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Oily on the Outside, Crazy on the Inside is the 11th Episode of the 2nd Season of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Crane's crazed great uncle Oily Joe always loved oil, but the prolonged exposure to it is making him extremely ill. Doctors arrive at the Dragon Temple to bring Oily Joe to Crane. The doctors tell Crane that Joe is on the verge of suffering greatly ever since his borned addiction from a long time ago when Crane was still a hacthling. The doctors also note that after examining his illness, they learn that Joe has been too contaminated for this oil obsession to continue. So they inform Crane that in order for Joe to be cured, he must not touch any more oil for the next 48 hours, or he will die. Now, Crane has to keep Joe as far away from oil as possible. But it will be difficult since oil can be found all around him. But what's worse is that Oily Joe has discovered that there is an oil factory 5 miles owned by Crane's brother Kevin's rivil Oil Tycoon Mr. Oilspill from the Temple, who hates Kevin's family for Kevin's ambitions to try and shut down all oil factories with renewable engry. He attempts to go after it, and now it's up to the Lodge, and the returning Kevin to save him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

Transcript 

Chapter 1: The Black Slime

Oil rig area.

  • Workers are collecting Oil from the local dragon realms swamp, as a figure watches them from afar in his office.
  • ???: "Work faster! My industy isn't gonna keep itself alive you know!"
  • Suddenly, a strange looking crane is seen around the area. he stoles an oil barrol and runs away without notice!
  • ???: (Chuckles) Lovely oil!
  • ???: FASTER! FASTER, YOU SLOWPOKES, OR YOU DON'T GET YOUR RAISE!
  • Worker: We're going as fast as we can, Mr. Poozinhower.
  • Mr. Oilspill: What did I tell you about calling me that? I said call me 'Mr. Oilspill'!
  • Worker 2: Why 'Oilspill'? How about 'Oilsonhower'?
  • Mr. Oilspill: Because people would laugh at that, too. Now shut up and get the oil moving. (Suddenly a painful bird caw is heard) What the hell was that?
  • Worker: Maybe David got himself on fire again. Tell you something, it wasn't pretty last time.

Cutaway

  • David: (Prepares to pee on a fire)
  • Worker: David, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Have you seen Joe Dirt?
  • David: Never heard of it--(Gets caught on fire due to being covered in oil) AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Dubbed as Mr. Krabs) AAAH, MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!!! MY UNDERWEAR IS ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!!!
  • Worker: SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!

Present

  • David: I'm right here, idiot!
  • Worker: Oh. Then I guess we should go see what happened. (Everyone heads over to see an oily crane with spilled oil barrels on him, and he is now stiff and pale)
  • Mr. Oilspill: OH, SHIT! Not Oily Joe again! He's been doing this since his accident! I told him to stop this mad craving for oil!
  • David: Uh, he doesn't look too good, sir! Should we get him to the hospital?
  • Mr. Oilspill: Yeah, maybe that'll teach him not to expose himself to so much oil all the time. I mean, the same thing happened to him during the Deepwater Horizon oilspill of 2010!

Cutaway

  • Oily Joe: (Breaches from oily water in the oilspill while 'What a Wonderful World' plays, but when it gets to the 'What a Wonderful...') YAHHK! (Falls into the water, and sinks to the sea floor stiff and pale)
  • Fish: (Sniffs the essence of Oily Joe's oily feathers, and barfs off camera)

Present

  • Mr. Oilspill: It took him a week to get out of that coma.
  • David: Well, he can't help it, sir! The oil he's been exposed to has made him mentally retarded to recognize the consequences of oil exposure.
  • Mr. Oilspill: I know, but he still needs to learn. Someone get him to a hospital! I think I know someone who might be able to help him.

Chapter 2: Oily Joe

Dragon Temple, 2 days later...

  • Icky: "Aw man, That forth of July was something. It's ashame that we're gonna have to start going back to work again."
  • Lord Shen: "Well here's what concerns me. Tri-Corn allowed some little twerp named Mr. Oilspill to get recently discovered untabbed oil in the dragon realm swamps. For some, odd reason, he reminds me of that little jerk Aliwishious O'Hare."
  • Icky: "The main villain from the modern Lorax movie?"
  • Lord Shen: Yeah, that's the one.
  • Kowalski: Why would she do that? Doesn't she know what oil can do to a poor soul's body? It's not pretty, I'll tell you that. I know this seagull friend of mine who was involved in the San Fransisco Bay oilspill of 2007. He lost his ability to fly, and got eaten by a wolf. It also got worse for his wife when she was forced to get kidney surgery after she got exposed to oil, but it failed, and she died. Their babies had to be put in an orphanage without the care of their parents.
  • Private: That's terrible!
  • Skipper: You think that's terrible, you should've seen how hard it was for Manfredi and Johnson to save a baby duckling from the Exxon Valdez oilspill of 1989. Manfredi had to have a kidney transplant, and Johnson had a liver transplant.
  •  Boss Wolf: DAMN! Are you serious?
  • Skipper: As serious as a heart attack.
  • Crane: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about oil any longer, guys, really.
  • Po: Why not?
  • Crane: I don't wanna talk about it.
  • Gloria: Aw, c'mon, Crane, would you just tell us? I mean, really, what could happen? (Suddenly doctors burst into the room carrying a stretcher with a cloth covering the body)
  • Alex: What the--?
  • Doctor: (To Crane) Are you Crane?
  • Crane: Yes. What's this about? (The doctors remove the cloth to reveal a sick Oily Joe, and Crane gasps) JOE!
  • Tigress: Joe?
  • Icky: Joe Mama!
  • Mantis: Someone you know, Crane?
  • Crane looks horrifived!
  • Crane: "He's, (barely struggles to fight off man crying), he's, MY UNCLE?!"
  • Other Furious 5: "WHAT?!"
  • Po: "WHAT?!"
  • Shifu: "WHAT?!"
  • Shen: "WHAT?!"
  • Kaa: "WHAT?!"
  • Nostagilia Critc (camio): "(This video.)"
Nostalgia Critic "wha-wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaa?"-0

Nostalgia Critic "wha-wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaa?"-0

full

  • Icky: "Don't ya just love a Nostagila Critic Camio?"
  • Devon: "Not me for obvious reasons."
  • Lord Shen: "What happened to this old bird?"
  • Crane: Well, it's kind of hard to explain...

Flashback

  • (Crane): Uncle Qiao got stuck in an oil spill in the lake he waded in when oil farmers accidentally spilled some. The oil made him mentally retarded and he craved tons and tons of oil. But this exposure to oil was affecting his health extremely.  No one in the Valley of Peace wanted to touch him anymore because of his condition, and Joe lost his only friends. I felt bad about him and decided to have a talk with him. However, it was then I realized that something bad had happened to him.
  • Crane: Excuse me, Uncle Qiao?
  • Oily Joe: Oh, hello, Crane! You have to try oil! Taste like rocks! (Dumps oil onto himself)
  • Crane: Oh my, God! That is disgusting! Uncle Qiao, do you have any idea what that will do to your body?!?
  • Oily Joe: Oil is black...just like black-eyed peas! (Laughs) It totally is.
  • Crane:...Dear God! You've been craving oil, haven't you? What happened to you after you fell into that oil spill?
  • Oily Joe: I feel good for first time in life. Oil is so much better than weed. Not that I know what that feels like.
  • Crane: Qiao, you do realize that no one is gonna want to come near you, right?
  • Oily Joe: DO NOT REMIND ME ABOUT THAT!!! I lost friends recently, and I hate it! I am lonely! No one wants to see me, nobody cares about me except my family! But by being reminded by you, I say you get out!
  • Crane: But Uncle Qiao--
  • Oily Joe: NOW! (Crane flies out) Who needs friends when I got something better? (Takes an oil bath) I feel like C-3PO! (Laughs) Droids drink oil cappuchino! (Laughs) Oh, God! Am I a droid, too? (Crane looks out the window, and feels sorrow)
  • (Crane): I realized that Qiao has become extremely obsessed with oil, and there was not much I could do about it. He wouldn't talk to me for years. He wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't just let him kill himself. Also, because no one liked him, and bullied him for his condition, he was violent and angry at people. Some people who had messed with him have been victims of being poisoned by his oil. He even reacts horribly to fire.
  • Oily Joe: (Seeing fire) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH! FIRE!!! HOT! NO WANT TO BE ROASTED TURKEY! (Laughs) Turkeys are birds like me! BUT HELL, I HATE FIRE!!!
  • (Crane): But despite all these mental issues he has been through throughout his lifetime, there was nothing I could do. I thought he would be this way for the rest of his life. I even saw him swimming in an oil-slicked ocean one day carrying a dead whale to shore, ripped open his cheeks, and eating his oil glands.
  • (Mr. Krabs): I think I'm gonna be sick!
  • (Crane): I still knew he had some good inside, and I knew he was gonna change...

Present

  • Crane: But apparently he hasn't! I was fearful this day would come for a long time! Uncle Qiao is sick, and there's still nothing I can do! He's doomed to be this way forever!
  • Banzai: (Barfs for a full 30 seconds dubbed as Brian) Oh, boy! That kind of story is awful hard to swallow!
  • Shenzi: Hey, I know that oily story was gross, but that was way more than what the kids needed to see. And I'm sure your stomach would agree. (Ed laughs)
  • Banzai: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well laugh all you want, Sheki, but this is serious!
  • Ed the Otter: Amen.
  • Icky: "Boy i hate to think what would happen if Tri-corn meets this guy. I doubt she'll ever trust Oil factilitys ever again."
  • Lord Shen: "Well as much as i am not fond of that new facility, we can't let Tri-corn ever see him. I mean, Oil may be dangerious, but we're still tragicly away from the age of renewable engry and fuel. And she is already against Oil cause of the nortourious spills alone, can you igmainge her react if it also turn people into obcessive retards that are killing themselfs?"
  • Skipper: "Sadly, the white Peacock makes a point. Oil, as dangerious as it is, is still a needed reshorse. Some say it's the key to better the crap ecomity."
  • Cynder: "Well, the oil industy is trying hard to reduse dishasters... it's, ashame it's not well enough."
  • Sandy: "I don't wanna sound like a Paranoid Sammy, but, can we really trust Mr. Oilspill? I mean, his name alone sounds evil, and Shen mentioned earlier before he reminds him of the main villain from Lorax."
  • Crane: "Nows not the time to be worried on something like that. I have an uncle in need of help!"
  • Lord Shen: "Alchourse. We'll worry about Oilspill's sense of morrality another time. A life is at stake."
  • Savio: "Obviously."
  • Crane: "Anyway, is he gonna be ok?"
  • Doctor: I'm afraid not. His exposure to oil has poisoned his immune system, and now it is way too weak.
  • Skipper: Can he be cured?
  • Doctor: Well, there is some good news. He has been exposing himself to oil 24-7, so microscopic examination proves that he can indeed be cured. His cravings should wear off in only 2 days as long as he doesn't get exposed to the substance. That means no more oil besides his own. If he touches even a single drop of oil, he will die within seconds.
  • Private and Rico: Uhhgh!
  • Crane: Oh, no!
  • Oily Joe: (Wakes up from his coma, and gasps at the sight of Crane) CRANE! It's really great to see you! (Gets up and hugs him, getting him covered in his own oil)
  • Crane: Ugh! Uncle Qiao? There's something we gotta tell you.
  • Oily Joe: Ooh, what a nice place you have here...but it's a little rundown. (Tries flying, but his oiled-up wings make it impossible) Uhgh! Cannot fly!
  • Crane: Well, it's probably because of all that oil on your wings.
  • Oily Joe: Whales...I like whales! They have...oil chins. (Laughs)
  • Crane: (Sighs) Oh, dear.
  • Ignitus: (Comes in) Uh, what's going on here? Why is there oil dripping all over the place?
  • Spyro: Well, Crane's Uncle Qiao has came because he needs our help. He's had years of craving oil, and he cannot touch anymore of it, or he will die.
  • Cyril: Gross!
  • Oily Joe: Hello, Crane! Do you know what my daddy did? Poop. He pooped! Boop-de-doop doop boop. Ah, somebody left some poop in his pants. (Laughs)
  • Icky: (Laughs at Oily Joe's comment) That is so funny! Retards are the funniest people in history.
  • Crane: Icky!
  • Icky: I take it back!
  • Oily Joe: (Draws a picture of Crane on the wall with his oil) Looky, Crane! It's you! And you look...funny. (Laughs)
  • Doctor: Well, we'll leave you to take care of him for the next 2 days. Good luck. (The doctors leave)
  • Skipper: Well, it looks like we're on retard control, Lodgers. No oil for this guy for the next 48 hours.
  • Oily Joe: Who wants to have french fries? I got the olive oil! (Laughs)
  • Crane: Uh, Uncle Qiao? Olive oil is not really oil. It's just animal fats and plant oils.
  • Oily Joe: AWW!...But still, I LIKE IT!
  • Skipper: RETRIEVE THAT OLIVE OIL! We don't know if that will account for oil!
  • Kowalski: (Uses his Extend-o-Grab to grab the olive oil from Oily Joe, and lock it and other oils like cooking oil, sunflower oil, and corn oil into a counter) Safe and sound.
  • Oily Joe: NO! This is a matter of life and death germs!
  • Private: Joe, the doctor said no oil for the next 48 hours. If you touch another drop, you'll die!
  • Oily Joe: Oh, please, I will recover. Oil is wonderful!
  • Skipper: (Slaps him in the beak) GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT, YOU RETARDED CRANE!!! YOU...WILL DIE...IF YOU...TOUCH ANYMORE...OIL!!! GOT THAT?!?
  • Oily Joe: Alligators...and crocodiles...are the same thing! (Laughs) They totally are!
  • Skipper: (Shrugs) This crane is insane in the membrane!
  • Kowalski: Nice alliteration, Skipper, but we still have a lot of work to do.
  • Oily Joe: Go on, do your work. I'm gonna be busy looking for oily refreshment.
  • Crane: (Sighs) This won't be easy.

