Icky and Iago: Lost in the Dragon Realms

Icky and Iago: Lost in the Dragon Realms is the 31st Episode of Season 3B of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. With what happened with SpongeBob's crazy wish, Icky and Iago decide to take some time off. After accidentally stopping a massive robbery at one of the smart-vaults of MoneyBanks from the Thieves Guild, especially from their grand leader the Master Thief, they end up being taken hostage, and held in an unknown TG location. Luckily, the two are able to escape, and find that they are still in the Dragon Realms, but at an unknown location. And so they must travel the Dragon Realms in search of their comrades who are also looking for them. All the while, the two birdbrains end up traveling to new lands and meeting new people along the way including the beautiful Princess Zoe, who has a hateful history with Sparx, Lady Elora, a half-serious half-giddy faun from Faun Island, the return of LOS Hunter, the intelligent Professor Joule, the magical rabbit sorceress Lady Bianca, the cunning and sneaky monkey agent known as Agent IX and his 8 teammates, the penguin son of the deceased LOS version of Sgt Byrd, James Byrd Jr who wishes to be like his dad, Sheila the vigilante 'badass' celebrity girl who is almost like Tracer, Abominable Bentley, a primitive but smart Yeti from the Himalayas, alongside his younger brother Abominable Bartholomew, and many others while uncovering the Master Thief's secret plans to invade the giant gold castle-mansion of MoneyBanks' president, Sir Moneybags. Both Icky and Iago, as well as their other comrades, must now find a way to find each other again, and put a stop to the Master Thief's plan once and for all.

Transcript

Elton John- The Trail We Blaze

Intro/Montage Theme (Elton John- The Trail We Blaze)

Chapter 1: One Thing After Another

Dragon Temple

• Kairi:... Well... I guess this is goodbye.
• SpongeBob: (In waiter outfit) Yeah... It's still, sad, that I had to learn to let you go the hard way... And embarrassing at that.
• Lord Shen: "And one that needlessly included a wish-granting birthday cake!"
• Shifu: "And erased a key event in history, for that matter."
• Spongebob: "I feel like that's gonna haunt me for awhile, isn't it?"
• Po: "At least be glad Stacy doesn't know about this."
• Kairi: ".... If it makes ya feel Better, Spongebob.... We can always see eachother again on holidays or celebrations.... And whenever we try another bro-sister thing with Spyro again, even if those ALWAYS seem to end in disaster."
• Spongebob: "I'd like that Kairi. I would."
• Thus, Kairi and Boy Sora got on the gummi ship and it blasted off....
• Lord Shen: "..... I will say this, Square One.... Your little, escapade, did supplied us with a new secondary purpose.... Being a family. Thus, I believe it would always be assured that we're staying together no matter the current distance."
• Shifu: "I could not said it better myself."
• Spongebob: ".... So, I guess for now, I'm back to making Krabby Patties at a minimum wage."
• Shifu: "Yes, but don't worry. (Gives out communicator) We are never too far behind, no matter the distance. The Lougers are still together. And the Dragon Guardian temple is still a home away from home."
• Spongebob: "Yeah, and that's diffidently true with Icky and Iago.... Say where are those loveable birdbrains anyway."
• Lord Shen: "They've went to Dragon Realms New York to do some shopping before they return to their separate realms. Let's hope they didn't do anything, atypical of them again."
• Sparx: Heh. Another Brian and Stewie-style episode. I bet it's one that'll be a world-building one for this land.
• Spyro: Eh, I wouldn't say that's a good or bad thing. Remember when you got in trouble with Princess Zoe?
• Sparx: "Please don't bring her into this. I'm over her, now that I'm starting to earn Fire's attention."
• Spyro: "Heh, that's surprisingly mature of you, Sparx."
• Sparx: "Well, that and she clearly doesn't like me."
• Cynder: "(Playfully teasey) Kinda your own fault in that, Sparx."
• Fidget: Huh?
• Sparx: Oh, yeah. We never told you about the times we had before the Villain League corrupted Cynder AND after we beat Malefor.... AND when Spyro and Cynder decided that maybe they weren't ready to be a couple again. See, one time, we went to the Fairy Realms, where I met, the HOTTEST fairy of them all, Princess Zoe. She's the princess of hotness.
• Thundera: Si, we got that.
• Sparx: Buuuut... Let's just say, back then, I had so many women problems, so I became sort've a bachelor, without Spyro and Cynder knowing. One that didn't even get a single girl.
• Spyro: We were SUPPOSED to be helping the fairies from some fairy smugglers.
• Sparx: C'mon, when you're exactly a fairy's size, you can't help... Extending your tail. But when they found Roman City, the most out-of-nowhere thing happened.

