Horse Theater is the 36th Episode of Season 3B of SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles. A very big play is happening in Broadhay in Manehatten, being done so, by famous play director, Stage Glaced Ham, who is writing what he considers to be his grand opus, a play retelling the entire History of the Alicorns, and Stage Ham wants authenticity in his plays! Thus, he has enlisted the remaining Alicorns, even Celestia and Luna, to play the leads of the leading alicorns. Thing is, when Twilight and friends try to tell Stage Ham that Celestia is not a particularly good actor, instead of settling for second best, he decided to recommend Celestia to a professional that can turn ANYONE into an actor and his old friend, Count Façade, a famous rich acting coach known for teaching even the most crappiest of actors into A-list material. The Main 7 were worried that Stage Ham's plan would end in disappointment, but son of a gun, Celestia dramatically came into the room and acted like a regular equine thespian. She even ended up doing a one-pony Romeo and Juliet out of random nowhere just as a warm-up. The Main 7 were dumbfounded by this, with Spike joking that they should've just took Celestia to Façade to begin with since he coswinidently was in Canterlot. As a result, Stage Ham's show was a smashing success, as Stage Ham finally saw his dream realized. However, the following day, Twilight and Friends found themselves with the representatives complaining to them about how their students are being humiliated and degraded, or made to act in ways improper of their species, as it was reveled that some of the schools most embarrassing accidents or missteps, commonly involving Professor Buzzord, have found their way in Equestrian Newspapers! Now, Rarity has entered Shadow Spade mode and went to work on who would behind linking these things! However, it was discovered that during the night of Stage Ham's success, Celestia was talking to Twilight herself about the very zany things about the school, giving Rarity quick reason to believe that Celestia was the revealer, but Twilight defended that Celestia had promised to keep quiet! But then Spike brought up that she and Façade did became very good friends from then on out. Twilight suddenly becomes concern and went to confront Stage Ham about Façade. Stage Ham reveled that when not coaching actors, he was once also a benefactor of the the E.E.A. before disbansion, and that he was a master of jinxes, giving Twilight the grim realization that Façade had Jinxed Celestia into his brainwashed servant into exposing those embarrassing moments so he would get them into legal issues. Now with Lougers and a very enraged Lord Shen in tow, the Main 7 and the Lougers need to save Celestia from the Facade of Count Façade.

Transcript

Chapter 1: Enter Stage-Glaced Ham/School Spirit Falls Apart

Canterlot Castle

  • Twilight: (She was seen trotting with Celestia down the hallway)... So, I think you'll find that things had dramatically improved in the school since the start of the new year.
  • Celestia: So, everything has improved?
  • Twilight:... Well, improved in a way that, we've come to handle Buzzord's mishaps better.... (Nervous chuckle).
  • Celestia: Odd, I figured Miss Euri would have a grip on that, along with those other assistants.
  • Twilight: Well, yes, when they're around, but, whenever Euri takes a brief leave, even for something as simple as GROCERY SHOPPING, weeeeeeelllll...

Cutaway

  • Miss Euri: (She was see holding some grocery bags, then shows up in surprise to see that the moon was dangerously hovering above the school thanks to an experimental tractor beam of Buzzord's creation)........ (Sighs) Buzz!
  • Electross: (From the school) DANG IT, BUZZORD, WHY DID YOU THINK A MOON MAGNET WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
  • Buzzord: (From the school) IT WAS TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR A TRIP ON THE MOON SHORT OF MAKING A ROCKET SHIP!! I'm surprised no tidal effects are going on right now!

Another Cutaway

  • Miss Euri: (She arrived to the school via a Taxi carriage and turned to see that everyone was turned into toilets)... Okay, not gonna ask-
  • Barktrot: (From the school) WHY DID YOU MAKE A TRANSMUTATION TOWER THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO TOILETS?!
  • Buzzord: (From the school) YOU KNOW, JUST IN CASE WE NEED A DIFFERENT FORM OR SOMETHING?!
  • Barktrot: (From the school) WELL, WHY TOILETS?!
  • Buzzord: (From the school)... Morbid, curiosity?
  • Miss Euri: (She sighed as she put on a protective force field with a device of her own design)..... Buzz.

Yet Another Cutaway

  • Miss Euri: (She literally took a 5-minute bathroom break and came back to see Buzzord struggling to control a horrendously-mutated Angel Bunny) AAAHH!!
  • Rainbow Dash: WHY DID YOU TURN ANGEL BUNNY INTO A MONSTER?!
  • Buzzord: ENTROPY DARED ME INTO IT!! He said he'd give me a cookie if I do!
  • Rainbow Dash: ENTROPY!!
  • Entropy: SORRY, I WAS BORED!! I DIDN'T THINK HE'D ACTUALLY DO IT!!
  • Miss Euri: (She sighs and readied a de-mutating gun).... Buzz!

And Yet Another Cutaway

  • Miss Euri: (She entered Buzzord's office, and then suddenly sees a Giant Bumblebee with Buzzord's face) WHAT THE TART?!?
  • Buzzord: I'M PROFESSOR BUMBLE BEE BUZZORD!! (She stood in brief silence)... Is this not the funniest s*** you'd seen?
  • Euri:... Buzz, this has to be the last I let you watch Rick and Morty alone.

Present

  • Celestia: (She began laughing out of control) HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A GIANT BUMBLE BEE?! TWILIGHT, THAT GUY IS A RIOT!!
  • Twilight:... (Sadly) I know, I'm still struggling with- (Surprised) Wait what?
  • Celestia: Oh now Twilight, you know that lovable nutty professor means well.
  • Twilight: Well, yeah, but, I haven't even told you about his attempt to make a miniature sun, WHICH ALMOST ENDED UP NEARLY EXPANDING TO PROPER SUN SIZE!!
  • Celestia:... Yeah, I can see that it's not all fun and games with him. Not to question Miss Euri's capable skills nor that of the other assistants, but I think you may want to consider getting Buzzord a Co-Science Teacher to help better..... Reel in Buzzord's eccentricities.
  • Twilight: Believe me, I TRIED!! Buzzord has made QUITE a name in Equestria that it precedes him! A lot of smart ponies and creatures instantly ran off into poof clouds the moment I even just say "Professor Buzz-" (Several of Celestia's stripes suddenly poofed off into clouds as trotting was heard)...... SEE?! AND THEY WEREN'T EVEN SCIENTISTS!
  • Celestia: I, see.
  • Twilight: And the worse part, Buzzord is becoming an easy target for those like the E.E.A. to make my school LOOK bad! If I don't do something about him soon, who knows WHAT will happen?! AND THIS EEA BUSINESS HAS BEEN AT US SINCE 2018!!
  • Celestia: Oh don't fret Twilight, I'm sure an opportunity is just around the corner.
  • Twilight: Oh, it's not like I'm gonna LITERALLY bump into an opportunity- (Nothing happens)..... Darn, guess karma took a sick day this time.
  • Celestia: Hmmm. Have you tried getting in touch with Taiku and see if he and the others happened to run into ideal candidates?
  • Twilight: Taiku?... (Sighs sadly) It's been so long since I last saw him. It almost felt like he never existed. I need to find time to see him again if I can.
  • Celestia: I can arrange things for him to visit over. I'd imagine he'd missed your company.
  • Twilight: Well, assuming he's still not caught up in that "DeviantArt Stories" stardom thing. I-
  • Gray Clover: (She shows up) Ah, there you are, your highness, a big development came up. A Limo-Chariot has showed up on the castle steps and rolled up an extravagant red carpet!
  • Celestia: Oh? I wasn't expecting anyone with that-
  • Gray Clover: Sorry your highness, but I wasn't finished. It is none other, than THE, Stage-Glaced Ham!"
  • Twilight/Celestia:... Stage-Glaced Ham?

Castle Steps

  • Director Pony: (A very over-the-top and extravagant director pony was seen jiving down the carpet as paparazzi and press began to take mad pictures and were asking questions) Hohohohohohohohohoho, yes! The cameras love me!! (Does a pouty face) Sassy! (Starts strutting) Strut that stuff! (Starts squatting) Squats!
  • Annoyed Unicorn: (She was seen next to him annoyed greatly) Ugh, what a ham. Sir, we came here on business!
  • Director Pony: Oh take it easy, Time Crunch, I always have time for the peers! (Speaks something very European sounding)
  • Time Crunch: (She rolls her eyes with a frustrated groan)
  • Celestia: (She, Gray Clover, and Twilight all arrived on the scene and saw the display)... Is this him?
  • Gray Clover: That would be him. Stage-Glaced Ham.
  • Twilight: Then, wow. He really is a Glaced Ham.
  • Luna: (She shows up as well) What is the meaning of this tomfoolery?! I come to talk to Celestia about the arrival of some glory hound, and he just so happens to show up and nearly shoot me down with his fireworks!!
  • Stage Ham: HOHOHO! Uh, sorry about that, but anyway, here they are! (Trots up to them like an utter ham and got to them) Stage-Glaced Ham, proud director of many find Broadhay plays! PLEASURE to be meeting you, ladies.
  • Twilight: Broadhay?
  • Stage Ham: And you are Twilight Sparkle? So wundebar! (Does that eccentric kiss cheek thing on Twilight) Smooch! Smooch! (Flash Sentry was seen angrily staring at this with kettle whistle sounds and stared with daggers at Stage Ham)... Oh, where are my manners? I am one of the top directors of Broadhay in Manehatten! I directed so many wunderbar plays! Including, but not limited to: The Headless Horse, THE MUSICAL!! And my endearing classic about the adventures of the Pillars!! And the sleeper hit of the nation of Equestria, Everfree! The Musical, about the beasts of the Everfree Forest and their lives! Inspired by Cats..... The original play, not the GOD-AWFUL movie.
  • Twilight: Ohhhhh, now I recognize you! My cousin Midnight loves your tribute play to Celestia's Birth. I thought I knew your name from somewhere. Honestly, I thought you were a pig. Don't know why though.
  • Stage Ham: I get that a lot. Mystery for me, too. Anyway, I want to discuss something BIG for my next big play! I call it: STAGE HAM PRESENTS: ALICORNS!! A factual and accurate history, WITH ADDED DRAMA SO IT'S NOT BORING!! Which, yeah, I guess it's already dramatic, but not to a stage setting.
  • Luna: Hmmph! About time the Alicorn Gods got due recognition.
  • Twilight: Buuuuuuuut, WHHHHHHHY are you telling US this?
  • Stage Ham: You'll see...

Inside Throne Room

  • Celestia: You want what?
  • Stage Ham: I want to use REAL Alicorns, not half-butt it with just NORMAL ponies with fake wings and horns! So, I want to recruit the likes of the very precious few Alicorns we have left! Which includes you and your family, Celestia! Parents included!
  • Twilight: (She squeed loudly at that)...
  • Stage Ham: See, I was inspired into making Alicorns happen when I saw the Sparkle play about Celestia raising the sun. I loved it otherwise, but, I kinda felt cheated that you didn't actually show up yourself. So, I want to amend that.
  • Twilight: Uhhhhh, Mr. Ham-
  • Crunch Time: ZIP IT, CUTIE! ADULTS ARE TALKING!
  • Twilight: HEY!! I'M A PRINCESS TOO, AND AN ADULT!
  • Crunch Time: Yeah, but you're NOT a true Alicorn! You're off-brand material to REAL Alicorns like Celestia!
  • Stage Ham: Now now, Crunchy, be nice.
  • Crunch Time: "Just making sure she doesn't interrupt the meeting, sir."
  • Stage Ham: Then just ask nicely. That's not very hard.
  • Time Crunch: Uh, remember my name? I'm GONNA be about doing things on time here. I mean, on a world like this, the 'Sillynamia Effect' as those Lodgers called it, make a BITTA sense. Just do your job and I'll do mine.
  • Stage Ham: Very well. You see, my friends, I have been working on this for a VERY long time. But the problem is, that all the magic I have, all my magical and very much so actors, even all of them combined could never have enough magic for the play.
  • Twilight: Well, yeah, Alicorn Gods have more magic than all ponies and magical beings in Equestria combined. That's what comes with being gods.
  • Stage Ham: Which is why I have THESE! (Several Unicorn actors appeared holding relics)
  • Twilight:... GET OUT OF TOWN!!! You... You ACTUALLY have Alicorn relics?! HOW?!? I thought relics of that type were... EXTREMELY rare.
  • Stage Ham: Oh, they are, if you're not looking in the right place. These relics seem to possess the right magic I need. Problem is that it can ONLY be activated using Alicorn magic. That is where you ladies come in. If you can translate the magic into acting form, then the magic inside can respond, and BOOM! Alicorns is BORN!
  • Celestia:... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
  • Time Crunch: What does 'Mmmmmmmmmmm' mean?
  • Luna:... Tia, is NOT a good actress.
  • Stage Ham:... Really? I thought, you know, being alive for so long as one of the last Alicorn Gods alive, gives you more experience than the longest-living crone. I mean, for the love of Prince Renaissance! What have you both been DOING with your lives?
  • Luna: Most of it was spent with our parents, and not much else, so ruling Equestria is practically who we are.
  • Twilight: What about the ret- (Suddenly, she was censored with an alarm sound with a black box that read "NOT THERE YET AND NOT IN SAF CANON CAUSE DIVERGENT TIMELINE")....... Oh, right. According to SAF lore, this is supposed to be still in Season 8 territory cause of "Not catching up yet". Confound the logic of this fanon. Really not helping the current writer has abit of a sour thought for Season 9.
  • Stage Ham: "Pardon?"
  • Twilight: "Ig, ignore that, that was a meta thing, not something to be acknowledged..... (Quietly) Good grief, I'm becoming Pinkie Pie."
  • Stage Ham: ".... Anyway, as I was saying, by all intentions, you two princesses are in politics, acting is second nature."
  • Celestia: "I'm afraid that's a cynical viewing of politics."
  • Luna: "(Quietly) Though not to say it's always inaccurate."
  • Celestia: "Well, that's to say, there's actually more nuances and difference between being a face of leadership and putting on a show. The two don't nessersarly come hand in hand naturally as some like to cynically think."
  • Stage Ham: "..... Abit unplanned but not inconvenient. When I was directing the play for Sugercube the Musical with literally the most greenhorn actors presented to me, I made it work and have the play work WITH the armature acting, with albeit some improvement for the actors just to be safe."
  • Time Crunch: "Believe me, I tried telling him to just settle with actors with the best make up artists and props Broadhay can bye! It was like talking to a BRICK WALL! He's DEAD serious on this!"
  • Twilight: But, SH, are you sure Celestia and Luna need to ACT to make this magic work?
  • Stage Ham:... See, here's the deal: The relic that makes all the others work, and the most powerful that I could come by, and one I've had to pay A FRONT AND BACK LEG FOR, hails from Prince Renaissance, the Alicorn God I just mentioned, and the Alicorn God of expression, music, arts, prophecy, poetry, and archery. And HIS magic works best in magic PERTAINING to him.
  • Luna:... Well, that changes things. Tia? You think we should talk to our parents, or any other Alicorn Gods we came across for that matter, about this?
  • Stage Ham: THERE ARE MORE?!
  • Celestia: (Sighs) Luna, can we PLEASE keep those like Paradoxxus in confidentiality here?
  • Luna: Sorry, but, uh, should we ask them?
  • Celestia: Well, I believe so. I don't see any other way.
  • Twilight: (Sighs) This... This is actually interesting. I've wanted to experience the history of the Alicorn Gods for myself. Sure I could do that with Zecora's potion, but the ingredients for that stuff aren't easy to come by. I mean, a LOT of ingredients are hard to come by, like that... Rather arbitrary cure for the Cutie Pox involving some truth-eating flower.
  • Stage Ham: Ah, it's a magical world, sweetheart, that's KINDA how it works. But yes, this is the only way I can see this working.
  • Celestia: Well, I'm sorry, Mister Ham, but- (Scoffs a bit)... Ahem, but I haven't had any experience in acting.
  • Stage Ham: "Again, still found that ironic cause of you being in politics."
  • Twilight: "Well you were just told that there's a fineline between being a leader and an actor.... For the most part."
  • Time Crunch: "(Checks watch) Sir, this is obviously not going anywhere, so we may as well-"
  • Stage Ham: "(Quietly) Crunchy, I still got this in the bag. (Openly) Tell you what. If you insist that there are, performances issues, I'm more then happy to recommend you to the attention of Equestria's most pregitious acting couch. (Pulls out a card) Count Facade."
  • Twilight: "(Deadpan) Count Facade?"
  • Stage Ham: "Don't be discouraged by that name, dear, this guy knows his stuff. (Gives Twilight the Card) He has trained some of the now most famous actors known in Equestria and beyond! This guy, once helped an actor that used to be SO BAD, even Crickets were silent at him! Now, that actor, Ham E. Actor, is now the leading role to even some of MY plays when it called for it! There was also one an actress who used to suffer REALLY bad stage fright! She wouldn't be in the SAME BUILDING as a stage?! It was THAT bad!"
  • Twilight: "Well, at least I know who I'll show Fluttershy to should she ever wanna get into singing."
  • Stage Ham: "Oh believe me honey, your friend would not be disappointed. That Actress, Ana-Stagia Frightra, is now so outgoing and confidant, she even turned a rampaging rogue dragon into a number one fan through an improvised musical performance! And how can I forget Facade's success story in La La Le Danca!"
  • Twilight: "La La Le Danca? Sweet Celestia, if the Lougers were here, much less Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, they'd be laughing their flanks off!"
  • Stage Ham: "La La used to be a TERRORABLE DANCER?! It was because she was borned with her frontlegs longer their backlegs! Facade got her to DANCE like an angel! Now she runs her own dance academy in a successful career!"
  • Luna: "Well if Facade was able to help ponies out of CLEAR physical limitations, then I'm convinced that Facade is a miracle worker."
  • Stage Ham: "You know it! He helped me out alot of times, the Sugercube musical included! There was NEVER an Actor he couldn't turned into a super star!"
  • Time Crunch: "(Quietly) He's obnoxiously expensive, though."
  • Stage Ham: Well of COURSE! Someone who's SO good HAS to be so expensive. That's how economy works. But yes, Facade, as daunting as his name sounds, works WONDERS on ponies like her.
  • Celestia:... Why do I have the feeling his name sounds familiar?
  • Twilight: No idea, but, who are we to look a gift-us in the mouth? If he can help you out of your conundrum, then all I can say is it's worth it. It'll certainly make the people in the School of Friendship happy enough to ignore the stuff that's been going on since 2018. Since Neighsay briefly shut down the place and the EEA was decommissioned for the time being, we've ALL been on our hooves or toes. Even with the silly rumors, ESPECIALLY from Shen, that there's a traitor in the school.
  • Stage Ham:... You've had this problem, for 3 years?
  • (Deadpool):... Did MSM just successfully fix the time plothole with Season 8 and now? Well I'll be damned. That shit's been scratching my head for awhile now- (He was pulled out by a cane again) AAHHH, I HATE THAT CANE!!!
  • Twilight: Yeah, the School of Friendship was meant to spread our philosophy of friendship all across the world.
  • Stage Ham:... So, basically a school meant to bring world peace?
  • Twilight: That's the simpler term, I suppose. Heh. But, of course, world politics don't get perfect in only a year. It needs MORE than 1 year to work. I've already got enough on my plate. I'm still suffering bad publicity when I nearly stole Queen Novo's magic pearl.
  • Time Crunch: Yeah yeah yeah, politics, who cares? All WE care about here is Stage Ham's play here.
  • Stage Ham: TC, I know you're the most impatient pony in Equestria, but PLEASE, show some courtesy here. You do NOT want to make us look disrespectful here, do you?
  • Time Crunch: No, that's more YOUR specialty. Just do it so we can get this over with.
  • Twilight: Yeesh, lady, what's your damage?
  • Stage Ham: Ignore her. Crunch Time was, always about being punctual. Anyway, I'm sure my play will DEFINITELY put your students in a good mood and make them better. Certainly need it after such a s****y year.
  • Time Crunch: But we didn't even HAVE CO-
  • Stage Ham: Nevertheless, it's s****y for THEM in ANOTHER way. Like, say, the stress of having to deal with the EEA.
  • Time Crunch:... Good point. Continue.
  • Twilight: Well, if that's what it takes, then count me in. I'd DEFINITELY love- Uh, I mean, WE would love to see what you got for us.
  • Celestia:... So, uh... Where pray tell IS this Count Facade?
  • Stage Ham: "Oh he's back at Broadhay. He used to be Canterlot, but I had Magic-Mailed him to come to Broadhay to help with the production. He and his daughter need it."
  • Twilight: "Well how come NOW are we hearing about him?
  • Stage Ham: "Facade is otherwise, a very private pony. Very under the radar type. He only lets himself be known to clientele."
  • Time Crunch: "(Quietly) It's also because he's a recluse."
  • Stage Ham: "BUT, he is dedicated to his work when there is need of it."
  • Twilight: "And we will take your word on it, Mr. Ham- (Snickers abit then stops herself), I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll be sure to invite my friends to see the production site. I know Rarity must've known about you and would DIE to see you! Don't be surprised if she tries to offer help with the costumes."
  • Stage Ham: "Oh sure! (Bringys out a large stack of VIP passes) I have passes to those that are friends of the Princess of Friendship! How many you want?"
  • Twilight: "Outside of myself, about 8, for my friends, Starlight and Spike."
  • Stage Ham: "...... Wow. Only 8 friends?"
  • Crunch Time: "Wow your a sucky princess of friendship if THAT'S your inner circle! I'd figured you have friends coming outta yer ass with a title like that!"
  • Twilight: "Ugh, I hate it when people confuse the title of friendship to assume that I have an army of friends. It's not that blantent."
  • Stage Ham: "But otherwise, but alcourse! (Gives out 8 passes) Plus, (Pulls out a special pass) A Field Trip pass if you want to take the school as well."
  • Twilight: "Thank you, but, a field trip without prior permission from parents and/or guardians would be sudden and-"
  • Stage Ham: "Oh don't worry, Broadhay's the safest place in Manehatten, they'll learn how plays work, AND, free food."
  • Pinkie: "(Pops in litterally out of thin out) FREE FOOOOOOOOD?!"
  • Stage Ham: "(Freaks out in strange unidentified European languise)! RANDOM PINK HORSE?!"
  • Twilight: "PINKIE?! HOW DID YOU GET HERE SO-..... (Quietly) Don't question it, it's Pinkie Pie."
  • Crunch Time: "..... Did that Mare just popped in out of existence?"
  • Pinkie: "(Pounces on Twilight) CAN WE GO TWILIGHT, HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH?! CAN WE GO?!"
  • Twilight: "..... Well, I'd suppose it would encourage Euri to be able to be on a closer proxinimy to Buzzord AND keep him out of trouble. I hope. It would be a nice experience for the students."
  • Stage Ham: "WUNDEBAR, MISS SPARKLE?! You won't regret it, your highness! (Trots off excitedly)"
  • Time Crunch:... No, seriously.... WHO, IS THAT, PINK ABNORMALITY, PRINCESS?!?
  • Twilight: This is Pinkie Pie.
  • Pinkie: HELLO, NEW FRIEND! (Singing) WELCOME WELCOME WEL-
  • Time Crunch: NO! None of THAT! SHAME ON YOU! I just-
  • Pinkie: (Her tail twitches) Oh boy! Better watch out.
  • Time Crunch: Why, what's abo- (Derpy accidentally dropped a package on her head)...
  • Derpy: SORRY, Ma'am!
  • Time Crunch:...
  • Pinkie: Yeah, that's my Pinkie Sense.
  • Twilight: Yeah, don't question it. MUCH of her doesn't make sense.
  • Time Crunch:... Well, it's finally happened. I've gotten so exhausted with my work, I've gone insane. Princess, I have NO idea what fifth dimension you made THAT friend from, but I would rather not ask. Stage Ham needs- (Pinkie laughed hysterically)... Me! (She left)
  • Pinkie: HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! WHO'S THAT?!?
  • Twilight:... Just, come with me, Pinks. I'll explain everything.

School of Friendship

  • Gallus:... A play about the history of the Alicorn Gods?
  • Yona: That sounds... Promising, really.
  • Sandbar: Yeah. Alicorn Gods LITERALLY know we've never seen magic like that, in EONS!
  • Rhabdom: Indeed not.
  • Clyde: Pheh. I've probably seen MUCH better s*** than ANY Alicorn God whimsy.
  • Ocellus: Well, you probably HAVEN'T!
  • Rainbow Dash: Oh, he hasn't. But he WILL! People said that the ages of the Alicorn Gods was a sight that comes only ONCE in MASSIVE lifetimes.... I mean, since, we're not in the First Cartoonian War anymore.
  • Applejack: People let alone that ponies don't know jack about that time.
  • Rainbow Dash: EXACTLY!
  • Twilight: So, Stage Ham is- (Many of the students chuckled at that)... (Deep breath)... He's offering to give Celestia acting lessons with some guy named Count Facade.
  • Gallus:... Uhhhh, Twitwi, are you SURE that's a good idea?
  • Twilight: Okay, I know the name sounds SUSPICIOUS, but, a LOT of ponies' names sound suspicious.
  • Silverstream: Yeah, I'd say it's MORE than ponies.
  • Ocellus: So, uh, what does acting have to do with all this?
  • Twilight: Stage says he has some relic that belonged to... Prince Renaissance.
  • Polarity: The Alicorn God of arts, music, and stuff?
  • Twilight: The very same. So, yeah, it's magic has GOT to be 100% accurate. But, it only works for people who are the BEST actors. So, an Alicorn God has to be the BEST actor. So, that's where Celestia comes in.
  • Gaster:... That is so arbitrary.
  • Caster: Tell me about it.
  • Buster: It's magic. It's SUPPOSED to be.
  • Twilight: Ahem. Anyway, we hope that this will ease people on what's been going on lately. We'll feel so much better after the stuff involving the EEA.
  • Shore Joy: I'm shocked it's still been a thing after 3 years.
  • Wavelength: "All that was meant to be done within Season 8, but the canon series moved too fast and SAF refused to acknowledge the post-affairs and the finally till it's caught up."
  • Shore Joy: "...... Ohhhhh, kaaaaaaaay?"
  • (Deadpool): "Blame that on SAF being slow on production- (Yoinked by the cane again) YIPE?!"
  • Sandbar: It's called politics, babe. Canterlot wasn't built in a day. The Storm Clan REALLY f****d it all up.
  • Smolder: Pheh. Like a boring magic show is gonna lift our spirits.
  • Gaster: I think you mean, like a boring magic show is gonna lift YOUR spirits.
  • Quartz: Yeah, we dragons aren't easily impressed. We're more the hardcore type.
  • Smolder: Oh, I'm SURE you learned WHY in class. Our land is a land of hell and survival. We had to become aggressive in response.
  • Quartz: We didn't ask for a repeated lesson.
  • Smolder: Sorry, just making sure you guys remembered and prevent a RACIST REMARK!!! Especially coming from YOU!!
  • Gallus: Ugh, here we go again.
  • Quartz: I'M A BABY, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!
  • Smolder: Yeah, like that's a good excuse.
  • Yona: Well, it's not exactly racist if it's true.
  • Smolder: YOU WANT TO COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT, SMASHHEAD?!
  • Yona: Watch it. I may know PROPER Ponish, but I'm still a yak, and I can smash you like the Worldbuster Hulk if I could.
  • Smolder: HAH! Exaggeration much?
  • Yona: It's called hyperbole. Maybe you should've paid attention in class to learn that.
  • Skyceria: Still, it was PRETTY excessive even for a hyperbole.
  • Yona: Oh, I've heard of yaks that can SMASH MOUNTAINS, so there's no such thing as excessive hyperbole to a yak.
  • Smolder: Probably because smashing is all you yaks are good for.
  • Yona: OH, NOW LOOK WHO'S BEING RACIST!!
  • Clyde: Technically, it's speciesism.
  • Yona: MIGHT AS WELL BE RACISM!!
  • Applesauce: Now now, everycreature, let's all just calm down and-
  • Smolder: Oh, I'm sorry, I refuse to talk to CLONES MADE FOR EVIL!!
  • Applesauce: EXCUSE ME?! There is no reason to bring that dirty laundry back in?!
  • Gallus: Okay, Smolder, can you chill the F*** out?!
  • Smolder: BITCH, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
  • Rhabdom: ENOUGH!!! (Everyone stopped)... Ahem! Uh, maybe THIS is why we need this play. WE need reevaluation too. The stress from the EEA is getting to all of us, and if we don't take it slow, we're ALL gonna crack!
  • Smolder: Well, I'd do crack at this point.
  • Antique: WHAT THE TART?!
  • Smolder: I'M JOKING! YEESH!
  • Rhabdom:... Yeah. That proves my point. We, NEED, a breather. A field trip. Something that can calm us down.
  • Sepia: "I like to view it as my first experience of a play on land. The Krakens have done plays themselves."
  • Snipeskale: "Play with what?"
  • Smolder: "...... Is that to imploy Gargoyles don't know about plays?"
  • Snipeskale: "(Snickers), I'm just yanking chains! We did some plays from time to time..... Buuuuuuut...... Alot of them are retired, cause, well..... We used to be, spicier about our old history with ponies."
  • Sandbar: "We'll, take your word for it."
  • Phoebe: "It better not be somewhere too damn cold."
  • Polarity: "Oh come on, Phoebe, Broadhay's in a generally warm area, especially which how quick Winter Wrap-Up has been."
  • Phoebe: "Well ain't we miss positive?"
  • Little Dipper: "Well I just hope the stage lights aren't too bright. Even as a purified Taraxippus, concentrated light has a habit of booting me back into my people's home realm. It's a light and dark thing."
  • Clyde: "I see ya do fine with the sun."
  • Little Dipper: "I said "Concentrated". That means it has to be very direct and focused. Sunlight's too indirect to really do too much. Also, you're thinking of vampires."
  • Clyde: "Well yeah, but the sun's a light too! It is a big giant space lightbulb!"
  • Little Dipper: "....... Bruh."
  • Clyde: "And it works perfectly on us because Equestria, (Comedic close up) IS FLAT?!"
  • Awkward Silence.....
  • Clyde: "..... Shocked ya with my hardcore truth, huh?"
  • Sepia: "...... Told you all it was a bad idea to let him hang out with the new student that believes in that junk."
  • Twilight: "..... (To herself on a recorder) Future note: Have Clyde be given private tutoring to Electross on PROPER astral science."
  • Smolder: Heh. THIS guy has a POOR choice of friends if those who left him over some FRAUD is any indication.
  • Clyde: Watch it, bitch.
  • Rhabdom: SO HELP ME ALICORN GODS, IF ONE OF US STARTS A FIGHT AGAIN, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A PHYSICAL PAIN WORSE THAN SPANKING!
  • Quartz: Whoa, whoa, let's not resort to THAT child-abusive act, let alone something worse.
  • Silverstream: Yeah, so let's NOT fight again. ESPECIALLY the most aggressive or short-tempered of us.
  • Yona: So glad I'm one of the rare yaks that don't have it THAT bad.
  • Smolder: Yeah, good for y-
  • Rhabdom: (She shapeshifted into a giant kraken)...
  • Smolder:... I, uh, meant about not having anger issues. Hehe.
  • Rhabdom: That's better. (She shapeshifted back) ANYONE ELSE WANT TO MAKE A CRUDE REMARK?! (They all paused)... Then we're going to that play, whether you like it or not. About TIME you had a taste of PROPER Equestrian amusement.
  • Clyde: Awww, but plays are LAAAAME!
  • Rhabdom: (She slapped him) YOU'RE lame! This is for the sake of ALL of us. Now, let Twilight finish.
  • Twilight: By Celestia's mane, Rhabdom, when did you become so... Assertive?
  • Rhabdom: "The very moment I felt like I'm the only sane one now given how everyone else was acting."
  • Caster: "Gosh you're beautiful when yer demanding."
  • Buster: "Wait, Rhabdom's a girl?"
  • Rhabdom: "..... (Deadpan) Case in point."
  • Gaster: "It'd helped if your name doesn't sound like you have a penis in the trunk."
  • Rhabdom: "Didn't exactly got to choose my name ya know."
  • Twilight: 'Rhabdom' is a translucent cylinder forming part of the light-sensitive receptor in the eye of an arthropod.
  • Ocellus: Oh, so HER name is an ocular play like mine.
  • Rhabdom:... You didn't know that?
  • Ocellus: I'm a young Changeling, what did you expect?
  • Rhabdom: I don't know, maybe SOME semblance of smarts on insect anatomy, since, you know, WE'RE INSECT-BASED! Anyway, we're going to that play.
  • Twilight:... Uh... Thanks, Rhabdom.
  • Rhabdom: Someone had to do it. These constant 3-year arguments have been getting on my nerves. We NEED a field trip, NOW, more than ever.
  • Twilight: Well don't worry. THIS play will be unlike any other. Literally, since we're getting our FIRST taste of Alicorn God magic at it's rawest besides the ones we already have. We can see how the Alicorn Gods defeated Tyranny all those eons ago, and it'll be made from the magic of the Alicorn God of arts and music himself.
  • Cozy Glow: Well, good. I'm starting to get annoyed by these howler monkeys and their CONSTANT antics!
  • Smolder: HOWLER MONKEYS?!
  • Rhabdom: (Transformed into an ichneumon)
  • Smolder: YIPE!! OKAY, I'LL SHUT UP!!!
  • Rhabdom: (She transformed back)... Well, what're we waiting for? Let's get packed.
  • Gallus: "Well not like we have anything else to do now."
  • Little Dipper: Aside from, you know, wallowing in each other's unbearable stressed presence. If we've learned ANYTHING in the past 3 years, it's how to rub off on each other. ESPECIALLY Twilight.
  • Silverstream:... Solid burn, LD. Let's go, everyone. (They went to their dorms)
  • Starlight:... You sure this Facade person can do this for Celestia?
  • Twilight: Well, Stage Ham- (Starlight scoffs)... Said that he's worked wonders for people who have the worst acting skills imaginable, to the point where it's LITERALLY in their names.
  • Spike: I swear, people have the WORST parents EVER these days! I mean, if you name someone something like Mike Hunt- (Scoffs)... Sorry, Smolder told me that one... Aren't you just BEGGING for them to be exactly what their name suggests?
  • Twilight: But Facade, despite his name, will SURELY help Celestia out of her conundrum. We can all be cheered up in no time.
  • Spike: Yeah, I'll believe that when I see it. No offense, Twilight, but much of your plans don't work out well.
  • Twilight: Hurtful, though not inaccurate. But it's the best way I can get these students out of the pit of frustration right now. Unless the EEA decide to sabotage it, AGAIN, we'll be fine.
  • Starlight: Oh, you just HAD to say that! The EEA are ALWAYS involved in our affairs here, Twilight!
  • Twilight: Oh, at this point, I don't give a damn, I'm just as frustrated as THEY are. If the EEA DOES show up, at least we'll have someone to take the frustration out on.
  • Starlight:... Yeah, true.
  • Twilight: "Also, it'll give Miss Euri more legroom to keep close to Buzzord and keep him from anymore, mishaps."
  • Starlight: "Ahhhh, I can see that. This school could DEFINITELY use a break from that!"
  • Spike: "I still have nightmares about the thing with the tower that turned us into toilets. Now I'm EXTRA terrorized of those Sonic-Toilet arts."
  • Starlight: Then we'll need THIS to distract us from additional frustrations like that. C'mon. (They went off)

Dorms.

  • Gaster was seen trying to stuff his bag with alot of personal things.
  • Gaster: "Just, one, more, PUUUUSH?!"
  • Caster and Buster were seen feeling their bags with all sorts of prank items and knickknacks.
  • Caster: "(Snickers), (Quietly) These pranks will certainly enhance the fun we'll rake on this fieldtrip."
  • Buster: "(Snickers), (Quietly). Can't wait till we're able to spike the concession fruit punch with a giant rubbery spider."
  • Shore and Sandbar were seen helping each other pack their things.
  • Shore: (Dubbed as Karen) Oh, Sandy, this field trip is gonna be so great!
  • Sandbar: (Dubbed as Plankton) Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe.
  • Clyde: "...... Why are you two talking in extremely different voices?"
  • Sandbar: "Oh, the Lougers do this alot too whenever they are here. They call it "Momentary Voice-Quote Change", of MVQC. It's nothing serious and only happens at random."
  • Clyde: ".... Let me try! Ahem! (Dubbed as Popeye) I'M POPEYE THE SAILER MAN?! (A random "Toot-Toot" was heard)...... (Normal voice) Holy SHIT, it works?! (Dubbed as the Terminator) I'll be back! (Dubbed as Darth Vader) (Breaths), The force is strong with this one! (Dubbed as Pumbaa) HAKUNA, MATATA?! It means no worries?! (Dubbed as Shrek) WHAT, ARE YA DOING IN MY SWAMP?! (Dubbed as the Lost in Space Robot) DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER?!"
  • Gallus: "(SMACKS CLYDE UPSIDE THE HEAD) WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF, DUMBASS?!"
  • Shore: "Take it easy, Gallus, it's just Clyde..... Being Clyde."
  • Gallus: "Well I'm just being Gallus in not having time for BULLSHIT! (Goes off to go back to packing up)...."
  • Sandbar: "..... I think the EEA stress has gotten to Gallus."
  • Gaster: Really? I couldn't tell. No, really. I COULDN'T! I REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
  • Sandbar: Okay, we get it! Yeesh. Look, guys, you're gonna have to put the pranks away.
  • Caster: WHAT?! WHY?!
  • Shore: Because we can't have us shaming ourselves in front of Staged-Ham's- (They snickered a bit) Okay it's not THAT funny!... Peers. If we look like insensitive jerks, then we won't exactly look like we represent the School of Friendship, and we'll ONLY be doing the EEA's rogues a favor.
  • Buster: B-B-But, we LOVE pranking!
  • Shore: Too bad! ANYONE can use them against us.
  • Caster: Then what're we supposed to DO?! Plays are BORING!
  • Shore: Again, TOO BAD! Life isn't always being cheap jokesters, you know. There's PLENTY more you can do.
  • Caster: Like what?
  • Shore: I don't know, you tell me.
  • Buster: "Duh..... That's, a good question."
  • Sandbar: "Well I'm sure you guys can figure it out."
  • Skyceria: "(On a communication plant) Yes Promenade, I am going on a filed trip to Broadhay. (The Plant started to make phone garble) NO you can't come, it's a school thing! (Plant-Phone Garble) Yes, I can try to take back some of the concession food for you. (Plant-Phone Garble) Okay, I'll check of they have chocolate pastries, but you have to promise to share and not eat it all in a gulp! (Plant-Phone Garble) WHADDA MEAN NO NECESSARY PROMISES?! You either make a promise or you don't, THERE'S NO GREY AREA!! (Plant-Phone Garble) YES, EVEN IF YOU ARE PRINCESS PROMENADE!!"
  • The Plant Phone Garbled one more time.
  • Skyceria: "Okay, glad at least you agreed to 50/50. (Plant-Phone Garble) Love you too, sis. (The Plant swoops back into a plat pot).... (She put her face in a nearby pillow) MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
  • Quartz: "Weird, I kinda thought you two started a better connetion after the Peryton incident."
  • Skyceria: "Oh don't get me wrong, my relations with Promenade is still better than ever now. Doesn't mean she isn't gonna still have her quirks. I mean, hey, it's a sister thing to get on each other's nerves sometimes, even in the best of standings to each other."
  • Quartz: "Well it's just that you sounded very aggressive about the food thing."
  • Skyceria: "(Deadpan) Cause Prom has this habit of whenever I go to some place cool, she always calls me to either let her come or at least bring her back food and souvenirs. Now again, my relationship with Prom is still better than ever, but, I'm worried she's getting into a new bad habit of taking advantage of the fact that I go to cool places."
  • Quartz: "Well it's good you told her she can't come cuz, no offense, but your sister would've been a NIGHTMARE to Stage Ham's play- (Breaks into laughter), I-I'M SORRY, I, I CAN'T SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE!"
  • Skyceria: "Well that and I don't have an extra pass for her, NOR is she a part of the School, so the field trip pass can't cover her either."
  • Quartz: "Well when did the habit start?"
  • Skyceria: "Kinda recently from late last year when Buzzord took us to Spookavania and I brought back Jack'o'Lanturn Lamps as souvenirs in time for Nightmare Night. Kinda been a thing since. It's only recently she discovered that I can also get free food for her in those same trips. Mom and Dad recently placed her on a diet after she kinda went wild on the holiday cake..... Like, "Someone get a liposuction" wild."
  • Quartz: Ew!
  • Skyceria: Darn right ew! But at best, I hope to GODS that she doesn't show up herself. Last time I went to a cool place ON THIS WORLD, she came in abruptly and embarrassed me with her usual antics. I mean, come ON! Can't she give me a GODDAMN BREAK FOR ONCE?! How can she expect me to bond close to me when she bonds with me TOO CLOSELY?!
  • Quartz: Yeah, like I said, your sister is an egomaniacal NIGHTMARE wherever she goes! But hey, since Tempest proved she's got some coward inside her, I think YOU of all perytons can tell her you won't take her s***!
  • Skyceria: Oh, TOTALLY! If she DOES show up, I'll make it CLEAR that (Mimicking her) 'PRINCESS PROMENADE' (Normally) is NOT ruining this reevaluation and break from the stress the EEA gave us. If anything, she'll just make it WORSE!
  • Quartz: Ohoho, I'll do MORE to her than just talking her down or whatever Tempest did to her... OR EVEN WINGER FOR THAT MATTER! (With a devilish tone) There's ALWAYS more to cut off than wings!
  • Skyceria:... Can we, NOT get carried away here?
  • Quartz: I'm a dragon, can't help it. But yeah, let's pray to the dead Alicorn Gods AND the living ones that she doesn't show up.
  • Skyceria: I'd rather pray to the nature Alicorn Gods. May their souls rest well.
  • Quartz: They've likely been doing that for eons.
  • Skyceria:... Are you ALWAYS such a smarty-mouth?
  • Quartz: Again, dragon.
  • Skyceria: "But weren't you trying to be one of the nicer ones?"
  • Quartz: "Well, hanging out with Smolder kinda had an effect on me."
  • Skyceria: "I can see that."
  • Quartz: But hey, like Spike, I'm as nice as I CAN be. Kids who swear not to cuss end up doing it anyway when they grow up, so, maturity is gonna be a bitch or it won't. Whichever one happens.
  • Skyceria: Whatever. Not my business anyway. Let's hope this plan of SH's goes well, and hope MORE that my sister does NOT crash it.
  • Gaster: "Tell me about it. Your sister is literally the Buzzord of Royalty, just without haphazard inventions, but all the dumbassery."
  • Sepia: "Yikes, you guys are painting a really negative picture of her."
  • Gaster: "Believe us, newbie, it's a well-earned picture!"
  • Skyceria: True. I painted pictures like that in anger management classes.
  • Snipescale: "Well, take it from me, kid. I was around her during the fiasco with the Perytons where I first met these guys, and let me say..... Not fun to hang around."
  • Smolder: "Yeah, take it from us, Squid-Kid, Promenade is a literal definition of spoiled from the dictionary come to life."
  • Skyceria: Ohho, she's more than that. But whatever, let's not give karma a chance to include her here.
  • Sepia: I don't believe in karma.
  • Skyceria: Ohho, trust me... You WILL!

Meanwhile...

