellow auras)
Po:... YEAH, I'M SUPAH' SAIYAN-LIKE, NOW!! (The Judging Spirits were impressed by their cunning)
Bing: OKAY, NOW YOUR JUST PUSHING IT?!
Gazelle: This is the same magic used to negate your Chi powers! We are temporarily charged up with anti-Chi powers so you won't be able to get an upper hand. I hope you can find a way to endure this, Bing. Because it will certainly not be pretty!
Bing:... Oh, hogfeathers.
The Four charged at him as Bing gets into a blocking position, bracing for empact!
From outside the temple.
At first everything seems normal, but then the Temple was blasted away by a blast of Chi, making the place more ruined then it is already.
Inside the temple.
Bing Dou was still standing, but not as graceful looking as he was.
Bing Dou: ".... Ha....... If that's the best you got then- Oh, there I go. (Plops to the ground in defeat)."
The five heroes were exhausted in engery but relaxed in victory.
Oogway: ".... I can agree that the victors are obvious."
Kunch saw this and gulped.
Kunch: "...... Oh, butt monkeys."
Kunch aimed to retreat as quickly as possable, but Mantis came from nowhere and pounced onto Kunch!
Kunch: "DAHH?! HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE?! DIDN'T YOU GET TELEPORTED AWAY WITH THE OTHERS?!"
Mantis: "I pulled the ol' Toy Mantis stunt double trick. I mean, canonically he gave the toys away to this kid from the new Kung Fu Panda short about us having slightly different origin stories with slightly confusing continuity issues, but he has been known to make replacements. I mean, how else was he able to justify their appearence in the 3rd movie which clearly happened after the short because of Tigress's costume change?"
Kunch: "Please, please don't hurt me?! I am just honoring my family's vow to be obedient to the Oriental Claw family! I don't mean to encourage his crimepath!"
Mantis: "Look, I respect the honor system here, but you are in serious need to make up for that stunt you pulled reguardless! Say, your not gonna turn out to be a deceptively badass person, are you?"
Kunch: "My family doesn't believe in fighting, so, no. I'm not. I'm really just an average bug caught in the middle of this."
Mantis: "Good, because the last time I tried to go after a harmless looking spy, it ended up being dishastorious as this spy was more of a badass then she looked! AND SHE WAS ONLY A LITTLE BEE?!"
Kunch: Oh, yeah, bees are adorable, yet DEADLY!!!
Mantis: I know, right! Wait, what am I saying, you're under arrest!
Kunch: You do know that this forfeits the-
Mantis: Bing never specified spies being taken out of the picture.
Kunch:... DAMMIT, YOU'RE RIGHT!!!
Mantis: So, we won fair and square, so you gotta pay your dues.
Kunch:... Aw, Piss in the Yellow River!
Later...
Bing: (As they confronted him in his Temple)... Okay, yes, I am a bird of my word-
Bagheera: WAIT, NO-
Baloo: (He does this)
Bird is the Word! Season 7 FAMILY GUY
Sam: I got this! (He shot him unconscious with a tranquilizer dart)... GOD, is that more annoying than the many times our world finds ways to break reality.
Max: Yes, Sam! Yes it is!
Bing:... Charming. Anyway, I am a bird of my word, so I am going to give you what you earned. But on one important condition. You NEED to ensure that Oriental Claw forgives me for what I am about to do.
Gazelle: I assure you, Bing, we have the power to do so. Just give us the information we need, and we'll ensure that you're not blamed. Besides, those ponies DO need our help.
River
Fluttershy: (She was underwater with a leech acting as a breathing apparatus as she managed to surprisingly get ahead of her friends, gurgling unintelligible dialogue as she evacuated the inhabitants as well as she could, while her friends on the surface drove back the Highwaymen)
Temple
Bing: Very well. But it'll have to be explained on the way there. We can't afford to waste time.
Mekong River
Oriental Claw: STATUS REPORT!!!
Otter #1: We have a snag, sir. 6 Equestrian ponies are fighting us. 5 of them on land, and one... You're not going to believe this... A Pegasus pony underwater who is evacuating the aquatic inhabitants.
Oriental Claw:... (Laughs uncontrolably!)...... You're serious? (Fluttershy breached out like a dolphin, spreading her wings out as she dealt with a few of the water-dwelling Highwaymen) THE HELL?!? (Fluttershy curled up and frontal flipped back into the water!).....
Otter #1: That..... Just showed that like I am serious, sir.
Oriental Claw:.... Did she just... Frontal flipped into the water?
Pinkie: "(Pokes her head at Oriental as he screamed) Well, while not a true actrobatic, if she's motivated enough or if by dumb accsident, Fluttershy has alot of hidden talents even Twilight doesn't know about. And right now, she REALLY wants to help this fish. So, I might wanna reconsider your raid if I was you."
Pinkie went away!
Oriental Claw:... Ugh..... Well, about time I deal with that trouble maker myself anyway! (He takes out his Onyx Wrist Claws and dives, charging towards Fluttershy as she continued to evacuate the fish as she took a breath through the leech, then blubbed in surprise when Oriental Claw came after her, then managed to surprise him by using the Stare on him, as he was so scared, he accidentally drowned, Fluttershy surprised by his reaction)
Leech:... Wow, girlfriend, you just spooked the air out of his big-ass lungs! Eh, serves him right! Let's just get the others dealt with and- (Fluttershy looked angrily at him) Oh, alright, fine, we'll save him! Sheesh.(They rescued him as they brought him to the surface)
Fluttershy: GIRLS!!! (They faced her as she handed them Oriental Claw)
Rarity: My word, Fluttershy, what did you do to him?
Leech: She just stared at him and scared all his breath out of him.
Rainbow Dash:... (She couldn't help but laugh with teary eyes) WOW?! FOR A LEADER OF AN INFAMOUS GROUP WHO ISN'T AFRAID OF LEECHES NOR A TERRORABLE DEMON, AND WAS HOLDING THOSE GIANT CLAWS, WHAT WAS A PAHTHIC WAY FOR A SUCH A GUY TO BE BEATEN?! (Laughs)! I mean, come on, even the Elephant from the first 2 parts did better then this!"
Fluttershy: RAINBOW DASH!
Rainbow Dash: Sorry, I couldn't help it! Let's just have the hearts we're supposed to have and get him to safety. (The Van arrived and played 'El Curacha' as they went in)... WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!!
Otter #2: GIANT HOT-ROD-FLAMED SPACESHIP!!!
Otter #3: WE'RE IN TROUBLE?! WE'RE IN AWESOME TROUBLE?! RETREAT?! (They all dived into the water as they retreated as Fluttershy stopped them, speaking through the Leech)
Fluttershy: Hey, guys! How's it going? You guys need to know that fleeing is futile because, 1. That van is amphibious, 2. We have your boss, and 3. They are the Lodgers, so running won't exactly be fulfilling. (They paused)
Leech: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?... Oh, wait, PBBT, DUH! (They surfaced)
Otter #1: Guys, I think the cute pony is right. With our boss unconscious, AND got captured. Which considering what he was capable of, is both demoralising and sad. I don't think it's wise to leave him behind.
Fluttershy: Exactly. Besides, we were able to convince Bing to aid us in return for a battle of honor, also under the condition we help ensure that he doesn't get blamed for betraying his friend. So, I suggest that, if you all are also feeling the SLIGHTEST bit dishonored by these actions, you need to help as well. I don't wanna fight you, but I will if I have to. (The otters felt guilty)...
Kowalski: (As the ponies and others watched this)... Well, shut my mouth and call me Dolly! Turns out Fluttershy had this covered.
Gricky: Well slap my beak and call me betsy. (Deadpool was about to slap her) Not litterlly, dum-dum! (Deadpool relented.) Maybe she IS stronger than we give her credit for.
Later...
Oriental Claw: (As the otters repented by returning what they stole and making amends all over Deqing, he was given CPR by Xinfei Fusu as he coughed out the water) AAAAAHHHH, THE SEA HAG OF THE MEKONG, DON'T LOOK INTO IT'S DEAD EYES, IT'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS... I... Oh... (He saw Bing)... Bing? (Sees the misfits)...... I, am not gonna like what I hear from you, am I? Cause judging on what I am seeing, this is NOT very good news!
Gazelle: Well, news can be based on persective. We were able to defeat him after using his doubts to have us beat him in a battle of honor, and in return, he'd help us turn your life around, because it's clear that you need as much redemption as he does.
Oriental Claw:... (Sighs) Should've seen that coming. My own fault trying to bring an honor-bound Chi Knight into a life of crime. AND THAT I LOST TO A PONY OF ALL THINGS, IN MY OWN ELEMENT, AND WITH THE WRIST CLAWS?! The same claws that slayed a demon and desimanted an imperial fortress miles wide!
Nick: "To be fair mack, fancy weapons can only be as good as the guy who weilds them. And trust me, that pony has a kind of disappointed mother stare can get to even Bogo."
Bing: Sir, I can explain.
Oriental Claw: "The african deer already said enough?! I can't say that your traitor because your bound by honor and that you appearently lost! I knew that old age of yours is a damn factor! And what did I ever hoped to accomplish if I ended up being defeated by clearly imperfect heroes?!"
Po: "Well, ok, we're not like, Avengers perfect, but we get the job done."
Oriental Claw: "But I beaten heroes that are THOUNDSON TIMES greater then all of you combined, ESPEICALLY PEOPLE LIKE HIM?! (Points to Deadpool)."
Deadpool: "..... HURTFUL!"
Everyone else: "BUT NOT INACCREATE?!"
Deadpool: ".... Seriously though, owch."
Oriental Claw: ".... Why, did I lose this time?"
Shifu: "Perhaps the only reason you won against those heroes was because it was never there desteny to defeat you. It is a sign from the fates that it's time for you to reconsider your lifesytile, and go back to do the Claw Name justice."
Oriental Claw: "..... How can I? Being the leader of the River Highwaymen is one thing, but sharing the same familyline as the Chi Weapon Smith who made the mistake of serving an obvious power-starving madman! Is clearly another?! China will not forgive me, one way or the other.... And even then, the River Highwaymen's dispansion or reformation will not garrentie peace. The niche will only end up being replace by far worse criminals! At least I only went to extremes to set a strong message! Another criminal group would not be so considerate! At least all we do is humiliate people and only kill if an absolute nessersary! But other criminals..... These pasifistic fish will never stand a chance as long as Diao continues to be a worthless cowerd of a leader?!"
Shifu: Then it's time we convinced Diao to ease his fears once and for all!
Oriental Claw: and how, prey tell, do you plan that?
Fluttershy: Just leave it to the experts. (They then travelled down the river, and reached the end that split into the two rivers of Za Qu and Ngom Qu, right where it's city, Qamdo, was located)
Qamdo
Mayor Je Qu: (He was a Japalura Tree Dragon who lived in the city among massive water formations, as a goose servant came in)
Goose Servant: Sir! It's Master Shifu and the Dragon Warrior! They've come and they want to see you. Something about Mayor Diao.
Mayor Je Qu:... Very well. (He walked out and approached the heroes)... You all want to see Diao?
Shifu: Well, we have taken care of an issue for you, because there's someone who wants to talk to you.
Oriental Claw:... (He comes in, albeit skeptically, and bows)... Sir, before you start with the scolding, please know that I have come wishing to repent.
Mayor Je Qu:... I see. You're the leader of the River Highwaymen, and the shameful descendant of the ones that created Chi weapons. Well, then, repent away.
Oriental Claw:... You're not mad?
Mayor Je Qu: Though I am disappointed of you setting foot in my yard, I am going to hold off because of your need to repent. So again, repent away.
Oriental Claw:... Well... You see, we need to speak to Mayor Diao to discuss things he won't like, but we need to convince him to do. Something about... Giving the Mekong River a fight club so the inhabitants of the river can defend themselves.
Mayor Je Qu:... Well, it is correct to assume such. He would not like it. It'll be hard to do such a thing considering his feelings about the Land-Sea Wars and how his ansistery were victimised by that. But I can't help but feel that there's more to this than just a fight club.
Mekong: You're right, sir. They said that in return for helping us deal with the Highwaymen-
???: You'd give them clues as to the whereabouts of the Chi-Tanuki Valley of Zhanzheng. (An orchid mantis appears)
Po:... Is that the Orchid Mantis soothsayer from before?
Soothsayer: No. This is her sister, Ding Shong.
Mantis: (Shivers as the other Furious Five look at him funny)... Hey, to be fair, YOU GUYS KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT NORMALLY GOES WITH MALE AND FEMALE MANTISES?! Also, I haven't seen her in a long time, and I didn't get to be de-sensitised about being around girl mantises yet.
Ding Shong: Mantis. It's been a LONG time since you saved my family from Su Xu Quio.
Mantis: Yeah, THOSE were good days. (Chuckles)
Crane:... Something tells me you have a thing for her.
Ding Shong: We used to date before me and my sister in Deqing became soothsayers. It's, kinda a rule to maintain a single life. Miserable, I know, but, that's tradition. He resuced our brothers and father from Su Xu Quio as she tried to mate with them and have an empire of her own through her seductive tactics.
Mantis: And after that, they dead. Like I said, we mantises have been known to eat our mates, you know.
Viper: Yeah, you never shut up about that.
Ding Shong: Anyway, I see you wish to help the Tanukis so they can do you a favor and rid China of the evil remnants of Imperial origin. But you know very well that it won't be easy, even with Mekong's promised guidance. You must consult with someone who knows of their location specifically, and is forgivable enough to reveal their secret location to you... Like me!
Mekong:... You know?
Ding Shong: Indeed I do. But I cannot tell you right away. I need a right reason to be forgiven for what I will reveal.
Bing: Well, after me, I think that CAN be possible with these guys.
Ducky: Yep-yep-yep. We can do you a solid.
Little Foot: Just name it.
Ding Shong:... Well... It involves a Tanuki that's currently in danger, AND the one whom I gave my promise of secrecy to. But be warned that she's being held in one of the most hazardous areas of the Xizang Province: The Mountain in the Zhongdian area not too far from-
Kowalski: Wait, you mean 'Zhongdian' as in what Shangri-La in modern worlds was called BEFORE it was changed to the name based off of Lost Horizon to promote tourism?
Po:... 'Follow the river to Chi-Shangri-La'! Guys, I think we just found our location.
Ding Shong:... Well, I guess that cat's out of the bag.
Mekong: It's okay. You didn't have a choice. Besides, we'd be glad to help. But before we do that, my deal is not settled yet... I mean, it is, but I feel like I should help the River fend for itself in case history decides to repeat itself.
Mayor Je Qu: Well, I hate to break it to you, but he's not here. He's off at Jie Qu with his relatives.
Po: Aw, dammit!
Deadpool: Why, what does that mean?
Po:... It's one of the last ends of the Mekong River, and it... Has a bit of criminal activity.
Deadpool:... You mean to tell me... That we have to go FURTHER down this river?!?
Shifu: Sadly, yes.
Deadpool:... (He does this as the word was heard all throughout China, as children who heard it ended up repeating it)
Rage FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord Shen's voice: "THAT TEARS IT, YOUR PENIS IS NEXT?!"
Deadpool's voice: "NO, NO NONONONONONONONONONONONONO-"
SLICE!
Deadpool's voice: "(GIRLY SQUEEL!)"
Squidward's voice: "..... We really didn't need to see that."
Jie Qu River
Diao: (He was a giant freshwater ray who was residing in his entire family)... Are you sure it's a good idea to have our family reunion in this part of the River, Great Grandpa?
Diao's Great Grandpa: OF COURSE! I was BORN here, and I'll DIE here!
Diao: (To himself) Yeah, you almost did exactly that over 4,166 times.
Diao's Great Grandpa: WHAT'CHOU SAY, BOY?!?
Diao: NOTHING!!! Sheesh, at least you were one of the many survivors of the Land-Sea Wars.
Diao's Brother: And the OLDEST to survive. (Chuckles)
Diao's Father: GRANDFATHER BU!!! Manners!!! Your mother would want you to respect your family.
Diao: Yeah! This is NOT a good place to be. I know you were born when it was fairly lawful. But it's been a hundred years, so it's best to not-
Diao's Great Grandpa: LISTEN, BOY!!! THIS PLACE WAS MY FAMILY'S HOME FOR GENERATIONS!! We're stayin' here and that's tha- (He seemingly had a heart attack as everyone was shocked)... (He gets his breath)... I'm okay! (They were relieved) AND THAT'S FINAL!
???: (A wounded Chinese sturgeon with a blind eye, scars, scratched fins, and vicious teeth came in)... HELLO, DIAO FAMILY!!!
Diao:... OH, GOD, NO!!! NOT ONE OF THE GREATEST WAR CRIMINALS OF THE LAND-SEA WARS, XUN ZHONG!!!
Sturgeon (Xun Zhong): THAT'S RIGHT!!! AND I'M GONNA-
Deadpool: "(Comes out of nowhere and Rocky sytile punched Xun Zhong into unconjustusness)!"
Xun Zhong: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Xun Zhong fell down!
Deadpool: "NO?! NO?! ENOUGH WITH THE INTERMEDIATE PILLMINERARY THREAT SHIT ALREADY?! IT'S GETTING ANNOYING AND DELAYS THE PLOT?!"
Diao: "..... I'm sorry, but, who are you? AND LANGUISE?! There's children present, buster?!"
The Lougers arrived.
Lord Shen: "You have to pardon Deadpool, he's grown incrisingly impathent about our intermediate threats before our big challnage, so, he wants to take them out of the picture so we can finish our mission quicker."
Rainbow Dash: P***y!
Deadpool: (Dubbed as Stewie as he points his gun at her) I'M SORRY, WHA?!?
Rainbow Dash: NOTHING! Nothing!
Diao: ".... Well, apart from the attatude, I appresiate the aide, but, Xun has been known to be very durable, so, he's not gonna be unconjustus forever, so-"
Deadpool stomped on Xun Zhong's neck, breaking his windpipe and killing him!
Diao: "WHAT THE CRAP?!?"
Deadpool: "Now who's the one with the languise?"
Gazelle: "DUH, WHA, DEADPOOL, THAT WAS NOT VERY PARAGON?!"
Deadpool: "Let's remember that I'm one of the most raunchist creation and intellectual property of marvel comics ever created and that I'm an ANTI-HERO! In laymen's terms..... Renigade for life."
Fu-Xi: "THAT'S MY LINE?!"
Deadpool: "Tecnecally it belonged to Abridged DBZ Vegtia, but who said we can't share? So, basicly, you have me here, I do what I want to ensure this s*** doesn't go any slower! Live with it! Oh, and if you think that's bad, check this out!"
(It went like the following video.)
TFSA Tetris and Silly Gohan-0
Deadpool stomps on Xun's neck hard enough in the rhytum of tetris!
Deadpool: "Ha, I don't know what that was."
Icky: "That was Tetris."
Deadpool: "Isn't that the end result of cutting yourself from something rusty?"
Patrick: "No, that's rabies."
Kolwalski: "Patrick, you get that from rabid animals with the deseise."
Patrick: "Pfff! Please! Animals don't eat people. People eat animals."
Squidward: (Yelling in Patrick's face) HE MEANS THE ANIMALS BITE PEOPLE, YOU BARNACLE HEAD!!!
Kowalski: Squidward, calm down!
Squidward: Also, after all the adventures concerning animals eating people, I'd have to respectfully disagree! So, if you can't stop saying anything DUMB, then you'd better SHUT UP!!!
Sandy: THAT IS ENOUGH! (Slaps Squidward) Look, I know Deadpool's a little too impatient... Okay, a LOT too impatient, but it's not something to be pissed about when he ends up killing someone!
Shifu: Also, war criminal or not, that was STILL murder! I mean, granted, he does have a nasty enough record to warrent a death penalty, but that was not an autherised way to end a life! So, it's for everyone's best interest if you lay low from this world for a few days.
Deadpool: Oh, pfft, this river is teaming with fishy cowards, so what's the big f*****g deeeaaaa- (Remembered Mekong)... Okay, maybe...
Mekong: Oh, it's nothing. He was responsible for a LOT of war crimes that, like Shifu said, his faith would've been long sealed had we spared him. There is also a great bounty, but since he's an alien, our world's currency can't adiquite satisfy him since our money is, considerably primitive to what he's used to. And it also can't be easily go through converson. But still, Xun Zhrong was not a popular soul, and given that he's a mercenary and his job to hunt people like Xun, by all accounts, he can't be legally punished for something that's tecnecally apart of his career.
Deadpool: A-HAH! (Points at Shifu) IN YOUR FACE!!! (Takes Xun's body and placed it inside a cooler) I can't wait to have this guy prepared for dinner at the Christmas Feast in the Dragon Real... (He noticed that Diao and his family were slowly backing away)... Ohhhhh!... Ya think me killing this asshole was abit too much?
Peng: "OBVIOUSLY?!"
Shenzi: "(Intersects the leaving family) Yo hold up, hold up! Look, sorry for the cruddy first impression, but we kinda need your help with something."
Diao: "..... Ok, fine, as long as it has NOTHING to do with more violence."
Spongebob and Patrick: "Ohhhhhhh."
Diao: "..... What?"
Later in Diao's family home
(Diao):... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!? (His voice scared all the fish away)
Inside the Family Home
Diao: YOU ASSHOLES WANT ME TO ESTABLISH A FIGHT CLUB IN THIS RIVER?!? ARE YOU MAD?!?
Skipper: Do we LOOK mad? (Looking at the Wonderlandians)... Barring these guys.
Diao: You must be, because there is no way in Davy Jones' Locker that I'll EVER agree to that strings***!!! And, how are you breathing down here?
Sandy: Magic.
Diao:.... Nevermind, that was a stupid question to ask, considering the magic users.
Merlin: And know we have our reasons. Given the crime that goes on in this river, specifically more so in your great grandfather's place, you MIGHT need to teach your subjects how to defend yourselves.
Diao: AND WHO'S THE RETARDED, VIOLENCE-LOVING, PRETENTIOUS, DESPERATE ASSHOLE WHO CAME UP WITH SUCH AN IDEA?!?
Applejack: AHEM! It was actselly, her idear. (She showed him Fluttershy as she was hurt by his words).... And she's actselly the kindest and most thoughtful pony I ever known.
Diao:... I..... Please don't over-take what I said, I, I thought it was the Red Ninja's idea, or, one of the dragons, or Fu-Xi's, or-........ I messed up royally, did I?
Sir Hiss: Oh, most indeed! You sir, should've choosen your words more carefully, understandable anger aside!
Fluttershy:... (Sighs)... Mayor Diao! Who are you to call me those things after we saved your river from those evil otters? Yes, your family's historical tragedy in the Land-Sea Wars was bad, but that is NO excuse to insult me like that! If I was my Season 1 self, I'd be hurt beyond belief! I was the one who did most of the saving and inspiring in the River.
Diao:... And, I'm grateful, but, you have to understand that I prefer these people to be as peaceful and non-confrontational as possable! I don't want to risk aggresion to cause a war!
Oriental Claw: Well being pasifistic was NOT a better answer in a world that only understands might and force! You know your in trouble if a pony had to be the one to save the day by using a stare that drowned an otter! She was even momentarly determined enough to do a perfect frontflip!
Raindow Dash: "Wait, she did?"
Fluttershy blushed.
Fluttershy: "I uh, may've picked up one or two things from my older days of loving the circus, being around Mareina, and watching you do your stunts, Rainbow."
Big Blood: And she offered us an alternative besides tormenting swimmers and just have a blood trade.
Mekong: She inspired all the people in the River to consider being brave for once.
Kunch: And she's REALLY nice to animals, and her passion for such makes her someone you do NOT wanna refer to as "Retarded, violent-loving, pretentious, and desperate". Those are the things she's NOT, and you're just gonna overlook that, even after what Xun Zhong almost did to you and your family with THIS?!? (Big Blood takes out a knife)
Diao:... Is that... The Knife fashioned around one of my family's old stingers?
Shifu: One of them, yes. Xun watched over them by request from their original owner following his final breath. Considering it uses more than ray venom, you alone could've lost your life had it not been for Deadpool's stupidity actselly being on the rare chance of being useful. But before that, Fluttershy saw that you were in trouble and even made the fool aware of it. Xun had clear intention to destroy your family. In other words..... You owe their lives, and yours, to her.
Nick: "And to be honest buddy.... That was one heck of a thank-you ya just gave. Look, I get it, you don't wanna encourage violence, you want every fish to be friendly with people and sing "Kumbya" with everyone, but, thing is, this is not a safe world for that kind of thing. I mean, by all means, be friendly folk, but even friendly people need to understand the impourence of defending yourself! Otherwise, you could've been a long dead victim of a guy like Xun. And your family would've suffered another tragity related to that mess of a war. Look, I'm not going to try and advocate the joys of punching a person in the face, because, I get where your coming from. Violence goes nowehere no matter the situation, and yeah, I get the message, war, is hell! But sometimes..... Keeping your life, is worth leaving the would-be threat alittle bit bruzed and beaten. Cause otherwise..... Again, for whatever what reason that guy had, he clearly wanted you dead and didn't need to be clever about it, because he knew you weren't gonna really stop him! You would sooner pee yourself then fight back! And you were lucky he didn't counted on this red jackass sucker punching him and crushing his neck, or otherwise, he wouldn't've been alone. Having an understanding of self-defence, would've avoided having the guy just poping out of nowhere and doing you in. And whether you like to admit it or not.... These people are suffering from criminals and who knows what-else being basicly allowed to do what they want, because they KNOW they're not gonna fight back.... But that's your problem..... Your more afraid of a war you weren't even born yet to see to understand that. That being said, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to be peaceful and nice..... It only becomes a problem, if you encourage them to be afraid and fearful. And trust me.... Your insult, did not make things paint you in a good light."
Fluttershy: You are TRULY disappointing! It seems that your cowardice has finally gotten to you.
Diao:...
Peng: So, if you don't care about another threat coming, and possibly one even worse than the Highwaymen, then it's your funeral. At least know we were nice enough to prevent it happening sooner then later. But we can't garrenite if Xun would ever be the only one to threaten your life like he did if you don't understand the need of self-defence. Come on, everyone. (They left)
Diao:... WAIT! (They stopped)... You... You don't understand! What you know about what went on during that war... There's more to it that I was willing to admit.. Believe me, I meant no ill will. It's just..... Even though, I never saw that war, I understood the pain and horror my ansistery went through enough that, I had nightmares of what it would've been if they never survived it?!
Icky: "So, basicly, it's a case of if my precursor family died anxity and the fear of not existing if that happened?"
Diao: ".... Yes, those dreams haunt me to this day."
Sandy: "Were they really that bad enough that you feel inclined to turn these people into a river filled with yellow bellies?"
Diao: "..... I'll explain, and maybe you'll understand. The dreams are always the same."
Flashback
Diao: (He was seen as his present self viewing the war at the bottom of the Yellow Sea was at it's peak, his pregnant and young great grandmother escaping from sharks, other rays, and other violent sea life as the land creatures fought against them either on surface or in the water as they were being killed one-by-one as Diao couldn't handle the violence, all the way to the blood in the water that caused the sharks to go crazy, and go on rages similar to Bruce, as many people were slaughtered, and he had hope that his great grandmother would survive, and she almost made it until Xun Zhong came in and killed her, as he suddenly faded from existence gruesomely as a result screaming his head off as Xun Zhong cackled)
Present
Diao:... I would never need to see the real war, to know what hell it was?! The dreams were accreate enough?! (Softly cries)
Deadpool: ".... Wow. If I ever get dreams like that, I'd probuly drop violence like a bad hapit."
Lord Shen: "But then you'll give up at the worse possable minute."
Deadpool: "Hurtful!"
WB Deadpool: "But not inaccreate."
Fluttershy:... Well, Mayor Diao, you shouldn't let that scare you into avoidance of violence entirely. Sometimes it's necessary for the greater good.
Rainbow Dash: "Or at the least to show your not a wimp."
Fluttershy: A blunt but fairly good point. You have to make sacrifices, otherwise even the SMALLEST threat can make the BIGGEST changes of all.
Duke: "No bones about it. Even a small time bootlegger like me will pretty much get away with stealing every lady's purse and every dude's wallet in this neightberhood and no one's gonna bat too much of an eye about it. Your making this neck of the woods easy street for crooks."
Peng: Exactly. You need this Fight Club. Otherwise, there's bound to be people worse than the Highwaymen out there. If you don't take this advantage now, then it may be asking for this place to be ruined.
Lian: Yes. In a world where violence and fighting is the dominant aspect to where even it's RULERS have a history of hostility, then you need to step up and show that you're not one of the fish that swim off at even the smallest of swimmers.
Shifu: "Keep in mind that we are not against your beliefs in a moral sense. We're just bringing out concerns in a practical sense. This world is not an easy place to maintain a consistently peaceful lifesytile without having to contend with every day challnages, Diao. By all means, you yourself don't have to embrace violence, and your entitled to remain a consistently peaceful ray.... But at least allow others any ability, even only a smidge, to accaquitely defend themselves. Enough at least to discourage criminals about your home being an easy target."
Diao:... (Sighs)... Some part of me will never let me make peace with this, but... You all made an inescapably good arguement. I'll try and take your suggestion to heart. It's what my ancestors would've wanted. Mekong can help me with that, too.
Mekong: That can be arranged.
Deadpool: And you're welcome from saving you from that surgeon.
WB Deadpool: 'Sturgeon'!
Deadpool: Whatever. Now, Mekong, since we finished our side of the bargain-
Mekong: Yes. You've more than earned it. I shall show you where the Tanuki's land is.
Soothsayer: And not a moment too soon. Tsin has already heard of the danger Ding's friend is in, so he's looking to rescue her.
Duke: "Well then, I guess it's time to skeaddle on outta here!"
Peng: "Lian and I will stay behind to establish the fight club. You guys go on."
Deadpool: "We'll be sure to kick butt extra hard for you two!"
Diao: Please be aware that the road to the Zhongdian Mountains is very dangerous, especially when it's one of the most weather-active areas in China! The monsoons there are QUITE treacherous. The bandits up there are not so nice, either. Whatever bandit abducted that Tanuki, it's not going to be merciful.
Deadpool: Thanks for telling us what we already know about bandits and s***.
Mekong: Let's go! (They sailed off in the river)
Diao:... May Yinglong help us all!
Peng: Yeah, your really not the first one to say that in this episode.
Zhongdian Area
Sam: (As they sailed down)... Well, so far, no sign of hostility or the Mountains. (As leaf-camouflaged figures were seen in the shadows) Still, I can't shake this uneasy feeling that we're being watched in a cliché kinda way.
Mekong: Well, when you put it like that, it makes it kinda lame. Anyway, we're almost there.
Max: Yeah, you gotta admit, it IS lame. It's like one of those cheesy teenage gore flicks. Don't skip for a shower unless you wanna buy the farm- (They were attacked by Chi-flaming arrows that struck with intensity)
Icky: SON OF A B****!!!
Max: And speaking of cliché movie moments- (They were all beaten into submission by the leaf-camouflaged watchers as they were hung upside down in a barrage of trees)
Po:... How the heck did we just get beaten?
Icky: "Oh please tell me these guys aren't the bandits! Because if so, then we're gonna be fucked."
Mekong: Don't worry. Bandits, they are not. (The camouflaged figures reveal themselves to be Chi-Tanuki)...
Tanuki #1:... Mekong. Why have you brought these travelers here?
Mekong: Well, unlike what you would accuse me of, it's not because I broke the promise of secrecy. You see, they helped save the Mekong River, and in return, I'd bring them to you so you can give them info.
Tanuki #2:... I'm afraid they ask too much of us.
Cera: TOO MUCH?!?
Gricky: How the HELL is that asking too much?
Icky: "I double that! How is asking for some help too much?"
Po: Yeah! We're pretty heroes that is answering a major call to action, and you're just gonna leave us hanging?
Tanuki #2:... What do we do with the panda?
Tanuki #1:... I sense a lot within him. Enough to be on par with our panda allies.
Po: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm the Dragon Warrior!
Tanuki #3:... The Dragon Warrior? As in the one who was descended from the remnants of Chi-Pandas?
Shifu:... So you know about the Secret Panda Village Po is from?
Tanuki #1: We know all of the secret villages, as well as those of all the other animals that use Chi like us, Master Shifu. But, unfortunately, even if your needs are solid, I'm afraid now is not a good time to come. One of our own has been captured.
Soothsayer:... Ding said we should rescue her actually.
Tanuki #1:... So she broke her sacred promise, too?
Soothsayer: Not exactly. She was as subtle as she could be, and we put two-in-two together with the clues on how to get there. She meant no ill-will. She just hoped that her friend be rescued. So she sent us to help.
Skipper: And since you guys are already doing that, you MIGHT need our help.
Tanuki #1: We don't need your help. We are the Chi-Tanuki. Besides Lieren and a few others, no bandit threat has ever proven a challenge.
Shifu: Well, have you considered that, since a single Chi-Tanuki can fend for himself, and yet this one got captured, maybe there's a new threat to be on equal levels to them?
Tanuki #4... He has a good point, sir!
Tanuki #1:... Be that as it may, a team of Tanukis can handle it.
???: Don't be so sure. (A familiar face came, and it later revealed itself to be Tsin)...
Tsin:... I've been sensing this threat's power since I got here. It's strong. Strong enough to DEFINITELY be on par with Lieren. No doubt this threat can be enough to hinder an entire group.
Deadpool:... ANOTHER ONE?!? Well, looks like I gotta kill another slow-the-plot baddie!
Tanukis: KILL?!? (They pointed their spears at him)
Deadpool: "...... And yet, this does not bother me."
Icky: "Are you seriously this used to people pointing weapons at your face?"
Deadpool: "Comes with the terratory."
Tanuki #5: Who are you to vow murder on the sacred land of Shangri-La?!?
Tsin:... He's a mercenary.
Tanuki #6: HE IS, IS HE?!?
Tsin: But not a kind of mercenary you think..... Entirely. He's an antihero who only kills the worst of people. We only let it pass when his victims are the worst of villains.
Tanuki #1:... I'm afraid we do not allow mercenaries of ANY kind on our land.
Deadpool: Oh, nice one, dumbasses! Your gonna pass up the one guy who's an actual use because your pansies about killing people?! In a freaking world where violence is the norm? Wow, and I thought Diao was the biggest chicken I ever met!
Tanuki #1: SILENCE!!
Deadpool: No, YOU SILENCE?!
Rainbow Dash: Uh, DP, it's not wise to cheat your way through the plot this time. Sounds like these guys mean business!
Fluttershy:... Wise creatures, do know that Deadpool here often has trouble within our team, at least when he tags along. He sometimes gets too far, but he has a good heart.
Tanuki #1: My senses say different. I see it within him. Greed, envy, ego, anything that a mercenary would feel.
Fluttershy: "I didn't say it was a PERFECT good heart."
Icky: "I have to side with Flutters here, Deadpool may be a violent idiot, but if you give him a chance, he can at least be a USEFUL violent idiot if you just lead him to the right direction! Trust me, if he's as bad as you personally believed, we wouldn't even bother dragging him here. Also, Pinkie's kinda buddy-buddy with him, so we had to take him for Pinkie's sake."
Mantis: Also, you might wanna reconsider stabbing him with those things. He's got a healing factor that makes him hard to kill.
Tanuki #2:... How good of a healing factor?
Mantis: He grows back his fricking body when it's blown off of his head. EVEN THE CLOTHES GROW BACK!!!
Tanuki #7:... (Scoffs and laughs) Seriously?!?
Icky: "We know, we know, it's rediculious to us too. Just, roll with it."
Tanuki #1: Then I will have to ask you to leave, and vow a sacred promise of secrecy. Breaking such promises will result in your Chi killing you when your wrong-doing is discovered.
Iago:... Okay, you guys are SO overkill with your Chi! (They pointed their spears at them) YAAHH!!
Thundera: "DON'T YOU DARE POINT THOSE STONE-AGE WEAPONS AT MY LITTLE PARROT, YOU OVER-TERRATORIAL RACCOONS?! (Spears are pointed at her).... Get those spears out of my face and my little Iago, (Gets super god-like scary) OR I'LL SEE TO IT THAT THE STORMS YOU HAVE HERE ARE WORSE?!"
This scares the Chi-Tanukis to get the spears out of her and Iago's faces!
Gilda: "(Sarcasticly) And already we're off to a GREAT start."
Tsin: Everyone, please! They helped stop Mothlock and freed the Land of Prosperity from his evil. The least you can do is show common courtesy.
Tanuki #1: Forgive us, Master Tsin, but with Master Jir Ki's strict and elaborate code of honor, they must prove a LOT to earn our trust. They must demonstrate-
Tsin: Exemplary sacrifice, courtesy, honesty, valor, courage, loyalty, and unselfishness, I know! But can't you see in their eyes... Well... Some of them... That they ARE all those things? They are wacky and flawed, yes, but they are NOT always that. And if they ARE right about this threat being too much to handle, what will we do when we learn the hard way? They might be the best support we can afford right now. I'm sure Jir Ki will understand.
Icky: "Okay, that clearly sounds like his name is a play on him being a jerk, am I seriously the only one who notices this?"
Tanuki #1: You clearly underestimate his code of honor.
Tsin: As a Tanuki whose lived here all his life, do you ACTUALLY think I am capable of doing that to a legend of Chi? I know his code of honor by heart AND instinct as a Tanuki. These heroes were modest enough to ensure that Mekong and Ding don't violate their sacred promises. And if they DID do it intentionally, they would've already been dead. And Jir Ki is a person who knows the Masters of the Jade Palace, and knows that they maintain proper discipline in themselves and these others. I saw how they worked off each other with all that the code of honor dictates, and that proves that they are good enough to aid us. You don't need to be perfect to help. You just need to be all the things you need to earn our trust, am I correct?
Tanuki #1:... A, fair point.
Tsin: So I'm NOT underestimating Jir Ki's honor, now am I?
Tanuki #1:... Look, it's abit more complexed then that-
Tsin: Complex nothing! So let them come in our quest. We'll need all the aid we can get, especially when one of them is a Panda of Chi-Panda heritage.
Tanuki #8:... You sure that one Chi Panda can do this, though?
Tsin: Nope. That's why I brought HER! (Fa came in clearly beat and panting)
Fa:... JEEBUS, MASTER TSIN!!! I know you wanted me to come considering the Tanuki-Panda Alliance, but even YOU should know that we aren't built for excess workout. (Pants heavily) Pandas have been known to DIE when climbing up stairs, you know!
Tsin: Yes, but do know that the Tanukis show as much respect to Pandas as they can, which is why I needed you not just as basis for my achievements, but also to ensure that I am ready to restore my Ki-Tanuki Heritage, and hopefully create the Legendary Chiki-Tanuki. (The Tanukies laughed)
Tanuki #4: Come ON, that's just a myth!
Tsin: Say that to my evil uncle who was turned into one by dark magic. Anyway, it's still possible. Qi-Chan wouldn't have founded my home NOR brought up the basis of the Legendary Chiki-Tanuki if he knew it didn't work. He was among the wisest in Japan.
Tanuki #1: Well, perhaps you may be right, Master Tsin. Perhaps we can use assistance. But know that we will not tolerate anything we feel is dishonorable.
Tsin: I will ensure they don't sour up relationships with you, Baofeng.
Tanuki #1 (Baofeng): Very well. Lower your weapons. (They did so and they free them)... Our master's code will prevail. For now, we reserve your assistance. We'll see who you really are.
Shifu: I assure you, Baofeng, was it? You have nothing to worry about. We will try to show modesty and control in front of you and rescue your friend from danger. RIGHT? (Everyone mumbled in hesitation)
Baofeng: First of all, know that the code specifies a LOT of etiquette, so you'd best listen to Tsin if you want info on it. Second, this FRIEND is my daughter, Liu!
Icky:... Father of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
Baofeng: Now come! We haven't a moment to lose! (They left)
Deadpool: ".... I'm just putting it out there, guys. If these guys kill people for blurting out their private club and that their leader's name is a play on "Jerk", MAYBE it's possable that these guys aren't really so honorable and noble and all that shit?"
Icky: ".... Admitingly, yeah, these are some pretty over-kill methods just to enjoy their privacy. I am sort've starting to have my second thoughts with these yobos myself."
Gazelle: "You don't have to like them, guys. At least put up with their standerds until anything comes up."
Duke: Besides, who is this Jir Ki, anyway?
Shifu: One of the most controversial, yet powerful, Chi-Tanuki students under Zhanzheng's tutelage. In the past, he was quite a controversy as he suffocated his own mother for a swearing soap-in-the-mouth incident, AND slit someone's eyes and making him blind as 'an eye for an eye' for punching one of his eyes out after hitting a girl.
Po:... Wow, sounds like a mean person.
Shifu: Yes. Jir Ki is, not a pleasent exsample.
Icky: HAH! Not that I blame him. That 'soap-in-the-mouth' thing is stupid, and everyone who has, did, or will do it is stupid, too. But that second thing about him going a further step from that Sandlot 2 scene, ballsy, yet still wrong.
Petrie: Me wonders why a jerk like him would be under a legend's tutelage.
Shifu: He prefers that not to be talked about. Just... When we eventually meet him in this trip, try to make a better impression than Shi Te.
Tigress: Considering the aforementioned dishonorable acts, I don't see how easy that will be.
Shifu: Well, one thing I can reveal, is that those two acts prompted his father to disown him. And whatever you do, do NOT mention that in his presence.
Icky: Oh, Heaven forbid we piss off a guy like THAT!
???: You know it's not nice to talk about someone when they are not here. (Jir Ki came in, as a Tanuki with a missing eye, scars, and a glowing Chi eye)
Shifu: (He and Tsin bowed in fearful respect) Master Jir Ki!
Deadpool: "..... (Quietly) Bowing in fearful respect.... Not a good sign."
Jir Ki: "....... Of all the outsiders I've seen, this is the most muttly group I ever seen."
Thunderclap: "Coming from you with your one good eye, that's saying alot."
Jir Ki beaths heavily.
Trixie smacks Thunderclap!
Jir Ki: ".... You assumed I have poor depth perception because of my glass chi eye?"
Deadpool: "Well I wouldn't call glass eyes good replacements to real eyes. They're basicly gross glass balls you stuff into the now avaluable hole in the face! It's nasty man! (Silence)..... What, it is!"
Tsin: "..... Mind, the mercenary, he's-"
Jir Ki: "I know idiots when I see them. But trust me. This glass eye is not like others. Forged from Chi Fire and the finest sands of the Gobi desert, The Glass Chi Eye forsees what is to come."
Icky: "Well why did your doughebag friends attack us if that's true?"
Jir Ki: "I have never said it was perfect. Also, mind Baofeng...... The hapless fool hasn't been the same ever since the Wolves of the Exsiled Valley took his daughter."
Po: "Wait, I thought it was bandits."
Jir Ki: "I admit we have to, streach the truth abit to encourage our ability to keep our socity as a secret to attract wayword heroes to help us without, reveiling too much."
Deadpool: "(Quietly) Telling half-truths. Not a good sign either."
Viper: "Forgive my speaking, but, isn't that abit dishonest?"
Jir Ki: "Well, to be fair, the truth of our Shangra La to the outside world, is considered near-mythical to many! People would end up thinking it a scam or a wild-goose chase if we explained the full story."
Icky: "Then how the fuck Shifu, Tanuki Tsin, Snow Hog, and Mekong know about this place if it's suppose to be a freaking myth?"
Jir Ki: "Inconsistent, I know, but incontestentcy protects us from true believers and discourages them."
Deadpool: "(Quietly) Still not a good sign."
Crane: ".... Don't, take this the wrong way, but, this inconsistency, makes trusting you guys abit, hard. I mean, I can understand making an immortal city secret, but, this is TOO extreme then even the standerds set by the legend! I mean, if you guys aren't even honest about one of your kind being kidnapped by someone, how do we know we can trust you guys about the Faux Yeti Clan and Hai Hoi?"
Jir Ki: "If I hadn't forseen you would ask relitively healthy questions, I'd be offended to the point of wanting you exicuted.... But keep in mind that I demand respect reguardless. But still.... Your not wrong in being cautious. A veil of inconsistenty can have, undesireable effects. Well, allow me to shed some light. The Wolves of the Exsiled Valley are fallen Chi masters, lead by the chi parasite white wolf, Lieren."
Tsin: "Well, it certainly proves that we're needed."
Jir Ki: "That much is still debatable. Neither of those mutts aren't foes we haven't faced before. But they are stepping up their game. Usually, the Wolves of Exsile usually stay clear of Lieren, but their alpha has taken a new found liking to her. Whatever his reason, Wag Lang's intentions can't be ideal to us."
Icky: "Hey wait a minute. Isn't Boss Wolf's real name "Wag"?"
Deadpool: "(Quietly) Delayed respondse after being surprised.... Not a good sign."
Jir Ki: "Look, be assured that "Wag" is a commen wolf name. The fact your friend happens to share that name is, circumstancal. I'm positive that Wag Lang isn't even related to your wag."
Deadpool: "(Quietly): Hiding behind excuses of coinidence and circumstances. Not a goo-"
Fu-Xi: "WE GET IT, HE'S NOT LETTING US IN SOME HORRENDUS DARKS SECRET, DON'T RUB IT IN?!"
Jir Ki: "Ya know what? Maybe, it's best you get RIGHT onto dealing with our wolf problem. (Quietly) Before things get nasty. (Openly) After all, Baofeng's daughter needs help!"
The Misfits and other non-Tanuki heroes stared suspitiously at Jir Ki, and moved on, with the Tanukis but Baofeng staying behind.
Baofeng: "..... Could the dead-eye wolf really be the choosen one?"
Jir Ki: "..... Only one way to find out. Test him out by introdusing them to Lieren and Wag Lang..... If he's not the one, then resume business. But if he is.... Do what is nessersary to secure our control of Shangra La. And make sure Zhan is kept ignorent about these people as much as possable. We can't risk the truth about the Chi-"Tanuki", being exposed. It will compromised everything we worked to atthive! Is that clear, Bao?"
Baofeng: "..... I'll, see what I can do."
Baofeng leaves.
Jir Ki was about to leave with Deadpool there and staring intently at him, freaking Jir Ki out!
Deadpool: "...... Suspitious talking while the heroes are out of the way? Not a good sign. Oh, don't worry, I won't bother telling the heroes yet. They can figure things out for themselves, buddy! Tootles!"
Deadpool skipped gayly to Jir Ki's confusion.
Jir Ki: "..... Oh Budda, it just HAD to be this day of all days."
Valley of the Exsiled.
A rustic camp was seen as surprisingly well-groomed wolves for being exsilers are seen gathering around, waiting the arrival of a very huged Boss Wolfian wolf, looking abit more nobler then what he is currently but clearly shows some signs of being quite a bruzer. This, was Wag Lang.
Wag Lang: "........ Wolves of the Exsiled Valley...... Soon.... We shall be called that no more..... We have finally captured one of our enemy! We have finally have a chance to expose their true nature to china and to the great Zhan! No more will this ill-fated charade continue! It's time we exposed the, "Chi-Tanukis", as the foul beasts they truely are! Finally,. we have a shot, to end their disguised tyranny on this part of china!"
The Exsiled Wolves howled and cheered to this!
Wag Lang: ".... And it is all thanks to the return of our lost queen. The rightful ruler of Shangra La. Wag Lieren, uh.... The last name I'm having trouble to properly say, so, let's just call her, Lieren, the White Wolf!"
The Wolves cheered as a robed figure came forth, reveiling to be an eligant white-wolf with a surprisingly pure light for a "Chi Parasite", as she walked down the stage to address the Wolves of Exsile. This was Lieren.
The captured Liu was held down by a powerful Chi Artifact.
Lieren: "...... My fellow wovles..... For too long, we have been robbed of our birthright as the once-owners of Shangra La, by the villainy that mascaraides itself as good. Obvious signs of their impurity, from threating to kill those that expose them, to inconsistency with their existence, are ignored because of the famed hero that was lead astray by them, among others. The, "Chi-Tanukis", are not what they say, and we can prove it. We have captured one, and with Holy Chi Fire, we can exposed their true nature. Their disguise is weak to several things: Holy Chi, and violence. That's why this misguided dark force is so obcessed with trying to make the world a better place. They aim to control the choices of the people, reguardless of their path, they trick heroes to stand behind them, and they hide their true nature under a veil of secretcy. Well, no more. It's time we save China from this lie, from their misguided attempts to defy their original intention to darkify our world by their original masters, and from shaming the name of Shangra La with their double-standerds and lies. Shangra La's unfortunate false hood, ends here."
The Wolves cheered!
Lieren: "...... And now.... It's time to awake the maker of Holy Chi Fire."
A wolf slams a dong with a hammer, where the dong has an insigmia of what looks like a Phenox.
As the heroes arrived after the speech, a loud squack is heard.
Baofeng: ".... Oh no!"
Po: "What?!"
Baofeng: "Uhhh..... They're, gonna sacrivice my daughter to, a deadly fire bird?!"
Trixie: "Wait, you mean a Phenox?"
Baofeng: "Yes that! Now we must go down there and save her-"
Another loud Squack was heard as a fire ball came out from a cave on a mountain side not too far from the Wolves of Exsile!
The fire opened up to reveil a beautiful heavenly phenox, flying torwords the area!
Shifu: "WAIT!..... That's a holy fire phenox! The most purest of legends in china?!"
Baofeng: "Ughh, it's, a death god indisgusied?! My daughter is being fed to that thing?! Come on!"
Nick: "Hold up, Baoy! Look, when I think crazed sacriifal cults, I don't usually belief they had pure-looking gods. You think that bird would look, demonic or at least fallen-angel theme going on. That thing clearly looks pure!"
Shifu: "Indeed. And there's no consistency concerning a disguise. Besides, A Holy Chi Fire Phenox would only show itself to the demand of pure individuals! Fallen Chi Masters and a Chi Parasite would never enjoy such things! And they would never show themselves to exposed-......"
Po: "To expose, what?"
Shifu: "...... HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND?!"
Shifu charged and started to battle Baofeng!
Tsin: "SHIFU, WHAT'RE YOU DOING!?"
Shifu: "TSIN, WE HAVE BEEN DECEIVED ALL THIS TIME?!"
Tsin: "And you went this way because you were about say that Holy Chi Fire Phenoxes expose only- (Stops.....) WHY YOU SONS OF LYING- (Charges and joins in Shifu in fighting Baofeng)!"
Icky: "Hold up, hold up! I get these guys were jerks earlier, but, WHY SUDDENLY ATTACK THEM?!"
Shifu: "The Holy Chi Fire Phenox will reveil soon enough?! Now defend yourselves!"
Po: "Why- (A Tanuki attacked Po)! DOW?! OW?! Hey, I'm your sid- (The Tanuki started to glitch in chi sparks, freaking Po out)!"
"Tanuki": "..... Oh no, sir, the violence is effecting out disguise?! We're in trouble?!"
Baofeng: "(As he glitched in chi sparks) WELL THE PRESENCE OF THAT BLASTED FIRE BIRD ISN'T HELPING, YOU IDIOT?! FORGET THE HEROES?! STOP THAT BIRD?!"
The Tanukis leap up and charged after the approuching Phenox!
Boss Wolf: "HEY?! I HAVE A FEELING I SHOULDN'T LET YOU GUYS HURT THAT BIRD?! (Grabs a Tanuki as he leaped up into the air as he was screaming, the Tanuki giving an unsettling creature growl and kicked B.W. off, falling right into the stage where the surprised Wag Lang and Lieren saw him and moved out of the way as the heroes join in chasing the Tanukis!
BLAM!
Boss Wolf was smackdabbed into the middle of the stage....
Boss Wolf: "..... Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. And I thought the aftermath of battling Po in Gongmen was a painful landing. I-"
Boss Wolf saw Lieren and Wag Lang looking at him!
Boss Wolf: "..... Oh wolf....."
Wag Lang: "..... Well, well, well, wise guy. I guess you forgetten the old Wolf Creed. You mess with the wolf, you get the fangs. (Brings out a gaint warhammer.)."
Boss Wolf: "..... (Wimpy voice) Oh double wolf."
Lieren: "Lang, wait! (Wag Lang obeyed.)...... I.... I think I know him..."
Lieren approuched Boss Wolf as he flinched in fear.
Lieren: "Please don't be afraid. Whatever lies Jir Ki said, they aren't true."
Boss Wolf: "...... So, your not a Chi Parasite?"
Lieren: ".... Well, yes and no. I practice both good chi and bad chi, but I found the right balence of giving and taking something away. We are once the Chi Balence Wolves of Shangra La, before..... They, took it from us."
Boss Wolf: "..... OH GOOD BUDDA, THE CHI-TANUKI'S A BAD GUYS?!"
Lieren: "Worse then that.... They're not even real Tanukis."
Boss Wolf gasped!
The Heroes began battling the "Tanukis" in the air, as dispite a rough battle, they were able to over-wealm Tanukis thanks to the Holy Chi Fire Phenox coming closer and forcing them to retreat, even Baofeng relucently, forcing him to abandon his daughter!
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox arrived on the stage, freaking Boss Wolf out with a wimpy yelp as he crawled away, as the creature approuched a flinching Liu!
Liu: "No, no! (Starts to glitch in chi sparks)! DON'T EXPOSE ME?! (The Holy Chi Phenox lights a golden torch below the "Tanuki", and exposed her in her true form! A demon looking reminisent to the creatures from the first Scooby Doo movie, as the heroes gasped!) No?!"
Shifu: ".... I knew it..... Chi Demons."
Boss Wolf:... So... They weren't the Chi-Tanukis?
Liu: "..... Okay, I admit..... The Chi-Tanukis were never real. There never was any such thing. My kind were failed exspeariments of the Yaoguai to create Demons with the power of chi, but..... The chi unintentionally purifived us, and made us good. Our Yaoguai masters deemed us as failures and left us to rot in the mortal world. We wanted to do good things in the world as a result, but, we needed to make ourselves presentable to not have people fear us. So, we took the form of Tanukis and, believe me, at first we wanted to make our own home, but, Jir Ki insisted on taking away the only place with any real influence on china.... Shangra La. The land that, belonged to the Chi Wolves of Balence, before we rendered them exsiled from their own home when we overwealmed them and Lieren. Please understand, we only want to make this world a better place."
Tsin: "........ I..... I can't believe it...... Everything I thought I knew, was a lie."
Mekong: "..... This is gonna be very hard to explain to everyone who was counting on their help."
Fa: "..... Awkwooord."
Po: "..... D'ooooh! I hate it when these kind of plot-twists happen!"
Shifu: "...... Liu, you have dishonored our quest to seek Hai Hoi with this reveiled infomation. And our desires to have challnagers to the Yeti Clan are also compromised! You have effectively derailed our hope to stop the mordern Lu Kai and seek out Hai Hoi!"
Liu: "..... I...... I'm so sorry."
Deadpool: "Well sorry doesn't excuse the fact that Jir Ki was hiding something and was planning to kill us off should we discover the truth."
Sandy: "Ya mean you know about that earlier and didn't tell us?!"
Deadpool: "Well since it was your show, I thought I would pull a Discord and let you guys find out for yourselves. And we won, didn't we? Those chicken-shits ran off."
Lord Shen: "BUT THEY'LL BE BACK WITH REINFORCEMENTS, YOU IDIOT?!"
Deadpool: "Hey, at least we're not helping demons anymore. There's always that."
Lord Shen: "....... (SCREAMS WITH A PEACOCK CALL AND POUNCES ON DEADPOOL AND VIOLENT AND PAINFUL THINGS ARE HEARD, AS EVERYONE FLINCHED AND WINCED AT THAT) YOU, STUPID, IDIOT?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT PINKIE PIE EVER SEES IN YOU?! THIS IS WORSE THEN EVEN THE TIME YOU FREED OVERLORD STRANGLE FOR GIGGLES?! I'M GONNA MURDERISED YOU?!"
Boss Wolf: "..... Ignoring that..... Okay, not Chi Parasite-ish lady, what's going on here?! HOW DO YOU KNOW ME?!"
Lieren: "..... It, is a long story, Wag Dai."
Boss Wolf: "HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?!"
Wag Lang: "Oh hush up boy! Is that anyway way to speak to your mother like that?"
Boss Wolf: "MY WHAT?!"
Po: "What?!"
The Five: "What?!"
Shifu: "WHAT?!"
Kaa: "WHAT?!"
Squidward: "SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"
Shenzi: "Say, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"
Lord Shen and Deadpool: "WHAT?!
Icky: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
Nostaglia Critic: "(This video)"
Nostalgia Critic "wha-wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaa?"
Everyone stared blankly at that......
Sandy: ".... Don't mind that, we usually use recuring gags."
Boss Wolf: "B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B, I ALREADY HAD PARENTS?!"
Wag Lang: "They were friends we asked to adopt you and raise you and your sister somewhere safe so you can return as great heroes and live the propicy of taking down Jir Ki."
Boss Wolf: "ADOPTED?! PROPICY?! I, I, I, I, I!? (Sighs high-pitchly and faints)."
Wag Lang: "...... Was it something I said?"
Twilight: "..... It's, a very, very, very, very long story....."
Fa: (As she notices Tsin getting angry)... Master? Are you okay?
Tsin:... Are... You... KIDDING ME?!? ALL THIS TIME, THEY WERE A MYTH?!? ALL I HAVE WORKED HARD FOR, WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME?!? THERE'S NO WAY TO HONOR MY FAMILY'S LEGACY?!? ALL THE ONES WHO TOLD OF STORIES OF THEM, INCLUDING MY MASTER, LIED TO ME?!? ALL THIS, JUST TO FIND OUT I AM A DYING LEGACY WITH NO PURPOSE LEFT?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? (He burned in Dark Chi)... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (His Chi burned up and lit up the Valley)
Fa: MASTER!!
Po/Shifu: TSIN!!!
Icky: "AW, NOW WHAT?!"
Tsin: (He displayed a Dark Chi form)... ALL THAT TIME, ALL THAT EFFORT, ALL THE PROMISES I MADE TO MY MOTHER TO RESTORE OUR LEGACY... ALL FOR NOTHING!!! MY MASTER LIED TO ME!!! ZHANZHENG LIED TO ME!!! MY FAMILY LIED TO ME!!! EVERYONE LIED TO ME!!! THE WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST MY LEGACY NOW!!! THERE IS NOTHG LEFT!!! (He screamed with teary eyes as the Chi destroyed much of the area as the heroes were endangered)
Boss Wolf: (Conjustus again) WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?!?
Lieren: It's clear that he's not taking all that he knows so well.
Icky: "NO SHIT, LADY?!"
Tigress: WELL, YOU'D BETTER HELP HIM OUT!!! IF THE CHI-TANUKI REALLY ARE JUST A MYTH AND HE'S BEEN FULFILLING THE PROMISE OF HIS DEAD MOTHER FOR NOTHING, THEN IT'S CLEAR HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HONOR HIS FAMILY ANYMORE!!!
Tsin: MOTHER, THIS WAS ALL A WASTE!!! EVERYONE TAKES US TANUKIS AS A JOKE!!! WHAT IS ZHANZHENG REALLY LIKE?!? WAS HE JUST ANOTHER CHI DEMON?!? DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE TANUKI LIVING IN CHINA?!? DID THE PANDAS EVER SHOW THEM RESPECT?!? WHAT IS NEXT?!? WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S OVER!!! (He cries aggressively as he continued to destroy)... I HAVE FAILED YOU!! YOUR DEATH... WAS IN VAIN!!! (The destruction was crazy)!
Gazelle leaped to Tsin and grabbed him and gave him a firm slap that restored him to normal and stopped the destruction!
