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Icky and Iago: Birdbrains of the West
Season 1, Episode S1E7
Icky and Iago Birdbrains of the West
Release date August 3, 2012
Written by Scroopfan and MSM
Directed by Scroopfan/MSM
Episode guide
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Hypnotrounced
Icky and Iago: Birdbrains of the West is the 7th episode of the SpongeBob and Friends Chronicles series. Iago and Icky take a vacation away from the louge to bond as bird buddies. However, they end up in an old west town named Dodge City that has lost access to all of it's water for an unknown reason. But they soon have to deal with an outlaw scorpion named Dead-Eye Monroe, and his possie, the Turkey-Neck Vulture Bros, who is said to have something to do with the disappearance of Dodge City's water. So, Iago and Icky, with the help of the town's Gila Monster sheriff, Sheriff Garrot, must find a way to get Dodge City's water back.

Fan-made Transcript

Chapter 1- Vacationing Time

  • Icky: Doritos?
  • Iago: Check.
  • Icky: Other snacks?
  • Iago: Check.
  • Icky: Full permission to take the van for a vacation?
  • Iago: Checkamoondo.
  • Icky: Map? Compass? GPS? Bloodhound?
  • Iago: Check, check, checkity, check.
  • Icky: Giant Rusty anchor?
  • Iago: (Gasps), Anchor, Anchor, I DIDN'T PACK A GIANT RUSTY ANCHOR?!
  • Icky: HAH! That joke never gets old! (Breathes in) Ahh!
  • Iago: Oh, really funny, Icky, it's to laugh. NOT! Okay, let's just get ready for our vacation.
  • Icky: But where are we going?
  • Iago: To Planet Paradisa. That's the best vacationing place in the entire UUniverses. It's got many theme parks, restauraunts with food at a cheap price, sunny beaches, and even a disco ball.
  • Icky: WOW! I can hardly wait! And everything there is at a cheap price?
  • Iago: Exactly!
  • Icky: YEAH! (Jumps in the air cheering, and suddenly freezes in the middle of the air)...
  • Iago: Icky, how the heck are you doing that?
  • Icky: I have no idea! I think I'm somehow defying the laws of gravity.
  • Iago: Well, how?
  • Icky: I told you, I don't know.
  • Kowalski: Oh, boy, are you frozen in the air again?
  • Icky: Yeah! How is this happening?
  • Kowalski: (Scoffs) It's simple! You see, it's caused by--

Garage

  • Icky: Wow, was Kolwalski both informive, and yet, a tad boring.
  • Iago: Hey, at least your gravity is fixed.
  • Icky: Yeah, interesting extreme boredom fixes gravity issues. Anywho, bring out, the keys. (Iago holds up keys)
  • Iago: Got the keys.
  • Icky: Now, to the best time we ever ha-
  • Lord Shen: HOLD IT! I want to go through a few safety rules and restrictions so the van won't come back a wreak. Especially after last time.

Past

  • Lord Shen: PREHISTORIC ONE! (The van is totalled)
  • Icky: IAGO'S FAULT!

Present

  • Icky: In my defense, that flying saucer came out of nowhere.
  • Lord Shen: Nice try, Icky! You know the Grox is just an alien race from a silly computer game. We know the real reason is that you two fought over the wheel.
  • Icky: I'm telling the truth!
  • Lord Shen: Now, Icky, don't make me wanna bring Tigress in here!
  • Icky: (Shrugs) Fine!
  • Lord Shen: Now then, as I was saying: Rule Number 1. No fighting over the wheel. Rule Number 2. Stay in your seats buckled tightly. Rule 3. No arguing. And Rule Number 4. Absolutely, positively no random button pushing. And I'm coming with you to make sure you don't get into trouble!
  • Ignightus: I'm afraid not, Shen. This is THEIR alone time. I promised them they would get their alone time as friends, and no others are allowed to acompany them.
  • Icky: Yeah, and to be post modern, today's episode focus on me and Iago as the main guys, so tough luck, Whitey, you only have limited screen time.
  • Lord Shen: Oh, fudge! Very well, I won't mommy you on your long awaited time to be alone.... But, I am at least able to grant you each communicators to contact the others in case of any, unfortunately inevitable disaster.
  • Icky: Sheny, baby, I promise you that all this walkie talkie's gonna do is nothing but collect pocket lint all the time we relax. So you've got nothing to worry about.
  • Lord Shen: You don't even have pants on! You're one of the...clothing-opinional members of the team.
  • Icky: But you still have nothing to worry about.

Space

  • Icky: (Driving) Planet Paradisa, here we come! BOOM BABY, BOOM!
  • Iago: Uh, Icky, could you at least watch where you're going?
  • Icky: Oh, don't worry, Iago. We're in space. There's nothing that we can possibly hit.
  • Iago: You mean other than comets, asteroids, dwarf planets, or even into a planet's gravitational field?
  • Icky: Uh...yeah. Now, please, let's not get into an argument. I need to watch my wheel.
  • Iago: You mean 'boosters', right?
  • Icky: Yeah! Now, which way is Paradisa again?
  • GPS: At 70 miles, turn right , and prepare landing cycle.
  • Icky: Alright. We have 70 miles to go.
  • Iago: Why can't we just use the Hyperspeed Thrusters to get there faster?
  • Icky: Because if we still used it, we'd miss Paradisa in less than 20 seconds. So I recommend we stay low if we're gonna make it there.
  • Iago: Okay, then.

5 miles from Van's position...

  • Unknown Alien: Sir, our radars are detecting hostiles entering our sector.
  • Unknown Alien Commander: (On communique) It's those bird-like creatures we encountered 5 months ago! They're crossing into another one of our sectors! Blast them to hell!
  • Unknown Alien: Yes, sir! Right away, sir!

Outside....

  • A flying saucer with the word 'GROX' on it flies towards the van
  • Icky: (Radar on computers detect Grox saucer) Hold on a second! Our radar's picked up something.
  • Iago: (Shrugs) Did you enter Area 76593857294 again? You know that military sector is restricted.
  • Icky: No, you idiot! That sector is 28 lightyears away from our position. It's another ship...It's coming straight at us.
  • Iago: What?
  • Grox Pilot (from a transmiter on the Van's radio): Nobody enters our sectors on my watch! (Fires laser cannons at van)
  • Icky: AAAGH! What the heck was that?
  • Iago: It sounds like it was that ship you just picked up!
  • Icky: Well, what is it? Take a look out the window, and see.
  • Iago: (Looks out the window and sees the Grox flying saucer, and shrugs) It's the damn Grox again!
  • Icky: DAMN IT! Would it kill them to be nicer every once in a while instead of roaming around their territory killing people?
  • Iago: Can you just get the goddamn van out of here?!?
  • Icky: OKAY, OKAY, Geez, keep your feathers on! Activating Turbo-Thrusters! (Van goes at top speed)

Grox Ship

  • Grox Soldier: HAH! I can go faster than that! (Activates Turboturbo Thrusters, and takes off after the van)

Outside again.

