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*Byrd: SILENCE! Both of you! You both made this mess, now you BOTH clean it up.
 
*Byrd: SILENCE! Both of you! You both made this mess, now you BOTH clean it up.
 
*Icky/Iago: DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO! (They went outside while farting in their direction)
 
*Icky/Iago: DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO! (They went outside while farting in their direction)
*Joule:... Okay, that's just, un-necessary.
+
*Joule:... Okay, that's just, unnecessary.
 
*Byrd: The cold in this place must be getting to them... That and the low oxygen of this altitude. They're NOT high-flying birds. Granted, probably doesn't help that those two are known for, eccentric behaviors to begin with.
 
*Byrd: The cold in this place must be getting to them... That and the low oxygen of this altitude. They're NOT high-flying birds. Granted, probably doesn't help that those two are known for, eccentric behaviors to begin with.
  +
*Joule: Come on! We must help them!
  +
Mount Vitruvius
   
 
==='''Chapter 3: Escape of High Shenanigans'''===
 
==='''Chapter 3: Escape of High Shenanigans'''===

Revision as of 21:44, 6 June 2020

Icky and Iago: Lost in the Dragon Realms is the 31st Episode of Season 3B of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. With what happened with SpongeBob's crazy wish, Icky and Iago decide to take some time off. After accidentally stopping a massive robbery at one of the smart-vaults of MoneyBanks from the Thieves Guild, especially from their grand leader the Master Thief, they end up being taken hostage, and held in an unknown TG location. Luckily, the two are able to escape, and find that they are still in the Dragon Realms, but at an unknown location. And so they must travel the Dragon Realms in search of their comrades who are also looking for them. All the while, the two birdbrains end up traveling to new lands and meeting new people along the way including the beautiful Princess Zoe, who has a hateful history with Sparx, Lady Elora, a half-serious half-giddy faun from Faun Island, the return of LOS Hunter, the intelligent Professor Joule, the magical rabbit sorceress Lady Bianca, the cunning and sneaky monkey agent known as Agent IX and his 8 teammates, the penguin son of the deceased LOS version of Sgt Byrd, James Byrd Jr who wishes to be like his dad, Sheila the vigilante 'badass' celebrity girl who is almost like Tracer, Abominable Bentley, a primitive but smart Yeti from the Himalayas, alongside his younger brother Abominable Bartholomew, and many others while uncovering the Master Thief's secret plans to invade the giant gold castle-mansion of MoneyBanks' president, Sir Moneybags. Both Icky and Iago, as well as their other comrades, must now find a way to find each other again, and put a stop to the Master Thief's plan once and for all.

Transcript

Elton_John-_The_Trail_We_Blaze

Elton John- The Trail We Blaze

Intro/Montage Theme (Elton John- The Trail We Blaze)

Chapter 1: One Thing After Another

Dragon Temple

  • Kairi:... Well... I guess this is goodbye.
  • SpongeBob: (In waiter outfit) Yeah... It's still, sad, that I had to learn to let you go the hard way... And embarrassing at that.
  • Lord Shen: "And one that needlessly included a wish-granting birthday cake!"
  • Shifu: "And erased a key event in history, for that matter."
  • Spongebob: "I feel like that's gonna haunt me for awhile, isn't it?"
  • Po: "At least be glad Stacy doesn't know about this."
  • Kairi: ".... If it makes ya feel Better, Spongebob.... We can always see eachother again on holidays or celebrations.... And whenever we try another bro-sister thing with Spyro again, even if those ALWAYS seem to end in disaster."
  • Spongebob: "I'd like that Kairi. I would."
  • Thus, Kairi and Boy Sora got on the gummi ship and it blasted off....
  • Lord Shen: "..... I will say this, Square One.... Your little, escapade, did supplied us with a new secondary purpose.... Being a family. Thus, I believe it would always be assured that we're staying together no matter the current distance."
  • Shifu: "I could not said it better myself."
  • Spongebob: ".... So, I guess for now, I'm back to making Krabby Patties at a minimum wage."
  • Shifu: "Yes, but don't worry. (Gives out communicator) We are never too far behind, no matter the distance. The Lougers are still together. And the Dragon Guardian temple is still a home away from home."
  • Spongebob: "Yeah, and that's diffidently true with Icky and Iago.... Say where are those loveable birdbrains anyway."
  • Lord Shen: "They've went to Dragon Realms New York to do some shopping before they return to their separate realms. Let's hope they didn't do anything, atypical of them again."
  • Sparx: Heh. Another Brian and Stewie-style episode. I bet it's one that'll be a world-building one for this land.
  • Spyro: Eh, I wouldn't say that's a good or bad thing. Remember when you got in trouble with Princess Zoe?
  • Sparx: "Please don't bring her into this. I'm over her, now that I'm starting to earn Fire's attention."
  • Spyro: "Heh, that's surprisingly mature of you, Sparx."
  • Sparx: "Well, that and she clearly doesn't like me."
  • Cynder: "(Playfully teasey) Kinda your own fault in that, Sparx."
  • Fidget: Huh?
  • Sparx: Oh, yeah. We never told you about the times we had before the Villain League corrupted Cynder AND after we beat Malefor.... AND when Spyro and Cynder decided that maybe they weren't ready to be a couple again. See, one time, we went to the Fairy Realms, where I met, the HOTTEST fairy of them all, Princess Zoe. She's the princess of hotness.
  • Thundera: Si, we got that.
  • Sparx: Buuuut... Let's just say, back then, I had so many women problems, so I became sort've a bachelor, without Spyro and Cynder knowing. One that didn't even get a single girl.
  • Spyro: We were SUPPOSED to be helping the fairies from some fairy smugglers.
  • Sparx: C'mon, when you're exactly a fairy's size, you can't help... Extending your tail. But when they found Roman City, the most out-of-nowhere thing happened.

Cutaway

  • Drunken Fairy: (She came in buzzing around and yet in Sparx's head, she was hot) WEEEEEEEWWOOOO!! *BUUURP* Which one of you fairy men wants to gimme a big fat kiss? (Some men shivered and even the smugglers were baffled)... Alright, I'LL DO IT! (She ended up kissing Sparx on the lips)
  • Sparx:... OhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Present

  • Spyro: Everyone knows about the magic in a Fairy Realms fairy's kiss. For dragons, it makes their elemental breath, magical and affect anything no matter the defense. But when it came to other magical creatures, like a glowing dragonfly... Welll...

Cutaway

  • Sparx: I'M C***IIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!! (He fires dragon breath like a dragon brewing with magical energy) OOOOOOHHH, YEEEAAAAAHHHH, THIIIS FEELS LIKE CAAANDI TIIIIMES!!!
  • Fairy: HEY, I'M OVER THAT!
  • Sparx: WAIT, YOUR NAME IS CANDI WITH AN I?!? THAT'S HOT!!
  • Smuggler: SHUT UP, FAIRY! (He shook her cage)
  • Sparx: HEY! DON'T YOU DO THAT TO HER! (He set him on fire as he screamed comically) AND THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR ALL A YA! (He scared them with his magic, and though he chased them all away, he damaged much of Roman City)
  • Zoe: WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?!?
  • Sparx:... WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, BABY! (He kissed Zoe aggressively as she was so freaked she pushed herself away and spattered) Ahhhhh. That felt SO good.
  • (Baloo): Okay, I'm sure it went that way, but did you HAVE to be completely accurate about it?
  • (Sparx): I don't know, maybe that magic is still inside me.
  • Zoe: EECCKKH!! YOU, YOU PERVERTED DRAGONFLY!!
  • Sparx:... Wh... What just hap-PENED?!? (He saw the damage he caused)... Did I do this? PLEASE tell me I didn't do this. And if I did, HOW?!?
  • Spyro:... A drunken fairy kissed you.
  • Zoe: WHAT?!?... It was Baccha, wasn't it?
  • Baccha: (wakes up) Uuuughh! What just happened? I just recovered from another bad hangover! (Looks around and surveys the damage)... I kissed someone again, didn't I?
  • Sparx:... A fairy's kiss can do THAT?!
  • Cynder: A fairy's kiss contains powerful magic.
  • Sparx:... Uhhh... (Chuckles nervously)... Uh... Don't you just hate having your boner doing the talking?
  • Zoe:...

Present

  • Sparx: So I was banished from the Fairy Realms for life.
  • Spyro: Actually, we convinced Zoe to cut you some slack because you're still my adopted brother. AND, fairies KINDA considered you a hero.
  • Cynder: Despite Zoe's outright frustration.
  • Sparx: Well, it felt like banishment to me.
  • Lord Shen: "Ugh. Well hopefully Prehistoric One and the Loudmouth Parrot are not so easily prone to such mishaps."

Dragon Realms New York

  • Icky: (He and Iago were riding carriages in the streets of New York, which was different than was seen from before, including Gem Lamps, carriages, and sometimes cars, and magical technology)... Alright, we got what we need.
  • Iago: Wow, the Times Square Marketplace has gotten a HUGE renovation this year. It went from just being the stock appearance of typical New York to now being, this.
  • Icky: Eh, I consider 2020 a remarkable year of change. The TRUE future magic year.... Granted, the year was still off to a crap start.
  • Iago: If that's how you can put it... I'll do it too. (Familiar laughter and chuckling was heard) What the- (They saw a blue thief similar to the quick ones in the original Spyro games running through)
  • Axle: STOP! THIEF!!! (He fired electric bolts at the thief but he was too fast)
  • Thief: NA-NANA-NANA! HAHAHA!
  • Axle: DON'T MOCK ME! I ALWAYS HATED THAT LAUGH FROM BOTH THE OLD GAMES AND THE REIGNITED TRILOGY?! (He kept firing electric bolts at him) URGH! COME, ON, YOU, DAMN, BLUE, CLOWN!!
  • Icky: Wow, he must be having trouble.
  • Axle: (On radio) THIS IS OFFICER AXLE, CALLING FOR BACKUP! (Soon another thief appeared in the shadows)
  • Unknown Thief: I don't think so. (He approached a snail-elephant)... Time to make Times Square shake. (He slashed his sword on it and caused a stampede, causing traffic damage and wild animal craziness)
  • Iago: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?
  • Icky: I think I have a pretty good idea. Look! (They saw some figures in the shadows as Bullington and other UUPD cops arrived)
  • Axle: Chief! It is an ambush! (More Classic-Spyro thieves appeared from the shadows)
  • Bullington: (Dubbed as Razoul) Not in THIS city! (The thieves displayed slick moves when robbing people, including a sword-and-knife-wielding thief, acrobatic ninja thieves, a martial artist thief, a fat goofy thief, an Indian rope magician thief, triplet thieves, and so much more)
  • Iago: ".... That, feels, oddly familiar."
  • Icky: Well, this just came out of nowhere. Iago? Hold them off. I'll find somewhere safe to get the Lodgers. (He flew off as someone saw him and flew off after him)
  • Unknown Thief: Alright, now for the grand prize. (He found a bank dubbed 'MoneyBanks' with a 'Hallelujah' choir heard in the background)... Come to papa. (A piece of wood was tossed at him from behind)
  • Iago: MEET YOUR MATCH, ZORRO!!
  • Unknown Thief:... Good birdie. Polly want a little-
  • Iago: SAY 'CRACKER' AND I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT ON PRINCIPLE!! (He swung a piece of wood at him as the Unknown Thief just took it and grabbed him by the wings)
  • Unknown Thief: I must say, you have a lot of spirit... (Iago struggled and was stuffed inside a mailbox)... And a LOT of mouth, for a parrot. HAH! I crack myself up. (He walked for the place as Icky saw)
  • Icky: UGH! You had one job, Iago!
  • Iago: (From inside the mailbox) I TRIED!!
  • Icky: (He kicked the mailbox towards the MoneyBanks Bank and followed him) LET'S JUST GO STOP HIM BEFORE HE PULLS OFF A WORSE HEIST! (They went off after him as the unknown flying figure followed them with a girly giggle)

Inside Bank.