Sparx: "..... WELL I WISHED CYNDER AND I HAD THE IDEA TO DO THAT TO SPYRO BACK IN OUR GAMES IF IT WAS THAT FUCKING EASY?!"
Gazelle: "..... Tsin Shu, stop...... Your promise to your mother did not go to waste..... It just, ended up more challnaging to fix then you thought."
Tsin: "...... Your words can only go so far with me. The Chi Tanukis were my only hope, and..... They turned out to be frauds?! I.... I been lied to."
Gazelle: "You were not lied to by anyone. They were only retaleing what they thought was true. They were just as much caught with wool over their eyes as you did. For what it's worth, since these Yaoguaispawn are said to be pure-hearted failed exspeariments, at least they're HALF like what they were made up to be."
Tsin: "..... Even so, I don't want THEM to live in the Land of Prosperity, or have any enfluence?! LET ALONE EVEN THEIR ENDORSEMENT?! The valley that I grew up with, is forever gone, and all I did to honor her death, was found a still recovering land after it was JUST FREED FROM AN ALIEN MOTH MAN?!"
Gazelle: "Tsin, please. Sometimes..... Life, is not so simple. Life, is never as easily ideal as Zootopia's tagline or a wonderful sounding legend. And what you went through, is an exsample why hero worship can be dangerious. You may not always like what you discover of them."
Tsin: "..... Your belovers NEVER have to worry about that with you?! Your a legitamently nice person?! Heck, some would expect you to be abit of a fowl-minded harpy who cares only for her self and may not either truthfully believes in her ideals or at the least has grown numb from fame that it no longer has true meaning! But then they actselly meet you and you are earnestly their idol they worshipped! In fact, you don't just say you want to encourage equility and tolerence, YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO FIGHT THEM?!"
Gazelle: "That's because I kept a consisently a good person and Hecktor did well to keep me from losing myself. That doesn't nessersarly mean I have never ended up letting someone down. My failure to keep Bellwether safe, lead to her to lose faith in me and I lost a friend from that. By saying what I mean and showing prove, I aim to avoid more failures like that. The Chi Tanukis only failed, because of Jir Ki still having some true demon evil in him. It's obvious that Jir Ki was not a good enfluence on them."
Tsin: "...... Even if that's true, I still want nothing to do with them?! Jir Ki being a dispicable insult to the name he made up or not, I no longer wish for their involvement?!"
Gazelle: "And you don't need to. Your promise should not be dependent, on anyone but yourself."
Mekong: "..... She is right. In a way..... You are your own Chi Tanuki..... And your own hero. And it's all thanks to the real hero of your life.... The late Master Sun Bear. He would want you to rise above this. Yes, I agree that, he too would not be pleased to hear the truth, but like Oogway, he takes disappointment with pathince and restaight. If he were here, he would simply aim to correct the hidden sin of Shangra La and correct Jir Ki's crimes. Neither he, or your mother would approve of you throwing a temper-tandrum over disappointment. (Chuckles), espeically if it destroys lands."
A cliffside far away from her crumbled after it momentarly survived Tsin's outrage.
Tsin: "...... I..... I never meant to be such a disappointment, I..... I just thought they were the answer to everything."
Fa: "..... Master, I'm.... Kinda disappointed too. But you don't see me doing, (Holds her arms up around the area), This! Okay, I felt sad when you and our land's five didn't exactly liked me at first, but did I threw a hissy fit? No! I cope by stuffing my face in! And then eventually I came to earn your trust. And look how it paid off! We're no longer enslaved by an alien mothanoid with an army of processed demon corpses, our home is back to being what our name suggests. And it's because of The Land's own resident Chi-Tanuki master. You trained me, you trained our land's five, and your the best thing that came from Sun Bear since, well, Sun Bear himself coming to help us! Okay, so the Chi-Tanukis of Shangra La turned out to be, only really good stories, for what it's worth, we at least still have Zhan.... If, ya know, he doesn't turn out to be a Chi Demon."
Lieren: "Oh, don't worry, he's not. He's, just caught up in being trapped in their veil of lies as well."
Tsin: "..... At least there's him, but..... One Tanuki isn't enough! Or, two if you count me..... The Land of Prosperity will never become the valley I lost....."
Gazelle: "...... It doesn't need to be."
Tsin: "..... It doesn't?"
Gazelle: "The Land of Prosperity doesn't have to be like your old home. It can become it's own beautiful paradise. And in a way.... The fact you founded that land at all, already completes your promise to your mother."
Nick: "Yeah. For as long as it's a beautiful luss land with fertile farm lands and healthy water, I think your mom would be proud of you. The land of Prosperity doesn't have to be Tanuki Land 2.0. or to match your own neighterhood word for word. The fact that you established a new place, should be more then enough. Besides, those Chi-Tanuki's didn't even took you seriously on that request anyway. Hey, in fact, they just laughed at your face and said your old home never existed. Did you really wanted their support or help even after that, even if this Chi Demon crap never accured?"
Tsin: "..... I..... Had wished to earn heir approveal when we rescued Liu."
Nick: "Well whoopsie daisy, turns out her being kidnapped was justifived. Look, I been there. When I tried to join the Junior Cub Scouts, all I got was a lousy muzzle.... Sure, it turned out to be an extremely harsh initsiation cerimony that the Scoutmistress didn't approved off and those jerks were made to apologiesed. But as earnest as it was, the damage was done. I was still lead to believe that foxes are just everyone's butt-monkey because of steriotypes about us being naterly sneaky, swifty conmen and that we would sooner scam the crap out of you then anything of note-worthy kindness. Even if they otherwise turned out to be nice guys, I didn't want anything to do with them. I mean, sure, I wouldn't mind to accept earnest amends, but I knew that I am not gonna be fond of their sense of humor. But just because your heroes turned out to be a real con, doesn't mean you shouldn't try to do great things. All it takes, is for you to meet a real hero, to get you back on track. With me, it was Judy Hopps. But you? Why, you already created 6 of your own heroes..... Fa, and your 5 best students. And alchourse, like what everyone's been saying.... You are your own hero. You can become the kind of hero those posers tricked everyone into thinking they are. You are capable to make a real difference, and you are capable to live up to that promise of yours. In fact.... Your already half-way there, if not that you already done it. The Land of Prosperity is once again as beautiful as your old home, if not even better. And you don't need the help of fakers for that."
Tsin: "......."
Gazelle: "You can be your own hero, Tsin..... Just believe in yourself."
Tsin: "........... (His face restores to a smile)........ Your right. My land of prosperity doesn't need anything to do with them to become the homeland that I lost, if not become better in it's own way. I will become my own hero. And I already have other heroes to fight along my side.... Real heroes."
Fa: ".... Awwwwww, Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You shouldn't've master!"
Tsin: "Though the quest to make the Land of Prosperity a new Tanuki home has become more..... Difficult, I should not commit the act of self-defeat and harm myself and others. Maybe the Land of Prosperity will never replace the land I lost.... But it is no longer obligated to do so. It can easily become a paradise of it's own right. I will see to that, even at my dying breath. I declare a new promise. The Land of Prosperity will not be just another Tanuki valley..... It will be a land, for all walks of life. All kinds, shall be accepted and embraced. And it will survive and congure any new challnages to it's existence and prosperity. It'll be a land, that'll be remembered for years to come. And nothing will make me come short of this promise. Not Mothlock, Not Lu Kai, Not anyone?! And espeically not the Chi-Tanu....... The Chi Demons?! The Challnage ahead may've become more endearing and a far greater burden..... But where's the fun in being heroes if victory was easily earned?! We will simply have to settle refinding the lost elder of the Yeti Clan and help him reclaim his title from his ilk of a son, and take down Lu Kai from there, and get Pang Bing to see Hai Hoi! But first things first..... We are to punish Jir Ki for his false hope and lies! We are to return Shangra La to the Wolves, and banish the Chi Demons back to the underworld?!"
Liu: "No, wait! Do what you want with Jir Ki, but don't hurt the rest of my brood?! They just don't realised that his purity's been compromised?!"
Judy: "And give us one good reason why we should trust you after all that's happen?!"
Liu: "BECAUSE I'M FRIENDS WITH THE YETI ELDER AND HE GAVE ME AN ITEM OF POWER THAT CAN BE USED AGAINST JIR KI THAT CAN BOTH PURIFY HIM AND MAKE HIM TOO WEAK TO EVER HURT ANYONE AGAIN?!"
Icky: "Okay, you copyright violation of those really dumb creatures from the first Scooby Doo live action movie. (Readies the Lie Detection Test).... Enlighten us. If you are his friend, then he could've trust you with certain info.... Question Numero Ono, what's the name of his kid, or kids if he has more then one."
Liu: "His sons are named Master/General Skun Kape- (The Hyenas laughed)..... Or just Skun for the sake of him being taken seriously, and two others named Mon Kai Si and Mon Kai Du.... The last two are adopted."
The Lie Detecter gave a friendly beep.
Lie Detecter: "Truth."
Icky: "..... Beginners luck! But did he tell you his FAVERITE YETI FROZEN TREAT?!"
Liu: "What? What does that have to do with anything?!"
Icky: "I meant like, snowcones, ice cream, TV Dinners?"
Liu: "..... You idiot, none of those exist here!"
Lie Detecter: "(Friendly beep). Truth."
Icky: ".... Your right, stupid question. Okay, do you at least know the name of the thing that's gonna fix/neuter Jir Ki?"
Liu: "He didn't say the name, but he said it was a lost piece of a Uniter Blade Assessery that can enable the Uniter to turn powerful creatures into Summons."
Icky: "AH-HA! I know for a fact that has to be a l-"
Lie Detecter: "(Friendly beep). Truth."
Icky: "..... Holy shit, your serious?"
Liu: "Do I LOOK like I'm in the position to lie?!"
Skipper: "We can't nessersarly say. This is pretty much the first time we used a lie detecter on a demon. It could be that it can't read you very well and it malfuntioned. We're working on upgrading that problem out still."
Liu: "Okay, seriously, what do you want from me?! I'm a defected Yaoguai exspeariment with the power of chi that only wants to make this world a better place, but then I found out that Jir Ki is close to being a true demon and is making our people doing hurtful things?! I'm exposed, scared, and confuse right now?! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PROVE THAT I'M NOT LYING?!"
Fa: "..... Maybe, actselly show us the assessery?"
Liu: "Well thanks to me being kidnapped by wolves, I dropped that on my way home! It's likely the other Tanuki's found the thing and are holding it in there storage."
Icky: "Okay, I know your scared, but I know for a fact that has to be a-"
Lie Detecter: "(Friendly Beep). Truth."
Icky: "..... Am I being trolled by a lie detector?"
Lie Detecter: "(Friendly Beep). Truth."
Gazelle: "(Annoyed sighs), Guys, I honestly believe that she means what she means."
Tsin: "...... We wish to seek out the Yeti Elder first. He might be more willing to comfirm whether or not she speaks the truth. That may mean releasing her."
Iago: "You sure? Sure she's a purifived demon, but she's clearly afraid of us right now. She might implusively run away or attack us even."
Liu: "Then disable my chi if you want to feel safe around me! Just please! Don't punish the Chimons for Jir Ki's mistake!"
Lieren: "..... Very well.... Lang, fit her with the collar of absorbsion. The collar was an old chi containment item used in the Chi Age to control Chi Users who went rouge. It'll discourage any fear-driven desertion or attack."
Liu: "...... I want a term and condition..... I want you people to promise that no Chimon other then Jir Ki if you have to, gets hurt from this. Espeically not my father. Please. My people are just as blinded by Jir Ki's lies as everyone else is."
Gilda: "And your the only one who knew he was full of shit?"
Liu: ".... I won't lie. Not untl the Yeti Elder told me the truth."
Lie Dectecter: "(Friendly Beep). Truth."
Liu: "..... You sure that's a lie detecter? It seems to know I'm telling the truth just fine."
Icky: "If you mean if the thing's rigged, then trust me, it's an honest Lie Detecter. But trust me, it does have a lie funtion. Just test it out with a rediculious lie."
Liu: "...... I, like to suck on my foot."
Lie Detecter: "(Friendly Beep). Truth."
Awkword silence as Liu made a funny shocked face as everyone gave a blanket expression.
Deadpool: "..... That's strangely hot for some reason....."
Shrek: "..... (Scoffs)..... Do you?"
Liu: "Nn-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-NO?! I most certainly do not!"
Lie Detecter gave out a loud AOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!
Lie Detecter: "LIE?!"
Liu blushed with utter embarrisment as the heroes started to laugh.
Icky: "Ahh, Ahhh, see, it CAN detect lies. It proves that it was not broken and that you are being honest with us until the foot thing, which is NOT related to your relieablity."
Nick: "Dahh, don't feel to bad, at least you lighten up everyone's mood."
Liu: ".... I may wanted to make everyone feel better, but I didn't meant like this!"
Pinkie: "Oh don't worry, it's still nothing compaired to Twilight being afraid of Quzidias."
Twilight: "I AM NOT AFRAID OF QUZIDIAS!"
Lie Detecter: "(AOOOOGA) LIE?!"
Twilight: "WHY YOU STUPID- (GALIC GUNS THE LIE DETECTER?!)"
BOOM?!
A burn mark was seen as Icky was comedically singed from it because he was holding the Lie Detecter.
Twilight: "...... (Realises what she did)..... Sorry."
Kolwalski: "Don't worry, the Lie Detecter was in due need of being upgraded anyway. I typically like to break it apart to rebuild it along with the upgrade, so, if anything, you just gave me a headstart."
Liu laughs.
Liu: "You guys are funny! I'm feeling abit better now."
Tsin:... One more question.... Does Zhanzheng know anything about the Chinese Tanuki species? If the Chi-Tanuki aren't real... Then... Are they as renowned here for Chi as anyone else?
Po: Well, to be honest, we're all as shocked as you are that those guys are a myth. But if a guy like you can master Chi AND Ki at the same time, AND if Zhanzheng can do a HIGH level of Chi knowledge and capabilities... What's to say that a Chi-Tanuki Clan CAN exist?
Tsin:... (Sighs) Unfortunately, I might never know in time. Without the Chi-Tanuki to confirm his location, I have no knowledge of how to start if such a possibility DID come up.
Soothsayer: He is found here in Shangri-La, actually.
Tsin:... What?
Soothsayer: Yes. Because of it's high levels in Chi, it DOES prove a worthy location to actually train in and build up his skills. He's trained here all his life in a land that was reported in the Chi-Tanuki myth to be the location of their village.... Which is actually not too far from civilization. But I'm afraid he's not there at the moment.
Tsin:... Well, it doesn't matter either way. I don't feel cut out for restoring my legacy any further than I have already after the chaos I accidentally caused. It's best that I hold off for the moment, and hope that some, if any, Chinese Tanukis hear of me and wish to support me.
Lieren:... Perhaps... I could offer some chance of that. If you wish to create a Chi-Tanuki Clan of your own, and hope to fulfill Qi-Chan's beliefs of a Chiki-Tanuki, then I suppose that in return for your favors here, starting with dealing with the Chimons, we'd aid you in advertising your wishes. I can't guarantee full success, but it's worth a shot.
Applejack: And thank Celestia! It's clear that Voidheart varmint never told you about the Chi-Tanukis being a myth, because... (They noted the chaos Tsin committed)... He MIGHT'VE considered it a backup plan for revenge, and you'd so easily take his place. Well, that is if he even knew that much. He could've thought the Chi-Tanuki's were legit as well.
Pang Bing:... She has a point reguardless. You almost ended up as worse as your uncle.
Tsin: Yeah, I figured that out already. Now, (Sighs) We haven't a moment to lose. We must go stop the Chimons! We'll have to worry about the Yeti Elder later, because, Liu..... I have good reason to believe that you can be trusted. We'll start by getting the Uniter Blade Assessery of Summons first.
Liu: "Just one thing though..... When the last Uniter who had it died, the creatures that were was once apart of it, were freed, and may've moved beyond china. So, you might need a creature in order to use to it's full potaintional."
Icky: "OH NOW YOU TELL US?! Where are we gonna get a fantastic creature on such short notice!?"
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox came up to Gazelle.
Gazelle: ".... Uh..... Hello?"
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox turned to it's side and lean down, offering Gazelle to ride on it.
Gazelle: "...... Uh...... What's it doing?"
Lieren: "..... The Holy Chi Fire Phenox has choosen you to be it's master."
Gazelle: ".... I'm sorry, what?"
Wag Lang: "Yyyyeah, we, probuly should've mentioned this earlier, but, The Holy Chi Fre Phenox was a summon for a long ago Uniter before she was lost. The magnifisent bird has been seeking for a new and successful master ever since."
Gazelle: "...... You mean, you want me to..... Won't it hurt it?"
Lieren: "Oh don't worry. A great creature or being becoming a summon doesn't hurt them. They will become one with the Uniter blade until you need them."
Gazelle: "But won't it be miserable being trapped in a unless void?"
Mekong: "You do not need to worry. Inside the Uniter Blade Assassery, lies a beatiful realm that can cater to whatever creature you wish to have aide you in your quest."
Gazelle: "Well, I, don't want to force the poor thing into servitude, and take it away from it's home."
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox picked Gazelle up with it's beak and placed her on it's back.
Wag Lang: "That's a good sign that it choose to be with you all the way, Gazelle."
Gazelle: "..... Well, it, bites away my core and being, but.... If you wish to be a summon, then..... I won't stop you...."
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox rose up and gave a proud eagle cry and flew up with a surprised Gazelle shouting!
Gazelle: "WHOA, WHOA, EASY, EASY!"
The Holy Chi Fire Phenox flies away with Gazelle still trying to maintain control!
Lieren: "..... Might I suggest you heroes follow the Uniter and the Holy Chi Fire Phenox? They still need your help in the challnage that lies ahead."
The Lougers run off!
Boss Wolf: "Uh, I'm gonna stay behind with my appearent parents guys! I, have a lot to explain-"
Rainbow Dash zoomed back and grabbed Boss Wolf!
Rainbow Dash: "YOU'LL CATCH UP LATER, B.W.! WE NEED A FULL FORCE HERE!?"
Rainbow Dash zoomed away with Boss Wolf as he screamed abit because how fast she is!
Wag Lang: "..... Our son has made the strangest friends."
Lieren: I can tell. Since Shu Mulan died, I've known only a few specific details of Wag Dai's life.
Wag Lang:... Isn't his name supposed to be 'Dai Wag'?
Lieren: I switched it around as a means of cover to protect him from being found by the Chimons, just like I did with his sister. Yinglong bless her in the state SHE's in. Though from what I understood from their adopted parents, they had quite a sibling rivalry that's considerably humorious. Espeically the dog biskit thing.
Wag Lang: "..... How, exactly do those things exist here?"
Scroopfan: "Hey, first off, that was MSM's idea, second, you can't expect us to always be throughly actreate to hsitoric worlds."
Wag Lang: ".... What was that?"
Scroopfan: "Ohh, right, I can only get away with that for the lougers. My mistake."
Meanwhile...
Gazelle: (She continued riding the Chi Phoenix)...
Duke: (On communicator) HAVE YOU DECIDED TO GIVE IT A NAME, GAZZY?!?
Gazelle: IT SAID IT'S NAME WAS 'SUNDER'!
Duke:... It talks?
Gazelle: No, but I hear it communicating with me through the Uniter Blade. It's kinda what all Uniter Princesses can do.
Lord Shen:... I just had no idea Shu Mulan knew about this noble creature.
Icky: "It could've been a different Uniter who lived here, Shen. Did you even remember the assessery?"
Lord Shen: "..... Actselly no, the uniter blade was bare when I saw it."
Icky: "Well there you go. Obviously whatever pre-Shu Mulan had the blade, did a summon creature shtick before she failed in some way. When we meet up with the Yeti Elder, we can get more info."
Lord Shen: "Well, reguardless. We must prepare for the battle of a lifetime. Fakes or not, those Chimon have clear deminstraightion of power. If there's one thing legit about them, it's their power."
Shangra La, outskirts by a cliff.
Baofeng was smacked near a cliff by an angry Jir Ki!
Jir Ki: "YOU MISERABLE IDIOT?! Not only is your daughter exposed and the truth known, but now the misfits will move against us?! All we got from this is more enemies?! How are we to redeem ourselves of our shameful origin, if idiots like you, SCREW UP?!"
Baofeng: "Please, we would've ended up expsoed reguardless if we stayed! The Holy Chi Fire Phenox would've exposed us just by being near!"
Jir Ki: "That's the excuse you can come up with?! You could've still kill them off from there?! Your a chimon, you idiot?! And on top of that, your a worthless father. What kind of father abandons their child?"
Baofeng: "I, I didn't had a choice. I wasn't gonna be of help to her if I got captured as well."
Jir Ki: "WELL HOW IS LEAVING HER TO LIEREN AND THE WOLVES ANY BETTER?! THEY'RE GONNA DEMINSTRAIGHT HER AS A FREAK SHOW AND EXPOSE OUR TRUE NATURE?! Shangra La is MORE then just a culturely influenceal city?! It's a city that can deside the fate of the world?! And it need that secret to make this world an ideal place as an act of redemption for our unfortunate heritage, and you, SCREWED IT ALL UP?! I, was very, very close of decoding the Legendary World Scroll, the Scroll with the power to change any and all destenies in china of this world, we can forever obsileite tragity, suffering and pain with that scroll, I am very close to decoding it, AND YOU DOOMED OUR MISSION?! Now we must find a way to get rid of those heroes?!"
Baofeng: "..... Why not use the scroll itself?"
Jir Ki: "..... What part of I haven't fully decoded it's anichent cryptic text, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! AS LONG AS THAT CODE REMAINS UNSOLVE, IT'S JUST AN OVERGLORIFIVED PIECE OF PAPER?!"
Baofeng: "..... Well, how, far did you discover?"
Jir Ki: "Not enough to solve the code on short notice. I broke my chi eye trying to figure it out, and now it's prediction powers are not always on time or relieable! (Stops for a bit)..... OH NOW I PREDICTED THAT THEY TURNED ON US?! THAT WAS LITTERALLY MOMENTS AGO?!"
Baofeng: "I can help you decode it, Jir Ki!"
Jir Ki: "..... You done enough, to worthless waste of space."
Jir Ki kicks Baofeng over the egde as he grabbed on!
Baofeng: "Master, please, NO! What're you doing?!"
Jir Ki: "I need to make up a story for Zhan to coherse the fool to work against the misfits...... And that means.... You have to pose as their victim of murder."
Baofeng: "YOUR GOING TO KILL ME?!"
Jir Ki: "Well I can't just, fabercate to him, with you still alive, idiot?! For the sake of Shangra La AND my hopes to control the World Scroll, it has to be done!"
Baofeng: "NOOO?! PLEASE?! DON'T DO THI-"
Jir Ki kicks Baofeng off as he screams to his doom, his disguise glitch to reveil bits of his true form!
Jir Ki: "..... My condoliences to your doomed daughter, Baofeng."
The other disgusied Chimons looked in fear of this as Jir Ki turned his attention to them.
Jir Ki: "..... WHAT'RE YOU IDIOTS WAITING FOR?! GO AFTER THE HEROES AND STOP THEM?! I have a message to make, and a powerful fate changing scroll to decode! Distract them as long as you can! Give up your lives if you have to! GO?!"
The Chimons leaped into thye air and went into battle!
Jir Ki: "..... I will redeem the Chimon name yet."
???: YOUR PLANS ARE NOT AS FLAWLESS AS YOU EXPECT, JIR! (Gazelle and Sunder rescued Baofeng)
Sunder rose to where the surprised Jir Ki is, and in due to her presence, his disguised glitch and reveiled his true Chimon form!
Jir Ki: "Well your rescue is fruitless, because I have already sent the entire temple after them and-"
The "Chi-Tanukis" were sent flying across the area and into the Shangra La palace as comical crashes are heard!
The Lougers and other heroes arrived.
Nick: "..... You were saying, Jeepers?"
Jir Ki:... Okay, I can explain.
Gazelle: You can't explain anything. It's clear that you're MORE than just what's wrong with the Chi-Tanuki name being tainted, even if they ARE not real. YOU WANT TO GO AFTER... A scroll?
Shifu: The Legendary World Scroll. It's one of the many things Shangri-La is known for, besides the supposedly mythical land of the Chi-Tanuki and the home of Zhanzheng. It's capable of... Well... Doing what the magic book can do in SpongeBob's world.
SpongeBob: Change things?
Shifu: A more specific term would be 'warp reality'. In the past, it was used as an alternative to time travel and other hazardous reality-warping powers. But since these powers are clearly too great for any use, the codes to the scroll had to be made as complex and confusing as possable, even for Chi Glass Eyes of the highest caliber. Hence why his is rendered semi-dysfuntional. The Chi Wolves of Balence were entrusted to the job of protecting the scroll, but the Chimons took over Shangra La for their misguided double-standerd purposes as an aim to redeem themselves of their demon heritage and be beloved in china.
Gazelle: Well, then, it's clear what they were here for. They were trying to complete their plans, but Lieren was trying to stop them.
Soothsayer: Precisely.
Liu: And thank you for rescuing my father! No thanks to YOU for trying to kill him!
Jir Ki: I HAD NO CHOICE! He was both an embarrising failure AND I needed to secure Zhan against you!
Shifu: Murder is NEVER a choice!
Jir Ki: Look, I don't have time for this! I've come TOO far to be stopped by the likes of you! I suggest you leave immediately, or I'll have to start taking this seriously.
Lord Shen: And let you do what you wish with that Scroll? I'm afraid that's not happening. You've no doubt caused Tsin to nearly kill himself with his out-of-control Chi and be no different than his uncle, AND to add insult to injury, you've been making the mythical Chi-Tanuki look awful.
Liu: Well, to be fair, I WAS considering MAKING them real.
Tsin:... You were?
Liu: But Jir Ki forbidden it.
Tsin:... And I have been given, ANOTHER REASON TO DISPISE YOU, JIR KI?!
Jir Ki: Oh thanks alot for reveiling that, you ungrateful exposed brat?! And, yeesh, I forgot that our true demon forms were not pleasent to look at, for pete's sake, once the Holy Chi Fire Phenox isn't around, I would like you to return to form!
Liu: "WE'RE THE SAME SPIECES, YOU JERK?! In fact, your not any better!"
Jir Ki: "Why do you think I wear the chi disguise, child?! I can't take this real form near mirrors without them breaking!"
Shifu: We cannot let you get away with this. If we leave you with that scroll, nobody is gonna be safe. You know that a scroll like that has the same devastating potential as any reality-warping power. It affects things before and after an event. Memories will be lost, babies will not be born, ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS COULD BE DESTROYED BY THE ACTIONS YOU REAP!
Jir Ki: I ensure you that's the oppisite of my intent! I seek to rid this world of tragedy, and ensure that-
Icky: (Sighs) Dude, have you CONSIDERED joining the Trifecta?
Jir Ki: "I'm sorry, the what?"
Icky: "At risk of advertising them, they're pretty much our series' equilent of the Sueiside Squad. They're a gang of tragity created super-villains dedicated to basicly do what your trying to do, but on a universe-wide scale and not through an obvious inspiration piece of the plot device from the Second Spongebob Movie."
Jir Ki: ".... Actselly, I might consider checking those guys out when I have the chance if this doesn't work out, BUT I HAVE GOOD REASON TO BELIEVE THAT IT WILL WORK?!"
Gazelle: Jir Ki, this is NOT you! You were created for a different reason than this.
Icky: "Uh, Gazelle, this guy's race was created by darkness and nothingness obcessed world destroying demons called the "Yaoguai". I'm pretty sure his kind were meant to be assholes but they turned out good because, hey, Chi is a demon purifier, who knew?"
Pinkie: "Actselly, that got me thinking, if Chi can purify normal demons, is it possable to use chi to purify Sombor so he doesn't have to be a statue anymore and maybe cure him of his morality illness?"
Shifu: "That's a discussion for another better time, Pinkie Pie."
Gazelle: "..... Well, think about it, Jir Ki. Do you ever wonder on why the Yaoguai didn't destroyed your kind if you were failed exspeariments?"
Jir Ki: "It's because they had deemed destroying us themselves, too merciful. They felt it be crueler to throw us into this world barely well defended against those that would fear us!"
Gazelle: "But your people were on the right track in using your powers for good. Why go through the extremes you went through?"
Jir Ki: "HAVE YOU EVEN SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY IN THIS BLASFOMUS WORLD?! Betrayal, hate, and revenge run rampent here like a bad weed infestation! No wonder our cruel masters wanted this world destroyed! It's worse then even them?!"
Icky: "Hey, sorry for changing the subject, but Pinkie's Somber suggestion had me thinking. Your clearly a demon created by even worse demons and yet you have a Tri-Fecta of Misery-eqsed goal. How are you NOT suffering from Morality Illness?"
Jir Ki: "Well that's the beauty of their mistake of granted us chi! It purifived our evil nature to good! By proxy, we ended up being harbingers of good!"
Icky: "But your clearly being abit of an asshole about it! And since your tecnecally meant to be good and yet your doing bad shit, how are you not coughing up blood like mad!"
Jir Ki: "Well DUH! I kept an amoral outlook about it. I do thinks like how any amoral god would do things, doing awful things for a greater good!"
Icky: "Yeah I figured, I just thought I established something."
Gazelle: "Did it ever accure to you Jir Ki, that maybe there's something wrong with your purity? Did you ever had these thoughts before?"
Jir Ki: "If you mean before the Shangra La takeover, then yes! I was encouraged to do so by this kind Duck Twins with the Sunglasses."
Po: ".... Duck twins? Sunglasses?"
Jir Ki: "Well yeah. They gave my chian extra boost to even pull all of this off!"
Shifu: "..... YOU DAMN IDIOT, THOSE DUCKS WERE YAOGUAI AGENTS IN DISGUISED?!"
Jir Ki: "...... That, explains alot. Well reguardless, I'm sticking to my guns and I am decoding that scroll! And even with the blasted fire bird, you can't stop me!"
Jir Ki makes a run for it as he used chi to activate the Palace's Chi-powered armed defences!
Icky: "OF COURSE, IT'S NEVER, THAT, EASY?!"
Gazelle: (She used her powers to try to lock them in place)...
Jir Ki: Defences smfences! I will still get to the world scroll, and-
???: That is ENOUGH!!!
Shifu/Tsin:... That voice! It's...
Icky: Sam Neill?
Shifu:... Close, actually.
Po: (As a Tanuki with two twin swords similar to the Sword of Heroes came in as Lord of the Rings-style music played as he wheezed in excitement)... Z-Z-Z-Z-ZHANZHENG CONG!!!!
Zhanzheng: You heroes are lucky I was returning to find the chaos Tsin caused on my way home.
Icky:... (Laughs) WOW! Sam Neill as Zhanzheng? Who would've guessed?
Jir Ki:... (Chuckles) Now, ZHan, this isn't what it looks like!
Zhanzheng: Jir Ki, it's clear that my senses of your true nature were right, especially with the lies you were spreading all throughout China. It seems I must personally deal with you, and prevent you from fulfilling the Yaoguai's goals.
Jir Ki: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM?! I WANT TO USE THAT SCROLL FOR CHINA'S SAKE?! IT WAS THE BEST OF INTENTIONS?!
Zhanzheng: (Scoffs) The WORST of things have been done with the best intentions. EVEN MURDER!
Jir Ki: Zhan, I earnestly only mean china's own good! I-
Zhanzheng: No! Your reign of terror and insult-making the name of Tanukis end now, Jir Ki. (Prepares his swords as they glowed in unbelievable energy)
Icky: "WAIT WAIT WAIT, HOLD UP, HOLD UP! (Zhan stopped)....... Ya don't have to anything extreme with this dumbass. We just need to get to Gazelle's new bling in the storage room, have her turn the fire bird into a Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts summon, and then see how that's gonna fix him. I mean, think about it, this guy and the other idiots clearly denounced the Yaoguai. Did it ever accure to you that those assholes are malmitulated these dumb dipshits into trying to get the scroll for them through their jackass of a leader?"
Zhan: "..... I, admit this to be true, the Yaoguai are deceptively clever."
Icky: "So take it easy on the extremes, ok? Ok."
Zhan: "Well, can I at least offer physical unfatal punishment to him? Fake or not, I still feel inclined to bring honor back to the chi-tanuki name!"
Icky: "That much, we won't stop you on."
Jir Ki: "Wait wait wait wait wait, Zhan, please! I only meant for bring a new good era to China! Wait! Stop! Don't! No?!"
Zhan: (He does a powerful Chi chant that seems to affect all the demons in the same way the Scooby Doo demons are affected by sunlight, as it doesn't kill them, but turns them into white glowing bodies of light that everyone gets blinded by)
Liu:... Father? Are you okay? And.... How come I am not, like that?
Zhan: "You were already pure enough to be spared from the progress of containtment. But they have lost their way that they must be place in containment, so the Uniter can complete the process with the assessery. But be forwarned. Our storage room is not like any other. It is designed to the brim with traps and defenses only the worthy can pass."
Trixie: "What about those Yaoguai agents? Won't they come back to get the scroll?"
Zhan: I assure you, I have planned ahead, and knew of their plans for a long time. So I ensured that the code for the Scroll was not only secured, but the Scroll as well.
Deadpool:... Crap! Another obstacle!
(WB Deadpool): Hey, you said it yourself, Rome wasn't built in a day.
(YB Deadpool): Yeah. You said that when Cable was building that flying Sentinel boot for ya' in your video game.
Deadpool: Don't remind me!
Zhan:... Who are you talking to?
Ralth: Don't ask. Your head will be okay if you don't ask.
Gazelle: Well, since we're obviously caught up in some serious issues, we'll have to split into groups. One group stays to fix the Chimons, the others find Hai Hoi.
Zhan: You seek Hai Hoi? Well, now, I know you guys came along way to get here, but I have promised to-
Iago: (With him) "Keep her whereabouts a secret"! THERE'S a big surprise! How many more have the same damn promise? I can get keeping a promise, but COME ON, we're on a time-table here. We NEED to beat this Modern Lu Kai bastard before he ends up making MORE Pang Bings.
Zhan: Do not worry. You can still find her. The Chi-Tanuki may not be real, but that doesn't mean what you're looking for isn't there.
Tsin:... Question, sir. Why say that they are real?
Zhan:... It appears you are due an explanation, great master of the Land of Prosperity. You see... I was once in your shoes when I sought enlightenment. I thought they were real as well, and just like you, I didn't take the news very well....
Flashback
(Zhan): I was around in the days when the founder of Kung Fu himself, Zhu Yīngxióng... (A panda similar to Po's dream avatar was seen. This was Zhu Yīngxióng as he practiced Kung Fu in the Sacred Pool of Tears)... Was in his eldest days. (Zhu went to an old age)... But despite that, he was STILL Kung Fu capable. (His strength came back and he continued fighting)... When I was just 14, and at the peek of my potential... (Zhanzheng as a child appeared at the Sacred Pool)... I came to him for guidance. But he said that I had to pass a rigorous test of strength, honor, and sacrifice, as my species was a legend on par with his species. So... (They trained and fought)... I fought, and surpassed him. And on his final breath, he told me to find 'The Chi-Tanuki Valley in Shangri-La'. When he turned into Chi, I followed his guidance, and after years of searching, clue after clue, I finally found my destination. So you can imagine the shock I felt when I learned from the Chi-Wolves of Balance informed me of the truth of the Chi-Tanuki. Feeling lied to, I went on a Dark Chi rampage that Lieren's ancestor, The White Chi Wolf, stopped me and spoke for Zhu, telling me that he wished for me to have faith in myself, and that he didn't necessarily lie to me, as what he told me was true, from a certain point of view. And by that, he meant me. So... With newfound faith, I realized what he truly planned. He wanted me to purify the legend of the Chi-Tanuki, AS a Chi-Tanuki. So, I did.
Present
Zhan: So as you can see, all I did in the past, and what I said about being leader of the Chi-Tanuki, is technically true, as it is what Zhu wanted for me. I wanted people to lose faith in them, so they can have faith in themselves. Oogway himself knew of the myth himself when he came to me.
Icky:... Wow, you're older than you look.
Zhan: That's what Chi does to you. Sometimes it can extend your lifespan. So, you see, Tsin Shu, your mother is not truly out of hope. It is tragic what occurred with your family, but I was around when Qi-Chan was alive, and shared those theories of a Chiki-Tanuki, a Tanuki who mastered both Chi and Ki in pure harmony, and wielded it with pure raw efficiency. Masu was such, but only at it's darkest form. You have great potential to make them more than real. So do not make the same mistake I almost did, and ensure that Tanuki have greater hope. Start, by aiding Gazelle in her quest to purify the Chimons and ensure that they are free from the control of the Yaoguai.
Tsin: (Bows) Yes, sir!
Duke: I might as well go with, too. Gazelle's my responsibility.
Boss Wolf: "I'm gonna be with team Shangra La. I, feel like I owe ma and pa, alot of explaining."
Pang Bing: "Is it really wise to seperate, knowing that the Modern Lu Kai is on the loose? His forces will take advantaged of the seperation."
Gazelle: Then we can inform each other. We have magic.
Pang Bing: But doesn't he have the same thing?
Gazelle: We CAN sense when he sabotages our communications. I'm strong enough to sense such a thing.
Mayfly: Indeed. The Uniter Princess has enough power to surpass any interception of telepathic magic. We have known that spell for eons.
Deadpool: Hope so. Now, let's put an asshole out of his-
Skipper: You better keep those swords where I can see them, ugly!
Fire: Well, it seems we have a plan. We split up, and alert each other on our progress, or in case Lu Kai sticks his big bull nose where it doesn't belong.
Kun Lao: Do know that's kind of a speciesist term for oxes and bulls.
Fire: Well, like before, it can be justified when the insulted deserves it.
Gazelle: Still doesn't justify much.
Duke: BREAK! (They split up)
Pang Bing: ".... I still feel far from comfertable."
Icky: "Hey try not to be so swallowed up by being anxious. We splited up several times before and I can only count few off chances it went poorly."
Pang Bing: "FEW?!"
Icky: "Well those times were mainly either unintentional or because of a problem that happened on off-beat time. But trust me, intentional split-ups usually go great."
Pang Bing: ".... If the aim was to cure my nerves, it failed."
Lord Shen: "Oh worry not your feline head, Pang. As long as we're careful, not even these false Yetis can be a true burden."
Pang Bing sighed, still anxious.
Storage Room.
Long and extended hallways.
Trixie: "This quilifives as a storeage room? It looks bigger then it should."
Zhan: "That's the beauty of it's illusion. It's intentionally designed to be more tricker then your normal storage area."
Gilda: "Well, so far so good. Everything seems harmless enough."
The group pass a series of dorment and empty suits of armor resembling rhinos.
As the group passes them, the heads slowly turn to look at them.
Gazelle: ".... Ever get the feeling, your being watched?"
Zhan: "Be careful. We're pretty much near the first trial. It's only a matter of time before-"
The other suits of armor they haven't passed yet quickly looked at their direction!
Duke: "WHA?!"
The Suits, from front and behind, stepped down from their podiums, weapons donned.
Gilda: "..... Living Suits of armor..... It just had to be, living suits of armor."
Thunderclap: "(Laughs abit with a squack.)..... Very funny, Zhan. Now tell your friends to take the costumes off."
Zhan: "Keep in mind. These are empty suits of old battle armor processed by chi, designed to be the storage room's first line of defence. Even I cannot make them yeild. In this trail, you have to defeat them to be allowed to move forword."
Duke: "Well you live here. Can't you just shut them off?"
Zhan: "They've been here before my time. Only a Chi-Balencer can control them."
Duke gulps as the armor approuched.
Patrick: "I got this, guys!"
He does this again.
I got a chainsaw
Awkword silence.
Patrick: ".... Uh-oh-"
A Suit of Armor smacks Patrick away!
Patrick screams!
Gilda: "PATRICK!"
CRASH!
Patrick was pwn'd.
Patrick: "(Dazed) Anyone up for chinese?"
The Suits entered attack position.
Trixie: "Trixie changes her mind, I'm going with the Pang Bing group!"
Trixie tries to run, but Suits block her exit!
A Suit of Armor with a pike aimed to slice and dice Trixie!
Gilda: "TRIX!"
Gilda intervined for Trixie and grabbed the pike, entering a struggle with the suit, as another one with a frail was charging in trying to help it's comrade!
Gazelle: "GILDA, WATCH OUT?!"
Gilda: (She grabbed another suit by the foot, and kicked into other suits)...
Trixie: (She was panicking as much as she did when she met Thorax until Gilda slapped her)
Gilda: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!! (She roars at the suits, but they do not back down)
Zhan:... They have literally no fear because they're just Chi-possessed suits of armor.
Gilda: Well, you can't blame a griffin for trying. (She tugs Trixie out of the suits' grasp, and flies through the armor with a bowling strike sound as they shattered, yet reassembled themselves)
Trixie: THEY'RE STILL ALIVE!!!
Gilda: Yeah, how about that?
Zhan: Yeah, how about that?
Duke: TANUKI, YOU HAVE CHI SWORDS, DO SOMETHING!!!
Zhan: This is not my responsibility.
Duke: BULLS*** IT ISN'T, YOU'RE LEADING GAZZY THROUGH HERE, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS HELP US FIGHT THESE TINCANS!!!
Zhan: Chi attacks only make them stronger. They can absorb attacks based around it.
Duke: THEN USE YOUR NORMAL ATTACKS, DAMMIT!!! DON'T STAND THERE LIKE THAT FALSE GOD IN MARVILLE!!!
Gazelle: (Sighs) Guys, give it up! I'm sure he has his reasons. Just let me handle this. He's right, it's my journey, and mine alone.
Trixie: AND US?!?
Gazelle: You're just here to have my back.
Boss Wolf: AND ME?!?
Gazelle: AMONG OTHER THINGS!!! SANTOS PINZONES DE DARWIN!!! (She begins fighting the suits of armor)
Gilda: "This is why I hate fighting living suits of armor!"
Trixie: Less talk, more brawl!
Gazelle: (She uses her powers to fight back against the suits of armor as they put up a good fight against her, though she manages to fight them off, and eventually, defeated the armor suits.)
Zhan:... Good work, Uniter Princess. You have passed the first test. But be warned, that it gets harder down the road.
Boss Wolf: Uh, yeah, when HASN'T that been the case, Master Know-It-All? (Duke slaps him as he made a whine)
Duke: Don't push it, muttsy!
Zhan: Now let us move.
Later down the hallway.
A room waiting at the end of the hall was seen as the group entered it.
Two doors were seen, both identical.
Gilda: "...... This is gonna be one of those guess the right door things, isn't it?"
Two statues that rested in the cealing, two feminate bodied Kirins, (They look like this), suddenly began to break and expose and elegant creatures as they leap from the cealing and flipped down to ground and landed with sumersaults and spun around the room and finally stopped around the space between them and the doors.
Trixie: "....... Show-offs."
Gilda: "Glass houses, Trix. Glass, houses."
Kirin 1: "We, are the Kirin Sisters, travelers..... Oh Hi Zhanny!"
Kirin 2: "(Quietly and sternly) Damn it Qui-Qui, we're suppose to be serious!"
Kirin 1 (Qui-Qui): "Oh, sorry Wi-Wi."
Thunderclap laughed!
Thunderclap: "Your name's "Wee-Wee?!" Who names themselves after pee? (Laughs)!"
Kirin 2 (Wi-Wi): "(Groans), It's "W" and "I", not W-E-E!"
Trixie: "Don't mind Thunderclap, he has the mentality of a child because he was the last one to hatch from an egg."
Wi-Wi: ".... I can guess. Anyway, to pass this room, you need to guess with one of us will tell the truth,"
Qui-Qui: "And which one of us is pulling your leg."
Wi-Wi: "(Sternly) Or to put it more PROFESSIONALLY, (Seriously) Which one of us lies. But be warned, only one door will lead you to the hallway to the storage room."
Qui-Qui: "The other's a one-way portal to the meanest part of the underworld."
Gilda: "As suppose to the rest of it being paradise?"
Wi-Wi: "(Groans), Look, I'm sorry about my sister, she's abit of an airhead, comes with being my little sister. She meant to say the worse part of the Underworld, as in a place worse then the ambysal existence of it as a whole."
Trixie: "Well this will be easy. The unprofessional one is obviously the lier."
Wi-Wi: "Looks can be deceving. I might be the dishonest one, and Qui-Qui could be telling the truth. Our quirks and traits are designed to mislead those with less then honest intentions."
Gilda: ".... So, Zhan, you know these two?"
Zhan: "I saved these two from a japanise freakshow owner that wanted to make side attractions out of them. I have them live in Shangra La ever since?"
Duke: "So which one's the dirty lying rat and the other's the girlscout?"
Wi-Wi: "We're standing before you, idiot."
Qui-Qui: "And, well, it's kinda a rule that he can't help."
Duke/Trixie/Gilda: "Figures."
Boss Wolf: Well, wolf! We're stuck in a Labyrinth trap! How do we know which one is the liar and which one is the truthy?
Duke:... Have anyone by any chance seen that SMG4 episode that had a similar situation to this?
Gazelle: Unfortunately, yes, but it doesn't exactly help that much. While he DID make a valid point concerning the liar telling the wrong path to be a jerk and so the opposite route is the right past... THEN HOW DID HE KNOW WHO WAS THE LIAR AND WHO WASN'T?!?
Duke:... I..... That is a good point, how DID he knew that.
Gazelle: So, yeah, that parody video isn't exactly a good place to start. Allow me to read their-
Zhan: One thing about that, they have psychic shields, so it's not easy to get the info from them with mind-reading spells.
Mayfly: He's right. I tried before. Their minds are as fortified as the Pentagon.
Frostbite: Well, crap! What do we do now?
Thunderclap: "Well why not just ask them, about them?"
Gilda: "..... Your kidding, right?"
Thunderclap: "I'm being serious! I mean, if we asked them about their lifes, then one of them will make up an awesome story while the other will play it straight! That way, we will know which one's the lier and which is the, truther."
Gazelle: "..... An, unconventional method, but, it sounds useful."
Thunderclap: "Ok, ok, let me try! (Ahem!)..... So, ladies...... Had you two been anywhere lately?"
Wi-Wi: Well, I don't like to brag, but we were QUITE awesome back in Japan-
Everyone: Qui-Qui's the truthy!
Qui-Qui:... Really? Just like that?
Zhan: Well, to be fair, starting off with words like THAT explain your liar history automatically.
Qui-Qui:... He makes a good point, sis.
Wi-Wi: (Sighs) Dammit!
Zhan: Yeah, for the Japanese variant of Qilin, they weren't exactly the most popular of their kind. Why do you think they ended up in that freak show to begin with? Well, aside from being mythic beings.
Wi-Wi:... Hurtful, bro!
Qui-Qui: But not inaccurate.
Wi-Wi: DON'T RUB IT IN, QUI-QUI!!!
Gazelle: "So, which one is the door to the storage room and which is the door to the underworld?"
Qui-Qui: "Well, I remember this one thief guy who went on the door to the right. Some scary force sucked him in and..... Well, he just never came back."
Windgust: "That's DIFFENTLY the hell door. So how's about we make a tree and leave left?" (They did so)
Zhan:... My condolences, girls. (They bowed to each other as he left)
Qui-Qui:... What nice fellows.
Wi-Wi: Seem a little weird though.
Qui-Qui: "..... I wish we warned them about the Jaded Dragon though at the end of the storage."
Wi-Wi: "Hey, if they can handle those creepy armors from earlier, I'm sure that freaky jade freak is no problem. Besides, Zhan will cover that soon."
Qui-Qui: "Oh. Good point."
Later, at the end of the new hallway.
Many treasured items are seen, including the Uniter Blade Assassery surrounded by a giant surreling Jaded Dragon the near size of Ke-Pa with extra length.
The Group enters.
Trixie: "(Sees the Jaded Dragon)...... (Sarcasticly) Gee, I wonder what we'll encounter next."
Gazelle: "Sarcasum aside, I agree.... This looks too easy compaired to what was earlier encountered."
Zhan: "And you'd be right. That Jaded Dragon Statue you see, is a jaded creation made in honor of the King of the Dragon Gods."
Boss Wolf: You mean Yinglong?
Zhan: "That's actually one of the most-known minor head Dragon Gods. It is the guardian of any treasure in the storage of Shangra La, which includes the Assassery. The minute you contain the assassery, you must fight it to prove yourself worthy. Be warned, the statue is designed and meant to not hold back for anyone, basicly being meant to discourage thieves."
Duke: "Oooh, like the walking Suits and the Sexy Dragon-Horse Circus Actrobats that mislead them to the door to hell isn't enough, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GIANT JADED LIMBED SNAKE MONSTER TO TOP OFF THIS DEATH TRAP?! Did you guys REALLY need to make A STORAGE ROOM THE MOST DANGERIOUS EVER?!"
Zhan: "Shangra La holds the greatest treasures and the greatest weapons and our universes' greatest secrets here. Any of them falling in the wrong hands would not be benifital. So yes.... Making our storage hold, "A death trap", is indeed nessersary."
Boss Wolf: Yeah, idiot, that's something even a HERO should know.
Duke: Okay, fine, let's just deal with these jaded snake-thing.
Gazelle: Let's just hope they're not THAT hard to deal with.
Mayfly: I wouldn't be so hopeful. The power I sense in that statue feels enough to blow up an entire planet.
Trixie: Nothing we haven't tackled before. Besides, blowing up a planet is easy for anyone at this point. Many of SpongeBob's Nicktoon friends' enemies have done so, like the Darkness, and that bastard of a GFed high-profile criminal terrorist Meldan Prime. And THEY were defeated quickly.
Gilda: Yeah, but Meldar's power was not easy to beat.
Trixie: Nevertheless. Glad he's in life imprisonment with a implant that is programmed to blow up if he blows up another planet, but point is, it's nothing we can't handle.
Zhan: (Sighs) You heroes are as underestimating to your enemies as they are to you.
Gazelle: Well try not to be too discouraged. When you congured enough villains, nothing easily intimidates you anymore. Okay, let's get the assassery.
Trixie: Eh, we don't have to touch it, we can levitate it!
Zhan: I wouldn't-
Trixie: (She did so)... See? All too easy-
???: (Cave of Wonders-esque voice) INFIDELS!!!
Zhan:... It can sense motion.
Trixie:... OH, NOW YOU TELL US!!!
???: YOU HAVE COME TO CLAIM THE HIGHLY-PROTECTED ACCESSORY OF THE UNITER BLADE!! (The jade statue came to life)... PROVE YOURSELF IN A FIGHT FOR HONOR, OR YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!!
Gilda:... Trixie, I swear to God, if I die, you'd better f****** die with me!
Trixie: (As the Jade Dragon appeared in glory as it roared, breathing Chi fire)... (She panicks like crazy)
Zhan:... I will not lie to you, Uniter Princess, your friends are DEFINITELY better off sticking together. (The Jaded Dragon attacked)
Gazelle: (She fought if off) EVERYONE, GET BACK!! (They did so)
Boss Wolf: "OH WAY TO BE AN IDIOT, TRIXIE?!"
Trixie: WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR BEING IMPATIENT AFTER THE TIME WE HAVE!!! I WAS THIS CLOSE TO FINISHING THIS HELLHOLE, BUT THEN WE GO VIDEO GAME LOGIC AND SOMETHING BLOCKS THE VERY IMPORTANT OBJECT!!!
Zhan:... (Sighs)
Gazelle: GUYS, IF YOU'RE DONE BICKERING LIKE PRESCHOOL CHILDREN, THEN I COULD USE SOME HELP!!!
Trixie: "But you said you wanted us get back!"
Gazelle: "Well, I may've misjudged this jaded dragon's power and now I know that he is not gonna be a solo act! I'm gonna need help!"
Boss Wolf: I don't know, you seem to be pretty fine doing it- (Chi fire blazed him into cartoonish ash)... Ow!
Mayfly: (Sighs as she snaps and restores him)
Boss Wolf:... Alright, let's tag in! (They helped fight off the beast except for Zhan and Duke...)
Duke:... DUDE, YOU STILL AREN'T GONNA HELP THEM?!?
Zhan: Why? I'm the one who guided you here. If I were to help, it'd undermine the entire point of your journey.
Duke: All I heard was 'blah-blah-blah I'm a p***y'- (He was smacked to the wall comically)
Gazelle: (Sighs) DUKE, NOT HELPING!! (They continued fighting the Jade Dragon as it powered up)
Boss Wolf: (He tries to bite the Dragon, only for his teeth to cartoonishly shatter)... OWWWCH!!!
Gilda:... IT'S FRICKING JADE, YOU DUMB MUTT!!!
The Jade Dragon continued attacking as it coiled around the heroes, Gazelle managing to shield them as they were trapped.
Trixie: (Screams like a man) WE'RE GONNA GET SMUSHED!!!
Gazelle: Trixie, this is NO time to panic! Nor unrealistic screams! Seriously, I do NOT get the logic behind that! (She unleashes all the power she had as the Jade Dragon wasn't affected, nor even so much as a noticeable scratch)... WHAT?!?
Boss Wolf:... Well, I'd say this is a perfect time to panic!
Trixie: SO DO WE PANIC?!?
Gazelle: NO!
Gilda: YES!
Mayfly: WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW!!! This is the Uniter's path, so... At least do SOMETHING!!!
Gazelle:... (Takes a deep breath as the coils began to break apart the shield)
Duke: (As he and Zhan watched as the Dragon continued to coil)... So, are you STILL gonna be a pu- (Zhan punched him into a wall) OUMPH!!! I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YE- (A crack was heard) YAH!!... As a ye- (Crack) AH!!... A ye- (Crack) AH!!... You know what, I'm just gonna shut up right now.
Mayfly: (As she managed to heal the shield as much as she could) Gazelle, please hurry!
Gazelle: I'm making this up as I go! (She started to channel a Chi-like energy mixed with magic energy)
Thunderclap: Whatever you're doing, you'd better unleash it fast!
Downpour: That's what she said!
Gilda: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!? WE'RE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES!!!
Downpour: Hey, this is how much of us find our happy place. Add a little comedy to the plight.
Gilda: WELL, IT DOESN'T HELP THAT MUCH!!
Gazelle: EVERYONE JUST BE QUIET SO I CAN CONCENTRATE!!
Trixie: Oh, sure, it's not that hard... (We cut to her head as her Inside Out-like emotions were panicking in an inferno)
Anger Trixie: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIII-HII-HII-HII-HIIIIIIIEEE!!! (They continued panicking until Trixie herself finally started panicking as Mayfly face-palmed, then snapped, and put a sound-proof shield around Gazelle)...
Mayfly:... I swear, you guys need a lot, MORE, to learn about being heroes.
Coldfront: Hey, who said you needed to be perfect to be a hero?
Duke: (He bites his fingernails and toenails off worrying for Gazelle's safety)
Zhan: (He watched and hoped for the best)...
Duke: (He grabbed and shook him) DO SOMETHING, PLEASE, YOU BIG PU- (Crack) AH!! (He fell)
Zhan: (He just went back to watching)
Duke: ".... Worse, legendary hero, ever."
Gazelle: (As the coils went closer as they were cartoonishly being strangled, Gazelle unleashed all she had in a Chi-Magic blast that actually managed to harm it)
Duke:... YES!!! (Shakes Zhan again) I KNEW YOU WERE WISE! STANDING THERE LIKE A PU- (He cramped)... A DEAD FISH ACTUALLY HELPED THEM!!!
Zhan:... (Sighs)
Gazelle: (She recovered from the blast)... How did I do?
Zhan:... It doesn't seem dead, but it seems defeated.
Jade Dragon: Well done, Uniter Princess! You have defeated me in battle. Thus, the accessory to your Uniter Blade is yours. Use it well! (It returned back to a basic statue)
Gazelle:... Well, thank you.
Frostbite: (Chuckles) We're alive! WE'RE ALIVE!!! YEEEEAAA- (A crack was heard) YAAH!!
Duke: Yeesh, what the hell were those Jade Dragon capable of besides destroying fricking planets?
Zhan: It was a jade creation made in honor of the King of the Dragon Gods. Even a sage would only scratch the surface of it's capabilities. Now, it seems that the Uniter Princess has completed her journey.
Trixie: Thank Celestia! I almost had a heart attack!
Gazelle: AND screamed like a man! YEESH, that is so weird.
Boss Wolf: Only as weird as a guy screaming like a girl.
Thunderclap: OOOHH, BURN!!
Gazelle: Yeah, but it doesn't make sense because usually a guy is able to heighten his pitch to sound like a girl. As for a girl? Believe me, I tried, it's not exactly as easy.
Boss Wolf: Cartoon logic, Gazzy! Cartoon lazy fricking logic. Now shut up and acknowledge that you got what you came here for, and use it to purify those freaky Scooby-Doo rabbit-demon chi things.
Duke: And before we end up with more excruciatingly-painful muscle spasms.
Gazelle: Alright, then, p***y!
Duke: YOU CALL ME A PU- (Crack) AH!!
Zhan:... Keep in mind that I used a technique that is an insult-proof technique made by a jokester Chi master that quickly caught on. So, it's advisable you never use that word for the following week.
Duke:... Well, crap! Eh, at least it's a week, so hopefully I won't be in as much agony as that Max Pu- (Crack) AAHHH!! I THINK IT BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!!
Gilda: (Scoffs). I see why you like to hang with this guy, Gazzy. He's hilarious.
Gazelle: "I had slightly stronger reasons for being around him, but yeah, he's a funny little weasel."
Outside the Storage room.
Lieren and Wag Lang and the other wolves of Exsile arrived at the city and saw the glowing balls.
Wag Lang: "...... Did we, miss something here? I was kinda expecting an epic fight and a city in ruins, and all we got is glowing balls?"
Lieren: "I wager that Zhan finally got wise.... Or rather, was never truely tricked."
Wag Lang: "Well if so, that guy works in ways that are mysterious and head-hurting!"
Sunder was seen waiting outside the storage room.
Wag Lang: "Aw no, they didn't went inside the storage room without us, did they? I could've been able to momentarly shut down the traps so they wouldn't have to go through hell."
Lieren: "Oh don't worry dear, anything in that storage room won't be a great inconvinence. Sure, I imagined the less enlighten would complain, but Gazelle is a capable enough fighter and would manage fine."
Wag Lang: "I know the Uniter would be fine. I was actselly more worried about the non-fighter or less stronger lougers. They look like they fit the catagory of being easy outs."
Lieren: "You would be surprised on what they can survive through."
???: Funny thing is, mom isn't exactly wrong. (The group arrived)
Boss Wolf: Because when it comes to a cartoon, we can survive anything.
Lieren:... See? They made it out fine.
Gazelle: Well, now that I have the accessory, let's see if we can do something about this.
Wag Lang:... Where are the others?
Duke: We split up. They're headed for Hai Hoi's place to deal with Pang's mental crisis while we deal with this crisis.
Lieren:... You do know that the Himalayas are crawling with Lu Kai's Yeti goons, right?
Thunderclap: Look who you're talking to, lady. We're the goddamn Shell Lodge Squad... Yeah, Mushu was right, it DOESN'T sound just as awesome as 'goddamn Batman'! Anyway, nothing was able to hinder much of an obstacle to us in the past.
Boss Wolf: Yeah. Hell, much of us died before and were resurrected. Shen killed me for refusing to fire a cannon and risk friendly fire. Then Soothsayer had me resurrected and I spent much of my life in an Ice Age-style world, and me and Shen ended up helping the top Princess of Heart be reunited with one of her first past faces, right after helping a hunter redeem his animal-murdering incident after spending time with it's cub.