  • Icky: What the heck? It's going faster than us? How is that even possible?
  • Iago: (Looking through binoculars) Uh, I think it's because that flying saucer has Turboturbo Thrusters.
  • Icky: WHAT?!? TURBOTURBO THRUSTERS?!? Those kinds of thrusters are illegal in 4 Universes.
  • Iago: Well, you know how the Grox are. They have no laws.
  • Icky: DAMN IT, you're right! What're we gonna do?

Grox Ship, again.

  • Grox Soldier: Suck on THIS, hostile bastards! (Fires laser cannons at Van's thrusters, and van spins out of control)

Outside again.

  • Icky: Oh, crap, we've been hit!
  • Iago: I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE, DEAR LORD, SPARE ME! (Van gets caught in the gravitational field of a planet)
  • Icky: Iago, my friend, we've just been caught in a planet's gravitational field!
  • Iago: Well, you'd better find a way to swivel this van side to side, otherwise we'll set ourselves ablaze!
  • Icky: Roger! (Takes controls, and successfully manages to steer the van from side to side until...)
  • CRASH!

Grox Ship again.

  • Grox Pilot: (Seeing van crash on planet) So long, fuckers! (Makes the ship fly away from the scene.)

Chapter 2- Nowhere

in a desert.

  • Icky: "Aw great! The Van's trashed! Darn Spore Villians!"
  • Iago: "Hey, at least we're alive!"
  • Icky: "Yeah, but Shen is not gonna be happy! he's gonna think we were stupid enough to argue again because he thinks the Grox are just freaken video game villains! and i think we're in a dessert planet! i am not sure if there's even life in-"
  • ???: "WELL HOWDY PARTNER!"
  • Icky and Iago freaked out, and see a bearded rattlesnake.
  • Bearded Rattle Snake: "Hey there, naked aliens, my name is Grandpa Skales! Me and my step-niece, Margina, were just heading to town till we saw your flying horseless charrage crash."
  • a beatiful feminine Gecko appeared besides Skales.
  • Skales: "Oh, there you are, Margina."
  • Margina: "You fellas alright."
  • Icky- Uhh...Shouldn't you be a rattlesnake too instead of a leopard gecko?
  • Margina- Oh, yeah. Yall' must be suspectin' our lil' family setback. My mama got married to Skales' uncle. I don't wanna brag or nothin', but she's dumber than jackrabbit with his head runover by a truck.
  • Iago-...Okay, awkward smile. Where are we?
  • Skales- Where are ya'? Yer' on Planet Pastoon, the finest planet this sector of the galaxy, if that's what yer' term is.
  • Icky- Fine? This place seems more like a desert than a fine place.
  • Margina- Yeah. It ain't much, but SH-YOOT, yall' will like it here.
  • Iago- Are you kidding, woman? Your house is in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing to do but get stung by scorpions--(Small scorpion stings him in the foot) See?
  • Icky- (Pokes pimple, and pimple appears on Iago's other foot) Eew!
  • Skales- Well, yall're in luck. There's a city 20 miles from here. You can go there right now.
  • Iago- Oh, thank God! A city in the middle of a desert.
  • Icky- But wait! What about our van?
  • Margina- Oh, hell, we'll watch over it for yall'.
  • Iago- Really?
  • Margina- Yeah, sure. Yet, if in the event yall' should ever die in dehydration, we'll just take the van apart, and build a windmill.
  • Icky- NOOO! Do NOT take that van apart! It's the only way we'll get off this lousy marble.
  • Iago- Well, what are the damages?
  • Icky- Well, I checked, and it looks like our Antigrav thrusters needs a repair.
  • Iago- Do we need to replace any parts?
  • Icky- Nope.
  • Iago- OOH, THANK YOU, DEAR LORD!
  • Icky- Now, c'mon, let's get to...uh...
  • Skales- Dodge City.
  • Icky- Yeah, Dodge City. Let's go. (Iago and Icky walk down the desert)
  • Margina: "Do you think it's a good idear to let them go on their own with all the bandits running around?"
  • Skales: "Hey, they have a flying horseless charrage, so they must be advanced! they're aliens! they might have propes or phasers or somthing."
  • Margina: "Shouldn't we at least offer them a ride?"
  • Skales: "..... You mean like a rip-shorting adventure?! DARN TOOTING! HEY MIKE!"
  • A donkey sound was heard!
  • Skales: "GET YER SADDLE, WE'RE ADVENTURING!"
  • Mike the Donkey (in a british voice): "Oh i do say, i fancy a little contry outing."
  • Margina- Now hold on there, Uncle Skales! You ain't qualified to ride a carriage seein' as though ya' got no limbs. So, yall' should probably let ME take them.
  • Skales- Hmm, good point. Good luck, honey.
  • Margina- Thanks, Uncle Skales!
  • (Margina rides carriage with Icky and Iago while Western music plays)

Chapter 3- Dodge City

Dirtroad

  • Icky: "Oh man. I know this is a desert, but does it have to be so freaken hot?!"
  • Iago: "Even Agrabah wasn't this hot!"
  • Margina: "Yeah, Sun's at it's worse in summertime."
  • Icky: "How come you ain't sweating insanely like us?"
  • Iago: "Hello, reptile? they soak up sunlight like sponges!"
  • Icky- Yeah, that's practical.
  • Margina- Well, here we are, guys. Dodge City.
  • Iago- Thanks, Ms. Margina.
  • Margina- Don't mention it, stranger. And don't worry 'bout yer' van. It's in good hands. HYAH! (Rides off)
  • Icky- Well, isn't this a quaint little town?
  • Iago- Yeah! I sure could use a glass of water.
  • Icky- So can I. I'm getting so parched right now! Let's go!
  • Iago- Wait a minute, Ick. I don't think the people here would appreciate strangers like us. So, shouldn't we act, you know, Western or something?
  • Icky- Hmm...you make a very good point. Just follow my lead, and act real cool!
  • Iago- Got it.
  • Icky- (He and Iago fly down street) Howdy, yall'!
  • Iago- Yeah, Howdy, indeed! (To Icky, whispering) Do you think we're cool?
  • Icky- Damn right! We're hotter than hickory smoked sausages!
  • Iago- OH, YEAH! That's the spirit, partner! YEE-HAH!
  • Icky- Ya' got that right! YIPPEE!
  • Horned Toad- Those guys are weird.
  • Armadillo- You said it.
  • a small possum girl walks up to Icky and Iago.
  • Icky: "Well howdy little missy!"
  • Possum girl: "Everyone knows your not from around here."
  • Icky and Iago got bugged eye.
  • Icky: "They do?"
  • Possum girl: "One, because your naked. two, there ain't alot of parrots and ugly prehistory birds around these here parts."
  • Icky: "And what makes you so smart?"
  • Possum girl: "Names Jessie."
  • Iago: "Gee, never thought our nu natroal life sytile would rat us out."
  • Icky: "Yeah, let's hope these people ain't xenophobes on strangers."
  • Jessie: "We're not.... We just think your weird for being naked.... and that your being indecent.... Mind putting somne clothes on?"
  • Icky- Uh...sure, if it'll make us a little...less weird. What've you got in mind, Jess?