Chapter 3: Stay Away From The Oil!

Van room.

  • Boss Wolf and some other wolfs are repairing the Van.
  • Boss Wolf: "Shen ordered us to make sure this van is in tip-top shape, so let's fix it up boys."
  • Wolf: "Wow. How extreme was the last mission it went on?"
  • Boss Wolf: "Actselly, the local swamp kids took it to a joyride..... again..... and crashed.... again."
  • Wolf: Uggh, you mean the Swamp Marshies? I hate those kids! I hope their parents know how to take care of them nowadays! Especially after what they did to our van last time.

Cutaway

  • Frog Child: What are we gonna do, guys? I'm bored!
  • Lizard Child: I know! Let's go swimming in the swamp and see how long we can hold our breath underwater!
  • Turtle Child: I don't think that's a great idea, Gody. Especially after we almost got eaten by Old Man Gator last month.
  • Gody: Oh...well, how about we go tree swinging and act like Tarzan.
  • Frog Child: No, that's out. We were sent to jail for public nudity after our loincloths were ripped off by a branch.
  • Gody: Says the frog with no pants on!
  • Frog: WHY YOU LITTLE--?!?
  • Turtle Child: Relax, guys! We'll think of something...(Gasps) I know! Let's take the Lodger's van out for a wheelie.
  • Gody: That is a fantastic idea, Shelbon! Let's do it!!!

A few minutes later...

  • Frog Child: (The car is totaled) I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!
  • Gody: Okay, let's not panic! Nobody saw it, and they WON'T see it! We'll forget this ever happened! Nobody will ever know!
  • Shelbon: It was still awesome, though, right?
  • Gody: Totally! (All give high-fives)

Present

  • Boss Wolf: "We found them out eventally thanks to the van's hidden servalence system."
  • Wolf: When I see those kids again, they'll be walking funny for a week. Now, have we got the equipment we need to fix this wreck?
  • Boss Wolf: Yes. We got tools, a new fuel and oil supply--
  • Oily Joe: (From distance) OOOOIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!!!!
  • Wolf: You HAD to say it, didn't you?
  • Boss Wolf; JUST HIDE THE BLACK SHIT!!! (They do that)
  • Oily Joe: (Jumps through a window, and he falls down the roof, and crashes, unable to fly)...Aw, coal nuggets, still can't fly! Anyway, WHERE'S THE OIL?!?
  • Wolf: Get out of here, you glob of retard! We have a van to fix here!
  • Wolf 2: Since when did Crane get all oily like that?
  • Wolf 3: "No, that's Crane's crazy Oil obcessed Uncle."
  • Oily Joe: I NEED OIL!!! GIMME THE OIL!!! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!!
  • Boss Wolf: Dude, do you have a death wish? You can't have this stuff!
  • Oily Joe: BUT I LOVE OIL!!! I WANT OIL!!! GIVE ME OIL!!!
  • Boss Wolf: Someone get rid of this bird before he soils my fur!
  • Wolf: "But that would mean, having to touch him."
  • Wolf 4: "Better yet, i got an idea! (Brings out some Olive Oil) Hey, i got Olive oil fresh from olives!"
  • Wolf 4 runs away as Oily Joe chased him!
  • Boss Wolf: Blech! That was disgusting. Now let's fix this van up before another wrong-doing kicks into gear.

Temple Living Room

  • Oily Joe: Hey, everyone! Watch me! (Holds nose, honks, and oil spews out of his ears) (Laughs) My ears go potty!
  • Iago: (Scoffs, and laughs) THAT is funny!
  • Tigress: Gross!
  • Lord Shen: (Comes in, and slips on the oil, and crashes through a wall with the hole in the shape of Lord Shen) OW!
  • SpongeBob: Oh my God! Lord Shen, are you okay?
  • Lord Shen: No! That soiled bird is getting stabbed for this!
  • Po: Lord Shen, I don't think that's necessary!
  • Oily Joe: (Laughs) Panda fat! You look like Jupiter! (Laughs) And belly button is The Red Spot.
  • Po: UHGH! Why I never! How could you EVER be Crane's uncle?!
  • Mantis: "He's on Crane's mother side."
  • Icky: "Oh you wanna know something weird? Crane's mother is actselly canon in Legends of Awesomeness now."
  • Po: "Oh yeah. I remember that episdoe."
  • Lord Shen: "Speaking of this, where is Crane?"
  • Po: "Something about calling his family, and/or to man cry."
  • Lord Shen: "Calling his family?"
  • Tigress: "Well, this is a family matter, so he desevres the need to cope with those he cares for."

Crane's Room

  • Crane: (On phone) And the doctor said he cannot touch anymore oil for 48 hours, or he'll die.
  • Yan Fan: Good Golly, you can't be serious!
  • Crane: "Trust me, i never joke about this. This isn't even something Icky would joke about. We couldn't even let him joke about a certain dishastor in New York in our Oliver and Company crossover. How am i gonna tell Qu Dan. It's bad enough his new career as a musicion is on a slow start, but to now tell him about Uncle? He's gonna freak! Uncle Joe was the reason why he wanted to make renewable engry and replace Oil! He blames Oil for what it done to uncle!"
  • Yan Fan: Well, this is terrible. My brother was always getting himself soaked in oil, but I never thought I'd see the day when he would get his immune system weakened by all this oil. Just make sure he doesn't touch anymore oil. I don't think I would want another heart attack. And as for Qu Dan, I suggest he should know at a later time.
  • Crane: Thanks for the advice, mom. I appreciate it.
  • Yan Fan: Your welcome, sweetheart. I know you can pull it off after you saved me from those invisible wolves. Anyway, I gotta go. I love you, bye! (Hangs up)
  • Crane: I wonder how she gained access to a phone. Then again, Anicent Greese i heard has now gained bathroom plumbing thanks to more mordern worlds, so there's that possibility. Now, where was i? Oh yeah. Man crying.
  • Crane flopped to the floor and cried quietly to himself.
  • Icky: (Overhearing Crane) Wow, he's really taking this incident real hard.
  • Shifu: Well, at least this doesn't involve turning the Temple into an inn.
  • Po: Yeah, that was a real killer.
  • Viper: Well, you heard him, guys. We have to continue keeping Oily Joe safe. We only have 44 hours left.
  • They were unkowingly watched by a pigion.
  • The Pigien flew away.

Chapter 4: Mr. Oilspill

The Oil rig office.

  • A Gecko and a Bull Frog stood in front of Mr. Oilspill, who was staring disintrestly at them.
  • Gecko: "Mr. Oilspill, we have an idea on how we can get people to start liking oil again!"
  • Bull Frog: "Yeah, we made a commercel, Promoting a newer, sciencetificly improved, motor oil, actselly evermentally friendly!"
  • Gecko: "Obsevred!"
  • The Gecko pressed a button!

The commercel!

  • A charming horse stood before the camera.
  • Horse: "How many of you people heard the accsidents involving Oil? the spills, the creatures victimised, and the fact it's not renewable? Well, what if i told you, we cemicaly improved Fozzal fuel? Cause hey, if small mammels evolved after dinosaurs went extinct, why not oil? Who said Oil can't be renewed? Well, a man named Mr. Oilspill, has come to challnage that throey. Our top sciencetists, have combined oil, with the stuff that is found in Dragon Realm gems. There's something in the gems that can make anything renewable. Why, even Oil. Oil became a renewable reshorse thanks to this discovery. And here's what we also found out."
  • the Horse walks torwords some cute baby seals next to a vat of the "Renewed" oil. the Horse kicks it, and the oil covers them!
  • but instead of making them sick, the oil instead makes the baby seals even stronger!
  • Horse: "It doesn't kill the animals. and You know what they say, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. it's eco friendly, and it makes even a normally non-eco friendly car into the everments most bestest friend in the world. Cause all cars should be fueled only by "Dragon Oil". It is what the future needs. The evolution of Oil has begun baby. and we're looking at a cleaner, united universe. Oh yeah."

Commercel ends.

