Granny Luck-Out

Ever since the events of Grannies Gone Wild, it was discovered that Jack Pot was Trixie's uncle (No DUH!) and that Trixie was proven MORE then alittle bit furious Rainbow Dash ruined the show. Even despite Jack Pot saying no harm was done, Trixie forces Rainbow and the Old Mares to re-take the show. But alchourse, Granny Smith decided to make the most out of an intense situation and sees this as a re-take of going to Las Pegasus again AND getting to enjoy a proper time there, this time, they would get another chance for staring in Jack Pot and Big Bucks' show again, AND getting to see the unvailment of a new Roller Coaster that replaces the Wild Blue Yonder: The Sky Dragon XXXXXXXL. This looked to be a far more promising time. However, fortune would have it not being so simple, as Las Pegasus has another guest. Lady Luck-Out, an elderly former Chancellor for the EEA, pretends to be Granny Smith's new friend so she can trick Rainbow Dash to race against her fast yet disinterested granddaughter, Speed Luck, a pony who, despite her disinterested attitude, is a pony whose speed surpasses Rainbow Dash so she can make Granny Smith bet the legal ownership of the School and pretty much win. Trixie being present, now aims to alarm Twilight and the Lougers of this. But the heroes may not arrive in time to stop the race, so now Trixie needs a means to keep Luck-Out from scamming Granny Smith and Rainbow out of the school, and she would need the help of two certain brothers to do so. Trouble is, the Flimflam Brothers are reluctant to show their faces to Granny Smith again in due to the past. How will this play out?

Quotes

The Race

Trixie: Let's say she does win a race against you. What are you gonna do? Resign from the Wonderbolts, move out of town, and start up a private flying school with a new name?
Rainbow Dash: "Trix, that, was the opposite, of helping!"
Trixie: Oh, don't start with me! You wanted to quit trying to become a Wonderbolt on the first day at the Academy, remember?
Rainbow Dash: "That doesn't give you permission to give me an existential crisis!"

Transcript

Chapter 1: Another Las Pegasus Trip/The Big Shocker of Trixie's Family Tree/The New Sky Dragon XXXXXXXL

Sweet Apple Acres.

Granny Smith was seen preparing for another Las Pegasus trip.
Granny Smith: YEEEEEEEHAH! Another Las Pegasus trip, yall!
Applejack: Yep. After two Lodger adventures in a row to make up for their lost connecting time to Equestria, the ONE world they seem to pay more attention to these days, I can finally give you that alone-time trip I owe ya.
Granny: Yeah. I mean, when you sent Rainbow Dash here AND got her to look after us against what WE wanted, we NEEDED to have a serious intervention, young lady.
Applejack: I know. I was just, waiting for a safe time to do it.
Granny Smith: SAFE?!? Little one, do I REALLY seem as weak as ah lo- *Crack* AAAH, OH MY BACK!!
Applejack: ".... In my defense, your age can really catch with you easily."
Granny: "Aww don't worry, I can take care of myself. Can't wait for the other gals to arrive soon."
???: "YOU CLUMSY RAINBOW CLOD?!"
It was noticed that Trixie is being very confrontational to Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash: "YEESH, TRIXIE, WHAT'RE YOU SO MAD ABOUT?! THAT EPISODE'S BEEN OUT SINCE 2018, IT'S KINDA OLD NEWS NOW?!"
Trixie: "MISS DASH, JACK POT, IS TRIXIE'S UNCLE?!"
STOCK DRAMATIC STING?!
Rainbow Dash: ".... I mean, he had your colors, soooooooo..... I, kinda figured as much."
Trixie: "..... YOU OWE MY UNCLE A REDO?!"
Rainbow Dash: "Hey, he and his friend were chill about that time, so no harm done-"
Trixie: "I MEAN IT?! YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE MY UNCLE'S SHOW ANOTHER CHANCE TO NOT RUIN IT?!"
Rainbow Dash: "Good grief, did you catch some of Starlight's anger or something?"
Granny: "... Kinda figured that would come back to bite me in the heinie."
Rainbow Dash: "Okay okay, I'll do a make-up viewing of the act! Besides, it just so happens that the Wild Blue Yonder's successor ride is FINALLY unveiled! (Shows poster) THE SKY DRAGON XXXXXXXL?!"
Trixie: "..... Why so many X's?"
Rainbow Dash: "It makes it sound badass. Point is, every pony will be there for its opening! EVEN THE WONDERBOLTS?! It promises to be the most over-the-top, extreme, adrenaline-inducing ride, EVER!"
Trixie: "Oh great, that means we'll be expecting a return visit from Pony Rick and Morty cause I'm sure they would try that as well! Okay, deal! You'll get to do that ride, IF, you agree to give my uncle's show another shot! AND NOT TO RUIN IT!"
Rainbow Dash: "Okay okay! The line's likely to be MONSTROUS anyway, so, something to pass the time a little."
Applejack: "I'm guessing you two are coming along then?"
Trixie: Well, it wouldn't be SPONGEBOB AND FRIENDS if there was no SPONGEBOB AND FRIENDS in it. They'll be watching Las Pegasus for our entire trip. You know, to keep this, villain-free.
Rainbow Dash: Trix, you know the cliche, villain attacks are ALWAYS unavoidable.
Trixie: I KNOW! That's what makes it SUCK! In fact, Trixie just learned a spell that traps us in a temporal redo spell so that we can try it again and make sure those villains don't spoil it.
Rainbow Dash: Yeeeah, magic used for selfish reasons? C'mon, Trixie, you're better than-...... Oh, right, you're not, if the Alicorn Amulet is anything to go by.
Trixie: Well, it's not selfish if it's expected. The Lodgers NEED a vacation. And a REAL one. The Villain League is in the midst of a rebranding because of what happened last year with Fake-X, and heck, Trixie hears that the villain community isn't doing so hot. Henchmen agencies are all reduced to Craigslist-levels of unreliable, and it spews out more comically-stupid henchmen than actual henchmen.
Rainbow Dash: PFFFFT, BAAHAHAHA! Sucks to be those guys.
Trixie: C'mon, this show is basically about us shooting the s*** out of canon and, was reduced from a kids show to one that portrays us in a 'reality'-style light by getting to love-instinctive, yet still being modest in that regard, using more swears than an NC-17 movie, and just being flat-out... Adult.
Rainbow Dash: Well, duh, even CARTOONS have to have a slice of reality.
Trixie: Yeah, but that doesn't mean we're-.... Okay, look, we're getting off-track, for like the gazillionth time. Point is, you owe my uncle a show.
Applejack: Well, I owe Granny an alone trip with her friends. So, yeah, we're all going.
Granny Smith: I don't think ya grasp what 'ALONE' means.
Applejack: Granny, you heard Trixie, villains are like the norms to us nowadays. Heck, our show just wrapped up last year, and we're STILL in... A certain part of it in the producers' own lore.
Granny Smith: Ugh, people these days and their addiction to fourth-wall-breaking.
(Deadpool): WHAT?!? IT'S DELICIOUS!!
Trixie: So, for the last time, you owe-
Rainbow Dash: I HEARD YOU THE LAST FEW TIMES, YA SHOWOFF!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BASH MY BRAINS OPEN WITH IT!! ALICORNS!!! I'LL GET YOUR UNCLE HIS STUUUuuuuuPENDOUS PLAY ALREADY, JUST DON'T RUSH ME!!
Applejack:... I can tell this trip is going to go downhill fast.
Granny: "Well worst-case scenario, another one of yer E.E.A. problems pops up as well."
Applejack: "After what we went through with Lady Mode, I rather not chance that."
Trixie: "So, when are the other old mares' showing up?"
Granny Smith: Hey, give em their time. They are old after all.
Rainbow Dash: "So otherwise, it's gonna be just us?"
Applejack: "Eeeyup. Twilight went to a book convention, and took Spike with'er, Fluttershy has a busy day in her sanctuary, Rarity's still catching up to delayed orders from the magic fritz, Pinkie's got parties to plan, and Starlight's watching over the School of Friendship with the faculty."
Granny Smith: "Kinda a cowinky dink they're busy with their own things, don't ya think?"
Rainbow Dash: "It was kinda the same with the canon show."
???: We're here! (Apple Rose, Applesauce, and Goldie appeared)
Applesauce: And we're ready to rock and roll.
Applejack: Wow. You girls are faster than I thought.
Apple Rose: Hey, we may be old, but we ain't slow.
Goldie: Nope.
Applejack: Well, we ARE miniature horses. (She laughed)
Trixie:... Eh, it's not really self-racist if it's true. Especially when it comes to Earth ponies.
Gilda: (She flew in) Trix? Are we getting this show on the road or not?
Trixie: Trixie's working on it.
Rainbow Dash: "Hey Gilds."
Gilda: "S'up Dash."
Rainbow Dash: So, you guys getting ready for what may be your 3rd Equestrian adventure in a row?
Gilda: Well, since Kairi and Sora are, STILL, eloping, we have more freedom to go crazy as cartoons, go on vacation, and... Just do whatever the cu*k we want. Well that and, it'll help cut out the middle man of us always coming in late of these kinds of episodes should conflict inevitably show up and have us be already ready to face it, as Shen would say.
Applejack: "Which would really help out if that were to be the case."
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, considering that you pay more attention to US than any other world.
Gilda: RIGHT?!? That's WHAT I KEEP SAYING!! CAN'T ANY OTHER WORLD BE IN DANGER FOR ONCE?!? Ahem, not saying I want worlds to get in danger, alchourse.
Trixie: Let's just go. (They went on a giant hot air balloon)
Rainbow Dash:... So... Um... What's there to know about your, um... Uncle?
Trixie: Well, if you MUST know, Jack Pot, is just as great and powerful as, the great, and powerful TR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RIXIE!
Rainbow Dash: Kissass.
Trixie: HEY, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT WE WERE GREAT TOGETHER! WE WERE EACH OTHER'S PARTNERS!

Cutaway

Jack Pot: HELLO, I AM JACK POT, MASTER OF THE ILLUSIONARY ARTS! AND THIS IS MY LOVELY ASSISTANT AND NIECE, TRIXIE!... Ahem... My lovely assistant and niece, TRIXIE!... (Whispering) TRIXIE?! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!? (Trixie as an adolescent filly appeared in a puff of smoke as Jack Pot coughed)
Trixie: VOILA! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE, HAS ARRIVED!!
Jack Pot: What are you doing?! You're making me look bad.
Trixie: Okay, #1, you don't need any help to do that.
Jack Pot: Neither do you. (The audience oohed)
Trixie: Oh, haha. #2, I am NOT your assistant. YOU'RE MY assistant.
Jack Pot: Didn't you even read the layouts?!
Trixie: "I'm more of a, making it up as I go along kinda pony."
Jack Pot: ".... (Facehooves) Good grief, Trixie."

Present

Trixie:... Kinda.
Gilda:... Well, that would explain a LOT.
Rainbow Dash: "Like ya wouldn't believe."
Trixie: Okay, okay, this isn't about me. This is about my Uncle. First thing you're going to do, is apologizing.
Rainbow Dash: No duh, it's kinda the law of friendship.
Gilda: Where'd this silly friendship philosophy of yours come from anyway?
Applejack: Well, we don't know-
Applesauce: That would be because the head Alicorn goddess, Philosophius, was the goddess of friendship, and our philosophy is actually our version of world peace.
Gilda:... Couldn't you guys just had called it "World Peace"? Sounds less Toddlerish.
Rainbow Dash: "We're from a show made to sell toys to little girls, what exactly did you expect?"
Gilda: "Toushe."
Trixie: (Sighs) Let's just go.

Air Balloon Ride.

The group were on an air balloon.
Trixie:... Trixie has to admit, even though she gets a view like this a lot from the van, it's actually MUCH better without glass in front.
Gilda: Pbbbbbbbbt. When you can fly, the view is MUCH better than some dumb machine.
Rainbow Dash: Amen.
Applejack: Well, not ALL of us can fly, now can we?
Granny Smith: Yeah, now can we?
Gilda: Miss... Not to sound disrespectful... BUT STAY OUTTA THIS, OLD WOMAN!! (She was bitch-slapped by Granny Smith)
Granny Smith: IT WAS STILL DISRESPECTFUL, BIRDY!
Gilda:... (Sighs) The sooner we get to Las Pegasus, the better. (They saw Spyro and Cynder flying around)... We're here.
Goldie: 'BOUT TIME!!!
The Air Balloon lands on a platform as the group got off.
Las Pegasus Greeter: "Welcome to Las Pegasus. Enjoy your stay."
Granny Smith: "Planning to, Missy."
The group moved towards the casino.

Inside.

The Group entered the Casino as the new roller coaster expanded beyond the building and was all over the place.
Rainbow Dash: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah! That is so AWESOME?!"
Trixie: "A'hemhem!"
Rainbow Dash: "Relax, Trixie, I still remember the deal! I'm still gonna give your uncle's show a shot."
Gilda: ".... By the way, Granny Smith, why is it you like coming to a place owned by the Flimflam Bros? Kinda figure you hated their guts."
Granny Smith: "More like I hated on how aggressive they are in being business ponies. Give them credit, it isn't like they made crud products."
Applesauce: "With exception to the thing about the tonic."
Goldie: "And that school thing they tried."
Applejack: "And them dolls."
Granny Smith: "1, they're unicorns, I assumed magic was involved, 2, they were brainwashed by an E.E.A. charlatan, and 3, they were doing what their uncle asked."
Apple Rose: "Fair points."

A Room.