Later...

  • Jessie- (Icky is wearing a vest, and pants while Iago is wearing shorts and a plad shirt) Better.
  • Iago- Icky, I feel like a pervert.
  • Icky- Shut up, Iago! Come to think of it, this outfit makes me look nice.
  • Jessie- Well, at least your not naked anymore. How long have yall' been naked like that?
  • Icky- All our lives.
  • Jessie- (Tail falls down) Ooh! No wonder yall're weird.
  • Iago- Look, let's just cut to the chase, youngling!
  • Icky- AGAIN with the youngling thing! Just call them kids for God's sake!
  • Iago- Shut up, Icky! Now anyway, where do you think we can find some water around here?
  • Jessie- Oh, there ain't no water here.
  • Iago/Icky- WHAT?
  • Jessie- That's right. Our town's dryin' up. We're losin' our lands thanks to this drought, and now we ain't got nothin' to live for.
  • Icky- Well, well! (To Iago) Say, Iago? You in the mood for some good ol' fashioned action?
  • Iago- Ugh, here we go again, ladies and germs!
  • Icky- (To Jessie) Well, that's terrible. But I'm sure we can help you with your little...water problem.
  • Jessie- How're you gonna do that, strangers?
  • Iago- We're all around known justice fighters from a very famous team. And we are SO willing to give you a helping hand...or wing, in our cases.
  • Jessie- Well, if yer' sure, then why don't you meet our local sheriff when he gets back.
  • Iago- You have a sheriff?
  • Icky- Of course they do, Iago. Every town should have a sheriff, you should know that. So, when is he gonna come back, Jess?
  • Jessie- Probably in the next 2 hours or so. But if you want, yall' can go over to the saloon and get some beverages.
  • Iago- Do they sell alcohol?
  • Jessie- Oh, HELL NO! That stuff is illegal in our town.
  • Iago- Well, thank God! C'mon, Ickeroo! (Iago and Icky head off to saloon)

Saloon.

  • Icky opens the doors, Jessie and Iago walked in. Icky un-hands doors and doors slap Icky back outside!
  • Iago: "(LAUGHS OUT LOUD!)"
  • Icky: "Ah, Zip it, Parrot."
  • a Horse bartender notices the act.
  • Horse Bartender: "Never seen a parrot and a prehistory bird around these parts before. New in town?"
  • Jessie- Sure are. They done arrived in this town nude.
  • Horse Bartender- NUDE?!? (All Laughs)
  • Iago- Excuse me, Ms. Jessie? I don't wanna be a temper to you, but KEEP OUR EMBARASSING STUNT TO YOURSELF!
  • Icky- (Slaps Iago) Iago, keep it down! Now, Mr. uh...who're you exactly?
  • Horse Bartender- Name's Horseshoe Harold.
  • Icky- Yeah, Horseshoe Harold, uh, I've been told your town has some sort of water problem. Ain't that right?
  • Harold- Sho' nuff is. Most of the people here in Dodge City have lost their lands because of this water problem.
  • Iago- Well, where do you think it went?
  • Harold- Beats me! Not much we know 'bout this town. Besides, why're yall' askin' me this?
  • Icky- Why? We're heroes, of course. We're from different worlds. You can say we and our team get across the UUniverses like there's no tomorrow. I'm Icky, and that's Iago, and we'd be happy to lend a helping wing. (All cheer)
  • Desert Iguana- Uh, excuse me, Mr. Icky? Where are your others from?
  • Icky- Our others? They're all from different worlds and universes. Have yall' ever heard of the infamous Shell Lodge Squad? Protectors of the UUniverses? Enemies of the Villain League and Darkspawn?
  • Desert Toad- Uh, the Shell Lodge Squad? Oh, hell, they ain't nothin' but a darn myth.
  • Iago- MYTH? Is he serious? A myth? Why these Lodgers are as real as they come.
  • Icky- Yeah. Yet it somehow amazes me that these townspeople know about the Lodge.
  • Jackrabbit- Well, of course we dun' heard 'bout 'em. It's just a tall tale. We all know that they're mighty heroes from way up in space that watch over the flow of the Universe. They also say they keep the stars in the sky from being destroyed by their own flow. They ride in a big ball of fire that moves at the speed of light. They are considered so powerful, that they are said to be gods of this Universe.
  • Icky- Well, the thing is, Mr. Jackrabbit, that the Universe is not actually a universe at all. It's actually a GROUP of Universes. You have our word, we know everything about our Lodge.
  • Horned Toad- Uhh, you do?
  • Icky- THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
  • Coyote- Well, can you tell us? I'm sure the entire town would like to hear about it.
  • Icky- We sure can.
  • Iago-...(To screen) Folks, this is gonna take a while, so, get lost and see if there's anything more important in this town than right now.

Chapter 4- Dead-Eye Monroe

Dodge City Bank

  • A badger bank teller was just gonna close.
  • Badger: "Ah, another day, another dollar."
  • ???: "You got that right, Weak-Kneed Joe."
  • Joe turned around to see 3 Vultures. A short one, a tall one, and another tall one, but this one seems atad stupid.
  • Joe: "(Gasp), The Turkey-Neck Vulture Bros! Shortcake Pete the kid, Trash talker Al, and Billy the idiot!"
  • Pete: "That's right, Joe. we come for the weekly donations again."
  • Al: "Yeah, now cough up before we drag yer ass throughout town!"
  • Billy: "Duh, did you mean "Ass" as in donkey or his butt?"
  • Pete facepalms himself.
  • Pete: "Your a dimbulb Billy."
  • Joe: "No! No please! I am still getting sand out of my faverite suit the last time you guys did that!"
  • Al: "Then cough up you idjit!"
  • Joe coughs!
  • Al: "Not litterally cough, stupid, the money!"
  • Joe: "Oh, ok!"
  • Joe unlocks and reopens bank door!
  • Joe: "Take the keys to the safe! Just don't hurt me!!"
  • Pete: "Mighty smart of you, weak knees. Tough luck that problematic Sheruff ain't here to stop us THIS time. Come one boys, time to collect."
  • Al: "Yeah boss, right with ya."
  • Billy: "Duh, ok."
  • Pete- Boss, you'll never guess what we've got! We've got the keys to the safe!
  • A scorpian with a redden eyeball, and a robotic tail that looks like some sort of, gun, appears from the side.
  • Dead-Eye Monroe- Ah, yes. The keys! That badger is such a bimbo! C'mon, boys, let's dig in!