  • Bull Frog: "Well sir, what do you think?"
  • Mr. Oilspill sighed.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "We been over this. as much i DO believe, mind you, i do believe you guys on this, that the power gems process what we need to redeem the oil industry's name, and my name as well, and it does sound great that it's eviomentally friendly, but, ffffff, those gems are just, a teeny tiny off-limits. The dragons are powered by those things as long as they remained undisturbed. Tri-corn made it painfully clear to not to touch those things."
  • Gecko: "But sir, if you could just get her permission to do this, then-"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "And that's another thing, if the other oil companies hear of this, THEY'LL want a piece of the action too, and then mining in the power gem mines will begin, and bam, the dragons are powerless! Spyro and Cynder are dragon realm dragons, not to mention among the strongest of the lougers, and worse, we would ending benifiting no one, but the forces of evil, and then, THE CONTROVERSITY OF OIL WORSENS?!"
  • Bull Frog: "But what if, we mass produce the oil with the spiecal power of the power gems ALREADY inside?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Meaning?"
  • Bull Frog: Meaning we get only one gem, and somehow begin duplicating it AND it's power? It's fulproof. We'll have an endless supply of those gems' power, and no one, not even Tricorn, will be pissed at us.
  • Mr. Oilspill: THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP! That's stealing, Dr. Bullwinkle! And we all know what stealing leads to. I could lose my company, my life, and my fortune! Then I'll lose my chance of proving that I am better than that gangster crane tycoon who wanted to make Equestria a more civilized place! Sure, his plan to make a renewable power source there had failed with his silly 'juronium', which was made by melting precious stones, but I wanna prove that he is nothing but a whimp. I am Mr. Kronton Ramone Oilspill! The best business man of the century!
  • Gecko: So what are you saying?
  • Mr. Oilspill: I'm saying that just taking and duplicating renewable power like that is just wrong. I am a man of morals.
  • Gecko: "That's strange coming from somebody to covers up a few, "accsidents" every now and again."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Hey, that's a totally differnet ballgame guys! (Sighs), look, you guys mean well, i know that by heart, it's just that, the controversy for oil, it not only exsit, but it's like, the world's nastiest tape worm for the oil industry, with an added case of diabities! and do you what happens, if you feed diabeitus, while having a tape worm infection?"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: Yeah, I know it's not pretty.
  • Mr. Oilspill: My point being that I cannot duplicate this power without permission from Tricorn. And we all know what her answer will be.
  • Gecko: "She would most likely say, no?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "What, do you think?"
  • Gecko: Then what do YOU suggest, Mr. Oily Smartass?
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I would've gone, without, the name calling."
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Mr. Oilspill, be reasonable. No good company is not without being willing to take a few risks. Think about about what the world would be like if we do this, and everything turned out alright!"
  • Mr. Oilspill thinks about it.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "It makes me wonder...."
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Think about it sir, this goes right, the controversity dies."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "But baby seals are one thing. But what about sentient beings? What it will do to them and what are the effects? Unless we get a legit test subject, i can't even agree to this."
  • A Rhino and Ox bodyguard enter the room, making the Gecko and Bullwinkle tremble!
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Boys, i told you guys not while i am in a meeting?!"
  • Rhino: "But boss, the Pigien came back. It's urgent."
  • Mr. Oilspill: What is it, then? Can't you see I'm in the middle of searching for a resourceful breakthrough?
  • Ox: He says that Oily Joe has been put in the hands of the Shell Lodge Squad.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Really? And, why should i care?
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Well, there's been claims that, oil made Oily Joe mentally retarded."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "WHAT?!"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Why yes, and if Tri-corn, who appearently is the only one who doesn't know about this, does know about it.... Well, you know your Diabeites Tape worm talk."
  • Gecko: Well, sounds like you found yourself a test subject, sir.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Indeed I have, Dr. Gayne. Indeed I have. Oh but wait, the lougers aren't gonna openly give him to me! And what's worse, i heard that Master Crane is related to one of my biggest Enemies, Kevin! The Lougers would hate me cause Kevin hates me!
  • Dr. Gayne: "Well, maybe, if you were make them understand, and that, maybe, you would offer a cure? I mean, if the renewed oil could, and it will, cure Oily Joe of being, well, obcessed with Oil, then, it'll prove that it will be benifital in a long run, and Tri-corn will have to approve cause she will be convinced on how it treated Mr. Joe!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I don't know guys, it might be risky."
  • Dr. Gayne: "No businessman is ever successful if he didn't took a risk!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Yes.... That was always Grandpa's motto. Rest that old soul of his....."
  • silence.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Ok boys, if anyone's gonna slay the beast that is the oil industry's controversy, it's gonna have to be us! (Presses a button) Marline, arrange a meeting with the lougers."
  • Marlene (Fox): Yes, Mr. Oilspill. Right away.

Chapter 5: Oily Joe Goes Insane

Louger temple.

  • Icky: "Wow, that oily crane is hard work."
  • Lord Shen: "Even the other members of the 5 are tired out trying to prevent him from going back to the garage. I'm glad we were able to make speical procautions for his stay."
  • Iago: "And thank goodness that the garage is the only shorse of oil here. And i don't think he remembers anything about the place he got the oil from that got him here in the first place."
  • A wolf appeared.
  • Wolf: "Report: A limosene with a Rhino and an Ox in black suits appeared at the temple grounds."
  • Lord Shen: "Get the Square one, we'll get to the bottom of this."

outside.

  • The lougers are standing where the limosene stands. The Rhino and Ox stood at the cardoor side. The Rhino opened it, and Mr. Oilspill came out.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Hello Shell Louge Squad, The Name's Mr. Oilspill, Oil Tycoon Extrodenaire"
  • Tigress: "We know who you are."
  • Icky: "Yeah, your our new neighber thanks to Tri-corn not having her head screwed on tight."
  • Crane is angry at his presence.
  • Crane: "What do you want, beach poisioner? Isn't there like, a colany of penguins for you to desimate?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Guys, guys! Just because i'm an Oil Tycoon, doesn't mean i'm an evil or greedy man. In fact, i am extremely concern for the everment! I'm Eco incarnet."
  • Crane: "THEN EXPLAIN WHY YOUR NAMED AFTER A MAN-MADE EVIOMENTAL DISHASTER?!"
  • Shifu: "Crane, calm yourself. He is not considered an enemy like what we're acostom to face, though we not enjoy what he's involved in."
  • Icky: "Besides, remember that he's Tri-corn protacted."
  • Crane: "Sorry Master Shifu."
  • Po: "But out of healthy coriousty, why are you calling yourself "Mr. Oilspill"? That makes you sound like an eviomental villain, it, doesn't really sound like the name of someone who cares about the world we live in."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Yeah, it's because my real name is too stupidly laughable that i can't speak of it in public."
  • Skipper: "I don't buy it. Tell us your REAL name?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: You promise not to laugh?
  • Crane: I don't find most things funny.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Well, my real last name is Poozinhower.
  • Private: (Laughs)
  • Skipper: Don't mind him, Mr. Oilspill. Now what is it you want?
  • Mr. Oilspill: "It has come to my attention from, speical shorses that, there is a retarded old oil obcessed crane? You see, i was the one who had him sent to the hospital after he was stealing oil and got himself sick."
  • Icky: "Aw fudge! You mean he got it from you?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Correction, he stoled it from me. He's been doing it for awhile now ever since we opened up shop here in this musquio playground. He must've followed us after he had to close down the rigs after complaints from villagers caused the leaders there to boot me out. Believe me when i say, it REALLY pains me the oil made him like this, and would like to offer to help."
  • Kowalski: You want to help us cure Oily Joe?
  • Mr. Oilspill: Of course. I have this new renewable resource that has been capable of healing baby seals what were exposed to an oil spill.
  • Private: Aww!
  • Kowalski: And you're certain this 'resource' will heal Oily Joe?
  • Mr. Oilspill: I don't know for sure, but if it does, it will be an amazing breakthrough.
  • Private: Wow, he sure is helpful--(Skipper slaps him)
  • Skipper: I wasn't born yesterday! If I was, I'd be in diapers. Which apparently I'm not. But still, I don't trust you!
  • Spyro: I agree. We underestimated a few people before who betrayed us such as Captain Rourke. Not to mention I sense something about you. Is there something you aren't telling us, Mr. Oilspill?
  • Mr. Oilspill: "What're you talking about? No seriously, what IS he talking about?"
  • Spyro: "I understand your confusion, alot of people tend to be unaware of this, but i am among those that are able to sense moral unbalence in others."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "...... Your, one of the weird ones, are you?"
  • Kolwalski: "Typical modern human respondse, first meeting with someone with supernatrol capabilies, assumes the supernatorl individual is-"
  • Kolwalski brings a Coo-coo clock.
  • Clock: "Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I uh, (chuckles), had been told you guys tend to be random at times."
  • Cynder: "I'm sorry sir, but some of us expect you have an uneasy presence in you. I can sense things wrong with you. It feels like the presence of someone so consumed with fear of something greater then you are, you became desperate."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Guys, seriously! I am an honest guy! I mean, come on! Your kinda freaking me out here!"
  • Spyro: "I can sense that, but there's also something else about you."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Ok, your making me uncomfertable here!? Do you want my help with this guy or not?!"
  • Skipper: "Depends: What does a door slammed at your face mean to you?"
  • SLAM!
  • Mr. Oilspill suddenlhy found himself with the door closed at him.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Aw nuts. I know this wasn't gonna work, but this wasn't a seneirio i half-predicted. Come on boys, we're heading back to the rigs."

Inside

  • Skipper: That oil trycoon Poozinhower thinks he can just come here and ask for Oily Joe? If you ask me, he's as stupid as Oily Joe.
  • Oily Joe: I like corn, and I like oil. But I do NOT like corn oil, WEIRD!
  • Skipper: Mr. Oilspill cannot be trusted, Lodgers. Something's not right about this guy.
  • Brandy: I agree. We cannot expose Oily Joe to anymore oil. He'll target any oil he sees. ANY OIL!
  • Oily Joe: (Burps out an oil bubble) Ohh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! My insides are oily! (Burps a dozen more oil bubbles)
  • Icky: "Ok, at first he was funny, but his humor just turned disgusting real quick."
  • Crane: "I'm gonna have to warn Kevin. This is bad if his business rival has an interest in Joe."
  • Lord Shen: "From what i understood, your brother left the business world. And, according to Tman, he went to persue a career as a musician now."
  • Crane: "Well, this is a HUGE family matter to me! I am not sure i know what that midget wants with my uncle, and i don't think i desire to know! Kevin needs to know! If anyone can be of any true help to us, it's someone who actselly tried to make renewable energy! Maybe, he could also warn us about what's really going on in Oilspill's mind!"
  • Oily Joe: Mr. Oilspill? That sounds like...he has...OIIIIILLLLL!!!
  • Skipper: (Grabs Joe by the leg) Don't you DARE, you greasy son of a retard!
  • Oily Joe: But I like oil...(Scoffs, and laughs hard) BUTTS! They make poopie! Yes, they do! (Laughs hard) They even make liquid poo when in diarrhea. (Laughs)
  • Icky: (Bursts out laughing)
  • Viper: That is just disgusting!
  • Oily Joe: Butts belong on toilets! (Laughs) That's funny! Everyone has a butt! (Laughs) Wait a moment, OOOOIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!! (Tries to catch Mr. Oilspill, but the entire Lodge grabs a hold of him)
  • Lord Shen: "Hold him long enough until Mr. Oilspill departs from the area."
  • Oilspill's limoscene leaves the area.
  • Oily Joe: "Aw....."
  • Lord Shen: "Long leg one, make the call to your brother, NOW!"
  • Crane: "Ok, just keep uncle calm until i can get Kevin here."
  • Oily Joe: I feel sick. (Barfs out oil bubbles) Oh, (Laughs) that's fun!