  • The Guards were already disabled as the bank tellers and visitors were already held-hostage.
  • Unknown Thief: "Alright, ya people know the drill. Get ready to enjoy our loot and then the vault afterwards, or I can't promise that I'll have to wash my robes again if I have to get "Messy", capish?"
  • ???: Sorry, buster! (Icky appeared with Iago still in the mailbox) The bank is closed!
  • Unknown Thief:... HAH! Are YOU the Lodgers' jesters?
  • (Iago): I RESENT THAT, YOU NIMROD!!!
  • Icky: No speed for you this time. We have you cornered! There's two of us, and only one of you!
  • ???: Wow, you must suck at math even worse than me, baby. Because there's TWO of him. (They were both turned into sheep with the mailbox popping open when Iago was transformed)
  • Icky: BAAAAAA!!
  • Iago: BAAAAAA?!?!
  • Unknown Thief: Well, what took YOU so long, my love? (A female genie appeared)
  • Genie Woman: It's Times Square, schnookums.
  • Unknown Thief: GEE NEE!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!
  • Iago: BAAAAAAAAAA!!
  • Thief 1: "Master Thief, we've got the vault opened! That moolah is ready to go!"
  • Master Thief: Excellent! Let's split.
  • Iago: BAAAAAAAA!!! (They ran off but accidentally turned on the sprinklers spraying water everywhere and shortening the power to the room, causing everyone to hit each other and end up allowing the police to bust in and arrest all the thieves minus a few and Master Thief, who teleport away with help from Gee Nee)
  • Axle: "Oh good, we were able to catch SOME of these sheep! Thanks to the two- (Sees Icky and Iago as sheep)..... Sheep?"
  • Jennet: "Uh oh, I think Icky and Iago met Master Thief's Genie."
  • Axle: "WAIT, THOSE SHEEP ARE THE LOUGERS?!"
  • Icky: "BAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!"
  • Iago: "BAAAAAAAAAA?!"
  • Axle: ".... I'm gonna assume that's a yes."
  • Bullington: "I'll be sure the Lougers are notified."
  • Stacy comes in!
  • Stacy: "This is Stacy Mill Rumorsica, and-"
  • Bullington: "Hey, miss, you have to leave, this is a crime scene!"
  • Stacy: "I EXERCISE MY RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF THE PRESS?!"
  • Axle: "Hey, get lost before ya become a new Popeyes' Chicken Recipe, lady?!"
  • Stacy: "(Quietly) Ohh, a corrupt cop story! Keep talking, eel boy, I can use that!"
  • Axle: "I SAID SCRAM, BITCH?!"
  • The Cops began forcing Stacy out!
  • Icky: "BAAAA?! BAAAAAA?! BAA BAA BAA BAAAAAA?!"
  • Jennet: "Sorry, you two will have to find a way to get normal without us!"
  • The cops go forword out!
  • Icky: ".... (DOES THE GOAT SCREAM?!)"
  • Iago: "Baa baaaaaa."
  • A Fairy happened to be there and saw the duo.
  • Fairy: ".... (Quietly) Those two are gonna need my help. (Gets to the two sheepifived duo) Excuse me, Lougers, I could help you back to being birdbrains again."
  • Icky: Baaa?
  • Fairy: ".... Okay, this is gonna be hard without you guys speaking English.... Okay, One Baa for yes, two baas for no, understand?"
  • Icky:... Baaa.
  • Fairy: Alright. (She transformed them back)
  • Icky: OH YES, MY JEFF BENNETT VOICE IS BACK!! THANK YOU!!!
  • Fairy:... Are you okay? I can assume you tried to beat Master Thief and came across his genie girlfriend?
  • Icky: GENIE, girlfriend?
  • Iago: Wow. He's got a genie? Well, damn! How're we gonna beat him now?... Who are you anyway?
  • Fairy:... My name is Princess Zoe, leader of the Fairy Realms of South America. I was here to inform the Shell Lodgers about some evil plot involving the Master Thief.
  • Iago: Wait... Zoe? OH, you mean the one Sparx told us about.
  • Zoe: OH, GOD! DO NOT BRING THAT UP! THAT WAS AN EMBARRASSING TIME! EECCKH! I mean, no personal offense to your group considering his membership, but-
  • Icky: "We know, this was before the Lougers and what Sparx likely did was I'm sure disgusting and immapprobeate. But if it helps, he's into another Dragonfly that normally hangs out with a King Cobra, and I believe that Sparx has grown up abit."
  • Zoe: "All the same, I wish that girl some LUCK! Cause that guy, looks like he's high maintenance to cope with!"
  • Iago: "Ahem, ya said something that "Master Thief" guy planning something big?"
  • Zoe: Oh, yes indeed. Ahem. Master Thief and Gee Nee are both planning a master heist on MoneyBanks Headquarters.
  • Icky: Is he now?
  • Zoe: He is now.
  • Iago: Hey, we dealt with genies before. You just gotta destroy their lamp.
  • Zoe: Gee Nee is a free genie.
  • Iago/Icky:.... DAMMIT!
  • Icky: Which means she's unstoppable, and by extension, Master Thief.
  • Zoe: Why do you think the Thieves Guild is so expansive? They're everywhere. I came after the Thieves Guild started getting more active in South America. Many of my fellow fairies have been kidnapped for the pet trade.
  • Iago: UGH! No respect for tiny hotties, am I right?
  • Zoe: Watch it, buddy, I've put up with s*** like that from Sparx as is, I don't want to have to include you two into the list of people I have to give royal restraining orders to! Espeically not now when I have earnest need of you two!
  • Iago: YIKES, WOMAN!... I like you. You don't take s*** from anyone.
  • Zoe: Well, don't get attached. I just need the Lodgers' help to save my people.
  • Icky: Ehh, they're kinda occupied at the moment taking a separation break that's now starting to be a thing when Kairi doesn't need protection from the League anymore.
  • Zoe: SERIOUSLY?! THE DRAGON REALMS ARE IN A GLOBAL THIEF INVASION, AND THEY'RE GOING OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE?!?
  • Iago: Well, on top of that, they promised Kairi they'd help her pack her things to move to Destiny Islands given she's... Married with Sora now.
  • Zoe:... Wow. Congratulations. Though I think I can understand why these thieves have gotten so bold recently. They think the Lougers are a non-issue now that they started to take breaks since Kairi is no longer cult bait.
  • Icky: None needed, and the league's not nessersarly a cult. Cult-like maybe, but not one in serious nature. Besides, if it helps, we are still an active group otherwise, as now our new secondary purpose is being a family. That happened cause, SpongeBob had a little... Incident, when coping with Kairi being a retired element of the series. Also, uh, oh yeah, THIEVES ARE INVADING EVERYWHERE?!?
  • Zoe: Yes. As before, I'm guessing these guys think the Lougers are no real concern anymore now that you guys will start to separate temporarily until ya find a new problem. And boy, are they taking this for granted! MoneyBanks Banks are being raided all over the world.
  • Iago: WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT! They're raiding everything everywhere on this world, AND they got an all-powerful free genie on their side, AND while the other Lougers got preoccupied with something else?! AND ONCE AGAIN, I'M SO TICKED OFF THAT I'M MOLTING!!
  • Icky: "Ugh, we're gonna end up taking a hit in reputation if Stacy puts two and two together here?! I'm gonna have to make sure I talk to Shen about this and about implementing a way for us to still be in the Dragon Guardian Temple for at least on normal weekdays and to only do our own thing on the weekends and implement some kinda system about crud happening during off-times!"
  • Zoe: Ahem. Something for you guys to figure out later. Let's just focus on the intermediate first, THEN worry about waits to prevent further surprises, okay? That said.... There ARE ways to unfree a Genie.
  • Icky: There are?
  • Zoe: Yeah. I mean, there's some genie magic books about rebinding a genie to a lamp or bottle if they prove unworthy to be free, like when they abuse their infinite power. And I can imagine getting with criminals counts as such.
  • Icky: Then why didn't you just use that when she showed up?
  • Zoe: You think I hadn't tried?

Cutaway

  • Zoe: (She buzzed in to find the Fairy Library ransacked)... (The camera panned off far away so that Zoe's cursing and angry rage was squeaky)

Present

  • Zoe: Gee Nee took all genie books.
  • Iago: Hey, there's magic books in the library. I bet there's one about genies there.

Library

  • Icky: Got any books about dealing with free genies?
  • Librarian: No, sorry. A free genie came in and bought all the copies.
  • Icky: DAMMIT, that's the 57th library with that same story! And I bet the Dragon Guardian Temple Libary had some copies taken too!
  • Zoe: Like I said, Gee Nee is a smart woman, even inspite sometimes acting like a giggly cunt.
  • Icky: F*******************!!
  • Everyone: SSSHHH!
  • Icky:... (Quietly) F************************!
  • Everyone: (Quietly) LANGUAGE!

Outside

  • Icky: UGH!
  • Zoe: Ahem. Well, since the Lodgers are, busy with helping their grown-up princess, and that likely you guys are the best I can have at the moment, how about you two just fill in for them and help out?
  • Icky: "Ya know we can just call with them our communicators and-"
  • Zoe: "Let's be honest boys, those things likely didn't survived your little sprinkler surprise."
  • The Duo looked at their ruined communicators....
  • Iago: Frick... Eh, beats sitting around here complaining about having nothing better to do.
  • Icky: Let's head out, babe.
  • Zoe:... And for the record... (She zapped him in the balls as he did this)
ANK!!

ANK!!

  • Zoe: DON'T, CALL ME BABE!
  • Icky: AHHHAH, OKAY, PAMELA ANDERSON, JESUS!! OHHO, I THINK SHE JUST MADE MY BALLS DISAPPEAR!!
  • Zoe: "Don't worry, that's only the numbing sensation, it wears off eventually."
  • Icky: "And now I'm back to being scared of tiny people with bug wings again like with the History Sprites. Owwwww."
  • Zoe: "Then that teaches you to not underestimate fairies just because we're like tiny flying dolls to you."
  • Icky: Sex dolls or regular dolls-
  • Zoe: BOOOOTH!!!
  • Icky/Iago: "AAAAAAAAH?!"
  • Iago: "Now I'm scared of tiny people with bug wings!"
  • Zoe: GOOD! I'd rather be feared than loved.
  • Iago: I'd prefer the other way around, but there's ALWAYS too much of a good thing.
  • Icky: Whatever, let's just go to the SA.