The group got themselves situated into a luxurious room viewing out into the city of Las Pegasus
Goldie: "Ahhh, this room's always worth the price of admission."
Rainbow Dash: "(Unpacks her things as Gilda came up) S'up Gilds."
Gilda: "Hey Dash, I gotta catch up with the other Lodgers. If ya need me, I'll likely be with Icky. And, try to be patient with Trixie. (Flies off)."
Rainbow Dash: "No sweat. Unlike Wild Blue Yonder, the Sky Dragon's not going anywhere."
Trixie: "(Comes up) Well good, (Magicly drags Rainbow by the tail) Because we are marching STRAIGHT into my uncle and his friend Big Bucks."
Rainbow Dash: "Yeesh, at least Granny Smith and company want to do their own things."
Trixie: "Hardy har har! (Drags out Rainbow Dash completely)...."
Applejack: ".... Hehehe, and people say I'm uptight about mah family."
Granny Smith: "(Deadpan) Ya kinda are, sometimes. (To the trio) As soon as we're done unpacking, it's off to the buffet!"
Applejack: "But only healthy things!"
Goldie: "Saw that coming."
Applesauce: "Predictable."
Apple Rose: "Well, at least it's something we're used to at this point."

Stage area.

Big Bucks and Jack Pot were seen setting up their next performance.
???: "There you two are."
Big Bucks and Jack Pot got worried as two burly suited Stallions came up, with a short midget of a pony at the center of the over-sized goons.
Big Bucks: "Oh, uh.... Mr. Loansy Shark, you, came earlier than the dept deadline."
Jack Pot: "We're already on our way to repay you we swear."
Mr. Loansy: "Oh, I'm sure you are, boys.... I'm just here to see if my investment is still worth it anymore. But, friendly advice, boys..... If this show ends up like the one where I loaned ya good money for those props.... You'll have a slumber party with the Sea Ponies?!"
The duo gulped.
Mr. Loansy and his big goons left.
Big Bucks: ".... How did we ended up in debt?"
Jack Pot: "Because YOU had to spend our normal budget to pay off the last accident?! This being WHY I had to ask Mr. Loansy, the Loans Shark of Las Pegasus, favors?!"
Big Bucks: "To be fair, that lawsuit got us badly about the knife trick going wrong?! That poor stallian and his, family jewels."
Jack Pot: "But, I like to believe we have gotten better this time. And we need to pull this off without more accidents. Not just because of Mr. Loansy, but.... My niece is going to watch us. It would devastate her if she saw her uncle, a sham of his former self."
Big Bucks: "Does she know about the dept?"
Jack Pot: "No, and I rather keep it that way! It's my problem, and she doesn't need to concern herself with it."
Big Bucks: "I'm just saying, she'll find out anyway if she either runs into Mr. Loansy in any timeframe before, during or after the show, or if disaster strikes, again."
Jack Pot: "Don't worry, my niece trusts my word as if I'm a disciple of Celestia herself. She never has any reason to believe otherwise with me."
???: Oh, really? (Trixie and Rainbow Dash appeared)
Jack Pot:... Aw s***! Um, Trixie, um, whatever you might've heard-
Trixie: We're getting you out of it, because it's RAINBOW'S fault you had to get yourself in that debt.
Rainbow Dash: OH, SURE, MAKE ME LOOK BAD! I EXPECT NO LESS FROM YOU!
Trixie: YOU MEAN LIKE WHEN YOU MADE HIM LOOK BAD?!
Big Bucks: Um, is this really happening?
Trixie:... Sorry.
Jack Pot: It's alright. So, um... Are you REALLY willing to help me?
Rainbow Dash: Well, given it's my fault you're here... In a way.
Trixie: THE WHOLE WAY!
Rainbow Dash: (She shoves her hat top in her mouth)... I might have a few ideas to spice up your show.
Jack Pot: I hope so. This magic show is going to save my career.
Rainbow Dash: Well, since Trixie's forcing me to do it, not that I wouldn't do it otherwise, but her whining is making it harder, I'll have to put my all into it.
Jack Pot:... Well?
Rainbow Dash: WELL, what exactly is the best illusion trick out there besides that cannon and lion thing?
Big Bucks: "Well, anything else from Hoofdini's roster of tricks, for starters."
Jack Pot: No, those have been done to death. We need something new. Something, well, out of the blue!
Rainbow Dash: (Scoffs) What about the cannon and lion in the opposite direction?
Trixie: Gross, and no. And by no, I mean HECK no! We need to perform a trick normally perceived as impossible, if that's even the appropriate word.
Jack Pot:... What about... The magic trick that Hoofdini never could pull off?
Trixie:... My Alicorns, you don't mean...
Jack Pot: Yes. What if, instead of a lion... It was a Zahhak?
Trixie:... No! THAT'S SUICIDE!! ONCE YOU GET IN THERE'S NO COMING OUT!! EVEN IF YOU CARVED YOUR WAY OUT, WITH ITS THICK HIDES CONTAINING SNAKES, SPIDERS, AND SCORPIONS, YOU'LL NEVER SURVIVE! They always come out if you carve it inside or outside.
Jack Pot: Well, there's little left that's new. I.... Don't exactly have a choice.
Trixie:... YOU'RE MAD!! THAT SNAKE DRAGON WILL KILL YOU!!!
Jack Pot: If so, then I'll have at least died making stories.
Trixie: I, I CAN'T HAVE THIS!
Jack Pot: Oh, Trixie, I can assure you, I have the adequate precautions. I have been studying the trick for a long time. I can survive it.
Trixie: I seriously doubt that.
Rainbow Dash: "Yeesh Trixie, why the sudden backpeddle from wanting to a trick, Ms. "I shot myself into a Manacore"!"
Trixie: But at least Manticores can be trained to puke you back out if a trick goes wrong. But Zahhaks? THEY'RE aggressive! WE'RE TALKING A ZAHHAK!!! IN SPHINXIA, THEY'RE SNAKE-BODIED DRAGONS WITH LEGS, SOMETIMES COMING IN THREE HEADS, AND THEIR BODIES ARE FILLED WITH VENOMOUS ANIMALS, WHICH MEANS CUTTING IT OPEN FROM THE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE IS FATAL. THEY HAVE A THOUSAND SENSES, AND THEY CAN BREATH FIRE LIKE ANY OTHER DRAGON... BUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT, THEIR FIRE IS CHEMICAL FIRE! YOU KNOW, THE KIND THAT CAN'T BE PUT OUT BY WATER?!?
Rainbow Dash: ".... Okay, to be fair, I didn't know that much because me and my friends haven't met or fought one yet."
Trixie: "And count your stars blessed you haven't, cause I bet you, even Sparkle would struggle with a Zahhak!"
Rainbow Dash:... Well... Guess it's better now than never... Wait... No it isn't.
Jack Pot: Well... (Deep breath)... Let's get this over with.
Rainbow Dash: (Sighs) This is going to be crazy. You KNOW how hard it would be to catch something like that?
Big Bucks: "Oh, don't worry. I happen to know a guy who keeps creatures for a living. So happens that he's vacationing here with a Marefriend."
Rainbow Dash: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WHAT A COINCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNCE!!!
Trixie: Was that necessary?
Rainbow Dash: For somepony who lives in the world of cartoons, yes.

Elsewhere, at the Las Pegasus Swimming Pools

The Beast Dealer from "Trade Ya!" was seen with a mare that also seems to be a bit of a beast dealer as they enjoyed themselves at the pool.
A Sprite in Beast-Hunter Garb came up to the Male Beast Dealer.
Sprite: "Sir, the creatures in your giant caravan have been calmed down and have went to sleep, sir."
Beast Dealer Male: "Oh thank crud. Those things were getting me noise complaints."
Sprite: "Though I should mentioned that your newest addition, the Zahhak, tried to eat me.... AGAIN?!"
Beast Dealer Male: "You remembered using the whip?"
Sprite: "At, the last, minute. Then I had to smack it's inside-roommates back down its gullet! Why, a Zahhak of all things, they're not capable to be pets!?"
Beast Dealer Male: "A private beast collector from Pana is paying really good coins for that thing. We're only gonna hold on to that freak until the first of March. After that, Sheis, believe me, I'll be happy to get that thing off my back too, especially after how long it took me to grow my tail-hair back!"
Sheis: "Well, it's just, Whipsmack, ya sure it's a good idea to bring a caravan full of ferocious animals to a highly-populated area? Espeically when one of them's a top punk predator like a Zahhak? What if it gets out?"
Whipsmack: "Relax, I have the finest creature holding cages available, not even the smartest of them can get out for as long as the enchantment keys are away."
Sheis: "Ugh.... Whip Wapish, can you believe this guy?"
Whip Wapish (Female Beast Dealer): "I'm with Smack, the caravan is as well locked up as Celestia's Treasury. Not even a Gnat could get out of there."
???: Pardon e moi... (Rainbow and Trixie appeared)... Did you say, by any chance, you were selling a Zahhak, to someone from PANA?!
Whip Wapish:... Hey, I know you. You're the one who put your friend in service with me for a book.
Sheis: She did THAT?!... WOW! You're a douche.
Rainbow Dash: Look, it was a tough time, okay? (The Orthos from the episode came out and barked)
Whip Wapish: CALM DOWN, BOYS, IT'S NOT AN INTRUDER... As usual. But seriously, why is this Pana sale your business?
Rainbow Dash: Well, for starters, it's supposed to be a PRIVATE one?
Whipsmack: Yes?
Rainbow Dash: Um, you, DO know what's going on in Pana right now, right? Did you even ask questions?
Whipsmack: Course we did, but he said it was none of our business.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, did he? INTERESTING! Someone from Pana is looking for a killer snake dragon with a body full'a venomous animals....
Trixie: Yeah, no, this is DEFINITELY the Storm Clan trying to get revenge for Storm King.
Sheis: You don't know that!
Trixie: "Didn't you literally say Zahhaks don't make for good pets?"
Sheis: "Yes."
Trixie: "WELL WHY WOULD EVEN THE MOST PREPARED AND RICH ANIMAL COLLECTOR WANT TO RISK LIFE AND LIMB OWNING ONE?!"
Whipsmack: "Well, I would imagine that Panans are pretty hardcore. They have been said to have defeated Obsidian Dragons, after all."
Trixie: ".... Fair point, but outside of that!"
Silence....
Whipsmack: ".... Admittedly, this IS the first time anyone has ever asked for Zahhak."
Rainbow Dash: And why would anyone from Pana ask specifically for a Zahhak? A draconian creature? Dragons are hardcore creatures and the best slaves of Equestria's past. So, of all the types of dragons, why would they want THIS one?
Whipsmack: Um, because that's what animal collectors do.
Rainbow Dash: AND have you known ANYCREATURE who has successfully gotten access to one? These things were even said to be bringers of doom in Sphinxia. Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO!! And even if it wasn't the Storm Clan, do you really want to take that chance? It might be. It's better to be SAFE than SORRY.
Sheis:... He makes a fair point.
Whip Wopish: She.
Sheis: THAT'S A GIRL?!? I just, she acted and sounded almost like a guy.
Rainbow Dash:... Wow, haven't heard that in a long time. That's impressive.
Sheis: Ugh, tomboys really confuse me.
Whipsmack: "(Sighs) Much as I REALLY hate to give up that money the collector's offering, ya convinced me. I'll cancel the order. But you'll have to compensate me by getting the Zahhak off my inventory, cause that thing is too much for even me to handle. And I have an Orthros."
Big Bucks: "Well it just so happens that we were gonna ask you for one for the show. We needed to do a unique trick with it."
Whipsmack: "Well, I'll advise ya to be careful. I don't think Zahhaks are good performance animals neither."
Rainbow Dash: That's the idea, pal.
Trixie: Let's hope this crazy stunt gets Jack Pot out of his debt, or if he pays with his own life.
Sheis:... A-
Rainbow Dash: Don't ask. (They left)
Whip Wopish:... How often do those ponies get in unusual situations like that?
Sheis: You're ponies yourselves, you tell me.

Elsewhere in Las Pegasus.

The Grannies were already finding themselves at the buffet.
Granny Smith: Finally!
Applejack: Remember, Granny, nothing too unhealthy.
Granny Smith: Oh, bugger off, I may be old, but ah don't need ya watching over me and tellin' me what to eat and what not to eat. But hey, I ain't eatin' no massive fatteners.
Applejack:... Um... Good for you?
Granny Smith: "Hey give me credit, Applejack, I may be trying to have fun, but I'm still trying to watch my girlish figure."
Applejack:... Again... Good for you?
Granny Smith:... Okay, we're done here. (The four left)
Pony Rick: Okay, seriously, what is your d-*BEEEEEERP*-eal with us being here?!
Savio: Well, your show speaks for itself that nowhere you go is spared from your chaos... Most of the time.
Pony Morty: Geez, Mr. Snake, we're just here for THE SKY DRAGON XXXXXXXL.
Pony Rick: S-Seriously, what's with the seven Xs? That's going to raise so many flags. Cause it uh, it feels like it's compensating for something.
Icky: "Yeah I have to admit, I have to question the marketing team for the name."
Pony Rick: But hey, it's not intentional, or forced like... ONE incident.