Cutaway

• Drunken Fairy: (She came in buzzing around and yet in Sparx's head, she was hot) WEEEEEEEWWOOOO!! *BUUURP* Which one of you fairy men wants to gimme a big fat kiss? (Some men shivered and even the smugglers were baffled)... Alright, I'LL DO IT! (She ended up kissing Sparx on the lips)
• Sparx:... OhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Present

• Spyro: Everyone knows about the magic in a Fairy Realms fairy's kiss. For dragons, it makes their elemental breath, magical and affect anything no matter the defense. But when it came to other magical creatures, like a glowing dragonfly... Welll...

Cutaway

• Sparx: I'M C***IIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!! (He fires dragon breath like a dragon brewing with magical energy) OOOOOOHHH, YEEEAAAAAHHHH, THIIIS FEELS LIKE CAAANDI TIIIIMES!!!
• Fairy: HEY, I'M OVER THAT!
• Sparx: WAIT, YOUR NAME IS CANDI WITH AN I?!? THAT'S HOT!!
• Smuggler: SHUT UP, FAIRY! (He shook her cage)
• Sparx: HEY! DON'T YOU DO THAT TO HER! (He set him on fire as he screamed comically) AND THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR ALL A YA! (He scared them with his magic, and though he chased them all away, he damaged much of Roman City)
• Zoe: WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?!?
• Sparx:... WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, BABY! (He kissed Zoe aggressively as she was so freaked she pushed herself away and spattered) Ahhhhh. That felt SO good.
• (Baloo): Okay, I'm sure it went that way, but did you HAVE to be completely accurate about it?
• (Sparx): I don't know, maybe that magic is still inside me.
• Zoe: EECCKKH!! YOU, YOU PERVERTED DRAGONFLY!!
• Sparx:... Wh... What just hap-PENED?!? (He saw the damage he caused)... Did I do this? PLEASE tell me I didn't do this. And if I did, HOW?!?
• Spyro:... A drunken fairy kissed you.
• Zoe: WHAT?!?... It was Baccha, wasn't it?
• Baccha: (wakes up) Uuuughh! What just happened? I just recovered from another bad hangover! (Looks around and surveys the damage)... I kissed someone again, didn't I?
• Sparx:... A fairy's kiss can do THAT?!
• Cynder: A fairy's kiss contains powerful magic.
• Sparx:... Uhhh... (Chuckles nervously)... Uh... Don't you just hate having your boner doing the talking?
• Zoe:...

Present

• Sparx: So I was banished from the Fairy Realms for life.
• Spyro: Actually, we convinced Zoe to cut you some slack because you're still my adopted brother. AND, fairies KINDA considered you a hero.
• Cynder: Despite Zoe's outright frustration.
• Sparx: Well, it felt like banishment to me.
• Lord Shen: "Ugh. Well hopefully Prehistoric One and the Loudmouth Parrot are not so easily prone to such mishaps."