Lieren:... By Yinglong!
Boss Wolf: Oh, relax, it was just a flesh-wound. The stab didn't exactly kill me, but the fact that I couldn't swim was what killed me. Soothsayer didn't resurrect me like the Villain League would, as she renounced such a spell for obvious reasons. She just revived me the same way she did the dumb panda when I washed off on the river.
Wag Lang: (Laughs) No offense, son, but, WOW! What a way to go out like a pansy.
Lieren: But at least he showed concern for his kin, so it's not exactly a way to go out like a pansy. It's in our wolf instinct to look out for our kin, so we'll gladly disobey our superiors if it means preservation of greater numbers.
Boss Wolf: Yeah, and it was worth the stab to the chest.
Trixie:... You are a noble wolf.
Boss Wolf: Well, I... Kinda take it after my biological mother here. Speaking of which, I think it's best you guys go off without me. It's time I rekindled with my heritage.
Gilda: You sure you want to?
Boss Wolf: If you meet YOUR biological parents, then maybe you'd ask the same. Now get onto curing the Chimons.
Gazelle:... What about their creators? You'd, think this would be the part of the adventure where they come in to be a problem.
Thunderclap: "Then that would've been TOO last minute and un-nessersary. I mean, if there's one thing I got to agree with the talking ape in that red costume, we are tackling WAY more problems then we're suppose to."
Zhan: Not to worry. I dealt with them before I got here. They will not be a problem here for a while. So do what you must.
Gazelle:... Very well! (She uses the accessory on her Uniter Blade as Sunder shines and turns into engry and joins with the assessory, as it shows brand new magical energy as it spins across the blade, then she shines the energy on the glowing balls that were the Chimons until they took on a new form, which appeared as a miniature Zoni-like version of their Chi forms, having bright elaborate green or yellow eyes, long ears, white bodies with green or yellow auras, and were glowing brightly upon their transformation.)
Boss Wolf: Holy crap, you look like the Zoni of Chi!
Jir Ki: (He recovered and even had a new voice)... Uhhgh... What happened?..... And..... AM I SHORT ALL OF THE SUDDEN?!
Gazelle: You and your Chimons have been cured of the disharmonic forms the Yaoguai made you to be. You are now greater forms.
Baofeng:... (Also with another voice)... I... I feel less... Less bitter.
Jir Ki: So do I!
Baofeng:... Where is my daughter?
???: FATHER! (Liu came, still in the usual Chimon form)... Is that you?
Baofeng:... Yes, it's me! (She was surprised of her father's form as the two hugged)
Mayfly: Aw, that's sweet. (The hug suddenly affected Liu as she gained the new form herself, yet had the same voice)...
Liu:... WHOA!
Gazelle:... I believe my work here is done.
Duke: Yeah. Now we can join our friends in the Himalayas. Darwin knows what's up with them.
Lieren: Actually, I can feel that they are in Yeti marching territory. They could be in trouble, and with their superior powers and numbers, they won't last long without support.
Boss Wolf:... You guys better head on out. I've gotta learn of my true heritage.
Gazelle:... I wish you luck then, Boss Wolf! (They teleported away)
Wag Lang:... Why do they call you that? I mean, yeah, you lead Shen's wolves, but why still call yourself that?
Boss Wolf: One, when my true name was revealed, they laughed. Second, it's a name of title, so I'm kinda stuck with it.
Lieren:... Well, then, come with me, son. I have a lot to show you.
Boss Wolf: I'll bet you do.
Liu: And... What about us? The Yaoguai are soon to come back and try to restore our former forms.
Lieren: Then you shall live with us and under our protection. It's the least we can do.
Boss Wolf: "Wow..... Your, awfully quick to forgive the guys that basicly booted you out of what was once yours."
Lieren: They simply had potential to be cured of the Yaoguai's influence, so I had a plan to purify them for a while. Now, come.
Boss Wolf: Okay, your the rightful Shangra La leader. (They left)
Chapter 4: The 'Yeti' Army/Seeking Hai Hoi/Pang's Redemption[]
Later...
Savio: (As they approached the Himalayas region while following Mekong)... Oh, God, not another frozen area!
Mekong: Indeed, it's hard for even Hai Hoi to cope with this climate as it is the last place for a cold-blooded animal to be in. But sometimes, master reptiles have gone for DAYS, and even WEEKS, through climates like this.
Savio: That does NOT make me feel any comfortable, MASTER!
Mekong: (Sighs) Oh, bother!
Little Foot: He's right. We dinosaurs can't cope with this weather, either.
Icky: And your Big Freeze movie?
Cera: Two words: Cartoon, logic!
Gricky: Yeah, you might've known that, blockhead! (Bonks him on the head)
Mekong: Let's just persevere as much as we can as- (Suddenly, stomps were heard)...
Batty: *BZZZAT* I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon!
Shifu: I think we might have company. (He points out an entire marching line of Yetis as music played)
Gricky: "Looks like our Modern Lu Kai has sent his monkeys out to play."
Kowalski: I think we should hide.
Skipper: You THINK?
Mekong: JUST DO IT! (They went as the Yetis sung this)
Where there's a whip, there's a way!
Tigress: (Seeing their mistreatment)... That's just low!
Iago: Ancient Chinese Imperialism at it's lowest.
Icky: "...... Really? They're singing the song from the old Lord of the Rings three cartoon? Ya know that shit was extremely obscured. Baskin was NO Peter Jackson."
Mushu: No doubt there are a couple of things I KNOW they're bound to notice here. With those numbers, we don't stand a chance!
Thundera:... I have an idea.
Banzai: (As they were using their bodies and snow to disguise themselves as Yetis)... This is insaspirating!
Bill: Not exactly helping with us cold-blooded reptiles either.
Thundera: Well, if you wanna stay alive and not get mauled by overgrown baboons, you may as well have to cope with it. An opportunity will come.
???: HEY, SNOWBALLS!!! (A Yeti with a whip appeared) GET YOUR BALD ASSES BACK IN LINE! (He lashes his whip)
Thundera: (Disguising as a Yeti herself with her magic) Uh, YES, SIR!! RAAAHHHRRGG!!! (They joined in on the line)
Po: (As they followed)... You think this might actually lead us to Lu Kai?
Thundera: Maybe, maybe not. But this might be a chance to find our way to Hai Hoi. Once we hear of their plans and her location, we get out of dodge, warn her of the impending doom, and we're home free.
Pang Bing: Well, it better be worth it. Wearing a bunch of snow on me is likely not gonna end well. Espeically if this melts.
Whipping Yeti: "Now try to remember you apes. We're not going to anywhere in particular. We're just doing our rotine patrols and repeat them endlessly until it's time to go back."
Baznai: "(Quietly) Dude, these guys aren't even going anywhere impourent?!"
Icky: "(Quietly) And now we're stuck to listening to a dumb needless baskin song for nothing!"
Deadpool: ("Kill me, kill me, kill me!")
Brandy: (Sighs) Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll pick a fight with strangers.
Thundera:... You know, you may be right. Look over there! (They saw another path with shipments as they crossed)
Duck Delivery Guy: HEY! What the hell do you local Yeti freaks think you're doing?
Whip Yeti:... Well, you see, we were just in the area, and we discovered that there's a good place for a ski. There's hot cocoa, games, and a lot of other fun stuff to do so we can get out of this intense weather- WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK WE'RE DOING?!? We're patrolling!
Duck Delivery Guy: Uh, pal, do know that we citizens go before your kind. (Takes out a scroll) It's stated by Emperor Mah Jong that any native people are to go after outsiders under penalty of law-
Whip Yeti: (Takes the scroll and rips it)... What, are you blind? Do you KNOW how big we are?
Duck Delivery Guy:... Sir, you do know that ripping a law scroll is a punishable offense, right?
Whip Yeti: WE HAVE NO LAWS!!
Duck Delivery Guy:... SECURITY! (They held him at crossbow point)... I'm not going to ask again. Wait your turn.
Whip Yeti:... (Growls)
Thundera: NOW HOLD ON JUST A SEC-
Iago dragged her back in!
Iago: "(Quietly) Thundera, we can't endanger the civilians, armed security or not?!"
Thundera: "(Quietly) Well how else are we gonna lose these hairy monkeys? I'll just have magical clones in their place."
Iago: "(Quietly) Uh, they have Chi! They can see through illusions. Plus, it just doesn't feel right. It's gotta be through someone who kinda deserves it."
Thundera: Well then, why don't you just rip your tail feathers out, and kiss our one chance goodbye?
Iago: (Sighs) Honey, please!
Thundera: Aw, come on, what are the chances that some greedy morons are gonna come bursting in and-
Suddenly, the convoy gets ambushed by Outsider Ox Bandits.
Ox Bandits stopped the group from moving.
Bandit Leader: "Allright, you quacks! Surrender the goods, or this will be a long wait."
The Yetis groaned!
Whip Master: "Are you kidding me?"
Iago: "(Quietly).... Those bandits, are the other-hand, are in due need of yeti karma."
Thundera smiled to this.
Thundera: "Sir, your not gonna let those bandits hurt the convoy?"
Whip Master: "I don't recollect asking your opinion, OR FOR YOU TO LEAVE RANK?!"
Icky: "Think about it, Bossman. Those bandits are gonna make that convoy move even slower, and get in the way of the patrol."
The Whip Master ponders this....
Whip Master: ".... Well fer one thing, those bandits aren't with Lord Lu Kai, but in another, it wouldn't do us well to scare away potaintional aide."
Icky: "Think about it. The guys are exhausted from all the walking and singing, and are likely hungry. It would hurt you more to lose any of them to starvation. I think Ol' Lu would forgive losing out on those cows in faver of preserving the men you DO got!"
Deadpool: "Exactly?! The Beef's gotta go! The Beef's Gotta Go!"
Yetis: "THE BEEF'S GOTTA GO?! THE BEEF'S GOTTA GO?!"
The Whip Master's been won over....
Whip Master: "..... MEN, CONSIDER THOSE COWS, TARGET PRACTICE?! CHARGE?!"
The Yetis charged at the surprised Ox Bandits as a battle ensued! The leader Bandit stared in shock!
Leader Bandit: "LU KAI'S YETIS HAVE GONE MAD?! I'LL MAKE SURE THE BANDIT COMMUNITY REJECTS LU KAI FOR THIS?! ALL BANDITS, ALREADY WITH HIM OR NOT, WILL GROW TO REJECT THE LU KAI NAME, REGUARDLESS OF HIS PROMISES TO MAKE THE LAW MORE LAXXED ON CRIME?!"
The Yetis and the Bandits fought as the convoy is in panic!
Security leader: "Get the shipment back to the palace?! We'll keep both of these psycos off?!"
Delivery Duck: "D'ohhh, and this was an impourent trade dilivery too!"
The Ducks panicly turned the convoy away as the Security team entered the free-for-all!
The Heroes were at a reasonable distence.
Icky: "..... I hope that shipment wasn't impourent, or we may effectively made the royal family hate us."
Deadpool: "Hey, look at the positive side. At least we both got rid of another intermediate threat, AND, we made the Modern Lu Kai's name mud in the criminal community! They'll never take the guy seriously if they're afraid of spontanious ape-men attacks! AND, no civilian casualties."
Icky: "Why do you say that like it's a normal thing for you?"
Deadpool: Don't ask questions you already know the answer to, you LB4T one-shot.
Icky: "Shrude!"
Thundera:.... You need to learn to trust me on these things abit more, Iago!
Iago: Let it go, honey! Let's just GTFO! (They left)
Several Monk figures over-watched the whole thing, lead by a short one.
Monk 1: "..... Those misfits just delayed an impourent trade shipment to a city plagued by mongolian settlers. That city is left defenceless and at a mercy. Those misfits are reckless."
Monk 2: "And they wasted their time going around a patrol that leads neither to our carefully hidden temple, NOR that idiot Lu Kai desendent's base. Reckless, AND aimless."
Monk 1: "None of them are worthy to bask in your light for whaver trival reason they process."
Monk leader: "...... Dear Brothers, do not be quick to rule them out. We can't expect every hero to be as perfect as a Celestial Phoenix-ranked master. And for what it's worth, the trade shipment is otherwise fine, and the Mongolian Settlers were generious enough to offer many weeks for the shipment to arrive. It is not the end of that city. But, two good things came out of this. Lu Kai loses from potaintional allies, and both current and future ones would be intimidated by the "Yeti Clan's" bruteness that even Lu Kai's enticing promises aren't worth a possable risk. His control of the criminal community will fall, forcing Lu Kai to relie solely on the yeties."
Monk 1: "..... Well, I, suppose that's a plus, but all of this mess could've been avoided if they just avoided the patrol."
Monk 2: "Perhaps we WERE too harsh, but we stand by our words. Those misfits need to do more then what they did so far from our monitoring throughout their escapades to earn our approveal. Those misfits sparked our intrigded since they saved a village from a Uniter Hunter's gainless wrath. We have monitered them since."
Monk 1: "Admitingly, I thought they started out poorly provoking that family prider imbacile of a dolphin to risk a new war, only to prvent it because of, an equestian pony of all things."
Monk 2: "And I'm still crossed about their unconventional solution to that usurper of an impeiral family member."
Monk 3: "Well I thought their rescue of Mah Jong from his bad gambling hapits with those Huihuai bandits was a decent turn-around."
Monk 4: "Well a very note-worthy highlight for me is when they set Mekong River back on the path of understanding and embacing the need of self-defence. It be nice to see that lovely river be safe again."
Monk 5: "I'm more impressed that they managed to defeated a chi knight, the River Highwaymen, A war criminal, AND exposed a thoundson year lie in the making and got the Chi Wolves of Balence back to their rightful place. I must say, Lieren for an immortal-eqsed she-wolf, she managed to kept good."
Monk Leader: "Well that's the benifits of the powers of the balence between giving and taking chi. I'm just glad the poor thing no longer has to pretend to be a chi parasite."
Monk 1: "Well I'm glad that china will no longer be subugated by those idiotic lying failed Yaoguai exspeariments..... I do find it odd Lieren would find it within herself to forgive those beasts for what they did."
Monk Leader: "Hush now. It's Lieren's own choice and we have little to absolutely nothing to say on the matter. And that matters little now. What is impourent is that we watch over the misfits.... Yetis and Bandits are the least of their concerns here."
Moans are heard.
Elsewhere.
The Group walks on as moans are heard.
Deadpool: "Hey come on guys, I know the weather here SUCKS, but that's no reason to moan about it."
Tigress: "(Becomes concerned).... That's, not us."
Deadpool: "(The Moans are heard again....)..... OKAY, TO THE JACKASS THAT'S MOANING, CUT THAT S*** OUT?!"
The Moans only get louder.
Deadpool: "..... Okay, now, I just think your trolling me."
Pinkie: "But how do you know they're trolls?"
Deadpool: "A-nonono! I mean like "Internet Trolling", but without neither internet or the mythical beast! I mean like these guys are f*****g with us."
Pinkie: "Ohhhhhhh. (Several Glowing Blue Eyes appeared around Pinkie as everyone looked in shock.) Okay! (Notices the fear in everyone's faces....) What?"
Deadpool gets serious and aims in Pinkie's direction!
Deadpool: "..... Don't, even, move, the tiniest bit, of your tattooed, pink, ass."
Pinkie: "(Gets scared from this)..... Why not?"
Several frozen corpsifived hands grabbed Pinkie as she screamed!
Deadpool: "AWWWW, S***?!"
The winds reveiled ghostly necromorthic spirits that look like dead bodies suffering from forstbite and freezer burn.
Shifu: "ICE REVENANTS?! DAMNED SOULS OF THOSE THAT FELL VICTIM TO THE HARSHNESS OF THE HIMALAYAS?!"
Starlight: "Are they evil?"
Viper: "(Solumly) No. Just lost souls that are looking to get rest. Legend saids that they can only be put to rest by getting purity for their crimes of thinking they can congure the mountains....."
Rainbow Dash: "..... And we ponies ARE THE PUREST THINGS HERE?!"
More glowing eyes appeared as more Ice Revenants came and grab Rainbow Dash, even dispite her attempts to fight!
Fluttershy: "RAINBOW DASH?!"
The other ponies get grabbed by the spirits!
Rarity: "EW?! I'M BEING TOUCHED BY ECOPLASUM?!"
Applejack: "GIT YER DAMN DIRTY MITS OFF OF ME, YOU FROZEN PHANTOMS?!"
Starlight: "LET ME GO?!"
Twilight tries to use magic, but the Renivents froze her horn, along with Starlight and Rarity!
Rainbow and Fluttershy's wings get frozen!
Deadpool: "HEY, GHOSTLY ASSHOLES?!"
The Revenants look at Deadpool, who spun around and aquired Ghostbuster attire and gear!
Deadpool: "..... Who you gonna call?"
Deadpool used the Ghostbuster gear, but though it bothers the ice revenants, they're otherwise unharmed.
Deadpool: "..... WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DIDN'T THE GHOST BUSTER GEAR WORK ON THESE FREAKS?!"
Shifu: "These souls are cursed here until they are embraced by purity! Of which the ponies have!"
Starlight: "Well it's kinda apart of us?!"
Po: "THAT'S THE WORSE PART?! THEY'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO THEIR GRAVES IN SAGAMATHA, AKA Mt Everest, and Chomolungma, to those not from Nepal, AND SUCK OUT YOUR SOULS IN THE SYTILE OF THE MUMMY MOVIES AND MAKE YOU GUYS THE NEW ICE REVENANTS?!"
Silence....
The Ponies scream as the renivents retreat with them!
Deadpool: "PINKIE PIE?! (Pulls out an anti-ghost basooka, but then Shen pounce on them!) THE FUCK, YA WHITE TURKEY?!"
Lord Shen: "YOU CAN'T SAVE THEM LIKE THAT?! WE ESTABLISHED THAT ANTI-GHOST WEAPONY CAN'T HARM THEM?! YOU'LL SOONER END UP HARMING THE PONIES THEN SAVING THEM?!"
Deadpool: "THEN HOW DO YOU SUGGEST WE SAVE THEM, FAN-BU-?!"
Lord Shen: Go ahead! Call me that! See what happens!
Deadpool:... At the risk of not getting hurt by more than just my balls and penis getting maimed, as well as you turning me into a popsicle with your spear, how do we save them, you're so smart?
Lord Shen: "..... We find those spirits, grant them another shorce of purity so they can finally reach the end of their suffering and finally complete their journey!"
Deadpool: "AND WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GONNA FIND SOMETHING PURE ENOUGH FOR BE BETTER THEN EQUESTIAN PONIES ON SHORT NOTICE, SMARTASS OF AN ANGRY BIRD?!"
???: You might've already found it. (The Monks came in)
Tito: AAAHHH!! CLOAKED FIGURES! DON'T LOOK INTO THEIR DEAD EYES, MY FRIENDS!!! THEY'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS!!
Monk Leader: We mean you no harm!
Shifu:... That voice... (The Monk Leader reveals herself to be Hai Hoi)...
Icky:... Are you-
Po: MASTER HAI HOI!!!
Pang Bing: Well, at least we finally found you.
Hai Hoi: Correction, I found you. I've been watching your exploits since Pang was defeated.
Pang Bing:... So we DIDN'T have to search for you?
Hai Hoi: No, not exactly.
Cera: Well... That's a relief, I guess.
Petrie: Me agree!
Icky: (Sighs) So why didn't you show up on your own accord?
Hai Hoi:... After what you heard about me, you're honestly going to ask me that?
Shenzi: I'm with the sea turtle on that one, bird-brain! (Slaps him)
Hai Hoi: I was simply waiting for you to come in close range. And since you did much for China, including convincing my students at the Shore Temple against a war, I feel I owe it to you to save your friends from the Ice Revenants.
Little Foot: Wasn't it Fluttershy who did much of that?
Hai Hoi: Mostly because of that, too.
Icky: "Look, it's a nice chat and a real honor to finally found ya, but I think we need to save our pony friends from those ice ghosts! It would NOT do well for their upcoming season 7 premere to show up as frosty phantoms."
Monk 1: "I'd be quick to call you out of not wanting to bask in Hai Hoi's honor, but under the circumstances, I respect the desire to cut the chit-chat short and save your friends."
Monk 5: "You must be warned though. The regret of their failure is not the only reason why those cursed souls are on the loose."
Deadpool: "OH! OHHHH-HA-HA! LET ME GUESS?! Is there like, some kind of evil ice witch playing with ice-necromancy here?!"
Monk 2: ".... Well, yes and no. This is no ordenary ice witch. We'll explain along the way."
The Graveyard of the Ice Renevants in a cave on Mt. Everest.
The Ponies were taken to the cave where prefectly laided out bodies are seen.
Rarity: ".... Those poor souls' old bodies look too perfectly organised to be that of failed climbers."
Starlight: "Why do I get the feeling there's more to this then just lost wayword spirits?"
Magic blasts are heard further down the graveyard, as the Ice Renivents arrived to the lair of an ice witch as magical trinkets are seen.
Starlight: "..... Alot of them look like they're from Quack's magical city."
Rainbow Dash: "So, it's safe to say that Quack isn't the only vengeful surviver of magic discrimination."
Chanting was heard, as the spirits arrived at the center of the large area as a large series of magic user cults are seen chanting.
Pinkie: ".... Ohhhh! Is this a scary spooky cult party they're having?"
A Ice Renivant moans inquizively at the other ponies.
Applejack: ".... Yes, she CAN be that dense at times. Just, don't worry about it. She'll learn."
Alot of the cult members are reveiled to be mostly female birds and deers of asian origin, all looked at the ponies with angered and bitter stares.
Rarity: ".... If this is a party, I suspect it's considerably private, because it doesn't feel like we were invited here."
The Ice Renivents halted around the bottom of a large shrine, dedicated to a magic king that looks Pre-Quack.
Twilight: ".... Something tells me that there's alot of details Quack may've not been honest to us about."
???: "My dear children of magic."
A KFP goat in regel robes appeared at the time.
The Goat: ".... Your leader, Cult Leader, has now been assigned to offer our great sage's wistom, as the ice renivents have return, with the- (Trips on a bented rug as he fell down the stairs comically) WHA D'OH, OW, BLAAOW, D'OH, GAOW?! OW, OWCH, OW, OW, OW, (FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE AT THE BOTTOM) BLACCCK?! Owwwww."
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie snickered.
Applejack: "(Gaffaws), Now that's an unintentionally funny enterence when I see one."
The Cult Leader got up with a huff!
Cult Leader: "..... Annnnnnyway......... The great sage has offered-"
???: "THE MOMENT'S ALREADY BEEN RUINED, YOU CLUMSY OAF?!"
A blast of ice magic appeared as a goat simular to Soothsayer appeared.....
Soothsayer-eqsed goat: "..... I have to contend to this, myself."
Cult Leader: "Oh, (nerviously laughs like a wimp), Alchourse, oh great and wise Frostbiter, Queen of the Himalayas, The misstress of ice, tamer and creator of the Ice Renevents, Sage of the Fallen Magic City, and the Messiah of Magic, who predicted the downfall of magic, but the idiot king Quack failed to take it seriously!"
Rarity: "(Quietly) I do believe Quack owes us alot of explaining."
Cult Leader: "And above all else, the one true savior of magic?!"
Frostbiter: "Oh hush up on your phrasing and get out of my way, idiot! If only Undertaker wasn't arrested, then HE'D be the leader of this cult, not your worthless butt, being his brother aside!"
Cult Leader: "Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes, Frostbiter, as you wish!"
The Cult Leader got out of the way as Frostbiter approched the ponies.
Frostbiter: "..... Children of Magic..... Our revenge to a discriminative world, is finally at hand. After Quack once again has proven that he was a failure of a king compaired to our city's glorious founder, and the discoveror of the magic pool of China, King Mofa, who we dedicated a great shrine to in this barren wasteland, we now have a renewed chance, to get the aide of the most powerful yet tragic victim of magic haters, Pang Bing, onto our side. And we will win her over from those alien misfits, when I deminsright a powerful spirit retriveal ritual, to bring back her sisters without the needless return of the Mothron Warlord. And to do it, I, shall use magic absorbson, to take their powerful equestian magic, and become stronger then I am currently, and then when Pang Bing joins us, it shall be our turn to finish off what Quack at least attempted to do: The eradication of Chi Users! China, chall become, A MAGIC RULED WORLD?!"
The Cult chanted.
Applejack: "Now hold on a second there, miss! Your plan to get Pang Bing to help ya'll, is basicly go Tirek on us and take away our magic to make yerself strong to free her sisters, and then have Pang Bing help ya to harm Chi Users?"
Frostbiter: ".... Is there, a problem with that?"
Rarity: "Well, where can one begin?! But to avoid a long rant, I'll simply point one one simple thing. You madam are no better an enfluence to poor Pang Bing then Mothlock was!"
Frostbiter: "Be warned that questioning my athority will end poorly! I am not above making your lives forbit! I demand respect from all who are graced by my presence! Failure to do so, and I'll let the Renevents have your purity so they can asend to the afterlife!"
Pinkie: "..... Aren't they already there, tecnecally?"
Frostbiter: "..... I meant asending to the spirit realm, you pink idiot?! Ugh.... How does anyone put up with your stupidity?!"
Applejack: "You'll learn to love her."
Frostbiter: "We're off track here?! You may think you lead her away from her rightious path like you did to that unfit king Quack! But at long as she can't make peace with her darker side, she'll just as easily be taken back to her true path to avenge magic in this world! And with your magic, I can bring her the ones she lost..... Her sisters, and without freeing the mothron. And once so, our combined might will make sure that no one shall treat magic so poorly ever again! Chi will be wiped out from the face of existence, and only magic will reign suprime."
Starlight: "Are you sure you really want this? Hurting others doesn't make you people feel better about what happened."
Frostbiter: "Pffft! Your one to talk! Your from a world where magic reigned suprime! You don't know what it was like to be discriminated for something that is a gift to us mortals in this and likewise worlds, FROM YOUR WORLD THROUGH THE MAGIC POOLS?! Magic users are tortured and killed because of these great gifts, because of people who do not understand us, or in this cause, because of a vengeful beast of an emperor who did not get to enjoy taking advantaged of the magic of the Magic Orb's despiles for his own idiotic dreams?! I tired of nonsense like that?! Once I gathered Pang Bing's trust, I'll make an exsample known through the universe, that magic is a gift not to be tarnish for any reason. Not even the greatest of Universeal Goverment Powers, will dare disrespect this."
Starlight: "You, would be surprised, how disrespectful to fanactics like you, can be when push comes to shove."
Frostbiter: "Bah! I don't expect you all to understand. All I want is your magic. Then once I have your magic, the Ice Renevents will have their final reward with your purity now that you can't defend yourselves. (To the cult) MAKE ROOM FOR THE ABSORBTION?!"
The Cult did just that, as the Ice Renevents place the Ponies to be held down by magical tables with straps, holding them down firmly!
Frostbiter and Cult Leader approuched the ponies in their vulerable position as the cult began chanting.
Frostbiter: ".... Any final words?"
Pinkie: "..... Has anyone ever told you that you kinda look like Soothsayer?"
Frostbiter was surprised from that!
Frostbiter: "...... How, dare you speak of my defecter Daughter's name?!"
Applejack: "Soothsayer's your daughter?!"
Frostbiter: "One of two, actselly. She dare desided to come to the aide of non-Magics as her namesake instead of being by my side. But I will deal with her defience soon enough. (Approuches Starlight first)..... You have a healthy consintraction of magic, pony. I'll start with the strongest of you 7 to get an early boost, then I'll seek out the weakest as bonuses. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt..... Though you will end up being weaker then you before."
Starlight: Miss Frostbiter, while your intentions are right, I don't exactly think making people suffer is the best way to make that clear. Not that I blame you, but know that incidents like Pang's are all in the past. People have come to appreciate magic nowadays.
Frostbiter: I have nothing further to say to you. This is going down, and I will not stop for anything.
Twilight: But-
Frostbiter: Not a word!
Starlight struggled as Frostbiter was preparing to do the absorbtion spell!
Cult Leader: "This is our finest hour, Oh great Frostbiter! Nothing can ruin this!"
Suddenly, Cult Leader had his ear wispered by a cult messinger....
Cult Leader: "...... Uhhhhh..... Great Frostbiter?"
Frostbiter: (Loses consintraction)... Cult Leader, what did I tell you about interrupting an important event? I swear to Yinglong, I'll cast you to the Spirit Realm!
Cult Leader: This is urgent, mam! The ponies' comrades are on their way with Hai Hoi.
Frostbiter:... (Sighs) I knew that was going to accure. But let them come. (She resumes her focus successfully absorbs the magic from them as they were weakened)... I shall deal with them myself. You ensure that nobody gets captured in the meantime.
Twilight: YOU CAN'T-
Frostbiter: I said not a word! (She magically mutes them)... (Sighs) Why don't people listen when I expect them to? (She teleports away)
Cult Leader:... (Looks at the helpless ponies as they looked angrily at him)... DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! YOU THINK I APPRECIATE THIS?!? I was just as much a victim to this s*** as she was. I swore an oath of loyalty to her for the rest of my life, and if I disobey her, I go to the Spirit Realm. (They were disappointed at his words)... Oh, like none of you don't get friendship. My family has been oppressed for years. Whether or not magic is appreciated today is none of her concern. All she cares about is getting revenge. She is just too stubborn to listen to reason, and she's also mean about it, and there's nothing we can do. If you think I'm gonna just disobey a good friend and risk my soul, then let it go! Renevents! I'm, kinda sorry to say, your freedom is abit delayed due to a crisis! But you will get one last job, keeping the ponies from escaping! And when you here the okay, they'll be all yours! Now, post-haste! (The Renevents, though with disappointed but obedient looks, took them away)
Outside
Soothsayer: (Sighs as the heroes approached her lair) I should've known my mother wouldn't get over this.
Pang Bing: Okay, I wanna know WHY Quack never told us about this before!
Icky: "I bet there's like a magic cult oath he had to partake or some shit."
Soothsayer: It's not just that.... She was also a victim to magic prejudice, and one of the worst. She is simply unreasonable in her plan to eliminate prejudice, and even I was unable to persuade her. She was stubborn and unforgivable. So I had to leave for Gongmen City while my sister... Would go down another path. But regardless, I have been hoping to save her in the future, but she is just unacceptable to put up with.
Banzai: Well, it's clear we gotta beat some sense into that witch!
Soothsayer: Doing that only makes her angry. She is intolerable of disobedience, and all of her servants are cursed into either serving her in an eternal oath of loyalty, or have their souls taken to the Spirit Realm forever.
Icky:... What a bitch!
Soothsayer: Normally, I'd be offended, but she is unfortunately, tainted enough, to deserve to be called that. She is just not going to listen to reason. All she cares about is this plan for revenge because... She is an unfortunate victim of OCD. That tragedy involving magic prejudice was unable to be forgotten, and thus it was the ONLY thing she thought about.
Iago: Uggh, tell me about it! It's like when you train your head to think a thought you don't wanna think and you can't stop yourself most of the time, only on steroids!
Soothsayer: Indeed. But it's clear that she wants the ponies' magic and use them for something big.
Pang Bing: And what would that be?
Soothsayer: Most likely it centered around earning your obedience through getting your sisters back a quicker but reckless way. But given she's on her way here with an unbelievable magic reading, I fear we might not only be too late, but also we must get ready for a confrontation.
Chaos: Well, we have magic too, and DAMN good magic for that matter.
Soothsayer: Do know that she has ways of surpassing powers as strong as yours, Chaos.
Chaos: Nonsense! I shall ensure she doesn't- (He is blasted into a wall with a cat yell as he was buried in snow upon impact)
???: You should've heed my disobedient child's words of caution, Chaos-Beast! (Frostbiter herself came in)... Because with the power of your Equestrian comrades, I will not be easy to deal with. As for YOU, Yeoh, you will pay dearly for betraying me and allying yourself with the people whom I wish to suffer, EVEN AFTER I EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN YOU NOT TO!!!
Soothsayer: You do not tell me what to do anymore! I have freed myself of your curse, and so you do not control me. You were a HORRIBLE mother because you turned your children into slaves! Now, not only have you tainted my elder sister into a bitter con artist with her powers, but you are making magic look horrible with your methods of Faustian slavery. You KNOW VERY WELL that spell has been banned since the First Cartoonian War, and is punishable by execution!
Frostbiter: I'm afraid the well-being of others, AND of the High Council, is none of my concern.
Soothsayer: (Takes a deep breath)... That is so typical of you. You show no sympathy for the people around you. I left because what you are doing is wrong! You are a sociopath who refused to understand the world more because of your tragedy. You have no people to have your back except these slaves. You treat people however wish for the selfish desire of revenge. The cup you choose to fill has no bottom. You MUST stop this madness.
Frostbiter: I said it before, and I will say it again, Yeoh! NO!
Soothsayer: You must! Your parents died of broken hearts when they saw what you became-
Frostbiter: (She strangled her to the ground)... Do not EVER mention them in my presence! They hated me! They left me to suffer in the hands of the corrupt imperium! They wronged me, and they paid the price!
Soothsayer: Obeying higher authority I not weakness NOR hate! They loved you with all their hearts so much, that seeing you get taken killed them.
Frostbiter:... That is simply no excuse. The imperium was wrong from the very beginning. They didn't deserve any respect, and the least they could do was risk their heads to save me. If they ended up beheaded, they would've sparked an uprising to end this. But they choose to be cowards that let the imperial scum see that they can manipulate people, simply because they have the power to back it up. AND QUACK'S INCOMPIDENCE PRIOR TO THOSE HORRORS, DIDN'T HELP AT ALL!? Had that fool took me seriously, NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED?!
Soothsayer: (Sighs).... It earnestly hurts me to see you like this.
Lord Shen:... Wow, Soothsayer, when you said your mother was stubborn even BEFORE my banishment, you were NOT wrong!
Soothsayer: When have I NOT been wrong?
Frostbiter: And such things like said banishment prove my point that you and Qipian should've stayed and supported your mother. If ANYONE was the bad family member, it was YOU TWO! You both went to a filthy soothsayer academy, and ABANDONED your mother!
Soothsayer: One who throws stones in glass houses and yet lives in one should not do so. You used your inhered powers of predictions to do simular things for Quack. Is his one moment of ill-fated trust that bad to discourage yourself from understanding these powers? And above all else, We were in the RIGHT to do so! You were an awful influence to us! Having us soul slaves, which, again, IS ILLEGAL, and taught us that the outside world was evil and was going to shun us! You raised us as a means to an end. So I did what I had to do, and freed our souls from your control. So, you cannot control us! Qipian may not be in a great path as me as of currently, but it's YOU who should be blamed for giving her a bad mind to use her abilities for personal gain.
Frostbiter:... (Sighs)... I didn't wanna have to do this, daughter, but I have no choice. You will die alongside your friends. (Shen pointed his spear right at Frostbiter's unflinching face.)..... Well aren't be a ballsy little birdy?
Lord Shen: If I were you, madam, I'd give our pony friends back their magic right this instant, or risk doing this the hard way! We do NOT show any mercy to people who go THIS far!
Frostbiter: I refuse to be intimidated by a shameful former-Villain-League exile like you! You don't get to play morally-superior here after how you slaughtered an ENTIRE village, INCLUDING CHILDREN!!
Fa: Hey wait a minute lady! Shen may've done some messed up stuff, but Cobra is the one to blame here! He MADE him do all those things!
Frostbiter: He listened to his lies in the first place, so it is simply no excuse. He let his lust for more be his undoing. He made NO effort to resist listening to a stranger and thus be manipulated so easily. And no amount of princess love is going to make him anything but a pathetic, gullible, disgrace to the Wu name!
Cynder: (Gets angry)... Nobody talks to Shen that way! And NOBODY lets themselves be fooled by a MONSTER like Cobra, and expects to get away with evil deeds that way! Soothsayer is right! You are an AWFUL mother! It's clear you didn't deserve your children!
Frostbiter:... And your one to talk, CONSIDERING WHAT YOUR GUILTY OFF, DARK CYNDER?! (She zaps her, turning her into a mind-warped Avatar form)
Spyro: CYNDER! NO!
Frostbiter: Did you honestly think that after all my years of being a successful cult mastermind, that I get defeated by misfits? I do apologies, but your reign of smiling fortune of defeating otherwise undefeatable threats, has finally reached it's end. (Snaps her frozen hoof nails) (Avatar Cynder attacked).
Sparx: "LOOK OUT?! CYNDER'S GONE CRAZY FOR THE UPTEENTH TIME IN THE ROW?!"
Icky: "NOT HELPING, SPARX?!"
Frostbiter: I happen to know HER all too well, as her infamy in the Villain League is all but impossible to miss! She sunk the city of Atlantis, she murdered the wife of King Triton, she did by far the most horrible things. I dare even say, worse than she was before! I'm surprised people even FORGAVE her so quickly! She's still got people who fear her to this very day! She's nothing to you heroes!
Spyro:... And THAT'S where I draw the line! NOBODY, talks about Cynder that way! As a person whom I was lucky enough to not only be the exact same age as, but also because I sympathized with her struggles. Like her, I'm an orphan who didn't know my parents. She was lucky enough to find her mother, AND even one of her brothers at some point. As for me? I STILL don't know where my parents are! I don't know if they still live or not, but I'm not afraid to be upset if for whatever reason they DO decide to reunite with their son. Even IGNITUS has no idea what became of them as he only found me as an egg and put me in foster care. Everyone says that my father was supposed to be one of the greatest legends among purple dragons, and was on par with what Malefor used to be when he defeated... What was the name of that evil force again?
Soothsayer: The Dark Foreboding Clan?
Spyro: Yes, that. But there's things I can hardly speculate on for him. All I can guess at this point is he's dead along with the others that suffered during the Ape Invasion!
Frotbiter: (Laughs) You know, young dragon, it's so upsetting that you're admitting this to a person that has as much power as Yeoh! You'll be thrilled to know that both of your parents live! (Spyro was shocked)... But your out of luck on their location! There's been rumors they got caught up in a cursed planet, but that's just it. Rumers aren't relieable.
Spyro:... My parents..... Lived? But... But...
Frostbiter: Oh, don't take it so hard, child. At least know they are alive. It's a shame however, that they will end up outliving the son they never gotten to know existed.. (Avatar Cynder continued to attack as Spyro ran away again)
Avatar Cynder: (As she continued attacking, she started seeing the raw emotion in the hiding Spyro's eyes, as it reminded her of the shock she felt when speculating of her parental origins)... (She transformed back into Cynder)
Frostbiter: WHAT?!?
Cynder:... Those eyes!... Those are the eyes... Of tragedy!... Like mine!
Spyro:... Cynder... You're back! (The two hugged)
Frostbiter: (Sighs) Perhaps next time, I should be careful with what I say. No matter. I can still end you. I have the raw power of ice on my side.
Soothsayer: Mother, we cannot let you do this! You've gone far enough as it is!
Frostbiter: On the contrary, I HAVEN'T GONE FAR ENOUGH!!! (She attacked with her magic as the group dodged by luck of chance)!
Icky: "YEESH! I heard of being given the cold shoulder, but this is rediculious!"
Deadpool charged with a battlecry with a bucket of water and dumped water on her, which does nothing!
Frostbiter: "..... What, was that?"
Deadpool: "..... I'd, thought you go down like the witch in the Wizard of Oz....."
Lord Shen: "...... SHE'S AN ICE WITCH, YOU IDIOT?! WATER IS LIKE AN ICE PRECURSOR?! AND EVEN THEN, NOT EVERY WITCH IS WEAK TO WATER?!"
Deadpool: ".... Well, lesson learned then. Be careful when taking advice from old MGM movies."
Frostbiter: ".... And here I thought Quack was an embarisment, but you?! (Conjures up an iceball and smacks Deadpool with it!)"
Deadpool: "OOOH?! (The Iceball crashes him to a mountain side)....... Ow."
Iago: "Okay lady, consider my pet peeved! Let's see how smug you are when you ended up bringing ice powers (Brings out a flame-thrower) TO A FLAME-THROWER FIGHT?!"
Frostbiter froze the Flame-Thrower.
Iago: "..... THAT DEFIES EVERY RULE OF LOGIC IN THE BOOK?!"
Frostbiter: "I have magic, genius. Logical expectations mean NOTHING?!"
Frostbiter shoot a snow torrent from her eyes as Thundera saved him just in time!
Mr. Krabs: "Allright you ice witch, your dancing with the krab-man now! I have fought in a war and served among some really tough men! I know a guy who survived a torpedo shot into his gut! And they didn't called me Armor-Abs Krabs for notthing! I- (Gets frozen the same way in the movie)..... (Muffles in defeated)."
Squidward facepalms.
Squidward: "And once again, Mr. Krabs became one with the frozen sea food section."
Pang Bing: "ALL OF YOU, ENOUGH?! Every one of you trying to go after her will lead, nowhere! I'm the only one who stands an actual chance against her!"
Frostbiter: "Are you sure you want to bite the hand that would feed you, kitty cat? I am at a state where I can offer the return of your sisters without a reunion with the Mothron."
Pang Bing: "..... I, am done, abiding to a master!"
Frostbiter: ".... Then I guess I'll have to smack your sense of rightiousness, back into you!"
Frostbiter raised her hands and summoned two giant snow serpents from the snow!
Deadpool: "SHE CAN MAKE SNOW-SNAKES?! THAT IS SO FREAKING BADASS?!"
The Snow Serpents snapped at Pang Bing who quickly flew up, and tried to use fireballs to damage them! But they heal quickly from each attack.
Bubbha: "Well shucks, the cold evioment gives them the homefiled advantage to heal!"
Icky: "Come on, Pang! At least three parts earlier, AND the Emperor's Rule Two-Parter for that matter, you gave pretty much everyone a run for their money! Don't let that old goat be the one who gives you shi-"
A snowhand grabs Icky's beak, and takes it off like Daffy's Beak!
Icky's Beak: "..... HELP?! I'VE BEEN MOUTH-NAPPED?!"
Petrie: "Me, no thinks that should be logically possable."
The rest of Icky tries to rescue his beak, but the snow hand teases him and humiliates him!
Cera: "I don't think logic even applies anymore."
Gricky: "Dag nabbit boy, it's bad enough you couldn't handle some kids, your really gonna let a bunch of frozen water give you trouble?"
Icky's Mouth: "NOT A GOOD TIME, GRANNY?!"
Another Snow Hand appeared and played keep-a-way with the current hand as Icky failed to get his beak back!
Pang Bing fought with the snow serpents still, but then the two creatures both symintaniously strike, Pang Bing using her magic to keep the serpents from closing it, but barely, as she struggled to keep the creatures from both hurting her!
Frostbiter climbed on a growing snow-stairs to Pang Bing as she struggled.
Frostbiter: "Now, I mean it when I intent on reuniting you with your sisters. But if you still conflict with your TRUE self, then you'll have to reunite with them in the most implesent way possable. And believe me, neither of us want that. You are litterally magic's greatest hope against a future idiot's cruelty against us, someone who would be WORSE then any spawn of Lu Kai the Terrorable. You know that magic is a great gift. If people are going to fear and hate it, then who are we, to try and change their minds? These heroes may say magic discrimination is dead.... But who's to say this Modern Lu Kai or a much worse idiot can't simply just bring it back?! For the sake of your sisters and that Space Orb of a mother of yours, you can't afford to take risks! That's the kind of mistake Quack made, and we all know how well that played. Oh, and speaking of that orb.... It is not truthfully destroyed. (Pang Bing was surprised).... Your Modern Lu Kai has imprisoned it's healing body in an imperial staff and is misusing it's power with intent to shove it and Hai Hoi into a weapon as batteries to power that monsterious thing, a weaponised monster, that the idiot Snow Hog made the design for, before buyer's remorse made him desert that Lu Kai while litterally costing him a leg! That poor orb of magic appears to be doomed to entertain a reckless idiot's madness.... That is, unless we join forces, and take that brute down! His fall will be the ultamate revenge and score-settling for magic! Then, it'll be time for the TRUE fall of chi! One better then how Quack attempted?! I know you'll do anything for your sisters, dear kitty. And with the news of your dear orb still being alive, if though in an inconvinent way, well, my offer can't be refused."
Pang Bing: "..... What good is your way of things, if you are about to fail?"
Frostbiter: "I'm clearly having the upper-hand, feline!"
Pang Bing: "I had an advantage over them once myself?! If you process the same prohetic powers your daughter has inhered, then you KNOW they eventually won over me!"
Frostbiter: "Both you and the Uniter were evenally matched! That battle ended in a stalemate! It's neither a victory for them nor an actual defeat for you. It's an equilivent of a sports game ending in a draw! And even then, it's mainly because you discovered that Mothron's dishonest methods, even when he does honor his deals. I not only do that, but I leave my followers with their own freewill."
Pang Bing: "AND WHAT SOOTHSAYER SAID ABOUT THE OTHER MAGIC USER SURVIVERS BEING CURSED?!"
Frostbiter: "That's only being used to discourage disobedience! Prior to my daughters' desertion, I suffered from betrayals left and right, whether the betrayers grew soft or accuse me of not going far enough! You thought I'm bad? Some of the more extreme cult members wanted to flat out destroy the wolrd as punishment for discrimination?! At least I only want to destroy magic haters and force anyone else to respect our kind! What I did, is just to secure obedience!"
Pang Bing: And to keep them from going into such extremes, you use a Faustian spell?
Frostbiter: Not a Faustian spell by technicality. It only behaves in a similar way. Disobedience of those of whom the curse is linked to, causes the individual's soul to freeze, and them along with it, until they shatter completely, and go straight to the Spirit Realm.
Pang Bing: But it still doesn't make you any better than me. You use an illegal spell to turn people, INCLUDING YOUR OWN CHILDREN, into soul slaves. Faustian spells, for their ability to manipulate souls themselves, has been illegal for as long as slavery has been illegal. And considering slavery was illegal even before the end of the First Cartoonian War, despite some worlds still being in American Civil War days, it's still flat-out forbidden. An invention of the Darkspawn themselves is not something to be abused by even heroes or Gods. It doesn't matter what motivations you have here, what you're doing is still wrong!
Frostbiter: Oh, so using magic in how it can be used to show people who they're dealing with and how it can counteract those who use it for personal gain, like you and me admittedly but for good reason, is wrong?
Pang Bing: (Dubbed as Gloria) YES!!!
Frostbiter: Well, too bad! They're too little, too late to apologize. Lu Kai's insolent descendant is still out there, and his family was too mean in ruling China throughout the years, and NONE of them have made amends to any of the people they wronged throughout the years.
Pang Bing: And Lu Kang?
Frostbiter:... Again, too little, too late! They've done far too much for even an apology to make up for it. Innocent people have been prosecuted, and KILLED! MILLIONS were lost in the Lu Kai line! EVERY ONE OF THEIR 70 DESCENDANTS, WERE ALL UNFORGIVABLE, AND NO DOUBT, THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GOT!!!
Kun Lao: (Seeing Lu Kang's parents dying, and the turmoil that Lu Kang went through ever since)... You wanna say that again?
Frostbiter: Excuse me?
Shifu: Oh, no!
Kun Lao: Yeah!... Repeat what you just said! The Lu Kai line deserved to die for what they did?
Frostbiter: Yeah. You have a problem with that, your former highness?
Kun Lao: Lu Kang has done his very best to redeem his family name, and you're just going to say that he along with his entire family deserve to die? If he were here, he'd be distraught, because he knows that it technically includes his parents. He does not take it well when his parents are brought up in vain! They were killed by a member of their own bloodline, who was nothing but another family mistake. Either way, it still brought the same results as if they were killed by entirely different people. Distraught family members and friends.
Frostbiter: Oh, don't be a hypocrite, you did just as worst!
Kun Lao: WHY DO YOU THINK I'M NO LONGER EMPEROR?!? Yes, I took things too far myself, the loss of my son aside, but I am NOT foolish enough to act like nothing was wrong as if I didn't do anything. I at least embraced the fact that I am but another mortal, far from true perfection and capable to always make the right choice. I dare not to hide by any justification for any mistake, even if they're practical or sympathy worthy. Lu Kai II did that, and he paid the price. We Imperials take a moral code and balance it out with our common ruthlessness. We try not to make the same mistakes that Lu Kai, and when we do end up going too far, like the act that made resigned, we decide that it's time to retire and hand the reigns down to someone else. At least know that the imperial family has forsaken the worse parts of Lu Kai the second's ways, even if it's not all of them, and we do cortail and punish any member of the imperial family or anyone who works with or for us who step out of line to discourage another Lu Kai the second insodent. But you? You let past acts justify harsh punishment! It's unfair to say that all Emperors are evil, and therefore they deserve to die! It is not right to damn an entire system, even for a heinious mistake like Lu Kai the Second! If any normal person said that out in public, he'd be in Chorh-Gom Prison for treason faster than you can say 'plum pudding platter'!
Frostbiter: Well, deal with it! They deserve what they gotten, and that's final!
Kun Lao:... You are despicable! Dishonorable! You deserve to die!
Everyone: WHOOOOOOOAA!!
Icky's beak: "(While still being played by the snow hands) Okay, I know she's being a really big bitch now, but THAT was pushing it!"
Soothsayer: Your former highness, I can agree that those words are pushing it a little, but-
Kun Lao: A LITTLE?!?
Soothsayer: Okay, a lot, but that doesn't mean she deserves to die. She's just as morally-confused, at best anyway, as Pang was because she's from a past that we can all identify with. If you were in her shoes, then you'd no doubt take it that far.
Pang Bing: (While still sturggling with the Snow Serpents) I agree. As a person whose eyes have just been opened for the first time in a thousand years, I have the wisdom that I was robbed of. Nobody deserves harsh treatment for something justified, though to a certain extent. Yes, prejudice is dangerous, and it has killed people, but it's also one of the things that create villains as well, which is why we hate it so much. But it is NOT something that should be taken in vain. What you just said, technically proves her point. Those are words that Lu Kai himself would say.
Kun Lao:... You... You're right!
Pang Bing: Indeed. Let's all accept that the one true villain here is-
Frostbiter: "WE ARE SIDE-TRACKED?! Whether you accept or not changes nothing! The ponies' magic stays with me! I will not allow myself to be blocked when I am so close to my goal! And if you won't willingly joined, then get ready for feline obedience shcool, feline!"
Pang Bing: Well, I should say that, as one who can identify considering my own misdeeds, it's my job to take down what I once was. So I will not let you make the same mistake I almost did twice.
Frostbiter: ".... You have only been around that african deer for no longer then a few days, and already her rightious bro-ha-ha has gotten to you. I have my work cut out to bring you back to your TRUE way of thinking."
Frostbiter snapped her thinkers and the Snow Serpents already holding down a force-pushing Pang Bing are joined with more heads coming out of the current serpents, becoming a snow-Hyrda.
Frostbiter: "Let's see you survive a snow varient of a greek legend, feline. And this time, you can't count on the Uniter's rescue. Even by their fastest convinence, it'll take hours to arrive on time. And you would already be back to normal by the time the Uniter and friends DO show up. And even if there's an otherwise issue..... Well, that's what THEY are for."
Frostbiter snapped her fingers again, summoning forth and army of ice europein dragons rising from all sides of the mountain, then flying off to the direction the other heroes would come from.
Frostbiter: "Something tells me the Uniter would run alittle late, even at her best. I have all the time in the wolrd, feline."
Pang Bing: ".... And you assume that I need her to fight MY OWN BATTLES?!"
Pang Bing began to push harder and did great damage to the still persistent Snow Hydras!
Frostbiter: "Well-hell-hell, now that's abit more like it! At least I know that things will be interesting."
The other Group's location.
The Van was following Gazelle riding on Sunder, but suddenly, she began to squack and screech in concern!
Gazelle: "..... Guys, I think Sunder is sensing something dangerious coming our way!"
Zhan: I'm sensing something coming as well. And it's of a familiar aura.
Thunderclap: You sure it's not the storm?
Gazelle: I'm pretty sure no. (A roar was heard as the Ice European Dragons came for them)
Duke: (Dubbed as Lego Movie Emmet) DRAGOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!
Gilda:... And why are they not of common Chinese appearance? You'd think they'd appear like that.
Trixie: "IS THIS REALLY A GOOD TIME FOR YOU TO COMPLAIN ABOUT CULTURAL INACCREACTIES?!"
Zhan: (Sighs) I should've known. It's the work of Frostbiter, Queen of the Himalayas! An ice witch goat who is yet another victim of magic prejudice. She's also the mother of your Soothsayer, Jing Yeoh.
Trixie: Wait, THAT'S her real name? AND her mother's an ice witch?
Zhan: Basically, her tragedy started on the day when Quack's home was destroyed. She's been in these mountains for a thousand years, obtaining sympathizers and tricking them into Faustian spells of an oath of servitude, specifically ice-based ones that freeze a person's soul when the oath is broken. Soothsayer and her elder sister were victims of this as well, yet they undid the curse, and left. Soothsayer would go to Gongmen City while her sister... Would use her fortunetelling powers as a con artist.
Mayfly: Oh, a Faustian spell. A spell created by the demons of the Banished Realms that allows people to manipulate people's souls. It's been illegal for eons. No doubt she's due for an arrest.
Duke: GUYS, ARE WE SERIOUSLY FORGETTING ABOUT THE- (The dragons breathed ice breath as they dodged)..... You guys, REALLY NEED TO EASE UP ON THE DIALOGE?!
Frostbite: WHOA! That was closer then nearly getting stabbed by a Stago, that was!
Coldfront: Note to self: Less talky, more fighty.
Trixie: Not to worry, the Great and Powerful-
Thunderclap: Must you always say that?
Trixie: Yes! It's how I role, deal with it! Anyway, nothing defeats an ice dragon, espeically ones litterally made OUT of ice, more then fire.
Trixie started to conjure up torpedo shaped fireballs.
Trixie: "These Ice-Seeking Fire Missles I have been exspearimenting with shall do the trick."
Trixie fires the fire-pedos as the Ice Dragons snarled in surprise!
A good number of them were shot down, leaving only a more persistent group!
Duke: "Well, ya got rid of the rookies at least, BUT NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH THE PROS?!"
Trixie: Not a problem. We can take 'em! Right, guys? (Everyone agreed)
Gilda: Well, let's do so! (Roars at the top of her lungs and charges for them, dodging their attacks as she managed to uppercut one of them into falling and shattering) YEEEEAAAAAAAH!!!- (She was suddenly frozen as she fell, only for Mayfly to catch her)
Mayfly:... Word of advice, Gilda, it's not wise to barrel in and hope you can kick their butts along the way. (She unfreezes her)
Gilda: Hey, at least I took down one of them.
Mayfly: That one was just the least-powerful pro. The others proved stronger than you.
Gilda:... Dammit!
Duke: "Doesn't this van have like, anti elemental creature defences or something?! I mean, why haven't we used it the first time?"
Gilda: MSM must've forgotten we had it.
Thunderclap: Yeah, but to sound less meta... Because they've been frozen. (That was seen) Also much of us don't know how to use the weapon rotary cannons.
Duke: THEN MELT IT WITH THE DAMN LASERS!!!
Thunderclap: "That, is frozen too."
Duke:... What are the cannons set to?
Gazelle: (From outside) I can see from outside. It's the rocket launchers.
Duke:... (He screamed so loud, he did embarrassing things as the Ice Dragons were confused, until they focused again as they continued to attack) HOW DO WE DEFEND OURSELVES?!?
Mayfly: We CAN melt it. But it takes concentration, so we need to get ourselves well-hidden so we can- (The Ice Dragons charged it into deep snow in a mountain)...
Duke: SON OF A ******* ***** PASTE!!! WHY THE F*** DOES ALL THIS ***** ****** HAPPEN TO ME?!?
Zhan: What's that noise?
Gazelle: (Comes in after Sunder landed aside the van) Yeah, Rachet and Clank gave us an early chrismas gift in the form of an AI with, a rather odd sense of humor.
AI: (Comically buzzing the alarm)
Duke:... WITH A GODDAMN PIG!!
AI: Are you done?
Duke:... Yeah.
AI: Good. Then prepare for imminent death!
Mayfly: (Sighs) There's gotta be a better way to say that.
AI: Sorry. Ahem! (Casually) Prepare for imminent death! How's that?
Mayfly: I WAS KIDDING!!
Thunderclap: Yeah, the AI modulator broke, so Ratchet and Clank gave us one as an early chris-mass gift like Gazelle said until we get a proper one. But it's a nice subistute, eh? Well, even dispite thet fact that they're abit....
Cutaway
AI #1: Touching down in 5... 4... (The pod landed) Oops, 3-2-1!
AI #2: Auto-destruct sequence initiated. Prepare to die.
AI #3: Reactor detonation in 60 seconds... (Later) Time's up!
Dr. Nefarious: WHAT?!? THAT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE TO 60 SECONDS!!
AI #3: Buh-bye! *BOOM*
AI #4: Engaging cryosleep! (Releases knockout gas)
Ratchet: Cryosleep? No-no-no, there's no way I'm gonna- (He dropped asleep)
Clank:... It is fortunate cryosleep doesn't work on robots. (Chuckles until a punching bag knocked him out)
AI #5: Your hoverthrone has been damaged.
Loki Master: I know it's been damaged! I'M NOT BLIND!!!
AI #5: Perhaps you should try killing them.
Loki Master: What does it LOOK like I'm trying to do? I'M NOT BAKING BROWNIES HERE!!!
Present
Thunderclap:... Smart-alecky.
Mayfly: "Well doesn't it seem improper for AI to behave like that?"
Thunderclap: Trust me, even Rachet and Clank have no idea why it's that way either, besides the fact it's always a thing for robots of their universe to be, quirky.
Gazelle: Well, if we're done here, we need to get the van defense-ready again.
Duke: WELL, YOU'D BETTER HURRY!! WE'VE GOT COMPANY!!! (The Ice Dragons came in)
Gazelle: Then it's time to send the welcoming commettie! (As she flew Sunder to battle, Gazelle, Trixie, Gilda, and the Dactyls went off and fought them)
Mayfly: (She proceeds to melt the ice on the cannons)... Be sure to hold them off. If the spell is disturbed, something bad might occur.
Coldfront: So no pressure then? (They fought them off)
Frostbiter: "(Sees the situation unfold through an ice mirror).... I'll admit, they put up a good fight, but still, it will be a long time before they get here. (Make the mirror disappear as Pang Bing still trying to force push the snow hydras away) And I would have long returned you back to your proper self by then."
Pang Bing: "..... Why, must you be so unforgiving to the outside world? And I mean beyond what happened to magic users?"
Frostbiter: "Why? WHY!?.... Pang Bing, this place, is HELL ON EARTH?! Not just for magic users, but for ANYONE that doesn't match the status quo?! This has been true, even BEFORE Lu Kai?! Everything suffers here?! Everything is treated with cruelty?! Stories have always end in tragity?! But..... With your help, we can always have stories end much more happier.... Maybe, even, make them immortal.... INFIDENT?!"
Pang Bing: "..... Your wrong. Whether they end happilly or not, all stories reach their concludion. But what ultamately matters is that those stories are remembered forever. And they will shape the world better by however way they end."
Frostbiter snarled.
Frostbiter: "...... And how, does YOURS end?"
Pang Bing finally had the strentgh to blast the Snow Hydras away!
Pang Bing: "..... By stoping you."
Frostbiter: "..... So, is that what you want?! To go against a fellow magic user in battle in faver of the same socity that has harmed you as well?! Clearly, that Uniter had TOO MUCH enfluence in you?! And I will break that, even if I have to break every single bone in your body to do so?!"