Cutaway

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Present

Pony Rick: People these days are i-*BIIIIIIIIIRP*-diots!!!
Iago: No, EVERYONE'S dumber compared to you.
Pony Morty: Yeah, um, that's kind of true, Rick.
Icky: "Look, how's about we be cool to you guys and let ya hang out for until you get to do the ride. But you have to promise to vamoose after that, kay?"
Pony Rick: "Fair enough, (Burps), we're mostly gonna wait for the lines to tinkle down though, cause waiting's a pain in the horse butt!"
Iago: I KNOW RIGHT?!? One time, by the time it was our turn, THE ENTIRE DAMN COASTER CLOSED!!!
Pony Morty:... It's SO surreal that we're standing in the midst of cartoon characters. I didn't even know cartoon characters could even exist in the multiverse.
Pony Rick: It's a random multiverse, Morty. Anything can exist, even something made on a stupid piece of paper. Your mind would be fucked if I mentioned even HALF of the craziest things that exist in their own dimensions.... Wait... Why wasn't THAT part censored?
Iago: Eh, the producer doesn't censor like MSM does.... For some reason.
Duke: Eh, not the first time any f****r forgot to censor a naughty word. Remember DBZA episode 34? "Wait, what, WHERE'S YOUR CONDOM?! THE FUCK'S A CONDOM?!" SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS THE BEEP?! And don't forget Episode 48. "KIIIKOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUUUUUCK!!" SERIOUSLY!!!
Pony Rick: Like I said... Dumb.
Pony Morty: Rick, dumb isn't the same as forgetful.
Pony Rick: Might as well be.
Icky: "Annnnd now I'm depressed being reminded of DBZA cause TFS decided to stop making DBZA as it was, thanks to production ruts, copyright BS and just losing the love for it."
Pony Rick: "Hey if it helps, there's like, a quadrillion different dimensions where DBZA is still continuing, but, be warned, a lot of them started to become plagued with seasonal rot, meme-cringe, which is worse in the Memeverse, and even more so with the shrewd product placement a lot of YouTube videos do nowadays. I mean, it's hard to watch videos anymore without in video advertisements for delivery shaving and self-care crap, make your own food delivery, and freaking Raid Shadow Legends. (An Advert for such tried to sneak in)"
Icky: "AW NOT YA DON'T, WE'RE NOT GONNA JOIN THE SELLOUT BANDWAGON?! (Pulls out a Baseball bat and starts hitting the advert) NOW GET OUT OF HERE, GET, GET, GET?!" (It left)
Pony Morty:... So... Um... Yeah... We'll get out of your way. We're CLEARLY a sundial for ads. (Shivers) That Pringles drone assimilation process was... Wicked.
Savio: "Yeah, it's amazing how passively aggressive companies are these days about advertising their stuff, even if it's of quality." (The two left as Pony Rick farted on them)
Pony Rick: ExcUUUUUse me! (Laughs as everyone groaned in disgust)
Skipper:... Well, now that we got the scene many people were waiting for out of the way, even though we did technically already address this in another episode, what about... Whatever happens next?
Icky: "We may as well go out of our way and keep an eye out for the ineditable main bad of the episode."
Skipper: Can it PLEASE be a D-list villain?
Rico: Yeah!
Ed Hyena: HUAHAHAHAHAH!!
Shenzi: Eh, I wouldn't expect any miracles.
Icky: I miss that Randy Savage Slim-Jim guy.
SpongeBob: Guys, let's not just tempt fate and bring any bad luck on us.
(Deadpool): Even D-List bad guys have some charm to them. Just look at Kite-Man! AND HE'S FROM DC! Usually they're all about having the "SERIOUS" villains!
Everyone: SHUT UP!! (Deadpool left)
Icky: "Let's be honest guys, usually the D and C listers are reserved for warm-up sessions for the real main bad anyway, cause even if one DOES show up, it's not gonna satisfy the plot and we're still gonna face a more serious problem."
Iago: Well, everyone needs their chance. But hey, it's kinda retarded to ASK for a villain attack.
Kowalski: Eh, odds are it'll be yet ANOTHER grudge-holding EEA member.
Icky: Oh, that's right, we're STILL stuck there.
Bill: Look, we'll get to them someday.
Lord Shen: Indeed, we will. We just need to ensure that nothing endangers ANYBODY here.
Dodger: I'm sure we'll find an EEA member right under our noses. We just need to look out for each other the entire time.
Einstein: Are you sure?
Tito: COURSE WE'RE SURE!!! WE'RE CARTOONY, BUT WE AIN'T STUPID, MAYN!!
Banzai: Voice twin, villains have good travel agents. TRUST me. Just use your damn noses.
Rita: I don't think you know what a sense of smell means. We smell people, NOT bad guys specifically. You KNOW THAT!
Banzai: I MEANT smell in a FIGURATIVE definition!
Sam: Yeah, it's pretty obvious. But still, you should be more specific on your figurative language.
Creeper: So, yeah, I guess we got this. (They separated back to keeping watch)
Po: "We got this in the bag."
Gilda: SUUUUUUURE we do.

Chapter 2: Lady Luck-Out and Speed Luck

Casino Entrance.

A Pegasus Mare with an extremely long mane blocking out a quarter of her face but her eye and snout was seen walking in with an older pony that has a scowl-face.
Mare: "(Disinterested tone) Well Grandma, we're like, here now."
The Mare's Grandmother: "I'm aware of it, Speed Luck. Honestly, I don't know why your mother made you come with me."
Speed Luck: "Well, like, it's because she knows you're still like, upset about the EA thing."
The Mare's Grandmother: That's E.E.A., young lady!
Speed Luck: "Like, not nessersarly wrong though, just off by one litter. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know you're a tough old bat of a pony and like, can handle yourself, but, given what happened to O'Hardknocks and the fashion pony, she's like, worried you'll get stupid ideas, Grandma Luck-Out."
Luck-Out: "Can we honestly blame O'Hardknocks and Mode for acting out like they did? The E.E.A. collapsed because University lost his nerve over Neighsay being a nincompoop."
Speed Luck: "Which like, makes it super worse cause, didn't you mentor him and his brother?"
Luck-Out: "Speed, what did I say about putting salt into old wounds?"
Speed Luck: "Sorry Grandma, didn't know you're still super salty about it... NO PUN INTENDED, I SWEAR!! Ahem. It's why Mom asked me to accompany you to Las Pegasus."
Luck-Out: "Ugh, just be sure to behave yourself and let me have fun with the one only thing that makes me happy with the E.E.A. gone: Gambling."
Speed Luck: "Yes Grandma. But... Just don't bet TOO much."
Luck-Out: Uh, how long do you think I've been doing this? I may be old, but I'm NOT DUMB!
Speed Luck: I don't know... Wait, why did I say that? Ugh, whatever, just, go do your thing. I'll go check out the funfair. You got a way for us to like, find each other when we're done? Like, this place is huge and like, has a lotta ponies here.
Luck-Out: "We'll meet at the buffet after I'm winning a fortune."
Speed Luck: Which one? (They saw there were buffets everywhere)
Luck-Out:... Alittle excessive on the buffets, aren't they? Ugh, just look in each one, and we'll eventually find each other, okay?
Speed Luck: "Maybe like, we should pick a specific buffet and meet eachother there?"
Luck-Out: "Okay fine, when I'm done gambling, I'll be at, (Holds hoof around directory and picks one), Herb O'Vore's Flower Palooza Buffet."
Speed Luck: Sounds good. (They separated)

Gambling Section.

Luck-Out arrived to the Gambling section and arrived to the betting table.
Bets Taker: "Welcome to the bet's table. Today's game is Dragon Racing. Today's participating dragons are Speed Demon Greg, Second-Best Gertie, 3rd Rate Jones, Unlikely Charlie, and Impossible Odds Devon."
Luck-Out: "... (Takes the time to look at her personal necklace, of which began to show her a vision of Impossible Odds Devon winning the race of a burst of speed thanks to a fire fart!).... (Smiles, then places down a bag of bits)..... A Billion on Impossible Odds Devon."
Bets Taker: "My, are we daring for a little old lady? Impossible Odds Devon is extremely unlikely to win cause he's a frail old dragon."
Luck-Out: "Never rule out yer elders, boy."
Bets Taker: "Very well, madam. A Billion Bits on Impossible Odds Devon."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: "Tch, big mistake, granny. (Places down an even bigger bag of bits) Bet all on Speed Demon Greg! That dragon, NEVER loses."
Bets Taker: "An ambitious but safe bet, sir. A Zillion on Speed Demon Greg."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: "Hehehe, sweet moolah, here I come."
Luck-Out: "Tch, you griffins and your greed fetish."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: "HEY WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NO REASON TO GET RACIST, YA HOLD HAG?!"
Luck-Out: "I can say the same thing about you being AGEST?!"
Bouncer: "(Intervenes) Hey hey, take it easy, people, we're here to have good clean gambling fun."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: ".... Tch, fine. I hope you didn't just betted your granddaughter's college fund, granny, cause you made a sucker's bet."
Luck-Out: "Well I hope you didn't just haplessly betted yer entire treasure hoard, Griffin, cause you'd be amazed on how quickly destiny can be fickle. (Walks off)..."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: ".... Tch, (Quietly) Old Hag. Forgot to take her meds this morning, CLEARLY!"

Dragon Race Ring.

Flim and Flam were seen in the announcers' seats
Flim: "WELCOME TO THE DRAGON RACING RING?!"
Flam: "The race is about to start soon and you'll see a race of epic proportions! Let's hope ya made a good bet today!"
Luck-Out:... Alright. This oughta be good.
Flam: Alright, dragons... Start, your, wings.... Ready... Set... FLY! (Suddenly, just as the Dragons flew off into the track, Impossible Odds Devon, did exactly as what Luck-Out's necklace predicted, and farted fire extremely as he crossed the finish line before even the photo-finish photographer can react)... WOW! Winner is, IMPOSSIBLE ODDS DEVON!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!
Flim: COURSE NOT!! HENCE WHY HE WAS NAMED IMPOSSIBLE ODDS DEVON?!
Gruff Gambler Griffin: (His beak jaw-dropped cartoonishly)
Luck-Out: See why they call me 'Luck-Out'? I can read probabilities like magic. And I can assure you, it's NOT because of magic.

Bets Table.

Bets Taker: "Well, I guess the winnings all go to miss Luck-Out."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: I DON'T OWE YOU S***!!! YOU THINK WE'RE STUPID?! THIS BIZ IS RIGGED!!! DEVON WAS DRUGGED!!!
Bets Taker: "Hey, that fire fart came out of nowhere to us, too!"
Gruff Gambler Griffin: STILL! LADY, YOU RIGGED THE WHOLE THING BY DRUGGING DEVON!!
Luck-Out: Oh, sure, the sore loser accuses the winner of rigging the whole thing.
Gruff Gambler Griffin: AND WHY NOT?!? EVERYONE LITERALLY VOTED AGAINST DEVON, EXCEPT YOU! DOESN'T THAT SOUND THE TINIEST BIT SUSPICIOUS?!?
Luck-Out: Ohhhhhhhh, yes. BUT, what's more likely? A frail old woman like me with a gambling streak too high to remember who KNOWS cheating would get me caught and likely banned from gambling forever WOULD CHEAT... OR, that Flim and Flam were the ones who gave Devon that powerup so that they wouldn't have to give up anything if Speed Demon Greg, LITERALLY THE ONE WHO EVERYPONY BET ON, obviously won?
Gruff Gambler Griffin:............ OR, even take everything from people who bet WHAT THEY HAVE on it?!
Luck-Out: Exactly.
Bets Taker: "Now hold on a minute, I know the new owners have abit of a shakey reputation, but they are trying to ease away from that sort'of life ever since the holiday fiasco with their uncle."
Gruff Gambler Griffin: "Can anyone really trust your word on it since THEY HAVE YOUR PAYCHECK ON THE VICE?!"
Bets Taker: "Oh sure, automatically distrust my word because I'm an employee under their management, never mind that I have seen them improve. Sure, they had their relapses, but-"
Gruff Gambler Griffin: But nothing. Seems the most likely... Unless, someone ELSE did it to frame THEM after one of THEIR scams in the past.
Luck-Out: Only one who seems the most likely... IS HIM! (She points at the Gruff Gambler Griffin)
Gruff Gambler Griffin: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?
Luck-Out: We all know griffins are swindlers too.
Gruff Gambler Griffin: EXCUSE ME?!?
Bets taker: "Aw gees, is this REALLY gonna go back to the racist thing?"
Luck-Out: Must I remind you of-
Gruff Gambler Griffin: GOLDSTONE WAS NOT A REPRESENTATION OF ALL GRIFFINS, AND YOU KNOW IT!! THAT DAY HAS PUT ALL OF US IN SUCH A BAD REP!!! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF RIGGING THE ENTIRE THING?! I BET ON GREG!!!
Luck-Out: Yeah, the perfect cover.
Gruff Gambler Griffin: I BET ALL I HAD AGAINST DEVON!! HOW DO I BENEFIT FROM THIS IF I JUST LOST MY MONEY?!
Luck-Out: It's called trying to stir commotion and controversy baiting. Something I can believe you're all too familiar with. AND you'd end up scamming them back because, eeehhhhh, we all know who YOU are. YOU'RE the son of a high-profile griffin crime lord. Betting all you have on this, means you're essentially starting a crime war.
Gruff Gambler Griffin: DADDY WANTED THAT!! (He covered his beak)
Luck-Out:... Voila. You lost, Crime-Lord-Prince Raffle.
Gruff Gambler Griffin (CLP Raffle): Who's that? I'm not that guy.
Bets Taker: "(Facehooves) Oh what is it with Casinos and Crime? Why does gambling have to be so appealing to crooks?"
Luck-Out: "They always appear wherever money's involved. Now you may as well admit it, because the Bouncers are getting stirred."
Raffle looked and saw the bouncers paying note to this......
Raffle: ".... Nuts! Okay fine! I, snuck into the Dragon's break room and laced Devon's gemstones with Magma Pepper Essence! I understood that those things give him literally explosive gas, so it was perfect!"
Bets Taker: "But you looked so surprised from it!"
Raffle: "I simply didn't think it would've worked THAT WELL NOR THAT QUICKLY!"
Bets Taker: "Aw gees, poor Devon. And here I thought it was finally the happiest day of his life before his retirement next week. He never won a race in his entire career, well, fairly, I mean. Knowing how a griffin gave him gemstones contaminated with Magma Peppers would break his heart.... Well that and Magma Peppers are not allowed for consumption for racer dragons. He'll be barred from the remaining races of the week until retirement day."
Raffle: "Hey, at least he knows a SIMULATION of what being a winner is like!"
Bets Taker: Simulations are STILL false. That's worse than losing. YOU'RE BANNED!
Raffle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (Luck-Out just bucked him out as he kept screaming the word)
Luck-Out:... You're welcome for busting another crime lord... Or his son, at least.
Bets Taker: "How did you figure, though?"
Luck Out: "Call it, an old mare's intuition. (Luck Out left, as she looked at her necklace again with a green Clover-Jewel, which had priorly shown that Raffle did in fact had connections to what he had admitted).... (Quietly) Alchourse, the Luck-Clover Amulet of the Luck Alicorn, is a good guide of that intuition, with its visions of future and past tenses and all. (Chuckles quietly as she left)...."