Dragon Realms New York

• Icky: (He and Iago were riding carriages in the streets of New York, which was different than was seen from before, including Gem Lamps, carriages, and sometimes cars, and magical technology)... Alright, we got what we need.
• Iago: Wow, the Times Square Marketplace has gotten a HUGE renovation this year. It went from just being the stock appearance of typical New York to now being, this.
• Icky: Eh, I consider 2020 a remarkable year of change. The TRUE future magic year.... Granted, the year was still off to a crap start.
• Iago: If that's how you can put it... I'll do it too. (Familiar laughter and chuckling was heard) What the- (They saw a blue thief similar to the quick ones in the original Spyro games running through)
• Axle: STOP! THIEF!!! (He fired electric bolts at the thief but he was too fast)
• Thief: NA-NANA-NANA! HAHAHA!
• Axle: DON'T MOCK ME! I ALWAYS HATED THAT LAUGH FROM BOTH THE OLD GAMES AND THE REIGNITED TRILOGY?! (He kept firing electric bolts at him) URGH! COME, ON, YOU, DAMN, BLUE, CLOWN!!
• Icky: Wow, he must be having trouble.
• Axle: (On radio) THIS IS OFFICER AXLE, CALLING FOR BACKUP! (Soon another thief appeared in the shadows)
• Unknown Thief: I don't think so. (He approached a snail-elephant)... Time to make Times Square shake. (He slashed his sword on it and caused a stampede, causing traffic damage and wild animal craziness)
• Iago: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?
• Icky: I think I have a pretty good idea. Look! (They saw some figures in the shadows as Bullington and other UUPD cops arrived)
• Axle: Chief! It is an ambush! (More Classic-Spyro thieves appeared from the shadows)
• Bullington: (Dubbed as Razoul) Not in THIS city! (The thieves displayed slick moves when robbing people, including a sword-and-knife-wielding thief, acrobatic ninja thieves, a martial artist thief, a fat goofy thief, an Indian rope magician thief, triplet thieves, and so much more)
• Iago: ".... That, feels, oddly familiar."
• Icky: Well, this just came out of nowhere. Iago? Hold them off. I'll find somewhere safe to get the Lodgers. (He flew off as someone saw him and flew off after him)
• Unknown Thief: Alright, now for the grand prize. (He found a bank dubbed 'MoneyBanks' with a 'Hallelujah' choir heard in the background)... Come to papa. (A piece of wood was tossed at him from behind)
• Iago: MEET YOUR MATCH, ZORRO!!
• Unknown Thief:... Good birdie. Polly want a little-
• Iago: SAY 'CRACKER' AND I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT ON PRINCIPLE!! (He swung a piece of wood at him as the Unknown Thief just took it and grabbed him by the wings)
• Unknown Thief: I must say, you have a lot of spirit... (Iago struggled and was stuffed inside a mailbox)... And a LOT of mouth, for a parrot. HAH! I crack myself up. (He walked for the place as Icky saw)
• Icky: UGH! You had one job, Iago!
• Iago: (From inside the mailbox) I TRIED!!
• Icky: (He kicked the mailbox towards the MoneyBanks Bank and followed him) LET'S JUST GO STOP HIM BEFORE HE PULLS OFF A WORSE HEIST! (They went off after him as the unknown flying figure followed them with a girly giggle)

Inside Bank.