Frostbiter turned into ice and glowed, as she flew up and turned into a giant flying ice centipede that flies like a chinese dragon and began to corners the area!
Pang Bing: "..... Everyone, go find the ponies..... I have an infestation to contend with."
Iago eventually helps Icky take down the Snow Hands and regains his beak as he puts it on in a Daffy Duck fastion.
Icky: "Gladly! Hurt that Ice Witch extra hard for me, Pang!"
The group runs off!
Frostbiter:... (Bug Snarl Chackle.)...... I never fancy you as one to fight against a vastly too powerful oppendent. I would figure that you'd had them help you and-
Pang Bing: If I were you, I wouldn't be foolish enough to underestimate your opponents. In fact, why not use your prophetic abilities, and see how this turns out?
Frostbiter: Okay, now your just mocking me.
Frostbiter charged forth with her Iceapede might as Pang Bing teleported away from the attacks every time.
Inside Fortress
The Group charged forth, but are quickly cornered by the Ice Renevents.
Deadpool: "Awww, fuck, forgot the ice ghosts were a fucking thing. No matter! I'll take care of them! (Takes out two flaming swords) Stole these things from Silver Samurai!"
Lord Shen:... (Sighs) You are such an annoyance and an embarrassment to us!
Deadpool: Deal with it! (He did this as he slashed at the Ice Revenants as they were slashed unconscious and into slow healing)
Iron Cheney Robot Chicken Adult Swim
From 1:26-1:47
Lord Shen:... As well as an embarrassment to yourself.
Deadpool: (He knocked out all the Ice Revenants into healing comas)... Go f*** yourself-
???: (As Deadpool was frozen except for the head) LANGUAGE!! (The Cult Leader arrived)
Deadpool:... You are SUCH a frozen d-
Cult Leader: (He froze his head) LANGUAGE!!!
Soothsayer: Oh, Chou Fu, this is adorable!
Cult Leader (Chou Fu): CULT LEADER, IS MY NAME!
Sparx: Hey, d***-waffle, we're gonna call you by your real name. Unless we get comfortable with it, it's kinda silly to- (He was frozen) BRRRR. If only Icky didn't already did the Cold Shoulder Joke, then this would've fit more better here.
Cult Leader: I, SAID, CULT LEADER, IS, MY, NAME!
Soothsayer: (Sighs) Typical of you.
Po:... You look kinda familiar.
Soothsayer: He should. He's the brother to the Undertaker with those Hopping Ghosts you fought.
Po:... Wow. Really? Another family twist!
Chaos: Tell me about it! What's next, is Tsin's evil uncle gonna be a crazy reanimated demon corpse monster- OOOOOHHHHH, TOO SOON?
Soothsayer: Sarcasm is unbecoming of you, Chaos.
Cult Leader: I am not going to let myself be stopped by the likes of you! Frostbiter is my friend, and I would never betray her friendship!
Lord Shen: Using an ice-based Faustian spell is hardly what I call 'friendship'. She basically betrayed YOU by using a long-banned spell on you. What has she ever done to you besides lie to you and everyone around you?
Cult Leader: It's purely a measure to secure loyalty! It was never anything personal! You have, NO IDEA, how annoyingly common betrayals were.
Icky: "Ok, ok, I think we all got the big picture, a lot of magic cultists I guess really wanted world destroying revenge or clearly saw she was bad-sh-
Cult Leader: (Froze his head) LANGUAGE!!
Icky:... (He smashed the ice and freed his head)... That was uncalled for! But still, don't you think the Faustian crap is a BIT extreme to secure loyalty, buddy?"
Cult Leader: Nothing is too extreme to avenge magic! Magic is a grand gift, and if people cannot appreciate it, they must pay the price! You have NO idea what it was like to be shunned by the people around you! Frostbiter lost her family to discriminators, like how I did! And that's only THE COMMEN FOLK?! THOSE IMPERIALS ARE NOTHING BUT ASSHOLES! They turned this world into a land of cruelty and evil! We created magic to try and purify it, until they showed that all they cared about was KEEPING it that way! The Lu Kais only took over because THEY WANTED TO BE TYRANTS!
Kun Lao: That is NOT true!
Cult Leader: Is it not? Lu Kai II told us himself when he brought us in. He told us, and thy quote, "Life isn't fair, and this world is meant to show it! I want people to grow from violence! What you're doing? I consider it a threat to my rule and how the world goes around! I am the leader, and you will respect that!" AKA, TYRANNY!!! HE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT WHO LIVED AND WHO DIED! ALL HE CARED ABOUT WAS THRIVING ON VIOLENCE AND EVIL!!!
Icky: "Okay, first of all, THAT Lu Kai was OBVIOUSLY a self-righteous fanatic with self-indulgent dreams and a very wrong defientation of how an imperial monarchy should work! In fact, he was clearly delusional to the fact he was being a piece of s- (He pointed his gun at him before Cult Leader froze his head again) LEMME FINISH!... In his eyes, he was being the best damn leader possible and as far as he can personally believe, you magic guys ARE a threat! Secondly, the fact that the Chi Masters turned on him proves that his bad-s*** insane beliefs are not as universal as he claims them to be, especially if he ended up being the reason why this world isn't an Asian version of Kratos where everyone has cool Chi and Magic powers. And 3rd and foremost, the majority of sane Lu Kais denounced him AND any still-loyal asshole in existence. And I bet it's true with this current Lu Kai. That being said, it was still wrong you and other magic users went through that s***, asshole ruler aside. Pang Bing was right to not indulge him on his sucky dreams of making this world a conquest happy planet, and she and other magic users that became victimized by that asshole's revenge spree via causing hate, deserved better. The world's becoming more magic friendly. Problem is, those who fail to get over it, like Soothsayer's bitch of a mom, (To Soothsayer) No offense, even if you don't mind, it just seems polite..."
Soothsayer: None taken.
Icky: "(Back to Cult Leader), Among certain others, are making it difficult for people to keep it that way when you decide that revenge is more important then common courtesy, or decency for that matter, especially if it's over something you guys already long have. The Lu Kai who hurted and harmed you guys is gone, any true loyalists are few and far in between, the imperial family dumped at least the worse of how the empire works, and the biggest one of all.... In a way, you magic guys are the reason why Chi Users are better able to balance out their good guys from bad. In thanks to Quack, Chi and Kung Fu years later began to believe in balance and harmony. Okay, sure, Quacky didn't exactly get a good thank you, especially not after that Demon-uprising s***, but, you cannot deny that, in a way, in thanks to magic, Chi can be able to better regulate itself and make up for all of it's sins, sins worse then even what happened with you guys, because, I'm sure Chi has made a lot of mistakes. But it would really help us more, if you guys stop letting a bad past define you guys who you are. Seriously, that moral's been established since KFP 2. It's time to take it to heart."
Cult Leader: "YOUR COMFERTING WORDS, CHANGE LITTLE TO WHAT LU KAI THE TERRORABLE HAS DONE?! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO BELIEVE HIS LEGACY IS GONE, WHEN THE MODERN LU KAI HAS PROVEN OTHERWISE?!"
Kun Lao: Just because the likes of those certain Lu Kai were undesirable, it doesn't mean it's true with all of them! You are letting people like him prove his point, that maybe this world DOES exist to show that life isn't fair. As much of an overused excuse that is and always will be, it doesn't mean life should be taken in vain. Kung Fu and Chi exist to bring balance. Quack's actions have proven that without Chi alone, chaos and disorder will reign instead. But that doesn't mean magic should be blamed, bastardized or hated for anyone's mistakes. Chi and Magic can work together in harmony, and that can only be so when we forget the past and focus on the future and move on. Our only real enemy is the Modern Lu Kai, and ONLY that Lu Kai. But I can't exactly say however, that your cult's, 'messiah', is far from being a pariah.
Shifu: Exactly. Villainy has always run rampant here. And magic came second. What came in to be their Yin and Yang? Kung Fu and Chi! They keep the two balanced, because if not... Well, it creates black magic. Magic is very fragile, and if in the wrong hands, it can be devastating! That's what you and your so called 'friend' is doing. All you're doing is going into a self-defeating cause. Remember what Quack tried to do. He tried to get rid of Chi himself, and all he did was inadvertently lead to the return of Ke-Pa and many Yaoguaispawn Demons! You can say that Quack did it in an idiotic way all you want, but you cannot deny the fact, that magic needs to be balanced as much as Chi needed to be! You're doing nothing but proving people like Lu Kai right.
Cult Leader: How, DARE YOU?! I trusted Chi with all my heart!! But after that invasion that brought Quack's kingdom to it's knees? I will NEVER forgive Chi for that. So what if the Chi Drought did damage? Magic could've done the same if Oogway and any other blind idiots didn't showed up and louse it up! If that overgrown turtle had stayed in the Galapagos, eventually Quack and/or more preferring Frostbiter, could've just as easily defeated that Ke-Pa, and-
Shifu: (Uppercuts him and grapples him to the ground)... Never... Insult Master Oogway, in front of me!
Cult Leader: (He bursts in magic energy)... I will do and say what I WANT! STARTING with not stopping until my friend gets what she deserves! You're not going anywhere near those ponies! (He creates a highly multi-barricaded ice wall that blocks their entire way to the ponies)... And you're not going to louse this up any further! (He traps them in with another barricaded ice wall behind them)... Magic WILL prevail! (He magically transforms into an icy mega form)
Willie:... (Chuckles) He looks as stupid as those Yetis!
Cult Leader: "What the- HEY?! I worked hard on this! Okay fine, it's not as cool as Frostbiter's Iceapede form, BUT IT GETS THE JOB DONE?!"
The Cult Leader slams the ground, causing the group to shake.
Po: "Looks like we're gonna have to smack some sense into you!"
Po charged, but the Ice Revenants, who have healed after Deadpool's vulgar rampage, pinned him down!
Po: "HEY?! NO FAIR?! NO INTERFEARENCE FROM ICE GHOSTS?!"
The Cult walked in and chant, surrounding the battlefield.
Mr. Krabs was still frozen as whimpers are heard.
Sandy: "I demand a fair fight, varmint!! No having the undead helping ya'll cheat?!"
Cult Leader: "Fine. But you guys aren't allowed to take shortcuts either, so it's fair. THAT INCLUDES USING FLAME THROWERS AND ANYTHING FIRE BASED!!"
Tigress: Says the one who said he can do what he wants!- (Cult Leader froze her head)
Cult Leader: Don't you back-talk me!
SpongeBob: (Mockingly) Don't you back-talk me!
Cult Leader: WHAT?!? (SpongeBob stuck his butt out and raspberries) You want me to keep these spirits here?
Viper: SPONGEBOB, DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?!?
SpongeBob: Hey, he's practically cheating with his-
Cult Leader: IS THIS ALL JUST A GAME TO YOU MORONS?!? THIS IS FOR REAL!!! No fire, take it or leave it! Going once, going twice-
Merlin: WE ACCEPT!
Archimedes:... Really?
Merlin: Guys, let's just accept it! There's other ways besides fire to beat him.
Kowalski: AW, COME ON!!! FIRE IS BASICALLY ICE'S OPPOSITE! It's like beating ghosts while the proper equipment to do so is sworn off! WE DON'T USE IT, WE'RE DOOMED!
Merlin: This goes down! So let's just put down our flamethrowers, yes, Rico, I'm looking at you...
Rico: (He had a POM-apparent flamethrower), AWWW!
Merlin:... Stop whining like little puppies, and fight fare while he fights fare! And I swear, if ANYONE decides to go Madam Mim on this fight, then I'll turn you into snowglobes!
Skipper: That's not gonna happen! He's clearly trying to trick us into-
Skipper: (His earholes bled) AHH! MY EARS!!! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!!
Merlin: That's more like it!
Cult Leader: I couldn't agree more! And just to make sure you DON'T go... Whoever you refer to... (He increases the temperature in the room)... This room is now so cold, fire will immediately be put out, and heat will wither away... Except of course the heat in your bodies.
Skipper: (Got an idea, along with everyone else)...
Cult Leader: Now then! Let's ice some dead bastards!
Skipper: "In an unconventional way, we are. You may've said we're not allowed to use fire or anything fire-based...... You didn't say we can't use body heat."
Cult Leader: "I-........ Son of a gun, I did forget that! Holy s-"
Everyone: "LANGUISE?!"
Cult Leader: ".... OKAY OKAY, I SEE HOW THAT WAS ANNOYING?!"
Deadpool: (As he got out through Silver Samurai's flameswords) Yeah! Now you know how I felt when Captain America in those HISHE vids kept bashing me with his shield yelling 'LANGUAGE' like a baby!
Cult Leader: "Hey, don't get smart with me, you cesspool of cuss languise and meta humor! NOW, ALL OF YOU GET OFF AND- (Form already started to melt) OH NO?! NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO?!"
The Cult Leader melts back into his normal self.
Cult member: ".... You really should've been more spefific about the fire rule."
Cult Leader: "I KNOW?! Okay you bullies! That first round didn't counted, and-"
Deadpool smacks Cult Leader through the baracaded ice wall and into the other cultists!
BOWLING PIN SHATTER! BOWLING STRIKE SOUND?!
Deadpool: "STIRRRRRRKE?!"
Cult Leader: HOW IN THE NAME OF THE DRAGON GODS' COLORFUL RAINBOW SCALES DID YOU DO THAT?!?
Deadpool: F*** you, that's how!
Cult Leader: "..... ICE RENEVENTS?! THOSE PONIES' PURITY ARE YOUR ONLY SHORCE OF FINALLY GETTING YOUR REST?! DON'T LET THEM TAKE THAT FORM YOU?!"
The Ice Renevents surrounded the heroes, one of them smacking off Deadpool's flame-blades!
Deadpool: "HEY BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE, SILVER SAMARAI'S VERY TOUCHY ABOUT THOSE BLADES?! Granted, it's not like he can kill me over it, BUT STILL?! I OWE THAT C-LISTER SOME RESPECT TO HIS PROPS?!"
Cult Leader: "NOT SO SMUG NOW, ARE YA, MISFITS?!"
Soothsayer: "Chou, what woul it take for you to finally see the truth behind any false promise mother offers?"
Cult Leader: "NOT A THING?! We're loyal to Frostbiter to the bitter end?! I had the Ice Renevents kill you, but I feel like being super merciful today, so, I'm gonna have you losers be tied up and ready for imprisonment. But look at the bright side. At least you get to see your pony friends after all. All 7 of them."
Icky had a bright idea....
Icky: "...... But your missing the most powerful one of all....."
Cult Leader: "..... Huh?"
Icky: "Oh yeah, the pink-purple unicorn and the lavender alicorn are total NOOBS compaired to the great and powerful Trixie!"
Cult Leader: "Great? And Powerful?"
Icky: "Oh yeah! Trust me! She once defeated a giant astro space bear monster, an army of mutants, a slimeball monster, and an evil has-been las vegas magdition."
Cult Leader: "Oohhhhhh! Is she pure?"
Icky: "You kidding? Those other ponies look average in compairision to Trixie!"
Cult Leader: "OHHHHH GOODIE?! I GOTTEN AN EXTRA PONY FOR FROSTBITER, AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO TORTURE THE INFO OUT OF YOU?! YAY?!..... (Ahem)! I mean, YOU FOOL! MOOOO-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?!"
Nick: "Ok, back up, look, your not a cow, it's not moo, it's "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"! Like that. You totally did it wrong."
Cult Leader: "Oh thanks I.... I mean.... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOLS?! I OWE YOU THANKS FOR YOUR INCOMPIDENCE IN KEEPING TRIXIE SECRET?! NOW, I WILL SEND THE ICE RENEVENTS TO RETRIVE HER?!"
Iago: "(Quietly) Why did you endanger Trixie like that, moron?!"
Icky: "(Quietly) Is Trixie really in danger with you-know-who around?"
Iago: "..... Ohhhh yeah."
Cult Leader: "GO, ICE RENEVENTS?! SEEK OUT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE?!"
The Ice Renevents flew off!
Main battle.
Pang Bing was still dodging Frostbiter Iceapede, as the Ice Renevents were seen heading to the direction of the other battle.
Frostbiter: "What the, huh?! WHY ARE MY ICE RENEVENTS LEAVING?!"
Pang Bing: "I thought you were Soothsayer's mother.... Oh who am I kidding, you don't need prophetic powers to know that your idiot cult leader was lead to believe that Trixie was worth seeking out. Now, those spirits will be freed, through Gazelle's Uniter Blade's purity!"
Frostbiter: "..... GOOOOOOAHHHH?! I REALLY WISH UNDERTAKER WASN'T ARRESTED?! (Tries to get the ice renevents, but Pang Bing glowed charging, turning into a dragon once again and began wreasling with Frostbiter snake/Cenapede sytile) GAHHH!? GET OFF OF ME?!"
The Duo began to spin around as they crashed into the bottom of the mountain and wreasle from there!
Crashed Van site.
The Van Group are still fighting off the Ice Dragons!
Trixie: KAAA, MEEE, HAAA, MEEE, HAAAAAAAAA!!! (She unleashed a powerful magic blast that eliminated much of the Ice Dragons)
Mayfly: (As she continued to melt the frozen cannons) That's quite impressive! Where did you learn that?
Trixie: It mostly ended up coming to me this one mission against a really nasty maronette. But really, Merlin's training pays off. Nothing proves to be an obstacle for the Great and P-
Mayfly: Great and Powerful Trixie, yeah, we get it!
Duke: Then you slayed the Jabberwocky then went on to save Narnia!
Trixie: DON'T YOU MOCK ME! I'm a big deal! Starlight was teaching me quite a lot since we met. Heck, even more then Merlin could do! I mean, he's still a great master, but I seem to connect with Starlight on a more personal level.
Gilda: And you're sure Twilight didn't mind given your little Alicorn Amulet incident? I mean, she did forgive you, but she's still afraid of you being a bad enfluence to her, even when she was argueably worser then you in compairision.
Trixie: Oh by all means, if Twilight wanted me to leave Starlight be, I'd already do so by now. Besides, thanks to me being a Shell Louger, she doesn't have to worry about me moving in that castle of her's.... That is unless the upcoming Season 7 actselly makes an episode about that. (She continues blasting at the Ice Dragons)
Gazelle: (She continued fighting in her own way as she knocked down many of the dragons)
Gilda: GET SOME!! (She uppercut, grappled, and broke many of the Ice Dragons)
Gazelle:... Really?
Gilda: Oh, come one, they're litterally made of ice! By all accounts, they're ain't even alive by proxy of that! They're like Magic Clones!
Gazelle: (Sighs), That doesn't excuse their harsh treatment reguardless. (She finished off the last of the Ice Dragons as they retreated)...
Trixie:... YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'D BETTER KEEP FLYING AWAY!! You're not a challenge to the Great and Powerful TR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RIXIE!!! I'd like to see Frostbiter offer a GREATER challenge than THAT! (Familiar sounds were heard as the Ice Revenants arrived)... AW, F*** DONKEYS!!! I WAS JOKING, YOU OLD GOA-
The Ice Renevents grabbed Trixie!
Trixie: "HEY?! GET YOUR ICEY, FROST-BITTEN, KINDA SCARY HANDS OFF OF ME, YOU AFTERLIFE DROP-OUTS?!"
The Ice Renevents paid no mind to Trixie's insult and still flew off with her!
Gazelle: "Oh no you don't! (Flies off with Sunder after them, joined by Gilda and Thunderclap and the Dactyls)!"
Coldfront: "HEY HANDS OFF OUR FAVERITE MAGICAL HORSE, YOU GHOSTS?!"
Windgust: "IF YOU STILL HAD BONES, I'LL BREAK EVERYONE OF THEM, YOU DAMN DIRTY SPIRITS?!"
Gazelle: "Guy's, it's obvious that the Ice Renevents don't care for insults!"
Downpour: "Yeah, but it's still fun to trash talk!"
Trixie: LET ME GO!!! I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON TO PICK ON!!!
Gazelle: (She charged toward them on Sunder with the Uniter Blade, the Ice Renevents freaked out and dodge, leaving only one holding Trixie, as one strike on the Ice Revenant carrying her did something that result in a glowing white light, which in the process caused it to let go of Trixie!)
Thunderclap: "DON'T WORRY TRIX, WE'LL- (Sees the light) DAH?! THE SUN'S TOO BRIGHT?!"
The Dactyls were blinded!
Trixie: (Screams until Gazelle caught her).... The Great and Grateful Trixie appresiates the rescue.
Downpour: "Sorry we couldn't help, Great one! The sun came from nowhere and done blinded us!"
Gilda: "(As she sheilded herself) That's no sun, dunderheads! I think Gazelle did something to the spirits!
Trixie: Obviously.... What exactly did you do, Hornreas?
Gazelle:.. I might've... Purified it's soul....
Back in the cave.
Cult Leader: "(He was doing a stupid victory dance while one of the frozen bodies disappeared in a light, stopping him and saw what happened)..... That, does not look good.)
Back to where the rescue heroes are.
???: (Peacock-like figure) FOR DECADES, I LAY DORMANT!! WHO HAS FREED ME FROM THIS- (He was revealed by similar to Shen, as he comically freaked out and grabbed the ledge!)... SOMEBODY HELP ME!
Duke:... (Sighs) He can't just glide down from THERE?!? I mean, come on, aren't peacocks capable of limited flight?
Zhan: Indeed, they are, and Shen is capable of such. But at THIS height, even with their gliding technique, they could still die when the height is too much. There's not much to jump off of considering the fogs, so he could end up bumping into things, especially when the strong wind can hinder their gliding.
Gilda: Speaking of Shen... Isn't that supposed to be the relative of Shen who died here?
Gazelle: I'd say so. It's best we did the same to the others.
The Ice Renevents were surprised!
Peacock: HELP ME!!!
Trixie: WE'RE COMING!!! JUST AS SOON AS WE DEAL WITH THE REST OF THESE F*****S!
Peacock: WELL, HURRY UP! (The ledge he was standing on cracked)
Gazelle: SOMEONE help him while we deal with the Revenants?
Mayfly: I'm still a little busy at the moment. The Ice Dragons froze the cannons all the way to it's controller.
Duke: YEAH, THEY WERE OVERPOWERED F*****S!
Gazelle: (Sighs) Trixie?
Trixie: (She was being sought after by the Revenants as Thunderclap flew off with her, the Revenants giving chase)
Gazelle:... Gilda! Go get- (The ledge cracked as the peacock fell with a Wilhelm scream)
Gilda: (She caught him) There, you happy?
Peacock: Don't you sass me, you insolent insubordinate! A peacock of royalty demands respect.
Gilda: Yeah, considering your relation to Shen, you would've ended up disrespected anyway.
Peacock: Wait, as in Wu Shen? Is he grown up?
Gilda:... How long have you been like this?
Peacock: What year is it?
Gilda: December 2016.
Peacock: 47 years! WOW! And my mortality was frozen along with it. That's gotta sting worse than being frozen. My family is never gonna believe this! Espeically not Wu's Parents.
Gilda: Ohhhhh. Yeeeeeah, Shen will have to fill you up on those details. Just hold on! (They flew off as Gazelle continued chasing down the Revenants who were chasing Trixie)
Trixie: (She panicked like crazy)
Thunderclap: (Trixie, in her panic, slapped Thunderclap multiple times) OW! OUCH! Miss Trixie, how do you expect me to protect you if you if you keep slapping me with those hooves? They hurt!
Trixie: IF YOU'RE PROTECTING ME, THNE RAM THOSE SONS OF BITCHES!!!
Thunderclap: Can we please have a plan that DOESN'T involve me getting hurt more than you?
Trixie: Nope.
Thunderclap: "..... You realise they're ghosts, right? Me and the team would sooner phase right through them anything of benifit."
Trixie: You don't know that. Perhaps they're ICE Ghosts that can regenerate after the slightest attack that blows them into smithereens-... I just contradicted myself, didn't I?
Frostbite: You sure did.
Trixie: Okay, you've got a good strategy as it is. FLY LIKE EASILY-FRIGHTENED BIRDS!!!
Gazelle/Duke: NO NEED TO BE SPECIESIST!
Trixie: OH, SHUT UP AND HELP US!! (Gazelle managed to use her magic to cure much of the Revenants as Sunder caught them one by one except for those who could fly)... Well, at least we're losing a few- (Ice Revenants came in front of them) AAHHHH, HOLY *Neigh*!!!
Coldfront: (The Dactyls, Revenants, and Gazelle were confused at this)
Trixie:... HEY, I'M A PONY! Don't be shocked! (She used a magic beam to melt the Revenants in their way, flying off as they regenerated)...
Gazelle: (She continued curing all of the Revenants until three were left)...
Heron: HOLY EYES OF YINGLONG!!
Gazelle: Not to worry. I got thi- (They attacked them with ice breath as they dodged) HIJO DE PUTA!!!
Lizard: WHAT?!?
Trixie: SON OF A BITCH!!!
Gazelle: WHAT SHE SAID!!!
Thunderclap: "The Uniter needs help! Dactyls! Distraction formation?! Annoy the fuck out of those spirits!"
Frostbite: YEEEEEAHH!!! (They did so, but the Revenants did the same as they spread out across them and did the same)
Gazelle: Uh, GUYS, YOU SHOULDN'T ANNOUNCE YOUR STRATEGY LIKE THAT-
Trixie: BLAST THEM OUT OF THE SKY!!!
Gazelle: DAMMIT, TRIXIE! (They attacked the Revenants)
Duke: "..... Ya know, seriously, it's like Gazelle and I are the only straightmen here."
Mayfly: Not to worry! The cannons are unfrozen. Now, does anyone here know how to use it?
Duke: Uh, we told you, none of us do!
Mayfly: Well, perfect time to learn, then.
Duke: BULLS***! We'd end up shooting someone's eye out!
Mayfly: Christmas Story pun aside, I'm sure you can do it.
Duke: Besides, why do we even need it?
Mayfly: It's clear the Dactyls are not doing well in the distraction department. Perhaps these cannons can do that. They still believe the van is deep in snow and out of the picture.
Duke:... (Sighs) Fine! Whatever! But if someone ends up hurt, I'm blaming you! (He digs into the weapon seat)... (Takes deep breath)... This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy! (Takes deep breath) Alright! (He activates the laser cannons) EAT LASER TIC-TACS!!! (He fired at the Revenants as it scattered them)
Gazelle:... At least the cannons are back in business.
Mayfly: AND SO AM I! (The two attacked as the Revenants proved to be fast enough to dodge each of their attacks)... Sweet Mother of Light Almighty! Who did THESE Revenants used to be?
Thunderclap: "Well, that depends, they look like spotted big cats."
Downpour: "And one of the looks blind in one eye."
Thunderclap: "Do we know anyone like that?"
Trixie: Eh, aside from those Wu Sister creeps, I don't know any- (She suddenly realized)... Oh, f***! (The Revenent Wu Sisters did their spinning technique and formed a hurricane-like formation)
Coldfront: OH, CRAP, THEY'RE CYCLONING OUT!!!
Downpour:... Really?
Coldfront: Oh, sorry, what would YOU have said?
Downpour: They're gonna throw us into a WHITEOUT? (The other Dactyls and Trixie laughed)
Trixie: HAH! Good one, Downy! (The Wu Revenants created a tornado with their weather powers)
Gazelle: "GUYS?! ARE WE SERIOUSLY IGNORING THE OVERLY POWERFUL ICE RENEVENTS?!"
Trixie: Not to worry! If three unlikely Kung Fu masters, and an Indigo Dragon, Cobra, and three Keyblade wielders can beat them, so can we, regardless of however they ended up this way. (They continued spinning) TARGET THE CENTER! We have to break them apart!
Thunderclap: And how do we do THAT when they're weathering us out?
Gazelle: Figure it out! You know storms like a religion, so go all out.
Thunderclap: It's not exactly a religion!
Gazelle: It RESEMBLES one! Just do it!
Thunderclap: Okay, okay! (They ended up flying around the storm, but end up spinning around the Wu Revenants' vortex out of control, but they end up balancing it and putting it in place)
Mayfly: THEY GOT IT IN PLACE! (They endured powerful weather forces)... FIRE! (They attacked the center, as it split the Wu Revenants apart, allowing Gilda, Gazelle, and Mayfly to take the three out, and a magical blast renders them back to the Wu Sisters)
Su Wu:... What the hell happened?
Wing Wu: I don't know, but we're in the Himalayas!
Wan Wu: Why?
Su Wu: "Oh wait, now I remember. We were exsiled here by the Peacock family in a secret cave after our second escape AND capture by Oogway and some friends! But, what happened afterword..... That's a blur."
Trixie: (The heroes approached them) You ended up being turned into pawns of Frostbiter.
Wan Wu: Wait, that magic renegade witch? I thought she was a myth!
Wing Wu: Apparently, she wasn't.
Su Wu: "Well, I guess I owe some thanks for freeing us of un-nessersary service to that miserable witch, but knowing the fickle nature of heroes, you'll sooner place us in jail because we are still otherwise villains! Well all the more reason for me and my sisters to take our business elsewhere!"
Mayfly: And how do you expect to get away from us even after we defeated your Ice Revenant forms?
Wing Wu: (They tried to do the vortex technique until Mayfly magically froze them in place)
Mayfly:... Nice try. You're still going back to this world's prison. (She snaps and teleports them directly there)
Chorh-Gom Prison
Su: (The three were tied up and brought to the front gates)...
Rhino Guard #1: Whoa, the Wu Sisters? I thought they'd be gone by now. Didn't they got banished to the Him-A-Layer?
Rhino Guard 2: "That's "Himalayas", idiot! And since I heard about the Lougers being here, I bet it involves some kind of hidden threat from there that brought them back in some way or another and they defeated them."
Rhino Guard 1: "Oh.... Right. That ALWAYS seems to happen. Well, if they're here, we may as well have to keep them here now."
Menawhile...
Pang Bing: (She was still fighting the Icepede Frostbiter in the dragon form, as she managed to adapt to her abilities)...
Frostbiter: Did you really think I wasn't prepared to fight someone like you? I've got an extended lifespan like you and Quack, and thus I am equally skilled in magic as you. I can adapt to any strategy you have. (She continues to do so)
Pang Bing: (Growls until Frostbiter used an ice breath, as Pang shielded herself, but it then grew in power until it was too intense for her as the shield shattered as some of her legs get trapped in ice.)...
Frostbiter: What did I tell you? If you want revenge on magic discrimination for this long, you learn anything and everything you can, including fighting any defectors like you. I can SAVE your family, if you just say the right words. If not, well, be thankful your magic body is imprevious to getting frost-bitten, otherwise you'd be ONE heck of a discovery for some future historian to uncover for a silly museum. (Pang was so angry, she melted the ice and burst into her Hero's Spiritual Spell again)... Ah, I see. The Hero's Spiritual Spell you used to defeat Don Guanlong. Well, don't think I'll be as easy to beat with that form as him or Mothlock. I will still make easy meat with you! (She uses her ice breath on her as she withstood it, with only a few icicles on her body, yet she was gone when she recovered)...
Pang Bing:... I assure you, you are no more powerful than both. I can sense it in your energy, AND your cowardice.
(Frostbiter): COWARDICE?!? You think I'm afraid of you?
Pang Bing: Would you be so determined to end this quickly if you weren't?
(Frostbiter): I am going to pretend you didn't say that. But above all else, I am not afraid! I am merely being tactical! There's a fine difference! For exsample, it's hard to defend yourself from a barrage of attacks, IF YOU CAN'T EASILY SEE THEM COMING?! (She cast a snowy fog that turned everything into a whiteout as Pang had trouble seeing as ice attacks blazed right past her)
Pang Bing: You can ease your self-shame all you like, but you have contridicted yourself. Tactics may involve not letting your enemy see you, but there is no honor inconstintly avoiding them, tactics aside. You are fighting in a way that benifits only a cowerd that wishes for a one-sided battle only they can benifit from! You're afraid to fight me yourself, by taking the form of a giant ice centipede and hiding behind magic tricks.
(Frostbiter): I expect something like that to come from the mouth of non-magic folk, not a fellow magic user. There is no shame in taking advantage of your enemies limitations without having to always personally confront them. That's what the Mother Orb would've told you if it was here. But it's not, and neither are your sisters. You stand alone here!
Pang Bing:... I'm not alone! I've got someone to stand by my side and turn me into something better. I'm growing by the moment. First by conquering Mothlock, and now you! Soon enough, I will be an Equinox master!
(Frostbiter): You're following a bunch of morons, and at the least, ineffective has-beens! Sure, those like the Uniter are earnest in being an actual challnage, but otherwise, the rest.... Half of them aren't even fighters and are more like entourage at best! That defeats the purpose of being a powerful hero team, when only a select number has any form of fighting ability!
Pang Bing: "Sometimes, the greatest of heroes don't always need to fight any potaintional threat. Sometimes, simply having the kindnest heart and a sense of right, makes the greatest difference of all."
Frostbiter's voice:...... Again, you'd only been around them for a few days, and yet already you talk exactly like them?! I mean, seriously, be honest with both of us! What have they EVER done for you over the past few days?
Pang Bing:... They gave me hope! And that's enough for me! You, however, are BEYOND hope! And I will NOT rest until I stop you from making more innocent people suffer.
(Frostbiter):... Very well! You want me to fight myself? I shall! (Icepede Frostbiter came in and reverted back to her normal form, which prompted Pang Bing to revert back from the Dragon form)... However, your out of luck if you think the Iceapede was gonna be the highlight of this battle. What I am capable off, with the Equestian Magic on my procession, makes that look like a cheap palor trick! And I have MEANT IT, that I am gonna break you hard, pussy cat!
Pang Bing: Well then..... Prepare to become very disappointed with yourself, Frostbiter.
Frostbiter and Pang Bing fired a magic beam at eachother at the same time, entering a beamlock.
Cave.
With the Graveyard empty, the culists were already overwealmed and tied togather, as Cult Leader was running like a little wuss!
The Cult Leader gets chased right into the Shrine where the statue of King Mofa resides.
Cult Leader: "(Gets into the shrine center) OHH GREAT KING MOFA?! YOUR MOST DEVOTED NEED YOUR HELP! (RAISES HIS CULT LEADER STAFF UP)!? INTRUDERS HAVE DEFILED YOUR SACRED SACTUM?! PLEASE ARISE, AND PUNSHTH THE INTRUDERS, GREAT MOFA?!"
Both the Cult Staff and the Statue began to glow.
The Heroes stopped running in responds to the sight!
Deadpool: "Oooooh! Is it Game Boss time already?"
The Giant Statue began to rise from it's stone throwen as the shrine began to shake and crumble!
Two jeweled eyes glew a magic glowing red, as does the magic symbol tattoos around it's body.
Cult Leader: "HAZZAH, TO THE GREAT KING MOFA?!"
The Statue was completely awake as it roared a Godzilla roar!
Po: ".......... I think..... I may, need to change my pants."
Nick: "Same here."
Judy: "...... Me three."
Cult Leader: "NOW, GREAT KING MOFA?! CRUSH THEM?!"
The Cult Leader laughs spaztasticly as he runs through a secret door that leads to somewhere.
Deadpool: "...... AND, CUE THE BOSS FIGHT MUSIC?!"
Kingdom Hearts Music - Squirming Evil
The Statue of King Mofa charged slowly as he roared again!
Iago: DEADPOOL, NOT HELPING!
Deadpool: FIGHT NOW! (They dodged the Mofa statue's attacks)
Po: We can handle this guys! Just because the legendary King Mofa founded magic, and knew literally every spell BECAUSE he created every spell to where he lived longer than expected to do it, until eventually disappearing not too long when he 'found literally everything', it doesn't mean THIS thing- (The Mofa statue charged up in energy and, in a similar fashion to Sci-Twi's Midnight Sparkle dream, he made everything turn into a magical realm)..... And once again, I am proven wrong. (The statue roared as it attacked, the heroes dodging as they ended up floating in the air)...
Kowalski: What... What is this?!?
Shifu: "It' possable that this is some sort of old traning ground of Mofa's."
Skipper: "Okay, can we take it easy on stroking the ego of a founder of Dreamworks China's magic too much? I think it's safe to say that this guy was good at what he does!"
Kowalski: Especially when it's TOO clear considering his name is the Chinese word for magic?
Rico: NEEEERD!!
Kowalski: STOP SAYING THAT!!!
Merlin: "Everyone! It's about time that we focus our attention on the Shrine Statue!"
Mofa attacked as all the heroes were being overwhelmed, to where even their magic were debunked every single time!
Nick: "Gees louise, no wonder why these cultists made that statue! Mofa really is assentually the King of Magic!"
Shifu: Mofa was indeed a vanguard of magic. He knows literally EVERY spell in the DreamWorks magic book. It's clear that magic is not going to win this battle.
Banzai: So what're we supposed to do, reason with it? Pbbt, as if it isn't clear by now that THIS thing is only SLIGHTLY like Mofo!
Crane: It's Mofa!
Banzai: Whatever!
Shifu:... Or is it?
Ralth: What?
Shifu: If this statue is INDEED like Mofa, then perhaps deep down, there lies the spirit of the original.
(Cult Leader): (Cackles) You're kidding, right? I just arrived to the cell of your pony friends to show that the great King Mofa is going to basicly defeat you all, and I just tuned in to THAT hilarious little statement! Do you even know WHY he's gone? You said it yourself. He has thought up all possibilities. There was no challenge left for him. No Heaven to aspire to, no Hell to avoid. He has done everything, and BEEN everything! So, it stands to reason that he committed suicide.
Shifu: No! He would be too wise for such a shameful act.
(Cult Leader): Oh, really? What is there left for anyone who has made the ultimate achievement? What is one's purpose when their purpose is fulfilled? It's not always fulfilling to be and do literally everything. That's why there is no truly-omnipotent God. Even the Gods simply cannot fathom the unfulfilling nature of literal infinity. Mofa was on top of the world, and it got old pretty fast. There was nothing left for him to do. He had unlimited power, yet didn't know what to do with it. The only thing he could do, was to shove off the mortal coil.
Shifu: Say what you want, make any argument you please. But King Mofa was simply nothing like that.
(Cult Leader): "Why are you talking like that? You never even met King Mofa?! And don't say something like you did through Oogway, Mofa was from a time even before Oogway existed?! You probulity didn't even knew Mofa existed before you got here?! So-"
Shifu: "ON THE CONTUARY! I did knew of him! Though Oogway has never personality met Mofa, when he was seeking out Quack, he came to learn of his noble intentions to create a world where magic and chi gotten along harmoniously! (The Statue stopped attacking). And everything you said about him being bored of his life is majorly false! Frostbiter never reveiled the truth to how Mofa left the world. He didn't end his life out of boredom. His magic just became so great, a mortal body could not sustain it, so he had to asend to become a spirit and let his legacy continue with a worthy successor! And it was when Mofa's great magic would invite The Space Orb to come and aid in his legacy as well as to forfill it's own wishes to make China a world of peace! Whatever Frostbiter said about Mofa, is a lie. Yes, he left his body, but not out of sueisdeal boredom, but because he needed to avoid destroying himself with his own magic. Hence why he is now a living statue, the stone had been bless by pure magic to be able to accept his ever growing power. (The red glow of the Statue began to turn green, then proceeds to free them.)."
(Cult Leader): "Wha, wha, you, YOU HAVE TO BE LYING?! What would Frostbiter have to gain from lying to us about what happened to Mofa?!"
Shifu: "Perhaps..... Taking the Ponies magic was but a practice for a far sinister goal, involving Mofa. Since she has absorbtion magic, it is not incorrect to assume, she plans to absorb the magical soul of Mofa himself, so she can make herself as unstoppable as he is and make good on her aims to avenge magic with no true challnager."
(Cult Leader): ".... This..... This can't be true! I may not be able to sense lies or truth, but, I know you have to be lying?! Frostbiter would never lie to her followers?!"
Icky: "Think about it, genius?! Why else that you didn't know about what really happened to Mofa until now?"
(Cult Leader): "Duh, I'm, I'm sure she had her reasons?!"
Soothsayer: "But they were NOT really for the good of the cult. All she really wanted was to turn Dreamworks China into a world of magic by turning herself into a harbringer. You, the cult, the ice renevents, and anyone else she has aquired is but a means to her personal ends to subugate the world over a tragity."
Nick: "Yeah! Think about it! She does nothing but insult you and degrade you!"
Mantis: "AANNND she most likely had said she prefers your brother Undertaker over you! That sounds like someone who's out for themselves to me!"
(Cult Leader): "..... YOU, YOU HAVE TO BE LYING?! FROSTBITER TOOK US ALL IN HERE WHEN THE WORLD SHUNS US?! THAT, THAT IS NOT CONSISENT TO SOMEONE LOOKING OUT FOR THEMSELVES?!"
Deadpool: "Think about it! Maybe it's possable she only did that to earn blind-loyalty! Like how she's trying to do that to Pang Bing and what she said about being capable to get her sisters back AND be able to rescue the Space Orb? In TVtropes, that's the underutilised villain tactic of doing nice things to maintain control! Basicly what Mothlock was doing! He lived up to his promises in return of periment loyalty, even at his worse?! And do we NEED to talk about the Faustian shit again?!"
(Cult Leader): "..... (Sounds of sobbing are heard)..... EVEN IF WHAT YOU SAID IS TRUE, IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL CHANGE MY MIND IN THE SNAP OF THE FINGER?! THE FAUSTIAN SPELL WILL DESTROY ME?! SO, I'M SORRY, BUT, BY PROFESSIONAL CURTICY, YOU GUYS STILL HAVE TO GO DOWN?! AND IF MOFA CAN'T BRING HIMSELF TO DO IT ANYMORE, THEN IT'S TIME FOR THE ARTILERY?!"
Suddenly, the area was surrounded by giant portals from otherworlds!
A Jurrassic Park T-Rex stomped forth and roared!
A Xenomorth Queen Came forth and screeched!
A Tank from the Left 4 Dead games charged forth and roared while banging it's chest like a gorilla!
Destroyah came forth and roared!
A war machine from War of the Worlds came forth!
The Giant Dragon from Reign of Fire came forth and roared!
An AT-AT came forth!
A Rancor came forth and roared!
The Scorpian King from The Mummy Returns came forth!
The Cybugs from Wreck-It-Ralth flew in in swarms!
The Creatures from the Geniosian Arena in Attack of the Clones came in!
The Robot from 1994's Death Machine came forth.
The monster bird from the Giant Claw flew in and roared!
And finally, the killer bunny from the Monty Python and the holy grail appeared.
Icky: "...... That, fiend! He summoned some of the most infamous movie monsters and/or machines from both popular and/or not so much popular movies and francises to sic after us!"
Judy: "..... Okaay, the vast majority I can get, but that little white bunny?"
Icky: "Judy, that's the psyco rabbit from the Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a netouriously violent rodent! Deadpool, show her."
Deadpool: "Why do I have to do it?"
Icky: "Your the one with regenerative powers, genius!"
Deadpool: ".... Ugggh. Fine! But you owe me a soda! (Readies his blades and charges off)!"
Judy: "Oh come on, it's not like that bunny really is as dangerious as it is-"
Deadpool: (The bunny ripped him apart)
Judy: ORANGU TANGER!!! (The statue suddenly got tainted by black magic as it went back to red again, as this music played)
108 Shrek 2 Game Soundtrack 42 Plaza
Nick: ANNND the giant statue of the king of magic is bad again! Just teriffic! Just peachy kee- (He was smacked off in the distance, and in thanks to the weirdness of the place, he showed up behind Judy and blammed into her)
Judy:... Ouch!
Nick: "Yeah, how do you think I feel?"
(Cult Leader): DESTROY THEM! (The manifested creatures, lead by the Mofa Statue, charged at them as they fought hard as the music played)
Shifu: It doesn't have to be this way, you know. We can remove the spell!
(Cult Leader): IT'S NOT SO SIMPLE, FOOL! The spell knows when it's about to be removed. It activates when we break our oath, or if one tries to remove it.
Lord Shen: Then how did Soothsayer and her sister get out?
Soothsayer: She shared secrets with us because she blindly trusted us as her 'future heirs'. We were able to get rid of it before it even knew we were trying. As soon as the key was given to us, we were able to outsmart her tricks because we knew every one of them, and we did so.
Lord Shen: See? SHE can tell you the secret!
(Cult Leader): IT'S STILL NOT THAT EASY?! If she tried the spell, I'm done! Besides, she's grown since that time. Frostbiter has increased the precautions of these spells. She specifically ensured in EVERY DETAIL that nobody would be freed like her traitorous daughters.
Lord Shen: DAMN YOU, FROSTBITER!!! (The manifestations continued to attack, yet the heroes were able to get rid of the T-Rex, the Reign of Fire Dragon, The Rancor, The AT-AT, but the rest, specifically the Cybugs, end up overwhelming them further with the same adaptive strategy)...
Shifu: YOU CAN'T JUST LET THIS SLIDE!!
(Cult Leader): I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!! ARE YOU SUGGESTING I SHOULD KILL MYSELF?!?
Icky: Not nessersarly. We don't want that to happen to you! But, consider it like this. Sacrifice is WORTH ensuring that villainy doesn't succeed! Heroes make BOLD sacrifices. You don't have to do this.
Sandy: Yeah! If we can't do anything about it, you might as well refuse to serve that false friend of yours, and ensure that she never succeeds.
(Cult Leader): WHAT ARE YOU MORONS SAYING?!? YOU CALL YOURSELVES HEROES?!? SUICIDE IS THE COWARD'S WAY OUT!!! I am not stopping for ANYTHING! My brother failed to uphold magic, and so many others have, and we have come too far to stop now. Lu Kai must be stopped, and DIE BY MAGIC'S HAND!!! (The statue roared loudly, and breathed powerful fire that set much of the area ablaze, making it hard for the heroes to concentrate, even though they took out the Death Machine robot, the Attack of the Clones creatures, the War of the Worlds machine, and the Left 4 Dead Tank, but the Cybugs prevented the downfall of more of the creatures as they were far too adaptable for them as they started manifesting magic and used it like twittermites, easily zapping and weakening much of the heroes into being unable to fight)
Sam: We... We're out of the picture, little pal.
Max: Defeated by magically-manifested litteral computer bugs along side a selection of movie monsters! How humiliating!
Agumon: (The Cybugs were able to use their magic to bring them down)... Ugh... Those magic bugs know how to take it outta ya!
Togemon: I can't move! Even my needles feel numb!
Kabuterimon: Now's probably not a good time to take a nap. (Ikakumon groaned)
Merlin: (He tries to summon a magic beam of light to act as a beacon, but the Cybugs blasted him unconscious)
Po: WE'RE BEING OVERWHELMED!!!
Patrick: WHAT DO WE DO?!?
The Prison of the cult cave.
Cult Leader: (Watching this unfold via a portal) In this realm, Mofa is at his nigh unstoppable! Anyone he sends here to fight have failed to stop him. You shall be no different. And thanks to the nessersary useage of dark magic.... He's now unreasonable, just as much unstoppable! Face it heroes, you're done, and Frostbiter wins!
???: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! (Gazelle and the others came in)
Cult Leader: YOU!!! I knew the disappearing bodies meant that you freed them?!"
Duke: "Oh yeah, that's EXACTAMONDO what happened!"
Gilda busted the bars down and freed the ponies.
Rainbow Dash: Aww yeah. Your ice ghosts are ice TOAST!
Rarity: "Ice Toast? Really?"
Rainbow Dash: "Hey it's one of the only things that rythmed, ok?"
Gazelle: Release the heroes, now!
Cult Leader: One problem with that, heroes! Only King Mofa can set people free of his dimension. Even if you go in there, there's nothing you could do now!? I made sure the Great King Mofa is kept from being so easily soft-hearted this time.
Mayfly:... Then we will have to do something about THAT!
Mayfly brings the other heroes into the dimention to Cult Leader's shock!
Cult Leader: "WHAT'RE YOU FOOLS DOING?!"
The Dimention.
Mayfly: (She brought the other heroes into the dimention) Now it's time for his majusty to behave like a real king. (She casts a spell)
(Cult Leader): What're you doing? (The Mofa statue ended up struggling between light and dark magic as the heroes were mere seconds to defeat, as it ended up destroying the rest of the manifestations except the Cybugs before the dark side took over)... (Cackles) Is THAT the best you can do? This is King Mofa we're talking about. The GREATEST magician in the universe. He has surpassed magicians of OTHER universes. Don't expect this to-
Gazelle: That's the beauty of it.
(Cult Leader): "Wha, wha, what?"
Mayfly: Exactly. We know Mofa himself by heart. He has balanced out days of darkness and lightness. No doubt he has mastered Equinox magic just as well in his time.
(Cult Leader):... Oh, God, no!
Duke: OH, GOD, YES! (The statue returned to green and saved the weaken heroes from the Cybugs at the same time for 50 seconds until he finally balanced himself in a yellow glowing Equinox form)...
The prison area again.
Cult Leader: (The statue flashed in bright light from the portal) No, no, NO?! HOW COULD I FAILED FROSTBITER?! I FAILED WORSE THEN BROTHER?! NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo... (Everything faded into white)...
Later at the Shrine...
The Cult Leader was laying defeated on the floor as he was seen in the shrine area again.
Cult Leader awoke gorgingly to see the surrounding heroes and the Mofa Statue in glowing yellow light.
Cult Leader screamed like a wimp in a sudden burst of engery!
The Cult Leader attempted to flee!
Sandy: "(With a lazzo) Ohhh no you don't, ya stubbern old goat!"
Cult Leader: (He was lassoed) URRGGHH!! LET ME GO YOU FOOL!! FROSTBITER IS GOING TO RIP YOU A NEW ONE FOR THIS!!!
Gazelle: I'm afraid she is still occupied with Pang. You're beyond hope now. It's time you answered for your crimes.
Cult Leader: FROSTBITER IS NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IMPRISONING ME! With her Faustian Spell, she not only claims us as property, but she can manipulate us as well! She could augment me so I could stay free if she wished!
Merlin: I doubt she'll get the chance.
Cult Leader: FOOLS! If you think Pang couldn't stay in a prison cell, what makes you think SHE will?
Icky: "That's assuming we're gonna let Ol' Frosty keep her magic."
Cult Leader: "YOUR GONNA TAKE IT AWAY FROM HER?!"
Lord Shen: "Consider it a nice alternative to a conventional punishment of sending her to the banished realms, or someplace worse."
Cult Leader: "Oh...... BUT STILL, HER MAGIC IS ALL SHE HAS TO HER NAME?!"
Mayfly: "Well perhaps she shouldn't've wasted her gift on revenge and making others suffer, even making people like you deluded to obvious facts. She took it for granted, so it's only fair she can no longer keep it."
Cult Leader: "THIS ISN'T FAIR?! Why are you against us?! We're basicly sharing the same enemy?! Lu Kai is just as much our enemy as he is yours?!"
Icky: "Well, you guys kinda lose points for ponynapping our friends with the undead, mac."
Nick: "And that faustian stuff seldom helps."
Cult Leader: "IT'S PURELY BETRAYAL PREVENTION?!"
Icky: "We get it, some of your members were being dicks, but who do you think is at fault for encouraging that shit?!"
Cult Leader was about to speak, but began to punder about it.
Nick: ".... Ohh, so THAT is what got you to think about it abit more, buddy? That is what we're trying to get across. Frosty was the one who encouraged their worse! She was the one who filled your heads with lies and hate speech. She's the one who made you people care for nothing but revenge, even at other people's expense! Every reason she used as a justification for her actions is just so you and the other cultists don't question anything she does?! Because even the smallest question or naysay is a threat to her grip on you people! One honest deviantion from her grand plans, is enough to take away her control on you guys. Look, honest tragity aside, she's no differnet then a tasteless warmonger that wants to use it as a means to make people want to go to war and believe in the treacherious belief of "an eye for an eye"! Any "Kindness" she did, is just so she can con you people into only being further hated and feared by other people, and only serve to make people like the Old Lu Kai look like he was right to do what he did. Is that what you yobos want?"
Cult Leader: "Well, I.... No, none of us don't, but-"
Nick: "Well oopsy daisy, because that's EXACTLY what you guys were doing! Look, sometimes, the only true well to deal with people that do bad things to you, is to not let them know that they can get to you, or else, everytime you act out or lash out, your only gonna make the ones who hurt you look good while making yourselves look less like victims, and more like people that deserved what they got. If you and some others just refused to stoop to their level, then they can't really hurt you, and if they try to, then everyone's gonna know that they're the true scumbags, and you were the real victims here. Look, sometimes, the best way to stand up to your oppressors, is to not show them that they can get to you. Sometimes, the more you stop bowing to their insults and do exactly what they accuse you off, then people will sympathse with you abit more and see the tormenters as such. That being said, yes, reguardless of what you guys did, we perfectly acknowledge that the Modern Lu Kai is nothing more then another stain to socity and needs to be treated like such..... But what good is punishing him, if you done it in the way he would just as easily do to other people no questions asked? Frosty may be the enemy of Modern Lu Kai, but that doesn't mean she's anyone's friend. If anything..... She's more mad at socity as a whole, then just solely the Lu Kai strain."
Cult Leader: "But Socity was the ones who-"
Nick: "Up up up! I know what your gonna say! Socity is guilty of taking him seriosuly to begin with. I know. But you something? You cult guys are being walking definitions of irony. Frosty is basicly being the magic verson of Old Wolrd Lu Kai! How so? Lu Kai and Frosty both want to get rid of things they can't control so they can control everything else! They both want to eradicate things they can't control, because they know it will come back and bite them hard! They both want to turn people into their peons and puppets to cater to their whims! And that's what Frosty's doing to you cult guys, if not worse when you bring the faustian stuff back. And need I mention on how she was never honest about King Mofa? And the fact that she was willing to hurt her own daughters because they desided that she was rightfully not worth being obedient too? If she's not even a good mother or sage..... Is she, REALLY your friend?"
Cult Leader: ".... But..... But I-"
Nick: "Yes or no!"
Cult Leader: "...... No...... No she's not. (Whelps when he saw a bit of him fading), BUT EVEN THEN, THE FAUSTIAN SPELL WILL NEVER LET ME DESERT HER?! WE HAVE TO BE LOYAL TO HER UNTIL DEATH, OR WE MAY AS WELL BE DEAD ANYWAY?! (The fading stopped)."
Icky: "THEN LET US GET RID OF IT ALREADY, JACKASS?!"
Cult Leader: "I ALREADY SAID THAT FROSTBITER IMPROVED ON THE SPELL EVER SINCE HER DAUGHTER'S DESERTION?! EVEN WITH SOOTHSAYER HERE, HER KNOWLEDGE IS LIMITED AND OUTDATED?! HALF OF WHAT SHE KNOWS MAY NOT BE ACCREATE ANYMORE?! YOU WOULD SOONER END UP CAUSING IT TO KILL ME THEN FREE ME?!"
Pinkie: "Well why not just check out that libary she has in a room behind the Mofa Statue's giant shrine chair?"
Cult Leader: "WHAT?!"
The extent of the statue's awakening exposed some parts of a spell book libary!
Cult Leader: "..... NN-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-NO?! THAT'S FORBIDDEN?! THAT LIBARY'S HER PRIVATE SANTUM?! AND BESIDES, THE BOOKS ARE IN ANICHENT DILEC?! ONLY SHE CAN UNDERSTAND AND PROPERLY EXSIRSIZE THEM?! AND SINCE YOUR GONNA TAKE AWAY HER MAGIC, THOSE BOOKS WILL BE USELESS TO YOU IN A PRACTICAL SENSE?! Anyone who attempted to enter there were frozen to the soul and killed! Face it, there's nothing you can do nor say to get me to stop. As long as this curse remains, there's nothing I can do!"
Soothayer: Then let us handle Frostbiter! It's the only way to ensure you survive!
Cult Leader: Go ahead and try! But I REFUSE to let you do so. If I do that, I'm gone!
Mayfly: Suit yourself then! We won't force you! All we can do is stop you! (She traps him in an anti-magic cage)
Cult Leader: (They left) OPEN THIS CAGE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!? GET BACK HERE!!! (They were gone)... D'aww, poopy....
Meanwhile...
Pang: (The two were still in their beam lock as they ended up adapting to each other's power, constantly overpowering their beams)... OKAY, THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 5 MINUTES! (She pushes hard enough to blast Frostbiter to hit a wall and fall into snow)
Frostbiter: FMMMPH!!!
Pang Bing: (Turns into the Hero's Spiritual Form again)... It's over Frostbiter! I will not stand by while you let innocent people turn our kind against our peers!
Frostbiter: (She bursts in power) I WILL NEVER STOP UNTIL EVERYONE REGRETS THEIR MISTREATMENT! (She causes the area to tremor as the ice cracks) YOU WILL GET THE CHANCE TO WATCH YOU FRIENDS DIE IN A MAGIC INFERNO, AGAIN!
Pang Bing: NO! NOT THIS TIME! (She unleashes a powerful shockwave that ends up causing not just magical dragons as long as Shenron to heal all the evil magic used, freeing her soul slaves, undoing everything, and inevitably destroying her magic)
Frostbiter: NO! NO! WHAT'RE YOU-... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!? (She slowly gets weaker)...
Pang Bing: What I had to do! The Hero's Spiritual Spell has a magical penance capability that not even the BEST and ADAPTABLE of magic users can overcome. YOU are no exception.
Frostbiter: (Growls, and fails to use her magic as it shorts out)... YOU... YOU TRAITOR!!!
Pang Bing: NO! I'm NOT the traitor! Not anymore! YOU'RE the traitor here! You had a chance to make magic more appreciated in an outdated time, and in a moment of revenge and bitterness, you ruined it all! I was only in that dark path because I was manipulated by a monster! You went down the same path all by yourself! Now that you've done something stupid and ruined a part of your family's life, I've done the right thing, and stopped you from ruining other people's lives! You have no choice but to surrender!
Frostbiter: (Growls and breaths angrily, thinking of her hurtful past)... I... WILL... NEVER LET IT GO!!! (She tries to attack, but her age has caught up to her)... URRGGHHH!!! (She fell to her knees and hands)...
Pang Bing: Don't think you can still fight. The only spell that remains is your youth spell, and it is a non-offensive spell, and it will not prevent you from being killed. You're finished.
Frostbiter: (Growls)... I... I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!!!
???: No you won't! (The other heroes arrived, Gazelle being the one to speak) Because your terrorable reign is over.
Frostbiter: "...... So, that worthless cult failed eh? Whatever. I will simply have to fine a replacement force. I'm tired of having to attend to those collection of whiners and sympathy whores?! And I'm done with the incompidence of Cult Leader?! He can freeze to death in this worthless mountain for all I care?! His loyalty, means absolutely nothing to me?! Those cultests were only a way for me to be able to atthive my revenge without fear of being overwealmed?!"
Nick: "..... Just as we thought. You truely don't care for anyone. Not even yourself. Your basicly the enbodient of historicly created revenge."
Frostbiter: "I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE?! MY KIND WERE HUNTED TO NEAR-EXTINCTION BECAUSE OF CHI WEILDERS?! AND FOR WHAT?! BECAUSE SOME CAT DOESN'T WANT TO ENTERTAIN A FOOL'S GAMBLE?!"
Pang Bing: "And apart from the unfortunate aftermath, I otherwise have NO regrets refusing service to him?! I saw that what he did to magic, would've been what he could've done to others if they refused to bow. That being said. I'm sorry if an otherwise wise decidtion lead to everyone's suffering. If I or the Mother Orb had known sooner, I would've done more then mere refuseal. And I am already doing more then just avenging magic. I'm also avenging the china that could've been. I thank you for reveiling what the Modern Lu Kai has been doing, and soon enough, he will be stopped. But first.... We must ensure that you are kept from ever seeking revenge on us."