South American Rainforest

  • Zoe: (They teleported there) Here we are.
  • Iago: WHOAHOA! That was quick.
  • Zoe: Well, our homes were bad enough since we're STILL recovering from the 2019 Magic Fritz, but so far it's been going well.... Mostly.
  • ???: Zoe! You're back! (A glasses-wearing fairy appeared) Did you tell the Lodgers about our situation?
  • Zoe: No, no, Miss Bubbles, they're occupied on some... Princess business.
  • Bubbles: AGAIN?! My magical spell scrolls have all been SWIPED, and THEY'RE doing something else?!
  • Zoe: I KNOW! In fact, it may have been why the thieves became so bold recently! It almost makes me wish the League didn't decide to give up that hiatused plan because it took too long and that the guy who made it turned out to be crazy! But these two are all we got of them.
  • Bubbles:... The jesters? Seriously? I would've rather you brought the dragonfly back, cause at least he'll be connected to the Purple Dragon and Cynder!
  • Iago: Watch it, sister.
  • Zoe: Sorry about her. This is my secretary and master mage scribe, Bubbles.
  • Icky: Heheh. Cute name.
  • Bubbles: CUTE?!?
  • Zoe:... And she doesn't like being hit on as much as I don't.
  • Icky: "Hey whoa, easy, I meant cute as a platonic compliment, I have a griffin girlfriend!"
  • Iago: "And I'm all good with a rainbow weather bird!"
  • Bubbles: "Still not crazy with being called "Cute" though! I have a bad association with that word from guys who are PERVS about it!"
  • Icky: "Is that gonna be true with every fairy? Even the dudes?"
  • Bubbles: If it involves the opposite gender, yes. Love HAS no boundaries.
  • Zoe: It's true. We may not be an easily f***able size, but the next best thing would be having a little person playing with your unmentionables. YEEEEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!
  • Icky: Touche. So, where's your fairy buddies?
  • Iago: "And I hope their situation isn't too difficult to handle."
  • Zoe: Too bad, it is. THAT'S why we made such a big deal about you all not being here. There's too many thieves.
  • Iago: AAAHGH!
  • Zoe: CAN YOU NOT SCREAM YOUR DRY GILBERT GOTTFRIED VOICE?!? IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAT WITH LARYNGITIS!!
  • Iago: What'd you expect? I'm a parrot.
  • Zoe: Whatever, look, all my friends KINDA need help. I REFUSE to allow Isabelle, Calliope, Liz, Flora, Cookie, Doodles, Clara, Dotty, and most importantly, Persephone and her squad, to be PETS! Or at worse, sex slaves for people's perverse pleasures!
  • Iago: Wow, with fairies with SOME names like those, they'd SOUND like pets.
  • Zoe: INDEED! It's APPALLING! I've taken a LOT of flirting and humiliation over my years as leader of the Fairy Realms, but THIS, THIS is where I draw the line!
  • Icky: Hasn't this happened before?
  • Zoe: Not since THAT time with Sparx. Seriously, it's SO annoying that ONE master heist for MoneyBanks HQ is enough to get ALL the thieves coming out at the same time.
  • Icky: (Sighs) We'll see what we can do. Just direct us to where the guys of this location are hiding out in.
  • Bubbles: "They went somewhere east, possibly where an old Ape Base resides from back in the times before the rebirth."
  • Iago: "Then that's where we're going."

The abandoned Ape Base.

  • The Thieves gathered up the fairies in cages, as the operation is monitored by an Arpeggio-looking Parrot.
  • Thief Assistant: "Good news, Count Winnipeggus, the fairies are ready for sale."
  • Count Winnipeggus: "(Chuckles), Yeees. I could not ask for a better way to celebrate the Lougers' self-easing by having the perfect new pet items for my black market pet trade! The guild will make a FORTUNE from these little beauties!"
  • Thief assistant: "Even if that customer might be a perv?"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "Now now, Tomas, we're not in the business to question the motives of customers. We're in the business of having a non-law sanctioned operation."
  • Tomas: "I know sir, just checking."
  • Count Winnipeggus: "So, are all fairies accounted for?"
  • Tomas: "..... Ehhhhhh, the queen and her sidekick kinda proved too difficult to catch, so-"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "YOU DIDN'T CATCH THE QUEEN?! Oh now she's gonna become a problem for us and risk having the Lougers' alarmed?! YOU BUNGLER?!"
  • Tomas: "Uh, don't, don't worry sir, I thought ahead and asked for a super scary mercenary to go after her!"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "Which one?"
  • Tomas: "Well, he's basically a defect Ape that's gone to the mercenary life. That guy is a REAL BEAST, believe me! He claims to be the brother of Gaul, but-"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "(Surprised face) You hired Helheim the Gore Master? HE'S TOO OVERKILL FOR EVEN THE FAIRY QUEEN?! HE'LL END UP' BRINGING HER BACK DEAD, EVEN IF IT'S JUST BLOOD ON HIS WRIST BLADES?! Also, HE DOES NOT COME CHEAP?! I'm gonna have to give all my profits!"
  • Tomas: "Don't worry sir, I asked him to bring the queen and the scribe back alive!"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "Well, good, BUT HE'S STILL GONNA BE EXPENSIVE TO PAY BACK?! Ugh, at least there's the hope that maybe he'll be the guy that would cream those misfits should they get involved now! OH NOW I'M WORRIED HE'LL CHARGE EXTRA IF THEY GET INVOLVED?!"
  • Tomas: We'll figure it out, okay?! Also, the apes have been recovering from a bad reputation lately. Not ALL apes are loyal to Malefor and the Villain League. It's like... Unmentionable real-life terrorists... Their actions affect their own people too. Plus, some that used to serve Malefor are STILL cursed into being living skeletons.
  • Count Winnipeggus: That's the thing. HE used to serve Malefor too, until he had the smarts to realize that Malefor was too evil for his own good and left before he could suffer the same curse his followers suffered. Now that the Dragon Realms are reformed, he has to make a new name for himself. No rules but his own. And his rules, are absolutely risky for those who hire him. He's not called the 'Gore Master' for nothing. He's the Grim Reaper. He never leaves without taking a soul!
  • Tomas: Well, there's a first time for everything. Tomas isn't even my real name. I just stole it from one of the Dragons that helped settlers rebuild the Dragon Realms after the Great Cleansing. The warrior bard.
  • Count Winnipeggus:... Why? And what's your real name?
  • Tomas:... Because I wanted respect, and... Gaylord.
  • Count Winnipeggus:... (Scoffs into hysterical laughter)
  • Tomas: SEE, THIS IS WHY I CHANGED IT!! A NAME LIKE TOMAS GIVES ME RESPECT!!
  • Count Winnipeggus: Sorry, it's just, if you wanted respect, do it in a way that doesn't paint you as a guy stealing the name of a heroic crusader dragon. Plus, YOU STOLE HIS NAME?!? YOU DO KNOW THAT ALL THOSE DRAGONS ARE STILL ALIVE, RIGHT?! IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN THAT LONG SINCE THE CRUSADES!!! YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT BAD ATTENTION TO ME!!
  • Tomas: Look, Tomas is a Spanish equivalent to Thomas, okay?! It's not an uncommon name. In fact, names like Jesus or Adolf aren't uncommon either. When you have a name like that, of COURSE people are going to take it badly. LIKE ME! I didn't technically STEAL it since it's a common name. So, we're safe.
  • Count Winnipeggus:... Ugh! Don't EVER scare me like that again... (Scoffs) Gaylord! (He burst into laughter)
  • Tomas: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Well, say goodbye to this fairy sale, MISTER!
  • Count Winnipeggus: NONONO, SORRY, IT'S JUST, I HAD TO LET IT OUT! Ahem. Look, let's just get this smuggling business over with, and hopefully before this Helheim finishes his job. I want to be able to at least make enough profit that can survive that ape's prices!
  • Tomas: "We'll worry about that when we start crossing that bridge, sir."

Later...

  • Icky: (They saw how different the Dragon Realms Amazon Rainforest was to the original, as it was an enchanted rainforest of magical creatures, seeing its beauty as this played)
01_"Life_Is_a_Magic_Thing"_-_Johnny_Clegg

01 "Life Is a Magic Thing" - Johnny Clegg

  • Zoe: Meh.
  • Iago: MEH?!?
  • Zoe: Um, when you live in this paradise, you get used to it.
  • Iago A-... Okay, good point. But still, you're lucky, your highness.
  • Zoe: Well, when you're STILL recovering from the 2019 Magic Fritz, AND the one who caused it said magic was for idiots, you don't seem to get into it as you should.
  • Icky:... (Sighs) I know we say this a lot, but, THANKS A LOT, STAR!!
  • Iago: So, aren't you glad you got this beauty back?
  • Zoe: Buddy, this is only the tip of the iceberg. What you saw was NOTHING compared to what the Fairy Realms TRULY is. In fact, this scenery is poultry compared to what we can have!
  • Icky: "I would imagine that's saying a lot since you reacted to all this as if it was "Oh-Hum" typical!"
  • Zoe: Well, when you've seen it all, it makes ruling the land easier.... I've had to play it serious since my parents died in the Great Cleansing. I had to watch my parents die when I was keeping the Fairy Realms together. If that wasn't bad enough, we had little to work with since everything was changed. We went to poverty, and, well, the smuggler problem Spyro, Cynder, and... The other guy, had to deal with came.... When you're the leader, you can't even waste time on love. That, and we fairies have our dignity.
  • Iago:... Well, if it's any consolation, your home is pretty. Almost as pretty as you.
  • Zoe: I get that a lot.
  • ???: GUYS! (Two fairies appeared)
  • Zoe: Persephone?! Calliope?!
  • Icky: Wait, these two, escaped?!
  • Zoe: They ARE the leaders of my royal mage guard. They defended us well in the war against Malefor.
  • Persephone: And you would not BELIEVE what I have been through TONIGHT!

Cutaway

  • Thug: Wow. You're pretty.
  • Persephone: Yeah yeah, pretty fairy, blah blah, just get us out of here, big guy.
  • Thug:... Well... I would, but boss's orders. But... Maybe we can work something out. I can blow you guys out with a spell... But you must help me with some relief.
  • Persephone: WHA, GROSS! NO WAY, NO HOW, WE FAIRIES HAVE OUR DIGNITY!!
  • Thug: No boom-boom, no, BOOM-boom!
  • Persephone:... And what's to stop us from buzzing away?
  • Thug: I just gotta scream and you'll be in enchanted nets quickly.
  • Persephone:...
  • Calliope: Ugh!
  • Persephone:...

Present

  • Persephone: I had to bathe for HOURS!!
  • Calliope: Me too!!
  • Icky: I feel so sorry for you two.
  • Persephone: Don't take pity on me. We've had to do WORSE!... MUUUCH, WOOOORSE!!!
  • Calliope: And for a small creature, you do NOT want us to name all of them.
  • Iago: OKAY, TOO MUCH INFO! AT LEAST YOU GUYS ARE OKAY!
  • Thug: (He peeked out) JUST KIDDING!!
  • Persephone: JEEZAHH!!!
  • Thug: THIS'LL COVER-UP OUR SILLY DEAL!! AHAHAHA! Winnipeggus won't have my head for this when I- (Suddenly, something shot him to the ground from behind, revealing himself to be an ape' like Gaul)
  • Iago: "..... Did we, just got rescued by Gaul?"
  • Ape: "Can you kindly NOT confuse me for my brother?! I no longer want anything to do with his crazed intentions for Malefor!"
  • Icky: "Wait, Gaul's you're bro? Gaul had a brother? Did Spyro and Cynder knew this?"
  • Iago: "Well I'm sure the subject would've come up long ago, so I assume NOT!"
  • Ape: "Perhaps proper introductions are in order. I, am Helheim the Gore Master."
  • Icky: "Subtle."
  • Helheim: "Hey, it's about presentation as a mercenary. Anyway, I was hired by a Thieves Guilder that was working with this fool's superior to capture the queen and her scribe. But in light that the idiot caused two additional fairies to escape and that the Lougers' clowns are involved.... Well, just an extra reason to add to the price of my services, especially since Count Winnipeggus is a very rich black marketer."
  • Icky: "Ugh, figures you only killed this dumbass so ya can make easy payments."
  • Helheim: "Hey, don't take it personally. I'm a mercenary. I'm not legally allowed to question the ethics of temporary employers. Believe me, I did favors for, worse people than a black market pet-trader parrot, and sometimes for less."
  • Iago: "Not exactly a very noble life."
  • Helheim: "WELL THANKS TO MY BROTHER'S STUPIDITY, IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN GET A NORMAL JOB?! Apes have a hated reputation in this world."
  • Icky: "Well it's not helping your bro and his guys are with the Villain League, so-"
  • Helheim: NOT ALL APES SERVE MALEFOR, YOU MORONS!!! The rest are still in our homeland of the Ape Kingdom. And THEY had to suffer Malefor's curse because of what MY brother and others did.
  • Iago: Wait... THEY'VE BEEN SKELETONS SINCE SPYRO AND CYNDER WENT INTO THAT TIME CRYSTAL?!?
  • Helheim:... You never noticed this... FOR ALL THESE YEARS?!?
  • Icky: Hey, we thought his magic was gone since he was defeated.
  • Helheim: And you never bothered to check?!
  • Iago:... I'm, tempted to say yes... But-
  • Helheim: "(Angerly) IIIIIIII?! (Icky and Iago got scared as they hid behind the fairies)...... (Sighs calming down)..... (Sadly) Can't blame you for your ignorance. I won't pretend that my brother didn't paint a false image for Ape kind. I'd imagined as far as you two or even Spyro and Cynder would care to know, that we apes are nothing but mindless savages that recklessly helped an evil dragon to be freed and contributed to the disastrous cleansing! I can't be mad at people for making assumptions."
  • Icky: "(Still frighten) Look, buddy, if it helps, we'll talk to the other Lougers about it and we'll work to fix it. I'm sure if Cynder and Spyro found out that not all apes are with yer bro, any pre-conceived notions will die faster then bugs vs. Raid!"
  • Helheim: "How can I trust that? Espeically to guys I just admitted that I only "helped" from this idiot to help myself and to be able to extend my price-range?"
  • Icky: All you had to do was ask. Plus, as a pretty scary bounty hunter, I'm sure that this Winnipeggus guy will betray you out of fear. Especially because ya killed one of his guys.
  • Helheim:... Well... I am no stranger to being betrayed out of fear, nor because of biting the hands that paid me.... Very well. I shall help you free the fairies.
  • Zoe: Seriously? It was THAT easy?!
  • Persephone: WHAT THE F***ATAUR?!?
  • Icky: "Hey, you ladies are about not being underestimated just because ya look adorable, right? Well just because me and Iago are no Shens or Spyros and Cynders, doesn't mean we're automatically the weak-links. Our best power is hijinks, and that these us-centric episodes always seem to give us villains that aren't exactly competent or narratively original and that we're able to guess what these guys would do at some point."
  • Zoe: ".... Well, then, in that case, I'm willing to say I'm actually impressed. I'm willing to believe that we're in good enough hands."
  • Icky: I hope so.