• The Guards were already disabled as the bank tellers and visitors were already held-hostage.
• Unknown Thief: "Alright, ya people know the drill. Get ready to enjoy our loot and then the vault afterwards, or I can't promise that I'll have to wash my robes again if I have to get "Messy", capish?"
• ???: Sorry, buster! (Icky appeared with Iago still in the mailbox) The bank is closed!
• Unknown Thief:... HAH! Are YOU the Lodgers' jesters?
• (Iago): I RESENT THAT, YOU NIMROD!!!
• Icky: No speed for you this time. We have you cornered! There's two of us, and only one of you!
• ???: Wow, you must suck at math even worse than me, baby. Because there's TWO of him. (They were both turned into sheep with the mailbox popping open when Iago was transformed)
• Icky: BAAAAAA!!
• Iago: BAAAAAA?!?!
• Unknown Thief: Well, what took YOU so long, my love? (A female genie appeared)
• Genie Woman: It's Times Square, schnookums.
• Unknown Thief: GEE NEE!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE!
• Iago: BAAAAAAAAAA!!
• Thief 1: "Master Thief, we've got the vault opened! That moolah is ready to go!"
• Master Thief: Excellent! Let's split.
• Iago: BAAAAAAAA!!! (They ran off but accidentally turned on the sprinklers spraying water everywhere and shortening the power to the room, causing everyone to hit each other and end up allowing the police to bust in and arrest all the thieves minus a few and Master Thief, who teleport away with help from Gee Nee)
• Axle: "Oh good, we were able to catch SOME of these sheep! Thanks to the two- (Sees Icky and Iago as sheep)..... Sheep?"
• Jennet: "Uh oh, I think Icky and Iago met Master Thief's Genie."
• Axle: "WAIT, THOSE SHEEP ARE THE LOUGERS?!"
• Icky: "BAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!"
• Iago: "BAAAAAAAAAA?!"
• Axle: ".... I'm gonna assume that's a yes."
• Bullington: "I'll be sure the Lougers are notified."
• Stacy comes in!
• Stacy: "This is Stacy Mill Rumorsica, and-"
• Bullington: "Hey, miss, you have to leave, this is a crime scene!"
• Stacy: "I EXERCISE MY RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF THE PRESS?!"
• Axle: "Hey, get lost before ya become a new Popeyes' Chicken Recipe, lady?!"
• Stacy: "(Quietly) Ohh, a corrupt cop story! Keep talking, eel boy, I can use that!"
• Axle: "I SAID SCRAM, BITCH?!"
• The Cops began forcing Stacy out!
• Icky: "BAAAA?! BAAAAAA?! BAA BAA BAA BAAAAAA?!"
• Jennet: "Sorry, you two will have to find a way to get normal without us!"
• The cops go forword out!
• Icky: ".... (DOES THE GOAT SCREAM?!)"
• Iago: "Baa baaaaaa."
• A Fairy happened to be there and saw the duo.
• Fairy: ".... (Quietly) Those two are gonna need my help. (Gets to the two sheepifived duo) Excuse me, Lougers, I could help you back to being birdbrains again."
• Icky: Baaa?
• Fairy: ".... Okay, this is gonna be hard without you guys speaking English.... Okay, One Baa for yes, two baas for no, understand?"
• Icky:... Baaa.
• Fairy: Alright. (She transformed them back)
• Icky: OH YES, MY JEFF BENNETT VOICE IS BACK!! THANK YOU!!!
• Fairy:... Are you okay? I can assume you tried to beat Master Thief and came across his genie girlfriend?
• Icky: GENIE, girlfriend?
• Iago: Wow. He's got a genie? Well, damn! How're we gonna beat him now?... Who are you anyway?
• Fairy:... My name is Princess Zoe, leader of the Fairy Realms of South America. I was here to inform the Shell Lodgers about some evil plot involving the Master Thief.
• Iago: Wait... Zoe? OH, you mean the one Sparx told us about.
• Zoe: OH, GOD! DO NOT BRING THAT UP! THAT WAS AN EMBARRASSING TIME! EECCKH! I mean, no personal offense to your group considering his membership, but-
• Icky: "We know, this was before the Lougers and what Sparx likely did was I'm sure disgusting and immapprobeate. But if it helps, he's into another Dragonfly that normally hangs out with a King Cobra, and I believe that Sparx has grown up abit."
• Zoe: "All the same, I wish that girl some LUCK! Cause that guy, looks like he's high maintenance to cope with!"
• Iago: "Ahem, ya said something that "Master Thief" guy planning something big?"
• Zoe: Oh, yes indeed. Ahem. Master Thief and Gee Nee are both planning a master heist on MoneyBanks Headquarters.
• Icky: Is he now?
• Zoe: He is now.
• Iago: Hey, we dealt with genies before. You just gotta destroy their lamp.
• Zoe: Gee Nee is a free genie.
• Iago/Icky:.... DAMMIT!
• Icky: Which means she's unstoppable, and by extension, Master Thief.
• Zoe: Why do you think the Thieves Guild is so expansive? They're everywhere. I came after the Thieves Guild started getting more active in South America. Many of my fellow fairies have been kidnapped for the pet trade.
• Iago: UGH! No respect for tiny hotties, am I right?
• Zoe: Watch it, buddy, I've put up with s*** like that from Sparx as is, I don't want to have to include you two into the list of people I have to give royal restraining orders to! Espeically not now when I have earnest need of you two!
• Iago: YIKES, WOMAN!... I like you. You don't take s*** from anyone.
• Zoe: Well, don't get attached. I just need the Lodgers' help to save my people.
• Icky: Ehh, they're kinda occupied at the moment taking a separation break that's now starting to be a thing when Kairi doesn't need protection from the League anymore.
• Zoe: SERIOUSLY?! THE DRAGON REALMS ARE IN A GLOBAL THIEF INVASION, AND THEY'RE GOING OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE?!?
• Iago: Well, on top of that, they promised Kairi they'd help her pack her things to move to Destiny Islands given she's... Married with Sora now.
• Zoe:... Wow. Congratulations. Though I think I can understand why these thieves have gotten so bold recently. They think the Lougers are a non-issue now that they started to take breaks since Kairi is no longer cult bait.
• Icky: None needed, and the league's not nessersarly a cult. Cult-like maybe, but not one in serious nature. Besides, if it helps, we are still an active group otherwise, as now our new secondary purpose is being a family. That happened cause, SpongeBob had a little... Incident, when coping with Kairi being a retired element of the series. Also, uh, oh yeah, THIEVES ARE INVADING EVERYWHERE?!?
• Zoe: Yes. As before, I'm guessing these guys think the Lougers are no real concern anymore now that you guys will start to separate temporarily until ya find a new problem. And boy, are they taking this for granted! MoneyBanks Banks are being raided all over the world.
• Iago: WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT! They're raiding everything everywhere on this world, AND they got an all-powerful free genie on their side, AND while the other Lougers got preoccupied with something else?! AND ONCE AGAIN, I'M SO TICKED OFF THAT I'M MOLTING!!
• Icky: "Ugh, we're gonna end up taking a hit in reputation if Stacy puts two and two together here?! I'm gonna have to make sure I talk to Shen about this and about implementing a way for us to still be in the Dragon Guardian Temple for at least on normal weekdays and to only do our own thing on the weekends and implement some kinda system about crud happening during off-times!"
• Zoe: Ahem. Something for you guys to figure out later. Let's just focus on the intermediate first, THEN worry about waits to prevent further surprises, okay? That said.... There ARE ways to unfree a Genie.
• Icky: There are?
• Zoe: Yeah. I mean, there's some genie magic books about rebinding a genie to a lamp or bottle if they prove unworthy to be free, like when they abuse their infinite power. And I can imagine getting with criminals counts as such.
• Icky: Then why didn't you just use that when she showed up?
• Zoe: You think I hadn't tried?