Frostbiter: "AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT?! EVEN WITHOUT THE FAUST SPELLS, THOSE IDIOTIC CULTISTS WOULD BE TOO LOYAL TO ME REGUARDLESS?! MY WORD IS ALWAYS LAW TO THEM?! IT IS MY WORD, AGAINST YOURS?!"
Judy: "Uh, yeah, Hi, Judy Hopps speaking, and, I hate to be the breaker of bad news, but, (Brings out her carrot pen) It's, YOUR word against yours. (Presses a button and Frostbiter's rant is replayed as the cultists who were freed from their bondings heard it and shared equil faces of shock, where it was reveiled that they freed Cult Leader as he looked broken and betrayed, as Frostbiter lost her anger and was replaced with fear)"
Cult Member 1: "...... The great sage, never cared for us...."
Cult Member 2: "She, lied to us."
Cult Member 3: "Everything we did.... Was for nought."
Cult Leader struggled to not cry outloud..... But his face turned into no longer repressed anger?!
Cult Leader: "I, CANNOT BELIEVE, I WAS SO, BLINDED?! I SHOULD'VE WISELY FORSEEN THIS?! THE INSULTS?! THE DEGRADING?! THE PHRASING OF MY BROTHER, WHO'S NOT THAT MUCH OF AN IMPROVEMENT OVER ME CONSIDERING HIS RAISE THE DEAD PLAN FAILED?! So, the lougers were right...... WE WERE JUST A MEANS TO END FOR YOU, JUST LIKE WHAT YOU TRIED TO DO WITH MOFA?!"
Frostbiter: "Wait, wait, wait, that, that didn't even sounded like me! It's a talking demon carrot?!"
Cult Member 4: "Some of us heard your anger born rant from even afar! What we heard in closer inspection only clarify the truth!"
Cult Leader: "...... YOU MADE ME INTO A MONSTER?! YOU MADE US ALL INTO MONSTERS?! I...... I WAS GONNA HELP YOU RUIN THE WORLD?!"
Frostbiter: "OH DON'T START FORGETTING WHAT THE WORLD DID TO US?! YOU ALL WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS MOUNTAIN IF IT WASN'T FOR THEM?! AND EVEN THEN, QUACK WAS AT FAULT FOR NOT TAKING ME SERIOUSLY?! IF HE HAD ONLY HEEDED MY WARNING, WE ALL WOULDN'T'VE BEEN SO BROKEN?!"
Cult Leader: "I can't deny nor blame that Quack behaived the way he did?! But he had his reason! At the time, he trusted that there would be those that would know better then take Lu Kai the Terrorable too seriously! Okay, fine, he should've been more cautious, but you can't blame him for wanting to give faith to other people. I see now that your only like this because you live in enturnal shame of the fact that you saw a terrorable event and wanted to prevent it, but failed even dispite your prohetic powers, AND THAT'S ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT BECAUSE OF YOUR OCD!! (She was shocked)... Yeah, don't think I wasn't gonna go there. Quack may've been too trusting in an obviously dangerous time, but that does not mean that he was wrong to be trusting. Inadvertingly, by causing the Chi Drought, he allowed the truely good ones to get rid of Lu Kai the Terrorable and educate the rest on how to use any great gift respondably. It lead to the creation of heroes...... (Turns to the lougers with a long, sorrowful face)..... Like them. (Gives a small, awkword, if not still happy smile)..... (Gets serious again as he stared back to Frostbiter) ONCE great sage and friend to King Mofa or not, YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME TO MAGIC AND WASTED THE LOUGERS TIME IN SEEKING OUT THE MODERN LU KAI?!"
Deadpool: "YEAH SHE DID! WE'VE BEEN STUCK ON THIS SCENE FOR SEVERAL WORK-DAYS!"
Frostbiter: "Oh like you idiots were any better?! YOUR THE ONES WHO TOOK ME SERIOUSY?! AT LEAST I GAVE YOU SHELTER REGUARDLESS OF ANYTHING, GIVEN THE CITY IS A WORTHLESS MESS?!"
Cult Member 5: "Well it's time we forsake this cultery nonsense, became REAL citizens of the city and return to our real home?!"
Cult Leader: "But first, we're gonna put you somewhere you can never harm or corrupt anyone ever again?!"
Frostbiter: "You don't have the guts, Cult Leade-"
Frostbiter: "YOU PHATHIC INSOBORDENENT INSECT?! IF I STILL HAD MAGIC, I-"
Cult Leader repeatedly smacked Frostbiter until the pain was bad enough to reduse her into a whimpering mess of a former shell!
Cult Leader: "...... Say it, you icy BITCH!!"
Frostbiter: (She tried to escape, but her age caused her to be caught in a flurry of dangerous magic)
Cult Leader: I SAID SAY MY F*****G NAME!! (Frostbiter was in magical pain) SAY IT! SAY IITT!!
Frostbiter: CHOU... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! (She was turned to stone as everyone was shocked)
Cult Leader:... And DON'T you forget it!
Soothsayer:... Chou?
Cult Leader: What, were you gonna throw her butt in Chorh-Gom Prison? No doubt it's possible for her to get her powers back, so this was the best punishment I could afford.
Icky: (Dubbed as Timon) He has a point.
Iago: "But what do we do with her now as a statue? Surely just leaving her alone after the power she can process would risk intrige from the villain teams."
Lord Shen: "Well, I believe the Pariah Wing needed some decorations anyway. And that, (Points to Frostbiter's statue), looks like a charming little centerpiece."
Kolwalski bought out a pocket dimention cube and sucked the Frostbiter statue in.
Pang Bing: At least she's done.
Hai Hoi: I couldn't agree more. Now, then. It's time to cut to the chase. You all are here to meet me so I can help Pang with her path to enlightenment, yes?
Pang Bing: Yes.
Hai Hoi: Then, in return for all this, I will repay my gratitude with your request. Come with me.
Deadpool: ABOUT DAMN TIME! It feels like it's spring time now, and it's STILL Christmas! That's good, quite frankly, but-
Nick: (Sighs) Will you stop confusing us with that fourth-wall crap?
Deadpool: I'm Deadpool, so, no. How about YOU stop with the foxy smartassitude?
Nick: Ooh, savage. But at least I didn't let being ugly OR being a fox get to me.
Duke:... Double savage! Gonna need more than a healing factor for that one.
Hai Hoi: Let's just move. (They left)
Snowise and Rat Wing were watching from afar.
Snowise: "..... (Gulps)..... I don't think the boss will like where this is going."
Lu Kai's lair.
The Bandits were leaving enmasse after what was heard in the convoy fight insodent.
Lu Kai: "YOU MISERABLE IDIOTS?!"
Whip Master: "Great Lu Kai, believe me, I was tricked into this by some yetis that I have never recall seeing before!"
Lu Kai: "Whatever the case, you costed us what could've been a grand addition to my army! Your lucky only Skun can punish any screw up, and that he's away on going after Snow Hog, and since your one of my stronger yetis, I'll let you off with a warning! But I want you to return that favor by sending out a hunting party to those yetis to made you an idiot?! Go to where you last saw them, and scearch from there. When Snowise and Rat Wing return, I might be able to give more details in due time."
Snowise and Rat Wing arrived.
Lu Kai: "Wow you guys are quick! Any news?"
Snowise: "Well, ya see boss, turns out the riot causing yetis, may have turned out to have been the Lougers in disguise and made the Whip Master look like a smooe"
Lu Kai: "..... WHAT?! This was THERE FAULT!? Thanks to them, no bandit within miles of here would trust me?! Well, had you at least pin-pointed their location?"
Rat Wing: "..... They, found Hai Hoi and defeated the Ice Witch, sir."
Lu Kai made a surprised face......
Lu Kai: "...... They defeated the magic cult?"
Snowmise: "Ehhh, 50/50. They caused the smooes to turn on her and the Cult Leader turned her to stone!"
Lu Kai: "..... Well, good to know they're even better then I expected. The future emperor of everything could not asked for a greater challnage! Not only that, but I think that they are about to realise, that Snow Hog would not be able to know about everything in time...."
Lu Kai laughed as Liu Kai was secretly listening to this and sighed sadly.
Xizang Palace.
Skun and the selected Yetis arrived at the outskirts of the palace.
General Skun: "..... Hmmmm..... I can smell that hog from here. I never forget the smell of rusty metal. It does NOT compliment the pig stink..... Let's move in, boys."
Palace Centrol.
The Yetis barged in and freaked the people out!
The Guards were too intimidated as Si and Du bowled them over with a Bowling Pin scatter sound!
Fu Wi gasped from the palace window and saw the attack!
Fu Wi: "OH NO?!"
Fu Wi ran off!
Mah Jong's throwneroom!
Fu Wi: "YOUR HIGHNESS, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK?!"
Mah Jong: "AWESOME?! MORE EXCITMENT?!"
Fu Wi: "...... Keep in mind, THAT THE LOUGERS AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE NOT YET BACK?!"
Mah Jong: "..... Okay, even I have to limit myself on enjoying the awesomeness of these situations."
Fu Wi: "THANK YOU SIR! Espeically when it's the Yetis in question! They're here for Snow Hog!"
Mah Jong: "Well, obviously the tots smart thing to do is to NOT let them know where he is, which is the well secured safe room, and even then, they can never get in as long as Snow Hog-"
Fu Wi gasped and saw that Snow Hog was out of the safe room and walking torwords the front door!
Mah Jong: "..... Annnnnd, there goes the smart thing. PPFFFT! Just like that! Gone."
Fu Wi: "Snow Hog! What're you doing?!"
Snow Hog: "..... Making sure this city doesn't suffer because of me. I'm giving them what they want, and I will not let neither of you stop me."
Snow Hog left.
Outside.
The People were circled in by the Yetis.
Skun, with Si and Du, came in.
General Skun: "...... I believe these people would make lovely additions in helping out in the production of the Ma-Chi Titan. Lu Kai will be pleased. Get the chains ready and-"
A blast of chi was seen as some Yetis were sent briefly flying, to the others surprised, but Skun shrugged it off as if he anpsipated it.
Snow Hog was seen walking in, with a blacksmith hammer on stand-by.
General Skun: "........ (Laughs confidently)....... I knew your too brave to hide from us, Chi Blacksmith."
Snow Hog: "This city shouldn't suffer just because of any latest tirade from Lu Kai.... I have heard that the bandits have ditched him because your cousin proved to be incompident, Skunk Ape!"
General Skun: "IT'S SKUN KAPE?! And this attack was called out, BEFORE that insicent. If anything, all that did was made us abit more aggresive to this stupid city for being the shorce of the problems. But that matters little. The real point in all this, is you. Basicly, Lu Kai either wants you dead or captured to return work on your creation, the Ma-Chi Titan! He will make peace with either way. But I think it would be benifital to him to have you alive to finish his great weapon sooner. But personally for me........ Well, let's just say, I still enjoyed your former leg, Hog. If you were to die now, it won't be a big disappointment to Lu Kai. As we speak, your designs to it are coming to fruition."
Snow Hog: "I was not of right mind when I made the mistake of agreeing to such things. I refuse to make the Ma-Chi Titan complete in a faster scale."
General Skun: "I like that moxie! If only so I can see it crumble like fine china! (To the other Yetis) ALLOW ME TO DEAL WITH HIM, BOYS?! He's mine."
Snow Hog began spinning the hammer around and causing some glowing chi.
General Skun: "I have no quilms in dragging your pulped up body to Lu Kai, Hog. After all. Your the reason why I am minus an eye."
Snow Hog: "Then hope your won't end up blind from this."
General Skun: "Insults will only encourage me to hit HARDER?!"
General Skun roared as he banged his chest!
General Skun charged!
Skun and Snow Hog began to fight!
Isolated cave.
Liu has brought Boss Wolf, Lieren, and Wag Lang to it.
Liu: ".... This is where the Yeti Elder is held down in. Know that he's abit weaken and drained, but he's friendly enough."
Boss Wolf: "Well thanks for living up to the promise of taking us to the Elder. We're gonna need his help."
Wag Lang: "But CLEARLY, we might have to help HIM out first. He could only do so much chained up."
Liu: "I have to earn you though. He's trapped under some very strong chains. You have to be really strong to break them."
Boss Wolf: "Well, I don't mean to brag or nothing, but, I have the strentgh of ten thoundson wolves! I could practicly be my own army!"
Lieren: "(Giggles), and yet a Panda can defeat you no problem?"
Boss Wolf blushed.
Boss Wolf: "Hey, now, he was well trained in Kung Fu you know!"
Lieren: As are we. You have the potential to learn it yourself since your family legacy is famous for their Chi.
Boss Wolf: Honestly, mother, this is quite a lot to take in. Before we help out the Elder Yeti, I have to ask... How did it come to this? I mean, how I lived in Gongmen City with foster parents.
Lieren: Well, you and your sister were meant to be the ones to defeat Jir Ki and the Chi Mons, so we had some friends to take you there to one day prepare you to meet that destiny.... But..... We did not counted on complications.
Boss Wolf: ".... Ya mean, me and Dai Shi ending up being idiots with our life choices? And that Gazelle is more or less the one who saves Shangra La instead?"
Lieren: "Well, perhaps it was not our ideal way to save our city, but better you came back a long time later then to never at all."
Boss Wolf: ".... That, really means alot to me to hear that from you..... I, am so sorry I ended up being a failed savior."
Lieren: "You may've not went the way we intended, but you did something better. You joined forces with other heroes. That is even better then any intended destiny. Now, let us move on. We must seek out the Yeti Elder."
The group entered the cave.
Boss Wolf: (A moan was heard)... Was that the-
Wag Lang: Yes, that was the Elder. What else would it be?
Boss Wolf:... A monster?
Lieren: (Chuckles) You're still as funny as you were as a puppy.
Boss Wolf: So I've heard from my foster parents. (The moan was heard again)
Lieren:... I think he knows we're coming.
Boss Wolf: I can see. (They entered as they noticed an elderly Yeti who, despite being old, is balancing himself on a stalagmite in a dark cave with waterfalls)... Oh, that can't feel good.
Lieren: Oh, trust me, his Chi-Ki balance is so harmonic, he can even stand on the tip of the sharpest thorn and not get impaled.
Boss Wolf: That doesn't make it anymore weird.
Yeti Elder: (He jumped down) Welcome, Lieren. I see you have finally found your son.
Boss Wolf: Well, yeah. Never really knew I had Chi in my blood. Thought Dai Shi learned it as slowly as any other guy.
Yeti Elder: Chi is life energy, and is therefore hereditary. Chi families can learn faster than average. It's clear that you have yet to master your own Chi.
Boss Wolf: Not that I wanted to until now. In fact, did my sister know?
Wag Lang: No. She doesn't know of her heritage yet.
Boss Wolf: Well, until she gets over the fact she made a major mistake, we may want to hold up on that.
Yeti Elder: "Well, onto matters at hand. I trust you came to me because you need help in putting my, "unenlighten" son in his place and get the Yeti Clan back in order?"
Boss Wolf: "Well yeah! And since your not as chained up as I expected, you can totally help us out and-"
Yeti Elder: "Believe it or not, I am held up. But not by conventional chains."
The Yeti Elder tries to leave, but as he does, omnious black chains appear on him from the sunlight and kept him from going further. The Yeti Elder leaves back in, the chains vanished.
Boss Wolf: "..... I wish Po was here to tell me what the fudge did I just saw!"
Lieren: "They are anichent sun-visability imperial black chains of exsile. They are chi-augumented chains designed like no other. In the place of exsile, your free to do what you wish. But if you try to leave, the chains appear and keep you from leaving. These chains were used in Lu Kai the Terrorable's reign many years back."
Yeti Elder: "And it's a safe bet Lu Kai the Misery Bringer got the idea of getting these things involved. Otherwise, you would think I would've smacked some sense back in my sons by now."
Boss Wolf: "Well how are we suppose to free you from chains that only showed up on sunlight?!"
Yeti Elder: "Well, why did you think I gave Liu the Summoner Assessery for the Uniter Keyblade convinently in an area where the Holy Chi Fire Phenox resides? I wager the Uniter would get me out of here."
Boss Wolf: ".... Ohhhhhhhhhh, Wolf."
Yeti Elder: "..... Let me guess, Liu forgot to say that, did she?"
Boss Wolf: "..... Well, you kinda have to understand, the others needed to find Hai Hoi, and-"
Yeti Elder: "Ohhh, boy. I was afraid of that. Ya see, as much as Skun Kape is abit of a stupid boy right now, he's at least productive and has some DAMN good generals. Your friends are not gonna have a good time. I bet right now, while Skun goes after Snow Hog, who I assume you misfits brought into the nearest city, he has sent some guys, likely his whip master cousin, Ku Whip, to secretly follow those misfits to Hai Hoi's soon to be former secret temple. Without me to assert my dominance back in the clan and putting my unenlighten son back in his place, all they're gonna do is play right into Lu Kai the Misery-Bringer's hands."
Boss Wolf: "..... Ohhh, double wolf."
Yeti Elder: "And what I just say, is nothing compaired to his dreaded Ma-Chi Titan plans."
Boss Wolf: "Ma-What now?"
Yeti Elder: "The full name is Magic-Chi Titan. That weapon is a monstrosity! Designed to be powered by both magic and chi! This generations' Lu Kai wants to turn Hai Hoi into it's shorce of chi, while using a healing magic space orb to power it's magic side, along side making himself a master of both magic and chi. If this weapon is allowed to be completed, there will be no stopping Lu Kai. The one he has in production is enough to congure the whole world in a fell swoop. But if he can be able to mass produce that treacherious weapon, enough for every world known and to be known, soon the Universes will become a playground to a self-rightious bovine, as no world would be safe from him."
Boss Wolf: "..... Oh, triple wolf."
Wag Lang: ".... Son, I believe your friends may very well need you."
Boss Wolf: "WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS?! WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET?!"
Lieren: "We'll worry on how to get the Elder free. You must get to your friends and alarm them."
Boss Wolf: ".... Peng and Lian! They stayed behind the Mekong river to teach those fish how to fight?! I, I, I gotta get to them first! But how am I gonna get to them quick enough?!"
Lieren: "I believe there's some friends of Zhan that would be happy to help."
Later.
Boss Wolf was screaming as he was held by Qui-Qui who she and Wi-Wi were jumping around the area in fast speeds!
Lieren and Wag Lang watched on.
Wag Lang: "..... Let's, hope he can handle the trip."
Mekong River
Peng: (The Crash Tsunami music was playing as the two were using the leeches as breathing apparatuses as they helped build a few fight clubs, along with Mekong and many others)...
Diao: I'm still a little uncomfortable about these things. What if they get hurt here? What if they use their skills for evil?
Lian: (Speaking through leech) We assure you that we strictly encourage these skills for good, Mayor. But consider this. There is a Yin for every Yang. When there's bad, good is sure to defeat it. Bad is not a concern as long as the people have a sense of justice and self-defense. That concern is what fight clubs were banned for before we came.
Peng: Exactly. It has risks, yes, but in this case, the plus effects can outweigh the minus effects.
Diao:... I suppose that is true. Maybe you're right. Maybe this is what the Mekong River needs, especially since I was almost killed a while ago.
Peng: Trust me, Mayor. You won't regret this.
Diao: So you guys are gonna stick around to ensure this goes successfully?
Lian: Well, we are here to deal with Lu Kai, but we also have to leave before Christmas, otherwise a senator acquaintance of ours is gonna throw a hissy fit.
Leech #2: Uh, you two, you might wanna give us a break for us giving you air down here. While we are good at that, it kinda works us out.
Peng: That's fine. We need to talk to the surface inhabitants, anyway. (They swam to the surface and walked into Dêqên County, as they saw a series of trees being pushed aside from a far distence.) Hey, what the-
Qui-Qui and Wi-Wi leaped up in the air, with a still screaming Boss Wolf as Lian and Peng freaked out!
The Kirin duo landed at the side of the river!
The dust settled.
Qui-Qui: "..... Okay, Mr. Wolf. Your free to go now."
Boss Wolf had his fur incredably ruined as he had the face of a freaked out spaz, as apawn being let go, Boss Wolf plopped to the floor.
Wi-Wi: "........ Maybe he should've just rode one of us instead of being carried."
Lian: "Okay, pardon the languise, but, WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON?!"
Boss Wolf: "ALOT OF CRAZY THINGS WENT DOWN?!"
Peng: Oh, yeah, how're they doing?
Boss Wolf: Well, a lot happened. Turns out the Chi-Tanuki aren't real, were being impersonated by Chimon creations of the Yaoguai, Lieren is not a Chi Parasite villain, she's my real mother, we split up, and now... They may be in some deep s***.
Peng: S*** in what variety?
Boss Wolf: (Sarcastically) Oh, the good nice-smelling kind, WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?
Lian: That sarcasm is not called for.
Boss Wolf: (Sighs) Well, turns out, leaving Snow Hog at Mah Jong's kingdom wasn't a good idea as the Yetis are soon to attack, OR EVEN MAY'VE ALREADY HAD?! AND Lu Kai's planning something big concerning this big-ass Chi-Magic superweapon, and Lu Kai wants to fuel the Chi side with Hai Hoi while Pang's Mother Orb is used to fuel the magic side.
Peng:... (Sighs) I should've known!
Lian: I knew it was a bad idea from the start. But we can't get there in time! We're scattered, we don't have the van, nor a means of transport fast enough, and we have a lot to do on our hands.
Boss Wolf: "AHEM! I just got here in Dragon-Horses from Japan!"
Peng: "..... Oh, right. That's one thing. But there's still the matter of the training and-"
Boss Wolf: "Well your gonna have to re-sugdule because if we don't do this, by the time your finished, all that training would be freaking pointless because of Lu Kai's weapon!"
Peng: ".... Your right."
Peng and Lian got onto Qui-Qui and Wi-Wi, as Qui-Qui held up Boss Wolf again, to his dismay, as the duo ran off with Boss Wolf screaming!
Diao: "(Surfaces up) Peng, Lian, I want to ask on how you plan to- (Notices that they are gone.....) They're gone? Well what do they have to do in such a hurry that was more impourent then training us? Well, I imagined it must've been serious..... But wait..... No fighting teachers means no fight club...... I have a strange feeling in being relieved that I don't have to sacrivice my personal beliefs, yet also being fearful of disappointing everyone. What do I do now?...... Maybe, I can have Oriental Claw, Bing, and Xiyi to cover for them instead? I mean, even if it's no perfect or as promised, but it's better then nothing! And with Deqen busy with the crazy legal disputes and with Zushu too busy babysitting his daughter in her daily swims, I'll have to meet up with them myself."
Diao went back in the water.
Mah Jong's Palace
Skun and Snow Hog battled still!
Snow Hog: I WILL NOT LET YOU FULFILL YOUR EVIL IMPERIAL MASTER'S WISHES!
General Skun: AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
Snow Hog: I will do what I must! (He ends up getting beaten)...
General Skun: Oh, who would've seen that coming?
Yeti #1: I didn't!
General Skun: SHUT UP, FEI DANSHI!!!
Snow Hog: Your master... He is turning you into something you're not for his own selfish goals. He thinks he's the best because he's of Imperial lineage, so he thinks he can get everyone to do as he says, including you. He's playing you!
General Skun: Are you kidding? Lu Kai is a GREAT person! He gave us a greater role besides being infamous for causing those nasty Yeti rumors... In this world, anyway. He gave us purpose. He gave us power! He gave us the chance to be something bigger.
Snow Hog: I hardly call usurpation a way to be known. That's just as infamous as the Yeti thing.
General Skun: Maybe so, but it's better than rotting frozen in the Himalayas for the rest of our lives because of our changed forms.
Snow Hog: That's how he manipulates you. He makes you insecure about your appearances, and uses that to manipulate you. Lu Kai II was known for such a cunning strategy. He turned people against each other, he played with people's relationships, crushed them, made them less, so such less that it set off the events that made this world needing of Kung Fu masters. You think he's helping you, but he's not at all. He's just using you for his own selfish means to honor a name that deserves no such thing. He deserved what he got, and so does THIS Lu Kai!
General Skun: Enjoy your words, Snow Hog! Because they will be your very last! (They continued fighting)
Mah Jong and Fu Wi were watching from afar in the palace.
Fu Wi: "This is a dark day for the city indeed."
Mah Jong: You're right! Parhaps not all things are as exciting as a cartoon where people fight and beat each other up. When it's real, it's not as fun as a battle royale. Sometimes it's a little too serious enough to be afraid of it.
Fu Wi: Well, this is further improvement to what you said in the throwneroom earlier.
Mah Jong: Well, mainly because my favorite restaurant got wrecked in the process.
Fu Wi:... (Sighs) And you just ruined the moment! But at least your taking this seriously, if not for the proper reasons.
The duo saw the battle between Snow Hog and Skun intensifying!
General Skun: (He pushes him to the ground as he bumped into several props)... It seems were done here! Boys, cuff him! (They did that as the cuffs were acupuncture cuffs charged with his Chi) Don't bother trying to use your Chi. The more you try to use it, the more it absorbs and steals your Chi and tightens and becomes more escape-proof.
Snow Hog: YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!? MY MOTHER CREATED THESE CUFFS!!!
General Skun: I know! Ironic, isn't it? (Cackles) Take him away!
???: Or take him to US! (Peng, BW, Lian, and Qui-Qui and Wi-Wi came in)
General Skun: Oh, look, it's the nephew of Tai Lung and his girlfriend, the son of the Chi Wolf of Shangri-La, and-
Yeti #2: AND TWO KIRIN!!! Aw, crap!!! We all know they are more powerful than Qilin!
Qui-Qui: That's right, baboon-butt!
Yeti #2: Hey, we're NOT baboons! Just because we look like them, it doesn't mean we have their colorful asses! And we're very sensitive about that stereotype, and it demeans the legendary Japanese macaques, who are just as-
Wi-Wi: Okay okay, we get it, we didn't asked for a script for National Geographic! We were joking!
Boss Wolf: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! Let's just cut to the chase, and kick these guys butts!
General Skun: MEN?!
Yeti #4: Someone check the clock, because I believe it's GO TIME!! (They all blasted Chi-Ki at them as they dodged)
Yeti 5: "Damn it! Our aim was off by a few lousy seconds! We should really-"
Wi-Wi came from nowhere and kick-flipped Yeti 5 into a building!
Yeti 5: "OW?!"
Yeti 6: "Holy s*** that- (Qui-Qui came from nowhere and kicked Yeti 6 painfully in the crotch) YIPE?! (Qui-Qui sumersulted through the opening between the Yeti's legs and judo kicked him into barrols)! OHHHHHHHHH?!"
Yeti 7: "(Tries punching at Lian but misses) HOLD STILL, YOU LITTERAL PUSSY!?"
Lian grabbed Yeti 7, spun him around and sent him flying away from the city and crashing somewhere nearby as he screamed!
Blam!
Yeti 7's voice: "..... Ow."
Yeti 8 and 9 surrounded Peng, but a quick display of kung fu redused the duo into embarrising defeat!
Boss Wolf smacks a hammer into Yeti 10's face!
Boss Wolf: "OH YEAH, SNOW MONKEY PWNAGED!"
General Skun was sneaking in the shadows with Snow Hog as the battle went down.
After awhile, the Yetis began to faulter and retreat!
Boss Wolf: "OHHH YEAH?! MAJOR WIN?! We saved the city and-..... Snow..... Hog?"
They noticed Snow Hog gone.
Qui-Qui: "...... I, think the leader yeti pulled a fast one."
Wi-Wi: "No kidding, She-Lock."
Boss Wolf: "...... Ohhhhh, Wolf."
Peng: "Is it possable to seek them out!"
Fu Wi and Mah Jong entered in.
Fu Wi: "It's not so simple I'm afraid. Once the Yetis disappear into their element.... There's no relocating them. It's why the actual creature is so elusive in legend."
Peng: "...... THEN WE HAVE TO GET TO THE LOUGERS AS QUICKLY AS POSSABLE?!"
Path to Hai Hoi's temple.
The group was finally lead to the temple.
Hai Hoi: "Tread lightly. Sometimes we lay out traps here and they have been neglected to the point that we seemed to have forgotten their location. So do NOT walk far from the recammended path, or risk forfilling their long delayed destiny."
Icky: "Thanks for the warning, lady. We would totally avoided predictable comedical scenarios with that warning in mind, espeically at a moment when it's time for things to get serious."
Hai Hoi: Quite. Come in. (They do as they enter a beautiful plant-covered and waterfall to reach into an area outside of an underground Temple)
Pang Bing:... This is a clever hideaway.
SpongeBob: (They noticed Sandy was behind)... Sandy? Why are you standing there?
Sandy: You know why! I don't want you to-
SpongeBob: Oh, come on, even I know when that s*** is not necessary. Just come on through, and don't worry about my little inappropriate turn-ons.
Sandy:... You royal promise?
SpongeBob:... Really? We had a season 1 finale stating that those things end poorly for those that screw-up too easily! I mean, something like that is too dangerious with someone of my issues!
Sandy: Okay, you're right overkill! Pinkie swear?
SpongeBob: (They do it as she went through and he was able to resist it enough as they entered the area.)
Hai Hoi: ".... May I introduse you to, my sanctuary."
Gazelle: Well, I must say, it's isolated enough to keep you from danger.
Hai Hoi: Well, this is my Temple. It's so well-hidden in the ground, even the Yetis have trouble navigating down here.
Merlin: I can tell. Caves are an easy place to hide in.
Hai Hoi: Especially one where melting ice leak down and commonly cause floods. Fortunately, thanks to my biology, it's not a problem for me. As for my students, well.... Chi has helped them defelupt ways even the wisest of masters still struggle to understand.
Icky: "(Sarcasticly) Ya mean like them getting the ability to breath underwater?"
Hai Hoi: "(Laughs), I understand the snark, but trust me. Things like that are starter level compaired to even greater secrets chi can teach you if you are wise with it.
Kowalski:... Honest question concerning logic..... How does ice and snow melt, IN THE HIMALAYAS?!?
Iago: "Well yeah! Next to the Arctic Circle, the Himalayas isn't what I call the heat capital of the world! How DOES that work?!"
Hai Hoi: This place has a slight amount of volcanic formations that have a hand in it. Not to mention hot geysers that some of my students used for hygeinic purposes. Sometimes the heat can spread and cause floods. I recently had one a week ago, so that's why this temple is quite submerged.
Skipper: We have spells for aquatic respiration.
Merlin: Indeed. And we've improved on it since I came in. Magic from an alternate UUniverses worked on the disadvantages.
Hai Hoi: As in the 48-hour side-effects caused by the diving reflex?
Merlin: Indeed.
Pang Bing: Ugh, I always found that annoying! People look like they were in ecstasy when they came out. It's creepy and weird.
Merlin: Not anymore though.
Hai Hoi: Now, then, let us enter, and we can discuss your wishes of Pang finding enlightenment.
They did such, as outside the waterfall, the Whip Master and the other yetis were already outside, waiting for their move.
Inside Hai Hoi's temple.
Hai Hoi: "Now, when I was observing you all, I also had with me several members of the elder council of this temple."
Icky: "Yeah, here's a total plothole. How come neither you or those CLEARLY powerful chi masters helped us out?!"
Hai Hoi: "Well, firstly, it wasn't our battle. Secondly, the elders left for the temple to prepare their trial of judgement."
Deadpool: "(Mimicing her voice) It was also the fault of bad writing!"
Deadpool suddenly got hit in the head with a Chi Arrow!
Deadpool: "..... Thank goodness my regenitive powers made me indestructable."
Lord Shen: "(Quietly) To our displeasure."
???: "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!"
A Viper slithered in with a chi bow.
The Viper: "I was aiming for the target the ape-being was walking in front of."
Such a thing was seen.
Nick: "..... Oh, nice, way to walk us through a firing range, miss."
Judy: "(Shoves Nick) (Quietly) Shush!"
Hai Hoi: "Please pardon Jiang Ju Jian. She's.... A free spirit who wishes to train her way and not in where she was suppose to."
Jiang: "My most humblest apologies, heroes. Your legacy is well known here."
Po: "It is? How so?"
Jiang: "Well, this place is usually a history sprite temple, before they allowed us to move in to be safe from any that have no respect to us."
Iago: "Oh boy. If Icky hadn't long made peace with the History Sprites, this would be the WORSE place for him to be now."
Icky: "That doesn't mean I ain't still cautious about dealing with them! I have to actively google the difference between them and actual fairies, along with pixies for good measure and anything, fairfolk based! I do NOT wish to further damnate myself in the mythical community thank you very much!"
Hai Hoi: "Don't worry. These History Sprites are not so, aggressive, as their fellow sprite folk of the world Berk. They won't be so quick to, criticise and mock your downfalls and blunders. (Icky gets bombarded by paint!)..... Barring a, mischiefious few, who mainly do it for their own amusement."
Mischiefious History Spirtes are seen laughing!
Icky: "..... Hey, better them doing it for laughs then because of my big beak."
???: "BONSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI?!"
Banzai: "Yes? (Sees a trio of dilequint Chi Students riding down a sacred looking battle sheild heading torwords the heroes as Banzai, Icky, Iago, Fidget, Deadpool, Squidward, Spongebob, and Mr. Krabs screamed! The heroes dodged as the dilequints crashed into the wall! The goofballs laughed as if nothing happened!)"
The trio, A male Viper, A Mantis, and a Buffalo nearing Temutai's size.
Male Viper: "DUDES! THAT WAS TOTALLY RAD?!"
Teen Mantis: "Like how you discribed it, Mafan Zhizuo Zhe!"
Buffalo: "Crash, funny."
Jiang: "MAFAN?! Pi Pi Zhi! Cubao! Lady Yange expects BETTER from you!"
Mafan: "Awwwww, relax, sis! We were only having fun!"
Teen Mantis (Pi Pi Zhi): "Yeah, and making a WILD enterence for the heroes of, everything!"
Crane: "Well, I hate to crush enfusiastic learners, but...... YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN YOURSELFS AND/OR SOME OF OUR MEMBERS KILLED?!"
Icky: "Yeah, there was, NO NEED, TO GO JACKASS ON US!"
???: "Not to mention, that you ruined a good sheild."
A silluetted figure was seen, as a good bodied female horse mare (Non-Equestian) enters the area with scorn in her eye.
Cubao: "Uh oh.... Lady Yange."
Lady Yange (Horse Mare): "That's Feichang Yange to you, Master Cubao! And by the way, stand up straight! (Cubao does that!) And Master Zhi! Don't slouth! (He obeys) And you, Mafan. For reckless mistreatment of sacred chi items, 200 SIDEWINDER MOMENTS IN PLACE?!"
Mafan: "Aw come one, Lady Yange, I already did that last wee- (Yange's ruler turns into a whip) YIPE?! (Starts doing the sidewinder slither in place) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10-"
Duke: "Yeeeeesh. And I thought boot camp was rough."
Monkey: "Guess Shifu got detrowned as the most strictist master in the Kung Fu/Chi Business."
Deadpool: "Wooow, do you need to get laid or what, lady?"
Lady Yange gave a stare, a cold, strict, unforgiving stare that even sends chills to the bravest, the stupidest, and the strongest! Even Gazelle was stepping back away from Lady Yange.
Lady Yange: "...... You people have to be the most undisplened, unorganised, mishandled, overly-hyped, misrepresented, over-glorifived, unprofessional, among many, many, MANY ISSUES, bunch of, "Heroes", I have ever wasted my sight on!"
Icky: "(Quietly) Well fuck you too, lady."
Lady Yange: "WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Icky: "Uhh.... I said...... Veil Tuck U Boo, Vlady!"
Awkword drum sound.
Lady Yange: ".... I don't appresiate gibberish in my preasence."
Hai Hoi: "Yange, try not to over-excert yourself onto the students. You can't expect Mafan and the others to grow well if you show nothing but firmness."
Lady Yange: "I assure you, Hai Hoi, as your very first student, I know what I am doing. Boys! I want you three to return the sheild back to where it was, at once!"
The trio scrambled to get the sheild up and start pushing it back to where they came from!
Lady Yange: "..... I bid you all, good day."
Lady Yange turns and leaves.
Deadpool: "...... Wow. She gave the kind of stare even Thanos would shit his pants from."
Gazelle: "She gave a very dominating preasence. Even I submited from making any attempts to call her out like an alpha to an omega."
Zhan: "Indeed, Yange is not a mare to be triffled with. Even by herself, she defeated an entire army of invading elephant hoards from africa and sent them all back, in the humiliating condition of them crying about it."
Jiang: "Look, I, am very sorry about my brother and his immature friends. They think Chi is the perfect excuse to mess with people!"
Pinkie: "Well that's like using magic to take an entire town's cutie marks for a tecnecally not nessersarly truely communistic goal for a ill-translated form of equility- (Gets smacked by Starlight) OWIE?! Sorry, I was being Filli Vanilli bad, was I?"
Starlight: Yes. Yes you were.
Jiang: "Well it's just that, brother has a terriable tendingcy to not understand the gift he's capable off. I worry he and his dumb friends would go down the wrong path if he keeps his immature ways."
Icky: "Well no s*** they got paired with the super-nanny verson of Mr. Ed as a chick! That was one bossy bitch! She even puts Miss Finster from Recess to utter shame!"
Jiang: "That's not nessersarly the case. She was the only one to accept and put up with their antics. Alot of other masters here have lost their patence, if not their sanity, dealing with their reckless stupidity! Lady Yange has turned the worse students into proper chi masters with her methods, harsh as they seem, but, they do work. I mean, you know she has an undisputable athority if even the Uniter bowed to her."
Hai Hoi: And like she said, she's my first student here. Though she speaks for me, she does it in her own fair but firm way.
Duke: "Yeah, and Gazelle stared down the face of some really nasty characters! Even that of a pocessed Sun!"
Hai Hoi: "I believe that we are being too distracted. Jiang, your free to check up on your brother.... And to make sure he doesn't try any more mischief. (Jiang bowed and slithered off). The rest of you, I believe we are being late."
???: "Oh come on now, Hai Hoi. (An aged rat came forth with monk attire) The elders are not ones for impathence. Your free to take the time that is nessersary."
Hai Hoi: "Ahh yes, my dear old friend, Zang Shu. One of my most trusted elders."
Zang Shu: "Alchourse, Hai Hoi, my old friend. The other elders look forword to meet with Pang Bing, even dispite their, critques, for being, abit too quick to embrace her."
Hai Hoi: "Perhaps it is too soon, but in light of Lu Kai's threats, things will have to move quickly. Are you coming to the judgement trials, Zang?"
Zang Shu: "I apologies, old friend, but I have errends to run. But I will join up soon enough, don't you worry."
Zang Shu left.
Deadpool stares at Zang Shu with a distrusting stink eye.
Deadpool: "..... Okay, I'm not the only one who knows that Zang Shu is chinese for "Dirty Rat", right?"
Po:... So, you don't know that China had an algae-based cuisine, yet you know of our language?
Deadpool: I'm a mercenary! Duh! Do you HONESTLY think I haven't been in a Chinese setting before? Before I had cancer and these powers, I used to make ninjas cry and shame their ancestry. You don't need fancy powers to shame ninjas. I just don't stay in China long enough to know much on their cuisine.
Hai Hoi: "I'd be offended by the speciesism of your comment, if I didn't understand the concern. But I assure you, Zang may have had, an unfortunate past, but I had made sure he is reformed of his dark ways."
Deadpool: "(Quietly) Famous last words. (Openly) I'm just saying you should be cautious in trusting that guy too easily. The guy in some way could still be true to his name sake. I mean, wasn't there rat thieves that caused a famine in the Valley of Peace once?"
Hai Hoi: If you speak of the Lao Shu, then he's not related, nor had any run-ins with them. (Before Po could speak) AND he's of no relation to Master Rat either. He's a person who is nevertheless free of an independent thieving life. Leave it at that. I respect your concerns, but I have to politely correct them by insisting that Zang has never done anything un-trustworthy since then. He is among my most well-respected elders, and has nothing to gain from deceitfulness and treachery anymore. Now, follow me to the elder council.
The group leaves as Zang Shu was looking at them secretly, with him giving a quiet wicked chuckle.
Outside the Temple enterence.
Zang Shu arrived on the outside, and was quickly met with the Whip Master Yeti and the Yetis he's with.
Zang Shu: "...... Hello, Ku Whip. I'm glad to know Lu Kai has finally desided to honor my agreement with him about the Temple's, new position of power."
Ku Whip: "He had always honored it. He was only trying to figure out your vagued directions. I guess I can, kinda understand them now, since we followed them here."
Zang Shu: "Details mean little to me. The fact of the matter is, Lu Kai has finally honored the agreement. Now, here's the plan, while I attend Pang Bing's judgement ceramony, you bunch will sneak in to the temple's less guarded backdoor. And once there, you are to only strike when the judgment trial is done, and Hai Hoi has completely exposed herself. Not too soon, not too late. By then, the other masters would be completely exhausted, so apart from the Lodgers, there be little resistence."
Ku Whip: "Piece'o cake, Zang. Who'da thought Hai Hoi's ill-fated compassion for a survivor of the destroyed city of criminals would backfire on her?"
Zang Shu: "Indeed, espeically if it was chi masters that were respondsable for my blight. Her kindess does not replace the fact, that my family and friends were taken from me by chi masters. Now, it's only fair to take everything from Hai Hoi, by redusing her to become a battery for, whatever science project Lu is after. Remember the orders, and I cannot stress enough, be sure NOT to be seen, by anyone! Not even someone as increditable as those dilequants Mafan and his duo of idiot friends! That would risk concern from someone who IS creditable! Understood?!"
Ku Whip: "It'll be like we're never here."
Zang Shu smiled sinisterly.
Zang Shu: "Gooood."
Zang Shu leaves as things fade, leaving his eyes that glowed green.
Mafan's location.
Lady Yange was standing there, watching Mafan, Zhu, and Cubao struggle with the sheild.
Jiang slithered in.
Mafan: "Miss Yange, could you help with this?"
Lady Yange sighed.
Lady Yange: "First off, it would defeat the purpose of you three learning from your own mistakes. Secondly.... You didn't even said please."
Jiang arrived.
Jiang: "Okay, can you PLEASE help them out? They meant well, Lady Yange, they only wanted to make, well, THEIR idea of a good impression."
Lady Yange sighed abit, but then gave a small smile.
Lady Yange: "Very well, Miss Jiang, for my best student, but only because it inspired me to offer a free lession in quick sheild placement management. Boys? (Mafan, Zhu, and Cubao paniced and hold the sheild still)."
Lady Yange brought out her elegant fans, who at first ran back down the hallway, but then took a quick turn, then charging down the hall, then proceeded to jump mid-run, curl-up into a ball and flipped in astronomical speeds as she glowed in chi! The trio flinched in fear, as in slow motion, Lady Yange quickly got out of her ball and airal bucked the sheild back in place!
The force of the buck sent Lady Yange flying off, backwords flip, and pull a successful landing while back-flipping up and pose dramaticly with her fans!
The trio then proceeded to faint.
Lady Yange gave a small laugh and placed her chi fans away.
Lady Yange: "This, is why you boys need disapleane. Now.... You three are dismissed."
Lady Yange left.
Mafan: "..... (As Jiang silthered torwords him and friends.)........ Why, must you provoke Yange to go to extremes like that? She's the same horse that made Afriacan Elephants cry! You could've been sent half-way to the barbarian lands of europe by now!"
Pi Pi Zhu: "Not cool, Jiang!"
Cubao: "Yange, scary."
Jiang: "Hey come on boys! She and I want the same thing. For you three to be proper chi masters and not, more Kais."
Cubao: "Who Kai again?"
Mafan: "Yeah, we snoosed on the history lesson because it, SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED?!"
The trio laughed!
Jiang: "Ugggh, this is serious! Though Kai isn't the first Chi Parasite, he was the most infamous! Yange and I only wish to keep you guys from ending up like him! And to me personally, you espeically, Mafan. Your my brother, and your all I have left. I promised to mom and dad I take care of you."
Mafan: "Jiang, I'm pretty much a near-god with chi now, I can do whatever I want now! I can totally waste that Lord Khan guy for what he did to our village! I can make those Mongolian Bullies cry for their mommies! Isn't that why Hai Hoi picked us?"
Jiang: No! A master does not choose people to train in Chi for petty revenge. That is a shameful and reckless use of Chi. She chose you so you can overcome your weakneses with Chi. You know the rules. Anyone who is only doing this for revenge are not worthy of teachings.
Cubao: Rules stupid!
Pi Pi Zhu: "Exactly! We only agreed to this to make Lord Khan pay for the shit he pulled on us. And, well, maybe to make ourselves look badass, but that's besides the point."
Jiang: Guys, don't get me wrong, Lord Khan hurted me and Mafan's family badly too. I would love nothing more then to get justice. But I respect that our masters want us to rise above our wrong doers. When we do get to fight Khan, that's great, but learning chi for revenge is not the honorable way. Also, saying the rules are stupid is guaranteed to get you in trouble. If Yange was still here, she'd have you kicked out in a second. The 'stupid rules' are there for a reason. To stop people like you from becoming like Kai! Revenge and avenging people are simply too similar to be made different. It's easy for tragedies like yours to judge a shameful path. Chi and Kung Fu are not to be used for just avenging loved ones, as they are meant for one thing: justice. That's the rules, and you must accept it if you wish to stay here.
Cubao: Screw-
Mafan: No! Cubao... My sister, does have abit of a point here. I've told you practically the same thing when we were first offered to come here. We realized the hard way that using powers like this for personal gain are not going to end well. And after we got here, we were this close to forgetting that. We came here to ensure that we don't end up down the slippery slope again.
Zhu:... Well, Mafan my man, I can't say your wrong for bringing that up. I heard from the history fair- eh, Sprites, that Master Monkey started out in our shoes, and like us, he got a reality check from Master Oogway. But his reality check was tame to ours. Do you recall how OURS went?
Mafan: Exactly.
Cubao: Me don't!
Mafan: (Sighs) Well, it almost got us kicked out of our one chance to make something of ourselves and almost got us sentenced to eternal servitude to someone abusive. Do you REALLY want us to go through something like that? I'm not fond of the standards here as much as you guys are, but if I had to choose between 'eternal servitude' and 'stupid rules', even though alittle begrudgingly, I'd pick the latter. And you guys would be wise to do so. I mean look, if we get the chance to really sock it to Khan, that'd be awesome, but.... Hai Hoi has insisted that revenge ain't the way to go, even if it's on someone who otherwise deserves it. Agreed?
Zhu: Tots.
Cubao:... (Sighs) Me too!
Jiang: Good. I'm glad you three still have some standards. Now, I want you to promise that you can do better next time.
Mafan: We will try-
Jiang: No! Not try! DO!
Mafan: Sis, we're not gonna be perfect in our approach. You're offering us an absolute promise. We'll try! Take it or leave it!
Jiang: (Sighs) Fine! Try! Now then, you must know that Hai Hoi has ordered us to watch over the Temple while Pang Bing is being judged.
Cubao: Piece o' cake!
Zhu: That's what you said last week when the flood occurred. You said it was easy to keep the water from overflowing. SWISH!
Jiang: Just prepare yourselves! It's the least you guys can do after the awkword impressions you gave.
Mafan: "Okay, okay, sis! You have my word that no trouble-maker's gonna cause any kind of trouble. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick an arrow in my eye!"
Zhu: "You seriously said that last bit to a snake with skills in chi archery?"
Mafan: "Oh relax, Pi Pi Zhu, it's an expression!"
Zhu: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Sorry for the misunderstanding yo!
Mafan: Damn right ha-ha-ha! Now let's just go! This place isn't gonna defend itself. (They head out)
Judgment Room
All the elders, including Zang Shu, arrived and took their sits.
Pang Bing was nervious, but Gazelle encouraged her to move forword.
Pang Bing:... Alright! I'm ready for this. I do not wish to let myself be used for anyone else's gain ever again.
Hai Hoi: Ah, but that's not the only point here. You see, Mothlock has done MORE than just make you his slave. He's been turning you into something more than what the Mother Orb made you.
Pang Bing:... What do you mean?
Hai Hoi: It means he made contingency plans in case you should ever be freed. He made it abundantly clear that he's ensure that ANYONE who set you free would pay dearly for every second they spent doing it.
Pang Bing:... All of his magic was undone, what are you talking about?
Elder #1: Mothrons are beyond that logic now. They and the Lightflies thought up every possibility in magic strategy because they've fought for as long as time has turned. Why do you think they knew what every Mothron enemy you faced so far could be defeated with? There's nothing new to either of them at this point. I assure you, Mothlock was among the worst of war criminals for a reason, because he ALWAYS had a plan.
Pang Bing:... So... Okay. What exactly did he reap on me?
Elder #2: Well, for starters, what you've been displaying since you were cured. Anything resembling weakness. Clumsiness, making the situation worse, even the fear that would no doubt make youu repeat history. We all know that fear leads to hate, and Yoda quote, yadda-yadda-yadda! That fear is precisely the first step that will make you fall down the slippery slope again. You must overcome this fear before it serves it's purpose.
Pang Bing: How? How did he-
Elder #1: Mothrons are experts at mental magic, like you may've been told. Mothlock erased your memories of the good nature of your past, what makes you think he couldn't make you turn evil again all by yourself?
Pang Bing: Uh, all this is no doubt making me more scared, by your logic.
Hai Hoi: It is not something to be scared of. It's something to be embraced. If you give in to your fears and show that they can't get to you, then it cannot fulfill it's purpose, and you will be the same person you were again. And we're gonna help with that. We are going to do a ritual that'll cure away anything Mothlock left behind. Keep in mind your naterol darkness will still be present, but it will lose any power from Mothlock's magic.
Pang Bing: "Oh, alchourse, I understand this completely and- (Pang Bing suddenly gets a mingrain and screams?!) NOT, YOU AGAIN?!"
Elder 3: "I, have a feeling that her dark side has sentience and didn't liked what it heard."
Pang Bing suddenly got glowing red eyes!
Icky: "Oh now we're gonna get some processed deep-voiced girl shit over here!"
Deadpool: "It's The Exorcist! If your gonna reference famous classic movies, do the film justice!"
Icky: "Hey my lines can't ALL be winners!"
Pang Bing spun her head around look owl-sytile while her body was still facing the elders!
Icky: "JESUS?!"
Deadpool: "CHRIST!?"
Sparx fainted!
Pinkie: "Owchie Ka-pooey, that has to hurt!"
Rarity: ".... Pinkie, your ignorence to dangerious situations astonds me sometimes."
Iago: "Yep, DIFFENTLY went the route of the Exorcist."
Pang Bing: "(Dark Voice): "OH WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU MISERABLE IDIOTS?!"
Patrick: "Hey that's not very nice?!"
Squidward: "SHE'S POCESSED, YOU IDIOT?!"
Pang Bing: "(Dark Voice) What was your first clue, sherlock celfelpod, master detective and mediore clarenet player!"
Squidward: "...... Mediocore?"
Pang Bing: "(Dark Voice) You pretentious insignifient waste of evolution's otherwise successful spieces! Your music would not even apease a deaf god, let alone the decrying socity you called home?! (Pang Bing migrained as the head went back to normal) GAHHH?! Oh no?! It's gotten stornger! Black Bing is getting worse?!"
Deadpool: "Ohhhh, it's like a play on Black Cat, cause your a cat-"
Black Bing repocessed Pang Bing and casted a magic engery claw to appear and sliced at Deadpool, causing him to cartoonishly fall to pieces!
Deadpool: "..... I'm kinda confused whether to mark this as because you were annoyed at me, or because you got pocessed again."
Pang Bing: "(Dark Voice) Mark it as both, you abominable mistake and waste of a millaterry science project?!"
Twilight: "We have to help Pang Bing restrain that thing?!"
Pang Bing: "(Dark Voice) And how do you plan on doing that, fools?! It's not like you process powers that enable you to enter minds?!"
Icky: ".... Hey, Tigress, remember that episode in Legends of Awesomeness when you and Po dealt with that evil Telconitic Ghost guy?"
Po: You mean Master Ding?
Icky: Yeah, that! God, that was a good episode with you and Tigress. You two beat this guy on your own. Didn't help that Tigress was jealous of you because you kept kicking her ass-
Pang Bing: (In Dark Voice) DO NOT IGNORE ME! (She attacked as they dodged)
Tigress: WHY DO WE ALWAYS DO THAT- (They were blasted)
Pang Bing: (Dark Voice) I will not let you destroy me! I am the best of what Pang and magic can become!
Fidget: More like the darkest-
Pang Bing: (Dark Voice, in Fidget's face) YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!
Po: (They fought against her)... Guys, aren't you helping?
Zang Shu: Well, this is her test. We wish to see how she plays out in this.
Hai Hoi: But isn't this attack on more than the- (Pang Bing attacked them) AAHHH!!
Zang Shu: Oh, crap, you're right!
Deadpool: OH, COME ON, THAT WAS ON PURPOSE!!!
Hai Hoi: Don't be ridiculous! He's always had faulty thinking.
Deadpool:... (Sighs)
Pang Bing: (In Dark Voice, cackles) Sorry, but there's no Concentrating Balls to get you in here, NOR is your magic strong enough. Mothlock made this mind impenetrable to even Merlin. He knew of his strength all too well from the start of the Second Cartoonian War, and has already long since surpassed it.
Mayfly:... But do remember, that we Lightrossian who trained under Lightflies and defelupted enough of their magic, are the only ones who could be of even-match to Mothrons. I will send them there for them!
Pang Bing:... (In Dark Voice) Clever bug. Very well. Enter OUR mind. But know that, when you enter, you'll already be dead.
Mayfly: We shall see! (She transfers them into her mind)
Pang's Subconscious
Po:... (They entered her mind, as it appeared in a dark image of a dark land fraught with storms, monsters, and anything ominous)... Seems more ooky-spooky than Ding's place.
Tigress: Yeah, even I'm a little uneasy.
???: Welcome to my turf, heroes! And this is no ordinary 'ooky-spooky' place. This, is OUR, destiny. This, is what Pang's true destiny is. A world where magic is respected. Embraced. Unopposed. Unfeared. It's what the Mother Orb wanted with our land.
Tigress: I doubt that.
(Black Bing): Are you sure? (They see view portals of all the inhabitants in the subconscious worshipping magic, using it for good, and the monsters inside were being sent to scare those who opposed and feared it, as well as any and all situations to keep it that way)...
Icky:... Okay, in a way, it is kind of an improvment.
(Black Bing): Exactly. Deny it all you want, but THIS is what magic can be if it is embraced the way it SHOULD. The only reason it's as dark as it is, is because it never came that way for thousands of years. Prejudice is the ultimate enemy of this world, and anything that it sees AS a prejudicial threat, LIKE YOU ALL, is the only thing it will attack.
Shifu: Your mistake is assuming they're going to be that way entirely. Our first attempt, will be convincing them otherwise.
(Black Bing): (Cackles) And YOUR mistake is assuming they'll give you a chance. Much like the people who oppossed magic are unreasonably difficult, so are they.
Francis: So you seriously think it's impossible for them to listen? Isn't this your sick dream of magic being respected? By that logic, they'd be easy to talk to.
(Black Bing): I am one of those who knows that 'impossible' is only the most excessive term for skill and power in the dictionary. I prefer the term 'unstoppable'.
Francis: That kinda sounds like the second most excessive term for it, and a way for villains like you to cheat out of the 'nothing is impossible' fact.
(Black Bing): (Sighs) You know what I mean! If you wish to find me, try your luck. This place is as big as the world itself, so I could be literally ANYWHERE!
Po: Dude, Tigress and I know what a subconscious is like since defeating Ding. It's basically how we like it to appear. THIS is clearly how YOU molded her mind. What does it look like when SHE molds it?
(Black Bing): Like-
Po: Now, hold on, black cat! You might've misheard me. Not when she has you around, not some arbitrary percentage of what her dark intentions were. How, would she, picture, this world, in, her, mind?
Crane: Po, she's not gonna answer that. All villains are always gonna say it their way.
Po:... PFFT, DUH! Why am I even asking you? You're just Pang's dark side reaped on by Mothlock. We just need to find the pure Pang in this subconscious.
(Black Bing): Oh, I already had HER taken care of. (She was seen in the dream from before where Pang was defeated by Black Bing)... So, don't expect to find her so easily. (Cackles) Good luck searching.
Merlin:... Sly cat.
Melman: Wh-wh-wh-wh-what're we gonna do?
Gloria: Come on, we're the Lodgers, right? We're tough! We're griddy!
Marty: Yeah!
Gloria: We are adaptable!
SpongeBob/Patrick: Hell yeah!
Gloria: And we are NOT gonna skulk around like a BUNCH OF MELMANS!
Melman: No we're not!... Oh, I, Gloria!
Gloria: Hey, it's a hard truth, honey, live with it. Point is, we can do this. All we gotta do is convince the inhabitants of this place where she is, and we're home free.
Shenzi:... You sure she was right about them being hard to convince?
Shifu: Nothing is completely unreasonable. It can still be done, no matter what sick world we live in.
Black Bing's voice: "Just as I thought. Your not bowing to my reasoning. Very well.... THEN BOW TO THE FORCE OF MAGIC?!"
Nightmare Engery began to rose and turn into the Lougers and Friends most personal enemies?!
Doodlebob: "(Speaking gibberish!)"
Squillum: "(Nasallu laughs!)"
Plankton in a giant robot: "VICTORY IS MIND?!"
Scar: "WORTHLESS MUTTS?!"
Foosa snarl.
Foosa: "Foosa hungry! Foosa eat!"
DuBois: ".... The lion."
Shere Khan: "No one messes with Shere Khan."
Tai Lung snarled.
Kai was swinging the blades around!
Jafar: "IAGO?!"
Kung Pow: "MISERABLE NEFPEW?!"
Jerky: "STUPID IDIOTIC NAKED MENACE?!"
Dr. Blowhole: "So, Pen-Gu-Ins, we meet once again!"
Prince John: "HISS?! YOU EEL IS SNAKES CLOTHING?!"
Malefore, Gaul, and Darkness Qui all appeared.
Mack Salmon appeared.
Gasper Le Gecko was riding on top of the fire breathing monkey!
Ratigan was seen feral!
The Queen of Hearts was steamed!
Galaxhar was laughing maniacly!
Alameta Slim was seen laughing!
A Wolf in Poucher Clouthing with a shirt that reads "I abuse Bats" was seen howling!
Tzekel Kan was seen laughing as the Stone Jaguar emerged!
Ruber was laughing as he rode in on his Griffin!
Devimon, Etemon, and Mysteromon appeared.
The Hydra came forth roaring!
Cobra was laughing maniacly!
The Sherruff came form with a sword!
Sykes and his dogs were seen.
Gaston came forth with his gun.
Mim as a dragon rose from the ground!
The One-Eyes marched forth!
Hades appeared, filled with rage.
The Horned King appeared.
Merlock appeared.
The Shrek Enemies appeared.
Kazar appeared.
Latifier appeared, riding on an Ursa Major, who roared!
Dr. Hamstermeal and every single alien criminal came forth!
Fu-Xi's enemies came forth!
The Unreformed MLP Villains came forth.
Pitch Black and Cold Heart appeared.
Deadpool: "Ohh! Ohh! What do I get?!"
Stomps are heard.
Overlord Strangle emerged from the shadows, looking with great hate at Deadpool.
Deadpool: "..... Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Yeah! I can feel the nostaglia goggles already tighting! I smell an Androw WK song!"