Funfair

Speed Luck: (She zoomed straight in and cartoonishly zoomed across each attraction and writing a list)... Mmmm.... I can't choose. I'll TRY THEM ALL! (Resumes speeding around in unprecedented speed!)
Carrot Dog Guy: "Carrot Dogs! Carrot Dogs! Get yer carrot dogs here- (She zoomed in, took one, and left some bits in its place)... Okay."
Game Carny: "Step right up, hit the dart on the bullseye 90 times perfectly, win a prize, which includes a limited edition autograph-signed Spitfire Plushie from Spitfire herself, worthwhile prize with impossible odds-"
Speed Luck: (Zoomed up) Aw, c'mon, are you ASKING for a challenge like me? Watch THIS! (She got the prize by doing the job perfectly)... Whew. I'm on fire.
Game Carny:... Well shut my mouth. I haven't seen a champion like this since Rainbow Dash. She was the last pony to complete this challenge and win the exact same prize.
Speed Luck: Well, looks to me like I aced HER high score! (RD had 50,000 points while SL had 500,000)... So, yeah, you're looking at ANOTHER future Wonderbolt in the making. (Everypony cheered as she zoomed off)
Game Carny: Spectacular! Where did THIS mare come from?
Another Game Carny: "Your guess is as good as mine!" (Speed Luck zoomed straight by Rainbow Dash and Trixie, who had just finished bringing in the Zaddak to Jack Pot)
Rainbow Dash: WHAT THE HECK?!?
Trixie: CELESTIA'S OVARIES!!
Rainbow Dash:... Who was THAT?!
Game Carne: Who knows? She came and beat your high score, Miss Dash.
Rainbow Dash:... SHE DID WHAT?!? (She zoomed up and saw it)... (Her jaw cartoonishly dropped)...
Trixie: Rainbow?
Rainbow Dash: Alright, I need to chat with this glory horse.
Trixie: RAINBOW, YOU PROMISED!
Rainbow Dash: Relax, drama queen, I'm not going to be out of that show forever.
Trixie: Is your ego really worth missing some time with us? My uncle could use a LOT of help with that Zaddak.
Rainbow Dash: Hey, I'm Rainbow Dash. I'll be there in no time flat. (She zoomed off)
Trixie:... Ugh! I swear, that ego of hers is going to get her in trouble.

Casino Plaza.

Speed Luck was sitting down on an in-door bench and drinking a Funfair Slushie as Rainbow Dash trotted by her, then noticed the Spitfire doll she had....
Rainbow Dash: "(Got up to Speed Luck) Yo! You're the one who busted by hi-score?!"
Speed Luck: "So like, I take it you're Rainbow Dash then?"
Rainbow Dash: "Well unless you see any other Rainbow Maned Ponies around, YES!"
Speed Luck: "Well then.... S'up girl? (Casually drinks slushie)."
Rainbow Dash: "What's the big idea busting up my high score?"
Speed Luck: "Hey like, nothing personal, Rainbow, it's just a game."
Rainbow Dash: "You had any idea how hard I had to train to beat that carnival game back there?!"
Speed Luck: "You uh, trained hard to throw a dart on a circular piece of wood?"
Rainbow Dash: "How is it that you were able to break that record?"
Speed Luck: "I- Wait, hang on, pee break?! (Zooms off extremely quickly that flabbergasted Rainbow Dash as the sounds of quick door shuts were heard, then followed by a slam open as Speed Luck went back to sit down).... Okay, remind me the question?"
Rainbow Dash: "..... Your bathroom trip was enough of an answer..... HOW ARE YOU SO FAST?!"
Speed Luck: "Kinda came from having a heritage with my dad's side of the family. The Speedskies were known for their speed."
Rainbow Dash: "THE, SPEEDSKIES?! THE FASTEST PEGISI IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA?! EVEN MORE THEN THE WONDERBOLTS?!"
Speed Luck: "And top racers. it's like in the genes. So, nice chatting with ya. (Zooms off)."
Rainbow Dash: "...... I'm, conflicted, to find this awesome and consider her an awesome candidate for the Wonderbolts, but my pride is still aching from the hi-score.... And it's coupled with the urge to race her, BADLY, cause of title of being considered the fastest pony alive, feeling challenged.... And I don't know which side to listen to.... (Zooms off to find Trixie!)"

Trixie's Show

Jack Pot:... So, you guys got the Zahhak?
Trixie: Yep. Saved it from a likely case of serving the Storm Clan too.
Fidget: Well THAT'S a relief. Nice gut instinct, Trix.
Trixie: Um... Sure.
Rainbow Dash: (She zoomed in) GUYS! I JUST MET F*****G SPEED LUCK!!!
Icky:...... Are we supposed to know her?
Rainbow Dash: A-... YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE SPEEDSKIES ARE?!? SHE'S ONE'A THEM!! THEY BEAT THE WONDERBOLTS IN A SKY MARATHON YEARS AGO!! They're so fast, they can react in a nanosecond.
Trixie: "Well that sounds like you finally found someone capable to give you a run for your money."
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. I NEVER thought I'd meet one IN MY LIFE!... But... Why IS she here?
Icky: "Well if I have to guess, chances are, she could be here Granny-Sitting her Granny like Applejack is."
Skipper: What makes you think that?
Icky: "This entire episode is based on the MLP:FIM episode "Grannies Gone Wild", YOU, tell me!"
Skipper: PRETTY sure there's more to it than that.
Joe: Yeah, it's not like all of Las Pegasus is a retirement home or something.
Girl Sora: Uh-huh.
Icky: Maybe not, but keep in mind that it doesn't mean old folks aren't common here.
Patrick: "What makes ya say that?"
Icky: "(Points to a collection of Old Ponies having a picnic in the mall foodcourt like area) Hmm?"
Patrick: "Oh that's not so much."
Icky: "(Points to a Large Line of Old Ponies seeing a reunion concert for a defunct old-school band) HmmmMMM?!"
Patrick: "(Less sure) So? That's just a bunch of fans of some old school band from the past."
Icky: "(Comedically points to random groups of Older Ponies doing other activities) HmmMMMMMM?! HmmmMMMMMM?! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!?"
Icky then takes the shocked Lougers to see that outside, there's an entire swarm of Old Ponies touring Las Pegasus.
Skipper: ".... Ah. I see your point. My apologies for underestimating that apparently, old folks love gambling."
Icky: "Trust me, I know this from experience from my own escapades to casinos. Ya would be amazed how often Old Folks come to places like this."
Girl Sora: "Well it's still a bit of a stretch to assume she's here cause of her Grandmother."
Icky: "Then you tell me: Why else is a speedster here? Speedsters are about action while gambling requires methodological thinking. Something most speedsters don't have the patience for."
Tai: "Tell that to Sonic."
Icky: "That guy has gambling BUILT around speed! I'm talking gambling that needs to make you THINK!"
Lord Shen: "Aren't you sure she isn't just as much here to try out that new roller coaster?"
Icky: Not many oldsters are able to withstand a roller coaster.
Chaos: Yeah, idiot.
Lord Shen: CHAOS!
Chaos: Hey, just saying, it's stupidly obvious.
Rainbow Dash: Can you guys just go back to keeping an eye out for danger?
Private: We're not exactly here to JUST be on duty. Even security guards need their breaks.
Rainbow Dash: "... Okay, then, after that, can I trust you guys to look out for trouble?"
Phil: "Our eyes are peeled."
Spongebob literally and cartoonishly peeled his eyes where it's just a layer for his normal eyes again!
Phil: "IT'S METAPHORICAL, KID?!"
SpongeBob: We're cartoons. We turn figurative into literal. Let's bounce. (They spread across the area looking out for danger while also watching the sights)

Ring-Toss Area.

Granny and the others were seen scoring heavily once more as this was witnessed by Lady Luck-Out, who was quick to view into her luck necklace to reveal in a vision that she's the grandmother of Applejack, of whom is connected to the School of Friendship.... Luck-Out couldn't believe the odds of running into her. Luck-Out had figured that Granny Smith was likely told of a lot of information about the kind of vulnerabilities the School of Friendship is likely to have, espeically if it involves the kooky professor, Buzzord.
Granny and the other Golden mares won the Ring Toss Game and were given tokens and other prizes.
Luck-Out: "(Approaches them with slow wing-claps) Very impressive, ladies."
Granny Smith: "Thanks Stranger."
Applesauce: "We always have time for fans."
Luck-Out: "This is admittedly my first-time meeting you, but I am so admiring of your skill, well I simply HAVE to get to know you mares. I was heading for the Sauna to ease my pores. Care to join me?"
Golden Apple: "Cowinky Dink, we were thinking of going there too!"
Apple Rose: "How lovely."
Granny's group got with Luck-Out.
Granny Smith: "So what's yer name?"
Luck-Out had to play it safe on the off-chance they're familiar with the E.E.A. and members....
Luck-Out: ".... Clover Fourleaves."
Applesauce: "(Bemused chuckle), Ya mean like "Four-Leafed Clover"? Well fittingly enough, March is associated with luck, what with the holiday dedicated to the Princesses of Luck being considered and all."
Granny Smith: "So I take it with the name like that, you're good with luck."
Luck-Out: "You could, say that."

Sauna

The Golden Mares and Luck-Out were enjoying the Sauna.
Applesauce: This SHOULD help our... Wrinkly skin.
Granny Smith: Eh, old-timers like us get used to it. And hey, we spend too much time here, we get wrinkly anyway.
Applecause: Haha.
Apple Rose: "So, how have things been for Applejack?"
Granny Smith: "Ya know, same old same old. I hear that nutty old buzzard Buzzord was trying to turn the School of Friendship into a mobile building. He ended up getting the school stuck in the mud in Everfree. I heard Twilight literally threw a fiery fit at that!"
Applesauce: "I'm sure Eureka tried to stop him."
Granny Smith: "Actually this happened while she was visiting family, so he ended up unregulated on doing shenanigans until she came back. Fortunately, Gaia Everfree was generous enough to move the school back befer any critters had any idears."
Luck-Out: ".... And in spite of this, Sparkle never thought of firing him?"
Applesauce: "I like this mare already."
Granny Smith: "Well, it's because the kook literally has nowhere else to go. That, and it might be better if he's contained within the School than going around the world causing more shenanigans to happen."
Luck-Out: "But don't you think it's worse, that a proven nutcase, that's prone to random mayhem is allowed to stay in the school?"
Golden Apple: "Well if ya want to talk like them E.E.A. folks 'bout it, then maybe. But apart from that, he has gotten better."
Applesauce: "Provided Eureka's around to keep him in check, of course."
Luck-Out:... Mmmm... has Twilight even considered, well... Making him less, destructive?
Granny Smith: Eh, magic ethics are a bitch sometimes. Everypony keeps sayin' that mind-based spells are wrong. I mean, I do get where those ethicists came from, but at the same time, alot of problems could've been prevented or at least better managed if it wasn't fer them.
Luck-Out: Well, they kind of are. It's a violation of free will and comes across as a forceful change of one's self.
Granny Smith: Well, ya ask me, maybe it's gotta be done for the best.
Luck-Out: (Sighs) Miss Smith, you need to understand, sometimes the best isn't the best. As pushy as the EEA might be at that School, they have their reasons. Magic has rules that need to be followed.
Granny Smith: Well, don't blame me. Ah AM from Ponyville.
Luck-Out:... Well, THAT explains it. Ponyvillians are known for their... VERY low-class traditions.
Apple Rose: LOW-CLASS?!?
Luck-Out: Hey, make no mistake, it's not ME who's saying that mean stuff. Ponies and other races out there DO see tradition as... Well... A familial term for being weak.
Granny Smith: We've had this tradition for generations. We ALWAYS practice important events without magic. What would the founders say?
Luck-Out: They'd say move on.
Applesauce: Really?
Luck-Out: It's a changing world out there, ladies. So, those who don't change must be left behind. Let's just say, ponies have learned that the hard way in certain events, including the Storm King's attack 3 years ago. Point is, the EEA wanted to push the educational system to be much smarter and more proactive, especially since the military sucks eggs. And, one little incident undermined them. It's understandable to see why they'd take their disbanding so hard.
Applesauce: True, but they're still being a little mean.
Granny Smith: Almost seems like YOU were one of them with the way yer talking.
Luck-Out: Well, whatever, we can't solve problems with any magic. That comes across as lazy and really irresponsible. Buzzord must change himself and not by force. Do I agree that he shouldn't be like that? Yes! But would we be any different if we FORCED it with magic?
Granny Smith:... Well... No.
Luck-Out: There you go. In fact, I feel that something should be done about this. You want people like Buzzord to be better? Maybe the School of Friendship should use a little... Aid. Maybe talk to Applejack about, some little overhauls.
Granny Smith: Oh, ah lost count how many times ah tried. Applejack just keeps saying that Buzzord is fine.
Luck-Out: And how many times has he caused damage and mayhem?
Granny Smith:... Ah lost count of that too. But fair's fair, that has gone down when Eureka's around.
Luck-Out: All the same though, I do believe we have an agreement. Fact, I'll talk to her and her friends. I'll even bring my granddaughter Speed Luck with me. I hear one of Applejack's friends is a quickster like Speedy.
Granny Smith: Eh, good luck with that.
Luck-Out:... You forget what my name is. Clover Fourleaves. Luck is my specialty.
Applesauce: "Well I bet you win a lot of earnings in Las Pegasus if that's the case."
Luck-Out: You have no idea. NO, alicorn-damn idea.