  • Twilight: "Now Barktrot, we're going to put you in charge of the school while we and the students go to Broadhay..... Help Euri to make sure Buzzord, isn't himself while we're away."
  • Barktrot: "If you mean keep his shenanigans down a minumum, then I assure you, he will be made to go cold turkey for his invention habits, down to not even having toybox privileges. The School will be kept in stable shape."
  • Rainbow Dash: "Thanks, Barktrot. And sorry you and the others weren't able to come. It's just, we felt like Buzzy-"
  • Barktrot: "Might screw up the play badly enough to ruin Stage Ham's career? Say no more. He probably would've introduced a faulty thespian robot that just explouds or go crazy anyway. Or both."
  • Applejack: "Wouldn't be surprised considering what he always does when we go on these kinds of adventures."
  • Barktrot: Everything will be fine. I'll make DARN sure of it.
  • Twilight: Good. Well, girls, we got stuff to do. It's off to Canterlot.
  • Pinkie: "Wait, I thought we were going to Braodhay in Manehatten."
  • Twilight: "Sorry, force of habit. Time to go to Manehatten for Broadhay."
  • Pinkie: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm a little cautious. We're in a cartoon, which means ANYTHING can happen here. It's basically cartoon law.
  • Pinkie: Hey, that's MY thing.
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, madness spreads to all of us.
  • Pinkie:... True.
  • Barktrot: Look, I'm sure what YOU'RE doing is more important than what I do anyway. Just another Buzzord accident is nothing compared to you guys getting the students' spirits up. We can fix Buzzord's messes, but we can't fix THEIR spirits. The STUDENTS are the blood of a school.
  • Twilight: Heh. No argument here. Well, if s*** DOES happen here, yeesh, after a while, swearing feels LESS likely of me now, I'm sure you can handle it.
  • Barktrot: I WILL! If I've learned anything here, it's how to show discipline.
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah we're running out of time, so we'll take your word for it.
  • Twilight: C'mon, girls, time to make some magic. (They left)
  • Barktrot:... Okay, Barktrot, you can handle this- (An explosion was heard alongside the Mane Group)
  • Twilight:... Priorities, everypony.
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah, what's one little Buzzord explosion compared to the students?
  • (Buzzord): AWWWWWW, MAAAAN, F*** THIS NOISE, MAAAANN!!! MUTHAF***!!!
  • (Barktrot): Uhgh, not again.

Later, On The Train...

  • Gallus:... Ugh. Never liked taking the train. What's the point when you have wings? Plus, I'm the LAST creature to be boarding a train. (He saw ponies looking awfully at him and keeping their money away from him)..... Dang frustrating that the Goldstone crud managed to keep relevant for THIS LONG?!
  • Pony 1: "In our defense, it's not like Griffins suddenly turned generous after that mess!"
  • Gallus groaned.
  • Daylight: ".... To be fair, you can argue that Goldstone was simply a case of Griffin greed gone too far. It wasn't like Griffin greed was a thing solely because of him."
  • Gallus: "Ugh, I get that, but, it's still maddening!"
  • Phoebe: Well, if they're still on about that Goldstone incident, that's THEIR problem.
  • Polarity: Now everyone, those are NOT the words of a student of friendship. We should learn to turn the other cheek in the face of skepticism of others.
  • Gallus: Wouldn't expect YOU to understand racial tension.
  • Polarity:... Gallus, it's not that I don't understand, it's just, I try to see things in a "Glass Half Full" way. I focus more on the good then the bad, bring the best in others.
  • Gallus: THAT'S WHAT I AM SAYING?! You're so positive all the time just like Equestria, and yet, THEY nearly got their asses handed to them by the Storm King. At this point, positivity and optimism translates to ignorance and utter stupidity.
  • Polarity:... Are you implying that seeing the best in things is liken to stupidity?
  • Gallus: Wha, oh, nonono, of course not!
  • Polarity: Then what WERE you saying?
  • Gallus:... You know what, forget it!
  • Smolder: (Sighs) He WAS saying it.
  • Gallus: DAMN IT, SMOLDER!
  • Polarity: "..... Gallus, just because I try not to pay negativity any mind, doesn't mean I'm an ignoramous for it?! It's called not letting it tempt you into being apart of it! Being a Hearth Reindeer, I have to understand that!"
  • Gallus: "Ugh, okay, so maybe not so much as stupid as being starry eyed?! BETTER?!"
  • Polarity: "..... My feelings are still hurt though."
  • Gallus: "...... OH THANKS ALOT, SMOLDER, NOW I MIGHT NOT GET PRESENTS FOR THE NEXT HOLIDAY?!"
  • Smolder: Oh come on, she was not being very aware of your problems here.
  • Polarity: "I wasn't being ignorent, I was saying that we shouldn't pay negativity any mind!"
  • Smolder: "Okay, more like you were saying we should just ignore like it's nothing! Well I'm letting you know that Gallus takes this problem REALLY seriously, so PARDON HIM FOR PAYING ATTENTION TO IT, MISS HOLI-JOLLY-CHRISMAS?!"
  • Polarity: "You leave my cousin out of this, she's not even in this school!"
  • Smolder: "..... BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA?! SERIOUSLY, GIRL?! YOU HAVE A COUSIN NAMED LIKE THAT?! OH THAT IS SO-"
  • ???: AHEM! (Rhabdom was seen several seats down)
  • Smolder:... (Sighs) Alright, I'm sorry. Polarity, we're all too frustrated by each other to care about our reputation right now... Even if it's for the fact that our reputation is on the line.
  • Polarity: It's alright. Even these ponies, as pure as they are, are not above negativity. But still, it's best not to look careless in front of them.
  • Rhabdom: See? This trip will possibly be good for us after all.
  • Gallus: Don't push it. To us, plays are still lackluster. We're not ALL like ponies here.
  • Rhabdom: But Polarity is right. If you want to save your reputation from the EEA, the least you can do is act like it in the presence of the public. Otherwise your misbehavior can and will be used against you.
  • Smolder: Please, the EEA are a bunch of washouts, who's gonna listen to ANY of THEM?
  • Rhabdom: "You'd be amazed how far the right blackmail can go to get an audience. And we're in dicey enough terms for the fact we have a nutty inventor for a teacher as is. Don't add to it by picking fights with loudmouths or the overtly opinionated."
  • Gallus: "Yeesh, for as much as you argued with the Tree of Harmony, ya sure almost talk like it."
  • Rhabdom: "Hey hey hey, that tree was like a back-up mother to me back when I lived in them caves! Try giving it some due respect!"
  • Gallus: "Okay okay, sorry, it's just, you were kinda giving lectures like it."
  • Rhabdom: "Eh, I guess the tree just sort've grew on me for living in it. But seriously, cool the temper, huh? Cause it would help to not make Griffins look like they have short fuses too."
  • Gallus: ".... Ugh, toushe, sea-changeling."
  • Ocellus: Thank goodness! I HATE seeing us all argue like this. This is NOT us! So, I'm gonna have to finally put my hoof down for for this one. I don't want to hear another cross word! It makes me feel SO twisted inside.
  • Smolder: I always assumed you were used to us bickering.
  • Ocellus: Fair assumption, but still, let's TRY to take this seriously.
  • Smolder: Ugh! Fine! Just, don't get your slimy toothed hole in a twist.
  • Ocellus:... Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?
  • Smolder: "Well we're both girls, so I wasn't being the first one, and the second one depends on if what I said is true or not."
  • Ocellus: "We last I checked, we don't have that."
  • Smolder: "Then sorry for the second thing."
  • Rhabdom: See? Now you're learning.
  • Smolder: Again, don't push it.
  • Rhabdom:... (Sighs) I guess now you see why Ember brought you here?
  • Smolder: Please, she's dating the son of her father's rival. I'm not doing this for HER.... For the most part. I mean, it's more like I'm here BECAUSE of her, I mean, let's be real here, unlike Quartz, I was not a dragon that actively seeks to be around ponies back then. But just because Ember got me here doesn't mean it's for her sake.
  • Rhabdom: Then why are you here if it's not because Ember told you to?
  • Smolder:... Because... Well... It's for personal reasons. All I'll say it involves my brother who, I'll not name cause of, reasons. Let's just say he's been.... Having bad friends lately.
  • Gallus: "How bad?"
  • Smolder thought about Garble being around Team Nefarious and all things he got himself involved with....
  • Smolder: "..... Again, let's just say, he got REALLY rotten friends."
  • Shore: "I, take it it's too personal to go into further detail?"
  • (Deadpool): "Well that and it would contradict continuity for the Deviant Art Season 9 Revamp Series-"
  • Splash Wave: DP!!! NO SPOILERS!!!!
  • (Deadpool): Well SOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRY!!!
  • Gallus: Also, we do NOT want to talk to YOU after your little stunt at our school.
  • (Deadpool): OH COME ON, IT WAS ONE TIME!!
  • Gallus: "You'd be amazed on how far a bad first impression can go!"
  • (Deadpool): You guys are so-
  • Splash Wave: (She tail-smacked him away) ANYWAY, back to the plot. Smoldy, I'm sure your brother will get better friends in time. I mean, if we can get to the bottom of it someday and get to that Season 9 episode.
  • Silverstream: What Season 9 episode?
  • Splash Wave: (She took out a neuralyzer and used it on them) THAT one. So, just have faith, okay?
  • Wavelength: Yeah, Splashy's got plenty as is. You guys DID save me from some crazy genocidal plan involving a zoo, so I have faith YOU guys can get through THIS without tearing each other apart.
  • Smolder: Are we still having this argument? We're trying here.
  • Yona: Well, we have to talk about SOMETHING while waiting on this train. It gets BORING when you're just sitting doing nothing.
  • Skyceria: Speak for yourself. You can look out the window and see how well nature has been built in this land.
  • Gaster: We're not all treehuggers here, princess.
  • Skyceria: HEY! You can appreciate nature even if you're NOT from my kingdom, or even Cervia in general.
  • Gaster: Not my fault nature-watching is so, passe!
  • Skyceria:... You're making it hard to appreciate you if you piss on OUR ways like that.
  • Gaster: Can't help being observant, it's only a hard truth.
  • Ocellus: Gaster! Please stop!
  • Gaster:... O... Okay.
  • Skyceria: Wha? For HER?! You used to BULLY HER!! Why would you do what she asks so easily?
  • Gaster: NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!!
  • Caster: Yeah, it's a personal thing.
  • Buster: So yeah, don't go there.
  • Rhabdom: Ugh, this minor bigotry isn't any better. ARE WE THERE YET?!
  • Silverstream:... Yep.
  • Everyone: OH, FINALLY!!!
  • The Train Arrived in Manehatten.
  • The Mane 7 came out first.
  • Rarity: "Ahhhh, being in Manehatten always brings a pep to my step."
  • Rainbow Dash: "Down to the point you break into song?"
  • Rarity: Haha, very funny. But not this time, we've got to save the songs for the play.
  • Smolder: Uggggh! Nocreature said there would be singing.
  • Shore Joy: Well DEAL with it. I find singing to be a good stress reliever.
  • Clyde: "Then in that case, Heavy Metal Rock Bands must have REALLY bad stress!"
  • Twilight: Everycreature, remember what you were taught in class about why we break into song. What is it?
  • Smolder:... Wh-
  • Rhabdom: Just answer her. It's the least you can do.
  • Smolder:... (Sighs) It's a form of expression just like any form of art.
  • Twilight: Exactly. And what Alicorn God CREATED songs and art?
  • Smolder:... Prince Renaissance.
  • Twilight: Yes. (As they left the train and entered Manehatten and Twilight showed them many views as they walked) Prince Renaissance created the arts during the Chaos War to allow mortals and everycreature who was suffering the effects of their battles against Tyranny and all the rampant chaos he spread to express themselves in a way that they can. All he created, art, singing, performing, dancing, everything, it exists as a coping mechanism for the harshness of reality and an expression of emotion. Like magic, it's a product OF emotion. Ponies are powerful WITH emotion. Expression and magic share the same origin. Heck, you dragons have methods of expressing yourselves too. And the reason singing is banned in certain GRIFFIN lands is because a tough and often greedy upbringing has made them easily numb to the power that form of expression has.
  • Smolder:... That is true. Our elemental breath is magic-based.
  • Gallus: Indeed, and our excessive wealth bred complacence, so it made us greedy and proud as a result.
  • Twilight: Exactly. Therefore it's fueled by emotion. In YOUR case, it's anger. Anger is perhaps one of the STRONGEST emotions. But BECAUSE it's so strong, it can be potentially destructive, both for the one causing it as much as the ones they reap it on. WE ponies knew that, and therefore it doesn't rule us the same way it does you. We never grew up in a dangerous land... I mean, we did, but we had Alicorn Gods as our guardian angels. We are the purest beings around, but purity doesn't ALWAYS mean freedom of corruption. It just makes it VERY unlikely. If our purity DID keep us from being corrupted, then ponies like King Sombra wouldn't exist. What makes us so pure is our ability to fight against the toughest of situations. Some cannot, but that's okay. It only proves our resilience against the fantasy that is too dangerous. Art and singing is, in essence, an extension of our purity.
  • Polarity:... She's right, you know. Races all over Equestria evolve their cultures and views based entirely on their upbringing. The lands they live in, the conditions around them, how they prosper, how they fail and succeed, you name it. Dragons are aggressive and powerful because, again, they evolved in an inhospitable land. Griffins became greedy because the massive gold and wealth around them made them complacent. Hippogriffs... Well... Let's just say they're a blend of pony and griffin ways, and their... Often-colorful past proves it. Changelings started out as a subterranean race and with little food they could only feed on magic via the magic of friendship and love. Yaks are primitive and often cavepony-like because their lands shut off easy social structure and the dangers made smashing anything like an instinct. And MY kind? We saw the power emotion provided and our land and close symbiosis to nature... Well, brought us a surplus of magic. That's why we became gift-givers. We had to do SOMETHING with the excess magic we had, and the best way to do so was to give it to those who deserve it. See where I'm getting at?
  • Smolder: Right before you even started talking, lady.
  • Twilight: So, that's why this COULD be the perfect method to calm your stress. Plays like this could allow you to open yourselves up, and THIS kind of play in particular could allow you to see how everything we came to know came to be. What made dragons live in a hostile land, what made griffins so rich and selfish, what made changelings so isolated, what made hippogriffs so conflicted with both their pony and griffin heritage, and yes, even why yaks are... All smash and little brains, no offense.
  • Yona: None taken.
  • Twilight: It even counts for the races we didn't cover. When you think about it, the Chaos War defined each and every race as a whole. This in turn means that the play will open your perspective to the magic of friendship more, and why we ponies are the purest around. To see how you originated, will define your purpose in the School better than any adventure could ever do.
  • Gallus:... You know, you're right. Not many of us know where we came from.
  • Sepia: Not at all.
  • Splash Wave: Heck, the show NEVER specified where cutie marks came from.
  • Clyde: Eh, big deal. I know where this goes a mile away. You basically SPOILED the end of this journey. Spoilers have the same effect as seeing the future. It crushes the chances of that future coming true, let alone makes the future itself happen because the experiences meant to avoid it only make it come true. I know, because I've watched a LOTTA movies.
  • Gaster: Well, you basically spoiled it yourself by bringing that up too early like a cynical moron.
  • Clyde:... Oooooooooh...
  • Quartz: Yeah, way to go, Clyde. Now I don't even FEEL like this play is gonna help us.
  • Yona: Me neither.
  • Clyde: (Sighs) Look, I'm sure SOME of us were smart enough to see it coming too. I can't be the ONLY one who saw it the moment Twilight finished her LOOOOOONG speech. Does knowing what will happen REALLY matter when what happens ends up working anyway?
  • Quartz:...... Yeah... That's actually a good point. We know what'll happen, but, so far, we've come to expect no more and no less from things like this. Why not just go with the flow?
  • Gaster: "Cause some people got the short end of the stick here?"
  • Caster: Uh, yeah, I mean, if you're aware something's gonna happen, it's not like anything's gonna make us feel better about it. Knowing what will happen kinda ruins the point.
  • Buster: So yeah, nothing's changed here. And I KNOW in my gut there's gonna be an EEA member that's gonna f*** it all up. There's ALWAYS an EEA member that f***s things up.
  • Quartz: YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!
  • Buster: Can you prove it?
  • Quartz:... No.
  • Buster: Then why deny it?
  • Gaster: Yeah, I admit, that's true.
  • Twilight: Can we be optimistic here and not think too much?
  • Gaster: Of course YOU'D say that.
  • Twilight:... Excuse me?
  • Rhabdom: GASTER!
  • Gaster: Right right, sorry, but I'm not wrong. THIS is the pony who thought things always work out until Storm King came to town, and the same one who thinks she knows best, to the point where she ATTEMPTS TO STEAL FROM ANOTHER KINGDOM!!
  • Twilight: Ugh, I am SO tired of that being brought up! Every time it does, it ALWAYS deteriorates me.
  • Gaster: Well maybe it should. With all due respect, your highness, optimism was tossed out the door when Storm King came, and it's not gonna easily help you anymore. It's clear this play is not going to change us.
  • Twilight:... (Sighs)... Then you need it even MORE!
  • Gaster: Wha, seriously?!
  • Rhabdom: Well, has arguing and being stressed out for 3 years helped anything?
  • Gaster:... Well, it-
  • Rhabdom: Yes or no!
  • Gaster: DON'T MAKE THE ANSWER HARDER-
  • Rhabdom: YES, OR, NO!
  • Gaster: NO!!
  • Rhabdom: THEN SHUT UP! That goes DOUBLE for everycreature else! We came here to take a break from the stress of the EEA, and whether it shows up on us or not doesn't matter.
  • Buster: How can YOU prove that?
  • Rhabdom: I can't, but how can YOU prove that it WON'T happen?
  • Buster:...
  • Rhabdom:... That's what I thought. Now, STOP, FIGHTING, AND BE OPTIMISTIC, FOR ONCE!! Is that always so harmful?
  • Sepia: Depends on the circumstance, and circumstance is NOT very merciful. Especially in YOUR case.
  • Rhabdom: OKAY, THAT IS IT!! (He transformed into a giant dragon, and ended up scaring the nearby denizens to run away)...
  • Clyde: Hmmph. Looks like you're not very credible after all.
  • Rhabdom:... (Sighs) Fine! Judge me, anycreature else, and circumstance all you want. But in the end, you'll end up regretting it. Twilight did it when she tried getting to Mount Aris to stop the Storm King, and look how THAT turned out. And just like her, it's NOT going to be a good reminder. This is clearly why we're here, and CLEARLY why we're in the school. Remember your place, and do not judge it! Friendship magic may not sound very mature and ponies may look like something from a toddler's show, but one should NEVER judge a book by its cover.
  • Twilight:... (Sighs)...

One sudden teleportation to Canterlot Later...

  • Twilight: (Was with Celestia and Luna in the throne room) And they've been at each other since. I swear to the both of you, making others smarter can REALLY bite you in the plot! The stress has GOTTEN to them, and I find myself thinking too hard about it. PLEASE, PLEASE, tell me the play's going to help those, those, OVERGROWN CHILDREN, get over the hardships! We can't handle the EEA if we're overthinking too much and constantly doubting if our cause is even going to WORK!
  • Luna: "..... Is it really gonna help to teleport ALL the way back to Canterlot while you left your students alone to your eccentric friends and a reformed Anti Cutie Mark Cultist?"
  • Twilight: "..... And while we're on the subject, WHY AREN'T YOU TWO IN BROADHAY REHEARSING WITH STAGE HAM?!"
  • Celestia: "Well, we're, still complicating taking up Mr. Ham's offer while gathering some essentials for our own trip-"
  • Luna: "Oh be honest sister, you were gonna stood up his offer by not showing up in hopes Ham would reconsider."
  • Celestia: "LUNA?!"
  • Twilight: "...... You're that afraid of looking bad on stage, are you?"
  • Celestia: "...... Twilight, I'm sorry if I wasn't being extemporary, it's just..... Ever since I discovered that I can't act to save my crown, much less my immortal life, I, suffice to say..... I'm not so confident with plays anymore unless it's to see them."
  • Twilight: "I'd imagine it's not helping that it's a play that touches Alicorn history."
  • Celestia: "That is, also a concern, because, well, I......"
  • Luna: "..... Well, Sparkle, you, remember when it was beyond our knowledge for an Alicorn being born naturally back with Flurry Heart?"
  • Twilight: "Yes?"
  • Luna: "Well...... Alicorn history is, slightly also out of our reach save for what mother and father taught us. And THEY were the last ones left after the Chaos War, AAAAND they were fillies when it happened. We fear, we're not any more adequate to represent Alicorn history than any mere thespian unless Ham's script-writers were VERY knowledgeable themselves."
  • Twilight: "...... And now I regret teleporting to you even more than leaving my students with my conflict-prone friends and a protege of a very dark past! Now I discover that two of the few surviving Alicorns are NOT EVEN THAT GOOD AT THEIR OWN RACES' HISTORY?! No offense."
  • Celestia: "Twilight, you shouldn't be afraid of being honest with me even if it sounds very harsh. That was literally your problem when you wanted me to be in your own play."
  • Twilight: (Sighs) Well, THIS is just great. If the EEA doesn't ruin us, THE STUDENTS THEMSELVES WILL! I, I gotta look after stressful JOKES!!
  • Celestia: Huh. A stressful overthinking student. Why does THAT sound familiar?
  • Twilight:.... Ohhhhhh. I see what you did there.
  • Celestia: Twilight, you'll have to figure this out for yourself. We already have enough to worry about with my skills, AND our lack of knowledge. If anything, WE need to watch this play MORE than act in it. We and our parents haven't the SLIGHTEST idea if this will even work either.
  • Twilight:... (Sighs)... Alright... I... Just, good luck, okay?
  • Celestia: You too. (Twilight teleported away)...... (She sighed)... Maybe we DO need Facade after all.
  • Luna: Are you sure? You SAID he sounded familiar, so, are you SURE he can be trusted even with a name like that?
  • Celestia: I don't see any other option. This entire event could break or make the school itself. The students can learn how their races came to existence, and we haven't the finest acting bone in our bodies.
  • ???: Uh... (Nightus and Heavenslight appeared)
  • Hevenslight:... Is, this a bad time?
  • Celestia: Oh thank our race, you two came. We have a problem.
  • Nightus: We heard. This play idea of yours has merit, but you must know that we were only fillies when the Chaos War happened. We didn't even know the Alicorn Gods were dead until Death Coffin told us. We were practically the last ones left, and it's a MIRACLE that we were opposite genders who deeply loved each other. We never had the chance to get a SINGLE history lesson. And it's not like we can summon EVERY ALICORN GOD SOUL TO ASK THEM!... Can we?
  • Heavenslight: Well, maybe we can, it's just, I'd rather not take any risks. This relic of Renaissance's would work, but, given it requires magic pertaining to him via acting, it's going to be problematic.
  • Celestia: He was the Alicorn God of MORE than acting. Why not just use any other kind of art?
  • Nightus: Because it'd end up BEING very personified art instead of a play. It HAS to be done in a way that corresponds to what you want.
  • Celestia: (Sighs and slumped to a wall in frustration)... What am I going to do? If I don't go, I'll be wasting everything. If I DO go, I'll be MESSING UP everything.... Yeah, I'm DEFINITELY seeing Count Facade.
  • Luna:... Tia, I have to remind you, this seems a little fishy. You KNOW him from somewhere, so who's to say it won't be a greater plan?
  • Celestia: Nopony. But... If it means getting everycreature around us find hope and optimism in a seriously bleak PR crisis that's lasted for 4 years, I have to take that risk. Besides, Ham trusts him just fine.
  • Luna: "Well either because he's in on it like some sort of lackey, or to give him some benefical doubt, doesn't know the true colors of this Count Facade."
  • Celestia: "Ya know, I feel like the only reason some of us are distrusting Facade is because of the name."
  • Luna: "Perhaps it is abit prejudice, but fair's fair, would you trust someone named Tratory McStabback or Usurpy McTakeover?"
  • Celestia: "Abit of extreme examples, don't ya think?"
  • Luna: Would you?
  • Celestia: Well, you can't judge someone by their name. That's profiling. The Sillynamia Effect as the Lodgers called it is such a misleading stereotype. Maybe they got their names as a derogatory and the one who had the name went against the contrary. Heck, Facade cured people whose names were REPRESENTING their poor skills, and they're celebrated now. Just because they have such oddly-specific naming does NOT mean the names themselves are accurate.
  • Discord: Or maybe the producers are too prone to try to get a chuckle out of the audience that some characters are just not allowed even having normal names, much less something dignifived. (The two jumped in shock) Oh, sorry, did I scare ya?
  • Luna: YES!!!
  • Discord: Sorry about that. I just came to watch you two freak out.
  • Celestia: Really?
  • Discord: Uh, what did you expect of me? If you ask me, the name IS accurate. Come on, EACH one who suffers the Sillynamia Effect has ALWAYS, ALWAYS, been accurate. Why say otherwise now? This Facade guy sounds too shady to be innocent.
  • Celestia: (Sighs) Not you too!
  • Discord: Again, what did you expect of me?
  • Celestia: At least a LITTLE bit of common courtesy.
  • Discord: Well, I'm not exactly wrong. Think about it. WHEN, has anyone with an oddly-specific name, EVER, EVER, been the contradiction?
  • Celestia: That's not exactly the point here. Even if it IS true, it's not wise to judge them for it. If it IS true, we can't just say that ANYCREATURE or ANYONE is to be immediately judged for it. That's a VERY AWFUL lesson to teach.
  • Discord: Who even said this was a life or friendship lesson? Your sister may be onto something, Celly. I KNOW a shady pony when I hear it.
  • Luna: If those words are coming from anycreature ELSE'S mouth, I'd agree with it. But from YOURS?!
  • Discord: Now now, we're both reformed big bads here, Luny, and besides, Celestia was the one who had me reformed. I mean, it WAS mostly Fluttershy, but Celestia's the one who suggested it. Sooo... Yeah, you really should come to expect the unexpected from me. All I do and teach, I teach in my OWN way. I can't live WITHOUT being chaotic, and let's not forget the ACCORD incident. You MAY wanna heed my words regardless if it's filthy rich coming from me. MY name is, DISCORD, and even after I was reformed, my name STILL turns heads. It won't matter what false lesson this teaches. It's not even an educational debate. THIS won't be what proves the Sillynamia stereotype right. Even so, you better watch your pretty plot, because somepony might hit it like a pervert when you least expect it.
  • Celestia:... You think my butt is-
  • Discord: NO! I'd rather DIE than go on a date with YOU!... Even if MY girlfriend has gotten... A BIT nuts and different from when I first met her.
  • Nightus: Perhaps you've been rubbing off on her too much. (Heavenslight giggled at that)
  • Discord: Ah shaddap! We're Draconequui, chaos is LITERALLY our blood. WE'RE even the reason you four were never properly educated about the Alicorn Gods in the first place. I mean, mostly Tyranny, so... Look, you get the idea. Point is, watch your back. I certainly am. (Another Discord head was seen doing that behind them and they jumped when they noticed)... Cheerio! (He went through a portal made from a giant Cheerio)
  • Celestia:... I'm still going to Facade. Trustworthy or not.
  • Luna:... (Sighs)... Then we're going with you.
  • Nightus: Yes. If Discord and Luna are right, you can't do this alone.
  • Celestia: "Only so that you can see Facade for yourself."
  • Luna: Fine by me. (They went out)

Chapter 2: An Ambitious Play/Count Facade

Back at Broadhay

  • Stage Ham's studio was seen.
  • Tour Guide: "(As a tourbus passes by) And here we have the Stage Glaced Ham Studio, where all of Stage Ham's famous plays are rehearsed and perfected. You might be familiar with such timeless classics like "Wonderbolts the Play", and "The Tiny Dragon That Beat Gorrough the Titan"."

Inside the Studio.

  • The Stage was already being set up for the first reherseal.
  • Time Crunch: "Okay ponies, places, PLAAACES?! Now, the Alicorns of the hour have forwarded that they're gonna be a bit late, but that doesn't mean rehearsals aren't on schedule. We can still practice the roles for the pony worshipers of the Alicorns. Rehearsal is at 0100 hours."
  • Actor #1: "My, that's a generously long time for something so importent."
  • Actor #2: "..... You're not familiar with army talk, are you?"
  • Actor #1: "No, why?"
  • Actor #2: It means 1:00 am!
  • Actor #1: Well then what's with the extra front 0?
  • Actor #2: (Sighs) I hope the director's having a better time than we are.

Meanwhile...

  • Staged Ham: Look, I don't CARE if magic's gonna do most of the work. The play needs a THEME to draw audience members in.
  • Stagepony #1: I get that, but-
  • Staged Ham: But NOTHING! Nopony's gonna come into a dull-looking theater stage. This isn't the 1900s anymore! THIS IS 2021!!! THE REAL YEAR OF THE FUTURE!! I'VE WORKED COUNTLESS SUNS AND MOONS WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT, AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT ATTRACTS AS MANY PONIES AS POSSIBLE!!
  • Stagepony #2: Yeah, but sir, we MAY want to consider the budget here.
  • Staged Ham: Budget? YOU DO KNOW I AM THE STAGE HAM, RIGHT?! BUDGET, IS NEVER AN ISSUE FOR ME?! BROADHAY ALWAYS PROVIDE ME WITH SO MUCH MONEY THAT IT MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO ENTER MY OFFICE?! Besides, you don't NEED budget to make a few decorations. ONLY to PAY for the decorations.
  • Stagepony #3: AND to replace them when they get broken or somepony makes an easy mistake.
  • Staged Ham: NEVERTHELESS! I won't settle for something mundane! I want be extravagant?! I want to leave an impression that will last as an immortal memory in history books! I want this to be a curural name in Equestrian Culture and beyond! I- (Twilight teleported in and slumped on a seat)... Oh, Princess Twilight! What brings you here?
  • Twilight: I don't wanna talk about it.
  • Stagepony #4: Well, you ALMOST spooked us into wrecking the entire set, so you might as well spit it out.
  • Staged Ham: SHOW SOME RESPECT TO OUR PRINCESS!!! Espeically if she knows 4 of our prime actors for the play, the ACTUAL Alicorns themselves!
  • Twilight: (Sighs) Alright... My students are just driving me CRAZY with their incessant bickering. All the stress from how much the EEA has been messing with us because of Neighsay, has turned them INTO A BUNCH OF MES!!! I HOPED this play would help them, but at this rate, they'll end up KILLJOYING THE ENTIRE THING!! Oh, also, there's a concern that Celestia's anxious about being in the play cause of her current skill, and that her full understanding of Alicorn history lore, might be abit poorer then we expected.
  • Staged Ham:... Oh dear. Well good thing I spared no expense on getting the finest historians on the project to ensure accreacy to my writers which will then translate to my prime acters understanding it from the sript.
  • Stagepony #2: Well, that still sucks horns otherwise, for the school problem thing anyway.
  • Stagepony #4: PFFT! Come up with that yourself?
  • Stagepony #2: Don't make me tip that ladder over!!
  • Staged Ham: UGH!
  • Twilight:... Having the same trouble, huh?
  • Staged Ham: Oh, no. We're doing fine. It's just... I don't know how we're going to get enough ponies into the seats. We already tried handing out waivers, but nopony thought well of the entire thing, claiming that such an accurate but very entertaining stageplay would be impossible.
  • Twilight: Nothing-
  • Staged Ham: IS IMPOSSIBLE, ugh, I hate it when ponies keep saying that, I meant 'impossible' as a LESS exaggerated term! It's meant to be like, that term where you can't have cake and eat it too, though THAT MAKES LITTLE SENSE ON WHAT PEOPLE MEANT BY THAT EITHER?! Does ANYPONY in this BLASTED place have ANY sense of theater? I mean, ponies have an INSTINCT to break into song even in the most inappropriate of moments, and yet, THIS is how they feel about my play?
  • Stagepony #5: Probably because they don't think a play like this is even feasible, like you said.
  • Staged Ham: But can't they at least take the benefit of the doubt? I made plays that wowed millions! That should give them faith that I can do this!
  • Twilight: "Well, it's just that, when ponies think about a historic something being "accreacte", they linken it, to being a documentry. And, some ponies might end up thinking that's...... Abit boring. And the problem is, you're trying to make a historical play accreate AND still be entertaining. Historical Accreacy and Entertain are, usually natural born enemies."
  • Staged Ham: ".... Hear me out on why I want this, Sparkle. You have any idea how often I hear about historical plays that deviated from the true events of history? More then I can bare! I mean..... Even the Hearth's Warming Play is GRAVEINGLY inaccrate to the truely darker origins?! Also, they never said ANYTHING about the conflict with the Gargoyles!"
  • Twilight: "Wow. Clover the Clever would love to meet you."
  • Staged Ham: "If there was one thing that bothered me about the theater, is the deviation from historical facts! Is history not the biggest dramatic and unfolding play in of itself? Does it not have it's own famous names, it's drama, it's up and downs? Isn't any of it worthy of proper representation? What's wrong with giving the past proper tribute so to learn for the future?"
  • Stagepony #2: Wow, sir, I never thought you were clueless to that fact. Ponies these days prefer historical moments portrayed LESS accurately because they learn best when there's little pain in the performance itself. Not exactly ACCURATE, but JUST enough that it's close. You can't just go back in time, film the events in their entirety and show it off as a movie.
  • Staged Ham: I KNOW THAT!! I'm just saying that the facts have to DRAW in an audience and NOT scare them out. Keep them hooked. Twist the facts into the theater. Make them more engaging and peppy, so to speak. It's not important what's IN the play itself, it's the PLAY itself that is.
  • Stagepony #2:... Not to sound like that Steve Magnet guy, but I gotta lay some reality on you. All those ponies don't give a flying feather about the PLAY itself until it gives them reason to. They gotta get together with a buncha strangers, put up with screaming fillies and colts, some even wearing uncomfortable clothes, and heck, if this succeeds, they often get stupefied by the realisticness of the magic itself. Sorry to say this sir, but, what goes INTO the play, IS, EVERYTHING!!!
  • Staged Ham:... Wow. Bring down the whole mood why don'tcha?
  • Stagepony #2: It's in my name. Blunt Point.
  • Staged Ham:...
  • Twilight: Okay, yeah, that Sillynamia Effect thing is really starting to perplex me now. But at least THAT name can be taken in DIFFERENT ways, many of which I'd rather not say. In a world like THIS, it can make SOME ounce of sense. My name is LITERALLY Twilight Sparkle. ALL our names are pet names.
  • Staged Ham: Well, back on the subject of your problems with your students and Celestia, are you sure you can handle it? I'm already up to my limit thanks to Blunt over there!
  • Blunt: Not MY fault reality sucks! Just ask 2020!
  • Staged Ham: Can SOMEPONY knock his ladder down? (One of the Stageponies did that) I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!!!
  • Stagepony 6: "Sorry! I didn't wanna risk upsetting you if you were serious about that! It's very hard to tell when your sarcastic cause you just have that voice that always sounds serious!"
  • Staged Ham: "..... I do, do I? I just love it when people compliment me like that- (Shakes head) BBLBLBLBBLBLBLBLBLB?! Ham, don't let compliments distract you like that! You need to be on your play making A-Game!"
  • Twilight: (Sighs) We're screwed. I just hope the girls are doing well watching over those overgrown children.

Meanwhile...

  • Rainbow Dash: (She screamed in frustration as the students argued)
  • Pinkie: "(Deflated mane) HOW HAS THE ELEMENT OF LAUGHTER FAILED ME?! I'M USUALLY GOOD AT BREAKING UP ARGUMENTS!!"
  • Fluttershy: "I feel, so invisible right now."
  • Applejack: "(Wearing a paper bag) I feel like a gosh darn embarrassment."
  • Rarity: "(Fizzled mane) Twiiiiiiiliiiiiight, now's a good time for you to COME BACK AND BE A PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP?!"
  • Starlight: "(Repeatedly bonks head on wall of a Broadhay building) MOTHER, HUMPING, CAMELS?!"
  • Spike: "....... (Facepalms).... Ugh, buck me."
  • Rainbow Dash: I don't GET it! How are NONE of them listening to us?!
  • Applejack: If I'm keen to guess, it's likely cuz they got used to us and how we behave.
  • Pinkie: ARE YOU KIDDING?! I NEVER WEAR OFF ON PONIES... I mean, some of them aren't ponies, but I managed to entertain THEM too. HOW CAN THEY GET OVER ME THAT EASILY?!
  • Rainbow Dash: "Guess they got over the fact that you're unbelievably random and that you almost don't surprise them anymore."
  • Pinkie: "..... Really need to improve my material then."
  • Fluttershy: They're not even affected by my Stare anymore.
  • Rainbow Dash: That's probably because that's for ANIMALS. You know, like how bears stand up to look scarier? But these guys are worth TEN bears. Using it on them now would be like a pony trying to stand taller than a building.
  • Rarity: They even made me look inadequate! Ugh. This has never happened before! These students trust us, and they're out of our control!!
  • Spike: Yeah, even Quartz wouldn't listen to me. It's almost like she never knew me. I think this E.E.A. baloney really is getting to them.
  • Applejack: Ugh, gosh darn it all to Tartarus. We NEED to get these... These... OTHER TWILIGHTS... To the play. They NEED it.
  • Pinkie: Uhhh, not exactly a good idea to bring them there if they're like THIS!
  • Starlight: Nocreature fights THAT long! NOT EVEN DRAGONS! It's gotta stop VERY soon!!... I HOPE!! (Twilight teleported back)
  • Rainbow Dash: Twi!...... YOU F***!!!! (She flew towards her but her frustration got her to miss)
  • Applejack: WHAT THE TART WERE YOU THINKING LEAVING US WITH THESE GUYS?!
  • Twilight: Sorry, I just needed some stress relief. I couldn't bring you girls and leave the students unattended.
  • Rarity: Well that's fine and dandy you didn't want the students to be left to their devices, BUT WE LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT THEY TAKE YOU MORE SERIOUSY OUT OF THE REST OF US?! EVEN MORE THEN FLUTTERSHY?! THE FAVORITE TEACHER OF US?! Well those whining nightmares have been DRIVING US MORE CRAZY THAN THEY DID TO YOU!!!
  • Pinkie: Me too! And I'm not the one who gets frustrated THAT easily. I swear these, these, FIRETRUCKERS just won't lighten up!
  • Twilight: "..... (Sighs), The E.E.A. thing has gotten to them that badly?"
  • Spike: "Down to even that Quartz didn't even responded to me."
  • Twilight: "Well for the most part, I would get why the majority of the students are doing this, but why is Sepia into this too?! She hardly even met Sea Bitter."
  • Applejack: "She wanted to feel included, felt like it's a bonding experience to argue."
  • Twilight: "..... How, did this E.E.A. stress get to them so badly, for how infrequent we even RAN into members of them?!"
  • Pinkie: "Weeeeeell, the argument is the fact we even have a problem with them still at all is the issue. I think it's like they kinda expected the E.E.A. thing to die out back in 2018 and that it was just gonna be Neighsay who's being a jerky pants, but for it to still continue, it just ends up coming off as cutting into their lives and thus they're getting testy with it."
  • Twilight: "Well, problems with people doesn't just go away overnight, much less after a specific year."
  • (Deadpool): "Especially if it's SAF where production of episodes moves like Molasses. The recent wiki software change doesn't help shit."
  • Pinkie: "DP, now's not a good time. And you're kinda abusing your cameo privileges at this point."
  • (Deadpool): "Ooookay. (Leaves)."
  • Rarity: "Twilight, it's time to extend the hoof of the law onto them! They're running us ragged!"
  • Twilight: "(Sighs)..... (Uses voice amplifier spell) NO MORE ARGUING?! (The bickering students stop)!..... (Normal voice) Look, I personally relate to you all about having to cope with the E.E.A. being problematic to us, BUT DON'T LET THAT DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIPS?! Don't you think Neighsay would benefit from that and use that to prove that my school is a failure?! Ever thought about THAT?!"
  • Gaster: "Oh come on, aren't we entitled to stress?"
  • Twilight: "Not if it badly effects others to the point you either hurt them or shut them out?! Quartz, you even IGNORED Spike when he was trying to get you to calm down?! (Quartz felt awful). And also, you were driving my friends CRAAZY?! So this is where I am laying down the law?! Any of you that causes an argument again, WILL GET A MONTH SUSPENDSION FROM SCHOOL?!"
  • Gaster: "(Coy) Ohhhhh, a free vacation, how horrifying-"
  • Twilight: "With a MONTH'S worth of homework to make up for missing out on a month's worth of learning, AND, your parents/guardians will be asked to keep you from SHIRKING responsibility for until that Homework's done?!"
  • Gaster: "..... Okay, well played, even I'm taking you seriously for once."
  • Gallus: "Okay okay, we'll stop trying to rip each other's heads off!"
  • Silverstream: "We're sorry Twilight, we, we don't know what's coming over us. We weren't bothered by this E.E.A. stuff before normally."
  • Shore: "I'm guessing it's fatigue, made worse by how lousy 2020 was."
  • Rhabdom: THANK, YOU! I've been TRYING to get EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THESE FOOLS TO SHUT UP! NONE of them will listen to me after my dragon spook incident! And I'll make DAMN sure this suspension is done better than you can make it. I'm so, TIRED, of this! MANY of us don't seem to act like we are either!
  • Splash: Yeah, none of us seem in character. But hey, some people who write fanfiction, even the perverted ones, don't know how to adequately write one in character. Especially characters whose series has been wrapped up for 3 years, even if SAF is still keeping us in Season 8 territory cause it hadn't caught up yet. At this point, FIM, despite STILL being popular, is becoming passé with the Pony Life spinoff and the upcoming G4-G5 movie and G5 series, CG or no.
  • Wavelength: Well, at least Scroopfan is still keeping it close. He DID say that a world like this offers endless possibilities.
  • Splash:... Did you just break the fourth wall?
  • Wavelength: What can I say, babe? You rub off on me.
  • Splash: (Giggles) I'm so glad I could never argue with you.
  • Caster: Well, there's ONE upside to this mess.
  • Shore: Just, can we PLEASE keep it together? It's not the suspension thing that's gonna make us regret this. We're ALL friends here, and it breaks my heart that we have to constantly argue like this! Like Twilight said, the EEA hasn't even been active for a WHILE! I don't think it matters that an EEA member might be knocking at our door.
  • Gaster: Heh, looks like the lesson in the end is we'll always be right.
  • Ocellus: Gaster!
  • Gaster: I was being sarcastic.
  • Pinkie: Everycreature, look, you may not think plays are glamorous, but you JUST need to see things in a pony's eyes.
  • Polarity: Yeah, I gotta say, we need to start doing that often. We're starting to even JUDGE this land beyond what we've seen. We LONG established that the magic of friendship is more mature than the name suggests. Their philosophy of it comes from the head Alicorn Goddess.
  • Gallus: Thanks for once again telling us what we already know.
  • Polarity: Well, we gotta remember SOMEHOW!
  • Twilight: So, can we PLEASE just TRY and get along here?
  • Phoebe: Fine. I was getting too hot from my burning fury anyway.
  • Smolder: Do you at least have something to back up your optimism here?
  • Twilight: No, but I will, and you should at the more least learn to appreciate the joy wherever it is before things get bad. You guys are too smart, just like me, and you tend to overthink like me. But... That's only what makes us stronger.... Remember that.
  • Sandbar:... I'm sorry for all of us.
  • Yona: Why are you apologizing for all of us?
  • Sandbar: Because some of us might be too proud, angry, or you're like Clyde, to apologize.
  • Smolder: I-...... Yeah, true.
  • Gallus: ".... Okay princess, we'll play ball and get with the program here."
  • Twilight: Good. If I have to deal with ANOTHER setback, I am going to LOSE it!
  • Applejack: Get in line, sugar cube.
  • Pinkie: The-hey broke my record of cheering up people!
  • Fluttershy: I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. I feel we taught them TOO well.
  • Rainbow Dash: Well then WHY HAVEN'T THEY-
  • Twilight: NO MORE STRESS!!!!... (Deep breath)... We are here to get rid of all that. You all WANT to know about how your races came to be, right?
  • All Students:... Yes.
  • Twilight: Then this play will give it to you. Granted, their may be concens with accreacy cause ponies kept pressuring Stage Ham to maybe deviate abit from actual history so to not come off as boring, but, he might keep firm and keep things 100 percent loyal to true history.
  • Smolder: Not sure if the play being authentic to history is inherently better if it's gonna go Michal Bay on us, but if it's all we're gonna get, f*** it.
  • Twilight: Also, lay down on the language please? You've been swearing our entire trip here! Ponies have been hearing words they shouldn't.
  • Rhabdom:... Yeah, we HAVE! Does THAT sound like a good student of friendship?
  • Gallus: I... No.
  • Clyde: "Oh come on, these ponies also consider "PEEVE" to be cus languise, (Ponies were shocked at that), they're being oversensitive!"
  • Rhabdom smacks Clyde for saying that!
  • Rhabdom: EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE OF US, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE SHOULDN'T ADHERE TO IT?!.... Well..... Looks like we're even for our mistakes. Scaring people as a dragon is TRIVIAL in comparison to SWEARING OUT IN PUBLIC THINKING THAT IT WAS NO BIG DEAL!
  • Clyde: OKAY, YOU MADE YOUR POINT, JESUS CHRIST!!
  • Twilight: CLYDE!
  • Clyde: Oh COME ON, WHO THE F... Firetruck, EVEN KNOWS WHO THAT IS TO BE A SWEAR?!?
  • Twilight:... (Shrugs) Celestia help me however you can right now!!!
  • Sepia: ".... Maybe it's just me being a fish out of water, but in Kraken society, our people are very co-operative and social with each other and don't bicker like Barracudas. I only got into it to see how surface society works."
  • Gallus: "I think it's pretty obvious we're not squid people, Sep."
  • Sepia: "It's Krakens, and, yeah, I got that."
  • Twilight: "AHEM?!"
  • Gallus: "Whoa whoa whoa, chill, chill, it wasn't another basis for an argument, I was just sarcastically pointing out the obvious!"
  • Shore: "Well, that's to say Sep, arguing is not a normal thing we do in society outside of the Krakens. It's kinda more of a result of stress."
  • Sepia: "Ohhhhhhhh, got ya."
  • Twilight: "See? You explained something to Sepia in her confusion without sounding stand-offish."
  • Smolder: "To be fair, half of us like to tell it like it is."
  • Twilight: Then do everything like that, okay?
  • Wavelength: Yeah, I gotta agree with that. SOME of this world BEHAVES exactly how it looks and it tends to make SOME of us feel like babies.
  • Splash Wave: Hey, this show wasn't INTENDED to get an unexpected male following after all. Let's just move the plot forward before these arguments take up it's entire runtime or budget.
  • Pinkie: Are fourth-wall breaks all you have to say?
  • Splash Wave: Not all the time, no. Just saying, we need to stop wasting time.
  • Rainbow Dash: Then PLEASE say it in a way that doesn't makes you sound like you're crazy.
  • Gallus: Ugh, yeah, at this point, these ramblings are getting on MY nerves too! BECAUSE THEY NEVER STOP!!! WHY DON'T WE BORE OURSELVES WITH THEM?!
  • Clyde: GOOD IDEA!!
  • Gallus: I WAS BEING, SARCASTIC!!!
  • Clyde: I know, I just love being a smartass.
  • Twilight: Language!
  • Clyde: SORRYYYY! Not ALL of us here are Equestrian p***y... Cats.
  • Phoebe: HAH!
  • Silverstream: Yeah, Gallus is right, I'm starting to get annoyed by our ramblings. Who else here is getting sick of it? C'MON, PUT EM UP! (A few of them did) EXACTLY! So let's at least give the benefit of the doubt and hope that learning our races' origins from this play will give us enough hope to ignore the stress the EEA's been putting us through.
  • Gallus: Surprising you take more from your eccentric and optimistic cousin than your cowardly ruler aunt.
  • Silverstream: CAN WE NOT INSULT AUNT NOVO HERE?! Look, she's been through a LOT to get that way, and I'd rather not talk about it. Heck, even Skystar doesn't want to talk about it. AND Aunt Novo is very sensitive about it. So, let's NOT let that ignite ANOTHER argument.
  • Sepia: So what exactly do we do until the play's ready?
  • Rarity: "OOOOOH! I know! I think this is a good oppertunity to take everypony to some of the fanciest restaurants in Manehattan! My treat!"
  • Shore: "I think some food might ease the tension a lot."
  • Quartz: Yeah, I agree. I haven't had much since we left.