Meanwhile...

  • Count Winnipeggus: GET YOUR KIESTERS INTO GEAR, YOU BIG BITCHES!! TIME IS MONEY!! MONEY THAT YOU WON'T GET IF I DON'T SEE ALL THOSE FAIRIES IN THE TRUCK!!
  • Thug 1: "Wait, you mean we won't get time neither?"
  • Thug 2: "Holy crud, he's a time wizard!"
  • Tomas: ".... Ugghhhh, why is it that bad guys always have to have dumbasses on board?"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "Because smart henchmen think too much for themselves and bear a risk of a betrayal factor. Not to mention that dumb minions are cost-effective and cheaper. At this point, getting henchmen is like craigslist. It's SO hard to find smart henchmen these days. Henchlist isn't as popular on Mugshotra as it used to be in the golden days."
  • Tomas: I still feel like ya could've gotten better henchmen
  • Countwinnipeggus: Besides the point. ALRIGHT, GET THEM IN THE TRUCK, OR WE'LL GET PRETTY DIR... ANGRY!
  • Thug 1: Dirangry?
  • Tomas: Oh for f***'s sake! (Helheim was heard screeching and pounded his chest and jumped in freeing fairies all over the place)
  • Count Winnipeggus: WHAT THE- HELHEIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET THOSE LODGERS AWAY FROM US, NOT DO THEIR JOB FOR THEM!! IS THIS A MERCENARY TACTIC TO GET A HIGHER PAY?!
  • Helheim: "Actually, you don't have to worry about payment anymore! I've been convinced that your money isn't worth the trouble!"
  • Count Winnipeggus: ".... I want to say that's a relief, but considering you're freeing my new products in those fairies, I FEEL LIKE THIS ISN'T NESSERSARY A GOOD THING?!"
  • Tomas: "Ugh, hate it when the Lougers get into people's heads like this."
  • Count Winnipeggus: "MEN?! GET THE FAIRIES?!"
  • The Thugs clumsily try to catch the fairies but fail in spectacular ways!
  • Tomas: "..... Yeeeeeaaaaaahhh, I think it's time for me to return to the boss and warn him of this complication, uh, sorry count, but you're on yer own now. (Makes a run for it!)"
  • Count Winnipeggus: "WAIT?! I'M YOUR GUILD'S RICHEST BENEFACTOR?! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE?!"
  • Helheim: It's over, Winnipeggus!
  • Winnipeggus:... WHY?!? Why would you side with THEM?!
  • Helheim: You underestimate the true pain of us apes. The apes that followed my brother into the Villain League, brought the curse of Malefor upon my people. When you used to serve them but see Malefor's treachery before you suffer the curse, AND end up being one of the last uncursed apes in the Dragon Realms... How would YOU feel if THESE people offer to help your people? Apes have been discriminated, for what Gaul's forces did. That ends NOW! Starting with taking care of YOU!
  • Winnipeggus:... PLEASE tell me what Tomas said about not leaving without killing anyone is wrong.
  • Helheim: That was only a fabrication to strike fear in my enemies. I haven't killed a single soul since before the curse. And starting after one of your more pervy henchmen that tried to go back on making a deal to release two fairies in your capture-
  • Winnipeggus/Half of the other thugs: "DAMN IT, RONALD!!"
  • Helheim: -I never will again. You have no idea what it was like, to be one of the last uncursed apes since Malefor turned his back on us. I was able to avoid the same fate, and even my own kind turned me away. And after all that, Gaul and his dumb monkeys STILL serve him and the Villain League. Sure, he became less self-serving and more actually devoted to Malefor, BUT THAT MAKES IT WORSE?! Their greed and lust for power, is blind to what they suffered! I TRIED for years to get my brother back, but he is just too stubborn. Honestly, I'm not surprised. He was ALWAYS stubborn. Now because of that stubbornness, he's become the Apes' Public Enemy #1. At this point, he's DEAD to me.
  • Icky: Eh, I blame that on the darkness that he was bathed into.
  • Winnipeggus: STAY BACK! I'm warning you! You wouldn't hit a diabetic, would you?!
  • Iago: ".... Wow, you have diabetes, and yet you're working in the criminal underworld?"
  • Winnipeggus: "I was prone to eat entire bags of sugar in my youth."
  • Icky: "Yup, that'll do it! Well great, now we're at risk for feeling bad about being up someone with a health problem!"
  • Bubbles: "Watch this. (Snaps her fingers that does something to Winnipeggus)...."
  • Winnipeggus: "..... Wait, (Checks on the diabetes monitor) I, I don't believe it?! My Diabetes?! I'm cured?! IT'S A MIRACLE?! I'M CURED, I'M CURED, I'M- (Realises his situation)..... Uh-oh."
  • Iago: "And now we'll no longer feel so bad about kicking your ass."
  • Winnipeggus: "..... I'll, give everyone a free exotic pet? (They beat him up) WHAAAAAOW?!"
  • Iago: OH, LADIES?!? I think he and his morons would like to be escorted to prison.
  • Winnipeggus: NO WE WOULD NOT-
  • Iago: Too late! Buh-bye! (They were escorted away by the fairies)
  • Persephone: SO LONG, JACKHOLES!!! (Chuckles)
  • Icky: "Well, apart from Tomas running off, I think this is a mission well done."
  • Bubbles: "Weeeeeellll, yes and no. As you would imagine, we're not the only nation having problems with the Thieves Guild."
  • Icky: "Figures. So are we going to do a tour of the planet then?"
  • Zoe: "Well, give or take "We" as in, you guys. You two are gonna need to visit the other lands to help with their problems as well. And I can't promise they'll be as bone-headed as Winnipeggus turned out to be, espeically since Tomas escaped and WILL tell Master Thief of this."
  • Icky: "Fair enough, this IS the start of the episode after all. No problem, folks. Me and Iags got the message. The Icky and Iago world tour, IS ON!"
  • The duo flew off as the fairies and Helheim watch them leave....
  • Zoe: ".... They forgot to ask me about which nation has problems."
  • Icky's voice: "Don't worry, we read the description, we know what the Plot wants us to go to!"
  • Bubbles: "..... Wow. We were just rescued, by two birdbrains."
  • Zoe:... Ugh, I HATE being a cartoon.

Later...

  • Icky: So... How do we get to these other locations?
  • Iago: Hell if I know.
  • ???: TAKE YOUR STINKING HANDS OFF ME, DAMMIT! (A penguin was seen being escorted by thieves)
  • Penguin: DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? I AM JAMESON BYRD JR!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER WAS?!?
  • Thief #1: Let me guess, Jameson Byrd Sr?
  • Thief #2: Wait, you mean the founder of Byrd Lands who died in the war against Malefor? WOW! That must be a DAMN shame to lose your pops like that. (The two laughed)
  • Byrd: EEERGGHH! When I get out of this and get my dad's DBX-9 rocket launchers and jet pack, I'LL BLOW YOU APART AND HAVE YOUR CHUNKS FOR SUPPER!!... Or just slap your bitch faces.
  • Thief #1: Gross.
  • Byrd: WE'VE EATEN WORSE IN THE MILITARY!!
  • Icky and Iago look at eachother....
  • Icky: ".... Ladies and gents? Our needed helper guy."
  • Byrd: "Just HOW did you scoundrels catch me so easily?! My location is always top secret?!"
  • ???: "(French Accent) Let's just say, (A Vulture in uniform came in) You messed with the wrong vulture, Byrd."
  • Byrd: "(Unsurprised but disappointed stare) La Vautour. I should've figured as much. Sad your failure to let go what happened in the academy drove you to benefit thieves of all people."
  • Vautour: " LE SILENCE?! You have stolen the most beautiful hummingbird from me and got to be with the most beautiful girl in the academy?!"
  • Byrd: "For goodness sake man, she didn't even KNEW you were into her! You were always reclusive!"
  • Vautour: "I'll have none of your excuses?! Now, hand me the secret plans for making a lamp that can't be wished free from?! Master Thief would pay handsomely having those plans destroyed?!"
  • Byrd: "And disappoint Senator Tricorn? Vau, you know I don't like being a disappointment."
  • Vautour: "Oh, is that why you try to live up to the legacy of your father? That Penguin stood up to the monsters of Le Malefor, even at the cost of life?! You? You could barely handle two robed midgets!"
  • Thief 1: "We have names ya know."
  • Byrd: "Hey, in my defense, you cheated in that front by alarming them of my location! I wasn't supposed to be caught!"
  • Vautour: "Well now, you will be another name in the defeat-pile of history, as now the Lougers easing from always being present in the Dragon Realms, is at an end!"
  • Vautour was hit with a pebble!"
  • Icky's voice: "We're happy enough to have Shen work something out so this place doesn't turn into a sticky-finger playground, corpse-breath?!"
  • Icky and Iago charged as the swooped by the surprised Thieves and Vautour!
  • Vautour: "GAAAAH?! MEN?! (Soldier Dogs appeared) SHOOT THEM DOWN?!"
  • The Soldier Dogs began firing at where Icky and Iago are' as the duo kept dodging!
  • Iago: "We probably should've done a better plan?!"
  • Icky: "Yeah, but at least it's good to know that bad guys inherently are bad shots!"
  • Soldier Dog 1: "(He and others were comedically firing the guns at random and comedic directions) Man these birds are elusive?!"
  • Vautour: "..... WHAT ARE YOU FOOLS DOING?! THAT IS NOT WHAT WE COVERED IN TRAINING?!" (They accidentally shot Byrd's cage open, freeing him)... (He shot them both dead) DAMN HENCHLIST!!
  • The Two Thieves made a run for it!
  • Byrd: (He got a high-tech rocket-launcher backpack and jet-pack on) Many thanks for your contribution, great and noble birds.
  • Iago: Hey, alot of that were the dumb mutts being dumb mutts, everything else is just part of being Birdbrains.
  • Byrd: Speaking of birdbrains, I got one to take care of!
  • Vautour: Zut alors! Uh, heheh, let's talk about this, Byrd. It, it wasn't anything personal.
  • Byrd: Regardless, kidnapping the commander-in-chief of the Byrd Lands is a seriously punishable crime. NOBODY, f***s around with MY dad's land and lives to tell about it. NOBODY!
  • Vautour:... Uh... Mommy? (He was blasted into the sky cartoonishly with his rocket launchers)
  • Icky: Wow! Good for him he can fly.... Right?
  • Byrd: No idea. Never seen him do it. But it's his loss. Hello, worthy heroes. Sergeant James Byrd Jr. Commander of the military in the Byrd Lands of Antarctica, at your service.
  • Icky: "Antarctica? But, that guy referenced Humming Birds, how does that make sense?"
  • Byrd: "Our HQ insides are warm and very greenhouse-like."
  • Icky: "Okay, fair enough."
  • Byrd: "Well, pity those Thief accomplices of Vautour got away before they got their fair share of justice. No matter, when I ensure the plans for a lamp that can't be wished free from are safe within HQ, those two will regret their cowardice soon enough."
  • Icky: "Ya don't mind if we help ya out, do ya? I suspect Frenchy will come back for round 2 and will try to get more guys after us!"
  • Byrd: "Normally I'd be strict about outside assistance, but one, you two are of the Lougers, and 2, you said a very valid point. The reinforcement is welcomed, gentlemen."
  • Icky: Well, let's get cold... Not the way I wanted that to come out.