Ready to Die - Andrew W.K
Icky: "Well! Here we go again with the villain marthon, folks! Even when we tecnecally already did it at the start of the 4-parter!"
As the music plays, the Villains charged!
Deadpool: (Did the victory screech as they beat them for the entire song time the same way they did before)
(Black Bing): (As they moved on)... (Sighs) Why do I even bother? Pfft, what am I saying? This is my subconscious. I can do what I want in it.
???: NO, YOU WON'T!!!
(Black Bing):... WHAT?!? HOW DID YOU ESCAPE?!?
Reality
Mayfly: (As Pang was struggling with teary eyes) Alright, Pang! Can you hear me? Did you access your mind?
Pang:... Yes! I can see her! My evil side!
Mayfly: Good! Now, you need to help the heroes get to your location. That evil side is not going to let you guys win that easily, and will stop you every chance she gets. The only way to aid them, is to fight her off.
Pang: I COULDN'T EVEN BEAT HER IN MY SLEEP!!! HOW CAN I-
Mayfly: Just try! You can do it! Conquering her in every way is all you need to become strong enough to become an Equinox Master and forever be immune to corruption.
Pang: I... I don't know...
Mayfly: You want to be a hero again, don't you?
Pang: YES!
Mayfly: Then believe in yourself! The last time you fought, you had little confidance. I could see it in your beating heart. When you confront your dark self, your heart rate increases, which means you're scared. Don't let it know it can do that, and do what must be done. Confront it. Show it that you won't be it's puppet.
Pang Bing:...
Pang's Subconscious
Black Bing: TAKE THIS, INFERIOR SCUM!!! (She attacked, but Pang blocked it off, charging up into Hero's Spiritual Spell form, and tore off her arm) SON OF A, MOTHER, AAAHHH!!! (She grew it back)... YOU LITTLE ANIMAL!!!
Pang Bing: YOU'RE THE ANIMAL HERE! AND IT'S TIME TO PUT IT DOWN!!! (They both fought)
Meanwhile...
Po:... How the heck are we supposed to navigate in this place?
Flashes of Light were seen....
Icky: "..... Does anyone have a save bet Pang Bing's litteraly fighting with her self?"
Viper: "But probuly to only the best of her ability. We need to have her dream form."
Deadpool: "Well, if I was Pang Bing's evil side, where would I put a dream side?"
Pinkie: "Maybe she placed it in that scary place that looks like the Magic City ruins?"
That was seen.
Icky: "..... Well that's not so bad."
Suddenly, it gets surrounded by the memory manifestations taking form as the Shen Dragons.
Icky: "AW NOT THOSE DAMN THINGS AGAIN?!"
Lord Shen: "Well, at least we know that even in pure darkness, Pang Bing is one clever feline."
Deadpool: Yeah, for a certain animal normally banned from that s***, I can agree.
Icky: "..... Okay, to safely assume that bad Pang Bing ensured that these things won't be defeated the same way as before, anyone has any ideas how to get pass those things?"
Lord Shen: Eh, I think Pang Bing can handle it, actually.
Icky: "Ya know Shen, that is dangerious smug of you to say that, because that might not nessersarly be the case and-"
Black Bing's Hideout
Pang Bing: (The two fought hard as thunder and lightning occurred, and Pang was able to strike her so hard, she disintegrated the Shen Dragons)
Lodgers' Location
Lord Shen:... You see?
Icky: "..... I fucking hate you for the entireity of the episode."
Shifu: Well, since it's clear she can deal with this, it could make it easier for us to move on.
Merlin: Let's hope so. (They moved on as Black Bing and Pang Bing sung this as they advanced with Pang undoing everything her evil side cast no matter how far they, with changed lyrics)
The Prince of Egypt - The Plagues (with lyrics)
Black Bing: ENOUGH! (A black shockwave was unleashed by her as it spread all across the area in a similar fashion to Batman vs. Superman Doomsday's shockwave blasts)... I've had it with you! I'm not letting you get in the way of our TRUE DESTINY! (She turns into a much larger and more gruesome-looking Chinese dragon and smashes her way out and she manages to overwhelm Pang's interference this time)... I'M COMING FOR YOU HEROES!!!
Pang Bing: TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME! (She turns into her Chinese dragon form and the two fought, yet she had trouble outwitting her as Black Bing still managed to endanger the heroes by causing the environment to crumble around them)
Black Bing: You see? I've been a part of you for so long, there's no easy way you can be rid of me. You can never truly defeat who you truly are!
Pang Bing: It's MY decision, not yours!
Black Bing: I AM YOU!
Pang Bing: THAT'S MY POINT!!! (They continued fighting)
Memory Magic City.
The Group walked down the path in the city.
Twilight: "This place is so, erriely acctreate to the city ruins."
Spongebob: "Yeah. Pang gotten every detail right. Down to the core. (Picks up dirt) Even the soil feels the same."
Soil: "(Getting Pang Bing's head) Can you PLEASE put me down?"
Spongebob yelps as he drops the soil!
Patrick: "I don't like it here, Spongebob! It scares me! Look! I can't even tell the bathrooms apart!"
Two Bathroom doors are seen seperate only by unreckindisable magic symbols.
Spongebob: "No, problem Pat, just wait for someone to come out and then you know."
Gazelle: Can't you read them, Shifu?
Shifu: It looks more like an extinct dialect from magic's past. (They saw a large crocodile with a androgynous voice come out)
SpongeBob:... One more wouldn't hurt, right? (They saw more people as they were too menacing and strange to determine gender)
Patrick: I STILL CAN'T READ THE SIGN!!
Deadpool: Why not use a bush or something, stupid?
Squidward: Don't pee in Pang's head, that's disgusting!
Patrick: BUT I GOTTA GOOOOO!!!
Gazelle: Oy! (She uses the uniter and caused something to happenl)
Patrick:... Did... Did I just go pee?
Gazelle: Indeed. Teleported it outside Pang's head. Now let's not delay. We must reach-
???: PREJUDICIAL CRIMINALS!!! (Inhabitants were seen as an angry mob)...
Crocodile: No doubt they're threatening our peaceful land of magic!
Water Buffalo: Well, let's teach them a lesson! (Cracks knuckles as they charge)
Deadpool: "Aw fuck this noise! (Brings out his guns)"
The Mob stops in their tracks in a screeching halt at the sight of Deadpool's guns!
(They shouted this)
Oh Shit! (echo) sound effect
Deadpool mowed them all down with his guns!
The gun fire stops, as the mob, still standing from that, comicly falls down in unison.
Icky: "..... Aw son of a bitch, Deadpool?!"
Deadpool: "Aw, calm down! By all accounts, these guys ain't real."
Lord Shen: "But still! Those people were otherwise unarmed, or at the least had things inadaquite to a gun fight! That was still over-kill!"
Deadpool: "Aw come on, guys!"
Lord Shen: "Oh, come on" nothing! We could've still talked them down.
Deadpool: Not when that black cat up there gives us bad luck!
Gazelle: Speciesist-
Deadpool: Shut up, it wasn't meant to offensive! Besides, we've got no time to lose, so either let it slide, or let Lu Kai get more time to whatever evil s*** he's doing!
Lord Shen:... Why are you still here again?
Twilight: "Okay, to be fair, they're at best only manifistations of Pang Bing's mind! Tecnecally, Deadpool wasn't being TOO out of line. He's more or less allowed to deal with any problem in any matter he wishes."
Shifu: "Can we PLEASE move on?! We should focus on locating the Dream Form!"
Patrick: "Maybe she's at where the line is heading."
An awkword drum sound is heard as a line of mishapen magical creatures is seen heading torwords the magic city palace.
Squidward: "...... I think we're already a bad enfluence in her mind."
Gazelle: ".... I'll ask. (Approuches a magical creature) Excuse me, being of an indeterminable gender, where's the end of the line?"
The Creature points to a certain direction, as the Mickey Mouse Works-style joke seen in SpongeBob and Friends and Alice in Wonderland was seen reenacted as it originally played, as the end of the line was seen at the top of a peak.
Icky: "...... Your s******g me, right?"
Sir Hiss: "Oh dear, Pang Bing can't be able to hold off her dark side for that long! But cutting in line is not honorable!"
Deadpool: Eh, I cut in line before, both figuratively... (He sliced the guys in the line the Deadpool video game and going onto Death's ride)... And literally. You said it yourself, these are not real.
Bagheera: Does that really mean we can do what we want to these people? I'm sorry, but this is Pang's subconscious, and we do NOT wanna look like reckless idiots to her.
Deadpool: Fine then, wise cat, what do YOU suggest?
Kaa: "Well it's not like we can suddenly be befriended to some impourent folk or anything-"
???: "MAKE WAY, FOR THE IMPOURENT EMOTIONS?!"
Two Large Creatures are holding a carrage that has Pang Bings in the color of the Inside Out characters, while being lead by a fancy boss creature.
Icky: "..... What a surprise. Even Pang has her own Post-Inside Out Emotes. I mean, even WE are guilty of doing that! Granted, Inside Out's an awesome movie, but there is such a thing as too much praising! That being said, this might help us."
Gazelle: "Well it's not like we can suddenly become friends with them because we asked for it! That would make us look like creepy fans! I should know! I had my fair share! We need to earn that respect and-"
Suddenly, the carrage is ambushed by rouge magical creatures!
Fancy Creature: "(SCREAMS LIKE A BITCH?!) (COILS INTO A BALL LIKE A COWERD?!)"
The two big creatures were outnumbered!
Leader Rouge Creature: ".... Finally. Now we can finally take away the accursed emotions for ever making Pang Bing stray from her glorious path! The dark mother will be avenged! We shall not be ignored! We-"
The Leader Rouge Creature suddenly got his head blown off by Deadpool with a sniper rifle.
Deadpool: "..... I LOVE IT when I'm allowed gratutious and unkosher amount of violence."
Bagheera: DEADPOOL, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!?
Deadpool: They sound like baddies, idiot! You want gratitude from these emotions? THIS is what you get!
The Rouge Creatures literally pooped bricks and ran away like cowerds!
Joy Bing: "...... You..... You saved us."
Sadness Bing: "In a rather violent way."
Fear Bing: "OR MAYBE THEY'RE WORSE?!"
Anger Bing: "(While reading a magic book) Ohhh great, more f****** delays!"
Disgust Bing: "Ugh! Un-nessersary violence is so grouty!"
Deadpool: "Aw come on, ladies, I basicly saved your feline a-"
Gazelle punched Deadpool out of the way!
Gazelle: "What he means is, we saved you five, and, we hope our kindness would be repaid."
Anger Bing: "Ya want Autograths, you have to wait like everyone else!"
Gazelle: "We mean a more major one!"
Disgust Bing: "Tch, let me guess, you want, VIP access or something?"
Gazelle: "Close. We need help to get to the Dream Bing."
The Emotions, even the now paying attention anger, all stare in surprise....
Anger Bing: "..... May I use my curse word now?"
Icky: "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, AW I LOVE THAT LINE!!"
Sadness Bing: You kinda did already, anyway, so why not?
Joy Bing: "..... Wow...... That's, a REALLY tall order, not that we don't want to help or anything. Though, I kinda wanna ask, why do you want to see Dream Bing?"
Gazelle: "Well, this may be hard to explain, but, we're the ones who lead her to reform."
Fear Bing: "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but that's impossable?! No one but Pang Bing can access her own mind! How do we know you are what you said and are not just memory avatars that run rampent here and are respawning like rabbits?!"
Judy: "HEY!"
Sadness Bing: "Please don't take that personally, Fear always puts her foot in her mouth."
Gazelle: "Well, you see, her darkside is giving us trouble, and-"
Anger Bing: "HOLD UP! Say no more! If it's because of that piece of s*** darkside of Pang Bing, then we can fit you in our shegdule! Ya know, that "Black Bing" used to be a nobody until the giant moth made her a somebody! Any enemy of her's is a friend'o mine!"
Spongebob: "So you'll help us into the palace?"
Disgust Bing: "Totes McGoats. That Black Bing, is so last year. About time she's on her way out. Espeically over that stunt she pulled!"
Pinkie: "Ya know, I once met a Totes McGoats. He was a WEIRD pony."
Icky: "Coming from you, that means a HELUVA lot?!"
Anger Bing: "HEY! ARE WE DONE TALKING HERE?! ARE YOU GONNA HOP ABOUT OUR SWEET RIDE OR NOT?!"
Gazelle: "Oh, our apologies."
The group got in.
Fear Bing: "Ya know, logicly speaking, you all shouldn't even be able to fit here."
Icky: "Take it up with TV tropes, lady."
The Two Big Creatures walked torwords the palace.
Trixie: "Okay, so, why are these things lining up for, that palace?"
Joy Bing: "Ohh it's nothing speical, the line is for the magi-cai creatures to enter Pang Bing's magic and become stronger. It's been a recuring theme."
Gazelle: "Is that it? It kinda feels, unbalenced."
Sadness Bing: "We know. We're worried that if it doesn't get balenced out soon, the more normal Pang Bing gets stronger, so does Black Bing by extention."
Icky: "Oh trust me. Once we get Equinox Magic here, that'll no longer be an issue."
Inside the Palace.
The Magi-Cai creatures were passing through info desks torwords a beautiful stream of engery as the creatures jumped into it and become one with the stream in a very litteral sense.
The Emotion Pang Bings take the heroes in as they see this, as the info desks and permiters are run by other colored Pang Bings.
Icky: "Ohhh, I see we're also taking points from that one Teen Titans Episode...... THE GOOD SHOW, BY THE WAY, AS IN THE ORIGINAL, BEFORE TT-GO!! GOD, that was awful! (Twilight was about to speak) And before you quote yourself in that famous brony video, NO, it's not funny EVEN if it was meant to be a parody of the original show."
Twilight: Well, she DID make a good point. You see it like that, it's actually more tolerable.
Icky: Not everybody's gonna agree with you there, Twily! Leave it at that!
Disgust Bing: "Well certainly we emotes are more complex then what that movie was allowed to show. We are the prime emotions.... Those guys, are the follow-up emotions. They are for the other stuff, like commen sense, being gross, booksmarts, love, and who can forget (Sees a grey slow moving Pang Bing being the only permiter stand avaluable)...... Boredom."
Judy: "..... Oh no, it's the sloth thing all over again."
Pinkie: "I am getting ALOT of Maud vibes from her."
Joy Bing: "Aww, don't worry, Boredom is not as bad as anyone has said! She'll get us over to where you need to go faster then you can say "Joy Bing is AWESOME"! (As the group approuched Boredom Bing) Hey, Boredom Bing! How's it going?"
Boredom Bing: "...... (Sounding bored and Maud Pie-like) Could've been better......"
Judy: "(Quietly) Oh thank goodness she at least talks faster then Flash. (Openly) Hi, I know you're on break, but we here on offictal business, so could you direct us to where the dream Pang Bing is held?"
Boredom Bing: "....... You need to be granted speical permints before I could let you go that far...... That's the rules......"
Judy: "..... Then, may we, have those permits please?"
Boredom slowly brings out her labtop and slowly began to type......
Borebom Bing: "...... Names?"
Judy:... (They all looked at each other)...
Iago: Aw, fu-
30 Agonizing Minutes Later...
Judy:... And Officer Hopps, Zootopian Police Department!
Boredom Bing:... There.... Now I just need to-
Self-Attention Bing: (Pops up) HEY, BOREDOM, WANNA HEAR A JOKE?!?
Everyone: NOOOO!!
Boredom Bing:... Sure. (They all got aggravated)
Self-Attention Bing: Okay! (Shows her a picture of this)
Boredom Bing:... (She laughs monotonously)...
Judy:... What?
Kowalski: What exactly is so funny for even HER to laugh at? (Boredom Bing showed them)... (Scoffs and laughs) Ohhh, classic!
Judy: (Laughs) Yeah, very funny. Can we please just focus on the ta-
Boredom Bing: Hey, Awe Bing! (Awe Bing was seen)
Judy: OH, NO!!
Awe Bing: Yeah, Boredom? (She shows the picture to her)... (Laughs crazily) THIS IS SO AWESOME!! I GOTTA TELL IT TO SOMEONE ELSE!!
Boredom Bing: I know. Let's tell everyone. Yay. (They left)
Judy: Nooo! UH, EVERYONE, A GUY DID EXPERIMENTS THAT HE WAS AS BORED AS S***! OKAY, GREAT, WE GOT IT! PLEASE, JUST, EEERRRRRRRGGGHHH!!! (She bumps her head)
Anger Bing: Yeah, why do you think we don't have them in the big penthouse? They're as much a nuisance as Distraction Bing.
Distraction Bing: (With an iPhone singing) I got no iPhone! I got no IPho-One!
Anger Bing:... And SHE used to tear our place apart.
Joy Bing: Don't worry, everything's fine!
Iago: Says the girl who is nothing but joy and happiness. Otherwise, all you emotions would have YOUR OWN emotions, and they would have THEIR OWN emotions-
Icky: Uh, Iag-Brag? Didn't you see the HISHE of Inside Out? It's best not to think about that.
Joy Bing: I can just make you some for you-
Everyone: (They did this)
Nostalgia Critic Johnson and The Wunder Boner
Starts at 2:58-3:00
Joy Bing:...
Duke: NOT ANOTHER TEN MINUTES OF AGONY!!!
Agony Bing: Did someone say-... Say, sa-sa-say, Agon-
Everyone: SHUT UP!
Agony Bing:... (Cries wildly and runs)
Disgust Bing: "(Scoffs), Nice one guys, you made Agony Bing cry again. I'll have to fix this. (Pulls up a phone and uses it.) Hey, Stmpathy Bing? You, Soothing Bing, Motherly Bing, Wistom Bing, and Compassion Bing, need to throw Agony another feel-better party. Joy will meet you soon at 5:00 sharp, bring, lots of gifts, and tussies. Thanks girlfriend."
Gazelle: ".... Ohh dear, that poor thing. And with what Pang Bing went through, is she really that easily miserbale?"
Anger Bing: "She's actselly worse then Misery Bing, Depression Bing, EVEN EMO BING, COMPINED INTO ONE CAT WORTHY FOR A HANG IN THERE POSTER AND THE PERFECT IDEAL IMAGE ON HOW SELF-SUFFERING IS BAD?!"
Sadness Bing: Yeah, Agony is more or less unstable since Bing's tragic history.
Banzai: Why wouldn't she? Pang was one UNLUCKY kitty!
Joy Bing: (Chuckles) Good one. Besides, this will only take a few seconds.
Shenzi: Thank God, because we're in a REALLY big hurry and-
Sarcasm Bing: Oh, so it DOESN'T take few seconds.
Banzai:... So she has a sarcasm emotion, too?
Anger Bing: Balls yeah she does! And she's annoying as hell!
Joy Bing:... Anyway, let's just get ready for-
Anticipation Bing: GET READY FOR WHAT?!? (She rushed in) IS THERE DANGER AFOOT?!?
Baloo:... Are you serious?
Joy Bing: Well, a person really can't only have five prime emotions.
Petrie: She has a good point.
Gricky: Yeah, ya' dumb palooka! Get outta kindgarten and look at reality!
Anticipation Bing: Seriously, what's going on?
Joy Bing: Black Bing's about to go down, okay? I'm getting Dream Bing's friends who reformed her in the outside world and used magic to get in here and stop her evil side.
Anticipation Bing: ON IT! (She zooms off)
Icky:... Okay, if we're about done here, how about we-
Love Bing: (Came in) IS THAT GAZELLE?!? HERE?!? (Squeals and latches onto a surprised Gazelle, and started purring!)
Icky: (Dubbed as Stewie) OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
Love Bing: How did you get here? Can you sing for me? Show my your body!
Gazelle: (Sighs) I take it Love Bing is her pansexual disorder?
Joy Bing: Unfortunately, yes. Love Bing, can you please leave? They're kinda busy.
Gazelle: Exactamondo. We're on an important mission.
Love Bing: Oh sure thing, lover girl. (She left)
Icky:... I swear to Sharptooth that I am going to snap in aggravation if another-
Annoyance Bing: YOU AND ME BOTH, BIRDBRAIN, GET IN LINE!
Icky: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
10 More Agonizing Minutes Later...
Commen Sense Bing: "Okay, if we're all done with the nonense, espeically you three, (Points to three other Pang Bings) Nonsense Bing, Joke Bing, and Humor Bing. Visitors, I am terrorably sorry about the delays. Boredom Bing, finish up their permits and allow them to get on their way."
Boredom Bing: "Sure boss. I really wanna get back to my break anyway. (Starts to slowly type, but then Commen Sense Bing snathces it away)"
Commen Sense Bing: "ON THE OTHER HAND, Maybe it's best if I take it from here."
Boredon Bing: "..... That's fair." (She left)
Common Sense Bing: Sorry about that. You see, we emotions are put in caste-based order based upon Plutchik's wheel of emotions. In this Inside-Out movie, which is popular amongst us since we recorded it using our hosts' memory function, is only a SLIGHT representation of what the inside mind is like. Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear are only 5 of the 8 secondary emotions whose task is to look over the host's perception. The other 3 are Anticipation, Surprise, and Trust. The primary ones do other jobs anonymously as they're far more intense versions of the 8 primary emotional spectrums, to where even they are as highly respected as a tyrant, and they are rage, loathing, grief, amazement, terror, admiration, ecstasy, and vigilance, technically the secondary emotions' adopted mothers, fathers if the host is male, and mixed genders like in that movie are inconsistently common. The tertiary emotions like annoyance, boredom, pensiveness, distraction, apprehension, acceptance, serenity, and interest are the ones who do the second-least concern jobs, and the quaternary are so many to count and do common everyday jobs outside the HQ you might be familiar with. I'd explain more, but considering you're in a hurry, you can check that some other time, even if Inside Out decides to make itself a sequel.
Icky: Good. And I suspect that Dream Bing is Pang when she is asleep, unconscious, drunk, or anything else except dead when she's not in her body?
Common Sense Bing: Precisely. And like in this HISHE video, sometimes knowledge of a world like this can 'blow one's mind', and if there's anything the movie taught us, things like that occur literally in the movie. So, that's why people hardly remember anything they dream of when they wake up.
Iago: Eh, I guess that makes sense.
Common Sense Bing: And as for Black Bing? Well, she's a different story. You see, when Mothlock turned our host evil, she ravaged our land into what you saw when you entered. A land of which she pictures. The subconscious is like a planet, except it is much larger than even a red supergiant, yet has the same gravity as Earth, and sometimes a lack of it, and the Dream Avatar of the host is the ruler. Though she only appears when the host is not in her body, she is a ruler nonetheless. The creation of Black Bing made a duplicate and more evil variant of Bing that took over the Dream Avatar for a long time and turned what was once a magical and peaceful land into... Well... THIS!
Tigress: That's awful.
Common Sense Bing: Yes. Even the primary emotions are scared of her. We've done all we can to make this a peaceful land, but to no prevail. But now that you're here, the creation of an Equinox spell can nevertheless make the world a balanced one. When Bing was pure, it was nothing but paradise. When Bing was dark, this was the result. You create an Equinox spell, well, it becomes like a normal world. As you know, the subconscious is what you make it to be. (She finishes the permit) There you are. This will allow you to access Dream Bing's quarters. Go there and see if you can help her. And you might wanna hurry, because- (Crumbling and tremors were heard)... Because that.
Sam: Let's split, guys! (They head out)
The Stair way to the main tower.
From a window, a thunder clash intensifives as the heroes arrived in!
Deadpool: "If I was an evil shadow, I placed the one thing that can hurt me in the biggest tower!"
Sparx: NO S*** SHERLOCK!
The heroes run up and finally made it Dream Pang Bing in the room!
Dream Bing: Guys! You came just in time!
Shadow Bing appeared holding a defeated and fading Pang Bing illusion.
Black Bing: They certainly did. Too bad your distracted has met it's useage end. Now they can watch as I CRUSH your hopes apart.
Shifu: Free Pang at once!
Black Bing: Or what? If you haven't noticed, I am this world's vanguard. This subconscious is mine, it's inhabitants are mine! EVERYTHING is mine, because I am the true path to magic's dawn!
Tito: Oh, puh-lease! You think you know magic? You wouldn't know how to poor piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel!
Po: Profanity aside, he's right. All you've done is harm everything around her. You turned her into something she's not.
Black Bing: I turned her into something BETTER than what she was! Magic is underappreciated in this dirty world around her. If they will do nothing but fail to see what magic can do, then we will force the issue until they see how wrong they were.
Tigress: You don't get respect by doing bad things like that, it doesn't work that way. If anything, it makes magic even MORE hated.
Black Bing: But they see what it can do if it is treated the wrong way.
Count Razoff: Good lady, you are clearly missing the point. Magic is earned praise by using it honorably and respectfully, and not when it's abused like this. Otherwise, all your left with is bitter and angry people- (Black Bing fired a blast that freaks Razoff out) OHHH?!
Black Bing: YOU'RE the one missing the point you... You... What the hell are you?
Icky: "Try looking up the Rayman Wiki for that one, toots."
Black Bing: The who-now whaty? BAH FORGET IT?! Anyway, we TRIED doing that, and they failed to comply to it. They are dirty xenophobes who'd run away from even the brightest magic ball they see.
Tigress: Hmmph, self-racist!
Black Bing: It's not self-racism if it's true.
Crane: "The correct term is misanthrope."
Black Bing: "SAME THING, BESIDES THE POINT?!"
Tigress: MAYBE I should kick you in your monstrous-looking eye-balled face!
Black Bing: I'd like you to try it.
Monkey: You know, that IS what we're here to do, right?
Black Bing: Oh, you won't! That is, if you don't want me to kill Pang in front of you, and leave you trapped forever.
Icky: 'Wait, but since you need her to be alive as well, won't that kill you in the progress?"
Black Bing: She dies, I'll be around to take over, of course.
Merlin: Uh, no! You are just a dark duplicate of Dream Bing. So you're kinda life-linked. She dies, you die along with it. You're not fooling anyone.
Black Bing: "I-... Really?"
Merlin: Uh, YEAH! What made you think that? You'd seriously came to believe that you'll just take over by killing your life-link. You are pitifully illogical. Even Mothlock knows better then that!
Black Bing:..... THAT LYING NONSENSE BING MOTHERF****R!! What was I thinking taking advice from a known illogical lier?!
Icky: "Our critics will ask the same thing most likely."
Iago: "Ya know, this was getting so serious until logic had to get in and make her look like an idiot."
Courus: "Logic! It makes you ask more questions then you should!"
Black Bing: "....... THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
Deadpool: "Oh, just a Family Guy joke."
Black Bing: "....... UGGGGGGHHHHHHH, Okay, SERIOUSLY, what does Pang Bing SEE in you people?!"
Gazelle: "This! (Fires her Uniter Blade at Dream Bing's imprisonment and frees her, as she becomes Pang Bing.)"
Black Bing: "AW DAMN IT, I PROBABLY SHOULD'VE STOPPED THAT?!"
Gricky: YA THINK, DUM-DUM?!?
Pang Bing: "...... I, have had enough of your disobedience and defience?! I am tired of you ruining my life and parading yourself as a messiah to my warped fragments of my imagination?! MY MIND, IS NOT, YOUR, KINGDOM?!"
Black Bing: "Ohhhhh......... Is, it not too late to say, sorry?"
Silence.......
Pang Bing battle cried and bum-rushed right into Black Bing and blasted right out of the palace as the heroes watched!
Icky: "...... I, take it Pangy has it covered from here?"
Pang Bing and Black Bing began battling!
Black Bing: I'll make you go back to our proper destiny, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER?!!! (She starts to fuse with Pang Bing)
Reality
Pang Bing: (She staggers back screaming wildly)
Hai Hoi: What's happening?
Mayfly: It appears that the dark side is starting to go farther to fight for dominance. Whatever it's doing, it's starting to win.
Elder #1:... Can the heroes handle it?
Mayfly: I hope. If not, then it would take a miracle for them to help this.
Subconscious
Skipper: It's gonna take a miracle for Pang to get out of this!
Pang Bing: NO! STOP IT!
Black Bing: NO! YOU NEED ME! OBEY ME!
Pang Bing: I'M DONE TAKING ORDERS FROM YOU! YOU NO LONGER SCARE ME!
Black Bing: We'll see about THAT! (He casts darker visions of her going through every possible painful experience and causes her to tear up and stagger back in fear)... You see? I RULE THIS PLACE FOR A REASON! I am FAR BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!
Pang Bing:... You clearly underestimated me! LIKE YOU ALWAYS HAD?! (She replaces all the painful experiences with ones of which end happily, as she suddenly obtains the ability of occlumency)...
Black Bing: WHAT THE YINGLONG?!? YOU SUDDENLY LEARNED MAGIC YOU WEREN'T EVEN TAUGHT YET?! HOW?!
Icky's voice: "MAYBE IN PRACTICAL HINDSIGHT THAT IT WASN'T SO SMART FOR THOSE MAGI-CAI GUYS TO JUMP INTO THE SHORCE OF PANG BING'S MAGIC AND MAKE HER STRONG ENOUGH TO EVEN PUT STARLIGHT TO SHAME?!"
Black Bing: BLAST?! SOMETHING THAT BENIFITS ME HAS BACKFIRED ON ME?! WHAT AN EMBARRISING WAY TO LOSE?!
Pinkie's voice: "BOWSER AND KING WART WOULD AGREE WITH YOU ON THAT?!"
Black Bing: (She fails to mentally attack her again, and anything else she does fails, as Pang Bing turns into an Equinox form, and combines it with her HSS form, allowing her to reach a new level)... No!... NOOOO!!!
Twilight's voice: "WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DID SHE GET EQUINOX MAGIC SO QUICKLY?! I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TRAINING HER YET?!"
Duke's voice: "Oh, I've been meaning to tell ya, I snagged some of your Equinox Books to give Pang some tutering during the inbetween trips."
Twilight's voice: ".... WELL NO WONDER WHY MY BAG KEEPS GETTING LIGHTER?! ASK ME NEXT TIME, DUKE WEASELTON?!"
Duke's voice: "Hey what do you want, I'm still adjusting my thief hapits over here, cut me some slack!"
Nick's voice: "And hey, at least his thiefery lead to something benifital for once!"
Pang Bing: I now know how to conquer my own fears, Black Bing! Sometimes, even though the world may not accept it, there will always be possibilities to make it better. That's my new motto from now on, and the basis of this new form. The Equinox Hero's Spiritual Spell! My culmination of everything I've fought for. You are not the queen here anymore. I am!
Black Bing: (She staggered back in fear, and in reality, Pang stops quivering and then glows in white energy, taking on an angelic Equinox form)... Stay away from me! I'm, I'm, I'm still apart of you!
Pang Bing: You are just an apparition of what was never meant to be. It's time you're placed back where you belong. (She fires a blast of magical energy that not only banishes a screaming Black Bing into an unseen darker recess, but it has a ripple effect on her subconscious, as it transforms it into a good/evil world similar to the real world, with Pang Bing achieving enlightenment)
Cera:... Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!
Pang Bing:... Thank you for releasing my dream side so I can be able to take back my mind, Lodgers. Now my mind is free of any and all corruption. Mothlock no longer has control over me.
Sam: Ah, don't thank us.
Max: Just doing what we do best.
Pang Bing: "And now, it's for you all to get out of my mind and back reality. And not just because you did all you can do here, but also because.... I don't want (Angerly points to Deadpool) HIM TO FURTHER LOUSE IT UP?! Imaginations or not, THAT WAS IMPROPER OF YOU TO HURT THEM LIKE YOU DID?!"
Bagheera gave a smug smile, along side Spongebob.
Deadpool: "..... Okay, okay! Let's all call out the wacky merc with a mouth for being excessive?! I get it!"
The group flashed!
Reality.
The Heroes were back out of Pang Bing's head.
Twilight: ".... Pang Bing, you have surpassed even Celestia's expectations if she were here. Though we might still have to give you Balenceo later on and I would STILL like to introduse you to some great Equinox Masters to make you even better, heck, I like to share some tips and tricks myself, but other then that, you did great."
Zang Shu quietly left nervious in worry of a compromsied plan.
Hai Hoi: "..... Well..... I, guess we didn't really need to do much of everything since, you just handled it all by yourself. In some way, you didn't really needed to come here."
Elder 10: "Well that was pointless of you!"
Shifu: "Well, not entirely. We didn't have much experience in Mothron-based spells, and Mayfly here is still relatively new, and we hoped that you'd know a bit of it since you fought off against magic, and you were reported to have fought him and anything in between that Pang has connections to. However, yes, coming to ask you to heal Pang Bing ended up being moot, but we can still say our other need is satisfived. We would like for your aide against Lu Kai the 72nd, and stop his attempt."
Hai Hoi: "But alchourse. We'll prepare some of our best to join this crusade. You will certainly can count on our support."
Supply area.
Zang Shu gets in and slams it shut!
Zang Shu: "...... Ku Whip, if your in here, there's been some, unexpected complications! The blasted cat ended up healing herself?! She defeated her own darkness! That means the Elders didn't need to do anything and are still at full power?! You can't do the surprise attack anymore?! You fools need to retreat back to Lu Kai and warn him to prepare for an attack and-"
Zang Shu turns around and is shocked to see Mafan and his friends having defeated Ku Whip and his yeties.....
Zang Shu: "..... SERIOUSLY, KU WHIP?! HOW DID THOSE GUYS FIND YOU?!"
Ku Whip: "I, told Private Dum to cover the tracks, and he did..... WITH PAINT?!"
Zang Shu facepalms!
Mafan: "Hold on, hold on, whoa, whoa! Master Zang, you, you knew about these guys?"
Cubao: "Shocker."
Pi Pi Zhu: "THAT DIRTY RAT?!"
Mafan: "Master Zang, how, how could you? How could you betray Hai Hoi like that?"
Zang Shu: "Well maybe if you paid attention in class, then you would've knew about the destroyed city of criminals done so by chi masters?!"
Mafan: "..... Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Ya know, in hindsight, maybe it isn't that shocking you turned on us."
Zang Shu: "Well it's not like it could help you! Your the most uncrediable idiots in the temple! No one in their right mind will believe you fools. And if you try to use them, they'll deny it and say they followed of the misfits here on their own."
Ku Whip: "It helps that it's exactly what happened."
Mafan: "Wait, but it's normally difficult for even Lu Kai with all his sadistic intellect to even guess that correctly, and..... You magnifisent basturd! YOU GAVE THESE GUYS TIPS TO GET HERE?!"
Zang Shu: "And again, who's going to believe you worthless idiots? And don't count the History Sprites, by their laws, they're not allowed to interfear with us! Even if it's for a moral reason! So you twits are out of-"
Mafan and friends charged as Zang Shu lost his confidence and screamed!
BOOM?!
In the hallway, Zang Shu and the trio began fighting eachother, as Ku Whip and the yeties saw this as a chance to get out of here and for a more smarter yeti to cover their tracks properly, even the paint trail!
Zang Shu: "You will only end up looking like fools, you KNOWN TROUBLE MAKERS?! I-"
Zang Shu gets smacked into a wall by Mafan and holds him down!
Mafan: "IT'S OVER YOU DIRTY RAT?! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH-"
???: "MAFAN?!"
The trio looked to see Jiang looking shocked!
Jiang: "HOW DARE YOU ATTACK MASTER ZANG SHU?! AFTER ALL HE HAS DONE FOR US?!"
Zang Shu: "Thank goodness you arrive, miss Jiang! Your brother went crazy! I saw him tear apart our supply depot into nothing with his hooligan friends and he attacked me when I tried to calm him down!"
Cubao: "He, lies. Yeti Attack. He, knew."
Jiang: "WHAT YETIES?! ALL I SEE IS A SUPPLY ROOM IN RUINS?!"
The trio look back and saw that Ku Whip and the yeties, and both trails, are gone.
Pi Pi Zhu: "...... Ohhhh, shit. Probuly should've made sure they wouldn't've escaped, huh?"
Mafan: "(Lets go of Zang Shu) Jiang, you have to believe me, I know what I saw, I saw yeties, and, there was this one yeti with a whip, and-"
Jiang: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD LIE TO YOUR OWN SISTER, MAFAN?! AND AFTER THAT TALK WE HAD?! I...... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY HAI HOI LIKE THIS?!"
Jiang slithers off!
Zang Shu: "And, it looks like the young lady will warn everyone of "YOUR" betrayal. How coinidenal. GUARDS?!"
Chi Warriors came in!
Zang Shu: "MAFAN AND THE HOLLIGANS ATTACKED ME?! ARREST THEM!?"
The Chi warriors surround a helpless Mafan and friends.
Elder room.
Jiang: "And that's what happened, Hai Hoi! Mafan went berserk and attacked Zang for not good reason?! AND HE LIED TO ME BY SAYING THERE WAS GOING TO BE A YETI ATTACK AND ZANG SHU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT?! HE DISHONORED US?!"
Hai Hoi sighed sadly.
Hai Hoi: "And Mafan and his friends had so much potaintional."
Zang Shu arrived with the contain trio and the Chi Warriors.
Mafan: "Hai Hoi, you have to believe us, we're bing set up here! We-"
Zang Shu: No more lies! For your crimes against Hai Hoi, you are hereby banished from the temple and into the cold outsider world, for life!
Cubao: YOU MUST, BELIEVE US!
Hai Hoi: Why should we? You have good motives to do this. You told Jiang that you always think about being the best, and Zang here always refused to advance you to 'what you deserved'. He told you time and time again that you do not get what you want, and every time you mess up, he sends you to the pit. You are just so bitter at him, you couldn't take it anymore. I don't blame you three for having a sour dispition with Zang, but airing griviences through violence is not our way.
Mafan: THAT IS RIDICULOUS!!! WE HAVE MADE IT CLEAR THAT WE ARE NO LONGER THE TROUBLE-MAKERS WE USED TO BE! WE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT THAT! Surely you wouldn't forget that! Zang knows you won't believe us, so if you banish us, he wins!
Hai Hoi: I will not say anything else. It is for the temple's best interests if you leave here. If you EVER lay foot on these grounds ever again, you will be sent to Chorh-Gom Prison!
Mafan: But, but-but-but-
Yange: DO NOT QUESTION HAI HOI, MAFAN?! And just when, I actselly started to respect you! (She drags them out brutally, and throws them out into the snow)
Jiang:... (Sighs)... I thought he had changed!
Hai Hoi: So did I. Hopefully, we'll find new and more competent recruits. Dismissed. (They all left as Deadpool was watching, and growled angrily)
Later...
Gazelle:... THEY DID WHAT?!?
Deadpool: They banished Mafan, Cubao, and Zhu, accusing them of attacking Zang Shu when they said that he lead Yetis to them. I KNOW it was true.
Duke: You sure that's true? We've received NO possible evidence pointing him to any wrong-doing. As fair as we know, we may've over-reacted to the Jir-Ki fiasco and misjudged Zang for his rather unfortunate name.
Soothsayer: Indeed. He seems legitimately fine.
Deadpool:... Why is EVERYONE thinking he's not a villain? Even the wisest of people don't believe he's a villain, really? Have your wisdom expired or something?
Shifu: We have to keep in mind that Mafan and his friends are clearly known dilinquints. So perhaps Zang may've said something that pushed him too hard, and he simply cracked. Sometimes that happens between students and masters.
Deadpool: Okay, how about you IDIOTS put your thinking caps on and figure this out! Those three seemed too harmless to commit this act. Okay, they're jackasses, but they're not jackasses that charge in unprovoked, not without a reason. At least, not anything in terms of MY standerds!
Icky: "Shifu just said it's possable Zang bad-mouthed them and they went psyco."
Deadpool: "But CLEARLY they look like the kind of guys who take that in stride! Even if Zang said some shit about their mother, they looked like they would sooner walk away then pick a fight with that guy! Hai Hoi said they were flawed, but they would never do this. She told me himself. Then, she just instantly forgets about that in the trial? Either this turtle has gone crazy, or turned hypocrie, or Zang managed to set those guys up badly to the point that she assumed otherwise. And if you can't see that, then it's probably best if we don't send her on our trip to beat Lu Kai! Like the Chi-Nukis, she might not be as relieable as we hoped!"
Soothsayer:... While you make a very good point, what Hai Hoi said about them and their relationship with Zang is all too true to ignore. I'm afraid all the evidence points to them and no one else. The worse Zang would be guilty of is an uncultured behavior on his part.
Pinkie: "Deadpool, I know you feel sorry for those three, considering what your life usually is like, but, maybe it's possable that those three really were a bunch of big meanies and that Zang may've only been guilty of pushing them too hard. I mean, I can agree that Zang is ultamately the wrong one here, but, Mafan and friends were the ones who reacted meanly. We have clearly seen how those guys acted, so, it, might not be that surprising to see them like that. Maybe, it's best not to get too invested in their politics, and, just leave it alone."
Deadpool:... Fine! I can't believe how selfish you all are! Okay, first off, being the unreasonable idiot is suppose to be MY SHTICK?! You guys are suppose to be the honorable hero group that stands up for the little guy?!
Icky: "And look, we do! But, it's like with Adrian! Do we agree that Hai Hoi took a one-80 on how she views those three? Yes! But thing is, even if Zang Shu was the biggest doughebag in the universes, those three are still guilty of attacking the guy themselves! A classic exsample on why you shouldn't feed trolls.
Sandy: "Look, I know what it feels like not being able to save everyone, and it's great to hear you have concern for something OTHER then money, women, and sick thrills, but, like how Adrian was legitamently guilty of doing another wrong, so were they. Two wrongs don't make a right. While I won't hold back calling out Zang for whatever he said to them, I won't bring myself to say that I advacate their own bad behavior! As far as we can tell, they were just a capable of bad eggs."
Deadpool: (Scoffs), Ya know, it's ironic on how you guys judge me for when I did something stupid, but yet you guys are quick to just write off three guys because they acted like dumbasses? I can't believe I gave you a present. And hell, I can't believe I thought PINKIE here was the only one here in the room to get me.
Pinkie: "Wait, Deadpool, I do get you! It's just, to be fair, we don't really know Mafan and those other two so well enough to have a better perspective. I mean, what if your over-reacting and they were just meanie-bo-beanies and that you were wrong to judge Zang! Oh this so painfully out of context!"
Deadpool: Feels perfectly within context to me, Pinks! You had the kindness to not judge me, and yet, you judge three guys you said ya didn't know! Well not really knowing people, goes two ways! There can be more to them then expected! I thought you were the most awesomest forth-wall breaker I ever met in a non-canon crossover from the internet, Pikie! Well, I guess I was wrong. If you're not with me, then perhaps we can't be friends anymore.
Pinkie: (She was hurt by those words as her mane deflated)...
Deadpool: So, do what you want, but I'm going to confront Zang Shu, and keep him as long as I have to until he tells the truth. If you all are the heroes you're supposed to be, you'll join me! Until then... (Gives them the finger in both hands) Go f*** yourselves! (He left)
Twilight:... I, I can't believe this?!
Merlin: (As Pinkie was crying and going insane in the same fashion as when Sandy accidentally caused SpongeBob to get briefly fired) I know Deadpool is an uncultured lout, but this?
Soothsayer: There is still no evidence to such. Clearly Deadpool is too lost in his insane accusations to see that.
Lord Shen: Everyone, enough! Zang is just getting into our heads. There is no way he could be causing all this. All we can do is get ready to stop Lu Kai with Hai Hoi, and then-
Icky: "HOLD UP! Don't ya think we might wanna stop him from doing something REALLY stupid first?"
Lord Shen: "..... BY THE HEAVENS, YOU ARE RIGHT?!"
Later...
Zang Shu: And they didn't even suspect a THING about me! Not even the Lodgers suspect a thing. I can't believe Lu Kai was so worried
Deadpool came from nowhere and body-slammed Zang Shu!
Deadpool: GOT YA, ASSHOLE?!
Meanwhile...
Mafan: (The three were shivering in the cold Himalayas)... I... I can't believe this! Hai Hoi, the wisest of them, didn't believe us?!?
Cubao: She, left us.
Zhu: After ALL we did for her? She just casts us out?
Mafan:... Guys!... We're going back!
Cubao: WHAT?!?
Zhu: But they said they'd send us to prison!
Mafan: I don't care! We're going back there and we are knocking the sense back into them! That is our home, and Zang turned even my sister against me! (As Yetis came in, causing Cubao and Zhu to panic! ) We cannot sit here and freeze to death while he gets away with this. If we get arrested doing it, then so be it. (Sees their faces) Aw what's the matta with you guys, it's not gonna be that ba- (The Yetis captured them, placing them in sacks as they muffled while they took them away)
Hai Hoi's Temple
Zang: (As he woke up tied to a chair)... WHAT?!? RELEASE ME!
Deadpool: Oh, I'll release you! (They lit up a torch)... When you tell your fellow elders the truth about your wrongdoings!
Zang: I do not know what you're talking abo-
Deadpool: (Points his katana at him) DON'T YOU BULLS*** US, YOU MORON! You are NOT fooling anyone!
Zang: You fool! Mafan's reputation is too dirty and unsavery for even someone of your shameful caliber to ever prove otherwise!
Deadpool: "..... Ya know what your stunt did to today, rathole? You devided some friends today, and that of a broken family?! I, even ended up yelling at Pinkie because of how badly you screwed over those three?!"
Zang: "And what do you intend to do about it, idiot?! None of the misfits CLEARLY believed you?!"
Deadpool sighed depressively.
Deadpool: "(Gets serious again) Then I'm dragging your ass straight to the elders and force you to fess up! That way, I'll save the day and-"
???: "AWWWWW GEEEEES, DEADPOOL?!"
The Heroes are seen, along side some of the Chi Students.
Twilight: "Deadpool, what're you doing?!"
Deadpool: "Interigating him?!"
Zang Shu: "HE ATTACKED ME OUT OF NOWHERE AND THREATEN TO TRY AND MAKE ME LOOK BAD IN MAFAN'S NAME?! It's disgraceful?!"
Hai Hoi arrived and saw the display and looked with utter shock.
Deadpool: "..... Oh great. I just pulled a Season 2 MLP:FIM finale here."
Hai Hoi looks with a clam, but clearly disappointed look at the heroes, who nerviously react accordingly.
Icky: "We uh, just want to insist that, Deady does NOT represent us, he's not even apart of the Shell Louge Squad! He's mostly just a friend in a sense, we swear?!"
Hai Hoi: "..... Consider our aide against Lu Kai, reconsidered. For now on, he's solely your problem."
Shifu: "Master Hai Hoi, please! This is clearly an ugly misunderstanding-"
Outside.
All the heroes were tossed out by the Chi Warriors!
Yange: "ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND STAY OUT?!"
The heroes laid scattered across the snow, dejected and loss of hope.
Sir Hiss: "Ohhh, dear. Now how do we hope to stand up to Lu Kai?"
Lord Shen: "..... Well, thanks to Deadpool's IDIOTCY, we have no choice but to relie on our own wits now. This cannot get worse."
Qui-Qui and Wi-Wi landed in with Peng and Lian, and a still freaked out Boss Wolf onboard!
Boss Wolf: "SIR, WE HAVE A BARAGE OF NEW PROBLEMS?!"
Lord Shen: "OH WHAT NOW?!"
Boss Wolf: "...... You, sound like you have a bad time too...... Well, it's not gonna help either way, because Lu Kai plans to build a machine powered by Pang Bing's orb mother that's alive but slowly healing trapped in a fancy staff thingy, and that maybe sending Snow Hog to stay in Mah Jong's palace may've been a stupid idea because by now, the yeties could've long attacked the place and captured him, or worse?!"
Nick: "..... Well oopsie number threesiy, we can't exactly warn Hai Hoi and those other guys about it, because thanks to Ninja Boy here accusing one of the masters being a traitor without contrect evidence over sympathising with some legit punks, now Hai Hoi has a negitive opinion on us?!"
Boss Wolf: "...... Yep, like I said, that does NOT help at all!"
Fa: "Okay, seriously, that's more then thrice we ended up losing any chance to have some advantage over Lu Kai! First, Po ended up nearly starting a war, then, the guy who knows most about Lu Kai, ends up dying because he was being a mid-life crisis doughe! 3rd, the Chi-Tanuki's ended up being fakes! And now, Hai Hoi, hates us!"
Iago: "WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO, WE GOT A BIG PROBLEM HERE, A BIG-"
Lord Shen: "OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH?!..... It's obvious that we're gonna have to relie on ourselves and the forces we CAN assemble. Lu Kang, it's time for you and Kun Lao go out of your way to gather your imperial forces and ready for a big battle, Master Tsin, it's time to get your five to help us out, Zhan, your pretty much our best help here now, and Boss Wolf, it's time for your parents to be of great help! If we must go battle Lu Kai on our own, then so be it! Base on what is known, it would've been reckless to drag Hai Hoi to this anyway! We all shall gather to Ling's oasis! (The Van arrives) It's time we take this battle by ourselves!"
The Heroes cheer as they get onto the van, all but Deadpool who's sitting down arms crossed.
Pinkie looks back.
Applejack: "It's best to leave Deadpool alone, sugercube. Let him collect his thoughts."
The final two go in as the van takes off!
Deadpool changes from his angry expression to a sad one.
Hai Hoi's temple.
Hai Hoi: "Zang, I am so sorry you had to go through quite an unfortunate event."
Zang Shu: "It wasn't anything surprising. Rats have always an unsavery reputation, even in a land that respected them enough to make them a new year zodiac. Guess such a title is meaningless to some."
Hai Hoi: "Indeed. I will go rest in my chambers. Good day, Zang."
Hai Hoi leaves.
Zang Shu began to snicker.
Zang Shu: "(Quietly) Good day to you too..... And good bye......"
Hai Hoi's chambers.
Hai Hoi was seen meditating, but suddenly, she got hit by a glowing snowball that came from nowhere, as it disables her powers, as Ku Whip, and Skun came in.
General Skun: "Now cousin, THIS, is how it is done!"
Hai Hoi looked in concern as the Yeties cornered her.
Aftermath.
The Chi Students are Warriors look in shock of the ruins.
Zang Shu: "(While hidden, he smiled. Appawn entering, he acts like he's concerned) OH NO?! Lady Hai Hoi! She's..... She's been kidnapped?! Who could've done such a thing?! Hai Hoi..... Is gone?!"
The Elders are bewildered as well.
Elder 1: "..... Then it's offitcal Zang. You will have to take over as caretaker of the temple withher gone."
Zang Shu: ".... I, don't know what to say, my good elders. I'll do this to the best of my ability. My first act is to find the culpret and, (Gasps like a ham!) What is this!? (Picks up a strain of yellow hair!) This looks like yellow hair! And judging from the color, and, (sniffs) UGH! The smell of cheap hair-care products, I believe, this, is the work of the Uniter?! The outsiders felt betrayed by Hai Hoi's wise actions and kidnapped her to surrender her to Lu Kai?!"
Elders gasped!
Zang Shu: "Then we know what we must do! All of us! We shall confront Lu Kai ourselves, wait at his very gates, and battle him head-on?! Make him and his devients all pay?!"
The Chi Residents all cheered!
Zang Shu smiles wickedly.
Chapter 5: Lu Kai's Plan Unveils and Unravels[]
Lu Kai's lair.
Hai Hoi was seen being strapped into the very chest of the machine.
Hai Hoi: "What are you doing to me, Lu Kai?!"
Lu Kai stood proudly with the yeties.
Lu Kai: "Simple. If you had refused to train me into the ways of chi, I'll control it and magic (Shows the royal spector holding the Space Orb) One way or the other!"
Hai Hoi: "I rejected you to protect you from yourself, Lu Kai! The powers are too dangerious! You'll end up destroying everything and yourself!"
Lu Kai: "Lu Kai the Terriable was always about taking risks! And that's exactly, what, I'm, going, to do! (As a hatch slowly closes up) Good night, sleep tight! Oh, and by the way..... Zang Shu will join us soon enough."
Hai Hoi: "Wait, Zang? What do you-"
The Hatch closes up as a mist puts Hai Hoi into a state of suspended animation, as her chi is absorbed and began to light up and now seen Ma-Chi titan, a headless sential primitive mech.
The Yetis help Lu Kai get onto the Mech.
Lu Kai: "(Looks onto a lever holder-like device, then proceeds to latch it in!) YES BABY!? LU KAI, IS IN BUSINESS?! (The Ma-Chi Titan lights up even more, as Lu Kai controls the Titan throw the spector, and with each motion, the Titan moves in a certain way.) (LAUGHS VICTORIOUSLY!) Gentlemen?! Let's greet some guests."
By the gates of Lu Kai's fortress.
All of Hai Hoi's followers arrive.
Zang Shu: "Let me go in that place first, my followers. I'll scout ahead and give you any due warnings. Stay here, and prepare for anything!"
Zang Shu goes inside a hole, as he quietly snickered.
Jiang: "Zang Shu placed me incharged of you all. Stand by me and be prepared for anything."
Stomps are heard.
Chi Warrior 1: "Those yeties are coming!"
Yange: "No...... It's something bigger."
The Stomps get louder, then stop.
Suddenly, the gates are being opened by the Ma-Chi Titan!
The Chi Warriors gasped!
Lu Kai: "SAY HELLO TO MY NEW TOY?! AND YOUR NEW MASTER?!..... AND IN A SENSE, YOUR OLD ONE?! (LAUGHS!)"
Hai Hoi's followers saw that Hai Hoi was in the chest.
Yange: "...... Hai Hoi......."
Jiang: "......... LU KAI, YOUR ABOMINABLE MACHINE, SHALL NOT SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY?! DESTROY IT?!"
Hai Hoi's followers fired their strongest Chi blasts at the weapon!
Lu Kai: (It absorbed the engery and only made it stronger)... HAH! You see? The Titan has the ability to absorb any Chi or Magic attack, and feed it's own power. Any Chi or Magic attack, is all but useless. Well, to you guys at least. It only serves to help me out way more.
Yange: You WON'T get away with this!
Lu Kai: Yes, I, will! I've waited FAR too long for this to happen. I will NOT allow any of you do-gooders to get in my way. So either you move, or I run over you.
Jiang: We don't care WHAT you say! We're still putting a stop to this, and we're getting our master back.
Lu Kai: (Laughs) Well, I don't know what's funnier. The fact that you think you can actually be of a match to me, or that you could've stopped it earlier.
Yange: WHAT THE F*** IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, FOUL BULL-BEAST?!?
Lu Kai: Ohh, I wouldn't want to be unsubtile and expose everything, but, I'll give you a hint. Let's just say, it wasn't very smart of Hai Hoi to try and fix a broken victim of Chi's destruction of the criminal city.
Yange:... Zang?
Suddenly, Lu Kai reached up the Ma Chi's hand, and fired a lightning chi/magic attack that paralises the group!
Lu Kai was heard laughing as the Yeties came forth and surrounded the defeated group.
Later.
Jiang and Yange were chained to a prison wall, along side Snow Hog, and the trio.
The two came through.
Pi Pi Zhu: "(Angerly Scarastic) Oh hey! You two are awake?! WELCOME TO PARADISE, DIPSHITS?!"
Cubao: "Believe us, now?"
Mafan: "Ya know sis, you didn't had to learn the truth the hard way?! But now that you did, Hai Hoi's redused to being a battery, and Zang has forced everyone else with less strong wills to serve Lu Kai now. Lu now has a replacement to his defunct bandit armies and is now abit worse!"
Jiang: "..... Mafan, I swear, I didn't know."
Mafan: "Look, to be fair, Zang pulled one hell of a good scam if even Hai Hoi didn't knew better. I can't say I blame ya for falling in no easy. And....... It didn't help that I'm known for being a reckless wise-ass. It feels like to be just as much my fault. If only if I didn't obcess over getting at Khan for what did, then......"
Cubao: "That really, worked against us."
Pi Pi Zhu: "(Sighs), But hey, Zang was a smart dirty rat, so, what could've we had done anyway?"
Yange: "...... I, would like to apologies myself, Mafan and friends. I should've known that even you three are not THAT reckless. I should've realised and remember Zang's backstory to offer neutraility and scrutanity."
Mafan: "Look, it's cool Miss Yange..... How else were you suppose to think, when we were known idiots?"
Snow Hog: "No friends..... It is ultamately my fault. Back in my illguided ways, I made Lu Kai that monstrosity, and I was forced to finish it. Now, he has an indestructable weapon, and only the Lougers can stop him now. But if only they were warned of it now being completed sooner."
Liu Kai, along with Snowise and Rat Wing, looked on sadly.
Liu Kai sighed sadly.
Rat Wing: "I know how you feel, miss Liu, but what else are we to do?"
Suddenly, two guns are pointed at Liu and the two spies!
It came from Deadpool!
Deadpool: "..... How's about her royal muteness and you two jackasses start by helping me freeing them?"
Snowise and Rat Wing looked at eachother, and gulped.
Snowise: "Now, now, hey, no need for the metal crossbow, we could've done that on our own!"
Deadpool: "Oh, I know! I'm just saving you dipshits the generic self-revelations and skip right into the part you do it!"
Liu jestures Deadpool to calm down, then leads him the trio to follow her.
Deadpool brings out giant nail-files and sliced down the bars and the chains.
Deadpool pulls out an acme warp hole, places down, grabs both prisoners and Liu and Snowise and Rat Wing, and jumps in with all them and yells Bonzai!
Si and Du arrived a minute too late and see the empty cell.
Si: "..... I think we're in the wrong dunguin."
The duo stupidly left as the Acme Warp vanished.
Elsewhere...
Deadpool: (They got out)... Well, congratulations, my friends, you've single-handedly doomed this whole world!
Jiang: WE?!? WHAT ABOUT YOU?!? WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT YOU WOULD'VE MADE IT BETTER BY CALLING OUT ZANG?!?
Deadpool: Hey, at least I KNOW I'm a reckless asshole, but at least I could've been more reliable to trust despite my out-of-control personality. Besides, I didn't see YOU do anything, Ms. Horrible Sister to Mafan!
Jiang: WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?!?
Deadpool: I don't know, maybe you could've questioned Zang yourself and have people investigate and interrogate him. Bitched at him, perhaps. Huh? Used your Bitch Fu on him? Jiang, the mistress of BITCHING, that what they should call you. Seriously, five ancient sages of Bitchdomall gathered together on the peaks of Mount Bitch to proclaim your birth, and 100 years later, when all the Bitch Stars aligned, you were born and made everyone's life around you a living hell, BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH!!!
Mafan: "Whoa, man, not cool, that's my sister your insulting?!"
Snow Hog: "Enough! Bickering like children's gonna help no one. The best we can do now is get to the Oasis of Ling and join with the heroes there."
Deadpool: "Done! (Pulls out a car alarm remote and gets his ship here.) Fair to warn ya, it's cramp, it's abit used, and, I'm a joyrider. So, hope you guys are all on empty stomichs."
Cubao: "Uh oh. Bye-bye, last week's Tofu."
Meanwhile...
Lord Shen: Well, THAT certainly should've gone better.
Little Foot: Yeah. That was totally irresponsible of Deadpool to just not think ahead.
Mantis: No kidding! Deadpool blew it! He had his head so far up Zang's case for any possibility he's guilty of something, he couldn't think straight.
Boss Wolf: Yeah. And now, we gotta fix what he caused, and stop Lu Kai from getting any farther.
Pinkie: (She was heard crying) I MISS DEADPOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL!!! (She cried)
Applejack:... And it didn't help that he renounced his friendship with Pinkie for this. Seriously, disbelief is the LAZIEST reason for revenge ever. It's like attackin' a baby for an accident. It's something that can't be helped.
