Oily Joe

Oily Joe, the spoiled crane.

Shíyóu Qiáo (Oily Joe by the people of the west or by himself) is Crane's great uncle who has an unhealthingly large obsession with oil. Years of exposure to oil has made him mentally impaired, and mostly ill.


Qiáo first became permanently dripping oil when he stumbled upon a large oil spill in a lake that was caused by oil farmers from the West. Not knowing what this strange substance was, Qiáo peered too close to see what it was before accidentally falling into the black goo. This turns Qiáo into a mentally retarded psycho, and the oil affecting his brain makes him obsessed with oil. No one in the Valley of Peace wanted to touch him anymore because of his condition, and Qiáo lost his only friends. Crane felt bad about Qiáo and decided to have a talk with him. However, he realizes that Qiáo has become extremely obsessed with oil, and decides to find a way to cure him before he kills himself. Also, because no one liked him, and bullied him for his condition, Qiao started to become insane and violently lashed out at anyone who tried to talk to him. interestingly, Crane or anyone who is friends with crane are exceptions of this behavior, because, dispite Crane's personal nip-picks on him, Crane knows he is still good inside.

Years later, Qiao got paralyzed after once again exposing himself to oil. Chinese doctors bring him to a hospital where he wakes up after 2 days. The doctors are concerned for Qiao's safety, and after examining his condition, learn that he cannot touch anymore oil otherwise he will die. So they send him to a rehabilitation center in hopes of getting him to resist the need to splash himself with oil. But each time, his mentally impaired brain is unable to learn to get over it. So, they decide that Qiao's only hope is with his great nephew Crane. So the doctors decide to bring Qiao to him so that he can be saved.


  • "Me love oil! It taste like rocks."
  • "SHIFU LOOK FUNNY!!! Shifu look...FUNNY!!! Shifu look funny!"
  • "Me like cooking oil, and me like olive oil! But me do not like cooked olive oil! WEIRD!"
  • "Whales. Me love whales...they have oil chins."
  • "Crane look skinny. CRANE LOOK SKINNYYYYYYYYYYY!!! (Laughs hard) SKINNY CRANE!!"
  • "But me love oil!...(Scoffs, and laughs hard) BUTTS! They make poopie! Yes, they do! (Laughs hard)"
  • "OIL, OIL, OIL, EVERYWHERE!! MUST HAVE...OIL! (Laughs hard)"
  • "(Laughs) Panda fat! You look like Jupiter! (Laughs) And belly button Red Spot!"
  • "Watch me! (Holds nose, and honks, spewing oil out of his ears) HAHAHAHA! Me ears go potty! (Laughs)"
  • " Me tummy is talking to Joe! (Barfs) EEEEEWWWWW!!! ME THROW UP!"
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.