Jack Pot's Show

The show was getting a full house, which included Loansy and his goons.
Loansy: Alright, boys. If this magic trick of his fails to get enough money, you know what to do. (They all chuckled)
Goon #1: I got pure titanium horseshoes for the occasion.
Loansy: (Chuckles) Then this will be fun. (Jack Pot appeared on stage and he squealed in low-frequency when he say Loansy and the others, Goon #1 showing him his titanium horseshoes)
Jack Pot:... Uhhhhh... Hello, everypony. Welcome to the show. Today, I'm going to do something not even the great Hoofdini could accomplish. I shall perform... THE SUNSHOT ZAHHAK MOUTH DIVE! (Everyone was shocked)
Loansy:... Change of plans, boys, we don't need to beat the tar out of him if he fails. (They all groaned in frustration)
Goon #1: F***! I REALLY WANNA TRY THESE HORSESHOES OUT!!
Filly #1: Mommy, what does f*** mean?
Mother: HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!?
Goon #1: Oh, um, sorry. Just, don't put soap in his mouth, that seems like child abuse to me. Have him brush his teeth all day instead. That's a better way to wash his mouth out.
Loansy: Well, wah-wah, you'll have your chance. If this fails, he'll get himself killed. (They showed the Zahhak as everyone freaked)... Ohhhhh, boy. I should've brought popcorn.
Jack Pot: Now, hold your gasps, as I attempt to defy the beast's jaws of doom and appear inside this black box. (Under his breath) The keyword being "attempt".
Loansy: "Oh this is gonna be a blood bath."
Jack Pot: To pull off such an amazing feat, I will need the help of my assistant...
Loansy: "(Quietly) What assistant, dare I ask?"
Jack Pot:... I SAID, to pull off such an amazing feat, I will need the help of my assistant! (The audience is quiet and a couch is heard) WILL YOU GET OUT HERE?!
Loansy started to chuckle as does the goons!
Rainbow Dash: (Zoomed in quickly) POOF!
Trixie: (She teleported in through a puff of smoke) HAZZAH!
Jack Pot: AGAIN WITH THE MAKING ME LOOK BAD?!
Trixie: Relax, Uncle, we got this.
Loansy: C'MON! WE ALL KNOW THIS! YOU TELEPORT HIM OUT OF IT'S GULLET!! YOU'LL HAVE TO REALLY DO SOMETHING GOOD TO DEFY HOOFDINI IN ORDER TO PAY YOUR DEBT, AND YOU KNOW THE RULE OF ILLUSION!! NO MAGIC!!
Trixie: He's right, Uncle. We can't use magic.
Jack Pot: We can't? I mean, RIGHT! (Whispering) WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN'T?! THE MOONSHOT MANTICORE MOUTH DIVE DID IT!!!
Trixie: (Whispering) YES, BUT HOOFDINI DID IT WITHOUT MAGIC!
Jack Pot: (Whispering) HOW?!?
Trixie: (Whispering) You're the one performing the trick, you tell me!
Jack Pot: (Whispering) I THOUGHT WE WERE SUPPOSED TO USE MAGIC!!
Trixie: (Whispering) Well, Hoofdini wasn't famous for using magic to cheat!
Jack Pot: (Whispering) WELL HOW THE HECK DID HE DO IT?!
Trixie: (Whispering) A true magician never reveals his secrets.
Jack Pot: (Whispering) YEAH, NOW I KNOW WHY HE DIED!!! HE DIDN'T THINK THAT FAR AHEAD!! NO WONDER HE COULDN'T MASTER THIS MAGIC ACT!!
Trixie: "(Whispering) Actselly, he was just lost in another dimension and then brought back by three Draconequui Brothers to perform in their theme park."
Jack Pot: "(Whispering) Wow really?.... WELL IT'S NOT WE CAN ASK HIM EITHER WAY AT THE CURRENT TIME?!"
Trixie: (Whispering) WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT, OKAY?!
Jack Pot: (Whispering) NO, NOT OKAY! THIS IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT MAGIC!! HOOFDINI WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO PERFECTED THE M.M.M. DIVE, AND WE'RE IN NO POSITION TO GO AND ASK HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR SHOW?!
Trixie: (Whispering) WELL UNLESS YOU'D RATHER JUST FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH DIGESTION AND COME OUTTA THE THING'S BUTT, I... Wait... THAT'S IT!!
Jack Pot: (Whispering) What's it?
Trixie: (Whispering) THAT'S how he did it! He coated himself with some kind of protective suit. He WAS wearing a suit exactly like his coat on the day of the M.M.M. Dive. He literally just made his way out via the Manticore's literally LARGE intestines and came into the box via holes under the stage! IT'S BRILLIANT... And a little gross.
Jack Pot: (Whispering)... Makes, a TINY bit of sense... But... What about the Zahhak?
Loansy: WE'RE WAITING!
Rainbow Dash: LET THEM TALK!!! THEY'RE CLEARLY HAVING A FAMILY MOMENT!!!
Loansy: NO! WE WANT THE SHOW!! (Everyone cheered)
Rainbow Dash: EITHER YOU WAIT OR YOU HAVE NO SHOW AT ALL!!! (Everyone just paused)
Trixie:... (Whispering) I think I have an idea. (Openly) EVERYPONY, SORRY FOR THE DELAY, BUT, ALLOW US TO DO SOME, QUICK TWEAKS! (They shut the curtains and did some handy work before opening them back) Alright, here we go. Now it's time for the REAL act.
Rainbow Dash: SEE?! PRACTICE PATIENCE NEXT TIME!
Loansy: DON'T TELL US HOW TO EXPERIENCE THE SHOW, JUST GIVE IT TO US!
Jack Pot: WELL DON'T TELL US HOW TO DO OUR JOB, KILLJOY!! (Everyone booed at Loansy and his goons)
Loansy: ALRIGHT, FINE! (Rainbow Dash snickered)
Trixie: Alright, everypony. Here we go. (She teleported Jack Pot into the cannon)
Loansy: UH-UH-UH, NO MAGIC!
Trixie: THE ACT HASN'T EVEN BEGUN, STUPID!! (The audience booed at Loansy more)
Loansy: WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF?!
Trixie: YOU KNOCK IT OFF!
Loansy: I SAID SO FIRST!
Jack Pot: BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!! YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW!
Trixie: YEAH, LOANSY, YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW!
Jack Pot: THAT MEANS YOU TOO TRIXIE!
Trixie:... Okay.
Jack Pot:... (Deep breath)... I pray that I survive this with how disorderly this just became.
Rainbow Dash: Relax, JP, think of it as, added comedy. Now go get 'em!
Loansy: "Okay, now the momento of trutho."
Jack Pot: Oh, it will.... Just, WATCH! NO MAGIC! (After a bit of hesitation, in his blue coat-like suit, he launched himself inside the Zahhak)
Loansy: HAHA! He's TOTALLY dead. (A filly in the audience cried)
Trixie: Oh, it's not over.
Loansy: Oh, it is. Everypony knows that Zahhaks don't use digestive acid inside their stomachs. They instead use the venomous animals INSIDE them to do it. A kind of symbiosis if you will. The Zahhak AND the venomous animals inside share the same lifelink. If it dies, then so do they.
Trixie: Well, I can't explain the trick to you and ruin the act. So just watch. (After 20 seconds of worry, Jack Pot appeared in the box)
Jack Pot: TADAAAAA!!... (Everyone cheered and Loansy and his gang were flabbergasted)
Loansy: WHA, WHA, WHA, WHA-WHA-WHA, WHAT?! HOW?!?
Jack Pot: It's actually simpler than even Hoofdini thought it would be. You see, Zahhaks don't just share a life-link symbiosis with the venomous animals within them. Zahhaks are actually in of themselves giant hives for them. It's a living habitat. The snakes are actually its children. THEY prey upon spiders and scorpions in order to mature. So, Rainbow Dash said that she had a friend who said that you can easily make any animal, no matter how poisonous, docile by feeding it some food. The snakes were spared when RD purchased some... Fried spiders and scorpions from foreign lands of carnivorous and/or omnivorous races, EEEEEHHCK, gave some other fried spiders to the scorpions, AND for the spiders... Well... They'll take any meat, really. This suit helped keep me from being poisoned. With that, I was allowed safer passage through the system. And... Well... (He showed the hatch between the Zahhak AND the box)... Don't really make me go there. (The filly laughed)
Filly: THE ZAHHAK POOPED HIM OUT! (Laughed)
Jack Pot: So there you have it, mares and gentlecolts. The Sunshot Zahhak Mouth Dive, *smooch* perfecto. (Everyone cheered leaving Loansy and his goons flabbergasted as the venomous animals inside the Zahhak even applauded)
Loansy: ".... (Sighs), At least I'll make my money back with the dept about to be paid."
Stereotypical Dumb Goon: Duh, what happened to "magicians don't reveal their secrets"?
Loansy: (Punches him) Shaddup!
Stereotypical Dumb Goon: What'd I do, boss?
Jack Pot:... You two... SAVED MY FLANK!!!
Rainbow Dash: Eh, nothing much to it.
Trixie: Trixie gained a lot from the Lodgers.
Jack Pot:... Ugh, I thought you stopped referring to yourself in the third person, but APPARENTLY NOT!... Don't ever do it again! I'd never recognize you.
Trixie: (Laughs) You're starting to embarrass me.
Everyone: AWwwww!
Loansy: OH FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE, DON'T YOU PONIES HAVE FAMILIES?!?

Meanwhile...