Back at the Saloon

  • Icky- ... Team Nefarious is another villaneous team we have crossed paths with since we were at Golden City in Baghdad. They've already got their hands on the UUniversal Boundaries Generator. And the Darkspawn... Thay're the worst of the worst! They've wiped out and destroyed many worlds throughout the UUniverses in their time. They could've also attacked Pastoon as well! (All gasp) But don't worry! They're locked up in the safety of the Banished Realms! However, we may be concerned when Dr. Nefarious fiddles with the UUniversal Boundaries Generator. After all, that machine is why the Banished Realms can't be united with the others. But someday, we'll get to that Generator, and kick Nefarious and his little team out of that place, and put up an energy shield around it. And once we do, there's no WAY the Darkspawn will get out. (All cheer)
  • Harold- Sweet sausages, that's dun' right amazing!
  • Horned Toad- Extraordinary, I've never heard anything like that in my life!
  • Desert Iguana- Those guys are total heroes!
  • Armadillo- (Coming inside Saloon) Harold, I think we've got a little problem!
  • Harold- What is it, Bill?
  • Bill- That nasty Dead-Eye Monroe is robbing the bank again!
  • Harold- WHAT?!? And the Sheriff still isn't back?! What're we gonna do?
  • Icky- Never fear, Harold! We'll handle this Dead-Eye Monroe no problem!
  • Iago- Yeah! How bad can one guy be?

Outside the Bank

  • Monroe and the Vultures are seen with big sacks of loot!
  • ???: "HALT, VILL-E-ANS?!"
  • Monroe: "WHAT THE?!"
  • ???: "YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS JUST INCURED THE WRATH OF-"
  • Icky and Iago reveiled themselfs!
  • Icky: "THE SHELL LOUGE SQUAD! OR AT LEAST, TWO OF THEM! ICKY AND IAGO!?"
  • Vulture Bros: "SHELL LOUGE SQUAD?!"
  • Iago- HE'S A SCORPION?!? AAARRGH! (Hides behind Icky)
  • Icky: "Aw, seriously, in front of the bad guys Iago?"
  • Monroe- (Cackles) Some heroes you are. Yer' nothin' but stupid lil' chickens!
  • Pete: "If your the Shell Louge Squad, then where's the rest of yer crew?"
  • Icky: "Well, first of all, me and Iago here are and/or were going on Vacation, second, our flying van got shoot down by hostile aliens, 3rd-"
  • Al: "He didn't ask for your life story fagget! what you did say was enough!"
  • Monroe: "I heard of you misfits, and from what i been told, you and the Parrot, while are on that vary team, you guys are mostly there to be the comic relief!"
  • Billy: "Oh, you mean, like cirus clowns? Oh, oh, oh, you the highwire act!"
  • Pete palmface himself.
  • Pete: "Billy, once again, your a dimbulb."
  • Monroe: "And i doubt being funny is nothing you can top, Birdbrains."
  • Icky- Oh, really? I've handled villains worse than you and yer' henchmen combined! (To Iago) Say, Iago, you got the gun we packed?
  • Iago- Oh, yeah, it's right here! (Icky gets gun, and points it at Monroe)
  • Icky- You're under arrest, Monroe! Put all 4 of your arms up unless you reckon we blast your 4 eyes out of your skull, and squish them. Even though one of them looks like it's already unfuntioning because it's, redness.
  • Monroe- (Cackles) I ain't afraid of clowns like you! I've had guns pointed at me before, and they ain't got no effect on me!
  • Icky- Are you serious? (Shoots, but bullet deflects off of Monroe's tough hide) What the--?
  • Monroe- See? My hide is too thick for a bullet to kill me! So it looks like we're gonna do this the hard way! (Crawls toward Iago and Icky, but they start to fly)
  • Iago- HAHAH! I'd like to see you catch us now, Arthropunk! (Monroe leaps up towards Iago, and snaps him with claw) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOWWWCH! (Monroe's extra weight sends Iago falling down even after he tries to regain control of his flight) No! No! NOOO! (Monroe lands, and pinches him) OUCH!
  • Monroe- (Cackles) I see all you dimwits know is how to lose! (Leaps up towards Icky, and tries to pinch him, but Icky dodges his attack, and grabs him by the tail) What the hell?!? (Icky throws Monroe down to the ground) OOF! My cephalothorax! (Icky begins shooting multiple bullets at Monroe) Hey, what the-- Stop! Cut it out!
  • Icky- Your hide may be thick, but not against a dozen bullets--(Runs out of ammo) Darn it, out of ammo! Not a good thing when dealing with a crazed poison producing archne-
  • Monroe- (Jumps towards Icky, and slams him into the ground!) OUCH! Uuuhhgh...
  • Monroe- You ain't no heroes! like i said before, your just one of the cheap entertainment they drag around! Now if you'll excuse me, we must get moving with our riches! (Cackles until he gets hit by a whip, and his Vulture henchmen get slapped around by a siloatte hero, causing the Vultures to run off!)
  • Icky- Whoa! total ownage!
  • Iago- This guy is cool!
  • ???- Come with me! And bring Monroe with us! He has information I must know! (Icky, Iago, and the Unknown person take Monroe, and walk away)
  • Pete, Billy, and Al look from the sky.
  • Pete: "I don't the big boss ain't gonna like this."
  • Al: "That bloody squirter fagget lizard ain't ever happy!"
  • Billy: "How's about, we get him a nice Picnic Baskit?"
  • Pete groans.
  • Pete: "Billy, yer still a dimbulb."