Rainbow Dash: Damn right! Nobody's gonna believe anything without physical proof, and that's not something to get all pissy over. He was acting very pig-headed back there.
Viper: What I'm more concerned about is that, with those three banished, Hai Hoi's guard is shortened. From what we got from Lu Kai's power, it's clear that not even the Elders or Hai Hoi can handle themselves.
Icky: "They clearly have plently of other fighters, Vips, I think they're good."
Viper: Yes, but... Hai Hoi said that Lu Kai got a LOT of power, and thus he was a smart enough challenge for her. His army surpasses hers. Besides, I was not speaking to the idiots in the room. I was speaking to the wise ones in the room.
Icky: "(Looks offended)..... Oh it's THAT right, you prentious noodle of a master?"
Viper: "EXCUSE ME?!"
Icky: "I'll have you know that I'm not ALWAYS that dumb?! You have NO RIGHT TO JUST PUSH ME OFF THE SIDE LIKE THAT?!"
Viper: "Okay, I'll admit that came out wrong. I mean that I was asking someone who would better understand the situation!"
Icky: "AND YOUR SAYING I'M NOT THAT EITHER?!"
Viper: "No, I mean, I am not insulting you in anyway, it's just, I was talking to those who don't look at a situation at face value and-"
Icky: "Too late! The damage is done, Noodle Girl! You just lost my respect for you! And I'm usually a very easy-going guy!"
Sir Hiss: "Ickerious, what has gotten into you, good sir?"
Iago: "Well YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S the one who started it, you wimp of an asp!"
Sir Hiss: "What in the devil? Et Tu, Iago, Et Tu? I mean, I know our entire journey ended up being for not, but that's not excuse to get upset!"
Icky: "WELL PARDON ME IF I'M STRESSED OUT THAT WE MIGHT BE LATE FOR CHRISMAS?!"
Sir Hiss: "Well stress should never justify rude behavior?!"
Bubbha: "(Grabs Hiss) CAN IT, YOU LIMBLESS RATTLER?! (Gets to a beer barrol)"
Sir Hiss: "UNHAND YOU (Shoves Sir Hiss into it and closes off the barrol).... Please let me out, I don't drink."
Trixie: "Well THAT was excessive!"
Patrick: "Well his own fault for being a big dummy!"
Spongebob: "Patrick, now is not the time to go Modern Canon Show on us?!"
Squidward: "YOUR NOT EXACTLY HELPING, BARNICALE HEAD?!"
The Lougers began arguing!
Nick, Judy, and other non-Louger heroes stared.
Twilight: "..... It's really not encouraging when they get like this."
Gricky: "No kidden."
Cera: "Ditto."
Nick: ".... Good grief, even the guys during break at the station aren't this counter-productive."
Fu-Xi: "(Sighs annoyed)...... Could one of you try to get their attention?"
Judy gets on top of Nick and pulls out a whisle. She blows on it, getting everyone's attention!
Judy: "All right, listen up! This, is not professional behavior. I know we're all alittle stressed at the moment, but the impourent thing now is we get our heads togather and focus on the mission."
Savio: "You and who's athority, long ears?"
Nick: Guys, I'd listen to her if I were you. You don't wanna see her when she's HOPPING MAD!
Judy: Nick, what did I say about the puns?
Nick: Can't help it. Being a con artist for years kinda sticks to you, including the snark and the hilarity.
Judy: (Sighs) Whatever. This is still ridiculous. I can't comprehend the bad luck we got, and given how alot of resorted to name calling, I can see the rest of you can't either. But that doesn't mean we should forget what's impourent here! So let's all just calm down, pull our guts out of our legs, and make the most of what we got, before SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING THEY'LL REGRET!!
Icky: Make all the threats you want, Stacy Cottentail! We couldn't even make Kairi and Spyro's Brother-Sister Anniversary work COUNTLESS TIMES!!! All that happens is a stupid-headed villain sticks his evil-boning d*** into our party, slaps it off of schedule, and every time it happens, Kairi cries that she can't get a good party without it being ruined. Face it, this incident is proving that we cannot win at EVERYTHING! We failed to save the Princesses of Heart for crying out loud, and they're bound to be there for who knows HOW LONG?!? I'M STARTING TO THINK THEY MAY NEVER COME BACK AT ALL, BECAUSE YOU'D THINK WE'D HAVE THEM BACK BY NOW!!! SpongeBob was right back in our Canterlot adventure. We're mere fools. I FEEL AS IF WE JUST GOT TO THE WAYPOINT OF 20-F*****G-17 IN THIS ADVENTURE!!! LET'S FACE IT, WE'RE A JOKE!!!
Gazelle: (She, Judy, and Nick looked at each other)... You heroes wanna sit back and whimper like the little preschoolers that you are being? Very well, but I don't see the benifit behind it. None of the allies we got to know so far besides a handful that have been of help, have always been perfecto. They have their own agendas and misunderstandings, and there's little we can do to change it! What happened there, was no one's fault, not even theirs. What happened is just another case of life being unpredictable, and that it's not fair to expect things to always work out in the end. In fact, you guys have always managed well before when the truth was more complex when what was expected. You discovered good in a misunderstood pirate. You fixed a creature litterally named Tyranny thanks to a pre-regretful remorseful Dr. Eureka. Heck, this isn't even the first time Deadpool had lead a mission astray. Whatever happened to accepting him for who he is? Or does that go away when his happless behavior turns unbenifital? Was losing Hai Hoi's respect that soul crushing that you redused yourselves to bickering and being at eachother's throats? Look, I can understand on losing out of having major support from Hai Hoi, but who saids we would be helpless without her? And besides, it's for the best anyway, considering that Lu Kai wants to use her as a power-shorce for his machine, so perhaps it's best we resolve this ourselves. Were some of you really so hopeful of having powerful allies against Lu Kai, and that Lu Kai would be too confident to not do something about that, or that these allies are consisently good? Look, what happened in those other cases was different. Not all villains who are proud of themselves are automatic idiots nor do they forget that they're going against worthy abversaries. And sometimes, expectations can't always be quickly met. Now, I want everyone to just, get over the loss and dust themselves off, and see if we can try again. The greatest thing about mistakes, is not just learning from them, but also to understand that you made one, and aim to improve yourself. Now please..... Let's all improve ourselves from a mistake. For this world's sake, if Lu Kai DID had something to do with what happened, let's not give him the satisfaction that we are easily brushed off because of not having a sage with us. I don't want the lougers that lose hope quickly, I want the Lougers that I know, the Lougers that persist even in the toughest of times...... I want the Lougers that gave me the confidence to be more then just another prancer from Zootopia...... I want those lougers back......
The Lougers all looked at themselves......
Spongebob: "....... Gazelle...... We may not be genies, wish granting stars, fairy oddparents, or anything in the wish granting business, but....... Consider your wish of not having us being in this state, granted."
Viper: "Your right Gazelle. We should be better then this. Icky, I hope you can forgive me for the comment."
Icky: "Ahhhh, come on Vips, I've been called worse."
The Lougers began apologising to eachother.
Bubbha goes back to the barrol as Hiss's drunken ramblings are heard. He opens the barrol.
Sir Hiss drunkenly came on.
Sir Hiss: "Oh there you guys are! Hey, Gazelle, can you whip us up a motivating speech to get everything back in line?"
The Lougers and the allies began laughing!
Sir Hiss: "(Hic) Was it something I said?"
Gazelle:... Let's just get him sobered up, and do what Judy says, and stop Lu Kai however we can. As my cruder uncle once said, it's time to get some cojones.
Pang Bing: I couldn't have said it better. It's time I cleared myself completely, and end the nightmare that started MY nightmare.
Meanwhile...
Mafan:... So, you thought you could prove us innocent?
Cubao: You renounce, pink friend?
Deadpool: Not one of my finest moments, okay? I was confused! I thought everyone was being so blind to his tricks, and that he was using some kinda jinx spell on them. I thought that all except those with occlumency would see right past it like I can thanks to my healing factor giving me psychic immunity, but turns out, he's too smart for that. Just a classic case of the lougers not getting the obviously evil sounding name. I mean, his name translated, is "DIRTY, RAT"?! How does anyone not see that coming!?
Zhu: What you did, didn't exactly help yo!
Deadpool: No need to rub it in, tiny!
Zhu: Did you just call me-
Deadpool: "OH DON'T ACT TOO OFFENDED?! YOUR A BUG?! BY ALL ACCOUNTS IT'S TECNECALLY A COMPLIMENT?!"
Pi Pi Zhu: "Just because it's a physical norm for my kind to be small, DOESN'T MEAN WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT?! WE WISH TO BE BIG AND HUGE, AND-
Yange: Enough! The time to worry about our mistakes is over. The time to correct it, is now. Now, shall we please proceed to do such?
Deadpool: THAT'S WHAT I WAS TELLING YOU GUYS BEFORE!!! I'm gonna make it up to those Lodgers later. Right now, we need to pull our balls out of our purses, and do our jobs.
Jiang: Okay, THAT'S sexist!
Deadpool: Yes, it's sexist! So sue me! I ain't in the freaking mood for political correctness right now?! Lu Kai has Pangy's orb mommy, and your sea turtle sage! Both inside a giant robot! Of which by the way if you put the moral dilemma aside, IS FREAKING AWESOME?! Who knows what he's gonna do with it first?
Meanwhile.
Lu Kai was laughing maniacly as he was juggling rocks with the Ma-Chi titan!
Back to the leftbehind group.
Deadpool stared blankly....
Cubao: "..... You okay?"
Deadpool: "Well, it's hard for me to explain since you guys aren't as post modern as me, but, let's just say, I would SAFELY bet he would at first fool around with the Ma-Chi titan for a bit as a break after a big victory over you clowns, but then after words, he'll get serious."
Yange: "Based on what you said, it's assume Lu Kai will flex the machine's mussles first. Then once he gets confident enough, he'll use it to congure his first imperal city. Oh which unquestionably will be one under Mah Jong's rule. Then, once he's taken over enough imperial cities and control enough armies, he'll go for the capital next. Then after words, it's a safe bet he'll revitalised Lu Kai the Terrorable's Reign, only making it many times worse."
Snow Hog: "Then we must get to Ling's Oasis as soon as possable."
Deadpool: "Well luckly for you guys, the S.S. Chimichunga is the fastest ship this side of the marvel universe! We'll get there, asap!"
Suddenly, the ship gets attacked by Sparrow Bandits!
Snow Hog: "SPARROW BANDITS?!"
Deadpool: "AW COME ON?! ARE SPARROWS EVEN NATIVE TO CHINA?!"
Snow Hog: "Well, yes and no. The poor birds were victims of horrorable discrimination in the infamous Four Pests campaign and-"
Deadpool: "SAY NO MORE?! THAT MEANS I CAN'T KILL THEM?! I owe the lougers to show that I'm not ALWAYS reckless! Besides, Pinkie's zoophile friend would KICK MY ASS HARD if I screw over these guys! Sheesh, sometimes, these crazy incidents happen earlier than expected. I mean, didn't that occur in the 20th Century, and this world is in an earlier one?"
Yange: Your questioning historic accreatcy to that of other worlds when you are CLEARLY in a different world with a vastly different history?
Deadpool: Good point. Bottom line, this species is no doubt rare and protected, so, if I hurt them, even so much as a feather, it means jailtime and an ass-whooping from Fluts.
Jiang: "Then evade them and lose them!"
Deadpool: "Easier said then done! I rarely run from a fight! Besides, when the Lodgers made this, they put no weapons on it." (They did so as they ran off)
Jiang: THEY PUT NO WEAPONS ON IT?!? THEN HOW DO YOU DEFEND YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK?!?
Deadpool: Lady, you CLEARLY don't know me too well! To the lougers, I can't be trusted with the weapons I DO have on me, you honestly expect them to trust me with cool super tec and not do something stupid with it?
Jiang: "I-...... Actselly, that's a sound arguement considering what happened prior."
Deadpool: Besides, they supplied me with something helpful but harmless in a practical moral sense.The solar-powered panels the SS Chimichanga has allows me to only have defense. Like THIS! (He puts a solar-powered yellow energy shield) DON'T LOOK, BIRDIES!!!
Sparrow Bandit #1: What the f***?!?
Sparrow Bandit #2: HOLY SMOKES!!!
Sparrow Bandit #3: YOU SAID THIS THING WAS AN EASY TARGET, BOSS!!! (A stronger and buffer sparrow came in)
Sparrow Bandit Boss: I only said it didn't had weapons. That doesn't mean it cannot defend itself. Allow ME to handle this. (He literally absorbed the solar-powered energy and disabled the shield)...
Jiang:... Oh, no! This is not just ANY Sparrow Bandit brigade. It's that of Taiyang Neng! One of the few in his time to master Chi so well to control solar energy and fuel himself with it.
Deadpool:... You can do that? Chi can REALLY basicly make you solar powered? Wow, rarely do we see eviomently friendly villains.
Yange: It's more then that, you unenlighten outsider! It's common to Chi-wielding bird masters. Taiyang's old master's Timor flying dragon family, the Shanyao, created the technique, and birds, or anything else capable of flight, were the best ones to master the technique. They must be attacking because they want to use your ship's capabilities for their own bandit purposes.
Deadpool: Well, not if I can help it! (All he does to defend himself is absorbed by Taiyang)... Well, s***! If this guy can have an advantage over my ship because of my solar powers, then... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
The ship flies off as the Sparrow Bandits prove persisent!
Ling's Oasis Temple.
Master Ling: "It is to my understanding that your journey has proven greatly unexpected."
Po: "Yyyyeah, uh, let's just say, the Chi Tanuki's were proxy fakes, and Hai Hoi hates us because of-"
Master Ling: "The stupid mercenary?"
Icky: "Bingo."
Master Ling: "Well, I can understand that he made several fatal errors, but, I sense a disturbence in the chi that concerns Lu Kai. He has become stronger then we feared."
Gazelle: "...... How strong?"
Master Ling: "In a way I have yet to understand, Lu Kai has managed to become one with Hai Hoi and Pang's Mother Orb."
Iago: "Aw shit, that must be his Ma-Chi Titan!"
Lord Shen: "Wait, I thought that would be impossable for Lu Kai to atthive! Unless..... Could it be possable that Deadpool, in his own stupid way, could've been RIGHT about Zang?!"
Master Ling: "Maybe you can ask him when he gets here with some guests, both intended and unintended, right about..... (Deadpool was heard screaming as he crashed the ship into the the outskirts of the Oasis as the Sparrow Bandits reached in!)........ Now."
Icky: "Pfft! Did Deadpool just got pwned by a bunch of little birds?"
Gazelle: "Yes, Sparrows, uh, why is everyone concerned by this?"
Shifu:... Well, in our world, the Four Pests Campaign came and made sparrows pretty rare, and it rendered sparrows like these into bandits.
Icky:... You cannot be serious! First the near-extinction of the Baiji, now this? Is history REALLY f****d up?
Merlin: Don't ask questions you already know the answer to, Ickster.
Gazelle: And what is this 'Four Pests Campaign'?
Duke: Something tells me it sounds like something you don't wanna know about too much.
Taiyang: YOUR SHIP, IS MINE!!!
Shifu:... Taiyang Neng!
Po: The guy who learned how to make his Chi solar-powered from Master Shanyao!
Taiyang: There's no need to state the obvious! I have come for this ship.
Shifu:... Deadpool's ship?
Taiyang: Oh I'm sorry, aren't your dinner plate ears not working properly? Yes I wanted his ship! I can use it to make our career easier.
Deadpool: (Gets out of the ship) ALRIGHT, tough guy! I'll still kick your ass without having these guys yakkity-yak at me! You guys may be protected, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't harm you, unless... How many sparrows are left here?
Shifu: 74.
Deadpool: THEN DAMN, THAT'S OUT!
Shifu: (Sighs) We can still fight him as long as we don't hurt him too much.
Trixie: And it seems like that is not your thing, DP!
Deadpool: DP? (Laughs) You DO know that has more than one meaning right?
Trixie: Like what?
Deadpool:... Double penetra- (His head was blasted off by Taiyang)
Taiyang:... Well good riddence. I get to silence an idiot, and claim ownership of a great ship.
SpongeBob: You clearly have not met Deadpool before, did ya?
Taiyang: And why must you ask that as if I needed prior knowledge to deal with an idiot like him? It's not like he processes extreme regenerative powers or anything-
???: HEY BIRDASS!! (Deadpool just grew his head back)... You have ANY idea how much that stings?!? Ow! It's one thing if I do it to myself, but how you did it, augghh!
Taiyang:... HOW?!? WHAT KIND OF HEALING FACTOR GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO GROW YOUR HEAD BACK?!? AND HOW DID HE EVEN GROW HIS MASK BACK?!?... (Dubbed as TFS Semi-P Cell)... I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIOONNS!!!
Deadpool: Here's 5 ways to get the answer through your thick bird skull... 1- (He slapped him into sand as he got out and spit the sand out)...... Aw come on, I didn't even get to do more then one!
Icky: "He's a sparrow, dumbass! You can hold him the palm of your hand!"
Deadpool: "So what, do I have to slap him with my pinkie or something?"
Taiyang: "Is one mere alien ship TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"
Icky: "Buddy, I'm not sure you would even WANT Deadpool's ship if you got to see the interior. It most likely reeks of chimichanga/taco/pancake hybreeds and is infested with sexual innuendos by now."
Cubao: "We, comferm that. It real nasty."
Snow Hog: "Yeah Tai, your better off not bothering with this tragic wreck. I even found weird and gross plastic socks in there that are filled with a subtence I rather not know what it is."
Taiyang: "Oh please, it can't honestly be that bad-"
One series of trumatised screamings later.
Taiyang was seen puking in a tiny bucket.
Sparrow 1: "....... Ya know sir, it's not like we can't simply cleaned up the ship."
Taiyang: "ARE YOU KIDDING?! NO CHAMBER MAID OR SCULLERY MAID WOULD EVER HAVE THE NERVE TO CLEAN UP THAT DISHASTOR AREA OF A SHIP!? I- (Pukes)"
Sparrow 2: "Well then, then we just attacked these apparent friends of the Lougers for nothing then."
Taiyang: "SHUT UP, AND LET ME PUKE IN PEA- (PUKES AGAIN?!)"
The Sparrows were seen inside a large bird cage.
Lord Shen: "..... Deadpool, after this, you and I, will have a nice LONG chat about proper ship care edikite!"
Deadpool: "But, my ship being messy helped stop those guys."
Lord Shen: "Only by a margin that Taiyang underestimated your ability to care for your ship, in that you don't seem to do that, AT ALL!"
Deadpool: "Okay fine! I was on the fence about doing some spring cleaning anyway."
Snow Hog: "AHEM! Before we get side tracked, can we please explain the terrorable news that happened after the Lougers were chased away?"
Deadpool: Oh, right. You see... I WAS RIGHT!!! OH, YEAH!! I WAS, RIGHT! ZANG SHU WAS EVIL, AND SOLD HAI HOI OUT TO LU KAI! SUCK IT LIKE A LOLLIPOP!! (Laughs)
Sandy: Don't push it, Deadpool! When Ling pointed out that Hai Hoi was in trouble, we gotten the idea that you were right. And alchourse, with them here, I think it just go confirmed.
Deadpool: Bitch, I do what I want!
Jiang: AND if I were you, I'd make up with your pink friend.
Deadpool:... (Sighs) Fine! The least I can do after rubbing it in. Pinkie, I'm sorry for being an ass to you. Can we be friends again?
Pinkie: (She got her poofy hair again with a squee) YAAAAAAY!!
Icky: "Well that was a major plot-point sloved as quickly as it showed up."
Deadpool: Deal with it, you prehistoric turkey. Now, we need a plan to beat Lu Kai. Anyone got a plan to stop this guy?
Jiang: And just a heads up, Chi and magic attacks will be useless. All they'll do is feed the Titan's power.
Fidget: Well, I suppose we CAN make a plan to beat a guy like that. We ALWAYS have a plan.
Kowalski: Got a plan?
Skipper: No!
Savio: (Sighs) You penguins are NOT helping right now.
Skipper: "Don't make me get an old elephant friend involved with this, Sa-Vay-O!"
Savio: "IT'S SAVIO?!"
Viper: "Guys! We don't need another episode! We need to focus on how we can fight back against Lu Kai in the Ma-Chi titan! Alot of friends we made on our quest to get here would like to know we have a plan to go up against a worthy oppendent."
Icky: "Well, do what we do to other obsorbers. Overload the darn thing until it gets a power flux and blows up from the surge."
Jiang: "We can't do it like that. That could risk harming Hai Hoi! And no one can bare sacrivicing her, even if it's to stop Lu Kai."
Pang Bing: "That same goes to the orb mother."
Icky: "Rats, I was afraid the Hai Hoi being a battery situation was gonna be in the way."
Monkey: "Well did you guys discover any weakpoints?"
Jiang: "We were not able to last longer then a few moments."
Mantis: "Figures."
Jiang: "Although, I'd saw the only weakness would be Lu Kai himself riding on the thing on where a head should be."
Mafan: "Yeah but let's face it, the guy would be smart enough to pay attention to his surroundings. Ya'll be smacked off before you can pull off an epic surprise!"
Pang Bing: "..... The outside may be undefeatable.... But what about attacking in inside?"
Pi Pi Zhu: "Hey, not a bad plan, cept, ya now, the thing's covered with DAMN good armor! Don't look like anyone can get into it! Not even small guys like me?!"
Pang Bing: "That is.... If you try to do it while intangiable."
Mantis: "Your saying the small guys should get ghost powers?"
Shifu: Explain yourself, Pang.
Pang Bing: "Not nessersarly ghost powers. But the ability to enter even the thickest object even without a small space."
Mantis: "Well, that's good, except, WOULDN'T THE SPELL BE ABSORBED BY THE MA-CHI TITAN?!"
Pang Bing: "It's not that simple. Based on what was discribed, it's obvious that Lu Kai only had the titan protected from offensive chi attacks and spells. But what about defensive and passive ones?"
Snow Hog: "He does have plans for that, but luckly, the Ma-Chi titan currently avaluable is mostly a prototype. It can only be protected from attacks and offencive abilities. He hoped that his enemies would do nothing but be on the offesive."
Icky: "But the guy is still smart enough to consider alternate ways to keep his titan protected from such things just in case, no doubt."
Snow Hog: "And you be right. He constructed machanical "Anti-Bodies" in the image of machanical figures to protect the titan from small enemies. Lu Kai may be a risk taker, but he's smart about it."
Pang Bing: But I'm sure we CAN pull through. I've gone unavenged for THOUSANDS of years because Mothlock held me back, and made me go through it the wrong way. I won't let ANY of his fail safes hold me back. I'm almost at full Equinox potential, and I won't lose out on stopping Lu Kai at last.
Master Ling: Well, Lu Kai's forces are no easy obsicle. You need to be a force to be reckon with to have a chance.
Pang Bing: That's why I have the people I need to pull it off. Hopefully, by our final battle, I'll reach my full potential, and destroy him.
Master Ling: Well, know that there is ONE advantage. (Points to Liu Kai) This is the 71st of the Lu Kai line. She's... Not of full loyalty to her younger brother. Being mute, she was not able to stand up to her brother. She MIGHT give us the key to beating the Ma-Chi Titan.
Icky: "Oh right, Deadpool brought her and those two dips***s (Points to Snowise and Rat Wing being tied to chairs) here. But why ask the mute when Snow Hog can talk AND is the one who build it?"
Snow Hog: "Because I was only allowed to make the basic design. Lu Kai and Skunkape added some additional touches without my knowledge in any event I would prove to be unrelieable."
Icky: "Plot convenience much?"
Deadpool: I prefer 'keep the villain from being too easy to beat like before because it's more fun that way'!
Squidward: "Well HOW the barnicles are we suppose to talk to a mute?!"
Pang Bing:...
Squidward:... What?... WHAT?!?
Pang Bing: Is the answer TOO blurry for you?!? You just have to do THIS! (She places her paw on Liu Kai, and reads her mind)...
Snowise:... What did you just do?
Pang Bing: Read her mind. Now we have all the info we need to take the Ma-Chi Titan down.
Deadpool: And THAT'S how you REALLY get the tactics to beat a villain in a hero vs. villain scenario. BY BEING AS CLEVER, IF NOT MORE, THAN THE VILLAIN! Suck it-
MSM: Talk back to the producer, DP! See what happens!
Liu Kai:... (Was wondering what that was)
Spyro: Oh, that's just nothing. Point is, we can handle the Ma-Chi Titan now, right?
Pang Bing: Precisely. Once our allies from through this adventure arrive, we must head back to the van and plan things out.
Mah Jong's palace.
A messinger snow bunny stood before Mah Jong.
Snow Bunny: "Lord Lu Kai has requested that you surrender your throwne peacefully, or else it shall be taken from you."
Mah Jong: "Look man, your gonna have to tell Lu that my kingdom has seen enough excitment for the day, yo. We ain't in no more mood for Yeti Trouble."
Snow Bunny: Uh... He has magic, and he just heard you.
(Lu Kai): Yeah, I just heard you. (A tremor was heard)
Snow Bunny: OKAY, WHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN NOT TO SHOOT THE MESSENGER?!? (He bounced off with graceful rabbit agility)
Mah Jong: "...... I don't think that was the yeties."
Fu Wi: "Oh, it's worse then them I fear!"
Mah Jong: Yeah, sure. What could be worse than a Yeti, dare I aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (The Ma-Chi Titan was seen as it broke open the palace)
Fu Wi:... Oh budda no.
Lu Kai: (He stomps into the furtherly destroyed palace)... You wanna say no to THIS, raccoon boy?
Mah Jong:... Okay, for once, I am NOT an excitophile.
Fu Wi: "Oh, NOW you take things TRUELY seriously?!"
Lu Kai: "Hey, dips***s! Eyes on the prize?!"
Fu Wi: "Lord Lu Kai, please consider, this city is in ruins! What use is it to you?"
Lu Kai: "All great history changers have to start somewhere. Besides, I need to be able to turn every single able-bodied person, even if they're about the size of a microscopic dust mite, to become part of my new Chi army?! And you have plently of that. I don't nessersarly need this mess of a town for that?!"
Mah Jong: "And what makes you assume the Lougers ain't gonna wreck your s***?"
Lu Kai laughed confidently.
Lu Kai: "Your already looking at it."
Yetis began to enter the palace as they surround Mah Jong and Fu Wi!
Lu Kai: "And consider your asses, my first in many congured emperor's to come?!"
Fu Wi wimpered while hiding behind Mah Jong as the Yeties closed in!
Outside the palace.
Ku Whip: "(The "Where There's A Whip There's A Way" song was heard playing in the background as the citizens are seen dragged in ice chains empowered by chi with both Yetis and Enslaved Chi Warriors present as Ku Whip made good use of his whip!) MOVE IT, SWINES?! BACK TO LU KAI'S LAIR WITH YOU?!"
The Citizens are seen going through a chi generated portal that goes directly to Lu Kai's cow skull mountain lair.
Skun stood proud of this atthivement.
Skun: "...... Everything's falling into place."
Si and Du nerviously approuched General Skun.
Si: "..... Uh, brother? P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p, promise us you won't be mad....."
Skun: "..... Snow Hog, and the Chi Masters we HAVEN'T gotten to control, escaped and took the spies and Liu Kai, didn't they?"
Du: "Actselly, it was about on how we can't find them, BUT THAT'S SHOCKING TO KNOW?!"
Skun: "I bet your wondering why I am not mad."
Si: "..... Uh, yeah, that be nice to know."
Skun: "(Laughs)... Simple! I knew it was gonna happen because that red ninja was the only one to have not left with the Lodgers! I smelled his foul stench within miles! And MAN does he reek of personal suffering and embarrisment! And it was joined with the smells of the prisoners and dear Liu Kai. Ohhhh, trust me. I already informed Lu Kai of it, and though he showed some concern for his sister, he knew that as long as he has the Ma-Chi Titan, it's at best a minor inconvenience, and one he's gonna correct soon enough. Now, the least YOU two dumbasses can do, is serve as Prefects for Zang's new students. We owe that rat a chance to be master, and by the laws of ice, we're giving it to him. Cause in return, we'll get a ripe army of Chi warriors in return. Now hope to it, Snowcones?!"
Si and Du saluted and tried to run off, but bumped into eachother stupidly, then resume their return to the base!
Skun: "..... I don't even mind their complete stupidity for once. Because soon, all this, will pay off."
Ling's Oasis
The Allies they made in the entire Emperor Lu Kang 4 saga arrived.
Quack: "I am ever so curious as to why we were all called here."
Sing Zei: "I boggles the mind, sir."
Ba Zing: "Clearly it is of dire impourence."
Sao: "Yeah, or we wouldn't've even come back here."
Jing: "Nor having to travel through desert."
Fei: "Nor cope with the smell of vultures! Even with them arrested and off to Chorh-Gom, their filth is STILL present!"
Jing Ling: "I share those sentiments. Their filth is worse in the sky!"
Jin: "Well no offense to any good vultures, but yeah, the smell of corpses SUCKS!"
Jong Hao: "WATCH IT, LOUDMOUTH?!"
Jin: "I said "no offence!"
Gao: "The journey was argoious, but I trust was worth the effert!"
Ki Lo: "For all of us to be here, I predict is of great concern."
Ku Kai: "Whatever it is, I'M READY TO BREAK IT?!"
Si Sai: "Unsurprising to hear that from you."
Yuan: "Yuan ready for anything!"
Kaarage and his students were waiting paitently.
Tsin, Fa, and the Fearsome Five are doing training poses.
Wingz and Dingz were seen struggling with Gluttotank.
Wingz: "Remind me again, WHY do we have to carry him?"
The Nature Sisters were seen.
The Builder Villagers were seen.
The Hainan Islanders were seen.
Master Dolphin is seen, along side the other Yellow Sea masters.
The Otters with Oriental Claw were seen.
Kunch was seen.
Mekong was meditating.
Big Blood and the Leeches were seen.
Master Xiyi was seen,
Bing Dou arrived.
The Shangra La wolves arrived.
Zhan was meditating.
Liu the Chimon was seen.
Wi-Wi and Qui-Qui were seen.
The Magic Cult and the Mofa Statue arrived.
Finally, the Yeti Elder arrives.
Kun Lao came before them.
Kun Lao: "..... I want to thank you all for coming, because what I am about to say, is of dire impourence, because China's well being is in the balence."
Xiyi: I believe so. Our magic AND Chi senses are sky-rocketing. Something powered by both of them is tearing it's way through Mah Jong's place.
Kun Lao:... (Sighs)... Well... Lu Kang's cousin, has finished his plan to finish what Lu Kai II had started. (They all gasped)
Big Blood: Aw, gees, you guys! Ya'll said you had that covered! What happened?
Jiang: Well, some dirty rat betrayed us and sold Hai Hoi off to Lu Kai to power his superweapon powered by magic and Chi.
Master Dolphin gasped wimpfully!
Master Dolphin: "HAI HOI'S BEEN CAPTURED?!"
Deadpool: AND THEY COULD'VE STOPPED IT EARLIER HAD THEY NOT BEEN HYPOCRITES WITH THEIR WISDOM!!!
Jiang:... To be fair, Zang had done well to earn our trust while Mafan did nothing but act foolish! How were we supposed to suspect him of wrong doing?!
Deadpool was about to speak!
Jiang: "APART from his past and his name, because judging him based on those merits would've been unfair!"
Deadpool: ".... Okay, fine, good point!"
Kun Lao: "Pardon my rudeness Miss Jiang, but neither you or Deadpool were not permitted to speak."
Jiang: ".... Sorry, I, I still couldn't get over my mistake."
Kun Lao: "(Back to the crowd) But overall, she has well enough explained why Lu Kai wasn't handled as well as we should've. Hai Hoi is powering the Chi side, while the lost Magic Orb is powering the magic side. With those two in his Ma-Chi Titan, he is immune to magic and Chi attacks, and he absorbs them and adds them to his Ma-Chi Titan's power. And now, we're going to need your aide to have a chance at this, as we might have a plan to get around that which require your help."
Kunch:... And you called those of us who aren't fighters... Why?
Kun Lao: "Because not every battle is won with physical confrontation alone. Each of you have talents that can aide us into the battle and you have no need to have any ability to fight. We need the outsider aide of advantages in other ways. The Builders will make something that'll grant us ways to prepare for Lu Kai, the nature sisters connection to nature will grant us early warnings. And others, you have talents that doesn't need to be about fighting to help you win over adversity. I implore you, do not let the odds frighten you. That is what Lu Kai would want. To go on unchallnaged. We must prove to him that China is not his to reclaim in the banner of Lu Kai II."
Oriental Claw:... He's got a good point.
Master Dolphin: (Hyperventelates abit, but then calms down).... I, can concur.
Mekong: Amen.
Bing Dou: Damn right!
Yuan: SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!! (Everyone paused in reaction to that)... What?
Mushu: You know, big guy, you're lucky we're on the other side of China, otherwise Lu Kai would've heard us.
Pang Bing: Mushu, he's got magic. He can basically hear anything. DON'T JINX IT!!
Mushu:... Sorry.
Pang Bing: Now then, here's our plan. (She displays a very elaborate magical simulation)... We've got it all planned out as well as we could.
Skipper: Ugh, this makes the North Wind look amateur... I LIKE IT!
Pang Bing: If we are not to get anymore interuptions, let me explain! The Ma-Chi Titan may seem impervious and feed on Chi and magic, but it is only a prototype as he couldn't finish it by the complete design before we came. Thus, it only absorbs offensive Chi and magic. The best he's got against those that AREN'T those things is small magic-based 'antibodies' that defend the device against small enemies. And Lu Kai's always gonna be aware of his surroundings, so we need to ensure that he is distracted. And with Liu Kai providing me the plans for how much the Ma-Chi Titan has right now, we have a plan to destroy it. So here it is. (Simulations of them arrive)... Gazelle will lead the charge against the Ma-Chi Titan, while the others will provide either reconnaissance or distract Lu Kai while holding off his forces, enabling Master Mantis, Master Spider, Sparx, and any small volenteers to go inside the machine. Be sure to hide yourselves and stay hidden because the Ma-Chi Titan seems to be strong enough to easily beat you in one fell swoop. And as for the inside? Well, China seems to have limited knowledge on modern-day technology, and Snow Hog told us much about how the Ma-Chi Titan works, and with the knowledge Liu Kai gave us, we have a plan of sabotage.
Snow-Hog: The Ma-Chi Titan is not entirely mechanical. It has steel, yes, and uses it as armor, but there's no advanced machinery like wirings or motherboards. Instead, it's something that my family was great at building: A steel that was capable of providing power and a specialized mind of it's own with Chi. With that, it can act like a machine, or as a living being, simulating one efficiently.
Pang Bing: As for the magic side? That's ANOTHER story. The magic side seems to be responsible for the high-level abilities such as shielding, senses, augmentation, telekinesis, and anything else that magic can do. The Mother Orb is held to where Lu Kai controls his imperial spector, serving as the machine's ill-gotten brain, while Hai Hoi resides on the thing's chest, serving as a prime battery. And like such, they let in magic and Chi from the environment, allow the trapped two to act as reactors to apply it to the rest of the machine, and then use the excess magic as a weapon. They can even be blended to form a special attack that we didn't get much detail on, but Liu Kai said... Or knew... That whatever it was, it was something that could purge magic or Chi from anything, absorbing it within a 50-mile radius, and... Well... The results are entirely unknown.
Snow Hog: But we DO know that the results can be very dangerous. My best guess is that it can result in something like a reactor leak. It can unleash deadly energy however it's used. We don't even know what happens when Chi and magic are combined as... It hasn't been done NOR recorded in eons.
Pang Bing: Regardless, it's for the best that remains unknown. This ability can only be achieved when he has absorbed enough energy. The small ones shall find a way to dislouge Hai Hoi and the mecanisum attached to Lu Kai's staff. But be cautious. The two chambers are brewing with unstable Chi and Magic energy. Cracking them open without disposing of the pistons that charge the output of the energy within, the windpipe-like tubes that absorb the energy, and the stabilizers that keep the energy in place, will result in the Ma-Chi Titan being destroyed immediately, killing everyone in it, as well as creating a big and deadly-energized explosion. On top of that, you must destroy the attachments in the right sequence, otherwise the energy could go in unneeded areas and cause unneeded consequences. You mist first destroy the chargers, then destroy the stabilizers, and then the absorbers. I repeat, chargers, stabilizers, and absorbers. Once those three have been knocked out, we can free Hai Hoi and the Orb with no repercussions. Once those two are out, the Ma-Chi will lose it's power, and Lu Kai will be vulnerable, and thus we can capture him and finish the job.
Kunch: "Just one question...... How, can we get inside the thing? It, doesn't look like it has obvious weaknesses or holes for us bug-types to get it."
Pang Bing: "That's why you and the others will be made intangible and be able to get inside without need of such."
Kunch: Just one concern..... Will Lu Kai be able to sense our Chi if we know how to wield it?
Pang Bing: I won't deny this concern and say your too small to be noticed by him in some shape or form. But I'm confidant you can avoid him.
Mantis: Well, not exactly reassuring, but it's honest.
Pi Pi Zhu: "Well I'm game either way! All I'm for is breaking that over-sized toy of his!"
Tito: YEAH! Let's wreck it like a car! And thank God that I ain't gonna be barbequed again!
Francis: If I were you, I wouldn't jinx it.
Tito: Hey, he said the smallest members. There's nothing to jinx, Frankie!
Francis: Francis, Francis... (In his face) FRANCIS!!!
Dodger: COOL IT! (Tito raspberries until he stopped when Dodger glared angrily at him)... Now we got work to do!
Tigress: Yes. The Ma-Chi Titan is no doubt gonna be hard to distract so you guys can enter and sabotage it. With what was described about it, it looks like you could be smashed into a bloody pulp before you could throw a punch.
Skipper: That's a pretty excessive way to put it if there was not a better term.
Pang Bing: Do not worry. I have all the ways to ensure everything goes as planned. We need to keep him distracted, because he's always gonna be looking around for his enemies. He'll be expecting us soon, so we need to hit him when he least expects it.
Banzai: Doubt he'll do THAT. He's practically done so much ruckus, he's growing bored without us. Since he heard you were coming back, he might wanna see what you've got.
Shifu: He's not the impatient NOR patient type. He will not simply wait for us by standing around. He'll do as much damage he can until we arrive. He has to do as much as he can with the Titan.
Marty: So what're we gonna do to distract him?
Pang Bing: It'll be addressed once we get there. I've been waiting for this for a LONG time, and after I dealt with my personal demons, AND all the bad luck that just occurred throughout this entire adventure, I do NOT, wanna stand by and watch, as that maniac wipes out dozens of innocent lives in the name of the first maniac that lead me down the wrong path. You guys are my only hope of making that happen.
Icky: "Well what're gonna do? Get the most annoying piece of crap ever to drive the guy nuts to the point that he loses focus on everything even if it's within range?"
Everyone looks at Deadpool.
Deadpool: "........ What?"
Later...
Deadpool: (In his disco outfit)... This isn't my usual brand of being annoying.
WB Deadpool: "Well they desided against using Icky because of past mistakes."
YB Deadpool: "And hey, you can MAKE IT WORK! Your Deadpool!"
Deadpool: Well, I hope I can pull this off! Lu Kai sounds like a total buzzkill!
WB Deadpool: He IS a total buzzkill! He's a villain.
Deadpool: Stop being a smartass and let's just do this already! (He walked up to Lu Kai while he was giving a big speech to his Yeti army.) HEY, DUM CUMPSTER!!!
Lu Kai: (He noticed him)... Oh! I was HOPING you and your friends would show up. Where are they?
Deadpool: Wouldn't YOU like to know! First, you gotta deal with the unkillable Deadpo- (He smacked him some mountains) YOU GODDAMN CHEAP SONOVABI- (He crashed into a final mountain)... IS THAT ALL YOU GO- (The mountain crumbled on top of him)... It... It'll take a lot more than tha- (He randomly exploded)...
Lu Kai:... Perhaps if you spent more time concentrating than talking, maybe you'd be less predictable.
Deadpool: (He teleported back in) OH, YOU'RE KIDDING!! I'M PREDICTABLE?!? (He got out his boombox and this music played) I'M JUST GETTING WARMED UP!!
MVC3 Deadpool theme
Lu Kai: (He was confused as a random audience cheered for him as he danced, and Lu Kai attacked as Deadpool dodged him with his dancing while at the same time kicking him many times and catching him off guard)
Deadpool: This slick dyno-mite! He's coming for me! Wants to fight!
Lu Kai: STOP MOVING!!! (He keeps attacking)
Deadpool: HIT ME! WOOP! (He dodged another attack until he finally cornered him)...
Lu Kai:... Got'cha! (He caused him to fall into a hidden sinkhole created by him earlier)
Deadpool: OH, BOY!! (He dropped in, until he teleported out)... HEY, HORNY-HEAD!... YA MISSED! (Scattered off in cartoonish footsteps) WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!!!
Lu Kai: "What in the- COME BACK HERE, NINJA?!"
Lu Kai went after him!
General Skun: "Sir, wait, where are you going?! (Lu Kai didn't paid attention)..... We haven't even begun our next invadtion yet! Unbelieveable?! All we got so far is the one imperial city?!"
Ku Whip: "Ahhhh, don't worry! Lu Kai will finish him off quickly! We'll be fine!"
???: "ATENT-SI-TION, EL YETIS?!"
The Yetis looked to see Gazelle.
Gazelle: ".... I think that one city is just about enough."
Skun: "(Yetis were about to attack) Hold up, boys! My brothers and cousin Ku got this."
Skun lined up with Si, Du, and Ku Whip.
Skun: "Get ready to be knocked out of your Uniter high-horse, princess!"
Gazelle: "Honny, I defeated at least 3 major evils and a mutant saber-tooth in my starting days as a Uniter. I don't think four over-sized chimps are gonna be a problem."
Skun: "Ohhhhh, a feisty one."
Music was heard as the Four approuch Gazelle.
Gazelle: "And, here we go!"
We Are Number One (But It's Perfect)
Gazelle began to effertlessly fight off all four Yetis!
Deadpool: (Rips the scene for a moment) WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!! What's with the LazyTown song? Didn't you delete an episode for having one, ya goddurn hypocrite?
Scroopfan: It's not the same as the original song, Deadpool! It's a remix made for the DBZA videos, the recent one at that. I just HAD to use it.
Deadpool: I don't CARE if it's of a... Wait... Isn't that episode supposed to be in the future? Isn't it still Christmas?
MSM:... (Grabs a Chimichanga) GET THE CHIMICHANGA, DEADPOOL! (He acts like a dog as he threw it off)
Scroopfan: Thanks for keeping that idiot from asking too much.
MSM: My pleasure. But seriously, why's that song here?
Scroopfan: Like I said, it's a remix made for the recent DBZA episode, it's not the same as if I took the original and just use it.
MSM: Oh, hell yeah, saw the episode recently, too. But... What you're basically saying is that you can upload a kid's song... As long as it's of a different composition? Heck, there's a different and more badass version of 'You Are A Pirate' sung be Alestorm.
Scroopfan: That's not nessersarly the case. I only included this because it was something made for DBZA, and like Pang Bing, it was made an exception for that.
MSM: Eh, you're right. Besides, we shouldn't spoil it for the heroes. Hey, on he plus side, they have five months of break by technicality. Let's roll again! (The episode resumed)
Yeti 1: "Wow, that african deer's tough!?"
Yeti 2: "Maybe we should help if it looks like it's not gonna be in Skun Kape's favor."
Yeti 3: "Well yeah, I mean, who's gonna stop us either way?"
Icky: (Hiding)... Is that 'We Are Number One'? (A flash was seen)... Wow! Nice music!
Gazelle: (She continued fighting off the Yetis)
Iago: Wow! She's kicking their baboon asses!
Duke: THAT'S SPECIESIST! *Slap* AH!
Sandy: SHUT UP! We're supposed to be quiet!
Kunch: (Telepathically) So, when do we come in?
(Pang Bing): Eh, Deadpool ended up luring Lu Kai way. So, he's gotta try and get him back. But hopefully let's wait until these Yetis are done.
Mantis: Well, they'd better hurry up.
Big Blood: Yeah! I'm itchin' to rassle some-
Xiyi: Big Blood? It's 'rustle'. R-U-S-T-
Big Blood: I say it that way to raise morale and sound more badass to my fellow leeches. YOU KNOW THAT!
Xiyi: I know, just making sure.
Big Blood: One of the others did.
Ling: Just stay in post. We must wait for the signal to attack.
Gazelle: (She managed to beat all four of the Yetis until their butts were sticking up in the air by the time of the song climax, Icky taking a photo on his iPhone)
Icky: (Snickers)
Yeti 1: "..... OKAY, NOW I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO (The Other Heroes come out)"
Icky: (Dubbed as the guy) MORTAL KOMBAAT!! (This music played)
All Yetis: "OH SHI-"
Mortal Kombat Theme Song Original
Yeti #1: (Screams like a girl as they attacked, the music playing in the background)
Meanwhile
Lu Kai: (He charged in after Deadpool)
Deadpool:... Is that Mortal Kombat playing?
(YB Deadpool): YAY, THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC!!
Deadpool started to hop and dance around like a swan ballerina as Lu Kai tried to crush him!
Lu Kai: "HOLD STILL, YOU INCREDABILY OUT OF PLACE FREAK?! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH YOU STAYED IN YOUR 4CHAN LOGIC INFESTED READERY YOU CALLED YOUR OWN COMIC SERIES?!"
Deadpool stopped.
WB Deadpool: "Ohhh, he's asking for it now! Time for, SUPER ANNOYENCE?!"
YB Deadpool: "SUCK IT TOO HIM?!"
Deadpool: (He did so as he teleported when he attacked with his blasts) MISSED ME! WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!! (As he kept teleporting) I, HATE, YOUR... (He teleported behind him in his cockpit)... Dumb face! (He punched him) OH-HO, MY KIDNE- (The Ma-Chi Titan threw him out) SH*******************************TTT!! (He crashed into a lone cabin and faced another person taking a shower who screamed) OKAY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS, WHO SHOWERS DURING A VILLAIN ATTACK?!?
(WB Deadpool): I think we should be more confused about a cabin in the middle of nowhere.
(YB Deadpool): In winter no less.
Deadpool: (He was smacked off by the woman, and knocked into Ma-Chi Titan's punch as he was flung all the way into the sky) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Lu Kai: (Waits for 30 seconds)... Jeez, I didn't know this thing was too stro-
Deadpool: (He took out the same rocket-launcher-like weapon he used to nearly kill Taskmaster in Ultimate Spider-Man) Open up WIDE, Luki! (He fired as it left a large dust cloud)
(YB Deadpool): Did we get him?
(WB Deadpool): Dude, we have to keep Hai Hoi and the Orb alive, and he's obviously too sturdy for that. Why do you bother asking?
(YB Deadpool): I'm an optimist!
Deadpool: You're an idiot! (Lu Kai recovered) Besides, that was just to rile him up! (He moons Lu Kai) COME AND GET THESE TWO TABLES, TOUGH GUY!!!
Lu Kai: DON'T YOU DARE DISPLAY YOUR RUMP AT THE FUTURE EMPEROR OF ALL UNIVERSES!!! (He fired a powerful beam as he appeared wounded and scorched)
Deadpool: OOOHHHH... YOU GOT ME!!... (He grew everything back and healed) NOT! Though it might sound weird, I kinda like the last arm better. Had good aim. Oh well, gonna have to break this baby in.
Lu Kai: I WILL END YOOOOU!!!
Deadpool: You'll fall flat on your ass trying. (They continued fighting until Deadpool leaded him back to the heroes, as they finished beating much of the Yetis)
Deadpool: GUYS!! TITAN ALERT!! TITAN ALERT!!!
Gazelle: Speaking of which, guys, I think it's our cue!
The heroes but Mantis, Zhu and Kunch are left.
Deadpool ran off with Lu Kai after him!
Lu Kai: "COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A, HAIRLESS APE THING?!"
Deadpool: MAN!!
Lu Kai: WHATEVER!!
Mantis, Zhu, Kunch, and Spider got into the titan un-noticed.
Inside Ma-Chi Titan
Mantis:... That was too easy!
Spider: Yeah. Good thing my web dissolves pretty easily.
Outside Ma-Chi Titan
Patrick: (As they were fighting, the acidic dissolving web got into his eyes) AAAHHH!!! THERE'S WEB IN MY EYES!!! (He fell in agony) AHH!!!
Inside Ma-Chi Titan
Zhu: So what do we do?
Kunch: More importantly, where are those 'magic antibodies'?
Spider: I think that would be THEM! (He points at a clockwork-like area is seen as Small Toy Chinese Soldiers rose from generators and marched along.
Mantis: "..... Well DOI!"
Zhu:... You'd think they'd look a bit more badass than this. Blue astral figures, energetic anomalies, baseless beasts, anything except... Silly-looking toy Chinese sol- (They armed themselves wickledly with powerful offensive energy) CHINESE JESUS!!! (They dodged)
Mantis: And they just BECAME badass.
Kunch: "And YOU just HAD to provoked them Zhu."
Zhu: "I DIDN'T THINK THEY WOULD REACT LIKE THAT?!"
Spider: WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!?
Zhu: I DUNNO, I THOUGHT THEY'D ACT LIKE I ASSUMED ANTIBODIES WOULD. ONLY ACT WHEN THE THREAT DOES!
Mantis:... Really?
Zhu: HEY, DON'T BLAME ME, WE'VE HARDLY SEEN MACHINERY!!
Spider:... He got us there.
Mantis: "Let's just fight these things?!" (They did as the antibodies fought in similar speeds to the Bebe robots in Kim Possible) S***!
Kunch: AUUAGH!!
Spider: PHYAAHHK, MY SILK GLANDS!!
Zhu: JAAHH!! (The three were overwhelmed)...
Mantis:... Ow! Gazelle? Is there anyway to beat these things?
(Gazelle): (Through their minds) Well, given that they are by technicality security measures, the best way to beat them is by short-circuiting them.
Kunch: WITH WHAT?!?
(Gazelle): What about water?
Kunch: AND HOW WOULD THAT HELP?!? WATER AT OUR SCALE IS JUST LITTLE GLOBS OF DEW THAT WE INSECTS PRACTICALLY USE LIKE WATER BALO-... Wow, I just answered my own question there.
(Gazelle): Did you bring any water of your own?
Kunch: Just because I'm a water beetle, it doesn't mean I bring water ALL the time.
Spider:... I could've stored some in my webbing, but after that blow to my gland-gonads, I don't think I can use any at the moment! DAMN! Ohhhh!
(Gazelle): In that case, there should be water tanks not too far from your location that, like many machines, are used to provide a coolant. Get to the cold water, and use it against the antibodies.
Kunch: Got it!
Outside Ma-Chi Titan
Lu Kai still chased Deadpool as looney tune like antics began to accure!
Deadpool: MEEP MEEP! (He kept dodging with his teleporter)
Lu Kai: WHO THE F*** ARE YOU?!? NOTHING SEEMS TO BE KILLING YOU!
Deadpool: (He gives him his intro video until he interrupted by stepping on his brain)
Lu Kai: That was a rhetorical question.
Deadpool grew hus head back!
Deadpool: "Ya know, if I was allowed to, I'd turned ya into beef by now, chuckles!"
Lu Kai: "(Grabs Deadpool) First of all, calling me "Chuckles" would imply that I laugh too much, so the insulting nickname doesn't even make sense in context. Second, your threat of doing such is meaningless as long as I have the Ma-Chi Titan!"
Suddenly, other Deadpools appear and made Lu Kai freaked out and dropped the original!
Lu Kai: "WHAT BENDING OF REALITY IS THIS?!"
Deadpools: "The fun kind!"
The Deadpools run away whooping as Lu Kai still chased them after regaining his composure.
The heroes still hid.
Gazelle: "(Sighs), Deadpool is not making it easy for us to do this plan."
Pang Bing: "But perhaps it's for the best. As far as Lu Kai knows, we ran off in defeat. If we tried to intervine, he would suspect something isn't right."
Gazelle: "....That's actselly a good point. We'll leave Deadpool to his devices."
Inside the Ma-Chi Titan.
Mantis, Spider, and Zhu fought off the Toys with the water they just acquired from the water coolant while Kunch was reading the sign.
Kunch: "Okay, let's see.... Right leg is to the south, Left Leg is south, Right Arm is west, and Left Arm is..... Weast? I, think one of the yeties made a predictable grammer error."
Mantis: "(Holding off a toy soldier) I'M SURE THE WRITER MEANT EAST?!"
Kunch: "Ah, right. Chi Power Core is in Chest cavity, in the north-west, while the Magic control center is at the head, further north-west. Ya know, it's very convinent about this sign being here, guys. I think it was made back when this thing was under construction."
Zhu: Ugh! It's probably for the antibodies here. They probably didn't wanna get lost.
Mantis: And how COULD they get lost considering they're machines?
Zhu: I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MACHINES, OKAY?!? Let's just get to the Chi core, free Hai Hoi, and get this over with!
Spider:... They keep kickin' me in the glands! WHY?!? WHY DO THEY KEEP KICKING ME IN THE GLANDS?!?
(Pang Bing): Guys, I wanted to tell you that you not only have the percussions of freeing Hai Hoi to worry about. There ARE antibodies designed to alert Lu Kai if there is a breach.
(Gazelle): A 'security breach' if you will. Don't let them see you. They will automatically send a distress signal to Lu Kai in a millisecond before you can stop them.
Spider: AW, GLAND-GASMS!!!
Zhu: Oh, NOW you tell us!
(Pang Bing): I told you before. You must've forgot.
Zhu:... (Sighs) What do they look like?
(Gazelle): A toy soldier head with alarms all-over it. (They saw one arriving)
Kunch: Oh, water mites! (They hid as the alarm antibody used a beam of sight with inverted color, as it scanned the area)
Alarm Antibody:... DNA signature identified as: Master Mantis, Zhu, and Kunch. Must aler- (It was destroyed by a blob of dew)
Kunch:... Okay, from now on, everybody don't leave any traces behind.
Mantis: No s***! If those things have UV sighting, then we need to be careful. (They head out)
Later...
Mantis: (They arrived at the containment ball of Hai Hoi as there were entire armies of alarm antibodies and infantry antibodies everywhere)... Oh, great!
Kunch: How do we get past THAT?!?
Zhu sees a plumping pipe....
Zhu: ".... Let's make it rain."
Mantis:... Ah, I see. Clever mantis. How, though?
Kunch:... I think I my have an idea. My species is supposed to have digestive enzymes in our bites. Perhaps if I infect many parts of the pipes, I can spread the water all over by melting the- (Zhu pulled a switch that activated the sprinkler function, causing them all to short-circuit)... I guess that works, too.
Hai Hoi was unconjustus.
Mantis: "And it looks like Hai Hoi's in sleep mode, folks. So, Gazelle and Pang told us that smashing this thing will blow up the Titan before we can save her, so, we'd better find the chargers, stabilizers, and absorbers."
Zhu: "So that means we're on our own?"
Mantis: "Not that she would be much help. I bet Lu Kai would've been smart enough to not let her know anything just in case mind readers are involved. We're on our own either way."
Zhu: Figures.
Kunch: "I know, right?"
Mantis: Well, we'd better get searching. I'll search for the absorbers. Zhu will find the stabilizers, and Kunch will find the chargers. We'll signal each other when we're ready to disable them in order.
Kunch: And how will we do that if they're not in eye-sight?
Spider: I think I can try and provide that. My glands are out, but that doesn't mean I ca't jump around and provide surveillance.
Mantis: Good! We have a plan, then! Now let's split! (They did so)
Outside Ma-Chi Titan
Lu Kai still chased around Deadpool!
Lu Kai: "HOLD STILL, YOU FURLESS CHIMP?!"
Deadpool: YEESH, I KNOW WE'RE 99.99% SIMILAR, BUT AT LEAST NOT SHOW ANIMAL-STYLE RACISM HERE!!
(Gazelle): But I guess it's not inaccurate.
Deadpool: STAY OUT OF THIS!!!
Lu Kai: Now hold still!
Deadpool: Dude, you're wasting your time. If you haven't noticed, I am literally unkillable.
Lu Kai: Oh, wait! I must ask... Where are your Lodger comrades?
Deadpool: Wouldn't YOU like to know- (He was grabbed)
Lu Kai: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Deadpool: "Dude, I'm pretty much on my own when they skipped dodge! I swear!"
Lu Kai: "..... Now, I know I'm one to boast how magnifisent I am, I mean, how can I not? I'm magnifisently superior in everyway! That however, does NOT indicate that I'm some kind of self-absorbed imbacile?! When I was chasing you I noticed a shocking shortage of a Yeti army?! You honestly think think I wouldn't notice such an absince?"
Deadpool: "Well you didn't noticed that I freed certain prisoners and took your sister and spies, so I assumed that you weren't very (Gets squeesed harder) Observent!"
Lu Kai: "I was priorly informed of that when Skun discovered his brothers' incompidence, thank you very much?! And that's something I'll correct in due time! First, I want to take care of more, intermediate matters?! WHERE, IS, THE, LOUGERS, AND VARIOUS COMPANIONS?!"
???: "Hey, credit where credit's due, it's nice to have a bad guy who pays attention."
Lu Kai turns to see the arriving Lougers and friends.
Icky: "Some of our critics and MSM will fine ya a breath of fresh air after the many prior episodes on how quickly we handled friends, right next to Kyptonia, Master Equinox, Gen I Side, that Tailspin Shere Khan recolor Tyler, Pang Bing, initially, Zesty up until Hynopa showed up, and Overlord Strangle barring Deadpool's little rage episode about the script."
Lu Kai: "..... I'll give you bunch credit for managing to, delay my plans. But once Zang Shu completes my chi warrior army, you will NOT be so capable?! But I would've already slapped you annoyences away by the time they show up! I-"
Suddenly, the Ma Chi Titan began to glitch as the powershorces become unstable, the staff hurting Lu Kai!
Lu Kai: "AHHHHHHHHHH?! My, machine?! IS THIS ANOTHER TRICK?!"
Suddenly, the staff was launghed out of the head area as Lu Kai freaked out, losing complete control of the Ma Chi titan, as the chest orb rolls out and crashes, freeing a still knocked out and extremely weaken and unmoving Hai Hoi!
Mantis, Zhu, Kunch and Spider all flew out!
Mantis: "FEEL THE BUGS?!"
Spider: "ARATNID?!"
Mantis: "SORRY?!"
The Ma Chi titan began to fall apart as Lu Kai screamed as it fell down!
BLAM?!
Dust settled, as the Ma-Chi Titan was in ruins.
Lu Kai gotten up, saw the ruins, and sees the ruins of his dreams!
Deadpool was seen making the hand of the Ma Chi give the finger as he immaturely laughed.
Deadpool: "Sweet."
Lu Kai: "My...... My titan. (The specter fell right next to him!) My..... My dynasty. My....... MY FUTURE?! (CRIES PAHTHICLY?!)"
The Heroes were seen.
Gazelle: "..... I kinda feel conflicted to either send him to jail, or get him ice cream."
Icky: "Oh trust, he'll get to the arbertary "Villainious Meltdown" scene soon enough. Trust me, you inconvinence a guy like him hard enough, he'll REALLY lose it from there."
Lu Kai switched from sadness to bitter and unrelenting anger!
Lu Kai: "........ I, WILL NOT, BE DENIED MY DESTENY?!"
Icky: "And here we go."
Lu Kai quickly grabbed the spector!