Chapter 2: The Indestructible Lamp Project/Byrd Lands/A Thing About Yetis

Unknown Area.

  • Master Thief: "HOLY CRUD, TOMAS, REALLY?!"
  • Tomas: "I'm sorry Boss, but it's true! Those birdbrains ruined the black market pet trade!"
  • Master Thief: ".... AND YOU DIDN'T STAY TO HELP THE BENEFACTOR?!"
  • Tomas: "Well, Helheim turned unprofessionally traitor, and-"
  • Master Thief: "ZIP IT, TOMMY!! Ya just lost my respect! Gee, I got ya another practice dummy for ya! He's EXTRA STUPID!"
  • Tomas: "Sir, please, we need to warn the other benefactors?!"
  • Master Thief: "NO! We're keeping quiet about this! I don't want the operation to fall apart because even if only TWO Lodgers are on their case! We're sticking to the plan! GEE, YA COMING?! YOUR NEW PRACTICE DUMMY'S NOT FRYING HIMSELF!??
  • Tomas: "No, no please?! BOSS?! BOSS?!"
  • Gee Nee: (She zapped him from behind, turning him into a frog)... HAHA! Ah, that never gets old.
  • Master Thief: Hehe, you sneaky little snake.
  • Gee Nee: Oh, MT, you flatterer. (The two kissed) So, the fairy trade was a big flop, huh?
  • Master Thief: Yeah, basically. Dang shame, cause it looked like Winnipeggy would've made a killing buck with those bug-winged people! But hopefully, they won't know about those plans for an indestructible genie lamp that you can't free a genie from.
  • Gee Nee: Exactly! Glad we captured the ONLY person in the world who knows about it. If that lamp is allowed to be created, we genies, with our phenomenal cosmic power, will be threatened by an itty-bitty inescapable and unwishable living space. Genies will be threatened by it's existence. Even the freed ones. And not just from heroes against rogue free genies, but those who want to enslave genies for their own selfish needs. That lamp is as dangerous as it is useful.
  • Master Thief: Hopefully, that penguin will be in our custody faster than you can say- (He answered his iPhone that buzzed in the tone of a burglary alarm as he looked at it)... WHAT?!?... Okay, I'll call you back. (He hung up)
  • Gee Nee:... Honey, PLEASE tell me that penguin hasn't been found by the Lodgers. PLEASE tell me my freedom and those of free genies, good or bad, haven't just been put in danger!
  • Master Thief:... I wish I could.
  • Gee Nee:... RaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! (Her screams were so powerful, her omnipotent power raged throughout the place getting everyone inside to take cover, while those who couldn't in time were magically transformed into random things) GOOD GRIEFING MARLARKEY, AND JUST WHEN THINGS WERE LOOKING UP!?
  • Master Thief: "Hey, it's bad for me too! On top of the atypical stuff like the Guild being more at risk of disbansion and a serious one at that with permanent endgames, I could lose you as well! I can handle being another defeated schmoe on the Lougers' list of defeated schmoes, but I can't handle losing you in the process! I'm gonna make sure Vau-head gets the message he needs to take things seriously now!"
  • Gee Nee: "HE BETTER, OR HE'S GONNA KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A CHICKEN AT KFC?!"
  • Master Thief: "Better! I'm gonna make sure to send the Espionage Specialist his way!"

Vautour's HQ.

  • Vautour was on the medical bay as doctors treated his sustained injuries.
  • Doctor 1: "At least you can say you survived what you went through."
  • Vautour: "Ugghhhh. I need to be able to go after that blasted Byrd and those two new pests of his! But if only I were not a mortal and bound to mortal limitations!"
  • ???: "Your problem is that you were too blunt about it."
  • A Gecko in spy spandex appeared from nowhere, surprising and freaking out remaining Soldier Dogs!
  • Vautour: "DAH?! WHO ARE YOU?!"
  • Gecko: ".... I go by the name of the Deadly Silence. Mercenary Espionager for hire. A Thieves Guild Member sent me here."
  • Vautour: ".... I take it Master Thief has been, unsatisfied with the incursion?"
  • DS: "Would I even be here if he wasn't bothered by your failure to stop something that's guaranteed to backfire on them once Gee Nee's out of the picture?"
  • Vautour: "Ah, oui-oui, admittingly that was a stupid question."
  • Soldier Dog Officer: "Hey, lizard, ya weren't supposed to be in- (DS began to beat the crap about of the Officer and smacked him right into another bed)...."
  • Doctor 2: "Oh great, another higher-up incapacitated."
  • Vautour: ".... Ordinarily, I complain about attacking guys on the same team, but, given how much these dogs failed to take down TWO JOKER BIRDBRAINS, I find you to be a long-needed improvement."
  • DS: "Well obviously I'm not some cheap thug from Henchlist."
  • Vautour: "Well, while I heard of your talents, going into the Humming Bird base is expected to be difficult! They're no stranger to attempted Espionagers."
  • DS: "..... Then wait until I visit that base. The next time you'll hear about this "Unwishable Lamp", it'll be an addition to a documentary series about failed and rejected ideas. Cause I imagine that the creator of the lamp, Dr. Julien B. Itchwish, would have hidden motivations behind this lamp and that the Thieves Guild's advantage with a freed Genie is nothing more than an excuse to get an otherwise questionable project approved. If I were to expose this to the Lougers, well, you can count on those misfits no longer feeling safe with the idea of the lamp."
  • Vautour: ".... Ah-haaaa, and Byrd will feel like an embarrassment for adhering to this! BRILLIANT?!"
  • DS: "Oh, and one other thing:.... Thief and Gee also asked me to, sever ties between their group and you."
  • Vautour: "(Frowns).... Wha?"
  • DS: "He felt like you're no longer an adequate threat to Byrd, especially in your state. So I made it that your hidden base was as obvious as possible to even the dumbest enforcer ever. (The Base was covered in Vegasy Neon-Lights) Expect Tri-Corn's finest soldiers to arrive shortly. (Suddenly disappears)....."
  • Vautour: "..... LT? How, long until enemy arrival?"
  • LT: "(Gulps)..... Do you, want to hear those words exactly?"
  • Vautour: YES!
  • LT:... In approximately 1 second- (Tricorn's forces appeared as they cartoonishly ran around and surrounded them)
  • Trooper #1: Do not attempt to move, or we'll be repeating the 'do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves' joke!
  • Trooper Leader: ".... Ehh, it's different, at the least."
  • Vautour: "..... Just so you all know, I surrender, it's just that my body is casted up and I'm not able to do the surrender gesture!"
  • Trooper 2: "Yeah we kinda figured as much."

Byrd Lands

  • Byrd:... Yes, I have met Spyro and Cynder.
  • Icky: We, never asked that.
  • Byrd: You were thinking it. Soldier's intuition. They arrived when we were attending father's funeral. My father, Jameson Byrd, founded these lands and fought well against Malefor's forces when he was freed. But the Grublins were just too powerful. Then when he finally handled the entire army, Malefor had initiated the Great Cleansing, and he died rescuing as many penguins as he could. The ice of our home was somehow solid enough to stay formed even when the Destroyer split the world into pieces. The hummingbirds assumed it was because of magic, which would explain it.... Spyro and Cynder, and their dragonfly friend Sparx, arrived when we were holding the funeral. I took his DBX-9 firework backpack cannons and managed to upgrade them with some nifty Mega-Sci Corp technology. Now they're rocket launchers.
  • Iago:... So, can you fly?
  • Byrd: Without my jetpack, no. Why do you ask?
  • Icky: One, there's a different version of you, erm well, your father in technically, from a different iteration. He could fly.
  • Byrd:... Ohhh, you must mean like with father's hummingbird foster care. Yes, indeed, he could fly because of it. I don't know how that makes any sense, but magic ice, I guess. Guess you must've heard about my dad differently to misinterpret it as some 'timeline' stuff.
  • Iago:... Okay, whatever, point is, what thief problems are going on in the hummingbird lands?
  • Byrd: Well, the hummingbird lands aren't exactly IN Antarctica. It's on some green islands nearby Antarctica across the shores of the Byrd Lands.
  • Icky: I thought you said they had HQ greenhouses.
  • Byrd: Where do you think they CAME from, you ninnies?
  • Icky: Ah, makes sense.
  • Byrd: Also, we built our HQs under the ices of Antarctica.
  • Icky:... I GUESS that makes additional sense? But hey, if something like Lake Vostok can exist in Antarctica, anything is possible.
  • ???: SIIIR! SIRSIRSIRSIRSIRSIRSIRSIIIIIR!! (Another penguin came in) WE'RE IN SOME DEEP S***!!
  • Byrd: Speaking of 'Vostok', GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, COLONEL VOSTOK! (He slapped him multiple times) Now, what is it?
  • Vostok: Sir, the hummingbirds at Vostok HQ have been taken.
  • Byrd: WHAT?!? EVEN GABRIELLE?!?
  • Vostok: ESPECIALLY GABRIELLE!!
  • Byrd: UGH! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!?
  • Vostok: You're not the one who pays us, sir.
  • Byrd: UGH, WHAT DO YOU LIVE FOR?!?
  • Icky: Gabrielle?
  • Byrd: My hummingbird girlfriend. And, um, this is Colonel Ross Vostok, commander of the Vostok Headquarters. He was SUPPOSED to be safehousing the hummingbirds in all my HQs, but obviously he failed dramatically.
  • Vostok: I AM STILL A ROOKIE SINCE MY FATHER DIED IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOURS, SIR!
  • Byrd: THAT'S NO EXCUSE, COLONEL! NOW MY LODGER ASSOCIATES MUST GET THEM BACK WHILE I BREAK THE BAD NEWS TO THE HUMMINGBIRD ISLANDS! YOU shall fill them in on the situation while I'm gone.
  • Vostok: YES SIR!!
  • Icky: "Oy, it's always something. So I guess this means Vautour's back for round 2."
  • Byrd: "No, this doesn't match Vautour in the slightest. Vostok would not be able to tell us for one thing, as Vautour lets no one go uncaptured in HIS raids. This was done by someone who's a mastermind and knows what they're doing."
  • Icky: But who?
  • Byrd: How should I know? I mean, they struck when I was captured. They knew that my absence would leave them unable to be at their best. Vautour was only an accomplice.
  • Iago: Well that f*****g figures.
  • Vostok: Come with me! We must get the Hummingbird Division back. (They left as Byrd flew off with his jetpack)