Meanwhile...

  • Staged Ham: Hmmm... This looks nice. (The atmosphere of the theater was unique)... REALLY nice.
  • Stagepony #1: It took QUITE a lot of effort to get it done, sir. But I must warn you, I think we MIGHT need to check the structural integrity. SOME I fear might fall and probably do so on ponies.
  • Staged Ham: Then allow me. (He magically checked the integrity and fixed it)... Voila.
  • Stagepony #2:... Amazing.
  • Blunt: Mmm. Who wants to bet it'll fall anyway?
  • Staged Ham: Blunt, can you NOT right now? (Time Crunch came in)... Hey, TC. How's... Hoofing out the hoofouts going?
  • Time Crunch: Abysmal. The ponies in Manehattan just aren't interested in yer play.
  • Staged Ham: WHAT?!
  • Time Crunch: They prefer the ones with the most style. I mean, more style than THIS!
  • Staged Ham:... Alright, everypony, this is CLEARLY not enough! We need to crank it up a notch! (All the stageponies groaned)
  • Blunt: "Celestia damn it!"
  • Staged Ham: "(Sighs), I just don't believe it. Have ponies lost their love for the Alicorn gods? Isn't the fact I am having Celestia premere in this enough?"
  • Time Crunch: It's NOT the halcyon days of Equestria anymore, Staged Ham. Ponies just aren't as whimsical as they were long ago. Plus, having only a hoof-ful of Alicorn Gods ruling them is obviously going to numb them so much that they won't believe such a realistic depiction of their history is possible.
  • Staged Ham: That's what Renaissance's RELIC is for! It NEEDS acting magic FROM an Alicorn God! Once it gets the magic it needs, it can do most of the magic for us. I want this play because... Well... BECAUSE OF THIS MODERN AGE! My father tried to make plays like this, but then ponies started fading away from the joys of plays. He tried so hard to bring the appeal back, but ponies just weren't interested. He gave up hope because he believed plays as they were at it's purest is now just a passing trend to forget about. But these ponies have FORGOTTEN that acting and play is PART of what makes us who we are!
  • Time Crunch: Well, of course. Without Prince Renaissance, the appeal was slowly dying.
  • Staged Ham: I KNOW! Again, that's what the relic is for. I want to bring the appeal back and remind ponies who they are supposed to be. I want to do what my father failed to do. Make a play SO POWERFUL, it brings Renaissance's memory back.
  • Time Crunch: I'm sorry, sir, but it's not that simple. You can't expect ponies to just willingly show up to the play. They prefer plays THEIR way now.
  • Staged Ham: Then I'm GOING to give it to them! PONIES, WE HAVE WORK TO DO!
  • Blunt: Sir, you DO realize that such a thing MIGHT be beyond our budget, generious as Broadhay has been so far?
  • Staged Ham: Then we'll just have to bring up a charity.
  • Blunt: WHO THE TART IS GOING TO DONATE FOR A PLAY LIKE THIS?! THEY WOULDN'T EVEN ACCEPT THE WAIVERS!
  • Staged Ham:... S***, you're right.... Then... I guess the only way to have them interested is... If Celestia ACTUALLY gets good at acting.... (Sighs)... I hope they taken the offer to see Count Facade into consideration.

Meanwhile...

  • Unknown Thespian Draculaian Cape wearing Slender Unicorn:... Alright... Are they in?
  • Pony Assistant: Yes, Count Facade.
  • Count Facade: Good. This is my ONE chance to help the EEA.
  • Pony Assistant: "But, you're not a member-"
  • Count Facade: Yes but I did fianced them with good money now wasted! It's bad enough I've had to suffer with ALL the controversy surrounding jinxes, now THIS! For 3 years, I've become a mundane JOKE!
  • Pony Assistant: Well, Count Facade, ever since Eureka covered his own crimes with the jinx excuse, fooling even the SHELL LODGERS, the royal guard has to ALWAYS use anti-jinx protocols to ensure it is or isn't. That HAS to come with scrutiny AND extreme care in even teaching the magic itself.
  • Count Facade: (Sighs) DAMN that charlatan excuse of a scientist! My business would've been find had it not been for him?! But, he's irrelivent now. It's not HIS fault I became a joke. It's the School of Friendship that put the nail in the coffin that Eureka made. If I wasn't already a teacher of the arts and acting, I'd be COMPLETELY laughed at and out of the business altogther like a hasbeen! Otherwise, I'd NEVER be with Staged Ham to begin with.
  • Pony Assistant:... Why are you telling me this AGAIN? Do you think I have faulty memory?
  • Count Facade: Your name IS Memory Lane. AND ironically, you don't necessarily have a good track record for remembering things.
  • Memory Lane: Well I'm ALREADY a workaholic, I do a LOT of s*** for you. I can't remember EVERYTHING at the same time.
  • Count Facade: That is more of a you concern, not something that conserns me. Your resume said you live VERY well to your name, and so far, you've started to make me believe that resume was under fabrications! After how certain EEA members, former or otherwise, went down, I will NOT allow ANY setbacks, so it's YOUR job to keep that from happening. If ONE thing goes wrong that you could've fixed, you're FINISHED!
  • Memory Lane: You can't expect me to focus on everything at the same time! There's too much to keep track of!
  • Count Facade: You're a UNICORN! You HAVE magic. USE it!
  • Memory Lane: I'm MORTAL! This is very well BEYOND multitasking. I can only focus on one task at a time.
  • Count Facade: ENOUGH EXCUSES!! I want them all done by the time the play is ready! If it's not, it's ON YOU!
  • Memory Lane:... (Sighs) Yes sir! (He left as Celestia, Luna, and their parents came in)
  • Luna:... He looks, over-worked....
  • Celestia: "Ahem..... Count Facade I presume?"
  • Count Facade: "Ah yes, hello, hello, Princess Celestia, so kind of you to grace me. Ham had paged me that you were going to consider coming over to improve your, uh, lacking, of acting skills ahead of his, ambitious little play on Alicorn History. And one with athenthenic facts on the matter."
  • Celestia: "Well, I'm, sorry to say that inspite of us being Alicorns, history of our own race apart from things that we DO know, are.... Uh..... Limited."
  • Count Facade: ".... Well good thing I adviced Ham to invest in hiring historians should the actual Alicorns not be reliable enough for full historic contest."
  • Luna: "Well with all that, I'm surprised he never thought of seeking out Death Coffin-"
  • Count Facade: "I'm sure he would've, if not for the issue of Lord Coffin being in his..... Condition..... Not really well fit to represent Alicorns on a public play."
  • Luna: "Ah, right. Figures as much. But he may have a very decent understanding of Alicorn History since he is ALL about the Alicorns."
  • Count Facade: "Well I'm sure he might find himself to the play in, some fastion."

Fluttershy's Cottage

  • Death Coffin: "THERE'S A PLAY THAT'S GOING TO REPRESENT ALICORN HISTORY?!"
  • Discord: "Well yes! This Staged Ham guy is interested in having REAL Alicorns star in it! But before you get too excited, member your..... Condition."
  • Death Coffin: "...... Oh..... Another reason to hate being a bag of bones..... BUUUUUUT, My knowledge of Alicorn History will HELP that play! I was one of their MANY players. As the former Alicorn God of Death, I have more than enough knowledge. They could use me to be an authenticity checker!"
  • Discord: "Well Twilight and the others already left, so-"
  • Death Coffin: "I'm an Alicorn, Draconequus! I can handle travel, on my own terms! (Teleports off!)"
  • Jerry: "...... You told him that cause ya want him to look like a doofus in Broadhay, did ya?"
  • Discord: "(Chuckles), Well that, and he could use some excirsize, the old bag of bones."

Facade's Manor

  • Luna: "...... Oh why are my "Discord pulled another Shenanigan" senses tingling?"
  • Count Facade: "But this is besides the point. Come Celestia, come with me to my private stage. Let us see the full extent of your, rather lack-of-skills. I want to excess the full extent of the problem."
  • Celestia: "If, you say so.... Why do you look SO familiar?"
  • Count Facade: Never mind that! What do you peg me for, somepony who LITERALLY jinxed you to not remember me?
  • Celestia:... No.
  • Count Facade: Then come on. You can trust me.

Facade's Private In-Manor Stage

  • Count Facade:... Alright, your majesty. Show me what you... DON'T got.
  • Celestia: "Uh..... Okay. I'm, gonna try and recite a line from a play that first comes to my mine. Ahem..... (Corny) OH ROMEO, ROMEO?! WHERE ART THOU, ROMEO?! Uh.... (Tries another line) To be or not to be, that, is the, question! (Count Facade winced at that).... What light does yonder window breaks?!"
  • Luna, Nightus and Heavenslight cringed at that.
  • Nightus: Yeesh. I REALLY wish Renaissance was around to help us with this. This is just, sad.
  • Heavenslight: She could sing well, like we could, but... Good Alicorn Gods!
  • Count Facade: "..... May I be offered permission to be blunt to royalty?"
  • Celestia: "..... Yes."
  • Count Facade: "Ahem...... THAT HAS TO BE THE WORSE PERFORMANCE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE CAREER!! If that act were to be put on the Internet if we had it, they'd call it "CRINGE" as it t'were! And Ham was going to have YOU on his play?! YOU CAN'T ACT TO EVEN SAVE YOUR OWN ARSE!!"
  • Celestia: "Sorry."
  • Count Facade: "I mean, by the Alicorn Gods! I kinda figure that since you're in politics that you'd be good to at least put on a face! No wonder Ham sent you my way!"
  • Celestia: "Well, being a leader is different from being a performer, I-"
  • Count Facade: "Maybe on surface level, but the way I SEE IT, a leader who's someone that's like an actor given the biggest stage of them all, the WORLD STAGE! The world is a stage, and the stage is a world of entertainment by every genre. So, how IS IT that you are able to address, THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF PONIES AT THE WIDE SPANNING AND ABLE TO DELIVER CONFIDENT SPEECHES, And yet, have the acting skills that's, WORSE than a sack of potatoes?! I mean, YIKES! An inanimate object stuffed with HAY could've acted better."
  • Celestia: "Well, it, just, comes to me better being a leader because ponies depend on me, and I need to be a brave face for them."
  • Luna: Also, we were raised by our parents after THEY became the rulers of Equestria. After the Chaos War, they were the last ones left and went off as a filly and colt to explore the war-torn land they were in. Without any Alicorn Gods to guide them, they had to rely on themselves. They became the rulers of Equestria when they helped the unicorns raise the sun and lower the moon. After they fell in love, well... You get the idea. We were NEVER even existing during the Chaos War, NOR could we get teachings from Renaissance himself.
  • Count Facade: "... Sad. But even then, WHY doesn't making speeches translate to at least a B+ performance?!"
  • Celestia: "Oh, well, because ponies would gather for something fun, and-"
  • Count Facade: "Ahhh! I believe, we found your problem."
  • Celestia: "...... Wow, you ARE good!"
  • Luna: "I'll admit, it was decently quick."
  • Count Facade: "Your problem is simple. You're too en tune to only give the appearance of a serious leader, due to a time of crisis where you are needed most. You are programmed mentally to only give your best at the WORSE of times! But the moment you get on the stage, you start to stumble and fall apart like a choppy art project because there's NO DANGER! You only set your best hoof forward when you felt like ponies need a leader! That's why you performance suffers!"
  • Celestia: "..... I never thought of that. I just thought it's because I never got to get into theater cause I was held back by being a princess since youth."
  • Count Facade: "Well yes some of that too, but what I said is the MAIN CONFIDANT of your problem!"
  • Celestia: "..... Wow, I wish I thought of going to you to begin with, for Twilight's play."
  • Count Facade: "Well better late than never I suppose. (Teleports on stage with Celestia). What I'm going to suggest, is method acting practices."
  • Celestia: "Oooooh, sounds fun!"
  • Count Facade: "How it works is that we're going to pretend that we're in your usual routine of you managing Equestria while it is in a crisis. We're gonna be in situations where you are conditioned to put your best hoof forward on the play!"
  • Celestia: "Of course! Though, it's gonna be hard when nothing's really going on-"
  • Count Facade: Then allow me to set the stage, (Horn starts to light up as it was affecting the stage), Princess. For this is no average stage. (After a bright white flash, Celestia appeared before an illusion of a wide mass of concerned ponies worried about a disaster)... (He posed as a royal advisor) PRINCESS CELESTIA, WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM! ALL OF TARTARUS HAS LITERALLY BROKEN LOOSE AND ARE NOW ALL OVER EQUESTRIA! WHAT BE'TH YOUR WISDOM?!
  • Celestia: "Wait wha?! When did that happen?!"
  • Count Facade: (Quietly) This is part of the method acting. Just do what you would normally do.
  • Celestia: Okay, um... (She saw the crowd)... I... I'll send my student to take care of the problem-
  • Count Facade: Oh, they were way ahead of you and... Well... (The Mane Six were all turned to stone)
Nostalgia_Critic_Fail_Sound_Effect

Nostalgia Critic Fail Sound Effect

  • Celestia: Oh dear. They actually lost to ALL that?... What about the Vultures? (The same music played as they too were turned to stone)... Wow. Uh, okay, well... What about Discord? (The same thing was seen and the same music played)... Wow. And it wasn't even me this time.
  • Discord: (Muffled) OH SHUT UP!
  • Celestia: Isn't there anyone who can deal with this? The Elements of Peace perhaps? (They were seen stoned too as the same music played)... (Worried) The OTHER Elements of Harmony? (They were turned to stone and the same music played)... (More worried) THE WONDERBOLTS?!? (They were seen high on magical mist from one of the monsters)... Well at least it wasn't THAT kind of stoned.
  • Count Facade: SO WHAT MUST WE DO?!
  • Celestia:... (Deep breath)... (Poorly acting) Let's all perhaps form a posse en masse and guide these beasts back to where they came from. Starting with the Royal Guard! (All the ponies were disturbed as well as Count Facade) They will need all the help they can get. We all fought for Equestria before, and nay shall that EVER change in a thousand years or more! AD VICTORIUM WHATEVER IN MY MADE-UP BEARD THAT MEANS!!!...
  • Count Facade:... (He reset things back to reality) Okay, what in Tartarus was THAT?!
  • Celestia: Sorry, it's just... Since I KNOW it wasn't real, I guess it didn't change anything.
  • Count Facade: Wow. You're gonna need a LOT more practice. Figures you'd be a tougher case. Well, if you would permit me, perhaps if we facilitate an actual life threatening situation-
  • Celestia: "I rather not, personally."
  • Count Facade: "I did say if you WOULD permit me. Well, short of real danger, perhaps we should try for a more, in-the-mind therapy."
  • Celestia: "In the mind wha- (Count Facade casted another spell with the stage, but this time has it set all the way in Celestia's sub-concious, of which is changed to look like her throneroom.)...... What the-"
  • Sub Conscious Starswirl: "(Breaks in) Celestia, it's a travasty?! The Villain League, The Dark Dragon Scourge, Even Team Nefarious, and the Dark Radicals of the AUU have all joined forces and invaded Equestria!"
  • Celestia:... Wow, just like when we first met the Lodgers.... Kinda a big exception for the Dark Rads, though. Ahem.... (Poorly acting) Right! We shall take care of them and-
  • Count Facade: (Literally paused the illusion) Okay, seriously?
  • Celestia: I told you, when I know it's not real, it ruins the whole point.
  • Count Facade: (Sighs) Well you ASKED to not do it in person.
  • Celestia: I know, I'm sorry. It's just... This kind of thing has never happened to me before.
  • Count Facade: Can you please just TRY?! It's like you aren't at all!
  • Celestia: I AM!
  • Count Facade: I REALLY doubt that. Just, DO IT! (He resumed the mind-therapy)
  • Subconscious Starswirl: What must we do?!
  • Celestia: "(Breaths in and out)...... (As seriously as she can) Let's try, to contact the Lougers."
  • (Count Facade): "(Only heard by Celestia) Okay, better, but with more feeling, Princess."
  • Celestia:... Let's try to contact the Lodgers.
  • (Count Facade): Okay, say it DIFFERENTLY. More, dramatically, with different words.
  • Celestia:... There's only one thing we CAN do! CONTACT THE LODGERS!!!
  • (Count Facade): Okay, that's a little TOO much.
  • Celestia: (Sighs)... There's only one thing we can do. Contact the Lodgers.
  • Subconscious Starswirl: They're busy in the AUU.
  • Celestia: WHAFFFF, EVEN WHEN THE DARK RADS ARE HERE?!
  • Subconscious Starswirl: "They managed to snuck in while the Lougers are distracted by an unrelated OC villain of the week."
  • Celestia: WELL THAT HARDLY SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING SHEN WOULD ALLOW WILLINGLY?! I-... (Deep breath)... What about the Jungle Crew?
  • Subconscious Starswirl: The what crew?
  • Celestia:... Okay, can we try a DIFFERENT mind therapy?
  • Count Facade:... (He took off his mask and screamed in it)
  • Celestia: Oh come on, I'm TRYING the best I can!
  • Count Facade: I know! Just... Ugh! You certainly saw PLENTY of plays in your thousand-year life, right?
  • Celestia: Yes.
  • Count Facade: Then why not remember ONE and LEARN from it?
  • Celestia:... Not a bad idea. (She shifted to a memory of a play when she was a filly with her parents and Luna)... Whoa, this was WAY in my fillyhood.
  • Count Facade: (Was also a filly) Okay, why am I a colt?
  • Celestia: You must've aged backwards with me. Don't worry, it shouldn't be a permanent change. It's not real after all.
  • Count Facade:... Oh, you must be joking. THIS is the first play you saw? THIS is one of the most OUTDATED plays of ALL TIME! This was what ponies thought the Alicorn Gods were like BEFORE they were examined more. As in, OLD PONISH TIMES!!
  • Celestia: Well, these ponies are STILL giving it their all. Just look at them.
  • Acter #1: "Hark, the Draonequui are comth forth'th."
  • Count Facade: "That's an un-needed empetisis on the "Th", it makes him sound like an imbecile."
  • Celestia: Old Ponish. What're ya gonna do?
  • Actor #2: (He was in a large Tyranny costume with many other special effects ponies) I have come FAR too FAR to lose to the likes of YOU!
  • Actor #1: NAY!
  • Actor #2: HA HA HAA! You said-tith NAY! I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE!!
  • Actor #1: WE SHALL STOP YOU! For we have developed a most fitting weapon so that friendship may triumph over chaos!
  • Actor #2: NO MERE CREATURE, MORTAL OR GOD, CAN DESTROY CHAOS! WITH NO CHAOS, THERE IS NO ORDER!
  • Actor #1: That is why we nay destroy you. Instead, you shall be sentenced to an eternity of BANISHMENT in the depths of this world's most unreachable! (More actors came in dressed as the other Alicorn Gods and used the Elements of Peace to make the Actor #2 sink as the setting was magically switched to a snowy setting)
  • Celestia:... I admit, when I look back at one of my earliest memories, this is PRETTY unique for their time. Little mortals witnessed Philosopius and her fellow gods imprison Tyranny, if not none at all.
  • Count Facade: Well, it's still hardly accurate. Today, archaeologists have discovered more detail on the events.
  • Celestia: Regardless, you can see their passion.
  • Count Facade: "Which, is perfect for you to try and emulate, is it not?"
  • Celestia: Well it is ONE example, AND it's one of my earliest memories. (The setting suddenly changed as when Filly Celestia cheered, things went extremely colorful and Tyrannies flew everywhere while Alicorn Gods chased them down comically)
  • Count Facade:... Heh. Child minds are so random. Very well. What about a teenage memory?
  • Celestia: Oh, it wouldn't be until I was 17 when I saw this play again. But even with over a decade, things changed in the perspective of the event, as you said. (Filly Celestia turned into a very hot teenage Celestia and Luna with their parents seeing a more revamped version of the play)
  • Actor #1: "Our liege, the Draconequus are coming forth!"
  • Count Facade: "Glad they got rid of the old ponish talk."
  • Actor #2: NOT IF PHILOSOPHUS CAN HANDLE IT!
  • Count Facade:... 1, that was OVER-THE-TOP! Lady Victoria sure as Tartarus wasn't THAT dramatic when she fought, NOR was her troupe so cowardly. 2, THAT IS NOT LADY VICTORIA'S COLOR!! 3, THAT SOUNDS WAY TOO MODERN-SOUNDING TO BE ADEQUATE PLAY TALK!!! AND 4, IT'S 'PHILOSOPHIUS', NOT PHILOSOPHUS!!!
  • Celestia: How would you know? You never even MET Lady Victoria.
  • Count Facade: Neither have YOU! The Alicorn goddess of war was violent at times, but she did NOT sound like a woman who had the most awkward of puberties!!
  • Celestia: Again, how do you know that?
  • Count Facade: Ugh, whatever, just analyze the damn acting.
  • Celestia:... Well, they ARE acting very well... Minus what you said before. In fact... THIS might be the last moments of play I had to work with since I became ruler. When Mom and Dad were lost to Taiklar, I couldn't really GO to a play after this. I was too busy handling my mother's job.
  • Count Facade:... You're telling me, that THIS is the LAST memory you have of ACTUAL acting?!
  • Celestia: Unfortunately, yes.
  • Count Facade:... NO WONDER YOU HAVE THE WORST ACTING SKILLS EVER!! Well... Uh... What about times when you CAME ACROSS a play while doing your job?
  • Celestia: "That's been, few and far between lately, and working for so long, well, it's, hard to keep track."
  • Count Facade: ".... By all means, I meant this to be constructive criticisum, Princess, but, YOU'RE A BIGGER DUMPSTER FIRE THAN I IMAGINED! We're going have to enter drastic solutions! I'm going to have to IMPLANT better acting skills and memories of such INTO you!"
  • Celestia: Are you sure that's ethical?
  • Count Facade: Who cares right now? We're STILL recovering from the 2019 Magic Fritz! (Sighs) Magic is nothing but trouble, UGH, like that hasn't been the FIRST time said. At this point, people much less creatures can hardly CARE for magical ethics. We HAVE magic, so we HAVE to use it. Besides, it's only a MINOR change. It'll put you in some form of learning that allows you greater perceptional skill, allowing you to learn from... OTHER plays across Equestria. The best way to do this is to have you... SEE things in a grander perspective.
  • Celestia: I can already do that.
  • Count Facade: Yes, but not well enough. THIS is going to give you increased sense of learning. A minor mental spell, that's all.
  • Celestia:... Very well.
  • Count Facade: (Dark smirk)..... Now, I must warn, there may be some migraines during the entire process for you, so, I have to ask you to bare with me on this.
  • Celestia: "And yet it's suppose to be a minor spell?"
  • Count Facade: "Yes but it's the first time it's been done to an Alicorn God. It would have to require quite the aggressive amount of mana for it."
  • Celestia:... Alright, so, give me a moment, because otherwise I fear I MIGHT go into- (He cast it) SHOOOOOOCK!!!
  • Count Facade:... Have a nice time, your highness. (Chuckles)

Later...

  • Staged Ham:... What the heck is THIS?! (The setting of the theatre was roughly the same as before, but with more detail)... Did we REALLY have THAT small a budget? WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOADED!! TIME CRUNCH?! GET ME MY FINANCIAL ADVISOR!!
  • Time Crunch: "Yes sir! (Zooms off)!"
  • Staged Ham: Okay, this isn't a problem, this ISN'T a prob- (Time Crunch showed up immediately) WHA?! Holy cow, I know you work quick BUT THAT WAS TOO FAST?!
  • Time Crunch: Quick Bit is not available sir!
  • Staged Ham: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT AVAILABLE?!?
  • Time Crunch: He left a note though.
  • Staged Ham: (He took it and read it)... "Sorry to say, Staged Ham, but due to the budget needed to get the Renaissance relic in the first place, and by that we needed to pay a MASSIVE fee to use it since it was in the care of an archaeologist, sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but now all we have in our budget left is 10,000 bits. It's not a lot, but it should be enough for you. Don't waste it while I'm gone on a business trip. Good luck."... Okay, why hasn't he told me?
  • Time Crunch: Probably because you were too busy.
  • Staged Ham: HOW MUCH DO WE HAVE NOW?!?
  • Time Crunch: (He checked a clipboard)... 1,000 bits.
  • Staged Ham: WHAAAAAAAT?!?
  • Time Crunch: I said-
  • Staged Ham: I HEARD YOU!! UGH!!! JUST PEACHY!!! We blew MOST of our money on this play and getting it right, and now we can't guarantee it'll WORK! This place looks CHEAP!! Now with 1,000 bits left, all we can do is make it look MORE cheap!!! Nopony will donate for this, and Celestia has the acting skills of a TREE!!! AND EVEN A TREE COULD ACT BETTER THAN HER!!! (Sighs) Can't I get ONE miracle around here? JUST, ONE?!?
  • Time Crunch: "Oh it's not like a miracle will page you or something-"
  • Staged Ham's pager acted up. He saw that it's from Count Facade.....
  • Staged Ham: "...... That's Count Facade. He rarely ever calls for me unless-...... (Answers it) COUNT FACADE?!"
  • Count Facade: "Ham, if you could, come to my mansion. You'll about to be given VERY pleasing news about Celestia. She proved to be a tough case, but I pulled through."
  • Staged Ham: "(Filled with spastic hope) You mean-"
  • Count Facade: EeeeeeYEP! Celestia, is, HOT ON ACTING!
  • Staged Ham:... Please tell me you're joking. This sounds WAY too good to be true!
  • Count Facade: "As I said, come see for yourself. (Pager ends)...."
  • Staged Ham: "..... Time Crunch, watch things over for me, I MUST SEE THIS FOR MYSELF?!"
  • Time Crunch: "BUT SIR- (Staged Ham zoomed off)..... Oy....."

Chapter 3: Celestia Becomes A Great Actress

French Narrator: One Teleportation Spell Later...

  • Staged Ham: All right, Princess, NOW let's see what you can do.
  • Celestia:... (Clears throat)... (Passionately) OH ROMEO, ROMEO?! WHEREFORE ART THOU, ROMEO? (Staged Ham had a cartoonishly-dropped jaw in amazement of this performance) Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I’ll no longer be a Capulet. ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy: Thou art thyself, though not a Montague. What’s Montague? It is nor hand nor hoof nor leg nor face nor any other part belonging to a man. O be some other name. What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d, Retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name, which is no part of thee, take all... Myself.
  • Staged Ham:... That... Was... ABSOLUTELY EXTRAORDINARY ACTING!!! THE DELIVERY, THE EMOTION, THE MEMORIZATION, THE PASSION! EVERY SINGLE ONE WAS- *Smooch* MAGNIFIQUE!!! COUNT FACADE, YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!!!
  • Count Façade: All in a day's work.
  • Celestia:... I can't believe it! I did it! I can ACT!!!
  • Luna: "We're equally amazed as well."
  • Heavenslight:... May I ask, how did you do it?
  • Count Façade: Ahahah. Professional secret.
  • Heavenslight:... Are you omitting something from us?!
  • Celestia: MOM! Leave him alone. He did a good thing for me.
  • Heavenslight:... Well, then, what DID he do to make you a good actor?
  • Celestia:... Sorry, I'd rather not reveal his professional secrets. They're pretty good.
  • Heavenslight:... DID YOU MIND-CONTROL HER?!
  • Nightus: HEAVENS, THAT'S QUITE THE EXTREME ACCUSATION!
  • Heavenslight: THEN WHY ARE THEY HIDING IT?! Maybe Discord was RIGHT about you!
  • Count Façade: (Scoffs) DISCORD, was right about me? You'd believe a DRACONEQUUS? I'm sorry to say, your former highnesses, but since the 2019 Magic Fritz, people hardly care for magic ethics anymore.
  • Heavenslight: So you DID mind-control her?
  • Count Façade: HEY DON'T MISCONTRUDE WHAT I SAID?! It was just a simple tweak. Little magic was used.
  • Heavenslight:... Alright. Let's see how innocently this was handled. (She magically examined Celestia, but due to a jinx, she found nothing outside the minor spell)... A minor performance-enhancing spell?... That's JUST as bad!
  • Count Façade: Again, who hardly cares since the Fritz? When you are made to look like an embarrassment by some dumb teenager for relying on magic, then her entire point of 'using magic responsibly' is moot when she made herself undeserving of deciding how WE should use magic. Magic is OUR birthright here on Equestria, so we use it for the beneficial.
  • Nightus:... (Sighs)... I hate that he's making a good point. Magic is not in a very good place since Star destroyed it. Heavenslight, how about we give the benefit of the doubt? It's just one small spell, and it doesn't do any harm. It just made our daughter better at acting. Plus, it WAS of her own choice.
  • Heavenslight:... (Sighs)... I suppose that is true. I apologize, Count Façade.
  • Count Facade: It's fine. You were just being a mother baring concern for her daughter. What mother wouldn't be like that? But I assure you, she is fine.
  • Staged Ham: "Well my concern is that at least Celestia can act now! My play was turning into a mess?! A lot of my big budget was spent on getting the Renaissance Relic and HARDLY on my stage! I was REALLY hoping for making the stage look like an Alicornia Temple!"
  • Count Facade: "It's a miracle the Broadhay Play Directors even give you that much money still."
  • Staged Ham: "Oh that's because I always make that money back and then some. I'm THAT good for it."
  • Nightus: "I take it this means you're anxious about this play going well?"
  • Staged Ham: "You kidding? No offense, but had your daughter remained lousy at acting, I WOULD'VE ENDED UP WITH MY FIRST EVER FLOP!! And that's not what I want the play to be remembered for! I wanted it to be immortalized in history and reenacted in school and community college plays to come! I never have a play that FLOPS! I'll be a shadow of my former self if I even so much have a play that's, MEH!!"
  • Luna: "Wow, you're actually a lot more insecure in person than you were in front of the press."
  • Staged Ham: "Uh, (Clears throat)! Oh I didn't mean to air out my dirty laundry in front you like that! Staged Ham is a pony pleaser!"
  • Luna: It's okay. Mortals and even IMMORTALS are never immune to insecurities. They help us learn and try again.
  • Staged Ham:... Well NOW thanks to Count Facade's fine work, this will be the most TIMELESS play EVER!
  • Celestia: Then I believe it's time we activated the relic and prepare for the big show. EXCELSIOR!
  • Staged Ham: *Squeeeee* I AM SAVED!!!
  • Luna: "And so is your play, I believe."
  • Staged Ham: EXACTLY!!!
  • Nightus: Then I suppose you have nothing else to worry about.

Later...

  • Staged Ham: (Thanks to Celestia's acting, ponies were able to donate for the play and have high hopes, and the stage play was improved with the money they earned to avoid health concerns, alongside many new improvements) YEHEHEHES! I DID IT, DADDY! This moment will go down in HISTORY! (Meanwhile, Count Façade smiled from the distance)
  • Count Façade: (To himself) Oho, it will. You just keep gushing about your PRECIOUS play. (Dubbed as Megamind) And I will get BACK TO YOU! (He folded his cape and backed off into the shadows)
BUM_BUM_BUMMMM!!!!

BUM BUM BUMMMM!!!!

  • (Deadpool): Yeah no s*** he's the bad guy of this epi- (He was grabbed off by the nuts by a mechanical grabbing arm) AAHH!!

Staged Ham's Stage

  • Staged Ham: Hahaha! At long LAST!
  • Time Crunch: Sir, you keep saying that. We ALL know how happy you are.
  • Staged Ham: Only because it's TRUE!... I wish my dad could see me now..... But of course I know he has a jetski championship to tend to.
  • Time Crunch: "Jetskis are a thing in Equestria?"
  • Staged Ham: "We do have helicopters here, Time Crunch, Jetskis are not that much of a stretch."
  • Time Crunch:... So sad that his own theater career went so south he had to go to jetskiing.
  • Staged Ham: Indeed. But his dreams should NOT be forgotten... I'm just glad I got to do it for him. I've been at this for YEARS! My father's dreams for this day have been all but crushed, and I've fought SO HARD to make him proud.
  • Time Crunch: Yeah yeah, I'm proud for you, at least.
  • Staged Ham:... Can you at least sound MORE ecstatic?
  • Time Crunch: Not if you pay me to.
  • Staged Ham:... (Sighs) See this is why dad is where he is.
  • Time Crunch: Not my fault ponies hardly cared before this. Besides, I AM proud for you, sir. I'm just not as OVER-DRAMATIC about it as you.
  • Staged Ham: Ugh, never mind. Why am I even saying this to a time-cruncher like you? I mean, it's LITERALLY in your name. (Memory Lane came in)
  • Memory Lane: Well, I am happy for you, sir. I got your coffee.
  • Staged Ham:... Get with the program, ML. Time Crunch got me a latte 30 minutes ago.
  • Memory Lane:...
  • Staged Ham: You just haven't been on your A-Game, have you? (The two left)
  • Memory Lane:... (He cracked comically and fell making comical whining noises)
  • Celestia: (She saw this)... Uh... Memory Lane? Are you okay?
  • Memory Lane: UGH! I was supposed to get him coffee earlier, but I had SO MUCH WORK PILED UP THANKS TO FACADE, I COULDN'T DO IT IN TIME!!
  • Celestia: Ouch.
  • Memory Lane: UGH! I am so TIRED of Count Facade expecting too much from me. He piles all these jobs on me and expects them all done quickly and flawlessly. Even with magic, it's STILL physically impossible to focus on more than one thing at the same time! But he keeps telling me 'find a way, you weakling', but I can't! I swear, at this rate, I'll get fired and I won't be hired for quick jobs again!
  • Celestia:... Well, that doesn't sound like him at all.
  • Memory Lane:... What do you mean? Surely you've seen how he works!
  • Celestia: Yes, but I chock that up to simple work stress. Deadlines are a frustrating thing alone. We all have those frustrations. Deep down, he's NOT a bad pony.
  • Memory Lane:... Are you even listening to yourself, your highness? He's AWFUL!
  • Celestia: Look, stress is a difficult thing to overcome, even for someone like Facade.
  • Memory Lane:... Your highness, with all due respect, I thought you'd be a LOT more perceptive than THAT! Are you okay?
  • Celestia: What do you mean I'm okay? Do I look like I'm not okay?
  • Memory Lane:... Are you entirely sure that Facade didn't do ANYTHING else other than make you a better actress?
  • Celestia: Yes! My mother checked that.
  • Memory Lane:... Uhhhhhhh, your highness, you know what jinxes ARE, right? They're supposed to nullify magic sensing and spells. Dull the perception if you will. It's like a magical cloaking device and it can sabotage spells in general.
  • Celestia: I know that. I can sense lies, so I'd know if I was jinxed.
  • Memory Lane:... Can you?
  • Celestia:... Are you questioning my capabilities?
  • Memory Lane: Nonono, I'm not that kind of moron! I'm just saying you might be-
  • Celestia: I assure you, Memory Lane, I am FINE! You're clearly stressed out from this work. Maybe you should take a break. As for me, I have some work of my own to do. (She left)
  • Memory Lane:... (Sighs)... (To himself) Count Facade... This stupid plan of yours BETTER be worth the risk. Celestia doesn't suspect, but... If the guards get a SINGLE suspicion and the anti-jinx protocol is engaged, we'll all be finished. Even SAYING the word calls for safety measures. If this gets too serious, I am out! (Tries to walk off but bumps into a stage light by mistake) D'OW?! FORGOT THAT WAS THERE?! DAMMIT! (He went the other way but ran into more stage lights) AAHH!! OKAY, WHOEVER THE TARTARIC HELL ARRANGED THESE LIGHTS LIKE THIS IS GOING TO HAVE THEIR PANTS, IF THEY WEAR THEM, FILLED WITH RABID PUPPIES WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH THEM!!

Manehatten Restaurant

  • The School of Friendship was seen enjoying a high quality meal.
  • Clyde: "Hmmm hmmm HMMM?! My fucking compliments to the chief!"
  • Rarity: "See? Isn't this relaxing?"
  • Death Coffin: "(Teleports in) Sparkle, there you are! You did not tell me an Alicorn Historically Fiathful play was taking place?! I must help in this endevor!"
  • Patron 1: "AYYYYYE?! IT'S THE GLOOM REAPER?!"
  • Patron 2: "THE GLOOM REAPER APPEARING IN A RESTAURENT?! NOT A GOOD SIGN?!"
  • Death Coffin: "I'm not the Gloom Reaper, I am Death Coffin, Alicorn God of Death!"
  • Patron 3: ".... THAT'S EVEN WORSE?!"
  • Awkward Drum sound.....
  • Gaster: "..... Wow, fail."
  • The Patrons ran out of the restaurent screaming!
  • Fluttershy: "...... Death Coffin, did Discord told you about that play?"
  • Death Coffin: "..... What happens if I said yes?"
  • Twilight: "(Groans)."
  • Restaurant Owner: "MMPH! (Tapping his hoof at Rarity staring sternfully)....."
  • Rarity: ".... (Laughs nerviously)...... I'll pay handsomely for the check as a make up for this, disruption of your business."

French Narrator: Much Much Later...