Lu Kai: "I STILL CONTROL THE SPACE ORB?! I STILL HAVE MAGIC?! (LOOKS AT THE UNCONJUSTUS HAI HOI)...... ONLY NOW, I WILL MAKE IT THAT I CAN CONTROL CHI, ONE WAY, OR THE OTHER?! (Fires a magic ray that grabs Hai Hoi's body and brings her closer!)"
Master Dolphin: "HAI HOI?! (CHARGES AFTER LU KAI, BUT A MAGIC FORCEFILED BLOCKS HIM OFF?!) DAHHH?!"
Mafan: "MASTER?! (CHARGES FORTH BUT GETS KNOCKED BACK AS WELL?!) D'OH?!"
Jiang: "BROTHER! (Comes to Mafan's aide)"
Snow Hog: "LU KAI?! STOP?! COMBINEING MAGIC AND CHI LIKE THAT WILL HAVE DIRE CONSINQUENCES?!"
Lu Kai: "FOR YOU MAYBE?! BUT FOR ME?! ALL I AM GETTING, IS WHAT I RIGHTFULLY DESERVED?! INDISBUTABLE POWER?!"
Gazelle tries to destroy the sheild, but it's power exhausted Gazelle, and she looked in utter shock as the spector began to absorb Hai Hoi's very being, and swallowed her right into the spector, as Lu Kai began to become strong!
Jiang: "..... Hai Hoi....... No......"
Lu Kai turned mad with power and laughed maniacly!
Lu Kai: "AND WHY STOP THERE?! I CAN BECOME, MY OWN MA CHI TITAN?!"
Lu Kai used his magic and chi to began fusing with the wreckage of the Ma-Chi titan as he laughed crazilly!
Twilight: "Lu Kai has fallen victim of power-madness from the chi-magic combination he absorbed! The power is corrupting him?!"
Pang Bing: "He was already corrupt. That power is only making him worse."
The Fuzing Process was complete, as Lu Kai litterally became one with the Ma-Chi Titan, this time, with his smug head on it!
Lu Kai: "This, POWER, is WONDERFUL?! But I, NEED, MORE?! I MUST GET MORE POWER?!"
Rainbow Dash: "OH GREAT?! NOW HE'S GONE TIREK ON US?!"
Lu Kai looks at the heroes.
Lu Kai: "YOU, ALL, REEK OF POWER?! I, WANT IT?!"
Tigress: "Well your gonna have to fight for it, monster?!"
Lu Kai: "HA! Monster? No..... I am more of a.... Uh....."
Lord Shen: "Complete abomination?"
Pinkie: "An elderich horror?"
Trixie: "A lovecraftian nightmare?"
Iago: "A genuine demon?"
Kolwalski: "An un-naterol abmorition?"
Lu Kai: "...... LIKE THE DEVIL?!"
Icky:... Oh, great, he's also a Broly power-
Lu Kai punched the ground hard enough and sent the heroes, even Gazelle, flying and scattered across the area!
Icky: "(In a humorious position)..... House."
Gazelle got up and was wobbly.
Gazelle: "..... His power...... Is unbelieveable."
Lu Kai stand in the center of his destruction.
Lu Kai: "NOW, PREPARE TO BECOME ONE, WITH MY POWER?!"
Lu Kai's chest began to sprout magic-chi tenticles that entangled all the heroes but Pang Bing!
Pang Bing: "GAZELLE?!"
Gazelle: "It's gonna have to be up to you now, Pang Bing! Your our only hope?!"
Deadpool: "SO NO PRESSURE, RIGHT?!"
Twilight: "We have faith in you, Pang Bing! We know you can save everyone! You just need to believe?!"
Twilight echoed the word believe as she and the other heroes were absorbed right into Lu Kai's chest!
Pang Bing: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!"
Pang Bing fell down and started to pound the ground.
Lu Kai started to laugh uncontrolably as he approuched Pang Bing.
Chapter 6: Pang Confronts Lu Kai/Those Finishing Touches[]
Pang Bing: "...... Sisters....... Gazelle...... Don Minong........ Mother Orb...... I....... I failed you all..... I'm..... I'm sorry.... (Cries)....."
???: "Pang Bing....."
Pang Bing: "..... Don?"
Don: (He showed up as a spirit)... It is me! Oogway and Mufasa came to me in the Spirit Realm to offer you advice. You mustn't give up because Lu Kai has proven more powerful than you imagined.
Pang Bing: But when fused with that thing, he's practically capable of absorbing magic AND Chi, and is immune to BOTH! I don't think-
Don: Look, Pang! There's STILL ways around those defenses! Use the knowledge you have of your newly-acquired allies and use their weaknesses against him. Absorbing them means he's vulnerable to those same weaknesses.
Pang Bing: I don't know much about them!
Don: I'm sure you do. You must.
Pang Bing: But how can I overwhelm him when he's got all that power?
Don:... Because the world depends on it. Well, that and that lunk head of a Lu Kai spawn won't leave ya alone either way, so, you kinda have to fight him anyway. As Oggway has said.... You must... Believe! (He left back to the Spirit Realm as Lu Kai was near Pang Bing)
Lu Kai: (He cackles ominously and wildly as his chest glowed)
Pang Bing: (Thinking of all the rotten things Lu Kai II said in the past, got a determine face)... LU KAI! IT'S TIME I HONORED MY FAMILY NAME!! I- (Her words were faint from far away)
Lu Kai:... What?
Pang Bing:... (Sighs, and augments her voice) I SAID, IT'S TIME I HONORED MY FAMILY NAME!!
Lu Kai:... Yeah, no!
Lu Kai tried to target her as this music played, yet she teleported multiple times.
Zen Ball Master - Track 15 - Kung Fu Panda 2 Soundtrack
Lu Kai: "WHAT THE- HEY?! HOLD STILL?! OHHHH, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN?!"
Pang Bing: You do know *Poof* That I know a LOT *Poof* Since your ancestor *Poof* Rendered me *Poof* into a villain! *Poof* I've become stronger than I was before. *Poof* So, I will not let you continue where he left off. He got what he deserved *Poof* And so will YOU! (The music climaxed as she got in and kicked him to the ground)
Lu Kai: URRGH! DIRTY KITTEN!!! (Continues to fight Pang Bing on his own)
Pang Bing: It's over, Lu Kai! I'm not letting you go any further like I did with Lu Kai II!
Lu Kai: (Cackles) I am far powerful than you can ever imagine! With the power of the unstoppable heroes within me, you don't stand a chance!
Pang Bing: You think even THEY are beyond defeat? They've failed many times before. They failed to rescue the Princesses of Heart, they failed to rescue people from being killed, and they were put in hopeless situations that they required paradoxes to get out of. Sure it sounds like cheating, but it proves their resourcefulness.
Lu Kai: Oh? And you happen to know a weakness in them that you can take advantage of?
Pang Bing: "I did ALOT of prior reshearch to the misfits back when I served Mothlock. And the sponge you absorbed has the most expanded selection of weaknesses."
Lu Kai: "LIKE WHAT?!"
Pang Bing summoned forth a Spongebob world Jelly fish the flew around.
Lu Kai: "Is that suppose to to- wait, what the- (Lu Kai's head turned into Spongebob's head on Lu Kai's Ma Chi Titan body)"
Spongebob: "OH! A JELLY FISH! (CONJURES A GIANT CHI-MAGIC JELLYFISHING NET) (CHASES THE JELLY FISH) LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!"
Pang Bing giggled for abit.
Pang Bing: "I wish I thought of that sooner."
Lu Kai: (Gets his normal head back) HOW IS THAT CNIDARIAN EVEN LIVING?!?
Pang Bing: It's an astral image of one. But SpongeBob wouldn't care, as long as he does his favorite hobby.
Lu Kai: MUST... CONTROL... MYSELF!!! IT'S... PANG'S... UNBIRTHDAY! (He started gaining a slight ounce of control as he started attacking Pang, while jumbling back and forth between March Hare and Mad Hatter)
March Hare/Mad Hatter: A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU! (They blasted Pang Bing out of existence)
Lu Kai:... Hah! You think you're the only one who knows them? TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME?! As a part of me, I have their memories. Isn't THAT a kick in the he..... Oh why amn I talking like that?! I think I basicly destroyed that cat- (Pang Bing reappeared and kicked him in the back of the head in her Hero's Spiritual Spell)... Ow.
Pang Bing: Nice try! I won't be fooled by that! Even if you said I stole Mr. Krabs' money, it won't be of any avail.
Lu Kai:... How about... THIS! (He uses Shen's anger to fuel his abilities, as they fought for an extended amount of time until it gets exhausted.) Gees, ya think that angry bird would be an enturnal pool of rage!
Pang Bing: "But he has his OWN weakness! (Conjures up a magical naked Celestia clone)."
Celestia: "(Seductively) Ohhhh Shen."
Lu Kai's head turns into Shen's!
Shen made a peacock cry!
Lu Kai regains control with his head back!
Lu Kai: "DAHHHH?! ABSORBING THESE MORONS WAS A TERRORABLE MISTAKE?! (He coughs them up)... What good is their additional power if it's marred by annoying weaknesses?! That tears it?! I'm doing what I should've done! (He begins to charge himself) Prepare to suffer... The power of Chi-Magic!
Pang Bing:... NO!! YOU CAN'T OVERLOAD THE UNSTABLE POWER OF CHI AND MAGIC WITHIN YOU!! IT'S TOO DANGEROUS, BOTH FOR YOU, AND US!!!
Lu Kai:... Worth it! (He unites them as Pang Bing braced herself)
Gazelle: PANG! (She pushed her away as a powerful energetic shockwave was the end result, the music reaching the soft tone, as many people were able to survive thanks to Pang using her power to protect them, yet only barely, and the resulting blast sent her magic into flux as she slumped to the ground)
Squidward: (Scorched)... Too bad that didn't kill me.
Fluttershy: (She was weakened with watery eyes)... Owie.
Deadpool: (Much of him was disintegrated as it took a while to regenerate)...
Lord Shen:... At least... He's able to shut up! (Crack) OW!
Gazelle: (She was abit burn in places.) Ay dios mio. That guy can REALLY take alot out of you. Even to the Uniter.
Pang Bing:... (She approached her)... Gazelle!... You... You didn't have to do that!
Gazelle:... I had to. Otherwise... You wouldn't be able to finish what you started. You cannot lose! Your mother needs this as much... As you do! It's... It's up to you now!
Pang Bing:... But... But I'm drained!
Gazelle:... This will help! (She transferred her energy to her)
Pang Bing: (She was reinvigorated as she passed out at the last moment. Upon seeing this, she looks in anger at the proud Lu Kai)... This is for you... Gazelle! (She kissed her, as much as she didn't want to, and as Pang and him went face-to-face as he cackled and everyone was watching)... I'm going to make you pay in blood for what you did to everyone!
Lu Kai: Whatever you say, gaybo! Tis be'th, your funeral! (He charged up his strongest attacks and threw them)
Pang Bing:... (She remembered the words of everyone who aided her as Lu Kai fired his beam, and upon reaching her Hero's Spiritual Spell again, she went into a far more Equinox-like form, as she rebounded the attack, surprising everyone)...
Lu Kai was surprised!
Lu Kai: "WHA, WHAT THE?! THAT WAS A HEAVY HITTER YOU, YOU-?!"
Pang Bing: And for the record, I'm pansexual! Blame my behavior around Gazelle to how I was born. It's a typical downside of magicly creating children through coping the biological mother!
Lu Kai: "... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?! HEAD IN THE GAME, LU KAI, HEAD, IN THE GAME?! (Gets more strong attacks and starts using them)"
Pang Bing: (She continued to rebound the attacks multiple times)
Po: YEAH! GO, PANG!!!
Lu Kai: (She was ready for his last attack)... WE'LL SEE HOW YOU STAND UP, TO EVERYTHING, I'VE, GOT!!! (He overloaded himself and unleashed a final devastating attack as Pang absorbed the energy and struggled with it's power, unleashing it with a new Yin-Yang-themed Equinox attire of her own)
Pang Bing:... Say your prayers! (She rebounded the energy)
Lu Kai: NooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (He took the hit as a massive blast of energy struck him, as the resulting energy caused him to be weakened, and thus cough out not just the Mother Orb, but also Hai Hoi, the excess magic and Chi, and the Ma-Chi Titan wreckage as Lu kai returned to normal, battle-damaged in his regel garb and one of the horns became crooked)... (Coughs)... (He saw the results)... I... I don't understand!... How could you do this?!?
Pang Bing: "Well, magic is a difficult beast to explain. Well one starts by having ample amounts of coninstraction and processing the right engery, next-"
Lu Kai: "I didn't meant HOW you did your attacks, pussy cat!? I meant..... How, did you find peace? If history serves me well, you were screwed over by alot of people. My ansister Lu Kai the Second, the father of an old witch market boss, more or less a moth alien warlord, that panda, even the Uniter managed to ruin your plans! And yet, you managed to screw me over as if that NEVER happened to you! You, you were scarred badly when my ansister took your family from you?!"
Pang Bing: "Scars heal in due time."
Lu Kai: "Actselly, they more like fade away-"
Pang Bing: "I don't mean physical scars. One should never let the past dictate what they do to shape the future. All that does, is tamper with real growth, and make history go in a metathorical loop to dishastor."
Lu Kai: "BAH! That's hilariously rich coming from someone who was embittered by magic hate and did the same plan, TWICE?!"
Pang Bing: "True. I am the last one who should advocate this kind of thing, all things considered. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't make the attempt to change. Redemption is a possable path."
Lu Kai: "That's sweet and all... (Pulls out a sword) BUT NOT FOR ME?! After all I tried to go through, the imperial family WILL had me exicuted?! And they will do it without Lu Kang's approval?! So you may as well save them the trouble, and finish what you started and end the Lu Kai line with me?!"
Pang Bing: "An oppertunity the old me would've taken. But the new Pang Bing will not indulge your desperate bid to avoid the imperial wrath."
Lu Kai: "THAT'S THE THING, WITCH?! I congured an imperial city?! That's an automatic death row ticket to the exicutioner's ax?! My bloodline are so hated that even my sister would be made to rot in jail, even when she's the sweetest girl a brother like me can ever asked for?! And no, it's not because she's mute! Though it helps in the grand sceame of things, it's because she never judged me for what I did?! But others, vocally or otherwise, will?! They'll only see me as a continuation of Lu Kai II's reign?! This is a world that only respects might and force?!"
Pang Bing: "True. But they respect it more if it's used benevolently. That was your ansister's true mistake."
Lu Kai: "And my bloodline is prosicuted because of it?! If the world will only see me as a monster, then I rather DIE AS ONE?! (Aims to kill Pang Bing with his sword as he charged!)"
Pang Bing: WHOA! (She dodged multiple times until he scratched her)
Fidget: Hey, no che-
Banzai: Fidge, don't make him go Shadow Fagin on you.
Lu Kai: (He throws everything he had at Pang, yet she uses her Hero's Spiritual Form to get ahead of him) NOT THIS TIME, YOU- (She tricks him into causing a tree to collapse on him)... AHHGH! I-I CAN'T MOVE!!! I can't feel my legs?! YETIS?! HELP?!
???: "Don't bother trying to call for them."
The Yeti Elder arrived.
Lu Kai: "MASTER HIMA?!"
Icky: "Ohhh, I get it! Like "HIMALAYAS?!" Eh, eh, I totally got that!"
Master Hima: "I have regained the leadership of the yeties from my undisapleaned son and demoted him to the status of omega. Your power over them, is over. I hereby banished you from the yeti cave of which you bemirched by turning it into a cowskull enterence and having my people making this, now ruined machine. May this be the only time the Ma-Chi titan has ever risen."
Hai Hoi: "What about Zang?"
Master Hima: "He has already bordered up the yeti cave on Tibet with Lu Kai's defences."
Hai Hoi: "I will deal with Zang from there. I owe it to Mafan and the others for, my mistranslated understanding."
Lu Kai's now former lair.
Zang Shu was already defeated by Hai Hoi after what looked like an intense battle.
Zang Shu: "..... Ohhhhh, rats....."
The Other Chi warriors kneeled before their rightful leader.
Later, back outside.
Lu Kai was dragged before Mah Jong and Fu Wi who ere freed by the resurgence of Hai Hoi's control.
Guard 1: "He seems incapable to get up on his feet, sir."
Mah Jong: "Well, it's offitcal yo. The loser's handicap. He can't survive sur gum in being lame like a horse you!"
Fu Wi: "Well he's also too pitiful for an exicution! It be too shameful to end the life of this now miserable legless fool. What are we to do with him?"
Kun Lao came in.
Kun Lao: "Perhaps I, can offer a solution."
Master Ling's oasis.
Lu Kai, in a whell-chair like The Superintendent from legends of awesomeness, was seen being pushed by Liu Kai and Cubao, who are noticingly very close to eachother and seem to be bonding.
Cubao: "Cubao, really like you."
Pi Pi Zhu and Mafan see this.
Mafan: "Our little Cubao's growing up and falling in love with sisters of super-villains.
Pi Pi Zhu: "Yeah, our trio's down to 2!"
Master Ling's with the others.
Master Ling: "With Lu Kai in his vulerable state, he can no longer be able to even be a threat to himself. My monistairy will be more then happy to keep Lu Kai and Liu Kai here, away from a judgemental world."
Hai Hoi: "Indeed. Though, now that my own sancuary is discovered, me and my students need a new place to practice our ways in peace now. The now former Elder Zang Shu exposed our ways to outsiders."
Master Ling: "Then I welcome you to live here with us. The Gobi is more warm and less bothered by travelers then the Himulayas."
Hai Hoi: "I think I would like that, Ling. Though I'll miss the history sprites' company, it's for the best their temple goes back to being only their home."
Master Ling: "It'll take time to make the approbeate adjustments, but you'll find life here to be wonderful."
Lady Yange arrived to Mafan and Zhu.
Lady Yange: ".... You boys did more good then I had given you credit for. My personal apologies on behalf of Hai Hoi. Be made aware that Zang will be stripped of his chi powers and left as a normal rat already bound to Sure Gum. And against all odds, you aided in the downfall of Lu Kai and restored the Yetis back to peace, which a certain four will now serve as our, custonian staff as part of a due disaplene act by Master Hima."
Water splash ad crash was heard, as Skun, Ku Whip, and Si and Du have seen bumbled over-eachother, mainly by Si and Du being stupid!
Si: "Hey, smell my finger! (Du does that)"
Du: "AWWWW, DUDE, NASTY?!"
Si and Du laughed!
Ku Whip: "Uncle Hima REALLY got us good, Skun!"
Skun: "TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW, IDIOTIC COUSIN?!"
Mafan and Zhu laughed!
Mafan: "Best, end result, ever!"
Jiang came in.
Jiang: "Mafan...... I just wanna say..... I'm sorry I didn't believed you. You had been known to cause trouble and I assumed that-"
Mafan: "Look, sis.... It's cool! If I was just as picture perfect as you, I would've had more credability then a guy litterally named "Dirty Rat" in Chinese. For now on, getting even with Lord Khan is no longer my gang's sole primary goal. I mean, make no mistake, if I had a chance to kick Khan's butt, I'm not gonna pass out on it, believe me.... But there's more to life then obcessing over the past and the guy who did something you, and that it's better to carry on with it."
Jiang: "...... Mafan, I'm proud of you for saying that. Though, I figured you be more thrilled to be abit closer to getting a shot at Lord Khan."
Mafan: "Oh please, peg me no fool! I'm ESTATIC for it! Khan is likely to have known about Lu Kai's little Ma-Chi titan garbage and would NO DOUBT want in on that! It's only a matter of time before-"
Jiang stopped him while giggling.
Jiang: "Now THERE'S the Mafan I grew up with it.... And cared for."
The two hugged.
Zhan came in.
Zhan: "Well, Mafan, it looks like your date with desteny arrived sooner then expected. Lord Khan is DIFFENTLY here to seek out Lu Kai from himself, and he is NOT lacking."
It was seen that a large mongolian army is seen, with Lord Khan at the lead.
Lord Khan: "MASTER LING?! NO MORE TRICKS OR NONSENSE THIS TIME?! I CAME FOR THE LU KAI WHO WEILDED THE MAGIC-CHI TITAN FOR THE NAME OF GLORIOUS MONGOLIA?! AND DON'T DARE HIDE BEHIND THE LOUGERS AND OTHER OUTSIDERS?! I WANT LU KAI NOW, OR I WILL RELEASHE THE LITTERAL AND METAHTORICAL FATHER OF ALL MONGOLIAN FIST DEMONS APAWN YOU! (A VERY GIANT URN WAS SEEN BEING DRAGGED IN)"
Duke: "THAT, IS ONE BIG POTTERY?!"
Lord Khan: "SHOULD IT BREAK, A TRUELY UNSTOPPABLE FIST DEMON SHALL BE FREE, SENDING CHINA INTO ASUNDER?! BUT YOU CAN AVOID THIS BY SURRENDERING LU KAI TO ME?!"
Master Ling arrived to Mafan.
Master Ling: "..... Consider Lord Khan, all yours."
Mafan, Zhu, Jiang, Lady Yange, and the arriving Cubao all looked at eachother.
Mafan smiled.
Mafan: ".... A'shall we?"
Zhu: "Oh-ho-ho man! I have been WAITING for this?!"
Cubao: "Let make, Khan go, bye-bye!"
Lady Yange: "I wouldn't mind a shot to make that disgrace to horses know his place."
Jiang: "(Readies the chi arrows) Just tell me where to shoot."
Lord Khan gotten impahtent from the silence.
A Yak LT arrived.
Yak LT: "Your orders sir?"
Lord Khan: ".... Release the Mongolian Fist Demon King."
Yak LT: "RELEASE THE BEAST?!"
The Mongolian Yaks began facing battering rams torwords the giant urn, aiming to break it!
Lord Khan: "LU KAI WILL BE MINE, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER?!"
???: "YO KHAN MAN?!"
Lord Khan and his yaks looked at Mafan, Jiang, Zhu, Cubao, and Lady Yange.
Mafan: "...... Remember me?"
Lord Khan: "...... The desert snake children? The brute son? The bug village king's brat? (Sees Yange)...... My........ My beloved Yange..... What...... What you all doing here?! Yange, have, have you came back for me?"
Mafan: "Yikes! Awkword infomation much, Miss Yange?"
Zhu:... So... You two know each other?
Yange: "....... (Sighs)...... Star-crossed lovers from different nations. Until the Mongolian way began to change him."
Lord Khan: "Yange, please, the mongolian way only made me STRONGER! By conguring China, we will no longer be kept apart!"
Yange: I prefer we NOT do that! I broke up with you because I do NOT wish to have our nations risk war! We've had enough of those as it is.
Mafan:... That must explain why you're so mean all the time. He must've left such an impact on you.
Yange: Making a LOT of assumptions here, frankly.
Lord Khan: Yange, don't fight it! Together, we can ensure that the crime of your country is stopped once and for all. With Lu Kai's power, I can make it possible.
Yange: You're basically asking to take his place. So, sorry, but that's not going to happen, Fist Demon or no. We both know who will win this fight. Plus, all Mongolain Fist Demons are defeated by pasifistic stragity,
Lord Khan: The King of all Fist Demons is beyond that simple weakness. (He issued the order for the battering rams to crack the giant urn and released the collossal Fist Demon King, big enough to be seen from the oasis)
Kowalski: GOOD GOLLY WOLLY!!! (The fist demon roared so loud it can even be heard in he Universes and the AUU!)
Private: (Seemingly peed)
Icky:... Where's your lemonade cup?
Private: It was DEFINITELY pee this time!
Icky: GOOD! That joke's getting old. Also.... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?!
Trixie: A KAME-AND-A-HAME-AND-A-SEND-EM-HOME-TA-MAMMY!!! (She prepares to charge the magic spell)
Gilda: NO, YOU IDIOT! (She pushes her down as the magic blast bounced across surfaces and hit one of Khan's forces in the back of his head) IT GETS STRONGER WITH PUNCHES!!!
Trixie: Do you remember the last Demon battle? Hard to dodge and fight it with a size like that! Seriously, where do these guys make those things, a factory?
Shifu: "They uncovered the giant urn of the fist demon king from an anichent underground Mongolian ruin!"
Applejack: "How in Equestia are Mafan and the Gang suppose to stop that?!"
Pinkie: "But we're in dreamworks china!"
Applejack facepalm.
Applejack: "I ain't dignifying that with a respond."
Mafan: "..... Yange..... Question....... HOW ARE WE SUPPOSE TO BEAT THOS SHADOW OF THE COLLALIUS REJECT?!"
Lord Khan: "The Fist Demon King is UNBEATABLE?! That's why it's urn had to be so giant?! Even my ansisters, INCLUDING Grandfather Genghis, were fearful of it! My dear Yange, I rather not see you suffer their fate. (Claps his hands and had Yak Soldiers drag Yange away as the Fist Demon King stares as the four and snarls)."
Mafan: "....... Jiang, since Yange's being dragged away, what're we suppose to do?"
Jiang began calulating and sees the urn pieces....
Jiang: "..... We use our chi to build the Fist Demong King back into it's prison?!"
Mafan: "Good idea?!"
The four charged off to do that!
Lord Khan: "ARMY?! DO NOT LET THE CHI MASTERS ATTHIVE THIS?! MAKE SURE THE FIST DEMONG KING KILLS THEM OFF?!"
The Yaks charged after the four!
The Heroes sees this from afar.
Gazelle: "I don't think we can let this be a private fight anymore."
Duke: Balls yeah we can't! Let's get 'em! (They fought with the heroes against the Yaks)
Deadpool: WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Beating up giant bovines! This is WAY better than cow-tipping!
(YB Deadpool): Yeah! Especially when the cows are armed. (Some Yaks in the distance aimed bows and arrows as the heroes were able to block or catch them)
Deadpool: (Moons all the archers) NEENER-NEENER!!!
Lord Khan: SOMEBODY GET THAT RED CLOWN!!!
Deadpool: I am NOT, a clown, sir!
(YB Deadpool): You kinda are in a way.
Icky: I agree with the yellow boxes.
Deadpool: Icky, for the love of God, don't indulge him. (The archers continued attacking as Deadpool and the other heroes dodged)
Mongolian Fist King: (Roars wildly and grabs Deadpool, smashing his head on the ground countless times)
Boss Wolf: Ohh!
Jumbaa: That's gotta hurt!
Pleakly: At least he grew his head back twice during this adventure.
Lord Khan: THE KING'S GONNA PLANT HIMSELF A CHATTERBOX TREE! (Cackles as Deadpool was buried deep within the sand)... Alright, who's next?
Spyro:... Deadpool better be fine. I hope that healing factor can protect him from suffocation.
Sparx: It can't protect Wolverine, so no, I doubt it can for him. He's pretty much screw- (Deadpool poked out and tripped the King down to the ground with a loud thump) AAAAAND there he is! Gracias!
Deadpool: (He opened his mask and spit out the sand)... Pleh-pleh!
Alex: Tastes bad, doesn't it?
Deadpool: Don't make me shoot you, and just get those urn pieces! I'll keep this big guy distracted!
Lord Khan: NO YOU WON'T! KING! DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RED CLOWN IN A NINJA COSTUME! Your target is the heroes trying to imprison you again! GET THEM! (The King roared and attacked)
(WB Deadpool): You know, Shen's right. You REALLY shouldn't announce your strategy like that.
Deadpool: "DON'T AGREE WITH THE MEAN PEACOCK?!"
(WB Deadpool): "Well if he didn't made a good point, then I'd be with ya all the way, but-"
Deadpool: BUT NOTHING!! I FIGHT HOWEVER I WANT!... Unless lame-ass teacher's pets expect me not to go too far. Now allow me to- (He was smacked off) SH*******************************... (He crashed off in the difference)
King: (Roars loudly)
Lord Khan: Well, at least the clown is go- (Deadpool teleported behind him and punches him in the face) AAHH!!
Deadpool: Surprise!
Lord Khan: YOU GOT SAND IN MY EYES!!!
Deadpool: And my foot in your *Kick* BALLS!
Lord Khan: (He squeaks unintelligible dialogue)
Marty: RIGHT IN THE BATTERIES!
Lord Khan: KING!! HELP!! (The King was too busy fighting the heroes to listen)... DON'T YOU F*****G IGNORE ME!!! AAHHHH- (He was punched with starry effects by Deadpool)
Mafan, his friends and Jiang rounded up the giant urn pieces.
Mafan: "Okay, do we have someone fast enough to build a giant urn around a giant Fist Demon Royalty?"
Jiang: "They'd have to be fast enough to slow down time for that to work!"
Icky: "Wait a minute. That's it! (Brings out a phone and dials it).... Hello? Tyrone? How fast can you teleport Tane back here?"
Suddenly, Tane is teleported here.
Icky: "Wow, stupid fast! (Hangs up). Okay, Tane, listen closely, I need you to go so fast, you would slow down time, so you can be able to build those giant broken Urn pieces around THAT giant big-armed monstrosity, do you think you can-"
Tane: Saynomore! (He did so as he surrounded the entire monster, using his super speed to dodge the King's attacks, and finally sealed it up) DONEZO! SOWHAT'SNEXT?!? I'MF*****GPUMPEDUP!!!
Deadpool: Actually, Speedy, we got this covered.
Tane:... Awwwwwman, whatagip! (He was teleported away)
Deadpool: Now that is what I call a SPEEDY camio! Let's just get this motherf****r into custody!
Lord Khan: HEY! I happen to think incest is very wrong, even in our time period!
Deadpool: (Slaps him) DON'T GET SMART WITH ME, YA' DUMB PLOW HORSE!!!
Lord Khan: "AND REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT HOW YOU CAN'T ARREST ME?!"
Kun Lao: "About that. (Points to the leaving Yak army)."
Lord Khan: "Wha, wah, WHERE ARE THEY GOING?!"
Kun Lao: "Word from the Mongolain Kingdom reveiled that you have been dethrowned for three humilating defeats."
Lord Khan: "WHAT?! But, the one with the alien didn't count?! I only lost to you only twice?!"
Kun Lao: Doesn't it count? Does it not?
Lord Khan: No! It doesn't!
Kun Lao: You fell asleep because of a soft-singing ball creature along side your men and the Uniter Hunter Hatetor. That, sounds like a loss to me.
Lord Khan:... YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!
Deadpool: Request granted! (He fakes him out)
Lord Khan: OKAY, OKAY, YOU CAN TAKE ME ALIVE!!!
Deadpool: That's what I thought! Now that we know we can arrest you, that's what we'll do. Lodgers? He's all yours!
Lord Khan: (As the heroes surrounded him)... Aw, mud of mongolia.
A beating later.
Lord Khan was dragged away by two Rhino soldiers.
Kun Lao: "Well, though Khan being arrested won't nessersarly be the end of China's vast disagreement with Mongolia, it is a decent enough step in the right direction."
Icky: "I think it's safe to say that all loose ends are well tied up."
Shifu: "Save, for one issue."
Imperial Palace.
The Lougers friends from their adventures arrived in the palace.
Lu Kang: "I would like to thank you all for coming here, friends of the Lougers home and abroad. We desided that there was no better way to celebrate christmas/winter harvest feast, then to celebrate them togather."
Tri-Corn: "FINALLY?!"
Lu Kang: "So without further ado, get in the palace and enjoy yourselfs, you kidders."
The folks marched right in!
Gazelle was seeing the Guests go in as she had a sad smile on her face.
Pang Bing came in.
Pang Bing: "Why must you be sad? You wouldn't want your loved ones to see you like this, now would you?"
???: "Gazelle?"
Gazelle turned to see Hecktor.
Hecktor: "..... I do believe that this, is a long time coming."
Hecktor stepped away to reveil Gazelle's tiger family, and her biological family in patent outfits.
Gazelle smiled and ran to them and hugged them.
Pang Bing smiled.
Gazelle looked at Pang Bing....
Gazelle: "..... I, am so, gonna return the favor."
Pang Bing: "We'll worry about that in due time. Now, there's a feast waiting, I hunger!"
The group leave as Icky was seen with Gricky.
Gricky: "....You got yourself a nice family, Icky."
Icky: "Family? But, they haven't arrived yet. Dad was ALWAYS terriable at traffic. That was dad for ya. But Merlin said he'll soon enough-"
Gricky: "I mean..... What you got now."
Icky: "..... Oh..... You mean..... The Shell Lougers?"
Gricky: "Yeah. Sometimes, family is more then just because of blood or that fancy DNA stuff. It's where the heart is. And it's diffently here."
Icky: "..... Thanks Granny, that..... That means alot to me. (He hugs Gricky.) Now let's hurry up and get to that SWEET food!"
Icky and Gricky left.
Deadpool was seen prepareing Xun Zhong as a roasted fish.
Deadpool: "And finally, my own chrismas treat. Roast Ala Or-Range War Criminal. Now with just a pitch of spice."
Deadpool unknowingly picks up a vial of his dna instead and douses it onto Xun Zhong, only to notice the color.
Deadpool: "Oddso. I don't remember spice looking like science stuff. (Looks at the vial and gives our cartoonish bugeyes with an AWOOOGA sound effect)........ Shit."
Suddenly, Xun Zhong gets covered in tumors and awakes screaming!
Deadpool screams like a girl!
Xun Zhong: "WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO ME?! (LEAPS OFF OF THE GRILL AND LANDS ABOUT, FLOPPING IN TYPICAL FISH-OUT-OF-WATER FASTON, BEFORE STOPPING, AND GETTING UP ON HIS TAIL FINS?!)...... What, did, you, DO TO ME?!"
Deadpool: "Uhhhhhh..... Ya see, I, (nervious laughter), accsidently mistook a strain of my DNA with spice and covered around your roasted corpse, and now..... YOUR A DEADPOOL-FISH?!"
Xun Zhong: "A-WHAT POOL?! (Gets a painful mingrain as inside, the former normal mind of Xun Zhong gets overwealmed by the DNA Deadpools, which lead by a DNA Deadpool with a crown, as on the outside, Xun Zhong gets overed in a Deadpool-eqsed costume) AGGGHHHHHHHH?! AHHHHHHHHHHHH?! OAAHHHHHHH?! What's happening to me?! What have I become?! (Looks at the audience and screams) AND WHO THE HELL ARE THEY?!"
YB Deadpool: "Ohhh how cute, he saw the forth wall."
Xun Zhong: "WHAT WAS THAT?!"
WB Deadpool: "Aw crap, now HE can hear us! It's bad enough this old school war criminal now has Deadpool's regenitive powers and the powers of the forth wall, now we're getting more then just Deadpool hearing us! There is TRUELY no such thing as privacy anymore!"
Deadpool: "It's okay bro, you can make this work! If anything, your WAY more badass then just being an old scarred up fish and a would've been time waster had it not been for me."
Xun Zhong: "YOU MISERABLE HALF-WIT HALIBAT, I-...... Wait, did one of those boxes said "Regenitive Powers"?"
Deadpool/WB/YB: "No?"
Xun Zhong: "DON'T TRY TO LIE TO ME?! Wait, actselly..... Now that I think about it, maybe this won't be so bad. I, have transend into an unstoppable godhood! I am BEYOND being a war criminal?! Seeking revenge on Diao's family is BENEATH ME NOW?! I, HAVE BECOME A GOD OF DESTRUCTION AND WAR?! Why waste my time in this miserabe dumbhole, when I can instead bring war to all worlds?! This place is bloodly beneath me now?! And I have YOU, to thank?!"
Deadpool: "Uh, think, nothing of it? Look, Xunny, seriously, it was mainly an accisdent-"
Xun Zhong: "I already fingured that since I was moments ago COOKING to a 600 Degrees celisus on your cheaply made alien cookware! And don't call me Xun Zhong no more! I also assumed that YOU ARE THE REASON I DIED, FREAK?! Call me, by a new name..... THE RED SGURGEN?!"
"Xun Zhong": "Actselly, that bit you coughed up does sound alot better. DEADFISH IT IS?! And now, as my first godly degree, I'LL DESTROY YOU FOR ROBBING ME OF MY CHANCE TO KILL OFF DIAO AND HIS FAMILY?!"
Deadpool: "CRAP?! (Runs as Deadfish runs after Deadpool laughing) HELP?! HELLLP?!"
The Lougers and friends sees this happening.
Ming: "..... Your right, he was gonna end up doing something stupid with that fish."
Icky: "Ugghhhhhh. I'll go get the super-villain capture pan-dimention cube. (Walks off.)"
Hu: "Note to ourselves everyone. NEVER, inform Mayor Diao of what became of Xun Zhong, or, Deadfish as he is now."
Woo: "Agreed."
Po: "Totes."
Phil: "My lips are sealed."
Chapter 7: Pang Bing: Shell Lodger and Equinox Master[]
5 months later.
Icky: Well, that was a good 5 months of break time. Had a lotta s*** occurring since Christmas. We've never had this long a break since... Since, EVER!
Tigress: Shush. Tricorn's speech is starting.
The People gathered up to hear an impourent speech from Tri-Corn.
Tri-Corn: "My dear Dragon Realmians, native or otherwise, we have gathered here today for a momentus occation.... The unvailing of my new garrentied to be indestructable, diamond statue! (A Tri-Corn Statue made of Diamond was seen, as the audience oohhhhed and ahhhed at it.) It was a charming little gift of the Diamond People of Jazajaz 90 who offered their most indestructable diamond as a gift to the Lougers when I helped them defeated an evil Diamond overlord during in what was once an ambassitor trip."
Commenter: "So what, did you yelled the overlord to death?"
The Audience laughed.
Tri-Corn: "(Sarcasticly laughs), Hilarious. (Serious again) No, I was able to lead the Lougers to victory by pinpointing a weakness, the overlord's litteral achilies heel, if you well. One prick and he was done. And now..... We ALL, have a beautiful diamond me, to stare at."
Suddenly, the sky gets covered in colored spot-lights as what looks like a concert assends down to the city.
Tri-Corn: "OH NOW WHAT?!"
(Music was heard.)
Hit Me Baby One More Time With Lyrics
An armored Pop Diva Super Villain of Zootopia Origin was reveiled alongside Zootopian eqsed female deers of several kinds dressed as background dancers appeared on the flouting stage as they began singing the above song.
Tri-Corn: "...... WHAT ON GAIA'S GREEN ASS?!"
Jamica: "Oh that is NOT a graceful saying."
As the song enter interlode, the diva gained a jetpack and flew with the background dancers who also had jetpacks!
Diva: "Allow me to introduse little ol' me.... I, am Pop Ztar! And theses are my Ztar Dancers! The newest super-villain sensation from Zootopia, and I am here to rock your worlds!"
Tri-Corn: "..... Pop Star?"
Jamica: "Star, Dnacers?"
Pop Ztar: "Ztar with a Z."
Tri-Corn and Jamica: "..... Ohhhhhhhh."
Patrick: That sounds stupid.
Pop Ztar: YOU'RE STUPID!
Patrick: Joke's on you! I really AM stupid!
Squidward: And that's PRECISELY the problem, you f*****g sociopath! (Sandy slapped him) OW! Okay, I deserved that.
Tri-Corn: "Well what the hell do you want?"
Pop Ztar: "Mainly just three things, to live the life that I NEVER gotten when I oh-so deserved it, your diamond statue, AND REVENGE ON GAZELLE FOR STEALING MY DREAM?! I, wanted to be the one who gets to be the first singing herbavore?! BUT SHE TOOK IT FROM ME?!"
Jamica: "Ya know miss, there's a good chance that could be an accsident."
Pop Ztar: "THAT'S NOT EVEN THE WORSE OF IT?! SHE, EVEN GOT TO BE A SPACE MESSIAH?! SHE GOT TO DO COOL THINGS?! THAT COULD'VE BEEN MY LIFE?!"
Tri-Corn: "Ya know, lady, Gazelle becoming a celeberty had nothing to do with being a Uniter, she kinda saved the Lightfly Queen's life from some Mothrons, so, even if she was some nobody, she STILL would've been Uniter."
Pop Ztar: "THAT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE?! SHE WOULD STILL BE BETTER THEN ME EITHER WAY?! I HATE THAT?! I'M TWICE THE GAZELLE SHE'LL EVER BE?!"
Commenter: "YOUR BUTT'S NOT AS BIG AS HER'S! Also, your not a gazelle, your a pretty basic deer at best."
Pop Ztar's hand turns into a futureistic sonic speaker-like weapon and fires devastating sonic waves at the direction the comment came from resulting in a sonic explosion.
Commenter: AAAHHH!! BLOOD IS SQUIRTING OUTTA MY EAAAAARS!!! (Everyone panicked)... BUT OTHER THAN THAT, I'M OKAY!!
Pop Ztar: " THAT, was a warning! Surrender the statue, for it is my thank you gift for my music master and the mad sciencetist who was nice enough to help me."
Pop Daddy Longleg appeared onto the stage, along side a Futurasian Wrummel male sciencetist covered who is a head onto a robotic body filled to the brim with guns.
Pop Ztar: "Pop Daddy Longlegs, my mentor, and the blue alien guy with the freaky robot body who made my my Pop-Ztar Armor, Dr. Zmo King Gun."
Dr. Zmo: "(Laughs crazly) Think nothing of it, my dear!"
Pop Daddy: "Your welcome, sweet pea."
Patrick: That's just as stupid as Pop Ztar!
Pop Ztar: "... I'm not even gonna respond to that. Now, let us give this show it's finale, as I will finish my song, leave this groudy city in ruins, take the statue, and start out my villain concert with a bang! Litterally! Oh, and P.S.: I got the Amazing 9 Losers out of the picture too!"
Dr. Zmo summoned hug drones that have the captured Amazing Nine!
Pop Ztar: "And now, it's time to finish a concert?!"
Continues with her song as it is leading to the city being destroyed as the flying concert began to obduct the statue!
Tri-Corn: "YOU SINGING MAD WOMAN!? YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS?!"
Pop Ztar: "Thaa, bet'ya I will!"
???: "ENOUGH, POP ZTAR?!"
Pop Ztar looked to see Gazelle in the audience with the Lougers.
Gazelle: "...... Your grief, is clearly with me."
Pop Ztar: "...... I knew you'd showed up, FAME STEALER?!"
Gazelle: "You only have Whyte to blame for that. He wouldn't let any herbivore celeberty happen."
Pop Ztar: "I AM TIRED OF THAT ARGUEMENT?! GET READY TO BE PWNED BY A REAL SINGER!!"
Pop Ztar gets her sonic hand cannons ready and charged at Gazelle along side her Ztar Dancers, as Pop Daddy and Dr. Zmo joined in!
Gazelle: "You ready for this, Pang?"
Pang Bing: "I am never one to come under-prepared as a balenco'ed Equinox User. Let's put this destructive siren on mute?!"
Pop Ztar: Or perhaps, turn up the sound! (She augments her sonic cannons to max as they blasted loudly as something like this occurred, only on a much more comical scale)
Darwin's Rage Scream
Mr. Whiskers: (Wearing logs as earplugs)... Wow, and I thought Brandy was a dreaded noise polluter!
Patrick: HAH! How can you pollute noise? It's unphysical.
Squidward: (Yelling in his face) IT'S A TERM FOR A DISTURBANCE OF PEACE THROUGH NOISE, YOU BARNACLE-HEAD!!!!
Sandy: Squidward!
Squidward: I know, I know, banging my head on a brick wall!
Pop Ztar: FEEL THE NOISE!!! (Pop Daddy plays this at maximum volume)
GTA Vice City - V-Rock -16- Quiet Riot - Cum On Feel The Noize (320 kbps)
Gazelle: (They continued fighting)
Iago: AHHH! IT'S LIKE TWO DRILLS IN OUR EARS, OR EAR HOLES, AND THEY'RE MEETING IN THE-
Icky: NOT THE TIME TO REFERENCE OUR SITUATION, CRACKER-HATER!!!
Lord Shen: MAKE IT STOP!!!
Random Guy: (Dubbed as the 'MY EYES!' Guy, only with gushing ears) MY EAAAARS!!!
Gazelle: (She was protected from the noise thanks to magic, along with Pang) Okay, Poppy, you need to stop! Making people's ears rupture with this noise is not going to accomplish anything!
Pop Ztar: DON'T CALL ME POPPY!! I, AM, POP ZTAR!!
Gazelle: I'LL CALL YOU WHATEVER I PLEASE, THANK YOU!
Dr. Zmo: YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT! (He blasts her with his sonic cannon, knocking her into a wall)
Gazelle: (She got out without a scratch) Hit me with what you got, I'll still call you Poppy!
Pop Ztar: As you wish, spotlight-stealer!
Gazelle: I SAID IT ONCE, AND I'LL SAY IT AS MANY TIMES AS I MUST OR THE LAST TIME! I DID NOT STEAL ANYTHING!! If anything, Duke's the one who steals!
Duke: NOT HELPING!!!
Pop Ztar: HOLD STILL, HORNRESAS?! (They continue fighting)
Dr. Zmo: "Drones?! Take the Amazing 9 out of here?! We can't risk them escaping amits this intense fighting?!"
The Drones attempt to leave with the Amazing 9 in tow!
Sam: Oh, no, you don't! (He and Max fire at them with their rocket launchers)
Dr. Zmo: Oh, yes, they do! (He uses a cybernetic ability to reprogram the rockets and fire them at the heroes)
Max: AH, YOU CHEATING C***BITE! (They hit them as they cartoonishly got pummeled by the impact)
Dr. Zmo: That's not cheating! That's SCIENCE! I'm one of the best mad scientists on my home planet for a reason. I think of EVERYTHING, and thus I never get caught, and nobody, but NOOOBODY, can touch me.
Sam: Oh, we'll see about tha-
Dr. Zmo: 860!
Sam: AW, DAMMIT!!!
Max: Freeza Factor, Sam! Freeza Fricking Factor! It's a pain in the butt.
Gazelle: (She and Pang continued fighting Pop Ztar) Poppy, stop this! You don't have to be as popular as me to get a good life!
Pop Ztar: Easy for you to say. Ever since I lost my beautiful hair, it's clear that NOT being as popular as you was PRECISELY the problem! You think I'm doing this for lols like any other two-bit super villain?! I HAVE A REASON?!
Icky's voice: "INCOMING VILLAIN SOB STORY!"
Flashback...
(Pop Ztar): "All you ever did was trying to stand up for that little dweeb of a sheep with the doll from some local assclowns! Helping Smellwether was appearently helping your former POOR friend get a chance to atthive a lifelong dream. You ended up neglecting me when you fell into a pointless depression about that sheep?! All the while, I suffered my OWN problems?! My father had to shave my hair, perimently cleaned off to test a stupid potion-
(Kowalski): The technical term is 'serum'. Potion is usually a term for magic-
(Pop Ztar): POTATO POTOTO!! Anyway, it made it that you can be bold permanently! That stupid doof ruined my dreams for a stupid science exspeariment?! But I never stopped?! I carried one and tried to make peace with this, until..... YOU, BECAME THE FIRST CELEBERTY HERBAVORE?!"
Past Pop Ztar was at a disbelief of Gazelle's rise to fame.
(Pop Ztar): "...... You ruined my dreams..... You ruined my life...... All my hardships were for nothing?! You failed to live up to a promise, Gazzy...... IN THE WORSE, WAY, POSSABLE?!"
Flashback ends.
Pop Ztar was seen struggling to fight back tears, as Gazelle, and the others looked on in shocked.
Private: "..... That's awful."
Icky: ".... Look, in all fairness lady, that's just as much the fault of Bellwether's bullies. Aren't for them ruining the sheep Gazelle was trying to save from an unvirtuious life, you wouldn't really have this problem. Why blame Gazzy for that, I mean, the hair thing isn't even her fault!"
Pop Ztar: "HER FAULT, IS THAT SHE ALLOWED ONE MISERABLE INSIGNIFIENT LITTLE SHEEP, BE THE REASON WHY I'M NOT THE FAMOUS ONE?!"
Pang Bing: "I'm sorry for your misfortune. But all the same, teaming up with the likes of (points to Dr. Zmo and Pop Daddy) them, will not get back the life you wanted. You only succeeded in pushing it further away from you."
Pop Ztar: "That's only looking at the glass half empty! The way I see it, I will prove to Zootopia that you are weak person, Horndreas! Then they'll beg me to be the celeberty that should've been! I'll make them question why they ever bothered with you?!"
Duke: "Well that's because Giselle is more then just a pretty face! She has a heart of 40 carrot gold and inspired Zootopia to be better then what it could've been. She stands up for people who are poorly represented and can't fight back."
Gazelle: ".... Poppy, I'm sorry that I hurted you so badly. But the least I can do for you now is to keep you from hurting others for my mistakes."
Pop Ztar: "Pfft! Good luck doing that DEAF?! (Aims her hand cannons and fires at Gazelle, only to be sheilded by Pang Bing)"
Pang Bing: "Get ready to learn that having faith in aimless renigades will only proof fruitless, you hapless premadonna!"
Pop Ztar snarled and charged after the duo!
Shen was fighting Pop Daddy as the Dactyls were chasing after the Drones of Zmo with Crane!
Thunderclap: "So, Straw-Hat, what's the plan?"
Crane: "I'm kinda improvising here, maybe we can try hitting the drones in the weakspots!"
Downpour: "We kinda need to know what they ARE first?!"
Patrick: Or we can try hitting them really, REALLY hard!
Squidward: Oh, you'd say that. You don't know s*** about fighting scientific forces. (As Po went off and tried that and it worked) These things are BOUND to have shields that would fry us with a single touch, or reflect blasts back at u- *Punch*...
Po:... AAA-HA-HA-HAOOOW!! At least it worked!
Super Lion: Great! Just keep doing that!
Drone #1: Beep!
Wise Guy Jackal: Eh, pain is not that much of a factor. They've practically been shocked so many times, they can't even feel it anymo- (The drones used electric attacks as they jolted in pain)...
Elementos:... You have NO sense of sensitivity.
Wise Guy Jackal: Hey, we have superpowers! Even if we've had them for a while, you can get used to it.
Elementos:... I shouldn't argue with a guy who has 'Wise Guy' in the name.
Wise Guy Jackal: Yeah, you shouldn't.
Drone #2: "Beep!"
Wise Guy Jackel: "OH THAT ONE'S ASKING FOR IT?!"
Elementos: "They're just saying beep..... Which is actselly the most steriotypical thing for a bot to say."
Pop Daddy Longlegs: "Yeah, I kinda have to agree with the heroes man. Zmo my man, WHY do you have your bots speak in a steriotypical mannor?"
Dr. Zmo: "First off, it is NOT an intentional design, it's an exspearimental proceedure.... Also..... Voice modules are FUCKING EXPENDSIVE MAN?! And let's be honest, being a renigade sciencetist doesn't exactly put bread on the table."
Pop Daddy: "..... Wow man. You really DO need this job!"
Dr. Zmo: "Why else did you think I asked her to have that diamond statue gifted to us? That thing will be worth it's waight in cash in the black market! And we'll share it 50/50."
Pop Daddy: "That's cool of you man, but, I'm gonna let you have the whole thing, you sounded like you CLEARLY need it if your making personfived robot steriotypes."
Drones started beeping!
Dr. Zmo: "..... You made them all very happy, Longlegs."
Tri-Corn: "HOW DARE YOU TWO HOLLIGANS THREATEN TO SELL MY HARD EARNED STATUE?!"
Dr. Zmo: "Hey, YOUR OWN FAULT for making a giant diamond statue. I mean, who makes that kind of s*** and NOT expected it to be rob by an coup de gra of intermediate entry villains? By all counts, your kinda a very s****y polotision."
Jamica: "..... Actselly, ma'am. In hindsight, maybe putting yourself in every single thing and these expendsive persuits are kinda indications that you MIGHT not be exactly a perfect leader. I think we need to talk about these sort've things with Senator More-Corn."
Tri-Corn: "DAMN IT, JAMICA, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT AGREEING WITH BAD GUYS?!"
Super Lion: "The doctor did bring up a good arguement, Senator. I mean, how many times did you made statues made of precious stones and they ended up epicenters of being stolen by villains of this caliber?"
Tri-Corn: "...... Uhh....."
Lord Shen: "Miss Tri-Corn, answer the question. (Dodges a sneak attack from a Ztar Dancer!)"
Tricorn:... More than I can count, actually.
Jamica: Well, there you go! That's practically asking for a villain-hero fight that risks property damage.
Tricorn:... (Sighs) I knew I should've just gone with silver.
Gazelle: We'll discuss this later, Senator! Right now, we need to deal with this threat.
Pop Ztar: WHY'RE YOU FIGHTING THIS?!? Don't you CARE for my well-being?
Gazelle: I do, but, if you would pardon my french, I certainly didn't get this far by being a total bitch about it!
Pop Ztar: HOW DARE YOU REFER TO ME AS A FEMALE DOG?!? (She fired her sonic arm cannons again)
Gazelle: THAT, IS, ENOUGH! (She and Pang disabled her sonic cannons)
Pang Bing: You are not thinking straight with this move! That scientist clearly cannot make water if you stuck him in a room with a snowman and a blowtorch if he can't fix his robots and has an operational budget. I'm surprised these heroes' jobs are easy as their enemies don't offer much of a challenge. It's miraculious he was able to even GIVE you this armor, or even MAKE those drones at all.
Icky: If I had a nickel for every time we heard or said that, we wouldn't even NEED a charity drive.
Pop Ztar: (Growls angrily, and tries to attack, but the two started beating her and disabling much of her mech) STOP! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?
Gazelle: What we must! We need to ensure you don't cause anymore nonsense. Poppy, this is NOT like you to immediately resort to this crap.
Pop Ztar: Actually, this wasn't my idea. (PopDaddy and Zmo was shocked with a glass-shatter)
Skipper: Is that so?
Pop Ztar: They said that doing this would ensure that I-
PopDaddy: THAT YOU WOULD... Would...
Zmo: You have no defense, do you?
PopDaddy: I do not! So, as a last ditch effert, I am just gonna use the disco ball!
Skipper: Let's not and say we didn't! (They pinned the three down as the Ztar Dancers were eventually overwealmed by the off-screen-freed Amazing Nine)
Later.
Zmo was trapped in a speical container while being taken by Futurasian bot cops.
Bot Cop: "You have our word that the Core will see to it that we'll keep a better eye on our spilled milk."
Jamica: "I appresiate the promise. So will Tri-Corn. Who will likely deal with alot of lectures from Miss Morecorn for, a good while."
The Bot Cops leave as Pop Daddy was dragged by Axle and Jenet.
Axle: "Ya know, this is LITTERALLY the second biggest villain team-up you did since the Professor Gloom thing! It's almost amazing we can still take ya to the holding cells at the station."
Jenet: "Well, that's because he's more of a "Super-Criminal" then a super villain, because he's basicly just an outdated rouge pop singer with tec."
Pop Daddy: "That's hurtal y'all. Very hurtfull."
A de-armored Pop Ztar was seen being taken to a transport ship heading to Zootopia with the Ztar Dancers.
Gazelle: "..... I hope it's possable for her to change."
Pang Bing: "It is, but she clearly will struggle for awhile, like I had did. It takes more then one defeat to fix some people. You are likely to see her again as Pop Ztar, before she comes back as your lost friend."
Gazelle: "I know, it'll take time, and alot more fights, but, I'll find a way. Until then.... Pang, there's, something I wanted to show you."
Dragon Guardian Temple.
Pang Bing arrived and saw the Space Orb with Queen Elzabona of the Lightflies and Hai Hoi.
Pang Bing: "The lightfly queen? Hai Hoi? Orb Mother? What brings you here?"
Hai Hoi: "Well, we were discussing several things, and, we desided that certain people you cared about finally deserve a long awaited reunion."
Pang Bing saw the chi containment device and gulped.
Elzabana: "Don't worry. We were careful to not inadvertingly bring Mothlock in doing so. Nor to your old boss' father."
Pang Bing: "Wait..... You mean?"
The Space Orb moved to show Pang Bing's sisters, the Witch Market members of that time, and Don Miniog.
Pang Bing was awe-strucked.
Pang Bing's sisters all chattered about and came to hug Pang Bing, while Don came up.
Don Miniog: "...... Pang, you may've gotten alittle sloppy at first, but..... I'm proud of you."
Pang Bing: "..... How...... How is this all possable?"
Hai Hoi: "The Uniter convinced us to do, one more kind deed for you. It was not easy to dispell Don's father and Mothlock from returning along with them, but, the combined power of light, chi and magic proved successful."
Elzabana: "And don't worry about living arrangements. Hai Hoi was generious to have your sisters to live with her in Ling's Oasis."
Pang Bing: "But, Don, what about you?"
Don: "Well, me and the gang will simply go back to the witches' market. Po informed me that two certain modern desendents of mine have been causing trouble. Those two sisters as he said need proper edicite. I'll make sure the Witch Market won't be as extreme as growth potions and ability enhancement shoes anymore, espeically how bad those things went."
Gazelle came in, and is quickly greeted by Pang Bing giving a tearful hug.
Pang Bing: "Thank you.... Nothing could ruin this moment."
A girly squeal was heard!
Deadpool was seen running from Deadfish as they ran through the group and still ran!
Pang Bing: ".... Oh right, we're still housing that idiot from the month-ago escaped Deadfish."
Icky's voice: "I'm already getting the super-villain catcher cube."
Gazelle: "...... What do you say we help out Deadpool in the meantime, because it's likely Deadfish won't stay still this time."
Pang Bing: "Very well, because on the grounds that both of those mutanted idiots interupted the happiest moment of my life!"
Gazelle and Pang Bing both leaped into action as it freezed to that moment as try everything played!
Epilogue[]
Somewhere else.
Icky and Iago are seen on chairs.
Icky: "WOW, we finally made it to the finish mark! And what better way to celebrate it, then with another trailer to our upcoming first interseason movie! This time, in the sytile of the starting intro of Rayman 3! Enjoy!"
Iago: "ANNNNND I barely get to say a line. (Laughtrack.) But in all seriousness, yeah, it's gonna be fun."
Rayman 3 Music Madder
In trailer as the music played.
The Van was seen flying, as it cuts to many AUU bases, good and bad, and the scenery of a big temple.
Soldiers are seen marching about.
The music starts to pick up as did with the action, showing a montage of Icky and Iago interacting with good guys and bag guys as wacky sound effects are heard.
It all reaches the confrontion of a huge Scorpain/Roach/Lobster being in black spanich inquizitor robes coming forth with an artifact louged into an artifical spector as he started to battle the duo and a 3rd hero as eventually he was defeated as tall bug beings surrounded him as the duo celebrated and posed like hams at the end of the song while the new hero just stares confusingly.
ICKY AND IAGO: XENOPHOBE BUSTERS. Coming..... Right now, actselly.
Icky: "...... NOW THAT, WAS COOL?!"
Iago: "It's short, sweet, and to the point."
Scroopfan: "Hey you two, can we get a say in this?"
Icky: "Oh, sure thing boss!"
Scroopfan: "AHEM! We had alot of fun with this, and I'm glad to have made it to this milestone and hope to atthive many more."
MSM: And let's hope the next Season 3 Saga goes smoothly and fairly well for the new year of 2017.
Scroopfan: "Well said, folks. Hope to see you again in the following season 3 half and more to come. Until then, THAT'S ALL FOLKS?!"
Updated Looney Tunes Outro
finito....... Wow, this is finally done?! TOOK THEM LONG ENOUGH?!
Deadpool: "I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THEY ENDED IT WITH ME BEING CHASED BY A CRAZY DEADPOOL FISH?! AND WHAT WAS WITH THE POINTLESS DIVA SUPER-VILLAIN, I MEAN-" (Gets cut off by the fade-out.)