Speed Luck was seen chilling in a jacuzzi with pickles slices on her eyes.
Speed Luck: Aww, yeah... Things like this are always worth the prices this place has. (Relaxed Sigh)....
Rainbow Dash: You DO know that those pickles are supposed to be cucumbers, right?
Speed Luck: Wait, what?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. Trust me, I know. I've been at the Ponyville Spa a lot.
Speed Luck:... ALRIGHT, WHO JUST PUNKED ME?!?
Spa Worker: "Oh I am so sorry madam. (Sternly) CHEEKY CHUCKLES?!"
Another Spa Worker Pony was seen snickering like Muttley.
Spa Worker: Here, I'll correct this right away. (Replaces the pickle slices with cucumber slices) Just don't sue.
Speed Luck: "Meh, it's cool."
Rainbow Dash:... So um... (She got into the jacuzzi with her)... What brings you in town? You got a granny to watch too?
Speed Luck: Is it THAT obvious?
Rainbow Dash: Hey, grannies are going into Las Pegasus a LOT lately for some reason. Maybe it's Elder Appreciation Day. I dunno. But, what I find surprising is that a FREAKING SPEEDSKY IS RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!
Speed Luck:... Huh. You sound like that rainbow pony tomboy I talked to earlier.
Rainbow Dash: Kinda because I AM. Rainbow Dash.
Speed Luck: Well, what're the odds you'd find me in a place as BIG as this?
Rainbow Dash: When you speed around, you become QUITE noticeable.
Speed Luck: I'm sure you're no stranger to quick showoffs.
Rainbow Dash: (Laughs) Yeah.
Speed Luck: "So, I bet you're seeking out the new Sky Dragon coaster too, right?"
Rainbow Dash: No WAY! You're here to try out the Sky Dragon XXXXXXXL, too?!
Speed Luck: "Tots. Though I feel like all those Xs are a bit much."
Rainbow Dash: It's for emphasis, to make it sound badass!
Speed Luck: "I can see that being why. My granny always assumed that maybe it was compensating for something. (The two laughed so hard)"
Rainbow Dash: I can't count how many times that popped into MY HEAD! (Laughs) That's often because I forget because every time I think about it, I can't keep a straight face.
Speed Luck: Me either. It's just too priceless! Classic sex humor.
Rainbow Dash: Um, this IS a public spa, we don't need to say it to any potential kids around.
Speed Luck: What kids would spend time here? Usually teenage or adult ages are when they want to spend time here.
Rainbow Dash: You'd be surprised. So, where IS your granny?
Speed Luck: Oh, she's somewhere in the spa... For the time being. She's supposed to negotiate with some ponies including this pony named 'Applejack' or something.
Rainbow Dash:... Wait... One of those old ladies she spoke to, didn't happen to be named Granny Smith, did she?
Speed Luck:... Yes?
Rainbow Dash:............ A... MAZING!!! YOUR GRANNY IS FRIENDS WITH A GRANNY OF ONE OF MY FRIENDS!!!
Speed Luck: You know them?
Rainbow Dash:... Do you NOT know the name of Rainbow Dash? The latest Wonderbolt?
Speed Luck: Wait, that was you? I thought it was Rainbow Crash.
Rainbow Dash:... That's... A Derogatory nickname from fillyhood turned into some kind of military nickname. It's kinda a thing for them. At least it helps me less ashamed.
Speed Luck:... The heck did you do to EARN that nickname?
Rainbow Dash:... I didn't look both ways before crossing the runway.
Speed Luck:... (Snickers for a bit).... PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! OH MY GODS, WHAT KIND OF MOOK DOESN'T LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE RUNWAY?!? YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED! (Laughs) What other mistakes have you made? You cast some aerial move that gave away your position?
Rainbow Dash:... Uh... Kinda? (She had a flashback to when she used the Sonic Rainboom on Celaeno's ship)
(Rainbow Dash): You think they saw my Sonic Rainboom?
(Twilight):... Are you KIDDING ME?!? (Flashback ended)
Rainbow Dash:...
Speed Luck:... Wow. No wonder the Wonderbolts suck eggs as much as the military.
Rainbow Dash:... Excuse me?
Speed Luck: I mean, come on, it makes sense. They've lost their edge recently and now six ponies have often had to clean up their messes along with the Shell Lodge Squad from outer space. Why would you ever want to join them when you're already a hero in your own right? You don't exactly NEED them. You're ALREADY awesome. Not like THOSE washouts.
Rainbow Dash:... I REALLY think you should take that back.
Speed Luck: Whoa, take it easy mare, it's just my opinion, I'm not trying to start something here-
Rainbow Dash: I'M TRYING TO DEFEND THE WONDERBOLTS' HONOR!
Speed Luck: Yikes, hear me out, girl! It's just, from my perspective, the Wonderbolts have seen better days, ya know. I'm not a hater, just, a disillusioned fan more aware of their flaws, I mean, I got the Spitfire Doll for crud's sake! I'm just aware that, they have a lot of room for improvement. From what I heard, they almost kicked you out of the reserves because Wind Rider of all ponies framed you for his crimes, AND, without even a Proper Investigation! That alone woke me up to the fact that the Wonderbolts, have problems! And the less I say about the fiasco at Rainbow Falls, the better.
Rainbow Dash:... I DON'T believe you.
Speed Luck: Hey, don't take my word for it, ask my granny. SHE was contemplating the same thing. And she knows a thing or two about the matter of what happens to washouts like them. So, maybe, if I were you, I'd drop out of the Wonderbolts before a possible disbanding happens, friendly advice.
Rainbow Dash: Take it back! NOW!
Speed Luck: Hey chill, I said "Possible" Disbanding, I didn't said one was immediate-
Rainbow Dash:... Or... OR I'LL-
Speed Luck: Um, let's not get into a needless fight here. Bouncers are super-uppity about that.
Rainbow Dash: FINE! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A RACE!!!
Speed Luck:... (She took off her cucumbers)... This, just got interesting. (She tried to fly up but remembered her wings were too wet) OOF!
Rainbow Dash: HAH! Looks like SOMEPONY'S more impulsive than me.
Speed Luck:.... Okay, ya know what? I tried to be as non-confrontational and respectful about my opinion as possible here, Rainbow Dash, but as luck would have it, mocking me while I was down, NOW I HAVE to defend my honor! Alright, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Rainbow Dash: If I win, you apologize and admit that the Wonderbolts are better off NOT shut down!
Speed Luck: Fair enough. But if I win... You know what? Let's have my GRANNY decide on that, shall we?
Rainbow Dash: Uh-uh! I know deals after spending enough times here. And blind agreements? Those are the WORST case of gambling. You don't just accept a gamble with stakes you don't know about. Because next thing you know, you end up marrying somepony against your will, or you end up committing a crime that costs you everything. You name the terms right here and right now!
Speed Luck: Well thing is, even if we DON'T include Grandma into this, she'll butt in and make a bet behind our backs anyway. She's THAT super into gambling.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh, FINE! If you REALLY think your old woman is going to make it worthwhile, then why don't you bring her here right now?
Speed Luck: "Well at this time point she likely already went back to do that thing she wants to do, so-"
???: Speed Luck! (Luck-Out walks over to the two with Granny Smith and the others)
Luck-Out: What is the meaning of this, young lady?!
Speed Luck: "Hey, Rainbow Dash got uppity at me for only offering some criticism about the Wonderbolts! Oh and she challenged me to a race over it."
Luck-Out: A race, you say? Surely you jest, Miss Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: "WHO DO YA TAKE ME FOR, PINKIE PIE?! I'M PRETTY SERIOUS ABOUT IT?!"
Luck-Out: Well, a plotload of bits says yes.
Rainbow Dash: OH COME ON! I'm not like Mr. Krabs neither, lady! Got something better, old-timer?
Luck-Out: Well, how about we pass that amount of money TO the Wonderbolts so you can give them a budget to get better.
Rainbow Dash: Now THAT'S better. Getting that money of yours for THEM is MUCH more worthwhile. But what if I lose?
Luck-Out: Well, let's just keep that to me-
Rainbow Dash: ABSOLUTELY NOT! TELL ME OR I'LL ASSUME YOU'RE JUST GOING TO-
Granny Smith: Um, yeah, RD, you're... Gonna have to roll with it. I... Kinda... Bet the contract for the School of Friendship.
Rainbow Dash:... Okay... PLEASE tell me you're joking.
Granny Smith: Well, I... We talked to Applejack about it and... Well...

15 minutes ago...

Applejack: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE SHOULD DISCIPLINE BUZZORD MORE?!? WE'RE ALREADY DOIN' THAT TO DEATH!
Luck-Out: Well, I WAS a member of the EEA, and I say-
Applejack: OH, OF COURSE! It's ALWAYS 'bout them, ain't it?
Apple Rose: APPLEJACK!
Granny Smith: "Wait a minute, Clover, you were with the E.E.A.-.... Actselly it explains too much about our conversation in the sauna. So I take it clover's not your actual name, then?"
Luck-Out: "Oopises, me and these silly spoiler alerts. But yes, I am Lady Luck-Out, once Chancellor for the EEA, and the best gambler of Equestria. And the luckiest as well."
Applejack: How could you four LISTEN to her?! You KNOW they're up to no good.
Granny Smith: Maybe not, sugarcube, but it's for an understandable reasons. We fear for the students' safety and... Well... We suggested she talk to you. Also, she kinda got us with giving us a fake name, so-
Applejack: Ugh, Granny, we've been over this. It's FINE as a fiddle!
Luck-Out: SUUUURE it is, and I bet you always say that and it happens again anyway. Well, no more. Applejack, it's clear that you need to take proper precautions.
Applejack: On who's authority? Yours? The EEA is disbanded, member?
Luck-Out: Well, yes, and the sub-council are not reliable enough to apply as otherwise.... BUT, what if somepony ELSE became its head? Like ME?
Applejack: And what makes YOU think we'll let YOU have it?
Granny Smith: Applejack, what if she's right? What if situations like Buzzord end up doing worse than the other few incidents? It could potentially destroy Ponyville, or worse, Equestria itself.
Applejack: This is a LITTLE too paranoid.
Granny Smith: YOU CALLIN YER GRANNY PARANOID?!?
Applejack: NONONONO, COURSE NOT, IT'S JUST-
Granny Smith: It's just nothin'! Applejack, you need to prove to everypony around ya that you can keep the danger of Buzzord in check, among a few other dangers. If we can't trust yall with handling Buzzord, how can we trust yall to handle other problems in the school?
Applejack: DAG NABBIT, GRANNY, AH AM THE ELEMENT OF HONESTY!!
Luck-Out: And yet even YOU are unsure if you're TRULY able to handle it.
Applejack:... Wha... How could you-
Luck-Out: Intuition. It's all over your face. You are afraid of Buzzord blowing up everything, aren't you?
Applejack: NO!
Luck-Out: YES! You may be the Element of Honesty, but you can't completely agree with yourself, can you? Well, fine. I challenge you for ownership of the School of Friendship. If I win, the School is MINE AND the EEA's, apawn a possible rebanding, I mean. If you win, you keep it and prove that you CAN handle Buzzord.
Applejack:... HAH! Are you HONESTLY insinuating that just because I'm Appleoosian-Like that I'm stupid? You think I'm just gonna accept that deal in a heartbeat?
Luck-Out: Yes. Why? Because if you don't, you'll JUST keep lying to yourself without realizing you are. You'll ALSO be increasing the mistrust of Ponyvillians like them. How easy is it for ponies in Ponyville to mistrust the School's faculty after every single failed explosion and/or cases of him bring monsters from all-over and/or beyond Equestria and the planet to the school? Espeically when he made the school moble and got it stuck in mud that forced in Alicorn's intervention! They might just have you all under deep questioning. So, as obvious as this sounds, you can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to us. Either accept, or you risk breaking the trust of Ponyville and hurt PR. Everypony will never trust you as a school staff again, and be hiding in their homes waiting for a megaspell explosion to be set off inside the school, or even a case of that crazed bird bringing in some kind of reality-eater cosmic entity. Both worse-case scenarios, honestly. Do you TRULY want that?
Applejack:... N... No... (Sighs) Fine! I accept.
Luck-Out: Good. We're starting to go somewhere. So... Just the matter of finding a challenge then

Present

Granny Smith: "And here we are now."
Rainbow Dash:... ARE YOU POOPING ME?!?
Luck-Out: Nope. She had to do it. And so do you. Unless of course you want to lie to YOURSELF too.
Rainbow Dash:.... Okay, I know bronies joked about how I'm more suited for the Element of Honesty, BUT AS IF THAT GUILT-BOMB WOULD WORK?! I KNOW what game you're playing. You're doing this for revenge.
Luck-Out: Am I?
Rainbow Dash: YES!!! Cause DUUUH, You were from the E.E.A. and you have a stigma at the school cause of what Celestia and her parents did!
Luck-Out: Sure, keep coming up with excuses to avoid taking responsibility. I'd expect THAT from you. Some Element of Loyalty YOU turned out to be.
Rainbow Dash:... You, said, WHAT?!?
Luck-Out: Hey, are you loyal to the people and the royalty who trust you to keep them safe or not?
Rainbow Dash: YES!
Luck-Out: Then you WILL accept this end of the bargain. You win this thing, you can get what you want. If you lose, the School belongs to the EEA again, in an event of rebanding, I mean.
Rainbow Dash:... This is a VERY ballsy gamble, you know!
Luck-Out: Not my first. So... Do we have a deal?
Rainbow Dash:... Fine.
Luck-Out: Now THERE'S the Element of Loyalty. Glad to know that out of ALL the Wonderbolts, you're the ONLY one who has a brain. See you on the track. (They all left)
Speed Luck:.... (Sighs), Did you REALLY have to encourage her on this? We both know this won't be a fair race. I'm litterally fast enough to make Sonic look like a turtle!
Rainbow Dash: We'll see on the track!
Speed Luck: Ugh. Okay fine, have it your way. (She zoomed off)
Rainbow Dash:... AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! (The scream echoed and got the Lodgers and other heroes' attention)

Chapter 3: Rotten Luck And Cheaty Cheats

Later...