  • Rarity: WHAT THE HECK, DEATH COFFIN?!? YOU KNOW PEOPLE CAN BE SPOOKED BY YOUR PRESENCE!!
  • Death Coffin: Hey, I've gotten used to that. But I must know, why wasn't I invited to this play of yours?
  • Applejack: I dunno, maybe we considered the fact that a bunch of ALICORN GODS in ONE PLACE would attract unwanted attention. ESPECIALLY from ANY enemies.
  • Death Coffin:... True, but I figured with, well, what happened in that restaurant, I'd scare off ANY bad people.
  • Pinkie:... Okay, you gotta admit, THAT'S a good counterargument. Even I get spooked by this guy.
  • Death Coffin: Are you kidding? A walking living skeleton is one of the STOCK definitions of monsters. And in a world of magic, that's HARDLY surprising to see.
  • Twilight: Yes, but it's STILL seldom seen, except around Nightmare Night or Halloween.
  • Death Coffin:... Eh, can't argue with that, but still. Rude. I could've given you PLENTY of information about how the Chaos Wars happened. I WAS one of it's most ACTIVE fighters. I WAS the Alicorn God of Death at the time.
  • Pinkie: At the time? Were there others before you?
  • Death Coffin:... I'd rather not talk about the LAST Alicorn God of Death. The less you know about HIM, the better. Anyway, I know MORE than enough about the Chaos Wars. There is hardly any other Alicorn God from that time whose soul you could easily salvage. Are you even sure you know HOW you can bring this kind of play to life?
  • Twilight: Staged Ham managed to find a relic from Prince Renaissance himself.
  • Death Coffin:... Really? I don't think he got that without a huge cost. Alicorn relics are VERY hard to come by, and have the most DANGEROUS of costs sometimes. Who gave that relic to him?
  • Twilight: Staged Ham said he bought it at a VERY ASTRONOMICAL price from somepony.
  • Death Coffin: AND HE DIDN'T QUESTION HIM?!?
  • Twilight:... I guess not.
  • Death Coffin: UGH! And you wonder why I wanted that Jewel of Souls, because ponies these days are SO DUMB AND DON'T RESPECT ALICORN GOD SANCTITY! Well, like it or not, I'm getting involved in this play. Not just for historical clarity, but also to find out where this Relic came from. I sense that it may not be the vengeful EEA member of the month again, and more something... MUCH worse!
  • Pinkie: Meh, the episode plot has already been established for years, so it's too late to drop in another villain... Unless it's a surprise villain.
  • Death Coffin: Just let me do what I must here.
  • Twilight: DC, what if ponies are scared by you?!
  • Death Coffin: Who cares? At least that'll have them take me SERIOUSLY! (They all teleported into the stage area and did this)
Hey_kids_wanna_see_a_dead_Body!?

Hey kids wanna see a dead Body!?

  • All Stageponies: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
  • The Stageponies made a run for it!
  • Death Coffin: "..... Okay, why did I think that was a good idea?"
  • Pinkie: "Because the plot wanted to use an Abridged Series meme."
  • Death Coffin: "...... Wha?"
  • Pinkie: "Ahem! Well, that's to say, maybe Discord did something to you to make you sillier then you are?"
  • Death Coffin: "..... And yet, I strangely feel like I can't put it past the Draconequus."
  • Rainbow Dash: Psheh, you've been alone for EONS, so you'd get JUST AS INSANE AS DISCORD!
  • Death Coffin: Amusing. Now, is there ANYPONY in here who has the balls to stay inside? (Staged Ham was seen holding onto the right curtain)... There's you at least. (He cast black fire upon it getting him to fall before restoring it)... I am the Alicorn God of Death, Death Coffin, and I believe I am the BEST source of information about the Chaos Wars.
  • Staged Ham:... I... I don't understand. Death Coffin himself wasn't some skeletal pony or even Thestral-looking. He had a Tartaric blue coat, a smoky gray mane and tail, and he had black eyes with red flaming irises.
  • Death Coffin: I USED to look like that. For someone who wants to write a play about Alicorn Gods, you hardly know anything about them.
  • Staged Ham: Well then what happened to you?
  • Death Coffin: Just a curse. A failed attempt to return the Alicorn Gods back to life. A few months ago, I tried to unleash a Keyhole onto Equestria believing I could use the Jewel of Souls to do the job, as I viewed that today's mortal ponies were disrespecting the Alicorn Gods' sanctity by doing their jobs in very limited and disrespectful ways, whether by treating it as a business, a holiday, or refusing to use magic to do it because of some nomadic traditions, which DEFEATS THE PURPOSE ITSELF, etc. I was fired as the Gloom Reaper for my crimes and... now I live with Fluttershy.
  • Staged Ham:... You couldn't have gone for any better home?
  • Death Coffin: Well darned if I didn't TRY, but nopony wanted to accommodate me after all I did.
  • Staged Ham:... Ooookay. It's clear that, since I didn't know THIS... I DEFINITELY need you.
  • Death Coffin: ".... Wow, that was easy, I kinda figured you were gonna be harder to impress then that."
  • Staged Ham: "Coffin, I literally didn't realized that you were basically a skeleton now, I need all the help I can get with this."
  • Death Coffin:... Touche. Anyway, you'll indeed need me. I know more than eno-
  • Staged Ham: I know, you already said that. You're hired.
  • Celestia: (She came in) To be, or NOT to be. THAT is the... (She saw Death Coffin)... Question, SH? Why is Death Coffin here?... Did Discord tell him about the play?
  • Death Coffin: Yes.
  • Celestia: (Sighs)
  • Death Coffin: Well, frankly, it's a good thing he did. I want to ask why you, Luna, OR your parents never bothered inviting me. I know MORE than enough about the Chaos Wars.
  • Celestia:... Well, look at you! You look like a skeletal monster, and you'd scare ponies away. Which explains why all the other stageponies ran out earlier.
  • Death Coffin: Look, you'd MORE than benefit from me here. I may not have my normal form anymore... BUUUT, I CAN use magic to dress like myself. (He made a magical guise of himself before the curse, getting Staged Ham squeeing with a comical MLP-style face)
  • Smolder: Well, this is certainly going well. And here I thought it was gonna get s******r.
  • Rhabdom: What did Twilight say about language?
  • Smolder: Who the f*** is here to hear it?!
  • Clyde: (Dubbed as Stewie) HEY!... Shut up!
  • Celestia: I'm amazed you never used that spell a LONG time ago.
  • Death Coffin: Well, MOST of my magic at the time was necromancy. And the curse was too strong for it... Until now. But... I'm STILL working on it. (He shifted back into his necromorphic form)... It doesn't last too long. I'm working to make it last longer. It'll certainly allow me to travel easier without giving anypony a heart attack.
  • Staged Ham: HAHA! I'm in MORE luck than ever! NOW we have the BEST source of Chaos War info in the world.
  • Death Coffin: Exactly. Again, regardless of my appearance, why didn't you invite me? Were you embarrassed to be seen with me because of my stunt with the Keyhole?
  • Celestia: Well, maybe. There's a lot of reasons. PLUS, we don't want to attract TOO MANY-
  • Death Coffin: -Alicorn Gods to one spot and get unwanted attention, yeah, Twilight and her friends and students already said that. But whatever. I don't have to hear EVERY SINGLE ANSWER you got! All I gotta do is give you the details. All I need is the script.
  • Staged Ham: It's in my office.
  • Death Coffin: Then let us go. We have much to talk about. (The two of them leave)
  • Skyceria:... Well, our appetite may have been cut short by a spontaneously appearing God Skeleton, but better THAT than if it was Promenade-"
  • ???: Ya mean MEEEEEEEEE?!?! (Skyceria got a comical angry face when Promenade arrived)
  • Promenade: And you said this place was BORING!... And it IS! Pheh! I could do SO MUCH BETTER, cuz you know, I'm Princess Promenade. THEY EVEN HAD NO CHOCOLATE PASTRIES HERE!!
  • Skyceria:... (Her nose bled slightly as her angry face was frozen)...
  • Promenade: You okay, sis?
  • Skyceria: Yes, just... Just an aneurysm out of sheer obnoxiousness!
  • Promenade: Wow. Didn't think you were that obnoxious, sis.
  • Skyceria: "...... (Takes off Applejack's hat and screams in it)"
  • Pinkie: "Oh, we're doing the "Scream into Applejack's hat" game? (Takes the hat and screams into it)!"
  • Applejack: "Would y'all please not use my hat as a scream blocker- (Takes hat, and gets hit in the face with the force of Skyceria's and Pinkie's screams)!"
  • Gallus: "...... Did, did that hat just blert out those screams?!"
  • Sepia: "That's the work of cartoon logic."
  • Applejack: (Stands there with her mane blown back).... I'm gonna pretend that didn't happen. (Puts her hat back on)
  • Rainbow Dash snickered at that.
  • Twilight: ".... Ahem! Okay, Skyeria, try to calm down, I can help get your sister to understand that her being here is, abit of a bad time."
  • Skyceria calms down abit.
  • Skyceria: ".... Thank you miss Twilight."
  • Prominade: "No seriously, where can a girl get some CHOCO-LATTE PASTE-TREES here?!"
  • Buster: "The Pastry Store! Heheh, even I know that!"
  • Prominade: "Yes but why doesn't this place have a concessions with already pre-paid for free food?! All the good theater stuff has that poo! And alcourse I would know that, cause I'm Princess Promenade."
  • Skyceria: Because-
  • Promenade: And besides, I'm Princess Promenade, so that makes me the BEST audience member here by default!
  • Twilight: Miss Prom-
  • Promenade: I don't HAVE to order the stuff from the Pastry Store, cuz I can just make my own. But when it's from other ponies or creatures, it's BETTER! But not that it matters, when I make it, it's the BEST, EVER! Cuz I'm Princess Promenade and I made it, ehehe. But I CHOOSE to try it here, cuz we should all try to support local businesses, since it's friendship and such, wink wink.
  • Twilight: We ju-
  • Promenade: So therefore, by additional default, that makes the Pastry Shop the BEST in the world!
  • Skyceria: Well w-
  • Promenade: Does this place have like a wall of famous celebrities, cuz if they don't, you know, they PROBABLY SHOULD! Oh, and I should be in the middle in a great big huge frame... With rainbow neon lights around it that says BEST ACTOR EVAH!
  • Twilight: Your high-
  • Promenade: So where I ask is the chocolate pastries and ALL THEIR YUMMY PASTES?! I mean, I went their once, and though I gave them Ponopoly money, it was cuz I was royalty.
  • Skyceria: Could you just-
  • Promenade: And royalty NEEEEEVER carries money on em!
  • Twilight/Skyceria: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD IIIIIT!!!
  • Twilight:... (Deep breath)
  • Skyceria:... Okay. Lady. Sisty. Boo-ba-la.... The problems you gave us are MULTIFOLD! 1, YOU ALWAYS CARRY MONEY ON YOU!!! AND THERE IS NO GODDAMN PASTRIES HERE, CHOCOLATE OR OTHERWISE!! AND NO, NOT EVEN THE ONES WITH GODDAMN CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES ON THEM!! 2, These guys don't have those celebrity walls anymore... Not since that Svengallop incident that Staged Ham kept talking about. And finally... I know it's pointless to ask you this at this point... IS THAT YOUR ANSWER TO EVERYTHING?!? What's 2+2, I'M PRINCESS PROMENADE! What's the square root of 96, I'M PRINCESS PROMENADE! I got this rash on my back and I think I need some medicated ointment on it or something- I'M PRINCESS PROMENAAAAAAAAAADE!!!
  • Pinkie: I THINK we did that joke already.
  • Promenade:... Can you get me the pastries with frosting that matches my color and has my cute widdle face on it?
  • Skyceria:... (She did this)
Ferris_Bueller's_Day_Off-Here's_Where_Cameron_Goes_Berserk_(1986)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off-Here's Where Cameron Goes Berserk (1986)

  • Promenade:... WHOOOOOEE, Sis, I never knew you had lungs THAT big!
  • Skyceria: (With extremely comical expressions) PROMENAAAAAAAAAAAADE... I will have to, KINDLY, ask you... Or at least... As KIND... AS I CAN BE... To... Please... PLEASE... If it's possible... GET THE F**** ********** ******* ****************** OUT OF THIS ******** ************ *********** ***** THEATER!!!!!
  • Promenade:... Wow. Bet the Channel Awesome swearers would be jealous of you.
  • Skyceria: PROMENADE!!!
  • Promenade: AW C'MON, SIS, It's been a while since we hung out.
  • Skyceria: WE HANG OUT ALL THE TIME, DAMMIT!!!
  • Promenade: Yeah, cuz you're the sister of PRINCESS PROMENADE, and I KNOW you'd LOVE to be seen with me since that craziness... And especially that time when you ripped off that SMG4 song.
  • Skyceria:... Why is it that every time you're among me, millions of nerve and brain cells inside me want to kill themselves?
  • Promenade: "...... I think they have a hotline for that sueiside problem, sis."
  • Clyde: "HOLY FUCK, YOU'RE STUPID?!"
  • Gallus: "Oh rich from the flat-planet and lightbulb sun believer?!"
  • Clyde: Hey, blame THAT on my homeworld being some decades held back. Bottom line, you, madam, are not so bright. No WONDER your sister is embarrassed to be seen with you.
  • Promenade: AHHHH, she's just jealous of how AWESOME I am. Everypony wants a piece of me sometimes, and I usually give it all to em, especially the best ones, like when I accidentally got one of my girlfriends pregnant after making out in a HUGE pile of leaves.
  • Clyde:... Why did you say that as if it was a completely normal sentence?
  • Skyceria: Ya see? And that's not even her most obnoxious! Promenade, I love you, you know I do... But I told you to stay home.
  • Promenade: Ahh, it was getting BORING there. As much as I'd love to have pizazzed that place, I want to pizazz this place even MORE! Who needs to PAY for decorations when you can make them MAGICALLY YOURSELF?!
  • Ocellus: Beeeeecause SOME of us don't want to rely too much on magic? ESPECIALLY, after the 2019 FRITZ?!
  • Promenade: There was a Fritz in 2019? (Everyone was perplexed) Could've fooled me, I used magic just fine back then.
  • Splash:... You never ran out of mana?!
  • Promenade: COURSE NOT! CUZ I'M PRINCESS PROMENADE! I NEVER RUN OUTTA MANA!
  • Smolder:... (Many of the students had bleeding noses)... Ow!
  • Sepia: Annnnnd I'm bleeding in where it's not suppose to bleed now... Okay, Skyceria, this embarrassment makes MORE than enough sense.
  • Skyceria: Can we PLEASE stop getting off the subject? Promenade, PLEASE, go away!
  • Promenade: Not until I pizazz up this place. A place as important as this needs it, because I'm Princess Promenade.
  • Gallus: STOP SAYING THAT!!! WHY THE NEED TO REMIND PEOPLE OF WHO YOU ARE?!
  • Promenade: "Oh that's easy! Cause I'm Princess Promenade-"
  • Gallus: "F***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************-"
  • Rhabdom: (She shoved a bottle of soap up his throat) LANGUAGE! Ponies will DEFINITELY hear THAT!
  • Gallus: (Choked on the soap bottle)
  • Rhabdom:... Oh, right. Soap's poisonous.
  • Sandbar: DUDE! (They got the bottle cartoonishly out of his throat and Twilight magically detoxed him of soap)
  • Gallus: YOU IDIOT! YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!!
  • Rhabdom: I'm SORRY!!
  • Gallus: Sure you are! This'll DEFINITELY be on your permanent record.
  • Rhabdom: "In my defense, YOU WERE CUSING UP A LITTERAL STORM WITH THAT EPIC F-BOMB?!
  • Promenade:... Y'all need therapy, you know that?
  • Silverstream: That's actually why we're here.
  • Promenade: Then let's get started. Who's first?
  • Skyceria: PROMENADE! I said, GO AWAY!
  • Promenade: Hmmph. I thought you were supposed to be learning about FRIENDSHIP in that school.
  • Skyceria: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, YOU SELF-ABSORBED POODLE!! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER LEARNING FROM THIS SCHOOL TOO!!
  • Quartz: You REALLY want that?
  • Skyceria:... NO!
  • Promenade: Well, sorry, I'm here. You can't get rid of me that easily, get used to it.
  • Skyceria:... It's times like this where I have to ask WHY YOU WERE EVEN BORN!!!
  • Promenade: Because I'm Princess Promenade.
  • Gallus: (Dubbed as Peter Griffin) THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!!
  • Fluttershy: "Um, Princess Prominade, you're kinda stressing the students out, so kindly, (Does the stare) EITHER LEAVE OR AT THE VERY LEAST, BEHAVE YOURSELF?!"
  • Prominade: "..... (Scared) Yes Ma'am. I'll behave."
  • Smolder: "Annnnnnd Fluttershy just earned Teacher of the Month once again."
  • Fluttershy: Well, since Tempest stood up to her, it's clear she CAN be told to behave with assertion. Promenade, let's all remember that this kind of attitude is why you and your sister don't see eye-to-eye. I don't want you both having a bad relationship again. Not since you were doing so well. Skyceria politely asked you to stay out of this, and you ignored her! THAT'S not being a good sibling. And I should know. I had to help MY brother make something of himself. So, if you MUST stay here, I suggest that you NOT make the students' stress issues worse than they already are. The trouble the EEA caused for the School of Friendship has been getting them worked up, and THIS play is supposed to help them out.
  • Promenade:... Those EEA loons are STILL at your throats? It's been 3 years!
  • Pinkie: "Yeah we're still in the Season 8 of things cause SAF's not caught up with the rest of the series yet. We're not even ALLOWED to talk about Season 9 yet other then saying we're not allowed to talk of it."
  • Fluttershy: Besides, why else do you think they're stressed out? And you showing up had ALMOST made it worse. So, I'm going to have to POLITELY ask you, since Skyceria can't do it by herself... THAT YOU EITHER BEHAVE YOURSELF, OR GO HOME! GOT THAT?!
  • Promenade:... (Scared) Okay.
  • Skyceria:... Okay, I'd vote DOUBLE for Teacher of the Month after THAT.
  • Fluttershy: And as for you, Skyceria? It's clear YOU need to learn to be more assertive.
  • Skyceria: Oh heck no. I'm not going the same way you did with Iron Will.
  • Fluttershy: Who said we needed Iron Will for that? I'll teach you myself.
  • Twilight: Good decision, Fluttershy. I was starting to get annoyed by Promenade too. So... Now I suppose we can worry no longer. We have more info about the Chaos Wars than ever, Celestia's now better at acting, and ponies are starting to get interested. Soon, you will all learn the origins of your races, so you can learn how to improve in the magic of friendship better.
  • Clyde: Can you at least say 'magic of peace'?
  • Polarity: Clyde! I know 'magic of friendship' doesn't sound so mature, but you can't judge a book by its cover. Just ask the Bronies.
  • Clyde: You mean what's left of them?
  • Splash: Uh, Clyde? Why don't you leave the fourth-wall breaking to me? Besides, we've spent enough time here as is, and we've ALREADY made a scene with Promenade.
  • Promenade: Well, it WAS more entertaining than any play I'VE seen.
  • Wavelength: Let's just go.... Wait, where do we go?
  • Twilight: I already booked us all a hotel to stay in until the play starts.
  • Gaster: "It better be a royal suite."
  • Applejack:... Oh, wow, really?
  • Gaster: Eh, worth a shot.
  • Buster: PHAH!
  • Caster: That KILLED in many places before.
  • Applejack:...
  • Caster: Well... It DID.

French Narrator: Later...

  • Gaster: (The hotel was actually a royal suite)... Well, guess the joke's on me!
  • Buster: HAH!
  • Rainbow Dash: You three have GOT to rethink your humor. C'mon inside. (They entered as they were given their rooms)
  • Smolder:... Mmm. Not bad.
  • Quartz: No kidding. Just, DON'T eat any of the embroidery.
  • Smolder: I JUST ate, kid. Why would I?
  • Sepia: "I feel like they went a bit overboard with the painting over there. (Points to a painting of a mare covering her crotch while riding a clam on an ocean)."
  • Gaster: "..... Art. I don't get it."
  • Pinkie: Many of us don't. So, make yourselves comfortable. We got a LOT ta do! And I mean, A LOT!!!
  • Silverstream: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! This place has good dinners.
  • Promenade: AHHH, FINALLY! Something for me to get my hooves hungry on!
  • Skyceria:... That has so many implications, I don't know where to start.
  • Gallus: Who cares? At least we got a place to stay. (A montage of them getting accommodated to their apartments were seen)
  • Yona: "(In a jacuzzi) Pardon my brief moment of speaking traditional Yak speak, but..... (Yak Voice) Yona like."
  • Applesauce: "Same here! (Gets out of the Jacuzzi and the bubbles stop) Just gonna use the bathroom for a bit...."
  • Yona, Shore and Silverstream, who the latter two are in the jacuzzi too, stared flabbergasted at that as Applesauce left.....
  • Shore: "..... Did we SERIOUSLY just do a Jacuzzi-Fart joke?!"
  • Silverstream: Forgive my Lodger speak, but it was Applesauce's thing when she was still evil. But, still...
  • Yona:... Pardon my yak speak again, but, (Yak Voice) Yona out! (Jumps out of the jacuzzi)
  • Shore/Silverstream: Right behind you! (They jump out as well)
  • Gaster laughed in having saw that!
  • Gaster: "I'm starting to feel better already!"
  • Moonbow: Glad we FINALLY get to say something! Almost felt like you forgot we existed.
  • Gaster: Who the HELL could ignore the space you six are occupying?... Even the sick eproctophilic space APPLESAUCE has?
  • Clyde: Hey, she IS a clone of AJ, so... Odds are she's into that too as some-'PONY', who gets her hooves in mud and filth so many times.
  • Applejack: I HEARD THAT!
  • Clyde: WHA?! Okay, next time, can you PLEASE put a bell around your neck?
  • Applejack: What do I look like OR act like, a COW?! Shame on you, and that's not very friendly to profile somepony.
  • Clyde: Hey, I'm a recent arrival, and I'm not even Equestrian. I'm just related to one of Twilight's MU friends.
  • Applejack: Still, watch who you talk about crossly, you sicko!
  • Clyde: NOOOO promises.

Later...

  • Ocellus: Hmm. I guess Promenade is good for SOMETHING. (It was seen that she warped the apartments into a setting to fit the students' liking. The rooms were much bigger inside than from the outside and contained the setting exactly like their dorms)...
  • Skyceria: Pssh. When it comes from PROMENADE, there's GOTTA be a catch.
  • Ocellus: Oh come on, Sky, just because your sister can be a little... Snarky and... Embarrassing to your name... Doesn't mean she's heartless. Otherwise she'd never still be a princess.
  • Skyceria: Nevertheless. Her deeds have bitten somecreature in the butt in ways that she never intended, but SHOULD have considered.
  • Ocellus: Look, can you just make due with what you got? We're not even going to stay long enough to see what could go wrong.
  • Skyceria: The play isn't until 2 days. That's MORE than enough for things to go wrong.
  • Ocellus: Then just figure it out, okay?! Terricolous!
  • Skyceria:... At least we're not near the FLOODED apartments of Shore and Sandbar. Those two get TOO careless every other which day, and we can HEAR them from the other dorms! It's disgusting!
  • Ocellus: Life is ALWAYS disgusting. Surely as a peryton, you knew that.
  • Skyceria: Yes, but I can only bare so much of its grossness. But I AM at least, a BIT happy their apartments are between those of the JERKY students. THEY get to deal with THEIR make-outs and fetish moments more than WE do.
  • Ocellus:... Really?
  • Skyceria: Sorry, it's just... Since Promenade showed up, my stress levels went THROUGH THE ROOF! UGH! Why can't I spend a month or two without HER butting in?! She might even RUIN the play AND our chances of letting it calm our nerves.
  • Ocellus: Just, give her a chance. It's the least you can do.
  • Skyceria: A CHANCE?! I gave her TOO many chances and she wasted them all! I'm DONE giving her chances! EVERY moment she comes, it's a disaster! (As Promenade appeared behind her and heard everything, heartbroken) It's times like this that make me unregret saying that I wish she was NEVER born! (Ocellus saw her as she was hurt) Or at the very least, was the youngest sibling in the family, OR, that she WASN'T my sister. THAT way, she wouldn't be such a life-ruining JOKE! She's a disgrace to my family name and it's a CURSE that everyperyton ignores her antics! I... What?... (She turned around)... Aw, f***!
  • Promenade:... I... Is THAT how you feel about me?
  • Skyceria:... I... I thought you knew that.
  • Promenade: But... Not like THIS!... I... Fine! I know when I'm not needed... Or at least, NOW I do. Not EVERYCREATURE wants to be blessed by me, Princess Promenade! After I gave you ALL THIS!... Thanks! (She undid all the changes to the apartments much to their chagrin and left)
  • Skyceria: PROMENADE, WAIT!...
  • Ocellus: (Sighs) Nice job, Sky!
  • Skyceria: OH COME ON, WHAT WAS SHE EXPECTING?! Surely it was something she heard before, she was just being a big baby. UGH! No matter. I'll make it up to her after this play is over.
  • Ocellus: Uh, I don't think that's what a student of friendship should do. Leave her to lament until it may be too late.
  • Skyceria: I AM TOO TIRED TO DO IT RIGHT NOW, OCELLUS!! FOR GAIA'S SAKES!! Just go to your apartment and leave me alone! (She shut the door on her after she escorted her out)
  • Ocellus:...
  • ???: Well, that explains what happened to our apartments. (Gallus, Silverstream, Yona, Smolder, and a wet Sandbar were seen)
  • Smolder: Oh the one hand, it saves us from hearing SANDBAR AND SHORE KEEPING US AWAKE WITH THEIR GROSSNESS!
  • Sandbar: (Sighs) But on the OTHER hand, that was NOT very nice of her. I liked what she did for us. How could she say such thing about her?
  • Smolder: Uh, why is that such a shock? We BOTH know those two get along like water and oil! Surely we KNEW she'd say something like that. DUUUUUUH! This is a FAMILY problem, NOT a friendship problem. It's technically not our business. If Skyceria wants to handle it that way, that's HER problem, not ours.
  • Yona: (Gasps) SMOLDER!
  • Smolder: What? It's true. We're NOT her family.
  • Ocellus: But we ARE her friends, so WE have to help her.
  • Smolder: Ocellus, it's late, and we CANNOT do that right now. We HAVE to get some sleep.
  • Gallus:... Sadly, she's right. We've had an already-stressful day as it is. We CAN'T escalate it when we NEED to rest.
  • Smolder: I still say this is not our problem. Sometimes family matters are best left NOT interfered with. Even for friends. (As Skyceria overheard this from her apartment in her bed) We thought for once her sister issues would be over, but after this? Clearly, this is a garbage fire we should stay FAR AWAY from.
  • Ocellus: Smolder, you CLEARLY forgotten what we're LEARNING in the school: FRIENDSHIP, AND FAMILY, ARE CLOSE TOGETHER! It doesn't matter how they're related. You don't love friends and family in hopes of a reward, you love them unconditionally.
  • Smolder: Yeah, my brother loved HIS, uh, I mean, OUR family unconditionally, and look how THAT turned out for him when he molted! If there's one thing I learned, it's that family is a mess that's sometimes best left to itself, otherwise people get caught in the crossfire, LITERALLY in this case. And YOU'RE saying that no matter how much it puts us in harm's way, mentally, socially, OR physically, we're just going to help these two when there's ALREADY major concerns?!
  • All 5: Yes!
  • Smolder: WHY?!?
  • Gallus: BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, YOU DUMB ASSHOLE!!
  • Smolder:... After all we've been arguing about lately and how much the EEA keeps messing with us... I question if we SHOULD be friends anymore! (The five were shocked) Think about that! This 'School of Friendship' thing was bound to be a bust eventually, after 3 years of them NEVER getting over it. We races have NO reason to coexist. Not since the Storm Clan wrecked it all. They may be jokes, but they STILL did damage that is impossible to ignore. AND QUEEN NOVO IS A PRETTY GOOD EXAMPLE WHEN SHE BETRAYED CELESTIA'S TRUST WITH TWILIGHT! Maybe, if we REALLY care for each other, it's best we gave the EEA what they wanted and stay as far away from each other as possible for everycreature's own safety.... Now if you'll excuse me, I have some WINKS I need to catch. (She left, leaving the five to leave in shock as well as Skyceria to be shocked as well, and just put her pillow over her head in frustration)
  • Skyceria: Thanks a LOT, Promenade! Now even my FRIENDS are tearing each other apart! I swear, that PLAY had BETTER be worth it!
  • Promenade reappeared and started to feel legitamently bad about this....
  • Promenade: "Sorry."
  • Skyceria: DAAAHH!!!
  • Everyone: AAHHHH!!!
  • Promenade: I... I saw everything and... I mean, okay, that was a bit out of my character here, and I know my character, I'm-"
  • Skyceria and others: "WE KNOW ALREADY?! PRINCESS PROMENADE?!"
  • Promenade: I, I was just trying to help.
  • Gallus: Well, to quote SpongeBob, I think you've helped, QUITE ENOUGH today! You ignore Skyceria when she asks you to stay out of this, and you heighten her stress to a SPIKE because of it! I suggest next time, try listening to your sister, instead of yourself! Good night! (The group left a regretful Promenade)
  • Promenade: "..... (Quietly) Guess that's another thing I know how to do..... Being a dummy-dum screw up?! (Runs off crying)!"
  • Skyceria:... I'm DEFINITELY making it up to her when this is over.
  • Sepia: "But, at least I think that reaction is a good sign you're making a breakthrough?"
  • Gaster: "A very small one though."

Chapter 4: The School of Friendship Becomes A Mockery

French Narrator: The Next Morning...

  • Twilight: (Everyone was finished with breakfast and went outside)... Can anyone care to explain what that yelling was last night? I could hear it from my room.
  • Skyceria: I DON'T want to talk about it!
  • Smolder: Me either! Promenade just made a scene and we naturally called her out for it, so we're leaving her alone until this is over.
  • Ocellus: If you MUST know, Smolder said that we should give the EEA what they want.
  • Rainbow Dash:... (She got a glass of water and did a spittake) WHAT?!?
  • Smolder: Really?
  • Ocellus: It's always nice to tell the truth.
  • Smolder: Okay then. OCELLUS IS NOT CONFIDENT OF HER OWN STUDENT GRADES AND ONCE WANTED TO QUIT BECAUSE OF IT!
  • Ocellus: AHGH!! SMOLDER! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT!
  • Smolder: HEY, IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO TELL THE TRUTH! (Ocellus was hurt)... Hurts, doesn't it?
  • Twilight: Smolder! That was not called for!
  • Smolder: SORRY! I wanted this to be kept to ourselves, but clearly not! But yeah, you want me to be real? This School of Friendship thing was CLEARLY wearing it's mark. The EEA hasn't gotten over us in 3 YEARS, so it's clearly NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE! If we continue this, students like us will get hurt, physically, mentally, and socially!
  • Rainbow Dash: I can't BELIEVE what I am hearing! So you're suggesting we give up?!
  • Smolder: If it means we don't get hurt, then maybe! I no longer see what the deal is with this school of yours. Yes, what the EEA is thinking is no better, but THIS HASN'T STOPPED BEING A PROBLEM!! IS IT REALLY WORTH DOING THIS FOR 3 MORE YEARS?!
  • Twilight: I NEVER said this would finish in just one year.
  • Smolder: Well, clearly, THIS is why we creatures were against you ponies. The EEA is a CLEAR example of why we races don't see eye-to-eye. All THEY care about is themselves just as much as OUR races do.
  • Twilight: You CLEARLY learned why! Why are the races against each other?
  • Smolder:... Is this really the time for triv-
  • Twilight: WHY, ARE THE RACES, AGAINST EACH OTHER?!
  • Smolder:... The Chaos Wars.
  • Twilight: Correct. And what is this PLAY about?
  • Smolder:... The Chaos Wars.
  • Twilight: Yes. It's clear that you have ALL forgotten your place here thanks to all this stress.
  • Smolder: Oh we HAVEN'T! That's why I suggest that maybe the BEST thing a friend can do, is to leave them alone and keep them safe.
  • Cozy: I don't really think THAT'S a good friendship lesson.
  • Silverstream: Exactly. You're starting to sound like my Aunt Novo.
  • Smolder: (She paused at that)... EXCUSE ME?!
  • Silverstream: Friends don't push each other away. They WORK with each other out of their problems.
  • Smolder: We've been doing that for 3 years, and NOTHING has changed. The EEA had NEVER learned their lesson.
  • Gaster: "To be fair, it wasn't like they were just gonna vanish to nothing after we just beaten like three or four of their guys. They clearly didn't just disappeared after they got disbanded."
  • Smolder:.... Okay I get that, but still! If they haven't learned it now, they NEVER WILL! There's no point in doing this anymore!
  • Rarity: ARE YOU SAYING WE WASTED ALL OUR LESSONS AND WORK FOR NOTHING?!
  • Smolder: Hey, you said it, not me!
  • Quartz: Smolder, can you PLEASE calm down? We're starting to make a scene out here! (All the ponies across Manehattan were watching them)
  • Smolder:... (Deep breath) Fine! But ask yourselves this: Is all this mental, social, and physical pain worth establishing 'friendship' all over the world? You can't just expect all races to live in harmony. I always knew this play was never going to work, and now I don't think it will again.
  • Gallus: We have to at least have FAITH that it will.
  • Smolder: I don't believe in faith, Gallus! Not anymore.
  • Polarity: Well MAYBE you should! That's possibly the problem here!
  • Clyde: Yeah, not to agree with her, but maybe this ISN'T worth it. What's the point of establishing the magic of friendship all over the world if the benefits are outweighed by the costs? Look at us! We're arguing like CHILDREN! Smolder MAY be acting like a BITCH here, but I'm not agreeing with her for HER reasons. I'm agreeing with this, because ALL THIS ARGUING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!! I didn't ASK to be in this school, and neither did SHE!
  • Fairweather: Clyde, please, just-
  • Clyde: Oh, I'm sorry, since when were FORMER EVIL CLONES allowed to get an opinion?
  • Fairweather: (Scoffs offended)
  • Rhabdom: UGGGGGH!!! WILL EVERYCREATURE, PLEASE, STOP!!! We have NOT stopped bickering since we came here.
  • Clyde: Oh, what're YOU gonna do, scare everypony off with another transformation?
  • Rhabdom: DO YOU WANT ME TO DO IT?! (Everyone except the Mane Six argued with each other as Twilight hid her face under her mane when the ponies began mumbling to themselves)
  • Applejack: Ohhh, boy.
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah, Twi, I'm seeing what you mean. ONE Twilight was bad enough, but DOZENS OF THEM?! I'm at my wits' LIMIT here!
  • Pinkie: Well, I guess it's time for me to make them smile again!
  • Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, you've been doing that for them all day yesterday... Well... Aside from scenes where you weren't. I think they've gotten used to it, AND their time in the school CLEARLY got them used to YOU, as we already suggested.
  • Pinkie: Well what do we do? If these guys and girls keep arguing in front of everyone, the School of Friendship will be RUINED before the EEA can even try, and they might not let us live it down!
  • Rarity: "Well it's abit sad that we ended up making things easy for the inevitable E.E.A. problem before it was even established! I mean, for all we know, it might not even be a direct member but more of a benefactor and we're just making things INSULTINGLY easy for them!"
  • Twilight: I... I don't know. In fact, I don't know if they'll even WANT to come to the play anymore.
  • Rarity: Well we better do SOMETHING! We're looking like JOKES out here because of them! (They were being spied on by Memory Lane as he was doing chores for Count Facade)
  • Rainbow Dash: Oh please, it's just a few ponies. I'm sure THEY'LL understand since races getting along is like trying to get a lion to make friends with a zebra in a NORMAL non-cartoon world. Their cultures and attitudes are ALWAYS going to clash.
  • Twilight: Girls, the whole POINT of the School of Friendship is to spread the magic of friendship across the world after the Storm King's invasion.
  • Pinkie: Well, that, AND you STILL have bad PR with Novo for trying to steal their pearl.
  • Smolder: OH, AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING!
  • Rainbow Dash: Oh, Celestia darn it!
  • Smolder: Silver, I'm actually MORE peeved that YOUR AUNT HASN'T FORGIVEN TWILIGHT FOR THAT STUNT! That's FURTHER proof that we races can't understand the 'magic of friendship'.
  • Silverstream: WELL HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF AN IMPORTANT MAGIC RELIC WAS BEING STOLEN?!
  • Smolder: That near-theft was HER fault, you know. Her COWARDICE, CAUSED it! For all we know, ANY OTHER RACE COULD BE NEXT, AND GIVEN HOW OTHER RACES TREAT EACH OTHER, THAT'S SAYING A LOT!
  • Silverstream: STOP ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD!
  • Smolder: OH, I KNOW MORE THAN ENOUGH! IT'S CLEAR THAT AFTER 3 YEARS, NOTHING HAS CHANGED, SO THIS SCHOOL IS A BUST! Maybe we ARE better off apart here, because I don't want ANY of us to be inevitably HURT by the EEA! NO PLAY IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT FACT! I don't even want YOU to defend your aunt because you're NO DIFFERENT THAN HER DAUGHTER!
  • Silverstream: I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY TO LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF THIS!
  • Smolder: Oh, and let's not forget about the GOLDSTONE INCIDENT!
  • Gallus: Oh, NO, DON'T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP!
  • Smolder: Why not? The fact that ONE griffin was willing to STEAL LAND FROM SO MANY PEOPLE TO THE POINT OF CONSPIRACY AND BANKING FRAUD?! Yeah, the fact that everycreature STILL views griffins as greedy monsters is proof that nothing has changed too!
  • Gallus:...
  • Smolder: Yeah. I'm right, aren't I?
  • Rainbow Dash: OKAY, SMOLDER, THAT IS ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU! NO MORE OF THIS ANNOYING ARGUING! PONIES ARE ALREADY LOOKING AT US AND PROBABLY THINK WE ARE TERRIBLE TEACHERS!
  • Pony #1: HEY YOU SAID IT, NOT US?!
  • Pony #2: DUDE, THIS IS CLEARLY NOT OUR BUSINESS, LET'S JUST BACK AWAY! (All went inside except Memory Lane, who hid in a tree and kept watching them)
  • Twilight:... (Sighs)
  • Rainbow Dash: You see WHY Twilight opened that School? Do you even KNOW what she nearly lost when we were banished from Seaquestria? Because of moments like THIS! This CONSTANT bickering is going to cause more damage than THAT stunt in Seaquestria EVER did! Now, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW BEFORE SOMECREATURE SAYS OR DOES SOMETHING THEY'LL REGRET!
  • Antique: Glad ONE of you finally stood up besides Fluttershy!
  • Cozy: EXACTLY!
  • Smolder:... Look, I'm just saying, maybe this whole plan of Twi's isn't going to work. Who's to say this will change anything? This should've been resolved years ago.
  • Splash: "Hey blame the canon show for moving faster then SAF-"
  • Shore: "NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR POST MODERNISUM, SPLASH?!"
  • Polarity: But does that mean we should give up?
  • Smolder: Does it mean we should risk getting HURT from this?
  • Phoebe: Hey, it's a risk we're PERFECTLY willing to take!
  • Smolder:... Well I'm NOT at this point! I don't want ANY of us getting hurt. In fact, AGAIN, an EEA member MIGHT be waiting for us at that play.
  • Splash: We don't know that.
  • Smolder: No, but YOU do!
  • Splash:... Well, you can't really make me tell that.
  • Smolder: Oh, well the answer is all over your face. It's a big fat YES!
  • Twilight: EVERYCREATURE, PLEASE, STOP! WHAT IF SAID EEA MEMBER HEARS ABOUT THIS?! You'll end up giving them an advantage! (Memory Lane ran off quietly)
  • Ocellus: I told you, Smolder, you don't push someone away, and you love friends unconditionally!
  • Smolder: And I told YOU that dragons don't love unconditionally, and frankly, for a good reason. Life SUCKS, and we live in a world of selfish, cowardly or violent JERKS! Life isn't like Equestria! It's not all sunshine and lollipops! No SCHOOL OR PLAY is going to change the world's perception on itself! Otherwise, we'd have been in harmony a LONG time ago!... But, we still owe it to Twilight. We came here to see a play, so let's see it and hope something bad happens and get it all over with!
  • Clyde: Agreed. Why did I even believe in this 'magic of friendship' nonsense anyway?
  • Gaster: I didn't really trust royalty to do the right thing anyway.
  • Gallus: (Sighs) So much for getting griffins out of that controversial ditch. (They all sat down across the street lamenting)
  • Twilight:... Okay, we need help! Rainbow Dash? I think we need to call the Lodgers for this.
  • Rainbow Dash: Are you sure it's a good idea to reduce those guys into complicated politics?
  • Twilight: First off, it's hardly politics. Two, if they're right and the EEA DOES show up, we could be ruined.
  • Applejack: And the rest of us?
  • Twilight: Four of you will have to help the students out until the play is ready. As for me... I have to help with the play itself. It may be our only hope left.
  • Fluttershy:... I don't know if this will work... But I have faith. I'm game.
  • Pinkie: Me too.
  • Rarity: Me three.
  • Rainbow Dash: Me four.
  • Applejack: Me five.
  • Twilight:... Alright... Let's hurry!

Later...

  • Celestia: (She was practicing her stance with Staged Ham watching)... Did I get it right?
  • Staged Ham: ABSOLUTELY, BREATHTAKING! Facade didn't just improve your acting skills, but he did WONDERS on your acting POSTURE and balance! He basically made you a natural-born gentlemare! I... I can't believe this is happening. My dreams are finally coming true! NOBODY PINCH ME!!!
  • Luna: We can't anyway. We don't have fingers.
  • Staged Ham: THEN NOBODY GROW FINGERS THEN!!! (Twilight teleported in as Staged Ham jumped to the ceiling and fell after a comical impact)...... DA OWCHIES?!
  • Celestia: Twilight!
  • Twilight:... Princess Celestia... We have a problem!
  • Luna:... Is it 'the no-big-deal' kind?
  • Twilight: Afraid not. My students are turning on each other. They've kept on overthinking this and believe this whole School of Friendship thing is a lost cause after 3 years of nothing changing.
  • Celestia:... Oh dear.
  • Luna: "Well what, did they thought things were gonna move as fast as the canon series?"
  • Twilight: I think... I think this play MAY be our only hope now! The students NEED to understand from the Alicorn Gods' perspective what the magic of friendship is all about!
  • Celestia: "Well luckily for you, I'm now such a breathtaking actress now thanks to Count Facade."
  • Twilight: "Wow, he did an exsellent job then."
  • Staged Ham: "EXTREME UNDERSTATEMENT?! Celestia, may as well be a newage Alicorn of Acting! She's so incredable now!"
  • Twilight: "But anyway, I need your advice. Should I, get the Lougers involved? I mean, I know it's not their usual thing and that they're in the middle of going after some big shot corporate crime boss in Muggshotra, but, I feel like we might need them anyway if an E.E.A. member, or even so much as an outsider benuactor shows up and complicate things!"
  • Celestia:... I feel that we'll need the Lodgers for this one.
  • Luna: You sure it's wise to get them into minor politics?
  • Celestia: One, it's not really politics, and two, being a hero means a lot more than just defeating the bad guy. It's about helping to maintain peace.
  • Luna:... Well, it's just as bad to overrely on the Lodgers.
  • Celestia: Well, they could at least use a visit after so long. After all, speaking from THEIR meta perspective, the hiatus of the SAFA show lasted longer than the canon show, so, they owe it to us for this.
  • Luna:... You kinda make it sound like it's their fault when really they would argue that it was due to outside forces wanting the series to "Catch Up" with plans from Season 8 and-
  • Celestia: I know, but still, we could really use some people who have helped many worlds and still kept us relying more upon ourselves.
  • Luna:... True. They've been absent for THIS long, so that's got to count for something.
  • Twilight: I've already sent Rainbow Dash to call them. The other four are watching over the students. I felt I needed to help here with the play, to make sure the students aren't bored too early.
  • Celestia:... Staged Ham? You think it's time to activate that relic?
  • Staged Ham: Nonono, it's too early. Here's the deal: It has to be activated the moment the play is ready. It's more powerful that way.
  • Luna: Yeesh, that relic is SO arbitrary.
  • Staged Ham: It's Prince Renaissance. He was given the sub name of "The Alicorn of Arbitariness" cause of how specific he always wants things to be.
  • Luna:... True. Our parents didn't have much to talk about for him. He was alive when they were just fillies so they didn't get to know him. But at least DEATH COFFIN knows him.
  • Twilight:... So, you're saying we can't know if the play will work until it actually begins?!
  • Staged Ham: Afraid so.
  • Twilight:... Oh yeah. We DEFINITELY need the Lodgers. Those students are going to wreck the school all by themselves unless they have better reason to stay there. (Count Facade was watching this and smiled)
  • Memory Lane: Sir! I have news!
  • Count Facade: Make it quick.
  • Memory Lane: The School of Friendship students are bickering and don't believe in the magic of friendship, and the teachers are- (He saw that Twilight was talking to them about that)
  • Count Facade:... A little late for THAT.
  • Memory Lane: "....... (Deadpan) Ya mean ya found out on your own?"
  • Count Facade: Well that's the benefit of being trusted. Eyes are less aggressively weary of you. At least be lucky I won't fire you for this since I didn't ask for this info anyway. It was already going to be obvious. So, get back to work and, at the very least, keep an eye out for any other advantages.
  • Memory Lane:... (Sighs)... Yes sir! (He left)
  • Count Facade: So, the students are beginning to doubt the school, huh?... How, VERY, interesting.... AND useful. Might be just as useful to use then just the Buzzord controversies alone. But first, to prepare for the Lodgers' arrival.