Crane's Room

  • Crane: (On phone) I already informed mother about Uncle Qiao's condition. My mother told me not to tell you for a while, but now, I have no choice.
  • Kevin: I can't believe this! I just can't! Uncle Qiao has gone mad! What exactly happened to him?
  • Crane: The doctor said that his immune system has been weakened, and we needed to keep him away from anymore oil for 48 hours or he would die within seconds. It's already been 7 hours, and we're still having trouble keeping him safe. It gets worse, he got the oil from... Oilspill. Worser still, He claims he wants to "Help Oily Joe"! We're not sure if that's true or a trick!
  • Kevin: "Well, i can say for sure. Ironicly for an oil tycoon, he does care for the evioment, and it not money obcessed. And i RARELY speak something nice about oil tycoons! But, i also can't help to feel he's always hiding something, like, a secret he's afraid to let out. He was always fearful of the controversity on Oil. He compaired it like having a tape worm with a side of diabeitus."
  • Crane: "We need your help Kevin. You know alot about engry."
  • Kevin: "Well, even though i am a musicion these days, i know a thing or too. Now, i heard this rumor about a speical kind of gem that can make even oil renewable, but they're incredably rare and dragon culture highly reguards them to the point it's use is highly forbidden. They're commenly refered to as "Power Gems". I tried to ask permission from Tri-corn once, but she just said no to me, so i dropped any future attempts. It's said that any fuel blessed by a power gem can cure even the most extreme addiction, it's every renewable, and it's really eco friendly."
  • Crane: "Aw fudge! The one only cure to help my uncle, and it's outlawed by Tri-corn! I mean, i know why, power gems power dragons as long as they're not disturbed, but, this is a huge problem!"
  • Kevin: "Well, i guess all we can do is just keep uncle from-"
  • BLAM! CLUTTER!
  • Lord Shen: "BLOODY HELL, HE BURSTED THROUGH THE WALLS LIKE A BATTERING RAM?!"
  • Crane: "There isn't much time! Hurry!"

Chapter 6: Oily Joe Escapes

Outside the Temple

  • Oily Joe was laughing retardingly as he was running really fast!
  • Oily Joe: MUST HAVE OIL!!! I MUST HAVE IT!!! (Runs straight for Mr. Oilspill's limo) HERE I COME, MR. POOZINHOWER! (Scoffs) Poo! Poo is...poo-shaped! (Laughs) That's funny! BUT I NEED OIL!!!!
  • Guy in Limosine: Uh, sir? Who's that running straight at us? (Mr. Oilspill sees Oily Joe)
  • Mr. Oilspill: Whoa boy! It's Oily Joe. He must want me to help him.
  • Oily Joe: OOOOIIIIIILLLLLL!!!
  • Mr. Oilspill:...Or maybe HE WANTS MY OIL!!! FLOOR IT! (The limo takes off at full speed)
  • Oily Joe: Crap nuggets! (Scoffs) Crap is poo. Just like shit. (Gasps) Ooh, I just said a bad word!--(Lord Shen glides right towards him) Ooh, pretty birdy--(Lord Shen pounces on him)
  • Lord Shen: Stop right there, oil-beak! You're not touching anymore oil for the next 41 hours!
  • Oily Joe: No! NO! I LOVE MY OIL! I MUST HAVE IT!!! (Licks Lord Shen with his oily saliva, causing him to let him go in disgust)
  • Lord Shen: OH, GROSS!!! YOUR SALIVA IS OILY, TOO?!? NASTY!!!
  • Oily Joe: OOOIIIIIILLLLL!!! (Runs like a retard towards Mr. Oilspill's limo)
  • Kowalski: GET HIM!
  • Th lougers chase after Oily Joe!
  • Oily Joe: I MUST HAVE OIL! (Suddenly, falls off of cliff and cannot fly) WHOA! WHOA! I STILL CANNOT FLY!!! AARRGH! (Falls)
  • Crane: UNCLE QIAO!!! (Flies down to Oily Joe, and grabs him by the leg) Got'cha! (Suddenly, Oily Joe slips out of his grasp due to his oily body) Oh, dear!
  • Oily Joe: AAARRRGGGHHH! Huh? (Realizes he's falling straight towards an oil tower) OIL!!! FINALLY!!! (The oil tower spews oil towards Oily Joe, but Crane pushes him out of the way just in time) AWW!!!
  • Crane: That was a close o--(Gets sprayed on with oil) URRPPH!
  • Oily Joe: AARRRGGHH! (Lord Shen glides up towards Oily Joe, and catches him, landing safely)
  • Lord Shen: No more nonsense, Joe! You're not touching anymore oil!
  • Icky pants as he finally made it.
  • Icky: "I need to exsirsize more. (groans) oh god."
  • Oily Joe sees a series of Oil Towers heading torwords a huge building and a giant rig.
  • Lord Shen: "Now, let's finally-"
  • Oily Joe gave an oil ridden burped that grossed out Shen!
  • Lord Shen: "GAH! DISGUSTING?!"
  • Oily Joe ran away!
  • Kolwalski: "Oh no! We're in Oilspill's area!"
  • Skipper: "We can't let Joe get hurt! COME ON!"

Chapter 7: The Oil Rig

Near the Oil Rig area.

  • Oilspill: "Oh man. I thought we would never lose that crazy-"
  • Oily Joe slams into Oilspill!
  • Oily Joe: "OIL?!"
  • Oilspill: "GEES, EASY THERE BUDY?! IF THE LOUGERS SEE YOU WITH ME, THEY'RE GONNA GET MAD?!"
  • Gayne and Dr. Bullwinkle appeared!
  • Dr. Gayne: "But, if you could cure Oily Joe, it would earn their apporval, AND, They would help us win over Tri-corn!"
  • Oilspill: "Ahh........ Joey, why don't you uh, come into my office?"
  • Oily Joe: "Me get oil?"
  • Oilspill: "A speical kind of oil."
  • The rhino and ox picked up Oily Joe off of Oilspill and the group entered the building.
  • Lord Shen: (They see what happened) Oh, no!
  • Skipper: AAHH! He has NO IDEA what he is doing!!! We gotta stop him!
  • Spyro: Besides, what does Oilspill want with him anyway? (Crane lands right near them covered in oil)
  • Crane: Phlech! Phlech! Yuck! Gross! Guys, I got something to tell you about Mr. Oilspill!
  • Icky: "Can it wait? He has your uncle!"
  • Crane: "Oh dear! But still, i need to say something!"
  • SpongeBob: Well what is it, then?
  • Icky: "Yeah spill it, there's no telling wat Oil-pants plans to do!"
  • Crane: I talked to Kevin. He says that Mr. Oilspill was his corporate rival who is also searching for a renewable energy source. And after hearing Kevin's words about the Power Gems that dragons rely on, I'm guessing that that's what Oilspill wants with Uncle Qiao.
  • Spyro: So you're saying that Mr. Oilspill could be using Oily Joe as a test monkey for this 'renewable' power source fueled by our Power Gems?
  • Crane: I don't know for sure, but it is a possibility. Kevin said that the power within power gems process uningmaginable powers, and, in throey, it could actselly heal Uncle of his problems.
  • Shifu: "But what about the possability of side-effects Oilspill or even his smartest sciencetist are currently unaware of?"
  • Icky: "Like what?"
  • Dr. Cockarouch: "Well, there's several possabilites, it would make the addition worse, or, make Oily Joe go out in a roid-rage state of untreatable anger, or, even the possability of mutanting into a dragon-like creature."
  • Sandy: "(Gasps), Oilspill said something about some baby seals that were effected by this stuff!"
  • Icky: "Relax, he said they were find."
  • Spyro: "I did sense honesty there from him."
  • Sandy: "But i don't think he knows what happened to those baby seals AFTERWORDS?!"
  • Spyro: Sandy, I think you're over-reacting.
  • Sparx: Yeah, for God's sake, take some chill pills, and don't let your furry unmentionables stick out.
  • Spyro: Sparx!
  • Cynder: Still, she may be right. What if this renewable power source is too inexplicably powerful? I mean, the power gems are extremely powerful. They contain tons and tons of energy. Oilspill might not realise he's playing a dangerious game.
  • Lord Shen: "Then we certainly can't let him pull this off! We gotta stop him!"
  • Shifu: C'mon! We have no time to lose! (The Lodgers head for the Oil Rig)