Chapter 5- The Local Sheriff Returns

Dodge City Jail

  • Icky- Okay, mister, who exactly are you? (Unknown figure reveals himself to be the Sheriff) (Gasps) The Sheriff! You're back!
  • Sheriff- Yes, I'm back! The name's Sheriff Garrot! And I'd like to thank you for helping me find this Monroe son of a bitch.... At least, in distracting him long enough for me to stop him.
  • Iago- What about those 3 Vulture Bros. that were with him?
  • Sheriff- Oh, don't worry, just slap them around hard enough and they ran of. But they'll be back. Fortinatly, those three are the only ones to worry around here.
  • Iago- Well, Sheriff Garrot? I'd like to ask you why you're interrogating this guy instead of just locking him up?
  • Sheriff- Because this guy is more than you think he is! I just learned while I was gone that HE had something to do with our little water problem!
  • Icky- He is and does?
  • Sheriff- THAT'S WHAT I SAID! Now just help me get this bastard out of unconsciousness! (Iago shines light on Monroe, and Monroe slowly regained consciousness, and is blinded by the light)
  • Monroe- What's going on here? Where am I?
  • Sheriff- I think you should know, buster!
  • Monroe- HOLY HELL! Sheriff Garrot! Y-Y-You're back!
  • Sheriff- That's right, Monroe! And we've got some questions for you concerning our water!
  • Monroe- What're you talkin' 'bout? (Sheriff smacks him in the face)
  • Sheriff- I'm talkin' 'bout the damn water problem, That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! I know you're stashin' something 'bout it! Who do you work for?
  • Monroe- You can't make me talk! YOU CAN'T! (Sheriff Garrot gets angry at him)...But I'd like to see you try!...
  • Sheriff- As you wish, Monroe! (Monroe finds out he's in an electric chair, and Sheriff Garrot zaps him) TALK, or so help me, we will zap you with enough voltage to light up Las Vegas!
  • Monroe- OKAY, OKAY! I work for Ambassador Higgins!
  • Sheriff- Higgins? (Shrugs) We ain't got time for goddamn stories 'round these parts! TELL THE TRUTH, MONROE!
  • Monroe- I AM, I SWEAR TO GOD!
  • Sheriff- SWEAR TO ME!
  • Icky- (Watching Monroe and Sheriff Garrot) Whoa, that Sheriff is crazier than I thought!
  • Iago- Total psycho!
  • Sheriff- Well, if yer' tellin' the truth, what did Higgins order you to do to cause this water problem, can't you see our town is DRYIN' UP LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER?!?
  • Monroe- Yes, Higgins ordered me to stop all access to water!
  • Sheriff- How?
  • Monroe- (A gun is secretly aimed at Sheriff Garrot) If I tell ya', I'm a dead scorpion!
  • Sheriff- YOU'RE A DEAD SCORPION IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!
  • Monroe- AW, C'MON, WHICH GODDAMN SIDE SHOULD I TAKE?!?
  • (gunshot!)
  • Sheruff: "GAH! my leg!"
  • Billy bursts through the wall!
  • Al: "I got that sucker good, Pete."
  • Pete: "You alright, boss?"
  • Monroe: "Do i look alright, you idjits? I'MA STRAPPED TO THE SHOCKY CHEAR?! Get me out of here!"
  • Billy picks up the chear, and flies off!
  • Al: "Have a light show, faggets!"
  • Al tosses a smoke bomb!
  • BOOM!
  • the Turkey-Neck Vulture bros and Monroe have vanished!
  • Sheruff: "(Sigh), not the first time that happened, but damn do i still hate it!"
  • Iago- Well, at least we DID get some info about the water problem. He said that your Ambassador has something to do with it as well.
  • Sheriff- Yes, Ambassador Higgins. He's a mean but fair horned toad. He's worked with the mayor of Dodge City for years. But be warned! Do NOT make him nervous. You wouldn't like him when he gets nervous.
  • Icky- Why not?
  • Sheriff- You don't wanna know. (All 3 leave)

rocky hideout.

  • Monroe: "DAGNAP IT! we were this close of getting our mits on the bank! but we blundered it!"
  • Billy: "Oh cheer up, boss, it's not so bad?"
  • ???: "NOT SO BAD?!"
  • All for looked at a horned lizard.
  • Horn Lizard: "You guys are block heads! And one of you spilled the beans! (getting nervious) Oh god, oh god, i could kiss my coushy job good bye! i'll be in a cell before i know it! oh god, oh god, oh lordy!"
  • Al slaps him!
  • Al: "Snap out of it, ya fagget! You don't wanna squirt blood on one of your henchmen, do you?
  • Higgins- Oh, right!
  • Billy- He squirts blood? EW! THAT'S GROSS! Why didn't anybody tell me any of this?!?
  • Monroe- (Sighs) Ambassador Higgins, what are we gonna do? Those misfits and the Sheriff could be on their way to your office any minute.
  • Higgins- Relax, Monroe! I've got the entire situation taken care of! Once the mayor has bought up all the land in Dodge City, we can kill him, take over the city, the land, and then bring back the water! It's ingenious!
  • Billy- Ooh, clever strategy, boss! Nobody can think of it like that!
  • Higgins- Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get those bastards off my back! (Leaves)

Mayor's office.

  • The mayor (who is a Borrow Owl): "God, i hate paperwork."
  • A female fox: "Sir, the Sheruff and two un-native birds would like to talk to you."
  • Mayor- Bring them in. (Icky, Iago, and the Sheriff came in)
  • Sheriff- Afternoon, Mayor.
  • Mayor- Afternoon, Sheriff! You seem abit off the edge. And who are your new friends?
  • Sheriff- This is Icky and Iago, who claim to be members of the mythical Shell Lodge Squad. And we have some questions for you.
  • Mayor- I'm all ears, Sheriff! What is it you want?
  • Sheriff- Are you aware that Ambassador Higgins might have something to do with the water disappearance?
  • Mayor- (Laughs) Come now, Sheriff! That's absurd, where would you get that idea?
  • Sheriff- I learned while I was gone that Dead-Eye Monroe had something to do with the water problem, and said that Ambassador Higgins ordered him to somehow get rid of all the water in Dodge City. Is that true by any chance?
  • Mayor- Well, I don't know. If you want some answers, then I suggest you take it up with the Ambassador.
  • Sheriff- Well, if you're sure, we'll go talk to the Ambassador right now. Good day, Mr. Mayor!
  • Mayor- You too, Sheriff! (All 3 leave)

Chapter 6- Ambassador Higgins

Ambassador's Office

  • Higgins was getting jumpy.
  • Higgins: "Remember Higgins, deny everything.... Just, deny, everything."
  • Knocking on the door!
  • Higgins: "(SCREAMS) STAND BACK! UH, I'M NAKED! NO WAIT, NOT HOME! UH, I'M IN THE TUB!"
  • Sheriff- (Outside door) Relax, Ambassador, we're not here to challenge you to a game of poker again.
  • Higgins- Oh, thank God! Come on in! ("Remember, Higgins, DENY, DENY, DENY!") (Sheriff and duo come in)
  • Iago- (Outside Door) Wait, you guys gamble?
  • Sheriff- (Outside Door) It's just a dirty, stupid game, anyway! Now, C'mon, let's get him to spill all the water out of his guts! (All 3 come in) Howdy, Ambassador Higgins!
  • Higgins- (Calm and cool) Greetings, Sheriff Garrot! I see you have those so called 'Shell Lodgers' with you.
  • Sheriff- I know! Now, we have a few questions for you! Are you involved in Dodge City's water crisis?
  • Higgins- (Scoffs and laughs fakingly) That's bullshit! What could I possibly have to do with the water?
  • Sheriff- Dead-Eye Monroe told me himself! We wanna know WHY you told him to cut off all the water in Dodge City!
  • Higgins- He told you that? He's nothing but a stupid outlaw! You can't possibly trust him!
  • Sheriff- Well, he sure sounded serious when he told me!
  • Higgins- Pphbt, he was just saying that as to frame me for aiding you for his last arrest.
  • Sheriff- (Surprised)... Oh... I guess you're right! But I'm afraid he sounded pretty serious!
  • Monroe- (Outside building) DUUUHHH, DOI! DUUHH! (All 4 look out window, and see Monroe and Al) (Pretending) Al, you stupidhead! The Earth is as flat as paper! And this map of the world proves it! (Takes out map)
  • Al- Actually, Monroe, it's as round as a ball! And this globe proves it! (Takes out globe)
  • Monroe- Hey, that stuff is so 15th century! It's as flat as a disc!
  • Higgins-... See? What did I tell ya'? Dumb as a cow!
  • Cow Lady- Excuse me?
  • Higgins- NO EFFENSE, LADY MILKWELL!
  • Sheriff- Hmm... I guess he is that dumb! I remember that time he tried to steal one coin!