Later...

  • SpongeBob: (The Van arrived on the streets of Manehattan, but the van was too big to park in them) Aw, Neptune, who forgot that the streets were too small to park in?!
  • Mr. Dodo: Give me a break, the canon size of the van is smaller than this, it confuses a Wonderlandian who thinks a caucus race near a tidal area will dry you off. (They landed on the outskirts of Manehattan)
  • Icky: I swear, this problem had BETTER be worth interrupting our mission for Charhonus, even for whatever weird reasons that we membered that we already wrapped up anyway.
  • Soothsayer: A concern we're return to later, cause I feel, strange about all that.
  • White Rabbit: Well, it doesn't matter.... For the moment. Rainbow Dash said that we... KINDA owe it to them to fix this hiatus since the canon show beat us to the punch of the... Season 8 finale, whatever happened THERE.
  • Lord Shen: I STILL think it's that Cozy Glow filly. Have you SEEN how she acts? SUPER suspicious.
  • Krebs: How many times are we going to be over that?
  • Lord Shen: As MANY times as it keeps you reminded.
  • Gilda: Ugh, can we at least put that song and dance down for an ACTUAL concern about the School, Shen?
  • Lord Shen: "Ugh, FINE! Only because a bigger matter is at play."
  • As the Lougers all board out, small Probes with OF Symbols left the van in secret and disappeared with cloaking devices.
  • Boss Wolf: "I still feel like something else happened."
  • Pang Bing: "Something to worry of later, right now, we have an obligation to do."
  • Icky: "Well it kinda seems like small potatoes to just deal with an argument problem, but then again it's the School of Friendship, I'm sure the arbatory E.E.A. baddie's gonna show up anyway. Good at least we'll be able to beat that shit in the curve."
  • Iago: "Well we do owe them for this series keeping them in Season 8 mode, even if that's more on Scroopfan's part."
  • Icky: "Hey fair's fair, we would've ended up having alot of episodes dramatically altered or lost drafted or done earlier then planned if we went the route of the Divergent Timeline where the canon series happened on the fly."
  • Shen: Let's ALL just agree that we owe them what we owe them and get this over with? Whatever happened at the end of Season 8, we'll worry about later.
  • Duke: In what year? 2030?
  • Icky: "OY!! We're not THAT slow! Heck, right now we're about two chapters and an Epilogue left. We'll be breezing through the other episodes before ya realize it."
  • Shen: That said, ease up on the smart remarks, we STILL have work to do. Let's do it and we'll get back to Charhonus later.
  • Duke: "Hey I'm just saying, this issue might be a recipe for MSM to try and jumpstart a big event again just so to get it out of the way! It HAPPENED with Princess Salvation!"
  • Icky: Yeah, but THAT one had a PRETTY good excuse. Given how slow we go, it probably would've been UNTIL said year that those princesses would've been freed. That would've made us look like SLACKERS!
  • Duke: Nevertheless! C'mon. Let's once again get covered in glitter and girl stuff.
  • Trixie: Oh, wow, really?
  • Duke: Hey, I gotta make A joke about MLP right now!

Even Later...

  • Rainbow Dash: And that's pretty much it.
  • Kowalski:... Wow, that was a PRETTY good way to mesh up the School of Friendship Arc hiatus, but it came at a PRETTY nasty cost.
  • Iago: That's clever writing, really.
  • Phil: I beg to differ.
  • Rainbow Dash: Everyone, we need to help those students. They NEED this play so they can understand the magic of friendship. Their overthinking and s*** has turned them against each other like a pack of wolves.
  • Boss Wolf: SPECI-.... Well that's to say it depends on the pack.
  • Rainbow Dash: So, if they keep at it, then the School will be in trouble before the next vengeful EEA member is given a CHANCE.... One ONE hoof, that sounds funny since the EEA member will be SO embarrassed to have done so much planning for nothing, or maybe even all of them, but it's STILL bad for ALL OF US!
  • Shenzi: So, you turned all them students into Twilights, huh?
  • Rainbow Dash: We already did that joke.
  • Shenzi: AW, DAMMIT!!
  • Rainbow Dash: But still, can you take this seriously? If this goes south, we could be looking at BIGGER PR relations than with Twilight and Novo! That's gonna CRUSH Equestria!
  • Shen: We shall do it, Rainbow Dash, but please understand that we were in the middle of another mission.
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, at least it wasn't THAT important, otherwise you wouldn't BE here.
  • Shifu: So where do we begin?
  • Mantis: And how do we quell the students' constant whining? I'm hopeful it's not THAT bad...

Even MORE Later...

  • Mantis: (The Lodgers saw the students arguing massively)... Wow, I was WAY off.
  • Gilda: Yikes, Rainbow Dash, you and your friends sure have BAD discipline.
  • Rainbow Dash: You think we haven't TRIED?!
  • Gilda: Probably not hard enough. Anyway, allow me to handle this. (She breathed in until Rainbow Dash stopped her by shoving her hoof in her beak)
  • Icky: HEY! ONLY MY D*** GOES IN THERE!!
  • Awkword Drum sound....... This caused Rainbow Dash to instantly get her hoof out.
  • Gilda:... Way to make it awkward, idiot!
  • Rainbow Dash: Let's NOT do the roar here. Rhabdom tried that already, and she ended up scaring ponies away.
  • Gilda: Ugh. Fine. If you wanna do it the p***y way.
  • Rainbow Dash: And PLEASE no swearing! That's gotten them in trouble too.
  • Gilda: Alright, fine. What do we do, then?
  • Archimedes: Have you all tried magic? That's what I would've done.
  • Rainbow Dash: Give us a break, we were TOO frustrated to think, but fine, one of you knock yourself out.... Oh, and uh... Who's the nude cat? New recruit?
  • Yan Yan: Yan Yan, and yes.
  • Chaos: As for the magic solution, with PLEASURE! (He turned the students' limbs and wings into trees and roots)
  • Sandbar: GAAH!!
  • Quartz: AAAHAHAHA!!!
  • Skyceria: "...... Oh so THAT'S what it feels like to be a tree...... Neat."
  • Gallus: "OH OF COURSE THE FLYING DEER'S OKAY WITH IT?!"
  • Smolder: WHAT IS THIS?!? (She breathed fire on her limbs) OWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOWWWWW!! (She put the fire out)
  • Chaos: Are you overgrown CHILDREN done bickering like a dysfunctional couple?
  • Phoebe: This is NOT funny, you kitty BITCH!
  • Chaos: Language! (He magically sealed her beak shut)
  • Phoebe: MMMMMMM!!!
  • Chaos: Anyone else want to talk back?... No?... Thought so.
  • Patrick: SHAME ON YOU ALL! Is THIS how a student of friendship should act?
  • Smolder: Uhhh, if that question was asked by someone who's NOT a reckless and uppity idiot, then I'd answer it!
  • Rainbow Dash: Oh shut up, Smolder, you're the one who started it.
  • Banzai: HAH! No surprise THERE!
  • Shen: NOT, HELPING! All of you, the pink one is right.... And I mean the STAR pink one, in a VERY rare moment.
  • Pinkie: Aww!
  • Shen: "Young ones, what you're doing is only gonna benefit those E.E.A. imbaciles about what they think of the school!"
  • Smolder: Which is WHY I think it's not worth it!
  • Shen:... Have you all REALLY given up hope?
  • Smolder: It hasn't changed for 3 years, so IT NEVER WILL!
  • Spyro: Just because it's taking a LONG time and it's putting you all in harm's way, doesn't mean it's never going to happen.
  • Icky: "Yeah, it's not like jackasses like the E.E.A. just suddenly get thanos-snapped just because the school exists."
  • Smolder: Well, DUH, but what if one of us gets hurt so badly or causes such a HUGE mistake? What would happen to us after that? The EEA is SO desperate to destroy the school, so I don't want to wait until that HAPPENS!
  • Silverstream: Can you PLEASE listen to them, Smolder?!
  • Smolder: Again, you don't get a say in this since you're too optimistic.
  • Viper: Okay, now that's just a low-blow.
  • Cynder: All of you, think!
  • Smolder: We HAVE! And it's clear that there's going to be an EEA member that will eventually tear us apart.
  • Alex: Well how do YOU know that all this bickering is THEIR work? (They paused)...
  • Marty: Big got'cha there.
  • Smolder:... Well... Even if it was, the facts are unavoidable.
  • Samson: Guys, did Twilight EVER say that this was going to work overnight?
  • Smolder: No, but-
  • Samson: Then how do you know it WILL get THAT bad?
  • Smolder: How do we know it WON'T?!
  • Icky: "Well how do ya know this isn't one of those rare episodes where it is only the ARGUEMENT that's the agtagonist?"
  • Iago: "To be fair, subtle symbolicness ain't Scroopfan's style."
  • Icky: ".... Ugh, that's to say, even IF an E.E.A goon shows up, even if it's just, like, a Benufactor who isn't an actual member of that group or that kinda shit, do ya kids REALLY wanna make it easy for them by acting like BRATS about them being asses? Cause if Neighsay was allowed an appearence for this episode, he'd be laughing his ASS off!"
  • Smolder: "YOU CAN SAY THOSE KINDA ARGUEMENTS ALL YA WANT?! It ain't gonna sway us anymore?!"
  • Pang Bing: "Young ones, by all means find no pleasure in the E.E.A.'s nonsense, but don't let that translate to destroying your friendships. We certainly don't tolerate the existence of the villain teams or the latest indie threat in the United Universes, but we don't let their annoyence get to us!"
  • Smolder: "WELL WE'RE NOT LIKE YOU GUYS?! WE'RE NOT MENTALLY CAPABLE TO COPE WITH SHIT LIKE THAT?!"
  • Icky; "Ya were asked to lay off the cussing, if ya pardon my COPPA talk."
  • Smolder: "DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE A CRIME BOSS TO GO AFTER?!"
  • White Rabbit: Oh for the love of GOD, will you STOP OVERTHINKING HERE?! You really HAVE turned into a bunch of TWILIGHTS! Why can't ANY of you have the SLIGHTEST ounces of faith?
  • Smolder: Faith is for optimistic idiots.
  • Tigress: Is that to imply that THOSE OF US WHO BELIEVE IN IT ARE IDIOTS?!
  • Smolder: Uhuhuh, no! I'm just talking in terms of THIS world! At least it works for YOU guys since you ALWAYS win!
  • Icky: "Albeit that depends on plot and/or the compidence of the bad guy in question."
  • Razoff: Kids, I can get why this can be a stressful thing to think about, but is running from your problems rather than confronting them a good idea?
  • Smolder: We've been confronting them for-
  • Razoff: Too long, yeah, we get that, but so what?! You guys WILL win through eventually. Does the cost REALLY matter? Long term wise? I mean, it's THIS kind of thinking that got Twilight in trouble with Novo. The fact that you're willing to push away your friends and take matters into your own hands, only to make a worse mistake.
  • Applejack: That's what we've been TELLIN em! But they just keep saying that 'this ain't as bad as theft'.
  • Rarity: These students are SO, STUBBORN! ESPECIALLY Smolder!
  • Smolder: I'm a DRAGON! I'm of a race that SEES the cruelty of the world and IMPROVES from it.
  • Sparx: Then why haven't you improved from THIS?!?
  • Smolder: Because it's SO HARD! These guys JUST won't get that!
  • Shifu: Younglings, understand that life is always going to come with hardships. EVEN in a land like Equestria. Dragons like Smolder here are just letting the stress get to them, and SHE'S fueling the fires of stress by ranting with excuses.
  • Smolder:... Look, cat-thing-
  • Shifu: Red panda.
  • Smolder: Whatever. I get what you're saying. Really, I do-
  • Shifu: I doubt that.
  • Smolder: -But the entire time we've been together, even if only a FEW EEA members were at our throats, we've been hurt socially, mentally, and physically. How much longer is that going to last?
  • Icky: "Till the Season 8 episodes are all covered- (Shrek smacks him) DOI?!"
  • Shrek: As long as it DOES take. It's pointless to be afraid of the inevitable. All you can do is be prepared for it.
  • Susan: Exactly. You're wise to the fact that an EEA member MIGHT ruin this entire play, so, why run from that possibility? Why not show them what you all are made of and prove that you're not scared of their tricks? Because right now, all you're proving is that you're EASILY fragile to them.
  • Missing Link: Yeah. You want to give those assholes the satisfaction of knowing they scared you all apart?
  • Smolder:... Well, no.
  • Missing Link: You want them to haunt you with those actions to the point where you become a mockery to even your own HOMES?! ESPECIALLY, WHEN YOU ATTENDED THE SCHOOL TO HELP THEM IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, ONLY TO GIVE UP ON IT BECAUSE OF A MEASLY BIT OF STRESS?!
  • Smolder: NO!
  • Missing Link: ARE YOU ALL THE EEA'S NON-EXISTENT-PANTS-WETTING STRESS TOOOOOOYS?!?
  • Smolder: F-... FLOCK NO!!
  • Fluttershy: Surprised I didn't do something like that earlier.
  • Little Dipper: Well, about time I speak too, and say, that the freaky fish guy is right.
  • Smolder:... Look, I still doubt this is going to work. But since we came for the play, I'm willing to have faith, JUST THIS ONCE, to prove we aren't the EEA's b... Female dogs. Ugh, doesn't roll off the tongue as easily. Anyway, I... All I can say for now is... I'm sorry I overreacted.
  • Silverstream: It's okay, Smold. It's been getting to ALL of us.
  • Gallus: Exactly.
  • Missing Link: So, I take it you all are done arguing?
  • Smolder: Don't hold your breath, freaky fish guy.
  • Missing Link: I'm Missing Link!
  • Smolder: Uh, why not just go by LINK?
  • Missing Link: I DO!
  • Smolder: Meh, whatever. Anyway, everyone... For the life of me and because I care about all of you... I don't want THIS to tear us apart. Clearly the arguing didn't get to ANY of you, so I'm just gonna give it up. I just hope everycreature in charge of this play knows what they're doing!
  • Rainbow Dash: "Well so far, Staged Ham spared no expense in getting only the best. He even got Celestia to become an AWESOME actress thanks to Count Facade."
  • Lord Shen: "Well it was mentioned that Celestia was acting odd and- (Stops himself)...... Did you say "Count Facade"?"
  • Rainbow Dash: "Well yeah....."
  • Icky: ".... (Rolls with a disgruntled sigh), Hello, This Episode's Antagonist."
  • Pinkie: "(Sighs), Figures that name got to you guys to."
  • Fluttershy: "But good on you for not breaking into laughter."
  • Lord Shen: "You can thank the revaluating for that..... BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS IDIOTIC HAMTASTIC TWIT TRUSTED SOMEONE WITH A NAME LIKE THAT?! SURELY YOU KNOW WHAT FACADE NORMALLY MEANS, RIGHT?!"
  • Rarity: Well of COURSE we do! But you can't judge somepony by their name ALL the time! On a world like this, pet names make sense. Facade MAY be knowledgeable in acting and jinxes, but that does NOT mean we should assume he's up to no good.
  • Shen:... Must I remind you that I WAS MADE A FOOL OF BY THAT EUREKA PERSON WITH THE JINX EXCUSE AND THREATENED HOOVES AT BLADEPOINT BECAUSE OF IT?! JINXES ARE BAD NEWS!
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah, when in the wrong hooves, yes, but Staged Ham trusts him enough. I mean, sure, Celestia DID say she knew him from somewhere, but- (The Lodgers groaned)
  • Squidward: No WONDER you guys needed us! Is it not CLEAR that Facade, JINXED Celestia into not remembering who he is?
  • Iago: EXACTLY! You DONKEYS couldn't figure THAT out?!
  • Applejack: We're SUPPOSED to be teachers of friendship. The entire point is to teach how to make friends with allies, or potential enemies, and that INCLUDES not judging creatures by their names. Heck, Facade changed the lives of ponies whose NAMES reflected their previous lives and THEY'RE celebrated now. That's TOO MANY GOOD DEEDS to judge him as evil.
  • Shenzi: Look, AJ, as an antihero, I can say that the BEST villains keep their cover by doing good. ESPECIALLY if they can use jinxes.
  • Merlin: Indeed. Jinxes are basically the magical equivalent of HACKING! They bypass magical senses and immunity, they can make people do things they regret, they can do anything without anyone knowing it's happening. It's a potentially MALICIOUS spell. Heck, it's magic spells like THEM that further give magic a bad name, and Star KNOWS that magic's already suffered ENOUGH controversy.
  • Cozy: Are you suggesting we just break what we learned about friendship and accuse Facade of INTENTIONALLY jinxing HIGH ROYALTY?!
  • Chi Fu: Of COURSE not, young one! Also, given how Shen views you, I don't think you should be bringing that up.
  • Thunderclap: Instead, maybe we should investigate Facade and see if his name is JUST as it suggests.
  • Applejack: Ehhhhhh, I DON'T think that's a good idea, sugar-cube. What if you're wrong about this? All you'll do is end up looking like nosy stalkers.
  • Shen: Well, since that time... I was made a FOOL of by that Eureka FRAUD, we've been practicing to look past jinxes. We CANNOT be made fools out of with that excuse AGAIN!
  • Merlin: It's true. I know that Facade has bigger plans in store. Otherwise he WOULDN'T have jinxed Celestia.
  • Pinkie: How would you know if that's true?
  • Shen: I KNOW Celestia. Her memory is pitch perfect... For the most part. Therefore, she'd easily recognize someone like Facade. But since she said she KNOWS who he is... That means he did something to her. And you say he made her a good actress?
  • Rainbow Dash: A GREAT one!
  • Shen:... We have TOO much suspicion to ignore this possibility. Celestia having a hard time remembering this person, is VERY suspicious. She CLEARLY knew something about him that he clouded from her.
  • Rarity:... I suppose that makes sense, but-
  • Shen: Then we're agreed. We HAVE to look into this Facade person and see if he's up to no good. Otherwise, it won't be just your students who suffer for it. In fact, it's clear that he JINXED all of you into arguing like this.
  • Rhabdom: Pretty sure NO! We JUST met him, and we've been arguing WAY longer than that.
  • Shen: How do you know he didn't eavesdrop on you without you noticing? You students have to be VERY careful with how you present yourselves, starting NOW! Until we get reason to believe Facade can be trusted, we'll have to look out for you.
  • Rarity: THANK YOU! You all are CLEARLY better at curbing arguing students than WE are. We need a BREAK! A, BREAK!!!
  • Smolder: Keep in mind that-
  • Bubbha: Lady, we get it. Just be lucky we kept you from repeating the Seaquestria incident and let the EEA win even if they might not have tried.
  • Puss: Now then, amigos, we must move forward with-
  • Shen: Uh, I said some of us must look after the students before they make a further mess of themselves. The school's image and credibility is ALREADY on the line as it is thanks to them.
  • SpongeBob: Then you, me, and Spyro will go. The less that investigate Facade, the better.
  • Pervis: "Awww, shoot! The rest of us have to babysit?"
  • Earl: "Try looking at it like this, Pervis, that Facade character won't be as intimidated if it's just a sponge, a peacock and a youngun dragon as suppose to all of us being at his face."
  • Bubbha: "Mighty fine observation Earl."
  • Shen: Precisely. We can handle this investigation all by ourselves.
  • SpongeBob: Just... Be careful. I doubt watching over these guys is gonna be... Easy right now. They're already in a heck of a bad position.
  • Ed Otter: Meh, we've handled worse situations and taken care of much more insane children. Flurry Heart for instance.
  • Mr. Whiskers: Hahaaaa, yeah. So, you three got nothing to worry about.
  • Applejack: Oh, trust me. These students have been through SO MUCH in just 3 years, and given how busy YALL might've been, I'm sure there's surprises in store.
  • Duke: Like what? Did Sandbar lose his virginity?
  • Trixie: THAT'S not news to us, Dukey. Love is a predator that way.
  • Duke: PLEASE, don't call me that. You're lucky I don't have magic breath like that Grand Duke guy in the Villain League, or I'd pull a HIM right now.
  • Trixie: Whatever. So, kids, you gonna behave for us?
  • Ocellus: SOME of us will TRY, while others, can't make any promises.
  • Mad Hatter: Ah, we're misfitted, so we can handle OTHER misfits just fine. Hahahu.
  • Gaster: Just watch how you handle us. SOME of us have reflexes you don't want to provoke.
  • Duke: You mean like Sandbar's aquaphilia boner?
  • Sandbar: CAN YOU NOT GO THERE PLEASE?!
  • Duke: Hey, we cope with serious situations with wisecracks, okay?!
  • Sandbar: Well, it doesn't work if the wisecracks are INAPPROPRIATE!!
  • Shore: Calm down, Sandy, you're gonna have another panic attack!
  • Sandbar: "AND WHEN DO I EVER HAVE PANIC ATTACKS?!"
  • Shore:... You've been having them since we got here.
  • Sandbar:... Right. Heh. Sorry, it's just everycreature arguing around me is getting on my nerves.
  • Rhabdom: Glad MORE than one person AGREES with me!
  • Cynder: Just go, Spyro. We'll take care of this.
  • Spyro: Good luck, then. (Spyro lifted SpongeBob away and Shen just glided off)
  • Mr. Whiskers:... I don't DO diapers.
  • Brandy: NONE of them wear diapers.
  • Mr. Whiskers:... That can't be a good thing.
  • Quartz: Rabbit, I'm the ONLY baby here, and I'M POTTY-TRAINED!
  • Brandy: Well, we figured you were all babies since you were ACTING like babies.
  • Mantis: OHHHHO, SNAP!
  • Icky: "You kids wanna Senzu bean for that SICK burn?"
  • Abridged Krillin's voice: "SENZU BEANS!! (A bunch of them were tossed at the students)!"
  • Gallus: "DOW WHAT THE F***?!"
  • Icky: "Hahaha, that classic never gets old..... Still a fucking shame Team4Star's pulling the plug on continuing the series though."
  • Gallus: "..... And yet bad guys lose to you people?"
  • Icky: "They wonder that too themselves, actually."

Meanwhile...

  • Count Facade:... Alright.
  • Memory Lane:... Alright? What exactly is going to be useful with this information? I mean, we're ponies, and they're being taught how to see from our perspective. So it's only a matter of time before they make up.
  • Count Facade: Which is why I have a plan. I simply intend to create a PR incident worse than the Equestria-Seaquestria one, and do it in a way that gets ALL races never wanting anything to do with each other again.
  • Memory Lane: And your plan to ensure there's no violence?
  • Count Facade: Trust me, ML. There will BE no violence unless I say so. I have just the jinx I need for this. Now, did you check the Lodgers' progress?
  • Memory Lane: I did, and I was able to teleport here in time to tell you that the ones called SpongeBob, Spyro, and Lord Shen are on their way.
  • Count Facade:... Hmm. The aggressive peacock. That will be a problem... If I didn't have Celestia in my grasp. The bird RESPECTS her, and won't hurt me when Celestia trusts me.
  • Memory Lane: I, still worry about this, sir. The peacock is WISE to jinxes after Eureka fooled him with it.
  • Count Facade: And of course it goes back to that HACK scientist! Which is WHY we'll make him BELIEVE there's no jinxes involved.
  • Memory Lane:... And is that REALLY going to work? That peacock is NOT as dumb as many of the other Lodgers. He's their general, and a HARDCORE former villain. He doesn't even trust Cozy Glow because of the crazy look in her eyes.
  • Count Facade: PFFT! Who cares about HER?! All I care about is THIS!
  • Memory Lane: Do you have a plan, sir?
  • Count Facade: Yes, but I can't tell it. For all we know, those three are watching us right now.
  • Memory Lane: They're not, sir. Not yet.
  • Count Facade: GOOD! Crisis averted. Just go. I'll prepare for their arrival.
  • Memory Lane: Should I help? I AM a fast worker.
  • Count Facade: I SINCERELY doubt that now. Just do the OTHER crap I told you to do. Chop chop.
  • Memory Lane: Yes sir! Just... Be careful.
  • Count Facade: When am I NOT? (Memory Lane teleported away)

Outside Count Facade's manor.

  • Spongebob, Spyro and Shen arrived.
  • Spongebob: "Wow. Fancy. This guy would get into Fancy Digest super easy. Many times in a row."
  • Spyro: "Try not to be distracted by the flare, SpongeBob. We don't know what this guy's capable of."
  • SpongeBob: Oh, puh-shyaaaa! I've seen too many OTHER wonders to be distracted again, because there's NOTHING here that'd come even REMOTELY clo- (He immediately saw crystalline statues of Count Facade)... NEPTUNE'S HOLY POOPOO!!!
  • Spyro: Oy!
  • Shen: When this is over, I'm asking Smolder to feast on those things! Well, within Twilight's consent, alcourse, cause I would imagine doing such things would be considered bad behavior, this is private property clearly and-
  • ???: Ahem. (Count Facade appeared)
  • Shen: THERE you are!
  • SpongeBob: WOW, guy, just WHERE did you take the time to DO these things of yourself?!
  • Count Facade: That's not relevant. What's relevant is what brings three of the finest Lodgers in my estate?
  • Shen: We have QUESTIONS for you.
  • Count Facade: Well, then ask awa- (Shen pointed a blade at him) AH!!..... I say! How can you expect anyone's earnest co-operation if you point a blade's business ender at people's faces?
  • Spongebob: "Sorry it's his force of habit to people he doesn't warm up to."
  • Spyro: SHEN! Can we PLEASE do this WITHOUT violence?!
  • Shen: I told you, I don't tolerate JINXES!
  • Count Facade:... So you've heard what I can do. I mean really, Was Dr. Eureka THAT bad?
  • Spongebob: "Yeah Shen's not a fan of being made to look bad, especially not when Celestia's around. Even more if it makes her look bad too. So, ya kinda have to understand that Shen's in one of his moods now."
  • Shen: Oh I can be WORSE than that if permitted! Let me tell you something, good sir, ever since I was made a FOOL of by that Eureka fraud, I REFUSE to give into the jinx scams.
  • Count Facade: Yes yes, I am aware of the jinx controversy. But rest assured you're not the only one who thinks this unsavory. Eureka's stunt ruined me too. What he did has put jinx teachers like ME in serious controversy. Everypony got concerned with teaching jinxes since they can be abused. I was put out of a job. I was lucky enough to still maintain my acting coach career and thus in the graces of Staged Ham.
  • Lord Shen: Well, we've also heard that you managed to turn Celestia into a fine actress. Good deed for sure... Until I was told she had some tiny bit of memory for you. Can you explain why that is?
  • Count Facade: "Oh I'm sure it's because Facade is a common name for jinx teachers, it's an easy confusion."
  • SpongeBob: "Oh okay, fair enough, maybe it's because Celestia has you confused cause of a common name, happens all the time-"
  • Shen: "OH THAT'S TOO EASY OF AN EXCUSE?!"
  • Count Facade: "Maybe perhaps it is a predictable justification, but a reasonable one, I assure you. Celestia meets alot of ponies as ruler of Equestria, sometimes with rather common names. Perhaps she was thinking of merely, a different Facade. Again, common name in the Jinx Business."
  • Spyro: "Well, reasonable enough, but just to be sure, did you happen to have any prior encounters with Celestia beyond this point before?"
  • Count Facade: "Oh I assure you, the first time I have ever met Celestia in earnest is when she came to see my acting advice. I admit that she was one of the more, tougher cases, so some magic had to be involved. (Shen scowled) But I promise is nothing more serious then just magically making her a better thespian. I mean believe me, you should've seen her before, IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS POSSESSED BY 'THE ROOM' AND ANY OTHER BAD PERFORMANCE YOU CAN IMAGINE! A life of political workings has ironically made her TERRIBLE at acting! I am sure, she manages a face fine when there's trouble, but outside of that, she LITERALLY can't even give a passable performance like her life depends on it! I literally tried to have some skill be fostered manually with simulated situations from my magic stage, but because of a persistent self-awareness of it being a simulation, there was no danger, ergo, she only blunders about!"
  • Shen: "A Magic Stage?"
  • Count Facade: "Oh but of course, it's how I do my sessions."
  • Shen: "..... Show us this stage."
  • Count Facade: "Well depends, do you have a native Equestrian Goverment Granted Warrent?"
  • Spongebob: "..... Um, well, Celestia did asked us to come to Equestria."
  • Count Facade: "But does it have anything to do with me?"
  • Spyro: "Well, it's because the students were getting into bad arguments and-"
  • Count Facade: "Well there you go! Ergo, it means you don't have a warrant, and ergo, legally, I can refuse to show you three anything. If anything, you're lucky I'm being this patient with you people on my property."
  • Shen:... (Sighs) Well, I can't force this if it risks Celestia's wrath. BUT... You don't need a warrant if you have a good alibi, and I'm pretty sure if there IS any OTHER Facades out there besides you, we MIGHT just need to check every single one she met, STARTING with you. We can investigate ALL of them, and if they ALL turn out innocent, that means you'll be the only one left. By refusing this investigation, you could be held responsible for withholding information from us, and I do NOT like that!
  • Count Facade: Not that you would've been good at it. From what I heard, you guys couldn't get ANY dirt on Eureka until his assistant decided to wise up and expose him. Were it not for her, Eureka wouldn't be where he is now.
  • Shen: Well, I won't HAVE that anymore. I am being as cautious as I can be here. I need to investigate you first. Otherwise, if we search any OTHER Facade pony, by the time we investigated all of them, it'll be too late and you'll have hit the bricks. I am NOT risking that either.
  • Count Facade:... Well, say you ARE right? Like I said, you can't legally investigate my simulated stage because you have no warrant.
  • Shen: No.... But Celestia trusts me well enough to give me that permission. And don't think I won't know if she was jinxed otherwise. I KNOW her personally. The moment she doesn't act like herself, I'll KNOW she's jinxed. That's why I'm going to ask HER for the warrant I need. BUT, just in case you get any ideas, you're coming WITH us!
  • Count Facade: Lord Shen, if I might, I don't think you'll earn any favors by roughhousing me.
  • Shen: If it means we avoid letting the one we suspect you are snooping away before we can catch you red-hoofed, then it's a price I'm willing to pay.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, you might as well comply with him. The guy is hardcore and he refuses to be made a fool of again. He HAS brought up some good points. If we need a warrant to investigate this stage of yours, then Celestia will grant us just that.
  • Spyro: His methods are not pretty, but knowing him, there's ALWAYS mostly a method to the madness. He's ALWAYS prepared for anything. That's what makes him a good general to the Lodgers after all. Just come with us. Otherwise, in his state, he'll assume that you're hiding something, and confirm he's right about you. If you ARE innocent, then you CAN'T afford that.
  • Count Facade:... Very well. But I think you'll find that you'll be MIGHTY disappointed.
  • Shen: We'll see about that. Until we know if you're telling the truth, you don't move, you don't get hurt.
  • Count Facade: Then I have nothing to worry about.
  • Spyro:... He seems so confident. Shen, are you SURE he's as bad as you say he is?
  • Shen: I've had confidence of my own when I was still corrupted. The key here is BODY language. His snark speaks louder than his confidence. So, we're still going to see Celestia and get exactly the legal requirements we need. So, last time, you have ANY problem with that?
  • Count Facade: Not at all. Do what you must. But I assure you, it will be a waste of time.
  • Shen: Again, we'll see. I'LL decide if it's a waste of time or not. C'mon!

Later...

  • Icky was seen having the Students in a circle.
  • Icky: "Okay kiddos, I'm gonna try something that always gets people to listen."
  • Gallus: "And what's that?"
  • Icky: "..... Boot to the head."
  • Gallus: "Wait wha- (A random boot hits him) D'OOOOOOOW?!"
  • Gaster breaks into loud laughter!
  • Icky: "Okay, rules are simple, we are gonna go ahead and talk out our problems. Ya break into name calling, yelling, swearing, defeatist talk, OR LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF AT OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN?! (Gaster stops laughing)..... Ya get a boot to the head."
  • Shore: "But where did that Boot come from?"
  • Icky: "It shows up when I use the trigger word. Per example. Gallus, what do you think of me?"
  • Gallus: "DO YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW WHEN A F*****G BOOT JUST HIT ME IN THE-"
  • Icky: "Boot to the head!"
  • Gallus gets hit by a Boot again!
  • Gallus: "OW?!"
  • Sepia giggles abit at that!
  • Sepia: "Sorry, this is kinda funny."
  • Icky: "I'll let ya off with a boot warning cause you're too Fluttershy Cute for practical comedy violence, kiddo."
  • Little Dipper: "Well thankfully I'm kinda ethereal, so I can freely criticisize this obviously questionable met-"
  • Icky: "GHOST BOOT TO THE HEAD?!"
  • Little Dipper: "Oh damn it- (Gets hit by a Ghost Boot) OW!?"
  • Shore: "No seriously, WHERE ARE THESE BOOTS COMING FROM?!"
  • Icky: The same answer we ALWAYS use: magic. Now, let's begin.
  • Smolder:... I can already tell this is off to a GREAT start. All this is gonna do is get us MORE aggravated, you know. It's literally like constantly poking a bull with a stick. And you KNOW what they say. Mess with the bull, you get the horns.
  • Icky: Pheh. Like you'd ACTUALLY hurt me.
  • Smolder: No, BUT I'D DO IT NON-FATALLY-
  • Icky: BOOT TO THE HEAD! (The boot hit her) I say YOU of all the students here deserve it more for making it WORSE!
  • Smolder: GRRRRRHHH!!
  • Icky: You want me to make more rules to this game, kiddo? Because I WILL!
  • Smolder: Alright, alright.
  • Icky: Now then. Everyone here, can we all explain how Smolder here f****d you all up here?
  • Smolder: Wait, why can YOU swear and we can't? That's not fair!
  • Icky: Deal with it, kid, you're in NO position to say what's fair.
  • Yona: No, she's right. If you're the only one who can break the rules, how is this game supposed to work?
  • Icky:... (Sighs) Fine! Boot to the head! (He took the boot)
  • Smolder: That's BETTER!
  • Icky: Now, please, answer the question.
  • Silverstream: Well, for one, Smolder said I'm unreliable with all this because I'm just like my cousin. Too enthusiastic and too optimistic, and especially since I'm related to a leader who is just as guilty in the horrible Pony-Hippogriff PR as Twilight was.
  • Icky:... While that SOUNDS like a logical point, I'm afraid in this case, it comes off as profiling. In a land FULL of enthusiastic and optimistic creatures, it comes across as... What's the word I'm looking for, uh... KINDA racist? Personalitist? Psychist? Ah, whatever, you know what I mean.
  • Smolder: In my defense, where has their optimism gotten them other than a target to the Storm King?
  • Icky: Well, the magic of friendship is their greatest power, and I'm sure you learned why.
  • Smolder: Yeah yeah, because of their head Alicorn Goddess. But in the end, she didn't really survive. How can we be sure we'll avoid the same fate, if not physically, but socially?
  • Icky: Smold, there's nothing wrong with being optimistic. It's how one makes the best out of a bad situation. Without it, well, we'd all end up paranoid. We do it by making jokes and being the cartoons we are. But you? I think you dragons are aggressive, and I mean no racism, because you don't believe in faith after all the hardships you had to go through. Now then, anyone else want to give their grievances for Smolder?
  • Gallus: Well, for one, she said that my race will never get out of the Goldstone controversy because it's been 3 years without them learning.
  • Smolder: Well THAT'S WHAT-... (Clears throat) Well, much else hasn't changed. The bad Pony-Hippogriff PR is still around, the EEA haven't gotten over us, blah blah blah. Need I say more?
  • Icky: It's called politics, Smold. Nobody said it was easy. Why do you think politicians have the stereotype of being mess-ups? Running a LITERAL society has never been easy. A lot goes into it. 3 years just isn't enough for things to change abruptly. Anyone else?
  • Rhabdom: Well, let's not ignore that she said that I was not fit to keep all the students in line because I accidentally scared ponies with my assertion and shapeshifting.
  • Icky:... Ouch. Well, all I can say is, choose your assertive acts MORE wisely.
  • Smolder: I LITERALLY just said that-
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (She was booted)
  • Smolder: OW! What did I do?!
  • Icky: New rule, no backtalk. In fact, no negative remarks AT ALL! Comprendo?
  • Smolder: (Shrugs)
  • Icky: Next?
  • Skyceria: Well let's talk about what happened last night. Me and Promenade got into a little... Spat last night, and Smolder said that helping her was not worth it until after the play. But you should actually help someone as soon as possible before it's too late.
  • Smolder: You don't just DITCH the trip, Sky.
  • Skyceria: With as much respect as possible, we can if it means we do our jobs as students of friendship. The play isn't going to start shortly anyway, it's not like we'd miss anything.
  • Smolder:... (Sighs) Alright, point taken. But still, we have to be careful here.
  • Icky: Then after this, you're free to help Promenade at your leisure.
  • Smolder: I don't think you're allowed to tell us that. You're not the teacher here-
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (She took the boot again)
  • Smolder: UGH!!!
  • Icky: Now, who's next? Hold on. I think we might've covered all of them. So let's focus on another problem. Is there anyone else besides Rhabdom who TRIED to offer support and were ignored?
  • Polarity:... I did.
  • Icky: Ah, yes. The Hearth's-Warming-Reindeer-in-training. One of the purest of heart. Smolder?
  • Smolder: Okay, in my defense, I wasn't the only one who ignored her. RIGHT?!? Oh wait, I-I-I-
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (She was booted again)
  • Gaster: (He was trying to keep in his laughter)
  • Icky: Gaster?
  • Gaster: I'm trying, okay?!
  • Icky:... Well, okay, that's something to not fault you for. But Smolder is right regardless. Did all of you ignore her attempts to keep you in line?
  • Splash:... Well, we were all too focused on the stress, and MANY of us never spoke up or said anything, as if the producers were trying to remember who in the school existed without even looking at the Wiki page.
  • Icky:... Meh, I'll take it, cause it sounds like something they'd be guilty of. But still, you can all stand to be more grateful and listen to those of you who know better than to rant on like that.
  • Smolder: "..... (Sighs), You're right."
  • Icky: Anyone else who was wronged here?
  • Daylight: Well, they DID claim that WE were unfit to stop the fight because of OUR backstory.
  • Icky:... Really, guys?!
  • Smolder: SORRY!!!! WAIT, NO, DON'T BOOT ME!!!
  • Icky: Eh, you did scream 'sorry' non-sarcastically, so that doesn't count.
  • Smolder: Well... I hardly saw any changes in you all. You still don't even have your cutie marks yet. You're all just the Mane Six who have to relearn the magic of friendship all over again. You're all a repeat of the past at best.
  • Giggle:... Meh, I guess that's true. But still, we TRIED to help.
  • Icky: Then will you treat them like real students?
  • Smolder: We'll try. But we can't make any promises. Promises this caliber can be easily broken.
  • Icky:... Good lesson there. Don't make promises you can't keep. You're making good progress here.
  • Clyde: I still doubt this is going to change her.
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (Clyde got booted)
  • Clyde: (Muffled in the ground) Dammit!
  • Icky: Boot to the... Butt? (Clyde was booted in the butt)
  • Clyde: AHHHH!! I'M BEING RAPED!!!
  • Icky: Boot to the- Oh, forget it, he's gotten enough right now.
  • Snipeskale: Well, it's MY turn to be remembered in this 'episode' now and say, we should all apologize for what we've been screwing around each other with. Besides, we shouldn't even BE concerned about the EEA. Their antics were so infrequent, we have NOTHING to worry about. Heck, I wonder where NEIGHSAY and his idiot lackeys are now, besides the Black Stallion Asylum.

Cutaway

  • (Neighsay, El Jackasso and Bullshitton were stalking a giant basilisk as this happened)
LEEROY_JENKINS!_animaniacs_2020

LEEROY JENKINS! animaniacs 2020

  • Neighsay:... (Quietly) Alright, everyone. Remember the plan to capture the basilisk and let it loose upon the School?
  • Jackasso: Righto, boss...... LEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS WHOEVER THAT IIIIIIIISSS!!!
  • Bullshitton: YIPPIE KI YAY MOTHERHUMPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
  • Neighsay: (Sighs)... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (The three eventually got turned to stone and fell between each other petrified with the moiwah moiwah moiwah from before)
  • (Deadpool): "Don't worry kids, they'll be fine in time for an episode that needs them to appear in."
  • Basillisk: "..... Oh hey, they're the escaped prisoners and the one Black Stallion Asylum escapee. Better go report them to my local authorities."
  • (Deadpool): "See?"