Oil Rig

  • Oily Joe: So where is this special oil? What does it do?
  • Mr. Oilspill: It's a surprise.
  • Oily Joe: You mean like a surprise party?
  • Mr. Oilspill: No, not exactl--
  • Oily Joe: YAAAY! A SURPRISE PARTY! Is it my birthday? I lost track last year.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Just hold on a second, and I'll give you the special oil. The nice doctors just need to set it up first.
  • Dr. Gayne and Dr. Bullwinkle are seen extracting the one Power gem they have, and began to process it into the oil.
  • Oily Joe: Uh, what is with the shiny object? Looks sharp.
  • Mr. Oilspill: You'll see.
  • Oily Joe: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!
  • SpongeBob: (Bursts into the room with the Shell Lodge) HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, OILSPILL!
  • Mr. Oilspill: (Sighs) What're you guys doing here? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
  • Spyro: Yeah. You're in the middle of creating a resource far beyond your comprehension.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Say what?
  • Crane: I had a little talk with my brother, Kevin. He told me enough.
  • Mr. Oilspill: You talked to that asshole?
  • Donkey: HEY! I resent that!
  • Cynder: Mr. Oilspill, don't you realize that you're tampering with power that you cannot even handle? Has that resource even had any side-effects on those baby seals you cured?
  • Mr. Oilspill: Well, yes, actually, it made them muscular. So what?
  • A roar was heard!
  • Icky: "Uh, did you also notice that they started to look, skaley?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Well...... Uh, no. Why?"
  • Suddenly, loud banging is heard behind a black curtain!
  • Dr. Bullwinkle and Dr. Gayne began to look at eachother.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Uh..... Can, anyone check that?"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle timedly pulled a rope, and reveiled that the baby seals are now the size of adult bull elephant seals, and are now dragon-like in appearence! the three of them began to roar wildly!
  • Dr. Gayne: "..... Oh boy......"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "I, don't think that was suppose to happen."
  • Mr. Oilspill was frozen in shock!
  • Dr. Gayne: "Uh, maybe, we could, edit the side-effects out and really perfect the reshorse."
  • Mr. Oilspill snapped out it.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Yeah, you guys do that. And as for YOU misfits, we know what we're doing! We are capable of learning from setbacks, we'll just properly perfect the renewed oil and-"
  • Mr. Oilspill noticed the renewed oil gone!
  • Mr. Oilspill: "THE RENEWED OIL?!"
  • Oily Joe: (Running off with the renewed oil canister) "WEEEEEEE! PRETTY SHINY OIL?!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Oh sweet mother mercy, no!"
  • Crane: We must stop him before he dumps it on himself!
  • Kowalski: I'm afraid it's too late for that, Crane! (Oily Joe has already dumped it on him)
  • Oily Joe: FINALLY! (Suddenly, he tremors, and screeches in pain) UURGH!!! (Swells up) UURGH!!! (Voice turns deeper) I like refreshing OOOIIIIILLLLLL!!! (The Lodgers watch in horror as Oily Joe turns into a large oily dragon-crane hybrid) What is happening to me? Are all of you shrinking? Is the shrink ray invisible because I can't see it!
  • Kowalski: Uh, Skipper? I think it's only a matter of time before Oily Joe goes on a rampage. Remember when Rico was in Rodger's body, and went berserk?
  • Skipper: Yeah?
  • Kowalski: Well, I think the same scenario may be in this case, only worse. The reptilian part of Oily Joe's brain is probably growing to aggressive levels.
  • Oily Joe: (Roars) MUST HAVE OIL! (Runs off)
  • Mr. Oilspill: Uh, what just happened?
  • Kowalski: Well, Mr. Oilspill, it appears your little test didn't work so well on Oily Joe. Your resource didn't exactly cure Joe because of all that oil brewing in his body. It must've interfeared with the power from that power gem, and caused a chain reaction that spiked Oily Joe's aggression levels as well as quickened the unstable mutative side-effect. It would seem Oily Joe is now determined to find more oil.
  • Private: We'll never stop him from touching oil now!
  • Crane: (Starts crying) UNCLE QIAO! HE'S GONE! (Sobs)
  • Skipper: Not on my watch! LODGERS, restrain Mr. Oilspill! (They do that) Now let's find that monster before he touches another drop of oil! (The Lodgers move out with Mr. Oilspill)
  • Mr. Oilspill: AARRGGH!!!
  • Dr. Gayne:...Does this mean we don't get our raises?
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: I guess not. 
  • They looked to see that the giant Seal-dragons were gone, and had escaped from another hole!
  • Dr. Gayne: "Should we go with the misfits?"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Oh yeah!"
  • Gayne and Bullwinkle ran away and caught up with the lougers!
  • Cynder: "What do you guys want?"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "THE SEALS ESCAPE?!"
  • Dr. Gayne: "They could be ANYWHERE in the area!"
  • Shifu: Well, we don't have much time to go after them. We have to stop Oily Joe before he touches oil. And we need our entire team to do it. We'll search for them once we get Oily Joe back to normal.
  • Skipper: I'm afraid he's right, guys. He's gonna die if we don't help him. (Suddenly, Oily Joe grabs two oil canisters, and dumps them on him, but instead of killing him, it makes him stronger)
  • Oily Joe: MORE OIL!!! (The seal-dragon hybrids are aiding him) (Suddenly, Oily Joe barfs oil onto a worker frog, turning him into a frog-dragon hybrid. Oily Joes does the same thing to other staff, turning them into dragon hybrid monsters) RAAAAWWWWRRRRRR!!!
  • Skipper:...On second thought, we'll stop them as well.
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: Thank you.
  • Kowalski: Egad! The power from the gem is still going berserk in Joe's system. It may possibly have built up so much, that it gave him a 95% chance of him surviving exposure to more oil. Which means that it may've strengthened his immune system again.
  • Max the Cat: Well, at least we're winning a bit.
  • Kowalski: Though it's making him more aggressive by the second. There's still a possibility that he might die if he douses himself with too much oil. And it also seems that the power from the power gem has made his oil infectious, so anything it touches will become a dragon hybrid like those seals.
  • Max the Cat: Ooh.
  • Skipper: "Shorty, you better tell me there's a way to put this place into lock down!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "WHAT?! AND TRAP US HERE WITH THOSE THINGS?! ARE YOU MAD?!"
  • Skipper slaps Oilspill!
  • Skipper: "YEAH I'M CRAZY?! WHAT MADE YOU THINK I WAS SANE?!"
  • Po: "Oh, a qoute from the new dreamworks movie Turbo?"
  • Skipper: Actually, I made it up myself.
  • Icky: "Actselly, i think in one of the trailers, a snail named Whiplash said that."
  • Skipper: Whatever. Anyway, I'm actually saying we don't want Joe to get out and spread the infection, so we have to ensure they're trapped here.
  • Private: But Skipper, they're strong! They can break out easily.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Oh, don't worry, it's made of titanium, one of the strongest metals in the UUniverses. It will be difficult to break out with that stuff.
  • Kowalski: Then we also need a way to get Joe back to normal. But at the same time, remove all that oil so he won't end up dying from becoming normal.
  • Skipper: "Okay, shorty, please tell me you and the Doctors over had plans for an antidote!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "The renewed Oil WAS supposed to be Oily Joe's antedote!"
  • Skipper: "YOU MEAN YOU NEVER CONSIDERED THE INFECTIOUS MUTANT SCENARIO?!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I was ensured it was gonna be safe!"
  • Skipper: "Cripes! now we have to improvise. Let's focus on locking down the refinery first. Where's the control room?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Uh, down the hallway, 3 or 5 meters away from my office! But you got to reconsider locking us here with those things, couldn't we just get out of here first AND then remotely lockdown the refinery?!"
  • Skipper: "Sorry, but no pass out of the swim in the shark tank today, we have to face this head on! Just leaving Joe locked here will cause him to suck this place dry of Oil until he becomes too powerful, or eventally die, from power overdose!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I just saying we shouldn't be stupid about this! This is a job for the millaterry!"
  • Skipper: "SHUT HIM UP?!" (Rico slaps him)
  • Mr. Oilspill: OW!
  • Skipper: Alright, let's get to that control room, Lodgers. I want this place locked down tighter than Fort Knox. GO! (Everyone does that)
  • Mr. Oilspill: WAIT! (Everyone stops) What about me?
  • Skipper: You're staying here! We don't want you getting any dumb ideas.
  • Mr. Oilspill: The military is sure to work, I know it!
  • Private: But won't you need Senator Tricorn's permission for that?
  • Mr. Oilspill:...Aw, fuck!
  • Skipper: We also have some other things to take care of. (The Penguins tie up Dr. Bullwinkle and Dr. Gayne)
  • Dr. Gayne: What is this for?
  • Skipper: So you won't free Mr. Poo-poo. Alright, NOW let's roll. (The Lodgers then leave)
  • Mr. Oilspill: IT'S MR. OILSPILL, YOU DOUCHE! (Sighs) And they're gone.

Control Room

  • A lazy duck was eating donuts over the control.
  • Duck: "I wish they fixed the survalence cameras so i could have something to watch. Then again, this isn't the survalence room."
  • Skipper: (The Lodgers burst in) WE NEED THIS PLACE UNDER FULL LOCKDOWN PRONTO!!!
  • Duck: Sorry, I only take orders from Mr. Oilspill.
  • Skipper: (Grabs the duck by the shirt) We have a monster running amuck in this oil rig, you lazy bum! We need it contained until we can find a way to stop it!
  • Duck: Yeah, right! (Oily Joe's roar is heard)...Wha-wha-wha-what was that?
  • Shenzi: That was what we were talking about. Now, are you gonna lock this place down, or what?
  • Duck: Okay, okay! (Presses button)
  • Voice: LOCKDOWN! LOCKDOWN! (The entire oil rig gets locked down)
  • Cynder: "But how can we be sure none of them were already out?"
  • Duck: "There's a survelence room, but the camera's are, abit out of order."
  • Skipper: (Dubbed as Stewie) CRAAAP!
  • Private: What'll we do now, Skipper? There could by any infected people out there waiting to spread that infected oil throughout the rest of the Dragon Realms.
  • Kolwalski: "Let's not despar, maybe i can get the cameras working again! What's the problem?"
  • Duck: "Tom spilled coffice on it."
  • Kolwalski: "Oh, the dreaded spilled coffice. The nightmare of any electic applience. I could repair this, but since we're trapped in a building crawling with mutants, and going out to buy replacement parts is out of the question, we'll have ti improvise with what we can find!"
  • Private: But won't the infected monsters be far away from the oil rig before we fix it?
  • Skipper: I doubt it. They serve Oily Joe, right? So, they won't spread infection without their leader. And we all know that Oily Joe just wants the oil.
  • Private: Hmm...good point, Skipper.
  • Skipper: Alright, Lodgers! Operation: Surveillance Repair is at go! GO! (The Lodgers head out)
  • Cynder: "We ask you stay here sir, for your own safety."
  • Duck: "WAY AHEAD OF YOU!" (Hides under the table)
  • Sparx: (Scoffs) The weakest are the first that get killed.
  • Spyro: Sparx, please! (Everyone heads out)

Office

  • Alex: (The Lodgers have already briefly defeated multiple dragon monsters, and are exhausted) Whew! That was a killer!
  • Kowalski: But at least we got all we need to fix the cameras.
  • Icky: "But those suckers won't stay down forever! We got to move!" (The Lodgers run down the hall as the monsters get back on their feet)
  • Monster: RAAAWWWWRRRRKKKK!!!!

Surveillance Room

  • Kowalski: (Repairs the cameras) And...done! Well, that should do it! (The cameras are repaired) Eureka!
  • Skipper:...Hmm...it seems there aren't any trapped monsters.
  • Cynder: "That's the lunchroom cam."
  • Skipper: ".... I knew that."
  • Skipper looks at another camera, and all the monsters are trapped in the oil areas.
  • Skipper: "Well, pretty much everyone here is accounted for."
  • Crane: "But where's uncle joe?"
  • Skipper looks at the camera where Oilspill and the Doctors are tied, as Oily Joe is seen entering the room.
  • Skipper: "SWEET MOTHER OF COD?!

Room.

  • Oily Joe approuches Oilspill.
  • Oily Joe: "Me want more oil! Short man give more oil!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Uh, i'm alittle tied up at the moment. Sorry."
  • Oily Joe: "ME WANT MORE SHINY OIL YOU GAVE ME?!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "That was the only one!"
  • Oily Joe: "THEN ME WILL MAKE YOU AND DOC-DOCS MAKE MORE SHINEY OIL!"
  • Dr. Gayne: "But the misfits put this place on lockdown! You and the infected workers can't get out!"
  • A dragon seal roared at them!
  • the doctors scream!
  • Mr. Oilspill: "BEISDES, THE LOUGERS TOOK THE POWER GEM WE USED TO MAKE THE SHINY OIL!?"
  • Oily Joe: "THEN ME WANT YOU TO HELP JOE GET SHINY ROCK TO MAKE MORE SHINY OIL?! ME WANT MORE SHINY OIL?!"
  • Oily Joe poses to prepare to puke on Mr. Oulspill and the doctors!
  • Merlin: (Teleports all the Lodgers to the room) Glad we didn't bother running all the way here.
  • Lord Shen: I agree.
  • Crane: UNCLE QIAO!!! (Oily Joe looks at him) You need to get a hold of yourself! Look at you, you've already become an infectious harbinger of death, and you still aren't better!
  • Oily Joe: (Roars at Crane, puking oil at him, and Crane dodges) I HAVEN'T HAD OIL FOR 12 HOURS! WHEN I WANT OIL, I WANT IT NOW!!! (Laughs) My voice sounds funny! Sounds like a monster! Anyway, (Roars)
  • Skipper: (The Penguins have taken Mr. Oilspill, Dr. Bullwinkle and Dr. Gayne while Oily Joe was distracted) Kowalski? Give me options!
  • Kowalski: Well, attacking him is not an option because of the infectious oil covering his body. One touch can turn us into dragon monsters. We need to think of a plan that doesn't involve touching Oily Joe, that can cure Oily Joe of ALL of his conditions, and cure his monster army all at the same time.
  • Skipper: You can't be serious, Kowalski! That sounds almost impossible!
  • Kolwalski: "Nothing is impossable! But there is a difficulty level! We just need to malmitulate some form of system that'll hit all places at once."
  • Dr. Gayne: "You mean the sparkler system?"
  • Skipper; Sparkler system?
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Well it would be dangerious to have a fire in an oil refinery, so yeah, you need a sparkler system."
  • Skipper: "Perfect! But we need the sparkler system's main water supply, and the cure!"
  • Crane: "I think my brother can do that, but we need to be able to get him here without releasing mutants."
  • Oily Joe: "You know me hear every word nefpew and friends say, right?"
  • Icky: "NOW YOUR BEING SMART?!"
  • Oily Joe: I barf oil at you! (Barfs oil, and the Lodgers dodge)
  • Crane: I'll call for Kevin, we all need to split up. One team will enter the surveillance room to watch for any other troubles, another team will enter the control room and help Kevin get into the oil rig. The rest of you need to hold off Oily Joe long enough for us to get the job done.
  • Icky: "I wonder who's among the unlucky suckers to play tag with Giant Joe."
  • Iago: Yeah. I hope it's not us.
  • SpongeBob: Well, we don't have time to--(They dodge another oil puke)--pick out our team members, so we'll just have to wing it. (They dodge yet another barf) Now let's go! (Two Lodger teams left)
  • Oily Joe: "SEAL FRIENDS, GO AFTER ALL OF THEM?! And find me some oil while you're at it!" (The Dragon Seals followed the two separate teams)
  • Oilspill: "Hello? Wasn't anyone gonna get us out of here?!" (The Penguins and Team Alex grabbed them, and took them with them while dodging a bite from a mutant seal)