Past

  • Monroe- (At the bank holding one coin) At last! One last cent, and I'll have enough money to afford some car insurance from Geico.

Present

  • Icky- He really did that?
  • Iago- WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
  • Sheriff- I know, right! Well, Ambassador, I guess we wronged you. Looks like we won't have to arrest you after all. C'mon, guys, let's go! (All 3 leave)
  • Higgins-... (Shakes, and camera censors Higgins squirting blood from his eyes after holding his nervousness) That was close!
  • Higgins walks to the window.
  • Higgins: "Nice job on the "The World is flat" thing!"
  • Al: "No problem boss."

Chapter 7- A Startling Discovery

Dodge City Jail

  • Icky- Exactly how much of the land in Dodge City has the mayor bought up because of this water crisis?
  • Sheriff- He's bought up 99% of it. He's got only one more land to buy.
  • Iago- And what land is that?
  • Sheriff- My wife's land.
  • Icky- You have a wife?
  • Sheriff- Sure do. And one child.
  • Iago- That's nice.
  • Sheriff- But we can't allow the mayor to buy our land because it's all we got. If we don't get any water soon, we might wind up losin' it.
  • Icky- Well, I assure you, Sheriff, we'll do whatever it takes to help you! I promise you we'll get that water back one way or another!
  • Sheriff- But how? We were so close to solvin' this case, but as it turned out, Ambassador Higgins was innocent!
  • Iago- Or not! Perhaps that was just a means of tricking us.
  • Sheriff- But there ain't no proof of that.
  • Icky- Sheriff? You might wanna take a look at this!
  • the Sheruff looks out the window, and sees Higgins shaking Monroe's claw, like they're friends or something, then Higgins shakes the hands and/or feather tips of Pete, Al, and Billy.
  • Sheruff: "That sneaky snake."
  • Iago- You see? We've been had! I still can't believe we fell for that!
  • Sheriff- I know! I should've known that Monroe's one coin bank robbery would be a perfect advantage to trick me!
  • Icky- Well, let's get down there and arrest them!
  • Sheriff- NOT YET! We gotta follow 'em, and see what they're up to! (Higgins, Monroe and the Vultures leave out to a faraway structure) C'mon! (Sheriff, Iago, and Icky run after them)

Chapter 8- The Water Source Conspirtity reveiled.

  • Sheriff- (Whispering) We're almost there! (They all reach an emergency water valve) An emergency water valve?
  • Icky- So THAT's how the water's been controlled.
  • Sheriff- I seemed to forget where that emergency valve was.
  • Higgins- Well, boys, I think we've finally done it! Within 2 hours, the Sheriff's land will belong to the Mayor. Then we'll kill 'em, and take over the town and all the land he's bought. And no one even knows 'bout it. Boys, I think we've got ourselves a doggone' good town! (Cackles) Now, who wants a glass of water?
  • Monroe/All Vultures- WE DO! (All 5 get glasses of water, and drinks water for a long period of time)
  • Everyone- (Stopped drinking) Aaaahh!
  • Pete- Uh, say, Mr. Ambassador? I've been thinkin'...what if the Sheriff and those 2 party animals find out what we're schemin' at? Won't they eventually whoop us and toss us in a jail cell 'r somethin?
  • Higgins- (Scoffs and laughs) I hear ya' loud n' clear, Shortcake! That's why I managed to bag us up some cargo! (Shows Sheriff Garrot's wife tied up to a pole with her mouth covered)
  • Sheriff- (Gasps) Laura!
  • Icky- That's your wife?
  • Iago- Well, at least they haven't gotten your son.
  • Higgins- I also have an extra! (Shows Garrot's son tied up to another pole with his mouth covered)
  • Sheriff- Ralph!
  • Iago- DAMN! I hate it when that happens!
  • Icky- You read my mind!
  • Iago- What'll we do now? They've got hostages, so we can't do a thing!
  • Sheriff- Simple! I've taken care of kidnappings many times before. Watch and learn! (Aims gun for Laura's chain lock) If I can just find the correct trajectory...(Fires bullet, and bullet bounces off of Laura's chain lock, breaking it and freeing Laura, then the bullet hits Ralph's lock and frees him, then the bullet strikes and kills a womp rat) BULLSEYE! Just like Luke Skywalker use to do!
  • Laura- We're free!
  • Higgins- What the devil?
  • Sheriff- LAURA, RALPH, RUN!
  • Higgins- Oh, no you don't lady! (Grabs Laura, but Laura elbows him in the chest, grabs him and throws him to the ground in front of her, and she runs)
  • Pete- (Ralph is running away) And where do ya' think YOU'RE goin', small fry? You ain't goin' nowhere! (Garrot suddenly shoots his butt) YOW!
  • Sheriff- RUN, SON, RUN! (Ralph runs) Alright, you dirtbags, enough horsin' around! Yer' all under arrest for water violation!
  • Higgins- (Not scared, his eyes turn red, and (Censored) squirts blood at Sheriff Garrot)
  • Sheriff- UGH! YUCK, THAT'S VILE!
  • Icky- Ugh, now I know how violence feels. (Uncensored) Looks like he needs out help, Iago! You got an extra gun you can use?
  • Iago- Do I ever! (Takes out a .44 Magnum)
  • Icky- HOLY SHIT! You got a .44 Magnum?!? Where the hell did you find that thing?
  • Iago- I bought it in the local weapons shop.
  • Icky- Well, at least I still have my gun. Now let's catch some criminals!
  • Iago- My pleasure!
  • Higgins- (Sits on top of a blood-covered Sheriff and pulls his leg) Hahahahahah! (Iago and Icky point guns at Higgins) What the hell?
  • Iago- (Imitates Clint Eastwood) This is a .44 Magnum! The most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off like a soda can overly shaken! So you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?
  • Higgins- (Surrenders, and Sheriff points his gun at Higgins)
  • Sheriff- We got him good, boys!
  • ???- Oh, Sheriff? (All 3 turn around to see the Mayor pointing his gun at Laura and Ralph) Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?
  • Icky- Wha-...What the hell is the mayor doin' with that piece of ass and that poor boy?
  • Sheriff- Mr. Mayor, what in tarnation is the meanin' of this outrage?
  • Mayor- (Chuckles) Well, you see, son, Higgins ain't the brains behind the whole operation!...I am! (Everybody gasps)
  • Monroe- What the fuck! Mr. Ambassador, I thought you said the Mayor had no idea 'bout this!
  • Higgins- Well, actually he did all along! He's the reason why I sent you to shut off the water! I only had to say that he didn't so I could prepare ya' for it.
  • Billy- You mean he was tryin' to kill himself?
  • Al- Oh, shut up, Bill!
  • Pete: "You is still a dim bulb, Bully."
  • Sheriff- What's goin' on here, Mr. Mayor?
  • Mayor- Well, it's quite simple, really! You never fully realized why I was buyin' all the land in Dodge City, did ya'? Well, this is why! I knew that gettin' rid of the water would be a full opportunity to buy all the land in the town. Then, once I have yer' family's land within 1 hour, I can bring back the water!
  • Icky- But I don't understand!
  • Iago- Yeah! It all seems to be a blank!
  • Sheriff- Why would ya' go through all this trouble to buy up a whole lotta' empty lands for yourself?
  • Mayor- I'm glad you asked, Sheriff! Come with me!