Rainbow Dash: APPLEJACK, HOW COULD YOU AGREE TO SUCH A CRAZY DEAL?!? DID YOU EAT SOME ROTTEN APPLES OR SOMETHING?!? HEAVENSLIGHT FORBID IT'S THE ONES WITH CYANIDE IN THEM LIKE WITH PONY.MOV APPLEJACK!!
Applejack: I HAD NO CHOICE! THEY WERE RIGHT!! THE WAY WE RUN THE SCHOOL IS CALLED INTO QUESTION! WE NEEDED TO PROVE-
Rainbow Dash: AND HOW IS SOME CRAZY RACE THAT YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I CAN'T WIN GOING TO PROVE ANYTHING?!?
Applejack: ".... Well you didn't exactly handled that old mare any better then I did!"
Rainbow Dash: ".... Touche, apple-bucker. Tou, che."
Applejack: "And besides, it's not like she was lying about Buzzord."
Rainbow Dash: "Well maybe not so much lying as more like creating a WORSE-CASE SCENARIO?! We know Eureka does well enough to keep Buzzord from anything as crazy as she said!"
Applejack: "But what if Eureka has to go to another family thing or if she gets sick?"
Rainbow Dash: "I-..... Oooookay, so maybe we should start working on a substitute teacher thing, I do see your point on that, BUT WE'RE STILL IN TROUBLE HERE?!"
Skipper: Exactly. You two just put the School of Friendship on the line!
Twilight: Ugh! I am VERY, VERY disappointed in you both.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, like you'd have a better excuse- Wait, how did you and the others got here quickly when we perfectly established that you guys were doing something els-
Pinkie: "Magic."
Rainbow Dash: ".... Why do I bother asking?"
Applejack: Exactly. We couldn't even defend how WE learn friendship when we published OUR stories and turned the ponies of Ponyville into the ENTIRE BRONY COMMUNITY!
Po: Girls, girls, GIRLS, can we please stop bickering and figure this out?
Rarity: HOW?!? WE JUST BET OWNERSHIP OF OUR SCHOOL!! OF ALL THE-... You know what, I'm not going to say that, it's an old gag already.
SpongeBob: So whaddiya gonna do, girls?
Rainbow Dash: No clue! It's hopeless! HOPELESS!! Speed Luck is WAAAAY faster than me. Even Luck-Out, somepony who KNOWS her probability skills through gambling, said that I can never win. Worst, she's TOO smart for ANY of my outsmarting tactics. She's like me but on... NEAR steroids?
Pinkie: Hey, you'll figure it out. She can't be THAT fast- (They watched Speed Luck zooming around and trying everything in the funfair they were in, in only 10 seconds)...... Wow. What kind of sugar was SHE eating? AND WHERE DO I GET IT?!
Rainbow Dash: Not a clue, but so do I if it'll help me win.... Well... We're done for. You win, EEA! YOU FREAKING WIN!!! YOUR MAD WAYS, HAVE FINALLY PAID OFF!!
Shenzi: AAAAHHH SHADDAP! (Smacks her) Lady, you're RAINBOW DASH!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but SHE'S Speed Luck! SHE'D look both ways before crossing the goddamn runway. SHE'D never give away her position with a Sonic Rainboom. She'd make a WAY better Wonderbolt than me. I... I... There's no use fighting the inevitable. I'm forfeiting the competition and giving her the contract.
Patrick: WHAT?!? WHO ARE YOU?! AND WHAT'VE YOU DONE WITH RAINBOW DASH?!?
Rainbow Dash:... Dafuq?
Patrick: The Rainbow Dash WE know is DEFIANT in the face of insurmountable odds!
Rainbow Dash: Pbbt, I don't have time for fancy words. I'm out of here.
Mr. Krabs: OOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO NO YE AIN'T!! (He grabbed her ear)
Rainbow Dash: OWWW!! YOUR CLAWS HURT!!!
Mr. Krabs: That's EXACTLY what Luck-Out WANTS! To have you either lose or quit. The #1 rule of competition, don't LET the opponent get to ya. The ONLY way to fail is to give up.
Rainbow Dash: Or, you know, losing a race.
Mr. Krabs: Eh, maybe, but point is, you shouldn't give up so easily.
Rainbow Dash:... Mr. K, you KNOW that I clock in an average Mach 10. But Speed Luck? Last I checked she was 15. THAT'S what made the Speedskies so famous. Luck-Out is a family member of them. So, if I don't even have a chance to beat Speed Luck, who's probably the most quickly-challenged pegasus in the air, AND if Luck-Out, the most luckily-challenged pony, says that there's no way I can do it, IN A THOUSAND POSSIBILITIES, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO BEAT HER?!
Merlin: ACTUALLY... There's more to this. I know charms when I see or hear about them. You say that Luck-Out has so many wins of chance?
Rainbow Dash: Since fillyhood, yes.
Merlin:...
Archimedes: Nope. Uh-uh. I don't buy it for ONE minute. Nobody's THAT lucky.
Mr. Whiskers: Yeah, and I learned the hard way that there's NO such thing as good or bad luck.
Gloria: A lot of previous adventures of ours would beg to differ.
(Deadpool): And so can Domino, really.
Mr. Whiskers: "Well when the writers of our old canon show made that episode, they didn't think we would get included in a crossover adventure with contradicting themes, SO SUE ME?!"
Alex: "Well it's really the matter of Karma Fairies then juts luck."
Rainbow Dash: Exactly.
Merlin: NO! Not exactly!
Rainbow Dash: YES EXACTLY! LUCK-OUT IS A MASTER OF PROBABILITY!!
Merlin: Oh? Was it just her smarts that got her all her wins?
Rainbow Dash: I-... Not... Really.
Merlin: THERE you go! Luck is NOT naturally-occurring. It can only exist magically.
Twilight: Merlin's right. Luck is just something that happens out of sheer coincidence. It's nothing more than superstition, just like... Well... Fantasy.
Rainbow Dash: WE'RE LITERALLY LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD OF MULTI-COLORED HORSES WITH DRAGONS AND OTHER MYTHICAL CREATURES, TWILIGHT!!! HECK, YOU'RE A FLYING UNICORN, ASSENTUALLY?! HOW CAN LUCK NOT EXIST WITH THAT?!? HMMM?!?
Twilight: I...... Eh, fair point.
Merlin: No, but THAT is cartoony luck. THIS is different. Luck that happens to ONE person naturally, it's just impossible.
Shifu: Nothing is-
Merlin: Upupup, didn't finished! I'm just saying, it's INCREDIBLY suspicious that ONE pony has had luck ALL her life. It's not impossible, but there can only be ONE way for it to be possible. Her entire life, she's been CHEATING!
Archimedes: Yep. She's got some kind of luck charm. A magic relic that is GIVING her good luck.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, save the arguments, guys.
Marty: Nonono, Merlin's too right, RD. Think! Is it really likely that ANYONE has luck for THIS long?
Melman: Exactly, you know the rules of luck. It ALWAYS runs out. But HER? It's NEVER run out.
Kowalski: There's NO denying it. She's cheating.
Rainbow Dash:... You know... Maybe you're right?... Umm... Twilight? Anything you know about luck magic?
Twilight: (Deep breath) Well, luck magic is related to charms. They both seem to have been created in Alicorn lore by Princess Serendipity, the Alicorn goddess of luck, charms, fortune, and blessings. But her sister Princess Vicissitude on the other hand, is the goddess of bad luck, misfortune, jinxes, and tragedy.
Brandy: Well, we have our answer. Somehow Luck-Out stole a relic of Serendipity.
Mr. Whiskers: Then we'll just have to, well, take it from her.
Frank: And how are we going to do THAT?
Mr. Whiskers:... Subtlety.
Ed Otter: Not exactly our specialty, is it?
Mr. Whiskers: Oh... Watch, and learn...

Later...

Mr. Whiskers: (Directly to Luck-Out) Do you have a stolen luck relic?
Luck-Out: "No."
Mr. Whiskers: "Rats."
Twilight, while the others were at a distance face-palming Whiskers' stupidity, took a good look at Luck-Out's necklace; Merlin's theory is DIFFIDENTLY right, but it's not exactly a traditional luck charm.

After Whiskers came back in.

Twilight: "It's worse than just a generic luck charm, guys. (Conjures up a book that read "Alicorn Artifacts and You" and opens it) It's the Green Luck-Clover Jewel Necklace of Luck-Prediction, or by simpler dialect, the Luck-Clover Amulet of the Luck Alicorn."
Mr. Whisker: "SHE OUTFOXED US?!"
Brandy: "By simply lying about stealing that?"
Twilight: "Technically, she didn't steal that amulet. According to its description, Serendipity has been known to award luck powered gifts to the ponies that are the most excelled of good fortune. Whether it be the most-green-hoofed Earth Pony, Unicorns that are beyond even Starswirl's level of magic, and alchourse, the fastest of pegasi."
Rainbow Dash: "So safest bet in the world, THAT INCLUDES THE SPEEDSKIES, RIGHT?!"
Twilight: "Alas, yes. That amulet is likely a family heirloom at this point."
Icky: ".... Okay, so it's not so much stealing as it is like a gift that's been in the family for a millennia, then."
Lord Shen: "But CLEARLY she has been using the blasted thing to cheat her way to victory and how she will predict the outcome of any sporting events!"
Crane: "Pretty sure that wasn't what the Luck Alicorn meant for her gifts to be used for."
Twilight: Definitely not. But you know mortals. We do whatever we want with stuff like this.
Gilda:... I have an idea. How about WE level the playing field, by borrowing a bad luck relic from Vicissitude or something?
Pinkie: Isn't that... Cheating?
Gilda: It's technically not cheating if the OTHER is cheating too. We can just get the both of us disqualified by revealing both our deception in the end, and render the entire damn thing moot.
Sandy:... That actually ain't a bad idea, Gild.
Lord Shen: "Alittle dishonorable perhaps, but, it does have limited merit."
Gilda: Please, we're beating them at their OWN game. We fight dirty against one who PLAYS dirty. You mess with our pony friends, you mess with ALL of us.
Banzai: "No denying that."
Ed: EHUAHAHAHAHAH!! CHEAT, CHEAT, CHEAT!!!
Shenzi: (Slapped him) S***, DON'T SAY THAT SO LOUD!! Let's... Ugh... Go find a bad luck charm. But where would one find it?
Twilight: Well, not much is known about Serendipity AND her sister. But... We MIGHT find some clues in the Speedsky family.
Rainbow Dash: Sounds like a plan.
Patrick: Because it IS one.
Mad Hatter: Vamonos!

Later...

Twilight: (Reading the book)... Okay, says in the 'Alicorns and You' Book, that Serendipity and Vicissitude had a habit of making bets that Vicissitude would always cheat in.
Trixie: Heh, that sounds familiar.
Twilight: But, they both need each other to maintain balance. Good and bad luck needed to intertwine. Then, when they died in the Chaos War, they had to hide their relics away. Then... Well... The rest is a blank. Those two weren't very popular kinds of goddesses. With ANY of these relics, anypony can harness good and bad luck. But there's a catch.
Boss Wolf: And what's that?
Twilight: Anycreature who wields the relic, will be cursed with good and bad luck, unless it's balanced by a relic of the opposite. That means, even if we remove the Jewel Necklace, she'll still be lucky. It gets stuck with the wielder even if it's removed, and can only be removed by a relic of bad luck. But like the good luck charm, the bad luck charm affects not just the people around you, but it affects the user as well.
Rainbow Dash: And odds are that Speed Luck will be wearing it posing as a 'lucky charm', which knowing her, she won't believe in. I just need to wear this bad luck relic and... Well... We'll actually be neutral. It'll all be fair game. No good luck OR bad luck will affect either of us so long as we keep both relics together.
Skipper: Then once you win, or she wins, or even if it becomes a tie, which is more likely because you'll both be stuck in good and bad luck, you reveal the counter-cheating and disqualify yourselves. Neither one will win.
Rainbow Dash: What I'M asking myself is that... Why would this Luck Necklace be flat-out GIVEN to them millennia ago? Surely Serendipity KNEW mortals were prone to using power selfishly, ESPECIALLY in the times of the Chaos War.
Twilight: "Actselly, Serendipity gave out those gifts in times BEFORE the Chaos Wars."
Rainbow Dash: "..... Ohhhhhh. I, guess that would makes sense.... But still, what was her damage to give objects like that and not predict that eventually those families will have less honorable generations?"
Icky: "Because likely, she figured that since ponies have purity, abuse was deemed a non-issue."
Rainbow Dash: Well, oopsies, even the PUREST OF ALL RACES HAVE THEIR BAD EGGS!!
Twilight: Ponies were STILL new back then. Even the Alicorns hardly understood them. But... I know we know Serendipity gave the Speedskies the necklace, but the question is, who was the ancestor to get it? Though if we do some genealogical research, we might just find out.... Right?
SpongeBob: Beats me. This world is FULL of mysteries.
Po: "But how are we gonna find a book about their heritage on short notice?"
Rainbow Dash:... Maybe Spitfire can help. They HAVE been trying out for an investigative mission for some time.
Duke: HAH, can't imagine why!
Rainbow Dash: CAN WE PLEASE REFRAIN FROM BADMOUTHING THEM?!?
Duke: Not my fault the truth hurts.
Rainbow Dash: Ugh! Let's just go, PUHLEEZE!!
Icky: "Okay okay, take some chill pills, why don't ya?"

Twilight's Castle

Sam: (They teleported to her castle)... Odd, why ANYPONY in this land would consider taking a train with teleporting as ubiquitous as it is here.
Max: Eh, think of it like the same reason the Power Rangers don't just take out their Zords right away. We don't do it unless we gotta. Still stupid, but it still makes sense.
Twilight: Plus, we ALL can't do it, so why do you think it exists? Anyway, let's see if we can find something with this DNA sample. (She got a hair of Luck-Out and analyzed it magically)... Alright... (She pulled it up like a hologram or iPhone)
Melman: Wow. You're using magic like a phone, huh?
Twilight: Eh, when my Human Equestrian counterpart visited this place during that whole Storm King fiasco involving one of his weapons being lost there, she used magic like technology. I decided to try it out. Anyway, seems that Luck-Out's ENTIRE family has been cheating with this relic. Each member of her family CONVENIENTLY has Luck in their name. Dirty Luck, Dumb Luck, Lucky, Lucky Charm, Clover Luck, Lucky Star, Luck Luster, Lucky Number, Luckster... Eh, you get the idea. But... The first of them all was Gumshoe Luck. She was a Pegasus who lived during the same era the family GOT the necklace. BUT the problem is that she didn't live ANYWHERE in Equestria, since Equestria as we know it didn't exist yet. It only came when the three tribes found the new land to escape the Windigo Ice Age.
Mushu: Well, crap.
Lola: What about Starswirl?... I mean... We didn't exactly know how long HE had been around.
Twilight: Actually, he was born shortly AFTER the Chaos War.
Djon: Huh? How does that make sense? He disappeared around the time of the Fear Wars when his buddy Stygian was corrupted by Bishop's little fear cult.
Twilight: Well, the famed Philosopher's Stone DID help in that regard, but that's a whole OTHER story. Bottom line, he wouldn't exactly know EVERYTHING about this subject.
Icky: "And people say the Legends of Zelda's game timeline was confusing. At least THAT has an official historian! Hasbro never ONCE bothered to give something like that to Equestria's timeline?!"
Pinkie: "And they might not ever now that Gen 4.5 is on the horizon."
Icky: "Ah-..... (This video)"

JonTron_-_Excuse_me,_what? — JonTron - Excuse me, what?

Pinkie: Oh, whoops, did I forget to tell you we're getting a spin-off?
Icky: "Since, WHEN?!"
Pinkie: See for yourself.