Control Room

  • The duck is still cowering under the table with his donuts!
  • Duck: "Hush little baby, don't say a word, momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird."
  • the sound of footsteps are heard.
  • the duck wimpers and closed his eyes
  • Alex: (Burst in with one of the Lodger teams)
  • Duck: MOMMY!...Oh, it's only you.
  • Marty: "Mommy"? That's messed up, man! Anyway, we need to borrow the controls. There's a friend we know who can fix this, and we need to make sure he comes in without letting the monsters out.
  • Duck: Well, I don't think I can do that until...you know...you bust up those monsters.
  • Gloria: And I'm gonna get the busting on YOU if you don't help us get this thing over with!
  • Melman: Gloria, honey, violence won't be necessary.
  • Icky: Yeah, that's a little unnecessary.
  • Skipper: Allow me to handle this. (Prepares to say something to the Duck, but then gets on his lap, and smacks him) HOW DO WE LET OUR FRIEND IN WITHOUT LETTING THE CREEPY MONSTERS OUT?!?
  • Iago: Uhhgh, what an idiot!
  • Alex: Can they be anymore psychotic?
  • Savio: Trust me, I don't wanna know until I get a 5th appearence in their show.
  • Duck: "Ok, i, hope you guys know what're your doing?"
  • A monsterious sounding bark is heard!
  • Duck: "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
  • Kolwalski quickly closed the door!
  • Kolwalski: "It's one of the mutanted seals! We have to board up the door!"
  • Rico: I got it! (Spits out multiple bolts that lock the door in place)
  • Skipper: Perfecto!
  • Monsterious barks are heard as the door begins to bang!
  • The Duck becomes to panicy to work as he hides under the table!
  • Skipper: "Not so perfecto! The duck can't handle the pressure! Wuss."
  • Alex: Then we'll have to drive the monster away.
  • Gilda: Allow me. (Breathes in, and bellows a huge roar, which is enough to drive away the monster seal) Nailed it.
  • Trixie: Now, will you stop cowarding on us, and help us out?
  • Duck: Alright, alright! Let's just get on with it.
  • Iago: Thank you.

Surveillance Room

  • Some security guards are hiding and cowarding.
  • Marlene the Fox and the Bodyguards are here as well.
  • Marlene: "What is going on? One minute, we're just came in through the lockeroom, next the lockdown has been anitiated, now, these creatures came?! Where's Mr. Oilspill?"
  • Ox bodyguard: "We need to get out of here somehow! We got to find that lazy duck and get him to get us out of here!"
  • Rhino Bodyguard: "I think this must be some kind of Villain Leage attack! Or, cause of the dragon-like creatures, The Dragon Scourge? Or, could it be Team Nefarious? Or maybe this is some kind of, anicent inidian swamp dragon curse!"
  • Marlene: "Indian swamp dragon curse?"
  • Rhino: "Yeah, they're mad at us for drilling in their land, so we've been cursed!"
  • Marlene: "(Scoffs), there are no indian swamp dragons!"
  • Rhino: "Then explains the monsters out theres?!"
  • Shifu: This is no curse. (The Shell Lodgers arrived) It's a mutation.
  • Po: We need to borrow this place so we can help a friend of ours fix this situation.
  • Ox: "But we have no where else to go! The lunchroom doesn't have doors strong enough to hold off, whatever those things were!"
  • Po: "You don't have to leave, you just need to move away from the TVs."
  • Securty guard 1: "Like as if there's anything good. It's just Monster-to-monster on every set except the outside camera."
  • B.O.B: You mean those monsters are guarding the exits and entrances?!?
  • Security Guard #1: Yes.
  • Creeper: Well, there goes our chance to cure Oily Joe.
  • Shifu: We still have a chance. We need to distract those monsters long enough for Kevin to come in quietly.
  • Po: And you really think that will work?
  • Shifu: I think it's worth a try.
  • Po: Well, if you say so.
  • Crane: (On phone) Kevin? Where are you?
  • (Kevin): I'm on my way to Oilspill's Oil Rig so I can give him a piece of my mind for doing this to Uncle Qiao! Where are you?
  • Crane: Well, it doesn't look good, Kevin. Mr. Oilspill's resource has mutated Uncle Qiao into a dragon hybrid, and he's infecting everyone in the rig. We need to know if you can help us find a cure.
  • (Kevin): Well, of course. I've been saving this for a rainy day. It's an antidote that Tricorn told me to create for such an occasion. Perhaps she knew the side-effects of such a resource. There's a jug of it in my trunk.
  • Crane: "Listen, before we could let you in, we have to get the creatures away from the enterence as possable. We can't risk this spreading to the rest of the Dragon Realms."
  • (Kevin): Yeah, that can't be a good thing. But still, I'll be right there with the jug. Just tell me what to do once I get there.
  • Crane: Okay. There's a sprinkler system here that we can use to spread the cure throughout the oil rig. We just need to add it, activate it, and the monsters are cured once and for all.
  • (Kevin): Sounds easy enough. I'll be there soon!
  • Crane: "Ok, now, we just need a plan to make those monsters at the enterence leave."
  • Monsterious barks are heard!
  • The Dragon Seal is fast approuching the survalence room!
  • Djon: It's one of those two monster seals!
  • Pain: We got it! (He and Panic shapeshift into lions, and their roar doesn't scare off the monster seal) Didn't work! (The monster seal bangs onto the door while Po holds it shut)
  • Po: We gotta drive this thing away! It'll scare the people we need to operate these cameras!
  • Pain: Man! Wait! I have a better idea! (Whispers into Panic's ear)
  • Panic: Pain...you mad genius, you! (Both shapeshift into griffins, and their roar scares off the monster seal successfully)
  • Creeper: (Chuckles) Yeah, you'd BETTER waddle away, bitch!
  • Djon: That was a close one.
  • Creeper: PICK UP YOUR PANTS, YOU IDIOT!!! (Djon does that)
  • Security guard 1: "Uh, any chance the whole, we were cowering in the corner when you found us never happened?"
  • Po: "Hey, what happens in the room, stays in it."

Chapter 8: The Last Hour

outside.

  • Kevin's car arrived.
  • Kevin: "Ok, now all i have to do, is wait. It shouldn't take too long right?"

inside.

  • The Dragon Hybreeds are hopelessy clawing the door to get out.
  • Patrick: HEY, UGLY FREAKS!!! (The monsters look behind them to see some of the other Lodgers)
  • Sandy: You want a piece of us? Come on and rip it off and try it!
  • Dragon Hybrid Frog: RAAWWWWWRRRKKK!!!! (The monsters chase them, and the entrance is unguarded)
  • Crane: (Looking at it on surveillance camera) They did it! (On phone) Kevin? Get to Entrance #5!
  • Kevin: On it! (Flies over to the spot)
  • Crane: (On walkie-talkie) Entrance #5 is clear! Prepare to let Kevin in!
  • Skipper: Roger that, over! Crane said Kevin's at Entrance #5. We need it to open!
  • Duck: The lever is right there. (They pull it)
  • Computer Voice: WARNING! ENTRANCE NUMBER-- (Lord Shen throws a blade at the radio to stop it from revealing the location to the monsters)
  • Lord Shen: I HATE it when that happens!
  • Kowalski: Yeah. Sometimes that gets really annoying.
  • Skipper: Good thing the monsters don't know where Kevin is at.

Entrance #5

  • Kevin: (Enters the rig, and the door shuts behind him)...Whoa! This place looks like it got ransacked by a pack of bears! Anyway, I need to find the surveillance room. (Suddenly, monster hybrids surround him)...Balls!
  • Sandy: HAI-YAH! (Kicks down the monsters like dominoes)
  • Shenzi: We got you covered, Kev. (Prepares to bite a mutant, but then stops, realizing she would be infected)...oooh-ho-ho-ho, hell no! I ain't NEVER sinkin' my teeth into that stuff, nuh-uh!
  • Ed: (Laughs crazily)
  • Banzai: Well, why don't we just charge into them, or smack them with our paws?
  • Shenzi: Nah, thet won't do any damage.
  • Ed: (Charges into a monster, launching it straight into a wall as Ed laughs in amusement) Yee-pphhssa!
  • Kevin: What did he say?
  • Banzai: He said that he sucked.
  • Kevin: "Ok, just show me to the sparkler system so we can beat this!"
  • Squidward: Sure, whatever. (They head down to the sparkler system)

Control Room

  • Skipper: The bird is in the building, Lodgers!
  • Alex: Perfect! Now we can stop Joe and those monsters.
  • Skipper: Move out, Lodgers! (The Lodgers team leaves the Control Room)
  • Duck:...Well, since we're about to be saved in the next few minutes...(Gets on his iTouch, and watches SpongeBob)

Surveillance Room

  • Po: (On walkie-talkie) "Skipper, status report!"
  • (Skipper): Kevin is in the building, and is now heading for the sprinkler system with the other Lodgers. We're going to aid them since we're no longer needed in the control room.
  • Po: Roger that. We'll remain in the surveillance room just in case.
  • (Skipper): You do that.
  • Po: Okay, guys, Kevin is in the building. We need to make sure they make it their safely.
  • Creeper: So do we go and help them?
  • Po: No, we need to stay in here and monitor the cameras.
  • A dragon seal is seen in the room the main sprinkler system lies, as the room is imfested by Dragon Hybreeds. eventally, Oily Joe appeared.
  • Mantis: (Dubbed as Kowalski) GOOD GOLLY WOLLY!!! (On walkie) Guys, Oily Joe and his minions are there waiting for you!
  • Skipper: Not a problem. We could surely use a final battle once in a while, right? We can take them.
  • Icky: I hope so.
  • Crane: Guys? Make sure Uncle Qiao is okay! We'll be watching you on the cameras.
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Crane, we'll do what we can! We'll make sure he's okay.
  • Skipper: If all goes well, Oily Joe will be cured of his oilophilia.
  • Kowalski: And if not...well...let's just hope for the best.
  • Skipper: No matter what happens to us, this ends here! (The Lodgers and Kevin make it to the sprinkler system room)
  • Kevin: HOLY BALLS!!!
  • Oily Joe: OOH! QU DAN! IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!
  • Kevin: Uncle Qiao! What is wrong with you?!?
  • Oily Joe: I'm getting the oil I need, of course! Mr. Oilspill will make me new oil one way or another! (Laughs) Eggs are egg-shaped! Wait, me realise, where Oilspill?
  • Icky: "We put him where only we can find him."
  • Oily Joe: "In cusins of couch?"
  • Icky: "No, he was too big for that for being a midget."
  • Iago: But you ain't getting the answers out of us one bit!
  • Oily Joe: Well, you ain't gettin' to this sprinkling system one bit! (Roars, and then laughs) Sounds like an elephant! (Laughs)
  • Skipper: MOVE OUT, MEN AND WEMEN! WE GOTTA GET TO THAT SPRINKLER SYSTEM! (The Lodgers split up, but the monsters surround them in all directions)
  • Oily Joe: (Barfs at the Lodgers, and they dodge) You aren't going anywhere!
  • The Dragon Hybreeds charged!
  • Icky: "SIT DOWN, FREAKY?!"
  • Icky smacks away a Frog Dragon Hybreed with a frying pan!
  • A dragon lobster Hybreed tries to attack Kolwalski!
  • Kowalski: (Blocks the attack, backflips behind him, and throws him into other monsters)
  • Icky: (Dragon Raccoon tries to attack him, and Icky smacks him with a frying pan)...(Dubbed as Flynn Rider) WHOA! I have GOT to get me one of THESE!!!
  • Sandy: (Spins two mutants in a circle, and throws them both into a wall) THAT'S for messin' with Texas!
  • SpongeBob: WOOOAAAAHHH!!! HAI-YAH! (Kicks a monster in the solarplexes, then steps on his foot, punches him in the nose, and kicks him in the groin)
  • Monster: OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
  • SpongeBob: (Kicks the monster to a wall) You just met the Sponge-i-nator!
  • Sandy: Please, you got that move from Ms. Congeniality!
  • SpongeBob: Wow, you read my mind!
  • Private: (Monsters surround him in a blitzkrieg) Well, this hardly seems fair! (Dodges their attacks with agility and reflexes) Told you it wasn't fair!
  • Skipper: (Slides for the sprinkler system, but Oily Joe smacks him to a wall) OOF!
  • Kowalski: (Does the same thing, but he gets smacked into a wall as well) OOF!
  • Iago: AAAARRRRRGGGHHH! (Rushes through Oily Joe, but winds up getting smacked into the ground) OOF!
  • Spyro: (He and Cynder rush for the sprinkler system, but they both get smacked to a wall) OOF!
  • Cynder: OOF!
  • Sparx: OOH! Chihuahua!
  • Kowalski: We can't get past him, Skipper, he's too big for us!
  • Skipper: "Remember, big and strong doesn't always mean it's superior and better! Remember that nhe's like a very impressionable autistic child! We just need to distract him!"
  • Boss Wolf: "Wait a minute..."