Cutaway

• Zoe: (She buzzed in to find the Fairy Library ransacked)... (The camera panned off far away so that Zoe's cursing and angry rage was squeaky)

Present

• Zoe: Gee Nee took all genie books.
• Iago: Hey, there's magic books in the library. I bet there's one about genies there.

Library

• Icky: Got any books about dealing with free genies?
• Librarian: No, sorry. A free genie came in and bought all the copies.
• Icky: DAMMIT, that's the 57th library with that same story! And I bet the Dragon Guardian Temple Libary had some copies taken too!
• Zoe: Like I said, Gee Nee is a smart woman, even inspite sometimes acting like a giggly cunt.
• Icky: F*******************!!
• Everyone: SSSHHH!
• Icky:... (Quietly) F************************!
• Everyone: (Quietly) LANGUAGE!

Outside

• Icky: UGH!
• Zoe: Ahem. Well, since the Lodgers are, busy with helping their grown-up princess, and that likely you guys are the best I can have at the moment, how about you two just fill in for them and help out?
• Icky: "Ya know we can just call with them our communicators and-"
• Zoe: "Let's be honest boys, those things likely didn't survived your little sprinkler surprise."
• The Duo looked at their ruined communicators....
• Iago: Frick... Eh, beats sitting around here complaining about having nothing better to do.
• Icky: Let's head out, babe.
• Zoe:... And for the record... (She zapped him in the balls as he did this)

ANK!!

• Zoe: DON'T, CALL ME BABE!
• Icky: AHHHAH, OKAY, PAMELA ANDERSON, JESUS!! OHHO, I THINK SHE JUST MADE MY BALLS DISAPPEAR!!
• Zoe: "Don't worry, that's only the numbing sensation, it wears off eventually."
• Icky: "And now I'm back to being scared of tiny people with bug wings again like with the History Sprites. Owwwww."
• Zoe: "Then that teaches you to not underestimate fairies just because we're like tiny flying dolls to you."
• Icky: Sex dolls or regular dolls-
• Zoe: BOOOOTH!!!
• Icky/Iago: "AAAAAAAAH?!"
• Iago: "Now I'm scared of tiny people with bug wings!"
• Zoe: GOOD! I'd rather be feared than loved.
• Iago: I'd prefer the other way around, but there's ALWAYS too much of a good thing.
• Icky: Whatever, let's just go to the SA.