Vostok Headquarters

  • Penguin Guard:... Do these people have special clearance?
  • Vostok: Captain Beek, these are members of the Lodgers. Let us in, as your commanding officer!
  • Beek:... Sorry, sir, it's just... Not much has been the same in 11 years since your father died.
  • Vostok: (Sighs) Really, Beek?
  • Beek: I NEVER SAID THAT IT WAS A QUICK CHANGE! I'VE BEEN SERVING YOUR FATHER FOR MUCH LONGER THAN 11 YEARS!!
  • Vostok: DON'T TALK BACK TO ME, SOLDIER!
  • Beek:... Yeah, it was much more commanding when it was your father- (Vostok choked him) HUEGH!
  • Vostok: LET US IN!! THAT IS AN ORDER!!
  • Beek:... Okay, that's MUCH better! Keep doing that, sir! (He opened the gates and the three entered to see many penguins cleaning up after a thief raid)
  • Penguin #2: SIR! YOU'RE BACK!
  • Vostok: Ahem. Major Sidley Feather, these are Lodgers, and they would like to assist us in rescuing the Hummingbird Division.
  • Feather: Oh. Well... That's convenient.
  • Icky: Convenience at this point is like a bully to us.
  • Feather: I know... Tell me about it.
  • Icky: So, um... What's the situation?
  • Feather: No offense, guys, but we take orders from Colonel Vostok.
  • Iago: Well... Can you, uh, 'Vos' him for us?
  • Vostok: Okay, let's make it clear I hate puns.
  • Icky: Eh, everyone does, AND it's a one-time thing. RIGHT?!
  • Iago: Yeah, sure.
  • Vostok: But very well. What's the situation?
  • Feather: Well, yesterday at 1845 hours, thieves have been reported sneaking about beneath our defenses. We did the best we could, but without Byrd, we lost all the Hummingbirds at 1900 hours.
  • Vostok: Wow. 15 minutes. That's got to be a record.
  • Iago:... Just 15 minutes? You guys really DO need our help.
  • Feather: I will escort you both to Commodore Blake Arctowski. He is our navigator, and should provide safe course for where we may believe they're hiding the hummingbirds.
  • Iago: Why would they even want those hummingbirds? It can't be for the same reason as the fairies.
  • Feather: "Well, it may be related to the Indestructible Lamp project, but other than that, I do see where you are going since I wouldn't put Humming Birds in the same camp as Fairies."
  • Vostok: (Was on his radio for a bit) Oh, crap! Guys? I think this move WAS because of the Lamp!
  • Feather:... What do you mean, sir?
  • Vostok: The Thieves are globally attacking for a reason. Many lands have... *Gulp*... COPIED the plans for the Indestructible Lamp.
  • Icky: WHAT?!
  • Vostok: Byrd just called, and... Hummingbird Island has been attacked by Gee Nee.... And the Hummingbirds want to stop the project now.
  • Iago: WHY?!? WITH IT, WE CAN IMPRISON A BAD FREE GENIE FOREVER!
  • Vostok: Apparently, Gee Nee said that she's been after this project for a reason. Yes, the lamp can be used to imprison evil free genies... But it can ALSO be used to imprison GOOD free genies.
  • Icky: What do you mean?
  • Vostok: Gee Nee is doing this not just for Master Thief, but for her own kind. The Indestructible Lamp is as dangerous as it is useful. If this lamp ever fell into the wrong hands, then all free genies, good or bad, could be enslaved and allow the user all the wishes he could want, with no limitation to three or the loophole of wishing for more wishes. All genies, INCLUDING her, could be threatened by this lamp's very existence.
  • Icky: I-...... Actually... That IS a good point.
  • Vostok: So the hummingbirds have... Hesitantly joined forces with the thieves to ensure that all copies of the lamp project are to be destroyed. Anyone who possesses this lamp could become unstoppable, and with a lamp that's indestructible and permanently imprisons genies forever... There's no freeing them OR destroying the owner's power.
  • Icky: Ohhh boy! Foiled by logic, AGAIN!
  • Vostok: I, I don't understand! Even if this IS a good point, this is STILL no reason to-
  • Iago: You know what: Who cares? We need to destroy the project copies, as soon as possible. If this thing is as dangerous as it is useful, then it shouldn't exist.
  • Vostok: Isn't that what Gee Nee wants?
  • Iago: Yes... But, she AND Master Thief ARE still a threat, so Gee Nee STILL needs to be imprisoned some way or another.
  • Icky: Evil genies are STILL a threat. Especially FREE ones. If there's ANYTHING Jafar AND Merlock taught us, genies that are more enslaved than they already are when bound by their lamps, AND are given different methods of getting past the classic three-wish rule, this time by switching genies every time one has granted three already, are dangerous.
  • Vostok: So, you're saying we should make a destructible version of this lamp, especially for Gee Nee?
  • Feather: Seems the most likely reason to destroy these plans. Manufacturing lamps that can capture free genies and put them back into eternal servitude, seems like a much better solution.
  • ???: It's worse! (Another penguin came)
  • Iago: Who dis?
  • Vostok: Our military scientist Mawson Chilingarov.
  • Mawson: Ahem, glad to meet you, as I was saying, I just got a call from the Professor.
  • Icky: Professor?
  • Vostok: Professor Joule of Mega-Sci Corp. The guy who made our high-tech equipment.
  • Mawson: Precisely. He just called and said that his colleague Dr. Julien B. Itchwish's plans for the lamp, were stolen.
  • Icky and Iago snickered at that name.
  • Mawson: "..... THIS IS TOO SERIOUS TO LAUGH AT DR. ITCHWISH'S NAME!!" (He slaps them both)
  • Icky: Ahem! Sorry, sorry! Also, if these two lab guys are so smart, then how did they lose those plans so easily-
  • Mawson: Ahem. MASTER thieves?
  • Icky: Whatever, point taken.
  • Mawson: Anyway, as you can guess, it was an artificial way to stop rogue free genies. But when he realized the danger that such a device can pose, he went to his superiors to cancel the project... Only to find such plans stolen.
  • Icky: "I'm betting Itchwish wasn't all likewise with the professor on this."
  • Mawson: We don't know if this is Itchwish's fault yet! But, he said he's just been working on plans for a better version. Lamps that can lock rogue free genies back into their original purpose and add a new 4th wish that you can't free them if they haven't been good or honorable genies.
  • Iago: Now THAT'S what I'm talking about.
  • Icky: DEFINITELY the greater reason why Gee Nee wants to stop any attempt to create these artificial lamp prisons. She's just trying to save her own kind, good or bad.
  • Iago: AND her boyfriend is on her side because he doesn't want to lose her.
  • Icky: Alright, we got everything clear here? Is there anything we're missing?
  • (Byrd): EMERGENCY!! EMERGENCY!! THIS IS SERGEANT BYRD!! I HAVE BEEN CAPTURED BY THE HUMMINGBIRDS!! GEE NEE HAS BRAINWASHED THEM TOO WELL TO LISTEN TO ME FOR A BETTER SOLUTION!! ITCHWISH HAS GONE ROGUE AND- AAHHHH- (The signal cuts)
  • Iago:... So... We're going to that island-
  • Vostok: No! His orders were to have you rescue Gabrielle and the Hummingbird Division. We'll send a squad over to save him.
  • Iago: Well, no need to, cause me and Icks are gonna go help Byrd.
  • Icky and Iago flew off!
  • Vostok: "WAIT! WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN-"
  • Feather: "Let them go, Vos. If they save Byrd, rescuing the division will be made easier with Byrd's help."
  • Vostok: ".... Uggggh. Okay, fine! We'll improvise in the meantime then! But if this decision gets me demoted, I'm blaming you!"

Itchwish's lab

  • Byrd: Itchwish, how could you do this?
  • Itchwish: "JOULE BETRAYED ME AND TURNED AGAINST MY DREAM?! I AM NOT GONNA LET MY DREAM DIE BECAUSE A GECKO ESPIONAGER SUDDENLY MESSED WITH EVERYONE'S MORALE?!"
  • Byrd: Look, I know it's inconvenient, but, they're right. Something like this can be dangerous.
  • Itchwish: YOU THINK I WOULDN'T PLAN AHEAD FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!
  • Byrd: And YOU think they won't recreate it for THEIR needs?
  • Itchwish: WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY?!? I TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING TO HELP, AND SUDDENLY PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO STOP ME!! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S DANGEROUS!
  • Byrd: THAT'S exactly the problem!
  • Itchwish: WELL, SCREW YOU! I worked so hard on this, and I REFUSE to let it go to waste! I'm getting them back, end of story! I will not allow the creation of something that can help society permanently harness the power of genies be lost FOREVER because of meager concerns and ignorance?!"
  • Byrd: ".... So I take it taking away the Thieves Guild's trumpcard is just something you're using as an excuse to get a risky idea off the ground then? Honestly, I kinda figured, cause it does sound risky in hindsight-"
  • Itchwish: "SILENCE?! I can't believe my fellow hummingbirds had EVER saw pity in you, much less others! Your father wouldn't've backed out so easily?!"
  • Byrd: ".... I believe you know nothing about who my father really was. And I don't appreciate such a misguided accusation, good doctor."
  • Itchwish: "SILENCE?! I will not let you free until my demands to get my plans back in working order are met! I have ways to make Tricorn kneel to my demands?!"
  • Byrd: Look, I'm sorry your plans were scoffed off as dangerous. But it is. Can you imagine if someone evil got their hands on this kind of thing? No genies, free or not, good or evil, will be safe. They could be imprisoned in such a device and-
  • Itchwish: SCIENCE IS ALL ABOUT RISKS?! It is about venturing into new territories and heights?! As soon as I make that lamp, Gee Nee will be the first one to go.
  • Byrd: Then you're just as dangerous as she is.
  • Itchwish: (Sighs) You don't understand. Ever since I was nearly killed during the Great Cleansing, I have always feared omnipotent power like that. I dedicated my life's work to create counters to their power. THIS is one of them. If you have a problem with this, then you're ASKING for history to repeat itself.
  • Byrd: The opposite actually, I'm trying to KEEP history from repeating itself. It's fine and dandy you meant good for this thing, but, what can be used against it, can be used to empower it. Joule was in the right for having your project canceled. An indestructible lamp that genies can never be freed from? Can you IMAGINE how dangerous that is?
  • Itchwish: ENOUGH! I'm NOT stopping for ANYTHING!
  • Byrd: Then, like I said, you ARE as dangerous as Gee Nee.
  • Itchwish: And who's going to stop me- (Suddenly he was shot with a sniper from DS)
  • Byrd:... W... WHAT THE HECK?!? I don't recall anyone from the base who can use a sniper rifle?!
  • DS snuck off into the shadows....
  • Byrd: ".... Well, this is troubling. Itchwish got assassinated, and I made the mistake of asking all team members and the Lougers to prioritized helping the Humming Bird division. I don't suppose it can't be worse."
  • Computer: "Itchwish's life force lost. Engage 20-minute self-destruction sequence."
  • Byrd: ".... OH WHY WOULD ANYONE HAVE A SELF-DESTRUCTION MECHANISM THAT ACTIVATES THE MOMENT YOU DIED?! Oy, sometimes science can befodled me."
  • Computer: 20-minute self-destruction, disabled.
  • Byrd: Oh, thank Go- Wait, what? (A mole scientist appeared)... Joule!
  • Joule: Come on! Everyone here need help.
  • Byrd: Right! (He got his gear back) Hold on, Professor! (He held Joule and they blasted off with his jetpack but ended up running into Icky and Iago) OOF?! Wait, Lougers? I take it you were attempting to be an impromptu rescue team?
  • Icky: "..... We, ended up being un-needed, did we?"
  • Byrd: "Worry not gents, it's the thought at counts. Besides, gives you two more opportunity to help Vostok and the rescue attempt that you were meant to focus on."
  • Iago: "But what about that Itchwish jerk?"
  • Byrd: "Unplanned casualty of this conflict I'm afraid. I suspect this "Gecko" he was raving about may had something to do with it, granted, I didn't see this assailant myself."
  • Icky: "Yeesh, this guild must REALLY be against that plan of his, aren't they?"
  • Byrd: Indeed.
  • Joule: Come. As soon as we rescue the hummingbirds, we can discuss the next few lands the copies are.
  • Iago:... Great! Didn't need to break the fourth wall to know that. That's just swell to know. DAMN!
  • Icky: We all make mistakes. LET'S GO! (They head out)