Flashback of much earlier.

  • Wolf 4: "Better yet, i got an idea! (Brings out some Olive Oil) Hey, i got Olive oil fresh from olives!"
  • Wolf 4 runs away as Oily Joe chased him!

end of flashback.

  • Boss Wolf: "Lightbulb."
  • Boss Wolf pulls out a bottle of Olive Oil!
  • Boss Wolf: "HEY JOE! OLVIE OIL HERE, FRESH DIRECTLY FROM OLIVES!"
  • Oily Joe: "Oh, ME WANT OILY OLIVES?!"
  • Boss Wolf: "Catch me first sucker!"
  • Boss Wolf makes a run for it!
  • Oily Joe: "ME GET OLIVE OIL! LITTLE FRIENDS, MAKE SURE MIFITS AND NEFPEWS NO NEAR SPARKLIES!"
  • Oily Joe charged forth as the Dragon Hybreeds and the Dragon Seal stood in the way of the sparkler system.
  • Kowalski: HAH! All too easy!
  • Skipper: Let's roll! (The Lodgers fight their way through the monsters, and manage to reach the sprinkling system, and dumps the antidote into it's water)
  • Kowalski: We got it, Skipper!
  • Skipper: ACTIVATING SPRINKLERS NO--(The monsters begin piling onto them) AARRGH!!!

Surveillance Room

  • Sir Hiss: (Watching whole thing on camera) THEY'RE TRAPPED!!!
  • Crane: I'll handle this! (Leaves)
  • Po: Be careful out there, Crane!
  • Crane: I will!

Sprinkler Room

  • Oily Joe: HAH! GOT OLIVE OIL!!!
  • Boss Wolf: (Oily Joe is holding him) CURSE YOUR FAST RUNNING ABILITY!!!
  • Oily Joe: Now, I can enjoy finally having some--(Boss Wolf kicks him in the gut) OOF! (Drops the olive oil, and it spills out on the floor) GRRRRRGH!!! (Prepares to barf on Boss Wolf)
  • Crane: UNCLE QIAO!!! (Oily Joe looks behind him to see Crane) You leave my friends alone!
  • Oily Joe: (Roars at him)
  • Spyro: (Uses Dragon Fury to blast the monsters off of them) Whew!
  • Skipper: Alright, let's get this over with--
  • Oily Joe: NOOOOO!!! (Runs for them, but Crane grabs him, and trips him over)
  • Kowalski: (Activates sprinklers, and they rain the antidote water down on the ground)
  • Oily Joe: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Slowly turns back to normal, as well as the seals and the monsters)
  • Kowalski: It's working!
  • Skipper: Alright! We did it! Up high! Down low! Too slow!
  • Crane: UNCLE QIAO!!! (The entire Lodge comes over to Oily Joe, who is laying on the floor moaning)
  • Kevin: Uncle Qiao? Say something!!!
  • Oily Joe:...(Barfs oil for 12 seconds, and falls unconscious, no longer leaking oil)...Uhhgh!...
  • Crane:...Uncle Qiao? UNCLE QIAO?!? WAKE UP!...No!...NO!...Please don't be dead! Please PLEASE don't be dead!
  • Tigress: I'm sorry, Crane. I think he's done.
  • Crane:...(Starts crying)
  • Kevin: (Starts sobbing) I can't believe he's gone! Why? WHY?!? Why did he have to drown himself in so much oil? Another substance would've satisfied him as long as it wasn't gasoline, fuel, or another fossil fuel. (Sniffles)
  • Bagheera: Well...I guess this is it.
  • Skipper: A moment of silence...to honor our fallen! (The Penguins cry) Just...just...think of monster trucks!
  • Sparx: AW, C'MON, YOU DUMB TUXEDO BIRD!!! THINKING OF MONSTER TRUCKS IS YOUR SOLUTION FOR EVERYTHING!!!
  • Skipper: (Shrugs) Way to spoil the moment, Sparx!
  • Icky: "Ironicly, him as a monster is what kept him alive. In hindsight, if those doctor guys did perfected the "Renewed" oil abit more, ya know, make it that, ya won't become a monster, then, maybe he would've made it."
  • Kevin made a realisation with what Icky just said!
  • Kevin: "That's it! That's it! My anidote is what would be able to regulate the dragon gem's powers! In throey, it could not only make Oily Joe ammune to Oil, but, it would also NOT let him turn monsterious!"
  • Crane: "Don't ya think you might be going ignorently insane."
  • Kevin: "Nope, just a don't give up yet attatude! Where's Oilspill?"
  • Boss Wolf: "Broom closet."

The hallway where the broom closet is.

  • Mr. Oilspill: "THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A MAN OF GREAT STARTURE?! I HAVE 15 CARS IN MONTE CARLO?! I WAS DEVORCED 10 AND A HALF TIMES, I HAVE NEARLY 9-TO-15 KIDS, AND I HAVE FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES, HIGH POLITICAL GOVERMENT PLACES?!"
  • Mr. Oilspill growls in anger!
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Boys, remind me to have the "Adjuster" my sciencetist cousins made for me ready for those lougers when this is over. We cannot let them reveil what happened here, understoood?"
  • Dr. Gayne: "Noted sir."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Oh and uh, one more thing, i really think we can still pull of the renewed oil, if you guys, oh i don't know, GET THE CHANCE TO PERFECT IT MORE AND GET IT RIGHT?!"
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "You don't have to yell."
  • Crane: (Comes inside) Mr. Oilspill, we need your help to make a perfected cure for Oily Joe!
  • Mr. Oilspill: You do, huh?
  • Kevin: Yes, Mr. Oilspill! Oily Joe is in a coma, and only the prefected cure can save his life!
  • Mr. Oilspill: YOU!!!
  • Kevin: "Look, i know your clearly sore at me for barging into your office this one time, threating to run you out of business once i found the renewable reshorse to end the oil industry, but now's not the time for hate-fest! My uncle is in danger of dying, and if that happens, that'll mean there'll be blood in your hands.... SENTIENT blood! And just think how much Tri-corn would react if she gets a whiff of it!"
  • Oilspill was silent.
  • Dr. Gayne: "They, have a good point sir."
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "Remember what you said how the controversy on Oil is like a diabeitus tapeworm."
  • Mr. Oilspill:...(Sighs) Very well, I shall help you save Oily Joe. But how are we gonna do it? We need to be quick about it since Joe could die really quick.
  • Kevin: Not to worry, Mr. Oilspill. I have a cup full of an antidote that I used to get Uncle Qiao back to normal. We just add that to your renewable oil, and it'll remove the dragon-mutation effect, and save Joe. And if we're lucky, we might be able to cure him of his cravings for oil in the process.
  • Mr. Oilspill: BRILLIANT!!!
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: Why didn't WE think of that sooner?
  • Dr. Gayne: Then let's get to work.