Mayor's Bought Up Lands

  • Icky- Holy Long Necks! (All the land that the Mayor had bought has many buildings under construction) What in the name of Pete is going on here?!?
  • Pete: "Hey, I am just as dang confused as you are!"
  • Iago- This seems pretty odd!
  • Sheriff- I agree! What're ya' buildin' out here, Mr. Mayor? You need a lot of casinoes to help satisfy you for yer' achievements?
  • Mayor- No. I'm building the future! Soon all of this will fade into myth, Sheriff! This is what our city was destined for! To bring the dawn of a new age!
  • Higgins- It's true!
  • Billy: "New Age?"
  • Al: "That's what he said, retard!"
  • Pete: "You will always be dim, billy."
  • Mayor- I looked at my little town of Dodge City, and ya' know what I thought? I thought 'Hey, this crappy land needs to be changed once and for all!'. I had no idea how to make it better until I came across an actual city bustling with people, water, even electricity! Our town was a piece of SHIT! (Laura covers Ralph's ears) That's when it hit me! I learned that this town needs some modifications one way or another! That's why all this is here, Sheriff! I'm turning this hunk of junk into a bright and shiny metropolis! (Dubbed as Judge Doom) Soon, where hundreds of farm lands once stood will be a stream of gas-stations! Inexpensive motels, restauraunts that serve lovely-prepared food, tire salons, car shops, casinoes, and wonderful wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see!...My God, it will be beautiful!
  • Icky- Seems like a lot of trouble just to make Dodge City a better place. I mean, getting your own adviser and 4 dangerious criminals involved?
  • Iago- Well, it was a good plan.
  • Mayor- Yer' damn right it was! I sent Ambassador Higgins to hire Dead-Eye and his Vultures to shut off the water so the people would be willing to sell their lands! And soon, it will all be over for you all!
  • Icky: "Look, you have, argueability nice intentions, but the way you sought to achtived it, through conspirtity and corruption, assosiating with crooks, causing people to lose their homes?"
  • Iago: "Honestly, not the best way to do it."
  • Mayor: "All but a trivial and minor, but impourent sacrivice for something everyone will benifit from."
  • Sheriff- You won't get away with this, Mr. Mayor!
  • Mayor- I already have, Sheriff! You'll all be dead by the time I get the Sheriff's land! And with you all out of the way, even you Shell Lodger comedians, I can be free to rule New Dodge City! Hey, that adds a nice ring to it! Okay, take them away! (Bad guys take good guys away)
  • Higgins stayed behind.
  • Higgins: "And I'll be there to stand by your side, sir."
  • Mayor: "Actselly, Higgins, that belongs to Mitsy."
  • the Female Fox from before appears.
  • Higgins: "What?! But, what will become of me?"
  • Mayor: "Mitsy?"
  • Mitsy, the fox, readies a shotgun.
  • Higgins: "Wha, wha, wha, but, I, but, but, why?"
  • Mayor: "Let's just say, your story of trying to kill me off may had been atad too convincing. I need to show those lawless men who is really the boss around here. Also, I am not sure if you can be trusted anymore."
  • Higgins: "Wait, it was just a story to convince those, savages to help!"
  • Mayor: "Alittle life lesson before you retire for good, Higgy. Sometimes, the real savage, isn't always the obvious one. Mitsy?"
  • Mitsy: "My pleasure sir. (Aims gun at Higgins) And one more thing Higgins. I always hated you."
  • BANG!
  • Higgins falls down.
  • Mayor: "Ya think the others saw that?"
  • Mitsy looks over, and sees everyone's dramatised faces.
  • Mitsy: "I believe the answer is yes."
  • Mayor: "And that's what will happen to you outlaws if you try anything smart! you boys serve me now!"
  • Monroe and the Vulture Bros gulped.
  • Monroe: "Uh, sure thing, b-b-b-b-b-b-boss!"
  • The bad guys resumed taking the good guys away.

Chapter 9- The Showdown Begins

  • Sheriff- (Vultures and Monroe take the Sheriff, Iago, Icky, Laura and Ralph into the middle of the desert)(Whispers) Say, guys? Yer' Shell Lodgers, right? So you got any bright ideas?
  • Icky- I don't know.
  • Sheriff- Well, we're toast. Wait! I've got one! (Everyone stops)
  • Monroe- Well, uh, under the influence of our...new boss...prepare for oblivion! (Loads chaingun on robotic tail) Any last words?
  • Sheriff- Yes!...LOOK, YOUR CAR'S BEING TOWED!
  • Monroe- What?! (silence)...... Wait, I don't own no ding dang car-(Sheriff quickly snatches Bill's gun, and shoots his tail, damaging it) YAAAOOOOW!
  • Sheriff- LAURA, VENOM ATTACK!
  • Laura- (Bites Al)
  • Al- OWCH! My hand! (Gets sick) Oooh! You god-damn bitch..... (Faints)
  • Ralph- Dad, I can't use venom until I mature.
  • Sheriff- That's alright, Ralph, just stay close! (Laura and the Sheriff bite the last two Vultures, and they get sick, and fall)
  • Monroe- GRRRRGH! I'M GONNA BLOW SO MANY HOLES IN YOUR BODY, YOU'LL BE A BLOOD FOUNTAIN! (Suddenly Icky and Iago shoot more holes in Monroe's robotic tail, and Monroe loses his ability to shoot, *click*) AAAAHHHGH! On second thought, plumb time for me to VAMOOSE! (Monroe tries to escape, but Sheriff points gun at him, stoping him instently!)
  • Sheriff- Yer' goin' down, Monroe!
  • Monroe- No, please, Sheriff! HAVE MERCY!
  • Sheriff- Mercy ain't my thing! (Monroe is surprised)
  • BANG!
  • Icky- Sheriff Garrot? Are these guys really dead?
  • Sheriff- Oh, no. The venom in those vultures are curable as long as the cure is harnessed from Laura's venom, and mine for Shortcake here.
  • Iago- Well, what about Monroe?
  • Sheriff- shots on Monroe aren't fatal, as you guys learned before, cause of his imprentiable skin and can be removed. All i did was knocked him unconjustus again using a tough enough bullet. I'm sure all 4 of those dessert rats will be okay.
  • Icky- Well, let's put them in jail, and get them fixed up before we go stop the Mayor. They're bad guys, but they did nothing bad enough that we would leave them for dead.
  • Sheriff- Yeah, we wouldn't want the hawks catching these guys.