Present

  • Snipeskale: Ahh, who cares? They're d***s. And not the good kind either.
  • Icky: Boot to the head. (Snipeskale was booted) No swearing, remember?
  • Clyde: Wait, you're gay?
  • Snipeskale: No, just saying it in a different perspective.
  • Icky: (Sighs) Well, you all still owe each other an apology, especially Smolder.
  • Smolder:... (Sighs) Alright, I'm so-... SO-... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- Ugh! My dragon pride is being a REAL female dog here!... Ugh, STILL not a good roll of the tongue.
  • Icky:... Pheh. At least you tried. That counts well enough.
  • ???: Ooh, are we playing boot to the head? That was one of my favorite games back home in school. (Discord teleported in as all the students got aggravated)
  • Discord: Hahahahahaha. So many sore back-of-the-necks! I liked to take creative liberties. (He made himself wear spiked boots)
  • Wavelength: Discord! What are you DOING here?
  • Discord: Eh, I got bored watching the episode take a long time like the others before it, so I decided to step in.
  • Splash: Hey, this one's progressing faster.
  • Discord: Still too slow. So, you all finally get over your whininess? (Slithers around them like a snake) Because I can assure you, there could indeed be somecreature who'll take advantage of it. I mean, you DID bring up there could be jinxes involved, and I know just as well as we all do how Shen hates being made a fool of by the jinx excuse because of Eureka. Amusing to know even HE is gullible.
  • Smolder: Ugh, every time this f***-bucket comes, it feels like I'm getting a tumor!
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (She was booted)
  • Smolder: AW COME ON, ARE WE REALLY STILL PLAYING?!?
  • Icky: It's just a contingency plan, Smolds. You all need to work on tolerance skills.
  • Discord: HAHAHAHAHA! Naughty flying lizard!
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (Discord caught the boot thanks to a clone of himself, put the boot on, and kicked the original with it as he fell into literal pieces)
  • Discord: WHY YOU?!
  • Discord Clone: Hey, I wanted to make it amusing. (He vanished)
  • Discord:... I swear, I've gotten so chaotic even my MAGIC is getting a mind of it's own.
  • Cynder: It's chaos magic.
  • Discord: Exactly.
  • Icky: Well, can you at least do SOMETHING instead of serving as filler?
  • Discord: "I was about to, actually."
  • Icky: "Well hurry up before Black Kat makes ya repeat the over-bearing girlfriend joke again that's clearly building up to a specific episode."
  • Discord: Well, I've been doing some digging into the EEA files in case, you know, ANOTHER EEA wackjob comes along. And this Facade guy? Turns out, there's a member in the EEA, or well, in all tecnecally he was more of a benufactor which are not offically members as more like they're the money guys. The name was Facade Flare.
  • Smolder: WHAT?!
  • Yona: PLEASE tell me you're screwing us around.
  • Discord:... PHAHAAAAAA! Just messing with ya! (He winked at the audience behind the heroes view)
  • Yona: (Everyone sighed in relief) Don't, DO THAT!
  • Discord: Well, excuse me for blowing off boredom. Anyway, what I REALLY came here to tell you is that, I heard some noises at the theater. Just felt it prudent to warn you and see what's up. And, it is pretty safe to bring the students now.
  • Shrek: Finally time we got back to being part of the action.
  • Frank: Darn, and here I thought we'd have to do this nonviolently.
  • Discord: "Oh what fun would these episode be if there was no kicking of tushies?"
  • Chaos: Discord, as one entity of chaos to another, even I know that there's a lot more to being a hero than just kicking tushies. Anyone can be a hero if they do an act that saves others. But, as one who likes to see variety, I'd have liked to see this done nonviolently as opposed to us always fighting.
  • Discord: Me too, bud. Me, too.
  • Yan Yan:... I do not like this guy.
  • Chaos: Not many did when he was reformed. This is Discord. The name speaks for itself. He used to be an evil spirit of chaos because of the lies of his treacherous brother, reversed the Mane Six's true selves, and tried to warp the entire world into his chaotic influence... AND tainted Kairi when we first arrived in Equestria because of being recruited into the Villain League.
  • Boss Wolf: Much to the chagrin of MANY of us, including Shen!
  • Discord: I SAID I was sorry! But who cares? Shen's like the bitch here when it comes to anger problems.
  • Brandy: Oh, wow, I feel SO loved like a dog here.
  • Yan Yan: I've KNOWN spirits of chaos. Set comes to mind.
  • Discord: PSSH, AMATEUR!
  • Yan Yan: I'd expect YOU, Loki, Puck, Coyote, or any other spirit of chaos to say that.
  • Sandy: Hey, uh-
  • Discord: HEY! Shame on you all for distracting from the point, and wasting the time SpongeBob, Spyro, and Shen have before they get possibly muled.
  • Haroud: That's not a word.
  • Discord: Give me credit for trying, now JUST GO THEEERE!!! (Dubbed as Nostalgia Critic) God, I'll put you on the fucking plane myself! (He did that and it exploded upon their arrival with all the characters covered in soot)
  • Patrick:... Thank GOODNESS for cartoon physiology.
  • Squidward: "That's cartoon logic, idiot."
  • Patrick: "Potato Pototo."
  • Squidward: AAAAND nobody says 'pototo'.
  • Patrick: Nobody YOU know.
  • Squidward: Nobody we ALL know. NOT EVEN YOU!
  • Patrick: That's what YOU think.
  • Squidward: Yeah, because THOSE guys are IDIOTS like you.
  • All Lodgers: AHEM!
  • Squidward:... Why do we keep distracting ourselves like that? LET'S MOVE! (They head inside)

Inside Theater

  • Staged Ham: "(Sees the stage he finally wanted to have being setted up) Finally, my magnum opus is finally reaching perfection!"
  • Shen: Oh, there you are.... I mean, I'm assuming. Are you Staged Ham? (SpongeBob scoffed until Spyro nudged him) Where is Celestia?
  • ???: Oh, given the plot description... (Discord showed up) I'd say she's out and beyond your reach before the inevitably worse happens.
  • Shen: Will you PLEASE stay out of this or, eat a mountain of ice cream or something?
  • Discord: OH PUHLEEEHEHEHEHEHEEEZE! If I REALLY wanted a cavity gold mine, I WOULD'VE RAIDED CELESTIA'S SECRET DESSERT STASH!!! (The group was perplexed)
  • SpongeBob: Wow. THAT's a skeleton in the closet we never expected.
  • Spyro: It's DISCORD! He's probably just joking.
  • SpongeBob: I know, I'm not stupid.
  • Shen: I doubt that.
  • Facade:... A friend of yours, I assume?
  • Discord: WHOA, who let the Phantom of the Opera pony in here?
  • Shen: THIS is Count Facade, and we NEED Celestia to give us the warrant to continue our investigation because, APPARENTLY, we need a legal warrant to investigate, a MENTAL STAGE!!!
  • Discord: PHAH! The legal system gets dumber and dumber every passing year. What happened with last year was funny enough.
  • ???: SHEN! (The other Lodgers arrived)
  • Sparx: WHOA! Is, THAT Count Facade?... Oh, I gotta say... YOU LOOK LIKE CELESTIA AFTER SHE EATS THE GRIEF OF DISCORD INEVITABLY CHOOSING FLUTTERSHY! (This happened as everyone was cartoonishly shocked)
Ohhhhh_vine

Ohhhhh vine

  • Sparx: Oh, hell YEAH I dooby-dooby-DID go there!
  • Discord:... (He vomited random stuff for 10 seconds)
  • Icky: "Well that's one way to discourage Dislestia Shippers."
  • Count Facade: "Shippers? Don't you mean sailors
  • ?"
  • Icky: "You don't wanna know what I actually mean. Trust me."
  • Duke: "So is it safe to assumed this over-dressed stiff is Count Facade?"
  • Count Facade: "Over-dressed stiff indeed, this is SOME thank you for making Celestia a better actress, much less even entertaining the concurrent gesture that is this investigation."
  • Icky: "To be fair dude, ya look like you're over ready for a Shakespeare play audition."
  • Count Facade: "The play is the art of powerful impressions, and if I were to be an acting couch for such, I best be looking the part."
  • Shen: Nevertheless, we NEED Celestia! Staged Ham, where is she?
  • Staged Ham: Off promoting my show.
  • Shen: WHAT?!?
  • Staged Ham: Well, she IS the one who's selling my show. Anypony else we CLEARLY established is not going to sell it. Who better to bring attention to a play about Alicorns, THEN an Alicorn?
  • Shen:... Did you convince him to allow that?!
  • Count Facade: These are OUTRAGEOUS accusations, I literally just got here?!
  • Shen: "This is a world where magic exists, OBVIOUSLY magic shindiggery is at work!"
  • Count Facade: Oh bother, now you're just being as silly as a jester on a good day's performance! I am NOT a bad pony.
  • Shen: Your words don't matter unless we're asking for them!
  • Staged Ham: Shen, what pray tell is THIS MADNESS?! Why are you being so shrude to the best acting coach I ever known?!
  • Spyro: We suspect your Count Facade associate is up to no good.
  • Staged Ham:... Why?
  • Shen: Uh, because the name suggests so?
  • Staged Ham:... SHAME ON YOU-
  • Shen: AND the fact Celestia said she KNEW who he was.
  • Staged Ham:... The name thing is still rude, but, fair point. Count Facade, is there something you wish to tell me?
  • Count Facade: Well thanks to THIS roughhousing, I will not say ANYTHING without a lawyer.
  • Shen: Absolutely not, your 'LAWYER' might have knowledge in jinxes, too!
  • Count Facade: Well then, now you're REALLY being silly, I mean honestly, how is this any fair?
  • Shen: FAIR IS NOT MY PROBLEM RIGHT NOW! I'm NOT going to let you go and risk having you plot something behind my back. You are NOT leaving my side until the investigation is DONE, so unless you value proving your innocence, you stay RIGHT where you are.
  • Staged Ham: Facade, can you PLEASE just do as he says? Unprofessional as Shen is kinda being right now, I have to admit, maybe I might have had the wrong idea about you. Keyword might, cause I'm mostly just being unsure right now.
  • Count Facade:... Very well. But ask yourselves this: What if Shen-
  • Shen: SHUT, YOUR, MOUTH, IMMEDIATELY!!!
  • Count Facade:... Was jinxed to do that as a ploy?
  • Spyro:...
  • SpongeBob:...
  • Shen: WHAT, DID I, JUST SAY?! (He tried to attack, but SpongeBob stopped him)
  • SpongeBob: WAIT WAIT WAIT, SHEN!... That's actually a good point.
  • Shen: DON'T YOU DARE FALL FOR THAT!! YOU KNOW ME!!
  • Spyro: Yes, but how do we know that a jinx hadn't affected you to be this way extensively?
  • Shen: HOW DARE YOU?! I AM YOUR GENERAL!!
  • Spyro: ARE you?! You tried to hurt somepony you couldn't prove was guilty! How is THAT any better?
  • Shen:...
  • SpongeBob: Look, Shen, we'll see if he's guilty or not. But, because of this, until then, you're gonna have to stay away from Facade and leave him to US!
  • Shen: UGH, DO YOU IDIOTS GET IT?! HE'S MAKING EXCUSES!!
  • SpongeBob:... Okay, you're DEFINITELY not in charge of Facade anymore for THAT!
  • Staged Ham: Exactly, Shen, that was cold, even for what I heard of you. And believe me darling, some of it? Not very flattering. Maybe you WERE jinxed.
  • Shen: I AM NOT JINXED!
  • Spyro: We can't prove that. You don't have magical immunity. So we can't let you take any drastic measures until this is done.
  • Shen:... Some Lodgers YOU two are. (The two were shocked)... Just, GO! I know when I'm not needed.... GO ON!
  • SpongeBob:... FINE! (He wrapped Facade up with his arms as he can barely pull on Facade they left) GRRRHHH!!
  • Count Facade: "..... I HAVE LEGS YOU KNOW?!"
  • Spongebob: "...... Oh right, sorry. (Lets him go)."
  • Shen:... But just one last question: if jinxes are involved... Who do YOU think you can trust?
  • Spyro:... (The two of them left as Shen went back to the other Lodgers side)
  • Po:... Shen, even by the standards of canon-accrete you, that was REALLY uncool.
  • Shen: SHUT, UP! I try to avoid another jinx excuse fooling me, and this is the thanks I get?
  • Icky: "To be fair, you once again went about it by being a major dick."
  • Thunderclap: "Look, I know that guy's on thin ice for PLENTY of bad implications here, but until we can prove anything, they're just that, BAD implications. For all we know, maybe it was just a bad happenstance the Friendship Students got moody while this guy just happened to be a thing, okay?"
  • Shen:.... Ugh...... Why didn't MERLIN do anything? Hell, why didn't ANY of us do something? We could've gotten ALL THE INFORMATION WE NEEDED FROM HIM, and it'd be OVER! Where WERE you when I was turned against?!... In fact, WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE?!
  • Sir Hiss: Oh, dear, he's right about THAT! (They all head out with SpongeBob and Spyro)
  • Shen: "..... Something smells rotten in the fireworks factory, and it's not just the smell of melting metal and gunpowder.... Well fine. If they can't trust me... I can't trust them until this is over. It's all on me now."

Later...

  • Celestia was seen returning to the place after placing out enough Flyers.
  • Shen: Oh, there you are.
  • Celestia: Shen? Oh, heh, what a surprise to see you.
  • Shen: Yeah, the Lodgers decided to go looking for you, ALL OVER MANEHATTAN, and obviously I couldn't waste time looking all over the place when I could just wait for you here. It seemed the more obvious solution, but I'm afraid for the moment, they are not reliable.
  • Celestia:... That's the first time I've heard you say something like that. You're STARTING to sound like Twilight after the Seaquestria incident.
  • Shen:... That's, not important. What's important, is that you need to realize what we're dealing with.
  • Celestia: Honestly, I'm not in the mood. I've went through a LOT of effort to send out these fliers.
  • Shen:... Wait... (He looked at one of them)... These aren't fliers.
  • Celestia:... T... They're not? (She saw them)... WHAT?! Facade said he printed them ALL OUT! They looked like it to me last time I looked at them!
  • Shen:... I, KNEW it! (Reading one) "Smolder makes the School of Friendship a disgrace after turning the entire student body against each other." "Profesor Buzzord a netourious idiot down to even making a tower that tuns people to toilets out of morbid curiosity"! These aren't fliers, THESE ARE GOSSIP COLUMNS!!!
  • Celestia: Well, I wouldn't say that, but that WOULD be the best way to describe them. I-I don't understand! Why would Facade want me to sell this... Disingenuous information- WOW that's a word I haven't used in a while.
  • Shen: Don't you see? Celestia, why do you think you found Facade familiar?
  • Celestia:... Because I might've known ANOTHER Facade?
  • ???: Oh for the love of- BECAUSE HE WAS USING YOU!! (Discord showed up in a white flash) Laa-dee-doof, you sure fell for a CHEAP EEA scheme. Alcourse being fair here, Facade's not real member, just the money guy.
  • Shen: EEA?!? You said that-...... Oh, you, DIRTY, PLOT-DODGING, DEADPOOLING MOTHERFILLER!!!
  • Discord: HAHAHAHAH! What can I say, playing with the plot carefully and leaving the revelations to when it's NEEDED is FUN!
  • Shen:... Celestia?! How much of those fliers have you sent?!
  • Celestia:... About, 100 thousand, all across Equestria and beyond.... I'm legitimately surprised I did it all QUICKLY! I really AM an Alicorn goddess.
  • Shen:... Ohhhh, noo! The School's name has just been SLANDERED! And RIGHT FROM BENEATH MY ANTI-JINX INSTINCTS!!!
  • Celestia: But why?! Why would he do this?
  • Discord: Again, EEA! You knew somepony with that name?
  • Celestia:... No. Such a pony has never existed.
  • Discord: Well okay to be fair, he wasn't exactly a real member, more like the money dude, but still! In that case, you should see the book I... BORROWED from University himself, so you can see. (He took out the book) Lo and behold.
  • Celestia:... Facade Flare. Reknown Acting Coach and Outside Jinx Teacher. Benefactor to the EEA?!?... OHHHH, NOW I REMEMBER! HE... DID HE JINX ME?!
  • Discord: (With Audrey II's head) NOOOOOOOO S***, SHERLOCK!
  • Celestia: He didn't want to help with this play at all. He wanted to shut down the school!
  • Discord: (Still with Audrey II's head) And I'm sure he'd want to THANK you!
  • Shen: Okay, stop that now.
  • Discord: Sorry, just wanted to get that out. (Turns his head back to normal)
  • Shen: "Then in that case, the dirty lout has CEARLY jinxed the Lougers! Ugh, this is what I get for letting that cretin a word in edgewise?!"
  • Celestia: "Well in that case at this point, we can't encounter him, cause of me being jinxed, I'll just be controlled against you."
  • Discord: "Well I could remove it, but knowing how devious this guy is, it's probably also the same jinx that makes you a better actress now. That could risk having you be cringe-worthy again, and that might soil for Hammy's play. I mean, jinxes? Spells that can stupefy people? That's like LEVEL 0 for chaos beings. Heck, I did it all the time to YOU in our teenage years, and I still have fun doing it today."
  • Celestia: YOU WHAT?!
  • Discord: Don't check what you've been eating from your Secret Dessert Stash- I MEAN, FOOD PANTRY, for the last few weeks- OKAY, WE GOTTA TAKE THAT PHANTOM OF THE HOOFRA, BLAH, THAT WAS STUPID, OUT! Dare I say, make it CURTAINS for him.
  • Shen: I'm PRETTY sure that means killing him.
  • Discord: Give me a break, even I'M not good at making punny words. I know, this coming from ME, right? But still. THIS is a jinx that I wasn't a part of. AND THOSE ON CELESTIA?! THAT'S supposed to be MY specialty!
  • Shen: Okay, SERIOUSLY, after this, you and I need a NICE LONG CHAT!
  • Celestia: We must find the Lodgers!
  • Shen: Given you were sent to send those gossips all over the world, they could be ANYWHERE by now.
  • Discord: OR, I can do THIS! (He snaps and teleports them all back, all except Facade)
  • Marty: WHOA, WHAT THE-?!
  • Discord:... Wait, where's Facade?... PLEASE don't tell me he's got a jinx against MY powers. OH COME ON, I'VE GOT CHAOS MAGIC, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!? Guys, just keep an eye on him while we find you. Where were you?
  • Applejack:... At Twilight's place.
  • Discord:... (The group face-palmed and they all teleported there, only to find Facade gone)... (He did this)
Son_of_a_Bi—

Son of a Bi—

  • Facade: HAH! I knew that anti-Discord jinx would come in handy. (He ran off)
  • Shen: OH WAY TO GO, DISCORD!
  • Discord: CAN YOU JUST STOP WASTING TIME BERATING ME AND GET THAT GUY?!?
  • Shen: EASIER DONE THAN SAID! (They went after him)
  • Icky: "So I take it this is another fuck-up to add in the fuck up file?"
  • Kowalski was seen adding this to the file!
  • Shen: "Consider this a vaid excuse to increse jinx resistence training then?!"
  • Phil: "ALREADY AT THE TOP OF THE BUCKET LIST!" (They all chased him and they caught him rather easily)
  • Fidget: HAHAAA, WE GOT HIM!
  • Merlin: Wait!... This was TOO easy to pull off. (The jinx revealed they caught the wrong pony, who was Mayor Mare)
  • Mayor Mare: PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, I'M NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF OLD TO DIE!!!
  • Lucky Jack: Uh, guys? Look! (They saw that all the people in Ponyville were jinxed to look like Facade)
  • Shen:... See, students? THIS is what happens when SOME OF US turn AGAINST each other! THEY FAIL, AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU END UP A MOCKERY!!!
  • Gallus: OH HOLY WINGS OF AERICOLOUS, SHUT UP!!! JUST GO FIND THE REAL ONE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!
  • Rainbow Dash: It's ALREADY too late! THIS gives Facade ENOUGH time to escape. We'd NEVER find him in time! We CAN'T just go out interrogating random ponies- One of them's doing it, isn't it?
  • Mr. Whiskers: (He was slapping what was revealed to be an elderly mare) ALRIGHT, FACADE, FUN'S OVER!! (Bold voice) OVER, I SAY!!!
  • Shen:... Well, look how RIGHT I turned out here? You all should feel SO stupid right now.
  • Phil: OH DON'T GIVE US THAT S***, BUSTER! HOW COULD WE NOT DISBELIEVE YOU?!? THAT'S HOW JINXES WORK!
  • Sandy: Plus, you didn't make it better by DOING WHAT YOU USUALLY DO! YELL AT THE PROBLEM AND CALL US IDIOTS AND STUPID ONES AND EXPECT THE PROBLEM TO RUN AWAY LIKE A COWARD!
  • Shen: Well, we're HEROES! We're SUPPOSED to be THINKING wisely!
  • Archimedes: Wisdom HARDLY matters when it comes to jinxes. They warp our minds.
  • Shen: Which is why I'm going to suggest QUADRUPLE the training.
  • Shenzi: Okay, even PHIL wouldn't go THAT route.
  • King of Hearts: Yeah, even my EX-WIFE, as crazy as SHE is, isn't THAT extreme. Chopping off the first head she sees IS BARELY SCRATCHING THE SURFACE! If it wasn't, SHE'D CHOP HER OWN HEAD OFF!!
  • Frank: Wow, you're starting to sound like her.
  • King of Hearts: Why do you think we were married?
  • Gazelle: Look, the point they're saying here is, jinxes are NOT something training can teach us to resist. Jinxes are meant to BYPASS defenses. Just like 'idiots'.
  • Squidward: Yeah. It's like I always say. There's NO such thing as idiot-proof. Idiots are TOO unpredictable, and SO are jinxes. They will ALWAYS find a way around a defense. If that wasn't the case, Facade wouldn't have even MADE Celestia a good actress.
  • Shen: (Sighs) Fine, you've made your point! I'm... Sorry. It's just, ever since Eureka made a FOOL out of me, I REFUSE to let a SINGLE jinx excuse get to me. But instead, it ended up affecting YOU all too, and MY mistrust ended up being used against me.... HOWEVER-
  • Phil: SHEN, WE'LL FIGURE OUT ANTI-JINX S*** LATER!! Right NOW, we have a Phantom of the FOPPRA asshole to deal with!
  • Pinkie: But first, can we deal with THIS?! (She noted that they still see everyone in Ponyville as Facade) I can't tell ANY of these ponies apart! They all look like a jerk who I'd want to punch in the face... With my party cannon.
  • Twilight: "Well at least it won't be giving him cake-"
  • Pinkie: "Then afterwords, I won't be giving him cake, I'LL BE ASSULTING HIM WITH CAKE?!"
  • Icky: "Look, guys, why won't we skip this obvious filler moment in the plot and just assume the real deal has ran off to his place by now?"
  • Lord Shen: "Because I'm anxious that he isn't and is intentionally sticking around to watch us act like imbaciles?! That's how DEVIOUS this guy is?!"
  • Icky: "Or, he IS long gone at this point and messing around here is just buying the real deal time?!"
  • Lord Shen: "That is exactly my point?! This horse is DEVIOUS?!"
  • Starlight: "I think I know a de-jinxing spell that could help!"
  • Shen: How do we know that will work?
  • Starlight: Because the jinx works when one ISN'T jinxed. Technically, I wasn't around for that, so... (She fixed the jinx and everyone was back to normal)
  • Pinkie:... YOU, ARE A LIFESAVER!
  • Starlight: It was nothing at this point. But still, just to be sure, let's check his place.
  • SpongeBob: YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH, where is that?

Later...

  • Staged Ham: Somewhere on the mainland outside Manehattan.
  • SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW let's get em! (Everyone raced out)
  • Staged Ham: JUST MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T CRUSH MY REPUTATION AS MUCH AS HE DID YOURS!!! (Sighs)... I just hope Celestia STAYS a good actress. She's the one who's keeping me around.
  • Death Coffin:... Uh, actually, she shouldn't.
  • Staged Ham: Huh?
  • Death Coffin: Trust me, I'm doing you a favor. If this keeps up, ponies will only be accusing you of using her as a publicity stunt. If anything, all you needed with an Alicorn who PARTICIPATED in the war. ME!
  • Staged Ham:... I'm surprised I didn't think of that myself.
  • Death Coffin: Glad you have me for that. So, whether Celestia remains an actress or not is irrelevant. All you need is ME. In fact, I'm GOOD at acting myself. You should have seen me in my youth. And I can still pull it off. I have the Hooflet skull to make it work, too. My OWN skull. (He pulled it off) TO BE, OR NOT TO BE!!
  • Staged Ham:... Well, the acting is exceptional, but, I DON'T think Renaissance's relic would want YOU acting in it's presence. All THAT would do is make the play Nightmare Night themed.
  • Death Coffin:... (Sighs) True. Then I suppose Celestia DOES matter.... HOWEVER, the relic hasn't been used for eons, and I haven't SEEN it used, so... How do we know the product WILL be Nightmare Night themed?
  • Staged Ham: You want to risk trying it out?
  • Death Coffin:... Yeah, no. You have made the fairest of arguments, mortal.
  • Staged Ham:... Good luck out there, Celestia.

Chapter 5: Facade's Grand Scene

Facade's Mansion

  • Facade got to his stage....
  • Count Facade: "..... Oh, how I end up needing you even more now, my grand centerpiece that completes my private stage. (Looks at a square-shaped jewel)...... The Jewel of Jinxes. You are about to serve my bloodline just as you have as a generational family jewel."
  • The Lougers barged in kicking the doors off the hinges!
  • Count Facade: HEY, WATCH IT! You could CRUSH somepony with the doors!
  • Memory Lane: (He was seen crushed) Owwww... I'm okay.
  • Max Cat:... I guess it was a reflex Star and Marco gave us. Why is that even still sticking to us?
  • Max: "Whatever, let's get to saying this: ALRIGHT, PONY VERSION OF THE MAD THESPIAN, HOOVES WERE WE CAN- (Count Facade activated the jewel on the stage as everything flashed)...."

Facade's Magic Simulation World.

  • Applejack: (The group found themselves in the area)... What in the Samhill?
  • (Facade): "You couldn't just leave WELL enough alone, Peacock?! Well here comes a Shakesponian punishment. You all will now be trapped in my magic simulation stage, forever made to relive your past exploits for the rest of time! Never to get out."
  • Pinkie: "Oh what gives Facade? Why are you being so mean all the sudden after helping Celestia?!"
  • Shen: "And for the bloody EEA? YOU WEREN'T EVEN AN ACTUAL MEMBER?! You just gave money to them?!"
  • Mr. Krabs: "I mean, I can personally relate to not wanting to have wasted investments, but-"
  • (Facade): "THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, YOU DOLTS?!"
  • Rarity: "Well, good, that's something unselfish at least. As the element of generosity, I applaud you. BUT, it's kinda petty of you to be upset about the Jinxes then, cause-"
  • (Facade): "Not even THAT!...... I mean, that's more of a personal thing of mine, but even THAT is only a minor player to the REAL reasons why I am doing all this!"
  • Lord Shen: "..... Well if it's not even FOR THAT, then what's the bloody point you-"
  • (Facade): "My daughter....... Fa-Ca-Dee...... She, was going to become an EEA member. (The Simulation World showed a unicorn mare about to be made EEA member)...... But because Neighsay decided to be a BAD ACTOR to the group, University forced it's disbansion as a knee-jerked response! It cancelled out my daughter's membership before it started...... It, destroyed her. (Facade was seen comforting her crying daughter) She had never been the same since. She had to settle for being a school play teacher again because of that "School of Friendship"! I could've been fine with just losing out on the jinx career because of politics. It's not the first time jinxes got into controversy. All I had to do was wait for Eureka to become irrelevant and regulation eases down. But my daughter being robbed of her dreams? THAT, is what soured the play of life for me! And because you kept persisting, you ANGRY excuse for a bird, (Icky snickered), You and the others will be made to RELIVE all of your past exploits, again, and again, AND AGAIN?!"
  • Icky: "..... Pfft, dude, you're talking about things we'd already went through, that's not so bad."
  • (Facade): "But this time, you can't resolve them with the previous solutions as before, as I will rewrite it that they will NEVER WORK?!"
  • Po: "Now hold up, dude, do you think that's what your daughter would want from you-"
  • (Facade): "YOU LEAVE FA-CA-DEE OUT OF THIS?!"
  • Po: "Hey you're the one who brought her into this first, dude, I- (Everything turns into the Spirit Realm)..... Uhhhh, wha- (Sees Kai Charging for him) AW NOT AGAI- (Kai slams into him) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!"
  • Monkey: "DON'T WORRY, PO, IT'S NOT THE REAL KAI?!"
  • Rainbow Dash: "Yeah, but Facade said he won't let baddies be beaten the same way again! We're in trouble here?!"
  • (Facade): "And thanks to the Jewel of Jinxes, it'll STAY THAT WAY?!"
  • Twilight: "The Jewel of Jinxes? But that was said to have been lost in the Chaos Wars!"
  • (Facade): "Then truly lucky my ancestry had rediscovered it, correct?"
  • Twilight: ".... Admiting that was your mistake, Facade, cause now, I'm- (Suddenly got bum-rushed by a powered-up Tirek) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?!"
  • Pinkie: "DID WE HAVE TO BRING TIREK INTO THIS?!"
  • Discord: "Okay this is getting ridiculous now, I'm just gonna go ahead and- (Suddenly got pinched in the nose by the appearing Mayhem)...... REALLY DUDE?! YOU HAVE TO BRING MY BROTHER INTO THIS?!"
  • Spyro: "Don't worry guys, Cynder and I can- (Malefor, Gaul, Blot and Evil Qui appeared)....... You have NO shyness to mess with personal pasts, Facade?!"
  • Sandy: "Well, guess it's all up to us Spongebob, we can- (Drainthus emerged from nowhere and towered over her)..... Of all of our past enemies from our native world, DID IT HAD TO BE THE LOVECRAFTIAN ONE?!"
  • Mr. Krabs: "Okay, now this is just getting silly- (King Neptune (Movie) appeared)"
  • King Neptune: "YOU STOLE MY CROWN, KRABS?!"
  • Mr. Krabs: "..... Oh NOT AGAIN?! (Got frozen over)! (Moans)....."
  • Icky: "Okay dude, you're just being an asshole now- (Jerky pounced and started to beat him up) THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE OF THEM ALL?!"
  • (Facade): "Insult me all you want, the Jewel of Jinxes will protect me, for you can never be able to find it?! It will not let you?!"
  • Gilda: "Okay, so like, is it safe to assume this thing is an Alicorn thing?"
  • Twilight: Many of the most powerful ancient magic devices are Alicorn God in origin. The Jewel of Jinxes was a jewel made from the illusion of smoke-and-mirrors by Princess Vicissitude.
  • Private: My word, since when did you learn so much about-
  • Twilight: Death Coffin.
  • Private:... Of course.
  • Twilight: Hey, at least he has to redeem himself SOMEHOW! Anyway, the Jewel of Jinxes was meant to distort reality for Vicissitude's enemies during the Chaos War, until one Draconequus was able to take it and ensure it was lost. This device is capable of sending people in circles, with illusions and pasts, for all eternity.
  • Sam: That's not exactly an issue for us. If ONE Draconequus can do it, we can-
  • Twilight: It took him 18,000 years.... In the time dilation of the Jewel. He MENTALLY aged, 18,000 years, IN AN HOUR!
  • Sam:...
  • Discord: Well, Jabberwock poo!
  • Smolder: You REALLY think all this s*** is gonna-
  • Icky: BOOT TO THE HEAD! (Smolder got booted)
  • Smolder: OKAY, NOW IT'S APPROPRIATE TO ASK, ARE WE STILL PLAYING THAT?!
  • Icky: Well, you GOTTA practice that. I mean, THIS bastard duped Celestia into sending gossip columns all over the world about you. Don't wanna give him MORE dirt, do you?
  • Smolder: Alright, alright, fine. Let's just kick his butt and take care of THAT later.
  • (Facade): Good luck. Most of you will CRACK and DIE before you could even FIND it in your lifetime.
  • Spyro: You underestimate us!
  • (Facade): And YOU underestimate the JEWEL! (Their past foes surrounded them)... Good luck. ACT ONE, BEGIN!
  • Iago: "Okay, this guys is REALLY taking the thespian stuff too seriously- (Dodges a zap attack from Jafar) AYYYYE?!"
  • Tigress: "Everyone, don't forget that they're illusions! Their purpose is only to distract us!"
  • Duke: "(Getting Chased by Zootopian Cops) WELL THEY'RE DOING A GOOD JOB KEEPING OUR ATTENTION?!"
  • Tigress: Again, ILLUSIONS! They- (She was smacked comically through walls by a dodged attack by King Neptune as she was cartoonishly scorched)... Can still pack a good punch! (She fell to the ground)
  • Po: Well, everyone, I guess we're gonna have to get past them somehow.
  • Kai: You DO know we can HEAR you! We're EVIL, not DEAF! (He took out his jade blades)
  • Max Cat: (Wheezes) Oh, geez, (Cough) I hairballed myself.
  • Thundera: Well, SOME of us need to show OUR stuff for once. (She cast lightning at them from many clouds)
  • Malcho appeared from nowhere and charged at Thundera!
  • Malcho: "HERE I COME, RAINBIRD?!"
  • Thundera: "Crumba! (Dodges an attack from Malcho)."
  • Squidward: "(Sarcasticly) Gee, does this jewel know EVERY personal foe?"
  • Squillium: "(Appears forth) Hello, Squidward, I'm here to rub it in that I am rich in succeeding in where you failed in, since High School!"
  • Squidward: "Of course it brings Squillium into this."
  • Luna: "Starlight, now's a good chance for you to- (Starlight was seen cornered by Starfem and Fem Fatala)..... Oh for the love of?!"
  • Celestia: "Don't worry Luna, we can figure something out!"
  • ???: "Oh will you?"
  • Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon appeared!
  • Luna: "..... THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR NOW, FACADE?!"
  • Daybreaker: "Hello, lesser us! We had put aside our sisterly feud to get rid of our weaker halves so WE can rule Equestria! (Quietly) In a 60/40 split."
  • Nightmare Moon: "I HEARD THAT?!
  • Daybreaker: "Oh relax, you moody moon brat, I was joking?! It's 50-50 as promised."
  • Celestia: "..... FACADE, DRAGGING OUR WORSE SELVES INTO THIS IS REALLY SOURING THE FACT YOU HELPED ME?!"
  • Lord Shen: "(Fighting another freaking Rematch with Dark Shen) NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CRETEN CONSTENTLY COMING BACK IN THESE SORT OF SITUATIONS?!"
  • SpongeBob: OKAY, WE NEED TO MOVE BEFORE MORE PAST FOES SHOW UP!
  • Patrick: THEN DON'T JINX IT! HAHAHA! (They head out)
  • (Facade): Good luck finding me in this false realm. You'll NEVER know what's real or fake. The Jewel is the PINNACLE master of illusions.
  • Fluttershy: WE'LL FIND A WAY OUT REGARDLESS, YOU, YOU SOCIOPATHIC MONSTER!
  • Twilight: Just keep moving girls! We'll still-
  • ???: YOU! THIEF! (Queen Novo appeared as things ended up appearing underwater)
  • Twilight:... Oh, no! How many times does THIS have to come up? Novo, please, I'm sorry for the last time, but YOU'RE NOT REAL! YOU'RE JUST AN ILLUSION AND- (Started unintelligibly gurgling along with many of the heroes until the right spell allowed them to breath underwater)
  • Queen Novo: GUARDS! SEIZE THEM! (Seapony guards began to chase them down)
  • Twilight: OKAY, FACADE, NOW YOU'VE MADE IT PERSONAL!
  • Mushu: YOU MEAN HE HASN'T ALREADY?!? (They all began running in circles in a mix-matched setting)
  • Gallus: "Okay, the villains I would get, but WHY Novo and the king merman guy? They aren't villains?!"
  • Shifu: "I believe it is not just villains the jewel is using! It is also using those of personal and sometimes unresolved conflicts!"
  • Twilight: "Well then, good to know that I REALLY need to consider settling things with Novo then?!"
  • Sandy: "Okay but that doesn't explain why King Neptune's here cause we resolved the crown thing!"
  • Squidward: You mean SpongeBob and Patrick did. WE were just being mind-controlled. I was fanning Plankton while YOU were hamster-wheeling rocks.
  • Sandy: Details, details.
  • Pang Bing: "My guess that the jewel touches personal scars as well."
  • Squidward: "Well to be fair, I'd imagine being accused by a sea god is a very traumatic experience. He was nearly executed for stealing the crown after all, of which he was framed by Plankton for in that infamous Plan Z stunt he pulled. THE VERY TIME THAT GOT PLANKTON IN THE VILLAIN LEAGUE!"
  • Rainbow Dash: And yeah, that incident with the Pearl scarred both Twilight for it nearly costing her her friends, AND Novo when Twilight called her and the entire kingdom cowards for it, turning her against the people who saw her oust us.
  • Kowalski: Wait, when did that happen?
  • Twilight: Shortly after she changed us back. But can we STOP wasting time here?!
  • Rainbow Dash: YES, LET'S... Uh, I mean... Come on!
  • Discord: Pfft. Still not letting go to that South Park moment you had, huh?
  • Rainbow Dash: (Clenched teeth) SHUT, UUUUP! (They went across the stage as they found themselves chased by more enemies and personal people)
  • Kowalski: Alright. All evidence proves... WE'RE LOST!!
  • Discord: (With Audrey II head) NOOOOO S***, SHERLOCK!
  • Celestia: PLEASE don't do that again! It's creepy.
  • Skyceria: Indeed.
  • Discord: PSSH, PLENTY of Draconequui have plant heads.
  • Skyceria: Then I PRAY that I never meet one.
  • Discord: Prayers mean jacks*** to chaos.
  • Skipper: UH, CAN WE TONE DOWN THE SHENANIGANS HERE?! WE NEED A PLAN HERE!! Kowalski, analysis?
  • Kowalski: I wish I could OFFER some if I had SOMETHING to work with. Obviously these guys all around us aren't real, but... HOW DO WE KNOW ANY OF US ARE REAL?!
  • Nigel: Uh, what makes you say that-
  • Another Nigel: OH, HEY GUYS, I'M COMING- (He fell on his crotch) AHH! WHO PUT THAT CRYSTAL THERE?! (He fell in pain)
  • Plankton: HAHAHAHA! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! AGAIN, AGAIN!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: Okay, even the REAL Plankton wouldn't act THAT childish.
  • Another Mr. Krabs: Yeah, he's WAY too college-educated for THAT!
  • Mr. Krabs: WHAT THE DEVILFISH?!? (Suddenly, more duplicate Lodgers showed up, and the enemies ended up attacking them)
  • Boss Wolf:... Okay, which one of us is the REAL deal?
  • Everyone: I AM!
  • Boss Wolf:... Ugh! This is going to turn into s*** faster than I thought!
  • Starlight: Well, good for you, I can see who the REAL ones are. It's- (She was jinxed by the Jewel)... Wait, who's the real ones?
  • Boss Wolf:... Are you crapping me?! THE STUPID JEWEL JINXED HER?! YA WOULD F*****G THINK THAT THE OVER-POWERED UNICORN WOULD COVER HER ASS BETTER THAN THAT!!
  • Icky: "Okay this is getting ridonkeylous now!"
  • Icky 2: "Don't ya mean rediculious?"
  • Icky: "Yeah but I like to use wacky words cause it's my bis yo!"
  • Icky 2: "Then in that case, ZAPPA DAPP DOO?!"
  • Icky: ".... Damn, thought I was onto something about exposing these yuts!"
  • Iago: "Good try though."
  • Icky: "I'd say thanks but I don't know if it's the actual Iago I'm speaking to!"
  • Frank: Welp, it's official. We're all trapped here FOREVER! AND EVER!!!
  • Gloria: Okay, don't give up hope. We can do this. In fact, the more duplicates, THE MERRIER! ALL OF YOU, YOU WANT TO HELP US FIND THE JEWEL?!
  • Marty: HECK YEAH! IT'S ONE FOR ALL...
  • Hundreds of Marties: AND ALL FOR ALL YALL!
  • Alex:... At least it made sense for YOU.
  • (Facade): "And thank you for proving to me that making more of you was a questionable choice?! (The duplicates vanished)."
  • Icky: "..... And alcourse the Dinkus would pull that!"
  • Marty: "Awwww man!"
  • Melmen: "Well at least we know who's who now."
  • Shen:... (He made a sinister smile)... Well, again, we CAN use ALL our duplicates against you. I'm sure they're PRETTY negotiable.
  • (Facade): You think I'm a fool?... NO CLONE ARMY ALLOWED IN THIS STAGEPLAY! (All the clones vanished and revealed the real Lodgers)... Oh...
  • Shen: Hmmph. Guess we jinxed the jinxer, huh?
  • (Facade): (Sighs) Well, you'll still have THESE villains and bad moments of your past to bite you.
  • Shen: Yes, but THAT'S child's play to us. You forget that you're using already congured adversaries, good count! Everyone? LET'S LODGER THEIR ASSES! (They beat up the villains in the area)
  • (Facade): "BUT DON'T FORGET THAT I WON'T LET THEM BE BEATEN IN THE SAME USUAL WAYS?!"
  • Sandy: "No problem, we'll get CREATIVE THEN?!"
  • Gilda: Yeah, WE'LL TOTALLY PRAIRIE-DOG IT! (They got creative and embarrassed each and every one of the villains and the new ones that showed up)
  • (Facade):... Very well. I'll have to take drastic measures.
  • Iago: DRASTIC?! HAH! What can YOU possibly do to us that's MORE drastic than-
  • Icky: "PLEASE DON'T PROVOKE KARMA?!"
  • (Facade): TOO LATE! (The setting changed and separated all of them)
  • Discord: OH NO YOU DON'T! (He snapped, but his chaos did nothing)... Ugh. I hate you!
  • (Facade): And everycreature hates YOU!
  • Twilight: Let's just meet each other somehow.
  • Icky: HOW DO WE DO THAT?! MANY OF THIS PLACE'S WALLS ARE MIRRORY!
  • Twilight: Look, it's either we try or we stay trapped in here forever, SO FIGURE IT OUT!
  • Icky: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! (They all head out)
  • Discord: Alright, buster, you are SO not beating us at MY OWN GAME! We've played it for kicks many times.
  • (Facade): Well, if that's what you think, I'm sorry to say, you're playing the wrong game!
  • Discord: Pssh. I'll figure this out. Jinxes ARE basic nature to chaos. Things that warp the mind, so to speak. No matter what, I'mma gonna get us out of here, with or without my magic.
  • (Facade): Ohohohoh, you are MORE than welcome to TRY! (Discord flew off)
  • Gallus was seen on where he is now.
  • Gallus: "..... Aw fuck, these mirrors are messing with my claustrophobia."
  • (Facade): "Oh very ill-time to be admitting a specific weakness, young man."
  • Gallus: ".... THAT WASN'T MEANT TO BE KNOWN BY YOU, YOU EEA CLOD!!"
  • (Facade): "Not a true member, I only benufacted?!"
  • Gallus: "Yeah, I get it, you were the cash bitch, BUT IF IT QUACKS LIKE A DUCK, IT'S A DUCK?!"
  • The Mirriored walls started to close in!
  • (Facade): "Your impudence will only make it worse for you, young man?! Is that not what you're in the school for? To be the best of what Griffins could be? I admit, I kinda pity you. I bet it's hard to be from a race made infamous for their avaricious nature."
  • Gallus: "Oh sure, kick a fella while he's in a phobia based stress, REALLY MAKES YA A BIG STALLION! I mean, do ya think this is what your daughter would want from you?! (The Mirriored Walls get closer) EEK?!"
  • (Facade): "BRING MY DAUGHTER INTO THIS AGAIN, SEE WHAT HAPPENS!"
  • Gallus: ("Okay, guy's CLEARLY touchy about talking about his daughter, good to have ALREADY known from when Po did it!")
  • (Facade): "But to prove that I have no murderous intent, that's all as close as these walls will be. Besides, these are not normal mirrors. They are reflections, of personal inner demons. Something the rest of your companions will see for themselves."
  • Shadowed Versons of Gallus all appeared around him.
  • Shadow Gallus 1: "..... Why don't ya admit it, stupid? You're a griffin! You're BORN into greed?! Why fight it?"
  • Gallus: "..... Do my inner demons have to be SO predictable and bring THAT in? I already dominated that greed s*** by NOT being completely that 24-7!"
  • Shadow Gallus 2: "But are you over, losing your parents?"
  • Gallus: "..... (Angrily) You stay the F*** away from that, you handsome assholes!! If I didn't already know that you're LITTERALLY my symbolic dark reflections on magical mirrors, I'D SMACK YOU ALL IN THE TUCKUS!!"
  • Shadow Gallus 1: But have you considered that maybe it's not WORTH this after they MAY have been killed by griffin-haters?
  • Gallus: HEY DUMBASSES, FOR MY DARKER SELVES, YOU SEEM TO BE UNAWARE THAT MY PARENTS DIED TO A GRIFFIN-HUNTING AMARASI?!
  • Shadow Gallus 3: Well why do you think that is? Griffins have been gold hoarders for as long as we can remember. And here you are, risking ending up like them, regardless if you're just like all the rest?
  • Gallus: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT GARBAGE?! All you are is my WORSE PERSONAL FEARS MEANT TO TAUNT ME!
  • Shadow Gallus 2: So what if your parents deaths were as straight forword as a bad run-in with an Armasti? It's not like the world weeps for them cause of it. Griffins have been responsible for several crimes that caused prejudice BEFORE Goldstone. That guy, was just the latest case. Mammon KNOWS they'd do things like this all the time. They'll do ANYTHING for money.
  • Gallus: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!
  • Shadow Gallus 1: Oh don't deny it. You were born in GRIFFINSTONE, and that place is a S***HOLE since they defined their pride over some LOST IDLE! They only care about themselves. Hell, how do you know your parents wouldn't've SOLD you for a few measly bits had they not died in the holidays?!
  • Gallus: SHUT, UP!!! YOU TRUELY DON'T KNOW ME FOR LOOKING LIKE ME?!
  • Shadow Gallus 3: (With a darker distorted voice) YOU GOING TO KEEP TELLING YOURSELF TO SHUT UP, CHICKEN-BOY?!?
  • Gallus: Ghaahhh!!
  • Shadow Gallus 2: Come on, face it. THEY haven't grown out of that Idle's loss for MAMMOM KNOWS HOW LONG! AND, in just 3 years, NOPONY has forgotten what Goldstone did. If they never changed then, they NEVER will, not even with the magic of friendship. Did you REALLY think this school thing was going to work?
  • Gallus:..... Ya know what?..... Had this happened back in the first day, this would've been a foregone concludsion. Oh sure, I still have plenty of reasons to be skeptical of this working, but, ya know what I was taught from even only one of the joke Lougers?..... Nothing gets done within a measly year, dorks?! (The Shadow Galluses were surprised) Oh sure, I would LIKE for people to get over Goldstone already, but you three said so yourselves, what Goldy pulled isn't new s***! Just another stupid example of what's wrong with Griffins! And about that crack about my parents?! I'm happy to say that I knew them enough that they were different! THEY ACTUALLY TRIED TO BE DECENT!! And that's enough for me to hope for Griffins to at least be a LITTLE like that!
  • Shadow Gallus 2: "But you still don't know your parents enough to know what they're REALLY like?!"
  • Gallus: "Well, I'd know this! I'd know they would've been glad for me to get something good in the Griffin Name! And ya know what? Even if this s*** ends up taking 1000 years from now, if I can exist as at least the shining example of what Griffins SHOULD BE, then F*** getting the problem fixed quickly within my lifetime then! I should start appreciating that doing good gives long term benefits of it being remembered for generations. SO F*** YOU SHADOW FREAKS FOR SAYING OTHERWISE?! You're not actually there anyway?! (The defeated Shadow Galluses vanished and the walls were pushed away)...."
  • (Facade): "Wha, WHAT?! How did you-"
  • Gallus: "Yeah, the tree of harmony did a DAMN good job humbling me, bitch. Did you HONESTLY think that was going to get to me? You really ARE more part of the EEA than you think."
  • (Facade): ".... A minor oversight. But I doubt your friends are any harder to break. I know this to be true, with Miss Smolder."
  • Gallus: "You mess with ANY of my friends, AND I'LL SHOW YA THAT THESE TALONS ARE NOT JUST FOR SHOW!"
  • (Facade): Oh, please. You don't have the FEATHERS to- (Gallus smashed a glassy crystal)
  • Gallus:... You were saying?
  • (Facade):... (Sighs) Well, good luck even trying to get back to the others. Smolder will still be easy to break here.
  • Gallus: Please. She was already made a mockery, she'd NEVER fall for ANY of this s***!