South American Rainforest

• Zoe: (They teleported there) Here we are.
• Iago: WHOAHOA! That was quick.
• Zoe: Well, our homes were bad enough since we're STILL recovering from the 2019 Magic Fritz, but so far it's been going well.... Mostly.
• ???: Zoe! You're back! (A glasses-wearing fairy appeared) Did you tell the Lodgers about our situation?
• Zoe: No, no, Miss Bubbles, they're occupied on some... Princess business.
• Bubbles: AGAIN?! My magical spell scrolls have all been SWIPED, and THEY'RE doing something else?!
• Zoe: I KNOW! In fact, it may have been why the thieves became so bold recently! It almost makes me wish the League didn't decide to give up that hiatused plan because it took too long and that the guy who made it turned out to be crazy! But these two are all we got of them.
• Bubbles:... The jesters? Seriously? I would've rather you brought the dragonfly back, cause at least he'll be connected to the Purple Dragon and Cynder!
• Iago: Watch it, sister.
• Zoe: Sorry about her. This is my secretary and master mage scribe, Bubbles.
• Icky: Heheh. Cute name.
• Bubbles: CUTE?!?
• Zoe:... And she doesn't like being hit on as much as I don't.
• Icky: "Hey whoa, easy, I meant cute as a platonic compliment, I have a griffin girlfriend!"
• Iago: "And I'm all good with a rainbow weather bird!"
• Bubbles: "Still not crazy with being called "Cute" though! I have a bad association with that word from guys who are PERVS about it!"
• Icky: "Is that gonna be true with every fairy? Even the dudes?"
• Bubbles: If it involves the opposite gender, yes. Love HAS no boundaries.
• Zoe: It's true. We may not be an easily f***able size, but the next best thing would be having a little person playing with your unmentionables. YEEEEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!
• Icky: Touche. So, where's your fairy buddies?
• Iago: "And I hope their situation isn't too difficult to handle."
• Zoe: Too bad, it is. THAT'S why we made such a big deal about you all not being here. There's too many thieves.
• Iago: AAAHGH!
• Zoe: CAN YOU NOT SCREAM YOUR DRY GILBERT GOTTFRIED VOICE?!? IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAT WITH LARYNGITIS!!
• Iago: What'd you expect? I'm a parrot.
• Zoe: Whatever, look, all my friends KINDA need help. I REFUSE to allow Isabelle, Calliope, Liz, Flora, Cookie, Doodles, Clara, Dotty, and most importantly, Persephone and her squad, to be PETS! Or at worse, sex slaves for people's perverse pleasures!
• Iago: Wow, with fairies with SOME names like those, they'd SOUND like pets.
• Zoe: INDEED! It's APPALLING! I've taken a LOT of flirting and humiliation over my years as leader of the Fairy Realms, but THIS, THIS is where I draw the line!
• Icky: Hasn't this happened before?
• Zoe: Not since THAT time with Sparx. Seriously, it's SO annoying that ONE master heist for MoneyBanks HQ is enough to get ALL the thieves coming out at the same time.
• Icky: (Sighs) We'll see what we can do. Just direct us to where the guys of this location are hiding out in.
• Bubbles: "They went somewhere east, possibly where an old Ape Base resides from back in the times before the rebirth."
• Iago: "Then that's where we're going."

The abandoned Ape Base.

• The Thieves gathered up the fairies in cages, as the operation is monitored by an Arpeggio-looking Parrot.
• Thief Assistant: "Good news, Count Winnipeggus, the fairies are ready for sale."
• Count Winnipeggus: "(Chuckles), Yeees. I could not ask for a better way to celebrate the Lougers' self-easing by having the perfect new pet items for my black market pet trade! The guild will make a FORTUNE from these little beauties!"
• Thief assistant: "Even if that customer might be a perv?"
• Count Winnipeggus: "Now now, Tomas, we're not in the business to question the motives of customers. We're in the business of having a non-law sanctioned operation."
• Tomas: "I know sir, just checking."
• Count Winnipeggus: "So, are all fairies accounted for?"
• Tomas: "..... Ehhhhhh, the queen and her sidekick kinda proved too difficult to catch, so-"
• Count Winnipeggus: "YOU DIDN'T CATCH THE QUEEN?! Oh now she's gonna become a problem for us and risk having the Lougers' alarmed?! YOU BUNGLER?!"
• Tomas: "Uh, don't, don't worry sir, I thought ahead and asked for a super scary mercenary to go after her!"
• Count Winnipeggus: "Which one?"
• Tomas: "Well, he's basically a defect Ape that's gone to the mercenary life. That guy is a REAL BEAST, believe me! He claims to be the brother of Gaul, but-"
• Count Winnipeggus: "(Surprised face) You hired Helheim the Gore Master? HE'S TOO OVERKILL FOR EVEN THE FAIRY QUEEN?! HE'LL END UP' BRINGING HER BACK DEAD, EVEN IF IT'S JUST BLOOD ON HIS WRIST BLADES?! Also, HE DOES NOT COME CHEAP?! I'm gonna have to give all my profits!"
• Tomas: "Don't worry sir, I asked him to bring the queen and the scribe back alive!"
• Count Winnipeggus: "Well, good, BUT HE'S STILL GONNA BE EXPENSIVE TO PAY BACK?! Ugh, at least there's the hope that maybe he'll be the guy that would cream those misfits should they get involved now! OH NOW I'M WORRIED HE'LL CHARGE EXTRA IF THEY GET INVOLVED?!"
• Tomas: We'll figure it out, okay?! Also, the apes have been recovering from a bad reputation lately. Not ALL apes are loyal to Malefor and the Villain League. It's like... Unmentionable real-life terrorists... Their actions affect their own people too. Plus, some that used to serve Malefor are STILL cursed into being living skeletons.
• Count Winnipeggus: That's the thing. HE used to serve Malefor too, until he had the smarts to realize that Malefor was too evil for his own good and left before he could suffer the same curse his followers suffered. Now that the Dragon Realms are reformed, he has to make a new name for himself. No rules but his own. And his rules, are absolutely risky for those who hire him. He's not called the 'Gore Master' for nothing. He's the Grim Reaper. He never leaves without taking a soul!
• Tomas: Well, there's a first time for everything. Tomas isn't even my real name. I just stole it from one of the Dragons that helped settlers rebuild the Dragon Realms after the Great Cleansing. The warrior bard.
• Count Winnipeggus:... Why? And what's your real name?
• Tomas:... Because I wanted respect, and... Gaylord.
• Count Winnipeggus:... (Scoffs into hysterical laughter)
• Tomas: SEE, THIS IS WHY I CHANGED IT!! A NAME LIKE TOMAS GIVES ME RESPECT!!
• Count Winnipeggus: Sorry, it's just, if you wanted respect, do it in a way that doesn't paint you as a guy stealing the name of a heroic crusader dragon. Plus, YOU STOLE HIS NAME?!? YOU DO KNOW THAT ALL THOSE DRAGONS ARE STILL ALIVE, RIGHT?! IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN THAT LONG SINCE THE CRUSADES!!! YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT BAD ATTENTION TO ME!!
• Tomas: Look, Tomas is a Spanish equivalent to Thomas, okay?! It's not an uncommon name. In fact, names like Jesus or Adolf aren't uncommon either. When you have a name like that, of COURSE people are going to take it badly. LIKE ME! I didn't technically STEAL it since it's a common name. So, we're safe.
• Count Winnipeggus:... Ugh! Don't EVER scare me like that again... (Scoffs) Gaylord! (He burst into laughter)
• Tomas: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Well, say goodbye to this fairy sale, MISTER!
• Count Winnipeggus: NONONO, SORRY, IT'S JUST, I HAD TO LET IT OUT! Ahem. Look, let's just get this smuggling business over with, and hopefully before this Helheim finishes his job. I want to be able to at least make enough profit that can survive that ape's prices!
• Tomas: "We'll worry about that when we start crossing that bridge, sir."