Later

  • Monroe- I don't believe it! We were beaten to the punch, AGAIN!
  • Al: "At least they are generious enough to cure us first, Monroe."
  • Sheriff- That's the point of bein' on the good side. Alright, Laura, you and Ralph stay here and watch these guys! Me and the birdies will find the Mayor! (All 3 leave)
  • Ralph- Go get 'em, Dad!

outside.

  • Icky: "Nothing can stop us now!"
  • A flash accured as a gun shot was heard, then, everything went black.
  • Eventally, Icky awoke and was on the ground.
  • Icky: "What the!"
  • the Other lougers were seen before him.
  • Lord Shen: "Ah, your awake now! Now then, I'll get to complain on why didn't you called us in your communitcater?"
  • Icky: "Oh.... I forgot."
  • Lord Shen: "Well, lucky for you, i placed a tracker on the van leading to this place. Now, you and Iago are coming straight home."
  • Icky: "Yeah, just as soon as we defeat this really corrupt mayor and his hot fox assisent from buying all the land so they can destroy it and build a more modern city!"
  • Lord Shen: "Exuse me?"
  • Icky- Uh...You don't know? Are we still on Pastoon? What happened? Where's Iago? Where's Sheriff Garrot?
  • Iago- Well...you might've missed the fun.
  • Icky- I WHAT?!? What the heck happened? Weren't we gonna stop that mayor?
  • Sheriff- We were, and we did.
  • Icky- What?
  • Iago- Well, the thing is you were shot by the Mayor's twin brother right after you said 'Nothing can stop us now!'. But luckily, we beat him. Nothing but wild west history now.
  • Icky- You mean...I missed out on all the action?
  • Sheriff- Sho' nuff did.
  • Icky- Oh, you've GOT to be kidding! Could you guys tell me how it went for the sake of showing the audience how it went?
  • Sheruff: "Sure, i'll explain everything. Turns out, the Mayor we fought wasn't our honorable mayor at all, but his evil brother Louis."
  • Icky: "And cue flashback to make it exciting!"
  • Sheriff- Well, it went something like this...

Flashback

  • Icky- Nothing can stop us now! (Suddenly gets shot by bullet)
  • Iago- ICKY!
  • Sheriff- Where the hell did THAT come from?!?
  • ???- Over here, you horseasses! (All look at the direction of the bullet, and see the Mayor being held hostage by...the Mayor?)
  • Iago- Holy shit! There's 2 mayors!
  • Sheriff- (Shrugs) I shouldn'tve guessed it! It's Louis, the Mayor's evil twin brother! He stole the Mayor's identity so he could get to do everything he told us!
  • Louis- That's right, Sheriff! You and your so called 'Shell Lodgers' are a bunch of JACKASSES! You totally fell for it, too! (Cackles) Hell, not even the Ambassador knew it was really me! But to hell with him, he'll never find out! All of yall' best drop yer' weapons, unless ya' reckon I splatter what's left of my brother's dinghy all over the floor!
  • Iago- (Scoffs and laughs)
  • Sheriff- (Slaps Iago) Iago, this is no time for jokes! Yer friend just got shot! We gotta fight this bastard!
  • Louis- I SAID DROP YOUR WEAPONS! (Both drop weapons) That's more like it! Soon, the town will be mine, and your lil' ranch will be mine, and the NEW town will be mine! EVERYTHING WILL BE MINE! (Cackles) I LOVE BEING EVIL! (Cackles when suddenly...)
  • BANG!
  • Sheriff- (Louis was shot in the head, and killed) What in tarnation? (Sees that Laura had Iago's .44 Magnum gun)
  • Laura- Yeah! That's how we do it in the ol' West, ya son of a bitch!
  • Iago- My .44 Magnum! (Sees the gun he had) Oh, shoot! I must've had the wrong gun!
  • Mitsy: "If that wasn't the mayor all this time, then.... Oh no, what have I done? I killed that idiot Higgins! He was the only one whoever loved me even if he was gross?! What have I done?! (drops to the floor and cries)"
  • the Real Mayor: "There there, Mitsy. You didn't know what was going on."
  • Sheriff- Well, at least it's over! Now we can bring the water back. (All cheer)
  • Iago: "Well, I better call the lougers for egmergency sugrery."
  • Iago looks at Icky.
  • Iago: "Oy..... You poor son of a pup."

Present

  • Icky- Wow! I really DID miss out on all the action. Well, at least it's over.
  • Lord Shen- Yeah. Now, about the whole situation about, oh, I don't know, you WRECKED THE DARN VAN AGAIN!
  • Icky-...Iago's fault!
  • Iago- HEY, DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME, IT WAS THE GROX AGAIN!
  • Lord Shen- (Shrugs) Not this again! For the last time, (A Grox flying saucer appears behind him) there is no such thing as the... It's right behind me, isn't it? (Turns around to see a flying saucer)
  • Icky- See? Told ya'! In your FACE!
  • Lord Shen- CAN WE JUST GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!
  • Merlin- (Magically fixes van) Alright, c'mon, chaps! Let's go! (All Lodgers panic, and blast off into space with Grox chasing after it)
  • Sheriff- Farewell, Shell Lodgers! Farewell!

Epilogue

Shell Louge Van, after it escaped the Grox Ship.

  • Vainiana (on the TV.): "I promise you we will force the Grox out of that terratory to punish them for willful assult of the High Council which is a direct voilation of the treaty of Ginamock the 59th. Their actions will not be tolerated."
  • Lord Shen: "Thank you Grand Council Woman. I wish your federation luck."
  • The TV turns off.
  • Lord Shen: "Maybe I had misjudged you, Prehistoric one. I may had been too quick to judge a book by the cover."
  • Icky: "Ah, we cool. But wait, if the bad mayor shot me, how did I survived?"
  • Iago- Well, let's just say prying the bullet out of your head was not an easy task. Your lucky your skull was too think for that bullet to penintrat! It was stuck in there tight. But once we got it out, I called the others, and, well, here we are. We saved Dodge City, and lived to tell about it.
  • Icky- Well, I guess we won't be needing these clothes anymore.
  • Lord Shen- No, no, no, keep them on! I just... (Scoffs)... Want you to stand close together.
  • Iago- For what?
  • Lord Shen- Just do it.
  • Iago- Okay, okay! (Iago and Icky get closer together, and then Shen takes a picture on his cell)
  • Lord Shen- (Scoffs and laughs) Oh, gosh! Sorry guys, but YOU LOOK REDICULOUS! (Laughs)
  • Iago- Oh, ha-hah! Very funny! VERY funny! (Van flies away into the darkness of space)

THE END!

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