▷Trailer_NEW_G4.5_ANIMATED_SERIES_(Announcement)_MLP_Pony_Life_HD — ▷Trailer NEW G4.5 ANIMATED SERIES (Announcement) MLP Pony Life HD

Icky: ".... Oh dear gods, it's your own equivalent to Gen 3, cause, THOSE DESIGNS, I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK, DUDES?!"
Pinkie: "I know, I'm not wild for those designs neither."
Iago: AND WTF WAS THAT INTRO?! YOU WERE SAYING HELL MANY TIMES!!
Pinkie: "Okay, 1, those are 4.5 incarnations of us of a different Equestria, they're not actually us, I mean, earlier SAF episodes showed there can be different versions of Goofy, like how there's many versions of Santa and the Grim Reaper. Heck, you can argue that Old School Scrooge McDuck is different from Modern Reboot Scrooge McDuck."
Iago: "... Oh. BUT THEY STILL-"
Pinkie: "ANNNNNNND 2: They were actually just mouthing the lyrics."
Icky: ".... Well fair's fair, using, a song with cussery in it, is, REALLY unlike Hasbro. This was the same group that censored Derpy's original personality because of implications of mockery onto the mentally impaired, AND YET HAVING A SONG WITH CUSSING FOR AN UPCOMING VERSION OF YOU GUYS IS OKAY!?"
Iago: Heh, and yet they DIDN'T have the BALLS to mention death, regardless that previous incarnations of MLP did so. The original Tirek, BEHEADED PEOPLE!! And the Rainbow? THAT THING WAS A PSYCHO-KILLER!! What made the people behind that show such p*****s?
Pinkie: I don't know, maybe it was to show their morals in a less-adult light? Who knows?
Icky: "Well this was a nice fun distraction criticizing modern media, but let's go back to the episode-"
SpongeBob: Eh, I'll lighten the mood by also saying that they're also redoing my old game Battle for Bikini Bottom.
Shenzi:... You mean the one where you have to fight so many robots because Plankton thought putting an 'Obey and Don't Obey' lever on a robot-making machine was a good idea?
SpongeBob: Yep. It's even supposed to have a cut boss in it: Robot Squidward. If you play the game and see the concept art, the Robot Squidward looked pretty good.
Po: "Kinda weird they're giving a licensed game a re-do. Usually it's the original IPs that're doing it, like Crash and Spyro."
Sandy: "Well shows how much quality Battle for Bikini Bottom had to be quite the exception. Hell, it's previous graphics were so perfect it was used in the 2004 SpongeBob Movie game."
Patrick: "(Kinda sad) But how are they gonna do it with THQ gone?"
Mr. Krabs: "Well, the revamps for the classic Crash and Spyro games still made it out fine when made by someone else, so I be thinking it's no different here."
Icky: Good for you, nostalgia all the way, can we PLEASE resume with the episode?!
Gilda: Yeah, I'm getting BORED, can we do some REAL heroing for crying out loud?!
Twilight: Right. So, while Starswirl may not know about WHERE Gumshoe lived exactly, he MIGHT know some historians.
???: Well, looks like I came just in time, then. (Starswirl appeared)
Starswirl: I have received a vision detailing that a relic from Princess Serendipity is going to cause some problems.
Twilight:... Thank you UUniverses... And... I guess karma fairies? First time you do something useful.
Starswirl: Karma fairies ARE the earliest manifestations of morality and fortune, ALL the way back to the First Cartoonian War. Though, yeah, they got so used to it they like to treat their jobs like a game.
Icky: Eh, yeah, that KINDA makes sense and makes me feel sorry for them more than hate them. You tend to bend your job a little when you get bored.
Sparx: I dated a karma fairy once... I mean, when we went back to another visit in the Fairy Realms and got to see... (Shivers in lust)... Princess Zoe. Karmi was a real prankster. But when she went too far on me, I HATED em ever since.... Though it STILL doesn't hurt to meet a fairy once in a while. They're SOOOOOOO HOT!
Sam: Well you'd say that because they're HALF-bug, AND they share the original incarnation's ability to empower abilities with a kiss.
Sparx: Point is, glad you came in time, Starry. What do you know about this?
Starswirl: Well, Princess Serendipity and her sister are still little-known, even for me. In fact, much of Equestria's Alicorn-Era past is unknown. That's why Celestia and Luna hardly know about Alicorn births or how they live, because they were born when there were barely any Alicorn Gods left. They were by proxy the last ones born. Thank goodness they are immortal. But yeah, since their parents were taken, I served as a father figure to them for the next few years, and YES, I had my own Philosopher's Stone to allow me a greater lifespan. So it's true that even I can't give you much about those two sisters. But yes, I DO have some historians to suggest. One has dabbled in it for a long time. In fact, one of them ALSO uses a Philosopher's Stone, and he had lived in my time. His name is Gospel. He's a satyr. One unrelated to those of Pana. He's collected information for as long as he lived. He SHOULD give you insight.
Rainbow Dash: In that case, where is he?
Starswirl: Why he's at the old lands where the Windigo Ice Age was at it's worst. The Windigo Icelands.
Rainbow Dash:... Piss! It HAD to be somewhere cold.
Starswirl: And it still has a decent population of Windigoes. So, whatever you do, be sure you don't give them anything to feed on. If they find you an excellent source of food, they could follow you to Equestria.
Rainbow Dash: Can't they smell negativity for miles?
Starswirl: Indeed, but in the winter they can do it across the world. Considering it's nearing spring, this should give you an ample opportunity to find Gospel and see what he knows.
Alex: Well how did YOU manage to get past them? You have to know where he was SOMEHOW!
Starswirl: Well, I've known about Windigoes for a long time. That knowledge inevitably gave birth to this land. I know how to defend myself from their influence. But, since those times, they've learned how to spark negativity. It's like a predatory evolution to produce food by any means necessary. They use anything to their advantage, and they became pretty crafty. And the cold can drive ANYCREATURE nuts.
Kaa: He's not wrong about that. And THIS is coming from a reptile.
Savio: "It ALWAYS has to be someplace COLD?!"
Gilda: One, that's probably because it's STILL winter. Second, it hasn't ALWAYS been someplace cold. Three, quit whining. We have an old relic of pony history to visit.
Savio: "I meant like-"
Icky: "Relax, we'll get that AUU thermal warming clothes stuff we got from the HA, no need to get prissy at the cold, mack."

Later...

Twilight: (The group got out their thermal suits and the mane heroes got coats to arrive at the old village from 'Hearth's Warming Eve')... Midnight Castle. One of the earliest kingdoms of ponies that safeguarded Unicornia, Pegasia on Willy Nilly Mountain, and Gaia in Ponyland, until Equestria was formed. Those who refused to leave and stave off the cold... Were taken by Tirek, who ruled them all as slaves before being 'betrayed' by Scorpan and imprisoned in Tartarus.
Squidward: Yay, another bunch of previous-gen MLP references, let's just find Gospel.
Starswirl: Actually... Not everypony is dead. There's... Five survivors. Lily Lightly, Storybelle, Star Flight, Heart Bright, and Puzzlemint.
Squidward: Ugh, really? MORE previous MLP incarnation references?
Starswirl: Will you stop ruining our mood with that nonsense talk? Now then, these five ponies are important as the guardians of Gospel's secrets. He IS the closest one to having all secrets of the Alicorns. But... They ARE very mistrusting. AND they STILL hate each other even after having long lives with the Philosopher's Stone. Their bickering only makes this storm stronger. But on the bright side, it makes Gospel HARDER to find.
White Rabbit: Well, looks like HE'S a little diabolical genius, isn't he?
Starswirl: You know how the world outside of Equestria is. Satyrs and pans are supposed to be beyond our philosophy of friendship to survive. Now keep quiet. We don't want to alert them prematurely. That means all of you Lodgers.
SpongeBob: We promise nothing, premature, will happen.
Squidward: How long until you break it?
SpongeBob: Squidward!
Spyro: Just stay close. (They went through as five ponies, one a unicorn with Twilight's coloration but reversed mane color and a large flower as a cutie mark, another an Earth pony with a blue body, yellow-pink-and-blue mane, glasses, a magic quill and book as a cutie mark and a dragonfly in her mane, another a Pegasus with a pink body, a radical comet-white-and-magenta-streaked mane and a star-comet as a cutie mark, another an Earth pony with a white body, a long luscious cyan-to-lilac mane and a heart-shaped flower as a cutie mark, and finally a Unicorn with a white body, purple-and-yellow mane, and a puzzle and magnifying glass for a cutie mark, all watched in the shadows)
Tigress:... Guys...... STOP!
Po: WHOA, STOP!!!
Tigress: And SHUSH!
Po: "(Quietly) Shush!"
Icky: Shush like you hear something, or shush like you'll strangle me- (Tigress covers his beak)
Tigress:... Both!
Icky: Got it!
Tigress: We're not alone!
Pinkie: "A good "We're not alone" or a Bad "We're not alone"?"
Tigress: "That is what we need to figure out."
Starswirl: (Sighs) ALL FIVE OF YOU CAN COME OUT!
???: AW F***BERRIES, I WANTED TO SNEAK ATTACK THEM!!
??? 2: STAND DOWN, STAR, THEY DON'T MEAN ANY HARM!
???: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!
??? 3: They DEFINITELY look too stupid to be harmful.
Trixie: HEY, TRIXIE RESENTS THAT!!
Gilda: "AHEM! That's to say we're not all idiots, but you're still good on us not being a problem."
??? 4: Still not the best impression we're given of you guys. (The five ponies showed up)
Purple Unicorn:... Starswirl. We apologize.
Starswirl: Forget about it. Everyone... These are Gospel's disciples, Li-
Squidward: You ALREADY said their names.
Starswirl: "Well yes, but it would still do good to know who's who!"
Squidward:... Ugh, fair point. Sometimes I WISH MLP never got to be part of this show.
Icky: "Then I bet somewhere in the Multiverse, there's an alternate dimension exactly like that."
Squidward: "Then I'll be sure to check with Glossiary afterwords."
Storybelle: Well, hello to you too. What, and who, are you?
Starswirl: Friends. Just leave it at that.
Willie: We are the Shell Lodge Squad. Can we do the old intro thing? I missed those.
SpongeBob: (Sighs) Fine!

French Narrator: One Recycled Introduction Clip Later...

Star Flight:... Wow. That LITERALLY sounded by cut and pasted clips smudged together.
Iago: You would get along fine with our biggest critics to Old SAF.
Miguel: Look, we don't have ANYMORE time to waste. We need to see Gospel about Princess Serendipity and Princess Vicissitude.
Storybelle:... The Alicorns of Good and Bad Luck?
Starswirl: One of their relics is being abused and we NEED to find it's opposite to stop it.
Storybelle:... Gossomer? (The dragonfly came out of her mane and buzzed to her)
Fluttershy: Awwwwww, he's so cute.
Sparx: Did you JUST call a dragonfly cute?
Fidget: It's Fluttershy, dude. She even found Icky adorable when we first met.
Sparx: Yeah, realized the moment I said it.
Storybelle: Eh, no book about something like that. Sorry.
Twilight: Well maybe Gospel can tell us that.
Puzzlemint: Yeah, uh, about that... He's feeling, under the weather. Literally AND figuratively. These storms have been getting stronger and it's taking its toll on us all.
Sparx: Then how come it's not caused YOU to feel sick? Unless it's the dumb contrivance that the cold only appears when we say- (They all sneezed) AAAAAAAAAND THERE IT IS!
Icky: "Is it REALLY a good time to reference folks getting sick in the time of that pandemic about-"
Lord Shen: "THIS, IS DIFFERENT?!"
Spyro: "So, you're saying that you're getting colds, from the cold of this landscape?"
Kowalski: "Well technically, the cold is actselly a type of virus, it's not actselly granted from exposure to cold weather."
Rainbow Dash: "This is a world of magic based on a younger girl's show, I think we lost the right to be based on logic, long ago."
Kowalski: "Toushe."
Icky: "Okay, I'm detecting the atypical side-quest plot incoming, why are you girls sick?"
Storybelle: "Well, after the queen, the countess and the commander left, things did not get any better in the old village. Even after Tirek was defeated, the old village never got better. On top of the Windigoes coming back, something worse came alongside with them: The Ice-Sickle."

Flashback

An Anthro Ice Elemental similar to Atronachs from Elder Scrolls Skyrim came forth moaning like the wind.
(Storybelle): "It was a creature older than Equestria itself. It's origin lost to time. It is a creature unlike anything Equestria has seen or will ever see. But what we do know, is that it's cold, drives ponies to sickness."
Ponies have fallen to sickness....
(Storybelle): "Thus bearing the name, the Ice-Sickle."
The Creature left....

Present

Storybelle: (Much of the heroes laughed at the name) Usually, Gospel kept the creature at bay, and from going after the rest of the world.... Until one battle with it got him sick.
Icky: ".... Okay, getting this out of the way, either that thing's ANOTHER DANG OUTER GOD, or at the least is based on an Outer, cause that "Older then Time" and "Unlike Anything We've Seen Before" thing SCREAMS cosmic brohaha!"
Sandy: "It could be an escaped primordial and it became one with ice, given it started to hang out with the Windigoes."
Lily: So yeah, Gospel isn't in any condition to tell you anything- (Sneezes)... And neither are we. *Sniff*
Crane: How about we take care of him for you?
Icky: (Scoffs) With a name like 'Ice-Sickle', c'mon, there's NO way he'd be taken seriously if he didn't have those cold flu powers.
Puzzlemist: We tried to fight him many times, but he ALWAYS retreated when he was unable to continue. The guy's a coward.
Twilight: We can make sure he doesn't get away that easily. We NEED those answers.
Heart Bright: Eh, good luck out there. It's REALLY tricky.
Iago: TRICKY is good! TRICKY, we can do.
Pinkie: And Fluttershy is FRIENDS with a trickster.
Star Flight: Well just watch yourself out there. It's STILL winter and if we don't get cured before spring, we might be sick until next winter.
Ralth: Yikes. That's pretty screwed up.
Icky: Again, this seems a little, inappropriate to make a joke about in light of certain events happening right now-
Mr. Krabs: Well, lads, let's go get that abomination.

Granny Luck-Out

Contents

Quotes

The Race

Transcript

Chapter 1: Another Las Pegasus Trip/The Big Shocker of Trixie's Family Tree/The New Sky Dragon XXXXXXXL

Chapter 2: Lady Luck-Out and Speed Luck

Chapter 3: Rotten Luck And Cheaty Cheats

Chapter 4: Seeking out Old Friendenemies for Favors.

Chapter 5: Lady Luck-Out, Uh, Lucks Out.

Epilogue

Material

Fan Feed