Thief Den

  • Gabrielle: LA CONFUSION!!! YOU RUFFIANS LET US GO IMMEDIATELY!
  • Thief #1: Or what, buzzy?
  • Gabrielle: IT'S COMMODORE GABRIELLE TO YOU, CONNARD!!
  • Thief #1: My name is NOT Connard! In fact, that's hardly even a name.
  • Thief #2: It's French for 'asshole', genius.
  • Thief #1: OH YOU LITTLE BITCH!!
  • Gabrielle: BYRD WILL COME FOR ME!
  • Thief #1: Oh, we've taken GOOD care of him. He was last reported being in Ishwish's mercy, and-
  • DS: "(Shows up) I take it you're not familiar with Gee's request to had Ishwish eliminated then?"
  • Thief 1: ".... AW WHAT THE F, DUDE?! NOW HE'S GONNA COME HERE AND KICK OUR BUTTS?!"
  • DS: "He doesn't have to. Kidnapping these Humming Birds was meant to be a distraction for the Lougers and Byrd's troop while Gee goes after the information relating to the plans and where to go after them, along with having Ishwish vulnerable to be finished off so there would be no way for his original plans to be revived."
  • Thief 2: ".... Ohhh, okay. So let ditch these buzzers and-"
  • DS: "Not yet. We'll need to put an extra distraction so I would have time to pin-point where the plans are. So, I hired some Ice Scavengers to hold the hummers over for us."
  • A Couple of Scavengers similar to the ones from the second Legend of Spyro game but ice-themed showed up, along with a big one simular to Skabb, but actually looks intelligent.
  • Thief 1: ".... Holy crud?! You got THE Dread Captain Frostbytebeard in on this?!"
  • Captain Frostbytebeard: "(Sofisicated voice) Oh please, do call me Icenguard. "Frostbytebeard" is only a surname."
  • Thief 2: ".... Wow, strangely polite for a scavenger."
  • Captain Icenguard: "Did you peg me to be like Cousin Skabb and his little pets? Oh please, I'm better than that. (As A pet Puffin-Eqsed Creature and a Snow-Owl Eqsed Creature sitting on him as well). My scavengers have a more luxurious career in collecting and keeping the rarest creatures and legendary beings of the Dragon Realms. And it so happens that I am currently searching, for the abominable snowmen brothers. DS had came to me about these hummingbirds, and I do believe they will be very fruitful in helping me to add the brothers into my collection?"
  • Gabrielle: "WE HAVE MORE IMPOURENT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THEN CHASING CRYPTIDS?!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "Oh? Well, terribly sorry dear.... But I don't believe this was a request. It is what the military would call, a draft."
  • The Ice Scavengers laughed as they surrounded the Humming Bird Division.

Later.

  • The Thief Den was empty when Vostok's team broke in!
  • Vostok: "FREEZE?! SURRENDER THE HUMMING- (Say the empty den).... Birds....."
  • Suddenly, a bathroom flush was heard, as a Thief in Red Robes came out humming.
  • Red Robed Thief: "Okay dudes, sorry I was late, bathroom accident. Now what are we gonna do with the Humming Bir- (Saw Penguins) Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........ MEEP?! (Goes back into the bathroom to look it!)"
  • Vostok: "..... SECURE THAT RED IDIOT?!" (They fired madly breaking the door down)...
  • Red Robed Thief:... I'm out of here. (He zoomed off in Spyro thief speed)
  • Beek: GET HIM! (They slid after him)
  • Icky: (He, Iago and Byrd arrived just in time to see the Red Robed Thief being chased) COME BACK HERE, YOU RED LITTLE C**K!!!
  • Red Robed Thief: "LEAVE ME, I'M A ROOKIE?! I DIDN'T EVEN GET STARTED YET?! (Keeps running)"
  • Byrd: "Oy, you would think an organization as netouriously organized as the Thief's Guild would keep a better grip on their rookies." (They chased him around comically until they ended up getting him to fall off a cliff and into the freezing water, freezing him cartoonishly into a block of ice and capturing him)
  • Iago: Alright, ya blood-soaked little troglodyte. You're going to spill everything you know or we'll shove an icicle up your ass.
  • Icky: Whoa, Iago.
  • Iago: Give me a break, I'm freezing out here!
  • Red Robed Thief: "(Muffled) Too, frozen, to talk."
  • Byrd: "Ohhh, bother. Guess we'll have to take him back to base for questioning then."

Base

  • Byrd: (The thief was unfrozen and quickly immobilized_... NOW you're going to spill everything you know or we really WILL shove an icicle up your ass.
  • Red Robed Thief: " AHH?! Come on man, I'm litterally the new guy, don't make my first day ever be about me being a snitch?!"
  • Vostok: "Well, what's gonna be more impourent in this situation?! (Pulls out Icicle)...... A good standing, OR THE ABILITY TO SIT FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE?!"
  • Red Robed Thief: "(Scared whimper)?! Listen, please, I, I was mostly in the bathroom for a long time cause of an, accident, I, I missed out on what happened out there."
  • Byrd: "Then make an educated guess, good sir, or I can't promise I'll reign in Vostok on any misconduct!"
  • Red Robed Thief: "(Scared yelp)?! Well if I had to guess, during my clean up that I was keeping SUPER-SECRET, I heard this conversation between two Ice Scavengers using the urinals! They mostly talked about something about their boss scoring hummingbirds to help him catch two legendary snow monkeys in thanks to that gecko that was used to bust up your indestructible lamp plans, I wasn't able to pay attention to much else cause I was too busy trying to hide my mess?! Maybe those hummingbirds got taken by Ice Scavengers, I don't know?!"
  • Byrd: "..... Icenguard. The collector of legends."
  • Icky: "Ice Scavengers? Ya mean like, those dog pirates with Skabb from the second Legend of Spyro Game?"
  • Byrd: "Icenguard is a far cry from his mentally challenged cousin. He's going to make our division go after untested legends and myths."
  • Icky: "Weeeeeeeeeeell, me and Iago saw Bigfoot on that camping adventure with Non-Kingdom Hearts Goofy that one time, sooooo, Abominable Snowmen may not be a stretch."
  • Vostok: "..... Okay reddy, while we're on the subject, EXPOSE THE THIEVES GUILD MAIN HQ, SO WE'LL KNOW WHAT TO TARGET?!"
  • Red Robed Thief: "(Strange magic was slightly occurring on him) No?! No please?! Don't ask me that?! You're messing with the failsafe?!"
  • Vostok: "I'M SERIOUS YOU ROBE JOCKEY?! WHERE, IS, YOUR, MAIN, BASE?!"
  • Red Robed Thief: "(SCREAMS AS MORE OF THE MAGIC OCCURED AS HE TURNED INTO AN UNSENTIENT ANIMAL)......"
  • Vostok: "..... AW SHIT, IS THE GENIE BACK?!"
  • Joule: "Actually, it's something else.... It confirms a long-debated theory about the thieves guild:.... That all the thieves but Master Thief, are but direct byproducts of Gee Nee, that they were once normal animals until the events that transpired to turn them into Thieves."
  • Byrd: "And I take it what we witnessed was, a failsafe in an event any were to get interrogated and/or arrested so to prevent their main HQ being located."
  • Joule: "In a way."
  • Vostok: ".... Ugh, no wonder all the captured and arrested Thieves kept mysteriously disappearing and their cells "Replaced" with worthless unsentients! THEY LITTERALLY ARE THE UNSENTIENTS?! That, kinda explains their lack of identifiable features, honestly!"
  • Icky: "Well all the more reason to catch MT's genie girlfriend then! I bet capturing her would turn those Thieves back to their proper forms!"
  • Byrd: "Yes, but now our rescue mission for the Humming Birds is complicated now! Icenguard has likely left the area by know to go after his ridiculous claim of there being "Yeti Brothers" in the mountains! We'll need to rendezvous to the Ice Scavenger camp in the Himalayas where this crazed excavation is held!"
  • Icky: "Ya know this is likely a distraction tactic these thieves are using to make us focus on something not related to the mass crimes they're doing!"
  • Joule: Actually, it's not. THIS is one of the locations of the many copies of the lamp project.
  • Icky:... Well that changes everything. Now, where are these islands? I'm sure it's not a far walk.
  • Joule:... It's not in Antarctica.
  • Iago:...

Yeti Mountains

  • Icky:... Okay, I'm stupid, of COURSE it was the Himalayas. What did I EXPECT from Yetis?!
  • Joule: It's actually called the Yatī Pahāḍaharū. Or in-unrefined tongue, the Yeti Mountains.
  • Icky:... Wow. Too generic. We're just gonna call them the Himalayas.
  • Iago: "So how we're gonna find those Ice Scavengers?"
  • Byrd: "Well first off, just look for what looks like an ice-themed Airship parked at a side of the mountain. That would be where the camp is."
  • Icky: You mean THAT thing? (They saw a large airship similar to Skabb's ship parked at a relative distance from where the group are)
  • Byrd:... Okay, that CAN'T be it! There's NO way we conveniently stumbled upon it!
  • Iago: Well why don't we find out?
  • Byrd: FINE! (He fired his rocket launchers before Joule magnetized them back and detonated them far away)
  • Joule: They didn't mean it THAT way, Byrd. They meant in a subtle way. One that DOESN'T blow our cover. Nor risks the well being of the Humming Birds AND your girlfriend, millaterry training or not!
  • Iago: Yeah, some military leader.
  • Byrd: (He grabbed him as he squealed in fear) You wanna say that to my face, Polly?
  • Iago: N-n-n-n-no!
  • Byrd: Damn right now! (He let her go) Besides, I'm STILL new to this.
  • Icky: NEW?! IT'S BEEN 11 DAMN YEARS!!
  • Byrd: NOBODY SAID IT WAS QUICK!
  • Joule: EVERYONE, PLEASE, SHUT UP! (Echoes passed around and they got caught in an avalanche, getting them to scream all the way down until they got caved in by the snow)
  • Byrd:... Oh, way to go, guys.
  • Iago: Us? You were yelling too.
  • Byrd: There's no time to hold anyone accountable. Now we have to take the long way back up there.
  • ???: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
  • Icky:... Please tell me that was just a snow leopard having a case of indigestion.
  • Iago: Has asking for things like that ever worked, idiot?
  • Icky: WELL IT'S BETTER THEN THE WORSE CASE SCENARIO?!
  • Byrd: Will you both quit it?! We have a LONG walk ahead of us here!
  • The Group ventured forth, unaware that they were watched by a large silhouette.

Ice Scavenger Camp.