Lab

  • Mr. Oilspill: (Dr. Gayne and Dr. Bullwinkle have created a large cup full of the renewable oil source) There, it's done. Now, are you sure this will work?
  • Kevin: Absolutely! (Adds the antidote into the oil source, and it sizzles)...Uhhgh! What is that smell? Is that the oil sizzling?
  • Crane: Uh, Kevin?
  • Kevin: Oh, right! (Splashes Oily Joe's body with the oil) There, that should do it...(Nothing happens for a few seconds) C'mon, Uncle Qiao! C'mon!
  • Oily Joe: (Wakes up) Uhhhgh!...Qu Dan?...Crane?...What happened to me?...Where am I?
  • Crane: Uncle Qiao? Are you okay?
  • Oily Joe: Yeah, I'm fine...if not...really dizzy. I felt like I've been in a coma for over 12 years.
  • Kevin:...I...I can't believe it! He's cured!
  • Oily Joe: Cured? What do you mean? (Crane and Kevin give him a hug) Oh...
  • Po:...(Jaw drops, and Tigress looks at him)...What?
  • Crane: Oh, Uncle Qiao! I'm so glad you're all better! I thought I lost you forever!
  • Oily Joe: Okay, would any of you mind telling me where the hell I am?
  • Crane: Well, Uncle Qiao, it's a little hard to explain. You sort of...kinda...maybe...fell into a lake full of oil, and became an oil-craving retard for over 12 years. But then I had to take care of you when your immune system got weakened by all the oil. But you're all better now, Uncle Qiao.
  • Oily Joe:...Well...ouch.
  • Icky: "Well, since we're just about done here, i am convindent that nothing can absoluty wrong from he-"
  • The Security guards surround the lougers.
  • Icky: "Ah nuts, jinxed it again."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Look, it really pains me to do this, it really does. But i can't let the controversity get worse if you guys report this to Tri-corn or anyone that'll be able to harm the indusrty with this knowledge."
  • Sandy: "Well you can't keep us here forever!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Alchorse not!"
  • Icky: "Well, glad it's not a hostage situation."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Your just gonna be here for awhile in an orderly fastion to have your memories of this event erased."
  • Icky: "...... I really wished i started to keep by beak shut."
  • Lord Shen: "Well how in pray tell are you such intentions of making us very ignorent of this event will be?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "May i introdused, a speical little gift from a few cousins who happen to be sciencetists."
  • some workers walk with a huge device attacht to a chear with a head attactment on it.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Since your not gonna be able to remember this, i'll let you in on a tiny little secret. My vast oil boats, are, not fully without accsidents. But, unlike any other Oil Tycoon that would be all "Well, not my problem, just abunch of seals and seagulls", i actselly make an effert to clean up the mess with every money in my pocket... Privately, alchorse. Here's the thing, there might be someone who stubles apawn it by, extremely dumb cowinsidence, and, might get a teeny tiny wrong idea about it. So, that's where, this baby comes it. It allows me to edit out certain memories i don't want to be in there, and it'll be like there never was a spill. Cause, you see, if anyone found out that my company makes accsidents too, that would be, very bad for business... even more then already. Cause appearently, thanks to Oil Tycoons who are inconsiderate money grubbing doughebags, everyone now hates oil! There's people out there, out to find a new reshores, renewable none-of-the-less, trying to force oil rigs to shutdown, trying to force oil boats out of the waters, and have the oil industry altogather destroyed. I tried everything to prove i was different. I funded originisations deicated to help baby seals that were victims of some other Oil mongual's idiotcy, i gave money to the Hurricane Katrenia recovery, i planted Redwoods in the public parks, i attended royal balls, i even help clean up Equestia when Kevin went batshit insane! (sigh), but it alway ends the same. Everyone just assumes i am just trying to put people in a false sense of security, but really, i was just trying to prove that, i'm nothing like those other tycoons, i am not just some, money obcessed mongual that is very willing to poison the evioment if i end up getting profit. I am a very considerate and careful man. I had Joe taken to the hospital, cause i cared. Any other Tycoon would've covered him up, and keep him a secret even after he died. But me, i had him taken to the hospital. In fact, i originally tried to talk Bullwinkle and Gayne out this, "Add Power Gem's power into the oil to make it renewable" thing, cause i am fully aware how it would've worsen things, cause then the other Tycoons would've wanted in on the cake, and bam! Massive mining attack! Then there was the just use one and mass produce the power of those gems, and it was them that talked me into making Joe the test subject.... Look, i'm not evil, greedy, or selfish. I am just a lost soul, abused, neglected, and basturdised by the public, cause of the sins of others. I mean, you have any idea how many worlds refused to have me drill in the many untabed oils in their worlds, including Equestia dispite the fact i did them a huge favor?"
  • Lord Shen: "Well, it depends on which world your refering too, would you dis-include worlds already harboring their own oil or not?"
  • Icky: "And if so, that would be...."
  • Mr. Oilspill: ".....Practicly, all of them. Sadly, it's THAT bad. And can you even process what would happen if the events that transpired here were to be released to the general public?"
  • Patrick: "Uh..... People would be.... Upset?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "BINGO, PINKY! So, you guys have to understand, why i can't let you guys walk on outta here, with those memories!"
  • Marlene: "Is that so?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Not now, Marlene, i'm in a middle of a business meeting."
  • Marlene: "So i'm pretty sure your willing to include (brings out a badge) an undercover member of the EPA."
  • Mr. Oilspill: Wha-gi-di-wi-di-hua-wa-di-da-giba-ma-la-di-dwa-hy-you-a-ba-ju-du-wa-nya-wa-ga-yu-on-an-e-pa-WHAT?!?
  • Spongebob: "What did he said?"
  • Icky: "He said "Wha-gi-di-wi-di-hua-wa-di-da-giba-ma-la-di-dwa-hy-you-a-ba-ju-du-wa-nya-wa-ga-yu-on-an-e-pa-what". I think it's mostly unexpected surprise gibberish."
  • Gayne and Bullwinkle: "Oh, fudge."
  • Mr. Oilspill: Uh, Marlene, let's-let's be reasonable with this.
  • Marlene: There's nothing to be reasonable with after what you pulled just now.
  • Mr. Oilspill: But how--
  • Marlene: Well, I applied for this job under deep cover after the EPA saw what you were up to during your time cleaning up Equestria.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Who the hell told you that?
  • Kevin: I did. You looked peachey when you talked with Senator Tricorn the day before her Red Devil Spitting Cobra incident. At that time, I knew you were hiding something. So I informed the EPA, and well, here we are.
  • Mr. Oilspill: I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU, YOU TWIG-LEGGED OVERGROWN CHICKEN!!! (Tries to attack him, but Dr. Bullwinkle, Dr. Gayne, and Marlene stop him) I'M GONNA RIP THE EYES OUT OF YOUR HEAD, AND PISS IN YOUR DEAD SKULL!!! COME HERE, BIRDBRAIN!!! YOU FREAKED WITH THE WRONG GUY!!!
  • Mr. Oilspill calms down.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "I'm cool, i'm cool, i'm fine. But seriously Kev, the junk?!"
  • Kevin: "I felt something was up with you. I bet you managed to convince Tri-corn to put up oil rigs in the swamp before she became, crazy."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Well, it's not like she was very willing at first, i mean, come on, it is a swamp guys, but uh-"
  • Sandy: "I get it now, since you made sure your track record was so squeaky clean, alcourse Tri-corn had no problems letting you open oil rigs in the swamp!"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "..... Wow..... good guess."
  • Boss Wolf: "I'm sorta confused now. Is he a bad guy for covering up his messes and erasing people's memories, or a good guy cause he was at least willing to clean up his messes."
  • Lord Shen: "Well, it goes either way.The fact he cares for the evioment enough to clean up the mess makes some somewhat moraly superior... but the simularity to less etchical oil tycoons by the mere fact alone he wouldn't be honest about it cause of being consumed by fear."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Oh like that's a bad thing?"
  • Shifu: "Have you ever heard what Yoda's philosify on what fear can do?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "The green guy from star wars?"
  • Icky: Yes. You know, fear leads to hate, and hate leads to anger, and anger leads to corruption? There's a very distinctive pattern there, man.
  • Mr. Oilspill: Oh...well...I still don't mean anyone no harm.
  • Marlene: Reguardless, you do realize that I'm gonna have to shut this place down, right?
  • Mr. Oilspill: You know what? I don't care! Go ahead, shut it down! Nobody ever understands me no matter what I do. Well, I've had it. I'm no longer searching for any renewable resources, and that means I'm firing everyone. Even Gayne and Bullwinkle. (Gayne and Bullwinkle gasp)
  • Bullwinkle: Are you serious?!?
  • Mr. Oilspill: Dead serious.
  • Dr. Gayne: "Aw nuts. My only two things i ever learn is mecanics and chimistry."
  • Dr. Bullwinkle: "And the only other thing i know about is dinosaurs."
  • Cynder: "You know guys, we did not mean to cost you your jobs. We wish we would be able to help you guys consider a new career."
  • Icky: "Wait.... Did you guys say one of you know mecanics and one you know Dinos?"
  • Bullwinkle and Gayne: "Yeah."
  • Lord Shen: "Ya know, we once helped this goanna with a very ambitious dream of making sapient robotic dinosaurs in an island off florida. They could use the extra hands to get tha place up and running again."
  • Dr. Gayne: "Hey, anything's better then the unemployment line."
  • Icky: "Yeah, but, what about all these workers, security guys, and the duck from the control room."
  • Worker: "We can always just go back being car repair mecanics."
  • Worker 2: "Yep, we actselly were just that before we got drafted."
  • Security guard 1: "We security guards would just get reassigned to malls or business buildings or any of the like anyway. In fact, this isn't the first time i was reassigned when something got shut down."
  • The duck is seen walking witha suitcase and three boxes of donuts.
  • Duck: "I was thinking of quiting anyway. I did not sign up to almost get mauled by monsters. I'm going back to being the speical effects guy in hollywood, i at least know the monsters there are fake."
  • The duck walks away.
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Well, thanks to you misfits, i now yet have another oil rig shut down. I'll be lucky if Tri-corn would still let me have the three i still have left in the desert areas."
  • Sam: "Aw don't thank us."
  • Max the rabbit: "Just doing our duty."
  • Mr. Oilspill: "...... I was being sarcastic."
  • Sam: "We know. We were just being funny."
  • Icky: "So, what's gonna become of you now?"
  • Mr. Oilspill: "Well, it's not the end of my company as a whole, but it is the end of my swamp branch here. No doubt the next time you hear about me is when the news is all over this."

Epilogue

The temple.

  • TV: "MORNING NEWS FLASH! Shocking defeliments involving the Oil Tycoon Mr. Kronton Ramone Poozinhower, or nick-named, "Mr. Oilspill", who ironicly, dispite what most would think, does in fact cared for the evioment, but was also however guilty of being dishonest to the public out of fear of making the already negitive viewing on oil even worse then already. We now go to live with Senator Tri-corn already in serious rage."
  • Tricorn: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!! (Smacks a shelf down with her retractable tail spikes) I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! (Lifts the desk up, and throws it to the wall) AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I AM SO ************************ SICK OF THIS ************************* THAT JUST WENT ON TODAY! THIS ********************************** IS SO *********************************, I'M ***************************** MY ********************************** OFF!!! THIS IS ********************************* IN A ************************ WITH A BUCKET OF ******************************** ALAKAZAM!!! AAARRRRGHHHH!!! (Suddenly, she glitches and freezes while the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song plays)
  • TV: Well, you heard it here first. She gave a speech of pure rage, containing words i best not repeat. this was Scorch Scorchington with the news...
  • Crane: Well, it sure is nice to have Uncle Qiao back.
  • Icky: "So, what're we gonna do with him now?"
  • Oily Joe: Don't worry. Now that I'm no longer craving oil, I can go back home to China.
  • Crane: So you're just gonna leave?
  • Oily Joe: Sadly, yes. But I can't thank you enough for what you did for me, Crane. Besides, when did you become a Kung Fu master? Didn't you say to your mother you wouldn't--
  • Crane: Don't wanna talk about it.
  • Oily Joe: Well, okay. But anyway, you did good, Crane. I am forever in your gratitude. (Both he and Crane hug) Goodbye, Crane. (Flies off)
  • Crane: Goodbye, Uncle Qiao! I'll miss you.
  • Icky: (Sheds a tear) That's so...charishable.
  • Crane: Well, I guess our work here is done.
  • Iago: Well, there's one thing we didn't think to check out.
  • Crane: And what's that?
  • Icky: Oh, yeah. The baby seals.
  • Crane: Oh, don't worry. They're in the hooves of someone who knows how to care for them.

Fluttershy's Cottage

  • Baby Seal #1: (Fluttershy carries one of the baby seals in her hooves) (Giggles) Mama!
  • Jerry: AWW, that is so adorable!!! (Cuddles baby seal) Koochy-koochy-koo!
  • Baby Seal #1: (Giggles) Cute bunny!
  • Jerry: What're we gonna name them?
  • Fluttershy: Well, I'm still thinking on it. I'm thinking about calling this one 'Siren'.
  • Jerry: What made you come up with that name? (Baby seal sneezes) AWW!...I think I get your point.
  • Baby Seal #2: (Climbs up Fluttershy's leg) Mama! (Snuggles up in Fluttershy's lap)
  • Jerry: Aww, snug as a bug, I see?...Snuggle! We have our second name (Snaps) Just like that!
  • Fluttershy: That's a good name, Jerry. Siren and Snuggle. (Hugs both seals, and they swoon)
  • Jerry: Well, I could get use to having babies to keep me company when you're not here. I'll even babysit them for you.
  • Fluttershy: Are you sure you can handle it?
  • Jerry: Sure. A couple of baby seals can't be a problem, right?

Later...

  • Jerry: (Siren and Snuggle cartoonishly pull on Jerry like rubber) YAHHHRRGH! MY BODY'S NOT SUPPOSED TO STRETCH THAT FAR!!! (Crack) Oh...hey, my back feels better--OWCH!!!

Dragon Temple

  • Icky: Well, that's a good thing.
  • Spyro: "Well guys, i can safely say, nothing can't possably go wrong this time."

THE END

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