Meanwhile...

  • Smolder: NONONONONONONOOOO!!!
  • Shadow Smolder: YesyesyesyesyesyesYES!! You got the School into deep s*** all by yourself. You could easily break, ANY OTHER DAY!
  • Shadow Smolder 2: Deep down, no PONY can EVER change who you are.
  • Smolder: Why don't you tell that to Spike, and my brother?
  • Shadow Smolder 2: Oh, PLEASE, those two were fostered. At least YOUR brother was able to find his family easily, but Spike wasn't. He never had the chance nor the balls to be one of us.
  • Smolder: Well he did TRY, until my brother tried to hurt him. I'm sure we ALL aren't too stupid to forget why dragons are so aggressive.
  • Shadow Smolder 3: Heh. If you ask ME, and yourself, these ponies are the reason why we are so aggressive. They let their guard down, they expect everycreature to follow their ways, just because they're the dominant race in the world, and perhaps people like the Storm King came because they weren't so content with that and wanted that magic to use it for much BETTER intent, some good and some bad.
  • Smolder: So what?!
  • Shadow Smolder 3: So what's the deal of changing who you are? Dragons don't EVER change who they are, just, BECAUSE! The world isn't going to get any better with the magic of friendship.
  • Smolder: No, but I have confidence that Twilight KNOWS what she's doing. It's their greatest strength, and they're sharing it with us to help us improve and bring peace to the world. Neighsay isn't completely wrong. There will ALWAYS be one who wants to use this power selfishly. Power ALWAYS corrupts, but-
  • Shadow Smolder 1: Ugh, you sound just LIKE a pony!
  • Smolder: HEY, WATCH IT!
  • Shadow Smolder 1: Just admit it. You think friendship is a vulnerability. And it IS! Friendships are a danger in this world, and you knew this REALLY well. Next thing you know, one may betray you, or even end up being used against you, and given the Windigo thing, I doubt that's safe for you.
  • Smolder: Well, you know what I say? F*** me! Because Windigos are MORE fixated on PONIES. Otherwise WE'D have a problem with them today. As the purest beings, they are the prime food source. All the magic WE have is in our breaths.
  • Shadow Smolder 2: Actually, think about it. Ponies have some of the strongest magic in the world. When ponies are in a state of negativity, it gives them the ability to feed. I don't even know WHY they exist. Creatures that are meant to force ponies to get along better. If the magic of friendship spreads to us, who's to say that we won't be victimized? Certainly happened to the Gargoyles.
  • Smolder: Heh, well look what's going on even WITHOUT it.
  • Shadow Smolder 3: Well, maybe we're OKAY with that.
  • Smolder: That's what they ALL say, and next thing you know, you become a coward like Novo who only cares about the welfare of her own people than the concerns of others.
  • Shadow Smolder 2: That's how the world works.
  • Smolder: And it got BROKEN!
  • Shadow Smolder 2: BUT THAT IS HOW LIFE WORKS! It's SUPPOSED to be broken, or we wouldn't be so diverse and free as a race.
  • Smolder: JUST SHUT UP, WILL YOU?! NOTHING YOU SAY MATTERS!
  • Shadow Smolder 1: INDIVIDUALITY ALWAYS MATTERS!!
  • Smolder: SAYS YOU!
  • Shadow Smolder 2: WE, ARE YOU! You can't deny that you don't think you're going to be happy like this forever. There's no such thing as happily ever after. There's no such thing as true love. AND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WORLD PEACE! This is the REAL WORLD, AND YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!
  • Smolder: "..... Then ya know what? Maybe I think the real world, NEEDS TO BRIGHTEN UP?! (Punches a mirror which dissolves a Shadow Smolder) Maybe it's time for it to be fixed?! (Punches another mirror with a Shadow Smolder, dissolving it as well)..... And above all else, F***, BEING LIKE YOU EMO CREEPS?!"
  • Shadow Smolder 3: "Duh duh duh, okay, maybe we egged ya on too hard, we-"
  • Smolder: "SO F*** OFF ALREADY?! (Punches the last mirror with dissolves the last Shadow Smolder).....Besides, I already woken up...... But just not the kinda woken up you emos wanted."
  • (Facade): "Well, perhaps I slightly underestimated you, Miss Smolder..... It's a mistake I'll be sure not to repeat."
  • Smolder: "Well that's what you get for being an outsider looking into things you're not apart of."
  • (Facade): "Though, I wonder if the rest of your compatriots would be so durable."
  • Smolder: "You do that and you'll get a free reminder on why Dragons are so infamous?!"
  • (Facade): You threaten me like that, and you'll only REPEAT what already got you in trouble in the first place. Dragons are good at MESSING THINGS UP with their aggression, all through violence and harsh attitudes.
  • Smolder: Then you CLEARLY underestimate us. You clearly underestimate ME!
  • (Facade): You can't change who you are. You're a DRAGON! Deep down, you will ALWAYS be a violent spoiled brat. Who's to say you won't do this AGAIN?
  • Smolder: When those words come from YOUR mouth, they don't matter, you racist scumbag!
  • (Facade): No, they were correct. This world doesn't care for unity because all it does is make them weaker. They forget their individuality, the one thing that makes each race strong. No world should be together because otherwise they forget to rely upon themselves. Why should they care about this school idea? It's NEVER going to work. And even if it does, then for how long? There'll ALWAYS be something to break the bonds of friendship. After all, nothing lasts forever. Not even in a fairy tale.
  • Smolder: STOP TRYING TO GET TO ME! You've already tarnished me ONCE!
  • (Facade): My hooves are CLEAN, dragon. YOU'RE the one who pushed your friends too far and gave ME something to work with. No jinxes were involved. Don't believe me? Then why did it take until NOW for you to crack? If all that was my hoof, I would've done it a LONG time ago! You dragons are SO predictable. Aggressive beasts who will find ANY excuse to take your stress and pain on others.
  • Smolder:... You better hope I don't find you, buster, because just for that, I will make sure YOU'LL be made a mockery, in MORE ways than one! I'll even tell Ember and her prince boyfriend what you said.
  • (Facade): That'll be the day. Goodbye.
  • Smolder:... And hello!... Wait, that doesn't make any sense... Does it? Ah, whatever! (She continued flying off and soon a montage of all the separated heroes confronting darker shadow versions of themselves were seen)
  • (Deadpool): "So we're just doing Gallus and Smolder and basically skimming the others? Not that I'm complaining, going through the others would've taken FOREVER, and it be good to get this episode done and out!"
  • (Scroopfan): "Well we're gonna at least give Shen some attention, and then get this over with."
  • (Deadpool): Then allow me, crossover dorks!
  • (MSM): Call us that again, and I'll tear you apart and put you back together BACKWARDS!
  • (Deadpool): How is that possible-
  • (MSM): YOU WANT US TO SHOW YOU HOW?!?
  • (Deadpool): OKAY! (He peeled the next scene as Shen was wandering the stage alone)
  • Lord Shen: "..... Well finally I found something resembling what the area USED to look like before this simulation nonsense occured.... Unless this is a FAKE!" (He stabbed the setting and it was not as he expected)
  • ???: Pretty clever. (Shadow versions of him appeared in the mirror walls)
  • Shadow Shen 1: But it won't be enough.
  • Shen:... Well, obviously. But, I will not stop. Once again, I refuse to let jinxes get the best of me... NOR my friends.
  • Shadow Shen 2: Yeah, good luck with that. Jinxes are PRETTY sneaky.
  • Shen: "..... And of course you bunch would know that, BEING ONES YOURSELVES?!"
  • Shadow Shen 3: "A-........ Seriously? You caught on THAT quickly?"
  • Shen: "WELL I BLOODY REMEMBER I'M IN A SIMULATION REALM CREATED BY A JEWEL OF JINXES!? Prior before this encounter I just ran into the umpteenth rematch with LITTERALLY a fiery doppleganger of myself! As if I would entertain your follies?!"
  • The Shadow Shens vanished.
  • (Facade): "Okay, being fair here, the one who was already against me was CLEARLY the one not easy to break. Then I'll just have to get more creative with you."
  • The Mirrors began to show images of Shen's past and each haunting moment of them.
  • Shen:... Really? You're REALLY going to pull THAT card on me? If I was STILL touchy about all that nonsense, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE REMAINING IN THE LODGE, NOW WOULD I?!
  • (Facade): Wait, what?!
  • Shen: The past is in the past, Facade. Don't think I'm someone you can break in an instant. You nearly did once, and you will NEVER do it again!
  • (Facade): Oh, I beg to differ. You're Lord SHEN! The aggressive general of the Lodge. There's ALWAYS going to be something that pushes you over the edge. I should know. I've seen you do it.
  • Lord Shen:... Perhaps you didn't hear me. I KNOW you now. You, will, NEVER, break me, AGAIN! So go ahead and give me your worse. I won't even FLINCH a SINGLE FEATHER ON MY BEING!
  • (Facade): "OH YOU WILL SEE, PEACOCK?!"

French Narrator: 1000 Attempts Later...

  • (Facade): "UNBELIEVABLE!! NOT EVEN USING YOUR PARENTS GOT TO YOU?!"
  • Lord Shen: "I mean, if it makes you feel remotely better, I'll admit making simulations of my parents denounced me, was almost a winner. But your big flaw in that act was the fact I made peace with my parents long ago. Everything else was just a complete waste of time. Time only given for my friends and allies to get together."
  • (Facade): ".... I guess I can see why Celestia gets with you. YOU BOTH ARE DIFFICULT CASES TO CRACK!! I literally had to use a jinx to even get her to high quality whereas doing it naturally wasn't going anywhere!"
  • Lord Shen: "Told ya I was serious of not falling for jinxes again!"
  • (Facade): "OH FOR PETE'S SAKE, WAS THE EUREKA THING THAT BURDENSOME?!"
  • Lord Shen: "Well, I was both humiliated in front of the love of my life and my team, AND it came at a bad time while an ancient foe was returning! The blighter ended up usurping the entire episode that time!"
  • (Facade): "Well, your persistence will not help you forever. I can still just make it that you will never find the jewel and-"
  • (Female Voice): "Father, I'm home, I'm- Oh, Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were doing another session with someone. Another troubled actor?"
  • (Facade): "(Panicked gasp) FA-CAD-DEE?! Uh, daughter dearest, this is an extremely bad time, uh, Memory Lane, escort my daughter to the dinning room and prepare her a nice long feast."
  • (Memory Lane): "OH DON'T TELL ME YOU EXPECT ME TO DISTRACT YOUR OWN KID!!"
  • (Facade): "SHUT UP AND DO IT, LANE?!"
  • (Fa-Cad-Dee): "Um, I'm getting the feeling it's a very private session, I'll just-"
  • Lord Shen: "WAIT WAIT WAIT, MISS FA-CAD-DEE, YOUR FATHER IS-"
  • (Facade): "A FANTASTIC ACTING COACH, IS WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY!! (Sternly) Lane, GET MY DAUGHTER INTO THE DINNING ROOM NOW?!"
  • (Memory Lane): "What am I even suppose to make?"
  • (Facade): "ANYTHING?! THERE'S SOME FROZEN HAY PIZZAS IN THE FRIDGE!! USE THEM!!"
  • (Memory Lane): "Alright, that shouldn't be hard to do-"
  • (Fa-Cad-Dee): "Wait, father, what's going on?"
  • (Facade): "An extremely private session, I assure you, I-"
  • Lord Shen: Fa-Cad-Dee, if you can hear me, then your father is trying to-
  • (Facade): "-MAKE EXCELLENT ACTORS OUT OF AN UP-AND-RISING TROUPE CALLED, Um..... The Scallop Club Brigade! A very new and up and coming acting troupe!"
  • (Memory Lane): "...... Really?"
  • (Fa-Cad-Dee): Sounds tough. I guess I'll leave you to it.
  • Lord Shen: WAIT, FA-CAD-DEE, YOUR FATHER-
  • (Facade): "IS DOING AN AMAZING JOB AND MUSTN'T BE DISTURBED!!"
  • Lord Shen: STOP INTERRUPTING ME!
  • (Facade): I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO KEEP ME FROM... TELLING MY DAUGHTER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!
  • (Fa-Cad-Dee): Aww, Daddy!
  • Lord Shen: IF YOU REALLY LOVED HER, THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER THAT SHE'S THE REASON YOU'RE TORTURING THE SHELL LODGE SQUAD IN ORDER TO RUIN THE REPUTATION OF THE SCHOOL OF FRIENDSHIP?!
  • (Fa-Cad-Dee): WHAT?!
  • (Facade): OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! Daughter, go to your room! We'll talk this out later! (They left)
  • Shen:... You know... THAT just made you more pitiful than you weren't before. You're REALLY doing this, AS A FATHER?!
  • (Facade): For your information, I am TRYING to help her after her dreams were CRUSHED! I'm doing ALL of this, FOR HER! AND YOU JUST CRUSHED IT FOR HER, AGAIN!
  • Shen: What, do you think getting revenge on Celestia and the School will bring the EEA back?
  • (Facade): OF COURSE NOT! But jinxing enough creatures with YOU out of the way, WILL!
  • Shen:... I think you've done ENOUGH jinxing today. And, again, thanks to you wasting time with trying to break me, the heroes should be back together right... (Everyone arrived)... Now!
  • (Facade): Uhh... How do you know they aren't jinxes?
  • Shen: Because you said 'uh'. That gives away these are the real heroes.
  • Icky: Yeah, IDIOT!
  • Smolder: You are SO, NOT dead!... Wait, how does that make sense?
  • Gallus: Exactly. You drive all of us to doubt ourselves with our darker conscious selves? SHAME ON YOU!
  • (Facade): There is NO shame in what I do. My daughter's dreams were CRUSHED because of the School!
  • Phoebe: Oh, waaah, my daughter couldn't get into the EEA! To quote SpongeBob, yes, I am, shoot me, we ALL had dreams. What makes your daughter so special?
  • SpongeBob: Okay, uh, Phoebe, that's STILL a little insensitive. Especially if you said it to her.
  • Shen: Well, she's here.
  • Pain: Wait, seriously?
  • Shen: And her FATHER is trying to hide his ambitions from her.
  • (Facade): I HAVE to! All of this is for her, and you're attempting to crush her dreams MORE! If anyone should be ashamed, it's YOU!
  • Shen: I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU MEAN YOURSELF!
  • (Facade): "Oh like any of you would understand, neither of you are her father?! Nor mother for those of female gender?!"
  • Gallus: "True as that is, dude, the fact you tried to cover it up shows that she's CLEARLY not in on what you were up to! Ergo, NONE OF THIS IS WHAT SHE'S ASKING YOU TO DO?!"
  • (Facade): "..... Well, obviously no, but I'm sure she understood that I'm doing this for her."
  • Luna: "I'm sure your daughter understood why the EEA had to be disbanded."
  • (Facade): "She was there herself, of course she does! It was because of Neighsay being an idiot and-"
  • Lord Shen: "IT WAS WORSE THAN HIM BEING AN IDIOT!! HE WAS BEING A RACIST IDIOT!!"
  • Applejack: "One made that way by outdated systems made in the Fear Wars, and the kinda things that could've gotten into yer daughter's mind and ruin her too."
  • (Facade): "...... Now, be assured my daughter was well warned of those, troubling things, she's smart enough to not take them seriously. She wanted to get into the EEA and had a LOT of knowledge going for her."
  • Squidward: "Well how do you know the EEA haven't been playing with jinxes of their own?"
  • (Facade): "As if University would allow it!"
  • Lord Shen: "Assuming less honorable members would even let him be AWARE of it! And the old stallion was set to retirement anyway back then, so there could be a lot of things he wasn't aware of or had full control of. And if he wouldn't know about it, then clearly you wouldn't know about it since your just the money guy, AND BY EXTENSION your daughter would not know about it!"
  • Silence.....
  • Lord Shen: "...... I trust you NOW understand why people made a big fuzz with jinxes now?"
  • (Facade): Are you FOOLING?! THAT factoid was BEATEN INTO MY HEAD enough. I just NEVER factored in that others would know how to jinx others. I'm the master of jinxes in the EEA, even if I wasn't a full-on member. I taught jinxes AND acting well enough to BE a full-fledged member at this point. Somepony with MY experience would KNOW if somepony else was using jinxes on University and did something about it.
  • Lord Shen: Like you said and like WE ALL KNOW, jinxes are supposed to get past even OTHER jinxes and those who are good at detecting them. Their potency is why the Royal Guard, as incompetent as they are, take them VERY SERIOUSLY! They can REALLY mess up your mind, and as far as I'm concerned, they've affected YOU this whole time. What if someone who has it out for the School MORE than you put you up to this?
  • (Facade): Can you STOP playing mind games here?!
  • Iago: Hey, you started it, jackasshole!
  • (Facade): I'd, KNOW, if somepony jinxed me.
  • Iago: WOULD YOU?!
  • (Facade):... YES!
  • Smolder: Wow, you're stupider than ALL of us right now.
  • Polarity: Smold, I don't think being jinxed is the same as being stupid.
  • Smolder: Maybe not, but for a MASTER of jinxes, he sure is CLUELESS to them.
  • Dipper: Uh, I think it's accurate to say that nocreature likes mind games. It makes you question what's real and what's not real. It drives you INSANE! You could end up Black-Stallion-Asylum-bound with such trickery. But unfortunately for him, our minds are as hard as steel.... Mostly. You failed to stop us with jinxes thus far. Just give it up.
  • (Facade): NEVER! You all just got lucky because of my short-sightedness. But luck ALWAYS runs out, and I intend to make that happen.
  • Gazelle: "Then we can't promise being gentle on you in spite of being a troubled father if you keep these games up."
  • (Facade): "At this point you're just saying that to try and scare me! You know not of the jewel's location, so you can NEVER-"
  • ???: FOUND IT! (Fa-Ca-Dee appeared with the jewel)
  • (Facade):... YOUNG LADY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
  • Lord Shen:... You've had it outside your stage this whole time. Clever bastard.
  • March Hare: BULLS***! I CALL BULLS***! IT CAN'T WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN THE PLACE IT'S AFFECTING!!
  • Mad Hatter: We REALLY shouldn't question magic. (The entire illusion dropped as Facade and Fa-Ca-Dee were arguing)
  • Facade: FABULOUS CAROL DEED!!! HOW DARE YOU?!?
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: Because this is WRONG! NONE of this is going to get me what I wanted back. All you had to do was WAIT until the control died down.
  • Facade: IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS!!!
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: Doesn't matter. I'm willing to wait THIRTY years to get my dreams back.
  • Facade: Fa-Ca-Dee, listen, I-
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: Don't "Fa-Ca-Dee, listen, I" ME! I can't accept THIS being done for ME! That'll make me look like a JOKE! AND ONE WITH NO GOOD SETUP OR PUNCHLINE! It'll RUIN my life and ruin my chance to be an EEA member once it's reinstated. YOU NEARLY RUINED MY LIFE!!! WHAT, THE TARTARUS, WERE YOU THINKING?!
  • Facade: "...... Admittedly, my thoughts were clouded by you being so sad and broken up that...... I failed to read my audience and, gave a sour performance..... But to simplify that, I, admit that, I wasn't thinking straight. Your sadness effected me and, I wasn't in my right mind."
  • Memory Lane: "So you're not mad that I forgot where her room is and ended up trying to figure it out while she snuck back in?"
  • Facade: "(Deadpan) We'll talk about THAT later, Lane."
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: "...... Dad, I'm sorry I made you feel so bad for me that you basically hijack Stage Ham's play to ruin the School of Friendship! I mean, we both know the EEA had problems and, it couldn't be helped with what University did. You should've talked with me about this."
  • Facade: "Well, it's still my own fault for acting out. Now, I assume that I costed our family's right to have the Jewel of Jinxes as an heirloom-"
  • Gallus: "YOU DAMN WELL RIGHT YOU'RE NOT GONNA KEEP IT, BUDDY?!"
  • Facade: "-And that reaction confirmed it. And now I'm bound to be sent to Black Stallion Asylum."
  • Icky: "Ehhh, since that's where Neighsay is, more like Project R.E.P.E.N.T., something especially made for you EEA types to prevent Neighsay from having a base outside of the donkey and the bull with the HILARIOUSLY bad names."
  • Facade: "Well, a place that's similar to Black Stallion Asylum, anyway."
  • Icky: Pretty much. And you better hope it ain't Prison 42.
  • Facade: "But you never send ponies there."
  • Icky: "Ehhhhh, true, but you were THIS close to being the first case, dude."
  • Facade:... Then thank Philosophius I'm not.
  • Icky: BUT DON'T PUSH IT, BUSTER! You are STILL getting s*** for this!
  • Facade: Ugly bird, this was LITERALLY for my daughter, and we JUST ended up working it out.
  • Krebs:... Just like that? All we needed to do was to bring his daughter to save the day?
  • Duke: REALLY?!?
  • Shen:... Excuse me for one second. (He left the room and outside, screaming so loud it could be heard all over the world)
  • Facade: "..... But, don't get me wrong, if I still have to go into this Project R.E.P.E.N.T. thing, then I will do so out of obligation to make up for my actions. But, Fa-Ca-Dee is permitted to visit, correct?"
  • Icky: "Don't worry, they allow for visiting hours."
  • Facade: "I just want to ask, I want to let it be known that, I am sorry to use Staged Ham's play for my own matters, and I wish for him to know that I owe him greatly for this. And it was an ambitious play too, something that's about about the Alicorns AND authentic? I'm ashamed of myself for ruining that."
  • Gallus: "Ahhhh, it wasn't gonna really go anywhere cause ponies weren't taking that shit seriously, even if you didn't send gossip colums out instead of advertising the play."
  • Celestia: "...... Actually...... I think I know how we can still save the play, AND cure the School's reputation all at once."

Chapter 6: And, Scene!

At the Theater...

  • Staged Ham: (He was seen depressingly sitting on the stage with his suit on)... UUUGHH! (Time Crunch shows up)
  • Time Crunch: "Sir, it's almost showtime."
  • Staged Ham: "(Sniffles), I know, but nobody came. I, I just discovered the flyers were just gossip columns made to give potshots to Sparkle's school! And thus, nopony even knows about the play now?! What am I going to do?! (Cries)."
  • Death Coffin: "Allow me to check up on Sparkle and others, I'm sure by now they caught Count Facade."
  • ???: No need. (The heroes arrived)
  • Twilight: We got him.
  • Staged Ham: Oh, thank Celestia, I had nothing to worry about!... Right?
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: Not really. It was actually easy all things considered.
  • Staged Ham:... Oh, it's little Fa-Ca-Dee.
  • Time Crunch:... Odd name. Could we be ANYMORE obvious with your relation to THIS charlatan?!
  • Fa-Ca-Dee: Go easy on him. He came from an understandable place. He was acting this way because he was hurt when I lost my chance to get into the EEA.
  • Smolder: What a wuss.
  • Icky: Boot to the head! (She was booted)
  • Smolder: UGH! (Dubbed as Otis) WOULD YOU, STOP, DOING, THAT?!
  • Death Coffin:... May I ask why he's even here then?
  • Count Facade: "I, want to make proper amends before my departure to Project R.E.P.E.N.T. and pay penitence there. I at least want to make sure your play is an actual success first."
  • Staged Ham: "..... Ohhhhh, I guess I can't stay mad at you, Count. We all have unprofessional moments in our careers."
  • Time Crunch: "..... Wow we forgive too easily. Okay fine, no hard feelings over all, but it's gonna be hard to get a packed house in the last minute since it's almost showtime!"
  • Count Facade: Actually... I transformed all the gossip fliers I tricked Celestia into handing out into what they were SUPPOSED to be.
  • Staged Ham:... YOU DID?!?
  • SpongeBob: And here comes the packing! (Suddenly, ponies lined up at his doorstep)
  • Time Crunch: WHAT THE TAR?!
  • Staged Ham: HOLY SWEET CELESTIA, YOU REALLY DID!
  • Death Coffin: Wow! That was quick!
  • Staged Ham:... THANK YOU SO MUCH!! (He strangle-hugged Count Facade)
  • Count Facade: AHHK! NEED, AIR!!
  • Staged Ham: Oh, sorry.
  • Icky: Eh, that's all the physical punishment he needs for all this nonsense anyway.
  • Smolder: I'm STILL not sure if this play is going to change ANYTHING.
  • Celestia:... Well, there's only one way to find out. (They got the relic out)...
  • Death Coffin:... Unbelievable. I remember seeing this only once.
  • Celestia:... Stand back, everyone... I got this. (She began to act in front of the relic)
  • Gallus: This is gonna be so embarrassing, even if she KNOWS how to act without jinxes.
  • Count Facade: Actually, my jinx wore out. She shouldn't be able to-
  • Celestia: (Flawlessly acting, she recites a part of Staged Ham's script)
  • Lord Shen:... Are you SURE this isn't a jinx?
  • Count Facade: It shouldn't be.
  • Staged Ham:... I think... Your jinx gave her a memory of acting.
  • Count Facade: I don't think that's how that works.
  • Archimedes: It's magic, you don't have to explain it. (Celestia continued acting until something awoke from the relic. It was a small magical orb)
  • ???: GYAAAHHHHHH!!! I HAVE SHOVED OFF THE MORTAL COIL!! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HE-... Wait... Where am I?... How... How long has it been?
  • Celestia:... Are... Are you... Prince Renaissance?
  • ???:... Yes. Are you not the one who summoned me?
  • Celestia:... Yes.
  • Renaissance: Wait... I... You... You look so much like Solaro, Starby, Luceen, and Asterella...... A... Are you... Nightus and Heavenslight's child? I, I never thought about where those two fillies would be after this! WHAT A TRAGIC THOUGHT!!!
  • Celestia:... Uh... Yes.
  • Death Coffin:... I... Celestia, I think you called out to Renaissance' soul because your acting was so pure.
  • Boss Wolf: Okay, I DEFINITELY call hacks with THAT one.
  • Smolder: So... Let me get this straight... YOU'RE the soul of the Alicorn God of the arts, music, acting, all that s***?
  • Renaissance: Language, young one. This situation is already queer. (Iago and Icky scoffed at that)... What's so funny? Can ANYPONY explain this boner? (Icky and Iago burst into hilarity)... AHEM!
  • Pinkie: Yeah, uh... Those two words, queer and boner... They mean different things now.
  • Renaissance:... Do they? Then what- (SpongeBob whispered it to him)... Okay... THAT is just gross. A-..... Death Coffin? Is that you?
  • Death Coffin: In the nonexistent flesh. It's... A long story, I'd rather not talk about it.
  • Pinkie: He got cursed trying to use the Jewel of Souls to bring all the Alicorn Gods back because he thought we mortals were immature at doing their jobs.
  • Renaissance: PARDON?!?!
  • Death Coffin: CONFOUND IT, PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!! EVEN GLEEA WASN'T THAT ENTHUSIASTICALLY STUPID!!! But yeah, you can see why I'm not the Alicorn God of Death anymore, and crashing with an animal caretaker pony because my actions couldn't give me a better more suitable home. It may seem out-of-place for somepony like me to live in that setting, especially since the animals are still afraid of me, and another reason why Fluttershy founded that sanctuary, but bottom line, I must sleep in the bed I made with the blood on my hooves, even if it's not sanitary.
  • Renaissance: THEN WHO IN THE NAME OF HE-WHO-WAS-THE-PREVIOUS-DEATH-ALICORN-AND-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED IS IN CHARGE?!?
  • Patrick: What kind of curse was THAT?
  • Renaissance: Don't ask about that. PLEASE!
  • Death Coffin: A Thestral named Purgatory is in charge of that. Once again, a mortal in charge of an Alicorn God's job. It's not pretty and seems petty at times, but SOMEPONY must do it since I threw that job away for my own kind.
  • Renaissance:... (Sighs) Okay, I'm CLEARLY out of my time period, and I am already trying to process the fact that one of our FINEST GODS meddled with powers too great a risk to use. Do you even KNOW what that Jewel has DONE?!
  • Death Coffin: Can you PLEASE not rub it in, Renaissance? At least it was from an understandable place. If YOU heard how the mortals of this world treated our jobs, like some putting Meteora's job of managing the weather into a business, changing seasons with commonplace and arbitrary tradition nonsense, regardless if it was made from understandable situations, even down to... Albeit very catchy song numbers, and even-
  • Renaissance: AHEM! You've already made your point, I must humbly ask you to stop ranting on with filler.
  • Icky:... How in the HELL do you know what 'FILLER' is? You come from a time period when that term was nonexistent.
  • Renaissance: Paradoxxus can use future terms sometimes. Even those 'LOL' and 'OMG' things.... Are they here yet?
  • Icky:... Yes, and makes sense.
  • Renaissance: So, again, as you can see, I require a LOT of catching up.
  • Rhabdom: Clearly.
  • Renaissance: How long has it been since the Chaos Wars?
  • Death Coffin: Eons.
  • Renaissance: EONS?!?! HOW MANY EONS?!?
  • Death Coffin: I FEAR IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME TO SAY, WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH A DEFINITION OF TIME THANKS TO THE LOSS OF PARADOXXUS! But, I will say that it was long enough that the mortals are now well established into what was once our roles. These mortal creatures have been carrying on without us.
  • Twilight: You know, I'm NOW stating to question how many other Alicorn Gods are still disembodied in souls out there. I mean, clearly it's not a scientific anomaly of no natural phenomenon like I put it back in Cyberjurassic Park, what a WEIRD time that was, but... Still, HOW MANY OTHER SOULS OF ALICORN GODS ARE OUT THERE?!
  • Applejack: Heck if I know, Twi.
  • Icky: Well, if you need catching up... Well... Here's the best way I can put it... (He sang this, with lyrical changes for Equestria's history)
Animaniacs_2020_-_Catch_Up_Song

Animaniacs 2020 - Catch Up Song

  • Renaissance:... I didn't follow MOST of that. Also, does EVERYCREATURE explain things in song now?... THAT IS GRAND!
  • Icky: Eh, not ALL the time.
  • Renaissance: I... Ah, never mind. I shall catch up to the modern times in due time. Why have you summoned me?

French Narrator: One Explanation Later...