  • Captain Icenguard: "(As the Ice Scavengers were preparing cages of various sizes and all kinds of weaponry)... I thank you for supplying weaponry, my good dealer."
  • A Pistol Shrimp with a literal pincher-gun was seen.
  • Pistol Shrimp: "Hey now, try to call me "Mr. Gunnery", I like to be friendly and personal with my clients."
  • Captain Icenguard: "Ah yes, Mr. Gunnery. Your weapons will be extremely helpful in capturing the Yeti Brothers. And at generous prices too."
  • Mr. Gunnery: "Hey, with the Lougers starting to take extra vacation time with that Kairi Thing down and out, well, suffice to say, alot of guys like us can feel like we can take more risks here. Besides, I already have plenty of high-paying clients that can cover the REALLY expensive stuff. You guys mainly wanted standard Ice Monkey catching things. That's cheaper compared to anything the AUU can cough up, and easier to find too! Cause no gun's out of my reach thanks to my little gift from those Mega-Sci-Corp clowns! Not even portal guns are safe from my each with this baby!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "Oh yes, I would imagine that weaponry locator device is very beneficial to your business as an illegit weapons dealer."
  • Mr. Gunnery: "Damn straight!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "And now, with a set of, "Volunteers", (Points to the caged Humming Birds), and the greatest Yeti-Capturing Weaponry available, I will enjoy adding the Yeti Brothers, to my expansive collection! (Shows a collection of caged and jarred legendary creatures and beings on his ship) I will become the most powerful collector of creatures of untested existences to date!"
  • Mr. Gunnery: "(Whistles)! You could make a FORTUNE with a collection like that!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "I would, but I prefer to keep them as a private collection of pets."
  • Mr. Gunnery: "Well that's a waste of money. These things would sell like mad in the black market!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "Well, I have different plans, clearly."
  • Mr. Gunenry: "Fair enough, fair enough, but if you ever get bored, I can hook ya up with alot of Black Market guys I know! I even know some Mafia Alliance Representatives!"
  • Captain Icenguard: "Note that I would NEVER intent to be bored with my legendary collection! I have been fascinated with legendaries ever since I was a pup, and when I saw the beautiful Rainbow Bird of the Skys! A deity level avian that has been around the Dragon Realms far longer than even the dragons! Even being believed to be why the power gems exists! Alongside the Yeti Brothers for their power, I have been looking for her in a good long while! And legend said that the bird will be attracted to a large gathering of every legendary creature in the world in one spot! Having the Yeties is CRUCIAL to making her appear, so I may capture her and complete the collection!"
  • Mr. Gunnery began to look more sinister and started to look as if he's getting his own idea....
  • Mr. Gunnery: ".... Annnnd, would that bird be worth a fortune as well?"
  • Captain Icenguard: "She would have the price equivalent of a thoundson dimensions to the Dragons of the Dragon Realms cause of her cultural significance!"
  • Mr. Gunnery: "(Gets more sinister), Then, I don't suppose ya mind if I, help you out with those Yeti Bros? I hear talk those are not easy to face!"
  • (Deadpool): Dude, can you get any more obvious with your twist villains?
  • (Scroopfan): "Deadpool, can you NOT?!"
  • Captain Icenguard: Of course.
  • Gunnery: Good. (He smiles)
  • Captain Icenguard: So, let's get started. To catch a Yeti, you must think like one... And by that, I mean learn to detect their roars. (He brought out a sonar and it picked up a Yeti roar)... And we're off. (They left as Gunnery chuckled)

Ice Caverns

  • Icky: Okay, I think we're lost.
  • Byrd: We are NOT lost. I have a good sense of direction.
  • Iago: You said that 5 times already, and we're STILL lost.
  • Byrd: (As primate-like hands blocked their paths) I could've SWORN these were the right paths.
  • Icky: Is there ANYONE here that we can ask for directions? Surely these caves have been discovered.
  • Joule: I don't think so. I mean, the Snow Monkey Colosi Monks of Nepal aren't just going to be here. There's no hot springs here.
  • Iago: Where ARE these Yeti Brothers supposed to be, given that off-camera we'd decided to go looking for them given that Icenguard's after them?
  • Joule: Mount Vetruvius. The tallest mountain here.
  • Icky: Then, uh, why aren't we there?
  • Byrd: Because we caused an avalanche and got stuck here, remember?
  • Icky: Yeah, but why couldn't we have just-
  • Joule: Everyone! Calm down! We can figure this out.
  • ???: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  • Iago:... Tell me that was someone's stomach.
  • Byrd: Unfortunately no.
  • Joule: I think the Yeti Brothers found us.
  • Icky:... Question. Is there ANYTHING known about these two?
  • Joule: Not much, actually. They're very shy amongst strangers. But the only ones they truly got along with was your comrades Spyro and Cynder.
  • Iago: Wait, really? Those two met them?
  • Joule: From what I heard. They never told you? I mean, me and Byrd share history with them too. I'm the one who got them used to alien/modern-day technology when they were looking for directions.
  • Byrd: They rescued my land from remaining Grublins.
  • Icky:... Those two have GOT to be more open to us about their times before Cynder was recorrupted.
  • ???: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
  • Iago: SHADDAP!!! (The words echoed)
  • ???: AAGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUAAA!!!
  • Byrd:... I think you just made them mad.
  • ???: RAAAAAHHHHHHH!! (Two giant Yetis similar to LoS Apes but more gorilla-stanced appeared, one much bigger than the other as it pounded its chest roaring)
  • Icky: YETI!!!!
  • Iago: NO S***!!!!
  • Byrd: RETREEAT!! (The smaller Yeti got in front of them making crazy monkey noises)
  • Big Yeti:... RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • Icky: NO! PLEASE! IF WE DIE, THEN SPYRO AND CYNDER WON'T TELL US ABOUT YOU BOTH!!
  • Big Yeti: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Huh? (The Yetis stood down)... Spyro... Cynder... Friends!
  • Icky:... Wow. I never thought they'd recognize those names.
  • Iago: So you DO know them.
  • Big Yeti:... Name... Bentley.
  • Little Yeti:... Name... Bartholomew.
  • Icky:... Ohhhh, so you're THOSE guys. The LoS versions of them. I mean, I know Legend of Spyro took alot of creative liberties in making established characters different from the original series, but, WOW! You two are the most radical departure from the original Yeti Bros."
  • Iago: Yeah, the ORIGINAL Bentley had a pretty colorful vocabulary.
  • Bentley:... Herugh?
  • Icky: Eh, don't think too deeply about that. It'll hurt your head. So, big guy, you hear about those assholes that're coming after you?
  • Bentley:... Ass... Holes?
  • Bartholomew: Assholes! ASSHOLES ASSHOLES ASSHOLES ASSHOLES ASSHOLES!
  • Iago: Okay, looks like we taught the kiddy a bad word. Fantastic.
  • Icky: Yeah. So, I guess they don't know what it means. Um, bad people... Want... You!
  • Bentley:... Bad people... Want... Us.
  • Icky: Yeah. You come across them?
  • Bentley:... No. No bad people.
  • Byrd: Then I guess we came just in time. Listen, Bentley, There's these Ice Scavengers that kidnapped some hummingbird friends of ours and are forcing them to get involved with their endeavors involving you and your little brother. We would like some aide in the endeavor to save the hummingbirds."
  • Bentley:... Bentley don't know.
  • Bartholomew: BARTHOLOMEW SAY WE TIP SOMETHING OVEEER!!!!
  • Iago: Wow. Your little brother seems to have a fire burning in him.
  • Bentley:... This place too cold for fire.
  • Iago: I MEANT he's got spirit.
  • Bentley:... He's not dead.
  • Iago: OH FOR THE LOVE OF, DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?! He's BRAVE!
  • Bentley: OHHHHHHH.
  • Bartholomew: YES!
  • Byrd: They seem to want you two specifically. We don't know why, but it can't be good.
  • Joule: We must stop them. You feel like, smashing some stuff?
  • Bartholomew: BARTHOLOMEW DO!!!
  • Bentley:... Eh, why not? Bentley out of shape lately and needs practice. Also happens that me LOVE smacking around mean Ice Scavengers! They mean to legendaries!
  • Icky: So you DO know them.
  • Bentley: YES!
  • Icky: And you KNOW why they're here?
  • Bentley: YES!!
  • Icky: Then why are we standing around giving them more time? Let's kick their asses!
  • Bartholomew:... That not body part I heard of.
  • Iago:... (Sighs) Another name for a donkey, AND butt.
  • Bartholomew: OHHHHHHHHHH!
  • Iago: AND, that's what THEY think YOU two are. They think you're too dumb to defend yourselves. That you're cavemen who do nothing but pee on yourselves waiting for a challenge.
  • Bartholomew: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!? (He roared and punched everything)
  • Bentley:... Odd... Motivational speech.
  • Iago: They think that about you too.
  • Bentley: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAA!! (He tore off a giant icicle and made it into a giant club) SMASH SMASH SMAAAAASHH!!
  • Bartholomew: ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLES!!!
  • The two yeties charged off!
  • Byrd: "..... Did you two have to get them so riled up?"
  • Icky: Hey, makes it easier if there's only a few of us.
  • Byrd: "I mean, I'm pretty sure those Ice Scavengers would be prepared for those Yeties! In fact, I hear talk that Icenguard has gotten friendly with this pistol shrimp with a litteral gunclaw."
  • Icky and Iago made concerned face....
  • Icky/Iago: "...... AWWWW CRAP, MR. GUNNERY?!"
  • Byrd: "Wait, Mr. Gunnery?"
  • Icky: "He's basically a guy we've been after since late 2019 when he broke out of that Aquarium Prison Mike Cubafish was in! Guy's a netourious arms dealer armed with a Mega-Sci-Corp super-weapon from before Marz showed up! That Shrimp doesn't mess around! He's prepared for anything! He's even able to counter Shen's cannons, Cynder's Avatar, HE'S EVEN ABLE TO GET MOTHRON STUFF TO GIVE GAZELLE SOME TROUBLE?!"
  • Byrd: ".... I trust this is bad then?"
  • Icky: "BAD AS IT YA SHOULD'VE TOLD US GUNNERY'S INVOLVED?! IT'S GONNA BE CHAOS OUT THERE?!"
  • Joule: "Well, on the plus-side, at least it won't nessersarly be any easier for the Ice Scavengers either. They may be expecting to face the Yeties, but maybe not an all too soon encounter."
  • Icky: "Well all the same, we need to bust Gunnery before he becomes Icey's trump card against them! Remember, this guy is even able to give THE UNITER a serious headache! Compared to that, two giant snow monkeys are just target-practice, even in rage-mode!"
  • Iago: OHHHHH, GREAT! WHAT A WASTE OF A PERFECTLY GOOD AND COMICAL MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH!!
  • Icky: Can you PLEASE stop yelling and start doing?! Geez, I'm starting to find your screaming annoying.
  • Iago: I'M VOICED BY A GUY WITH A DRY SCRATCHY VOICE! OF COURSE I GOTTA INDULGE IT!
  • Byrd: SILENCE! Both of you! You both made this mess, now you BOTH clean it up.
  • Icky/Iago: DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO! (They went outside while farting in their direction)
  • Joule:... Okay, that's just, unnecessary.
  • Byrd: The cold in this place must be getting to them... That and the low oxygen of this altitude. They're NOT high-flying birds. Granted, probably doesn't help that those two are known for, eccentric behaviors to begin with.
  • Joule: Come on! We must help them!

Mount Vitruvius

Chapter 3: Escape of High Shenanigans

Chapter 4: A Deeper Understanding

Chapter 5: Of Venturing Birdbrains and What Not

Chapter 6: Another Showdown with Master Thief

Chapter 7: Finally Homeworld Bound

Epilogue

Material

Welcome_to_the_forty_thieves_-_lyrics

Welcome to the forty thieves - lyrics

Thieves Guild Song