Later...

• Icky: (They saw how different the Dragon Realms Amazon Rainforest was to the original, as it was an enchanted rainforest of magical creatures, seeing its beauty as this played)

01 "Life Is a Magic Thing" - Johnny Clegg

• Zoe: Meh.
• Iago: MEH?!?
• Zoe: Um, when you live in this paradise, you get used to it.
• Iago A-... Okay, good point. But still, you're lucky, your highness.
• Zoe: Well, when you're STILL recovering from the 2019 Magic Fritz, AND the one who caused it said magic was for idiots, you don't seem to get into it as you should.
• Icky:... (Sighs) I know we say this a lot, but, THANKS A LOT, STAR!!
• Iago: So, aren't you glad you got this beauty back?
• Zoe: Buddy, this is only the tip of the iceberg. What you saw was NOTHING compared to what the Fairy Realms TRULY is. In fact, this scenery is poultry compared to what we can have!
• Icky: "I would imagine that's saying a lot since you reacted to all this as if it was "Oh-Hum" typical!"
• Zoe: Well, when you've seen it all, it makes ruling the land easier.... I've had to play it serious since my parents died in the Great Cleansing. I had to watch my parents die when I was keeping the Fairy Realms together. If that wasn't bad enough, we had little to work with since everything was changed. We went to poverty, and, well, the smuggler problem Spyro, Cynder, and... The other guy, had to deal with came.... When you're the leader, you can't even waste time on love. That, and we fairies have our dignity.
• Iago:... Well, if it's any consolation, your home is pretty. Almost as pretty as you.
• Zoe: I get that a lot.
• ???: GUYS! (Two fairies appeared)
• Zoe: Persephone?! Calliope?!
• Icky: Wait, these two, escaped?!
• Zoe: They ARE the leaders of my royal mage guard. They defended us well in the war against Malefor.
• Persephone: And you would not BELIEVE what I have been through TONIGHT!

Cutaway

• Thug: Wow. You're pretty.
• Persephone: Yeah yeah, pretty fairy, blah blah, just get us out of here, big guy.
• Thug:... Well... I would, but boss's orders. But... Maybe we can work something out. I can blow you guys out with a spell... But you must help me with some relief.
• Persephone: WHA, GROSS! NO WAY, NO HOW, WE FAIRIES HAVE OUR DIGNITY!!
• Thug: No boom-boom, no, BOOM-boom!
• Persephone:... And what's to stop us from buzzing away?
• Thug: I just gotta scream and you'll be in enchanted nets quickly.
• Persephone:...
• Calliope: Ugh!
• Persephone:...