  • Renaissance:... I see... Well, consider myself game.
  • Yona: Really?
  • Shore: Well, he IS the Alicorn God of theater.
  • Renaissance: This setting looks like it has forgotten its primordial roots. It simply MUST be reminded. And I know JUST the way. You already have the stage set, yes?
  • Staged Ham: As we'll ever have, and ponies are already seated.... OH CRAP, THE SHOW'S STARTING IN 1 MINUTE!!!
  • Renaissance: Then allow me. It's time for the return of the ILLUSTRIOUS, PRINCE R-R-R-R-R-R-R-RENAISAANCE! (He manifested powerful magic that flowed all over the stage area)
  • Smolder:... Is he always that flamboyant?
  • Death Coffin: To a T! (Twilight and the others teleported into the stage in their VIP seats)
  • Staged Ham: Um... Uh, right then. ON, WITH THE SHOW!
  • Discord: "I'm gonna need more popcorn."
  • Pinkie: SSHH! Just conjure up as much as you can. (Discord did that as the VIP seats were up to their necks in popcorn)..... I just had to say that like that, did I?
  • Discord chuckles.
  • The lights begin to dim as the ponies applaud.
  • (Deadpool): "So like, are we gonna like actually see the play, or is this gonna be like the Simpsons Planet of the Apes Musical play where we only see the highlights and-"
  • Renaissance: (He revealed himself spectacularly in an astral projection of his old body, which was clayish-gray and had a mane, tail, moustache, and beard of white luscious flowing hair like Celestia's, looking nearly like a sculpture, but with an actor's hairstyle, and had a cutie mark that looked like a Renaissance painting that covered much of his flanks)... LADIES AND GENTLECOLTS!
  • (Deadpool): Well, holy shit, they're actually going for it.
  • Staged Ham: Wha?
  • Twilight:... Is this an improvisation or something?
  • Pinkie: SSSSSHH!!!
  • Discord: (Super-quiet) That's a big fat yes!
  • Renaissance: This play you have come to is a special one. I am your host. The stage owner has taken the liberty of bringing me here to tell you the story of... The Alicorn Era. I am, Prince Ponitarias Renaissance, and I shall bring the play itself to life, for your convenience. (He cast his magic all across the stage, impressing everyone)
  • (Renaissance): Long ago. There was once nothingness. Then the world of Equestria exploded into being thanks to the wonders of one entity. An entity of magic. It had learned emotion as it lived.... Then it found a true form. An angelic horse. A horse who raced around its new world... And gave birth to life thanks to learning how to combine the emotional branches of magic and create a new kind of magic. The magic of friendship. Everything in the cosmos was its friend. It knew it all from the smallest particle and it had seen everything, because it had once been everything.
  • Luna:... (Quietly) I... Are you sure this is the beginning?
  • Death Coffin: (Quietly) Trust me, it is. Just let him get to it.
  • (Renaissance): (As Staged Ham was amazed by the display)... Then as the entity continued taking physical form, it lost its connection to the cosmos. It could no longer control the world as a whole. Not without help. This magic of friendship, at this period, had no name. This entity decided, it was time to abandon an incorporeal existence... And it split itself across the world into new entities. Wherever these individual fragments went, a special kind of magic was born. The biggest one... Gave a grand birth. (The audience was star-eyed as they witnessed the birth of a baby foal with whitish-rainbow hair)... But it wasn't alone. There were more. (More baby Alicorns appeared all over the world)... Their own magic drew each other together... And yet the entity that birthed them did not consider that discarding itself meant that there was nothing to bring the chaos out. These young creatures had to fight and survive. And they could. They were blessed the gift of immortality. The ability to live through great dangers... So long as their magic was not used against them. They were beings blessed and birthed from divine magic. (All the young fillies united in the wastelands of the world they were born in)... There were many of these creatures. But these, became the first Alicorn Gods. Queen Philosophius was the leader amongst them, and her first friend, King Temperanus. They were the only ones to last the entire era. They were very wise, powerful, and strong. That was what made them, the Head Gods, of Alicornia. (The Alicorn Gods came to erect a large golden city in a beautiful utopia)... As the eons passed, more Alicorn Gods were born. Prince Cognizanceus gave the gift of knowledge and wisdom to share Philosophius' wisdom and knowledge to others. Princess Enchantra was born when the magic of friendship evolved into the magic of love, which is much more potent and diverse among this ancient land. She granted this magic to others, and it allowed them to harness grander power of their own. Lady Victoria was born to help bring conflict as a means of securing peace, ensuring victory on one or many sides, and preventing complacence. Lady Pacifica, was born as Victoria's sister as a means of balancing her in contrast, a harbinger of peace and tranquility. They both soon gained a cousin. Princess Volitia. The Alicorn Goddess that gives war and peace the ability to choose and decides the fate of either side, and prevent the existence of needless violence and peace.... Then there came the primordial Alicorn Goddess of life itself... Princess Environa. She gave the Alicorn Gods the ability to control life. This is what would come to form animals, plants, and even races. Her daughters, Vernal, Estival, Autumnal, and Hibernal, were in charge of judging life's resilience, by granting the world it's seasonal cycle, creating the world's first climate changes. But there soon came another. One that judged how life would fare, change, adapt, migrate, or go extinct. Gaia Everfree. Her job was very grim, but she was created to give Environa the ability to destroy life if it becomes too successful or beyond their views.... Princess Phantasma granted the ability to dream after discovering the subconscious mind's ability to use lucid, a potent mana that could grant the mind a greater grasp on magic via their dreams, and to ensure that sleeping was not just nothingness.... Then whence earth-based creatures became good at growing crops, Princess Thrivia was born as the Alicorn of the Harvest. This was to ensure balanced and fruitful agriculture and harvest, as well as the ability to grow, change, and thrive.... When fate became too fickle and brought lack of hope or faith, which in turn threatened the Alicorn Gods' way of life, two new gods were born. Princess Serendipity, the Alicorn of Good Luck, and Princess Vicissitude, the Alicorn of Bad Luck. Both were in charge of giving luck to those who need it, but not on demand, restoring faith.... Life started on the ground, thanks to one god. Princess Terricolous, the Alicorn of Earth, who morphed the terrain of the world, such as hills, mountains, rocks, the works, and even the terrestrial creatures that set foot or hoof on it.... But underground was not her turf. That belonged to her brother, Prince Hypogean, the Alicorn of the Underground, who gave birth to caves, aquifers, cave life, and even the subterranean beings who dwell in them.... When the skies became too bleak as all things were mostly restricted to the terrain, where most of the world's society dwelt... Princess Aericolous was born as the Alicorn of the Sky. She gave birth to all flying beings across the world, and bring beauty to the skies.... Then there was one last environment that was untouched. The glorious ocean. In it's biggest, there was born Princess Maricolous, the Alicorn of the Sea. She gave life to these waters, and gave balance to the ocean itself.... When conditions needed to be balanced for the Season Sisters... A new Alicorn Goddess was born. Princess Meteora, the Alicorn of Weather, who gave birth to weather like rain, snow, sleet, and everything weather can grant.... When life became too gloomy, Princess Gleea, the Alicorn of Festivity, was born to bring joy and happiness through festivals and parties... Eh... While also really intoxicated in certain times.... When overpopulation began among fauna, an... Unorthodox Alicorn God was born to curb this. Princess Venery was born in a savage land as the Alicorn of the Hunt, hunting beasts of many kinds for sport and to curb overpopulation.... When value came into the minds of races upon the discovery of gold and gems... King Mammon came to existence as the Alicorn of Wealth.... Many Alicorn Gods were born when new concepts were born. Each concept spawned a new Alicorn God. Unfortunately... Not all were beneficial. There were Alicorn Gods who had dark origins. One of which was the very first Alicorn of Death. His acts were so terrible, so great, and deathly, that he was then christened... The Alicorn of the Apocalypse, and imprisoned in a forbidden uncharted land, where Death Coffin would become the new Alicorn of Death... UNTIL NOW!
  • Death Coffin: (Sighs)... (Quietly) Did he really have to say that?
  • (Renaissance): But that was not all. After all, not all Gods had to be benevolent. Without malevolence, there was no balance. Then again... Opposites were a common theme for Alicorn Gods. There was Lord Order and Lord Chaos. The Alicorn of Order, and the Alicorn of Chaos. One of the earliest Alicorn Gods. Before the Draconequui, Lord Chaos was the image of chaos itself. Both became too obsessed with the concepts they represented they had to be imprisoned and limited of their power.... Prince Woeus was the Alicorn God of darkness, black magic, fear, and pain. He was too obsessed as well, and had to be imprisoned as well. King Epidemic was the Alicorn of Pestilence and the opposite brother of Queen Elixia, who unleashed sickness and plague among mortals, even against the limits of the Alicorns, and was punished by his sister, the Alicorn of Remedy, for this crime. Prince Gasconade was born amongst the war and chaos as the Alicorn of Vanity. He created ways to spread his narcissist magic. Alicorn Gods, were either benevolent, or malevolent, simply because they had to be. But the malevolent ones sometimes needed control.... But their GREATEST gift, was us, AND other races.... Ponies were born in an archaic land known as, Dream Valley, in an era forgotten to time. This is where they discovered the magic of friendship, and wielded it well. Earth ponies were a gift from Terricolous and Thrivia to bless the earth with magic and provide grand harvest. Unicorns were created by Philosophius' sisters, Princesses Consciencea and Thaumeda, as a means to bless the gift of magic to ponies. Pegasi were born thanks to Aericolous to bless magic to the sky.... But the other races... They're a different story. (He winked to the Students)
  • Gallus:... Okay, he didn't need to do THAT.
  • Ocellus: SSHHHH!
  • Gallus: (Quietly) I AM SHUSHED!
  • (Renaissance):... Griffins, are a perplexing creation. (Many of the ponies booed)... What?... (Sighs)... Must've suffered a recent controversy. Well, I can assure you, this is not the first time. They were BORN greedy for a reason. They were created by King Mammon and Princess Aericolous, to prevent mass complacence by hoarding wealth, and only giving it to the worthy. Mammon created all types of treasures and the griffins were their primordial deliverers, and guardians. Creatures meant to prevent mass wealth and complacence, by hoarding it all.... Unfortunately... As I can see... When the Chaos Wars ended and Alicorn Gods were lost... Griffins lost their purpose. They began to hoard the gold for themselves... And their instinct of greed would evolve beyond acceptable limits. Griffins evolved from greedy guardians... To greedy monsters, because the loss of their masters have left them with nothing. (Gallus and Gilda were perplexed)
  • Gallus:... (Quietly) I... I had no idea.
  • Gilda: (Quietly) None of us did.... This... This changes a lot.
  • Smolder: (Quietly) Pssh. Griffins still did a jerky move with that decision.
  • (Renaissance): Now let us move onto, dragons.
  • Smolder: (Quietly) Ugh! Me and my big mouth.
  • (Renaissance):... Dragons are a creation of a cousin of Prince Hypogean, Prince Volcaena. The Alicorn of Volcanoes. As an elementally-hardy species, dragons served the Alicorns of the Earth well and were granted flight by Aericolous. They were meant to be the guardians of earth and the wealth it provided, and prevent gems from being dried out from excess greed.... By making it their diet.
  • Spike: (Quietly) HOHOHO! That's SO cool!
  • Quartz: SSHHH!!
  • (Renaissance): Unfortunately... When the Alicorns went away, and without a master... Dragons would become exposed to the growing chaos and cruelty of the world around them, becoming attacked and struck with constant hardship... To evolve into an aggressive species with no concept on the magic of friendship.
  • Smolder:... (Quietly) Wow!
  • Quartz: (Quietly) That's gotta burn.
  • Clyde: (Quietly) Good thing I wasn't born here. Hah!
  • (Renaissance): Ponies and griffins have been rivals for a long time, and they never stopped.... Then a decision was made. Aericolous and Terricolous despised this rivalry. Thus they asked a favor from Volitia and Enchantra... A forbidden love that would result in a new generation. One that combined the might of the griffins and the magic of ponies. Though beginning generations of this new breed of creature would not be a pleasing sight... In time, interbreeding became... The Hippogriffs.
  • Silverstream: THAT'S US!!!
  • Everyone: SSSHHHHHH!!!
  • (Renaissance): These purebred Hippogriffs combined magic and strength well. Their souls would be granted the ability to manifest based on upbringing just like growing up. Thus each hippogriff would have a magical ability or gift of their own. This made them a grand warrior race in ancient times. But in ancient times... They were perfect to serve as guardians of the magic of friendship... Then when the Alicorn Gods vanished... These creatures had little to protect and little purpose for their own magic. Thus they devolved into an aggressive race... And quite possibly shifted temperaments with each passing generation because of their ancestral roots between the aggressive griffins and the pacifistic ponies.
  • Silverstream:... (Quietly)... That's... Really depressing. But... It... Makes sense. Take it from me. Aunt Novo and Aunt Corono had a similar... Clash of viewpoints, and leave it at that.
  • Kowalski: (With a neuralyzer) Leave it to a future episode, Silvy. (The neuralyzer flashed everyone)
  • (Renaissance):... Changelings are... An alien story to say the least. They were born as a gift from Consciencea to Hypogean. A race that could maintain the blessing of magic in the soil as pure creatures that can empower themselves with magic. They were meant to serve as the earliest form of a mycelium network. Flora's ability to spread the blessing across itself, and keep the magic in the ground beneath our hooves and feet, healthy and vibrant, by sharing the magic among each other. (Gaster looked at Ocellus with a loving blushing face until she saw and he looked away)... But... As with many other races, that changed when the Alicorn Gods vanished... Without a proper system... The Changelings... Well, changed. They became bleak as the upper beings used the blessing for more and thus the blessing drifted away from them and reduced them into... I don't even want to think of what.
  • Ocellus:... (Quietly) That's... So sad.
  • Caster: (Quietly) Hypogean's Mane!
  • Buster: (Quietly) Yikes. All this time... We were made to... Magically nurture the earth?
  • Ocellus: (Quietly) I believe so. (Rhabdom smiled, getting a bigger understanding for the Tree of Harmony than before)
  • (Renaissance): Yaks are another story.... You see... What you see as creatures that smash anything they see... Has an origin. They are a.... Quixotic entity. Messengers of the Alicorn of Hearth and Home, Queen Virginia. In troubled dark times, yaks would bring salvation and smash that which was already lost and rebuild it into something new. To bring the brighter side of change in a land of hardship. Though... They were not there to prevent the Windigoes from coming because, after the loss of the Alicorn Gods... Well... They just resorted to... Smashing everything to change as much as they could.
  • Yona:... (Quietly) Eeeeeehh. Yeah, that's definitely a tragedy.
  • (Renaissance):... Seaponies are a more beautiful story. The magic of friendship was more diverse and could do so much like a chemical reaction underwater. Maricolous discovered this on her first moments in life. She grew from this vibrance. She soon found a wish to share this with others. This is why most life can be found at sea, and so can many new and very colorful sea beings. But the seaponies, were the purest of these creations. They shared the magic of friendship through traditional migrations all over the world from her birthplace, the biggest ocean in the world, which would be named after her.... Unfortunately, when she vanished with the other Alicorn Gods... They became lost and couldn't spread the magic of friendship to the right places of the ocean. They became too widespread. And with that, overpopulation became a problem and... Well... I don't think I want to imagine what happened after that.
  • Shore: (Quietly) Me neither.
  • Wavelength: (Quietly) Pass.
  • Splash: (Quietly) Hard pass.
  • (Renaissance):... The Taraxippuses. Creatures that bring fear to other ponies.... But they weren't always this way. They were actually entities of good dreams created by Princess Phantasma. Creatures that manifested from the inner-conscious of the magic of friendship and offer great things. They inspire imagination and allowed progression... But when Woeus went rogue... He tainted these poor creatures into being entities of fear of the future and further hardship because he saw good dreams as needless escapes from reality. This especially got worse when the Chaos Wars ended. With no hope left, they became rampant with their power and frightened even more ponies. Wherever there was fear, there would always be a Taraxippus to feed off it.
  • Dipper:... (Quietly) Not helped by the Fear Wars, perhaps. Thanks a lot, Pitch!
  • (Renaissance): Perytons. Like the Pegasi, they were cousins of Earth deer created by Aericolous to bless sky life. But they were created by not just Aericolous. Like all other cervines in Cervinia, or was it Cervina? Ahem, like all other cervines, they were created by Princess Environa to serve as one of the earliest guardians of life. Back in the Alicorn Gods' time, life was more vibrant, and therefore it NEEDED guardianship. Cervines were the right breed of race for the job.... But... Since the Alicorn Gods vanished... Nature became less important to other races and the cervines, including the Perytons, lost their importance along with it. They grew spiteful to the world for it's disrespect to nature. They isolated themselves away into their own kingdoms, and run them to this day.
  • Skyceria:... (Quietly) Wow.... I, KINDA knew that already.
  • Smolder: (Quietly) KINDA knew that already?
  • Skyceria: (Quietly) Uh, yeah. Deer are OBSESSED with nature on this world, it's KINDA obvious. Now shush! And uh, remind me later to apologize to Promenade after this mess.
  • (Renaissance): But not all cervines were restricted to nature magic. One species was blessed by another Alicorn God. Queen Gratuity, the Alicorn of Giving, blessed the magic of friendship in giving in general. Reindeer, were already one of the most powerful in magic cervines. They were blessed by Gratuity to offer giving and generosity to those in need, especially in hard times.... But what makes these creatures different from yaks... They were not changed by the loss of the Alicorn Gods. They remained morally pure as the Second Wendigo Ice Age appeared. Races at first relied upon them for generosity and resources... Unfortunately, as time went on, they began to rely on themselves too often, and they thus ignored the reindeer in general... Until Hearth's Warming gave them purpose again.
  • Polarity: (Everyone looked at her, showing sorrow)... (Quietly) What?
  • Smolder:... (Quietly)... Poly... Sorry... Maybe, you would've helped us out of this mess. You ARE a Hearth's Reindeer-in-training after all.
  • Polarity: (Quietly) It's okay. Wouldn't be the first time anyway. Heeheehee.
  • (Renaissance): Then there is the final example of races born for a purpose by the Alicorn Gods. There is... The Gargoyles.
  • Snipeskale:... (Quietly) I'm listening.
  • (Renaissance): Ah, gargoyles. One of my finest creations.
  • Snipeskale: AAAAAAADNAJLAKLFNUKWALDICHKUKA!!!!... YOU CREATED US?!?
  • Everyone: SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • (Deadpool): "Well that was the most random retcon in this series yet- (Discord smacked him off) AYE?!"
  • (Renaissance): Art and monuments needed their guardians too. When relics were inside stone walls, there had to exist a secret new type of creature to guard them as secret eyes. Hence my creation. Creatures that patrolled the night when things were at their most vulnerable. No easy sight in the dark. No defenses come that easily. Things could not be safe forever in the night. Therefore a creature from the most unlikely of places had to be created. That's where the gargoyles came in. In fact, Gargoyles existed in Alicornia. These were the strongest. Blessed with the magic of friendship. Unfortunately, while they still remain strong in Alicornia today, wherever it is, I have forgotten, when the Alicorn Gods were lost, along with their relics... Things went downhill for these creatures. When relics went missing, they had no purpose and became their own race... Many went through hardships with the other races in the world, and many of them even forgot their true purpose to be guardians of vulnerable treasures that could bring great harm the next day. This is why they are seldom seen this day.
  • Snipeskale:... (Quietly) That stinks.
  • Gallus: "(Quietly) Learn alot of crazy new things from this."
  • (Renaissance): The Alicorn Gods commanded the chaos around them for eons to come... Until soon... The chaos came back for revenge, in their first taste of otherworldly dangers. This would become the Draconequui. This, is where our story begins... (They all began to see magical astral images of the Alicorn Gods)
  • Discord:... (Quietly) Well, at least everypony here has enough popcorn thanks to me. Let's see what happened....

Later...

  • (Lord Chaos): HAH! You think this was ME?! I WISH I could take credit for this, but I cannot.
  • Death Coffin: (Quietly) I'm pretty sure we talked in Old Ponish back then.
  • Pinkie: (Quietly) Not all of us can now.
  • Spike: (Quietly) Yeah, things have changed a lot, obviously.
  • (Lord Chaos): Let me assure you, this chaos is from another world. Therefore, the magic of friendship will be no match for these 'Draconequui'. That Tyranny person is going to destroy us all.
  • (Queen Philosophius): We never asked for YOUR help. We just came to ask questions.
  • (Lady Victoria): INDEED! We'd never trust YOU if you were the LAST expert of chaos IN THE WORLD!
  • (Lord Chaos): I, KINDA, AM CHAOS!
  • (Lady Victoria): Not anymore. Personally, you will be forgotten after all this, and that will put a great smile on my face.

Later...

  • (Princess Volitia): YOUR GRACE, TYRANNY'S FORCES ARE KILLING US OUT THERE! I mean, not really, but, it's close.
  • Death Coffin: (Quietly) Okay, that is NOT what she said!
  • Pinkie: (Quietly) It's a modern depiction. This play's gotta speak the language of modern times.
  • Death Coffin:... (Quietly) Sometimes this really frustrates me. So much for authenticity.
  • Discord: "(Quietly) Oh be glad that at least it's right on the money for historic accuracy."
  • Death Coffin: "(Quietly) Alcourse, mostly cause of me, but I feel like Staged Ham overlooked that some of his writers snuck in some artistic liberties with dialog."
  • Discord: (Quietly) Not all of us know about your ancient customs, old-timer. You want the people of modern times to understand you? Speak in THEIR language, bro.
  • Death Coffin:... (Quietly) I'm not your brother.
  • Discord: (Quietly) Yeah, duh, because THAT'S our language. I thought you knew that by now.

Later...

  • Draconequus #1: Sir, the Alicorns are getting stronger!
  • Tyranny: Impossible. Their native magic cannot match that of our creators.
  • Draconequus #2: Sir, they've been adapting to our chaos. I think... I think they had a chaos entity of their own.
  • Tyranny: Please. That Lord Chaos wackjob is nothing. (The two were shocked)... What?
  • Discord:... (Quietly) Ohhhh, snap.
  • Draconqeuus #2:... All this time... YOU KNEW THEY HAD A CHAOS GOD?!
  • Tyranny: Uh, yeah. I thought YOU did. Besides, their chaos is weak compared to OURS, AND they don't trust him one bit. He's been long imprisoned with his order-obsessed brother.
  • Draconequus #1: And yet, we lost so many of our people, because YOU UNDERESTIMATED THEIR UNDERSTANDING AND CAPABILITIES?!
  • Tyranny: LISTEN HERE, COMMANDERS! WE, WERE BORN TO DO THIS JOB, BUT WE DO IT NOT IN CHERNABOG'S NAME! THE CARTOONIAN WAR IS NOTHING COMPARED TO OUR OWN! THIS IS OUR WORLD, AND I PROMISED YOU, WE'LL GET WHAT WE DESERVE! This is WAR! And in war, PEOPLE GET HURT, NO MATTER HOW IMMORTAL!
  • Draconequus #2: SIR! Wake up, and look at what's happened! We're losing too many of our kind!
  • Tyranny: WE CAN MAKE MORE! WE WERE BORN TO BE CHAOS!
  • Draconequus #1: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY'LL STOP THAT FROM HAPPENING?!
  • Tyranny: I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH! You want this world to be yours? THEN YOU BETTER DO WHAT I SAY! THEIR PRECIOUS MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP CANNOT DESTROY TYRANNY, so our conquest STAYS as it is! You all must simply, GET BETTER, and SHOW NO MERCY! YOU BOTH ARE TO ORGANIZE OUR FINEST TROOPS TO ALICORNIA! IT IS TIME TO END THIS THREAT ONCE AND FOR ALL!
  • Draconequus #2:... But, sir-
  • Tyranny: NOW!!! (They left abruptly)
  • Discord:... (Quietly) Ohohoho. BIG mistake.
  • Everyone: SHHHHHHH!!
  • Discord: (Quietly) HOW MUCH QUIETER DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE?!?

Later...

  • Chancellor Diplomacy: (Sighs)... Everyone?... This HAS to stop. Our invasion in Alicornia is GOING to fail, and we WILL lose!
  • Discord: (Quietly) HEEEEEYYYY, It's my loadsa great granddaddy.
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: As Chancellor of Draconequua, I cannot stand idly by and let that STUBBORN Tyranny be the DEATH of us! If we go out there, we'll DIE, and it'll be HIS fault!
  • Draconequus Senator: But what do you want us to do about it? We can't speak out against Tyranny!
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: THAT, is why what we are deciding here and now, he will, NEVER, KNOW!
  • Draconequus Senator #2: What do you mean, Chancellor?
  • Chancellor Diplomacy:... I mean... It's time we STOPPED this war. We're fighting a lost cause now. Those Alicorns are too strong for us. We must incite, a peace treaty.
  • Draconequus Senator #3: But, but we can't do that without Tyranny's permission!
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: Which is why, as of right now, our race is under martial law!
  • Draconequus Senator #1:... Chancellor... You know that if we do this... We'll risk going into court martial. Tyranny is stronger than our ENTIRE RACE COMBINED! We'll only have ONE SHOT AT THIS! If we fail, we'll all die!
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: Which is why this has to happen, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! We MUST do this, for the good of our people! This war, MUST end, one way or another!
  • Smolder: "(Quietly) This is, getting tense now."
  • Shore: (Quietly) Yeah, I... (She hugged Sandbar) I'm scared.
  • Sandbar: (Quietly) It'll be okay, Shore, it's just the past, and I'm sure it's a happy ending. On... A certain level.

Later...

  • Chancellor Diplomacy: (He teleported to the gates of Alicornia) Alright, everyone... Let's do this. It's now or never. (The gold Alicornia gargoyles showed up and aimed their magic weapons) WAIT! DON'T!! Take, take us to your leader. We, we have a proposition.

Later...

  • Chancellor Diplomacy: (As they were all in Queen Philosophia's presence) DON'T KILL US! (Cries) (The audience laughed)
  • Discord:... (To Death Coffin quietly) Is that a poetic license change?
  • Death Coffin: (Quietly) No, that actually happened... In Old Ponish, anyway.
  • Discord:...
  • Clyde: (Scoffed to himself, quietly) You must feel SO embarrassed to be related to HIM right now.
  • Death Coffin: "(Quietly) To be fair, at this point the Alicorns were basicly on auto-pilot in going after the Draconequui. War does that to even gods."
  • Philosophia:... (Lauren Faust voice) This doesn't make any sense.
  • Temperanus: (Craig McCracken voice) What doesn't?
  • Philosophia:... Why would Tyranny send you all here? Surely he knew this was a war he couldn't fight anymore. Are you all the last Draconequui left?
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: Yes, your majesty. We did not come because Tyranny told us to... Well, he did, but he wanted us to kill you all.
  • Lady Victoria: WHAT?!? WHAT KIND OF STRATEGY IS THAT?!? DID HE KNOW WE'D KILL YOU ALL IN AN INSTANT WITH THAT... Project we've been working on?
  • Chancellor Diplomacy: Which is WHY we need your help, IMMEDIATELY! We NEED to sign a peace treaty, NOW! Tyranny's going to be catching on, and we NEED to cease this bloodshed before we all go extinct from a lost cause! Tyranny is going to be THE DEATH OF US, AND AGAIN, WE, NEED, YOUR HELP! JUST LOOK AT US! (They all saw the starving, suffering, and crying members of their species, and some of the Alicorns were hurt for them)... This war is TEARING THEM APART, and they need a BETTER future! This cause is no longer WORTH IT! Tyranny wants us all to kill you, but we can't!... Queen Philosophius... Or, is it, Philosophia?
  • Philosophia: I've been addressed both ways, actually. But... I... I honestly don't know what to say.
  • Lady Victoria: I don't know. This must be some kind of trick.
  • Philosophia: No, Victoria. They speak the truth. You can sense it yourself, can't you?
  • Lady Victoria:...... Oh my gosh... They AREN'T lying!
  • Temperanus:... Philosophia? What do we do?
  • Philosophia:... We must sign this peace treaty. We can't kill them right now since they don't wish to fight the inevitable. Tyranny has become the true enemy to BOTH of us, so we must save them. Everypony? You know what to do. (They all saluted and they signed the peace treaty as quickly as possible)
  • Shore:... (Quietly) Whew!

Later...

  • Tyranny: TRAITORS!!! (A chaotic storm occurred all over Alicornia)
  • Philosophia: Don't you dare scold them, they did the right thing.
  • Lady Victoria: Exactly! You have essentially sentenced them to DEATH!
  • Tyranny: Those who have fallen have come back STRONGER!
  • Lady Victoria: That's NOT the point! What if we stopped the source of that?
  • Philosophia: This war, is OVER, Tyranny! You are on your own!
  • Tyranny:... Fine! I don't NEED these traitors! I CAN DO THIS, MYSELF!!! (The audience was horrified at what he did next. His entire race was put into slavery while lands were being destroyed in an inferno of fire as he began killing more and more, with his chaos even effecting the mortal races all over Equestria)
  • Shore:... (She cried in Sandbar's arms)
  • Sandbar: (Quietly) I, Renaissance, this is a bit much!
  • (Renaissance): Well, what did you expect in a play like this, sunshine and rainbows?
  • Sandbar: (Quietly) No! But we expected it to be... LESS gruesome!

Later...

  • Philosophia:... Everypony? The time has come. Tyranny has caused severe misery and suffering across the land. Even we, with all our combined power, cannot stand up to him!
  • Enchantra: So, what... We failed? There's nothing we can do?
  • Philosophia:... (Sighs)... I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but... Victoria? Is that project still available?
  • Victoria:... Yes.
  • Serendipity: Your grace?
  • Philosophia: Everypony?... The magic of friendship is no match for the full power of Tyranny. The Draconequui need our help. They are being punished for trying to save themselves, and I cannot abide by that. I can't stand idly by watching them suffer. All we have done so far has proved futile.... So... That's why I have been working on a last resort that can... Bring us back to our... Primordial power. The power of which we were spawned from. The magic of friendship alone is not enough. Tyranny was right. Friendship and harmony cannot stand up to him... But there is only ONE kind of magic that rises above friendship and harmony, and can stand a match against Tyranny... That is peace. So this is what this project aims to achieve. Everypony... These are... The Elements of Peace. Imagination, Tolerance, Intelligence, Forgiveness, Passion, and Innocence. All these elements are what make up the fundamentals of peace. Imagination, the ability to find ways to achieve peace at it's most mortally and immortally-possible definition. Tolerance, the backbone of peace via harmony among races. Intelligence, the ability to know how to achieve your dreams and peace itself. Forgiveness, the ability to understand the follies of your enemies and see a greater side to them. Passion, which is one's ability to stride for what they desire, their drive to achieve peace. And finally, Innocence, the seemingly-nonexistent quality that all races nevertheless have. Including the Draconequui. We must all wield each Element, in a certain group, to make them all work... Unfortunately... There's a crucial catch... When we use these... We cannot exist any longer.
  • Gleea: What?
  • Philosophia: We were born from the magic of FRIENDSHIP, NOT the magic of PEACE.
  • Gleea: I always assumed they were the same thing. Like, friendship was a pet name for peace.
  • Philosophia: I assure you, the differences in definition are there. Peace is not so easily achievable. There's no such thing as world peace, and that is why the magic of peace is not easily achievable. But with this? We may have the solution to bring it to life... But it requires the right amount of magic to do so.
  • Mammon:... Philosophia, this is INSANE! If using these Elements means we cease to exist, then... THEN WHO'S GOING TO USE THEM AGAIN IF TYRANNY SHOULD EVER RETURN?!?
  • Philosophia: I have actually worked that out. Like I said, the magic of peace hardly exists. Peace can never last forever. But the Elements of Peace can awaken it for those who want it more than anything. Once we use it, it will be enough for it to work with much little effort for a future generation.
  • Venery:... But... Who's going to-
  • Maricolous: Venery?... I think it'll be up to our creations to continue where we left off. We've done so much for them, it's their turn to give back for us.
  • Meteora: Are, are you sure?! Mortals aren't exactly LIKE us!
  • Philosophia: No, they're not... But that's okay. They'll take GOOD care of this world long after we're gone. Our time had to come sooner or later. We may be gods, but even GODS can be killed with the right weapon.... Everypony, I'm telling you this, because I trust you. You've all been by my side for as long as time has turned.
  • Paradoxxus: You're welcome.
  • Philosophia: So, this is the last option we have. If Tyranny can't be stopped with our own power, then there's only one thing we can do. We must call upon something STRONGER than harmony or friendship.
  • Luceen:... But... Your grace?... What about our children? Need I remind you that, Nightus and Heavenslight are still just fillies? They won't last on their own!
  • Philosophia:... Yes they will.
  • Asterella: HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?
  • Philosophia: Because that's how the FIRST Alicorns started. INCLUDING ME AND TEMPERANUS! We were born from the magic of friendship itself and we had the gift of immortality and the magic itself as our guardians. Those two will no doubt make it together. In fact, I can sense that they have such a strong connection... They'll make a new generation on their own. Admit it, look at those two, and tell me you don't see them being in love.
  • Starby:... Yeah... They get along so well it's almost like they'll be in love.
  • Philosophia: But you don't have to take MY word for it. Just ask Paradoxxus. HE can see the future.
  • Solaro: Nonono! We don't need to know the future. Your grace, I... We're with you. But... We have to prepare those two for what they may face in the future. We won't be there for them. This plan... It's insane, but... But I see no other way we can defeat Tyranny. Everything else we've thrown at him has done NOTHING!
  • Victoria:... Then what do you all say? Are you in, or out?
  • Virginia:... I cannot prolong the mortals' suffering nor the Draconequuis' any longer.... I'm in.
  • Gleea: Me too. I want those mortals to find their OWN joy.
  • Environa: I want them to see how important nature is as they are nature themselves.
  • Terricolous: I want ALL of our creations to finish where we left off, and respect how we have sacrificed ourselves for their own salvation.
  • Paradoxxus: And should we return for a final judgment day... I wish to thank them for how far they'll go. I would want to see what kind of future they'll make in our name.
  • Maricolous: I want more than anything for the sea to flourish.
  • Chromestica:... Everypony?... What if these races will be lost without us?
  • Philosophia: That cannot be helped. WE started out in dark times. The world MUST be reborn. We MUST save the world one last time, or Tyranny will destroy it all. (All the Alicorns hesitantly joined hooves and began to charge the Elements of Peace)... Then I trust we're all in this together?
  • Elixia:... We guarded this world... Until the very end.
  • Volitia: We've had our golden days, but it's unavoidable that all good things must come to an end, no matter how immortal.
  • Philosophia:... (She sobbed to herself along with some of the Alicorns, and then it soon moved onto the rest of them, and then the audience, including the heroes)
  • Smolder was shedding tears too.
  • Smolder: "(Quietly) If anyone asks, I have dust in my eyes, but, I'll go out on a limb here and say this is sad as nuts. Even then, we dragons are made of tough stuff, so, this isn't me crying."
  • Gallus: "(Quietly, shedding some tears too) Smold, ya don't have to act tough here, this is getting to me too."
  • Squidward: "(Quietly) Also, I checked, they didn't secretly put bowls of onions next to us, much less me. This is actually getting to me too!"
  • Twilight: (Sobbed a bit quietly) I... I can feel their sadness too. This was their last moment together and they were going to die giving birth to a new generation. They were going to sacrifice themselves, to stop Tyranny. I never knew it was THIS tragic.
  • Merlin: (Quietly) When you have an expiration date, it can develop into emotion. Also, magic itself is tied to emotion. These beings were no different.
  • Nightus:... (Quietly) I... I had no idea this was how they felt. They knew we were going to be alone for this, and that's why our parents said they were going to leave, and that we had to take care of each other.
  • Heavenslight:... (Quietly) And they were right. We had such a strong bond, and such a strong will to live.... (The two hugged)

Later...

  • Tyranny: This is SO pathetic. You all MUST realize by now that you cannot defeat me.
  • Philosophia: Oh, trust me, we HAVE! That's why we've ascended to, DRASTIC measures! (The Alicorn Gods united and began to charge up the Elements of Peace)
  • Tyranny:... Oh hum. A bunch of fancy trinkets? AGAIN? How many times have you done THAT silly tactic?
  • Philosophia: These aren't just ANY fancy trinkets. Each of these trinkets ascend the magic of friendship, into the magic of peace.
  • Tyranny: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! There's NO such thing as peace! It ALWAYS dies. If there WAS such a thing as peace, then CHANGE itself wouldn't exist.
  • Philosophia: No... But peace DOES exist in another way. TRUE peace comes from, Innocence... (The Alicorn Gods that wielded Innocence glowed brightly) Passion... (The Alicorns that wielded Passion glowed) Forgiveness... (The Alicorn Gods that wielded Forgiveness glowed) Intelligence... (The Alicorns who wielded Intelligence glowed) Tolerance... (The Alicorn Gods that wielded Tolerance glowed)... And above all... Imagination! (She and the other Alicorns who wielded Imagination glowed brighter than the others)
  • Tyranny:... HAH! I can see this coming a MILE away. You horseys were born from the magic of FRIENDSHIP, AND HARMONY! You can't wield those things without destroying yourselves in the process! If you do this to me, you'll kill YOURSELVES! To ascend to such a level would mean you can't exist just as well as peace can't.
  • Philosophia: We are WILLING to make that sacrifice. You have RUINED this world, so it MUST be reborn, WITHOUT us!
  • Tyranny: PFFFFHAHAHAHAH!!! This, is SO hysterical! What kind of world like this can exist without Gods? It'll STILL be in chaos. You can't expect pushover mortals to do your jobs FOR you! The bounds between a mortal and a god are TOO GREAT!
  • Philosophia: You lack faith, Tyranny. These mortals may be different, but they have adapted well to your chaos. There's no question they'll adapt to the chaos of NO GODS to keep the world balanced. In the future, should you EVER return, they'll even manage to wield these Elements since our essence will lessen the capacity needed to wield them.
  • Tyranny: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! ALL THIS IS DOING IS GIVING ME A GOOD LAUGH! GO AHEAD, THEN! ZAP WITH WITH YOUR GLORIOUS 'ELEMENTS OF PEACE'. At least you'll all die and I'LL reign supreme. I'll stand, PERFECTLY still! No point in even dodging. I KNOW it'll never work. NOTHING you've done EVER worked.
  • Temperanus:... Oh, IT'LL WORK! YOU'LL SEE!
  • Tyranny: Ohho, I'm SHAKING! Just get it over with. I can't WAIT to see you go 'POOT' like it ALWAYS has.
  • Philosophia:... As you wish. (They all glowed and began to cease existing with nothing but their souls remaining, with all the magic composing them fully charging the Elements of Peace)
  • Tyranny:... Wha? (The Elements of Peace then created six giant Alicorn avatars and surrounded him)... WHAT IS THIS MAGIC?!? (The six Alicorn giants roared at him and charged up their magic)... This... This is impossible! THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS PEACE MAGIC! THIS, THIS IS JUST AN ILLUSION!!! (Their horns all charged up in rainbow magic)... No! NO! NOO!!! (They all fired upon him) NOOOOOOOOO!!! (He was soon cast off and imprisoned inside the deepest ices of the Frozen North and unable to escape as his eyes looked in shock, while in time, he would forever be concealed by more snow and ice, hidden away, all while the souls of the Alicorns were dispersed all over the world)...
  • (Renaissance): And that is how Tyranny's reign of terror was FINALLY ended... Unfortunately, the Alicorns were right. Without them, their creations had nothing left to guide them. All the races in Equestria began to care only about themselves, and racial tension grew. And with that there came, the Second Windigo Ice Age. Each race had to suffer hardships and thus rely on their own welfare. And as this went on, they only made the Windigos stronger.
  • Little Dipper: "(Quietly) My what a relatable depressing drop."
  • (Deadpool): Hey, uh, excuse me, Ren... Can I call you that? I hate to interrupt, but I think all the ponies here know about the Windigo Age, 'cause it created the first Hearth's Warming, so- (He's magically given the theater hook) ACCKKK!
  • (Discord): Sorry about that, Renaissance. Please continue. Cause I think it might be the closest Clover is gonna get in her "Authentic" Hearth's Warming Play.
  • (Renaissance): Uh... okay... As I was saying....... Well... While the ponies would have their own way to found Hearth's Warming and leave to found Equestria... The other races, they weren't so lucky. All that I said happened to them after the loss of the Alicorn Gods, were... Pretty damaging. It was not a good time, but all it does is prove that all races want the same thing: to survive in this magically-unpredictable world. Some may not get along, and for good reason, but they were all created for a purpose. They have to help keep the world they live in safe as it is what the Alicorn Gods sacrificed themselves to do for us.
  • Smolder felt inspired by this and started to feel abit more appresiative of the school's aims, as are the other students.
  • Twilight: (Quietly) I know that face, Smolder. You now see a greater appreciation for what I'm trying to do. The Alicorn Gods created us for great things, but when they were lost, and the magic of friendship briefly went with them, we all lost our way. That's why the magic of friendship needs somecreature new to bring them in harmony. There may not be such a thing as world peace... But that doesn't mean peace itself shouldn't be ignored. It may not last forever, but it doesn't matter. Whatever we face next, it'll be worth fighting. Everycreature, I created the School of Friendship not just because of the Storm King and the incident with Novo. It's because when me and my friends went outside Equestria to search for help in beating the Storm King... I saw how broken the world was. Creatures everywhere have lost their way. They didn't know what to do, and they can even make mistakes. I want to spread the magic of friendship all over the world, because I had a feeling that's what the Alicorn Gods would've wanted.
  • Icky: (Quietly) Wow, Renaissance is waiting patiently for her to finish her speech.... And so is the audience for that matter. I think they can hear Twi's speech.
  • Gazelle: (Quietly) Let them. Some of them might want to know they got the students all wrong.
  • Twilight: (She suddenly started talking less quietly) The Alicorn Gods sacrificed themselves to save us all from Tyranny, KNOWING we'd all end up in bad times. But they took that chance, because that's how THEY started. They were willing to help save their own enemies when they realized that they couldn't fight a battle that would cause their deaths. They find forgiveness in even otherworldly threats like the Draconequui. Now look where Tyranny is even. When he was indeed free again, he was not Tyranny any longer. He found love, and he became pure as Benevolence. That alone proves that the magic of friendship can prosper, and the magic of peace truly does exist. This is what I wish. I wish for all races to understand that the magic of friendship can exist everywhere, just like when I introduced it to Human Equestria. We can give the Alicorn Gods hope that we can give them what they wanted from us. They saved us from Tyranny, and we in turn helped rehabilitate HIM, which nopony would even THINK was possible. We must return the favor, and restore the power friendship can offer. If we all unite as one with the magic of friendship... We could do ANYTHING!
  • Death Coffin:... Well said, your highness. I was a fool to try and bring the Alicorn Gods back. It was clear even before you defeated me that they didn't want to return. They wanted their creations to prosper without us. And they have. Though we races look different, act different, and don't see eye-to-eye, in the end, we have a singular goal: to make the world a better place. The magic of friendship created the world we know thanks to Philosophia. But even though Alicorn Gods still live among us, it's as much as we need. Nightus and Heavenslight lived the life their parents wanted them to, and they helped guide Equestria into a great land. But after the Storm King, and after today... It's time that the School of Friendship to step up. The students just need to take the first step. You may not like what'll come next, but that's okay. Change is natural. The part that makes people grow. And it starts, when we decide.
  • Smolder:... Well... I can't believe I'm saying it, but... I am going to make sure that no other EEA member tells us that we're fighting a lost cause. THIS is no lost cause. We SAW what a REAL lost cause is. But THIS?
  • Phoebe: Your highness, we're with you and your cause every step of the way. We're still gonna be annoyed of the E.E.A. giving us sh-..... Poop, but ya know what? Let them!
  • Clyde: "Yeah! We'll just get over the next guy that gives us problems too! Espeically if they're Neighsay for the UPTEENTH time in the row!"
  • Twilight: That's the spirit!
  • (Everyone): SHHHHHHHHH!
  • Twilight: "..... (Quietly) That's the spirit!"
  • Icky: (Quietly) And the audience is done listening to her.
  • Iago: (Quietly) Must've gotten bored when the point was already across.
  • (Renaissance): Ahem. Now that these races are prospering well, that proves the Alicorn Gods made a good choice. Some still have issues, but that is why the Convocation of Creatures occurs. It ensures harmony among races, and prevents anymore damaging race wars. This is why, though the Alicorn Gods may be gone, but they only exist as souls, so that they can see what their sacrifice has given. To see how the world has prospered without them. (He manifested himself)... And as for me?... I am proud of what you ponies have made of yourselves. Admittedly, I'm not proud of what you did to my gargoyle creations, but that was during a time of despair. At least they have a better life, just like I wanted.... I wish you all a fruitful and gracious life.... And, SCENE! (The magic faded away and went back into the relic, as everyone applauded)
  • Staged Ham:... THAT, WAS, AMAZING!!!! THAT, IS A REAL PLAY!!! MAGNIFICENT!!! EXTRAORDINARY!!! SPECTACULAR!! EVERY OTHER SYNONYM FOR AMAZING I LEFT OUT!!!! And it's good too.
  • Death Coffin: "Well, apart from my minor nitpicks that the writers obviously took liberties with the dialogue, I dare say that otherwise this is the best play I seen in eons."
  • Staged Ham: "Yeah, I admit the dialogue couldn't be helped, a lot of my writers were very, picky, about using the authentic Old Ponish speak. They won me over about how Old Ponish is, a very fish out of water language in modern times. They cautioned that it may as well be like having a movie set in ancient times use the actual language of the period and it doesn't come with subtitles."
  • Death Coffin: "And as before, a minor nitpick. This is still a magnificent play."
  • Staged Ham: Hey, how much do you want to bet that I'll be asked to give autographs before they--
  • ???: Oh my gosh! Are you Staged Ham? (He sees a group of mares)
  • Staged Ham: Uh... Yes? (He suddenly got pounced by the mares who screamed like fangirls!) D'OWA?!
  • Fan Mare 1: "I GOT HIS DIRECTOR'S HAT THING?!"
  • Fan Mare 2: "DIPS ON HIS PERSONAL DIRECTOR'S SCRIPT?!"
  • Fan Mare 3: "I GOT A STRAIN OF HAIR WHERE I CAN MAKE A CLONE ARMY OF STAGED HAMS WITH?! (Every stares at her)..... I'm from a science family, don't judge!!"
  • Icky: "..... I think autographs are at the least of these ponies' minds. They just want every part of you!"
  • Time Crunch: "Let me handle this. (Gets stern) ALRIGHT LADIES, COOL YOUR FANHOODS?! IF YOU'RE GONNA INTERACT WITH STAGED HAM, DO IT WITH RESPECT?! (Starts breaking up the Mare Mob) BREAK IT UP LADIES, BREAK IT UP?!"
  • Discord:... And that made how boring the play got in certain areas worth it. Especially on how they made Diplonacy to look like a wimp, accuracy aside.
  • Death Coffin: "With you, your opinion can be taken at face value since a lot of things easily bore you, agent of chaos."
  • Discord: "Ehhh, fair point."

Later...

  • Smolder:... Well, I have to say... That was better than I expected.
  • Shore: See, Smold? Anything can be exciting if you give it a-
  • Smolder: Don't push it! It only got to me because Twilight brought us there for a reason. We NEEDED to be reminded of our place before we tore each other apart. Oh, and uh, Sky?
  • Skyceria: Yeah?
  • Smolder: Don't forget to apologize to Promenade.
  • Skyceria:... Thanks, Smolder. That's a good friend. Though even if the apology goes off without a hitch, I'm not sure if I am able to connect better with Promenade overnight.
  • Smolder: "Yeah, it's not gonna be done and over with. Obviously Promenade is still gonna be, herself, and sure, an apology will be in the step at the right direction, it'll still be time before she gets her head out of-..... The clouds. But with enough push, I can bet ya you'll achieve a great connection with your sister."
  • Gallus: "And who knows? Maybe Professor Buzzord would even get an invention that DOESN'T blow up spectacularly, literally or otherwise."
  • Starlight: "Which, reminds me. I wonder how the other staff have been up to-"
  • Suddenly, everyone saw that the school was on it's own mini moon that is flouting across the area......
  • Euri's voice: "Aw gees, Buzz, I take ONE power nap and you managed to create a miniature moon for the school?! That's..... Okay, that is creative and honestly less dangerous then the sun thing, BUT SPARKLE'S GONNA FLIP AT THIS?!"
  • Buzzord's voice: "I'M SORRY, IT CAME TO ME IN A DREAM?!"
  • Barktrot's voice: "WELL FOR THAT, I MAY HAVE TO CONSIDER PUTTING YOU UNDER AN ANTI-DREAM SPELL SO THEN YOU DON'T GET HAPHAZARDLY INSPIRED LIKE THIS!!"
  • Twilight: "...... Ughhhhh....... I, REALLY, need to get Buzzord a more proactive assistant!"
  • Pinkie: "Oh that Professor Buzzord, he's a riot!"
  • Twilight: Yeah, that's what Celestia said before this whole- OH, S*** I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING! Celestia was going to try and get in contact with Taiku and see if he can recruit another science teacher for the school!
  • Rainbow Dash: Oh, yeah. I almost forget HE existed.
  • Twilight: Hardy harhar. (Sighs) But I doubt he'd want to help with that. He's probably too busy, hence WHY he isn't around much.
  • Rainbow Dash: Still, since Tman isn't around anymore, it would be nice to do Taik some justice.
  • Rarity: "Well I'm sure it can be something for you to test out later, cause, I think we may need to help out our school being stuck on a mini moon now before it goes into our world's orbit."
  • Twilight: "Yeah good call, Rarity. It'll take a WHILE. Lodgers should be out doing their own thing after this, and... Well... It should actually be peaceful for a while."
  • Applejack: Doubt it'll last THAT long!
  • Pinkie: Have faith, AJ! Cause I feel like the next following episodes are gonna be flashback adventures.
  • Applejack: "...... I'll, just agree to disagree here."

Epilogue

Elsewhere....

  • In an underground kingdom, Molemen appeared before a Storm King-like Figure.....
  • Moleman 1: "...... Oh feared ruler of all things undergrowth..... After years of research, we finally, perfected it...... (Brings out a pair of sunglasses)..... We, made eyewear that protects from the sun!"
  • Unknown Fat Storm-King Satyr:... Excellent. I mean, you could've just ASKED me to make a quick spell for that.
  • Moleman 2: Well, you could've ALSO conjured up some sunglasses.
  • Unknown Fat Storm-King Satyr: Uh, my magic is not THAT random..... Admittingly though, why did it took you so long to make these?
  • Molemen 3: "Well OBVIOUSLY it's because we don't usually make plans to go to the surface outside of night-time voyages."
  • UFSKS: "Okay fine, fair point! But now that I DO got something, I can FINALLY be able to go after the Changeling Hive that ahs evaded me for so long, espeically after the Malworf actually ran into them a few years back and why I ordered these glasses being made."
  • Moleman 2: You mean you DON'T have a spell to make us used to the sun?
  • UFSKS: Of COURSE not! Otherwise, I would've used it already. I don't know EVERY SINGLE SPELL IN THE INFINITE BOOK HERE! We have GOT to get to that hive! Now that those Changelings have been reformed, just like Destiny's hive, I fear that TWO pure Changeling hives will be a dire threat to EVERYTHING I've founded.
  • Moleman 1: Yeah, you keep saying that.
  • UFSKS: That's because it's TRUE, and I want to avoid the tragic truth of having incompetent lackeys.
  • Moleman 1: HEY, WE AREN'T INCOMPETENT!!!
  • Moleman 3: YEAH! WE CAN DO THIS! (He did something off-camera as everyone else was disgusted with cartoonishly engorged eyes)
  • Moleman 2: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEWWWWWWWW!!! I... I... I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT COULD BEND THAT WAY, MUCH LESS EVEN DO THAT!!!
  • Moleman 1: (Dubbed as Max Rabbit) I think I should put on some clothes now.
  • UFSKS:... Okay, there's no unseeing THAT! But hey, maybe disturbing things are a good weapon.
  • Moleman 1: PLEASE don't give him any ideas, sir!
  • UFSKS: You're right, even for me, that's undignified. Ahem. Just, do what you can to get all the info that can be gathered. With the Malworf gone, we're free to do so.
  • All Molemen: YES SIR! (They dug off)
  • UFSKS:... Soon, young brother, your death shall be avenged, and father will soon be in peace. And THIS time, NO, foul-ups!

Fin?.....

(Deadpool): "Aw man, a super anticipating upcoming major baddie challenge for the School of Friendship is coming up and the following intermediate episodes are flashbacks?! The suspense is killing me?! Also not helping that this comes off as I feel like we're in another MLP-SAF episode marathon with nothing inbetween?!"

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