Present

• Persephone: I had to bathe for HOURS!!
• Calliope: Me too!!
• Icky: I feel so sorry for you two.
• Persephone: Don't take pity on me. We've had to do WORSE!... MUUUCH, WOOOORSE!!!
• Calliope: And for a small creature, you do NOT want us to name all of them.
• Iago: OKAY, TOO MUCH INFO! AT LEAST YOU GUYS ARE OKAY!
• Thug: (He peeked out) JUST KIDDING!!
• Persephone: JEEZAHH!!!
• Thug: THIS'LL COVER-UP OUR SILLY DEAL!! AHAHAHA! Winnipeggus won't have my head for this when I- (Suddenly, something shot him to the ground from behind, revealing himself to be an ape' like Gaul)
• Iago: "..... Did we, just got rescued by Gaul?"
• Ape: "Can you kindly NOT confuse me for my brother?! I no longer want anything to do with his crazed intentions for Malefor!"
• Icky: "Wait, Gaul's you're bro? Gaul had a brother? Did Spyro and Cynder knew this?"
• Iago: "Well I'm sure the subject would've come up long ago, so I assume NOT!"
• Ape: "Perhaps proper introductions are in order. I, am Helheim the Gore Master."
• Icky: "Subtle."
• Helheim: "Hey, it's about presentation as a mercenary. Anyway, I was hired by a Thieves Guilder that was working with this fool's superior to capture the queen and her scribe. But in light that the idiot caused two additional fairies to escape and that the Lougers' clowns are involved.... Well, just an extra reason to add to the price of my services, especially since Count Winnipeggus is a very rich black marketer."
• Icky: "Ugh, figures you only killed this dumbass so ya can make easy payments."
• Helheim: "Hey, don't take it personally. I'm a mercenary. I'm not legally allowed to question the ethics of temporary employers. Believe me, I did favors for, worse people than a black market pet-trader parrot, and sometimes for less."
• Iago: "Not exactly a very noble life."
• Helheim: "WELL THANKS TO MY BROTHER'S STUPIDITY, IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN GET A NORMAL JOB?! Apes have a hated reputation in this world."
• Icky: "Well it's not helping your bro and his guys are with the Villain League, so-"
• Helheim: NOT ALL APES SERVE MALEFOR, YOU MORONS!!! The rest are still in our homeland of the Ape Kingdom. And THEY had to suffer Malefor's curse because of what MY brother and others did.
• Iago: Wait... THEY'VE BEEN SKELETONS SINCE SPYRO AND CYNDER WENT INTO THAT TIME CRYSTAL?!?
• Helheim:... You never noticed this... FOR ALL THESE YEARS?!?
• Icky: Hey, we thought his magic was gone since he was defeated.
• Helheim: And you never bothered to check?!
• Iago:... I'm, tempted to say yes... But-
• Helheim: "(Angerly) IIIIIIII?! (Icky and Iago got scared as they hid behind the fairies)...... (Sighs calming down)..... (Sadly) Can't blame you for your ignorance. I won't pretend that my brother didn't paint a false image for Ape kind. I'd imagined as far as you two or even Spyro and Cynder would care to know, that we apes are nothing but mindless savages that recklessly helped an evil dragon to be freed and contributed to the disastrous cleansing! I can't be mad at people for making assumptions."
• Icky: "(Still frighten) Look, buddy, if it helps, we'll talk to the other Lougers about it and we'll work to fix it. I'm sure if Cynder and Spyro found out that not all apes are with yer bro, any pre-conceived notions will die faster then bugs vs. Raid!"
• Helheim: "How can I trust that? Espeically to guys I just admitted that I only "helped" from this idiot to help myself and to be able to extend my price-range?"
• Icky: All you had to do was ask. Plus, as a pretty scary bounty hunter, I'm sure that this Winnipeggus guy will betray you out of fear. Especially because ya killed one of his guys.
• Helheim:... Well... I am no stranger to being betrayed out of fear, nor because of biting the hands that paid me.... Very well. I shall help you free the fairies.
• Zoe: Seriously? It was THAT easy?!
• Persephone: WHAT THE F***ATAUR?!?
• Icky: "Hey, you ladies are about not being underestimated just because ya look adorable, right? Well just because me and Iago are no Shens or Spyros and Cynders, doesn't mean we're automatically the weak-links. Our best power is hijinks, and that these us-centric episodes always seem to give us villains that aren't exactly competent or narratively original and that we're able to guess what these guys would do at some point."
• Zoe: ".... Well, then, in that case, I'm willing to say I'm actually impressed. I'm willing to believe that we're in good enough hands."

Material

Welcome to the forty thieves - lyrics

Thieves Guild Song