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Pinkie Pie, more or less, still gets along greatly with Maud's new boyfriend Mudbriar, but Pinkie was quick to noticed that he acted extremely reluctent about being given a customary tour of the Friendship School with Maud that Pinkie wanted to give to her for awhile. That is because of something the Crusaders accsidently uncovered late one night while preparing a speical cutie mark discovery activity with a camper for their camp from a daredevil family. It was discovered that Mudbriar is the distent nefpew of a former E.E.A. member, Chancellor School O'Hardknocks, a once destin new High Chancellor to replace High Chancellor University, but when his assendion party began, it was quickly cut short when University ordered the group to disban in due to what occured with Neighsay. Not helping that O'Hardknocks was amongst Neighsay's personal peers, so because of it, even when O'Hardknocks wasn't seriously behind Neighsay's racisum but was just as much as a rules follower as Neighsay was and a firm believer of the E.E.A.'s broken ways, that means that the E.E.A. can't accept his High Chanellorship should it reband. In wanting revenge for being denied his chance, he aims to ruin the shcool by finding out it's valuable secrets and creating a friendship school of his own that will be twice as more engaging then Twilight's, planning to get the Shcool of Friendship to crumble by having it out competed, but since he can't just waltz in, he desided to have Mudbriar, or what he refers to as "That Weird Nefpew" from one of his many sisters, and have him date Maud to get close to Pinkie, ergo, get close to the Friendship School. O'Hardknocks then forces Mudbriar to go along with it anyway or else he'll break Mudbriar's pet stick, Twiggy. The Crusaders told the discovery to Pinkie Pie who wants to warn Maud, but when she realises that it would break Maud's heart and risk getting Mudbriar to be dragged down with O'Hardknocks, she needs to find a way to save both the school AND Maud's relationship from an embittered should've-been High Chancellor. Can the Lougers help with this?

Transscript

Chapter 1: Maudbriar Has Set Sail

Maud's home.

  • Maud and Mudbrair were seen in Maud's Cavern home, being served to a lovely dinner by the Jewelerfish.
  • Duke Topaz: "Is this lovely dinner to your liking, dear love birds?"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, ponies are of the Equine family. Birds are avians."
  • Duke Topaz: ".... Well, it, was an expression."
  • Maud: ".... Mind Mudbrair, Topaz. He has a cute little quirk of pointing out tecnecalities."
  • Squire Ruby: ".... We noticed. Kinda no wonder Pinkie had a spaz attack over this guy."
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, she was next to me when she had it."
  • Duke Topaz: "Yes well, again, expression. Try, not to take them too litterally friend."
  • Mudbrair: ".... Tecnecally, we only know eachother for a few hours."
  • Duke Topaz: "..... Wow. He really does point out tecnecalities alot."
  • Mudbrair: "I know, I know, it gets abit much, is just.... I grew up from a very logical family that were the primary shorce why I have the qouted, "Quirk", you speak of. They're often leaders of many education or science related groups."
  • A snarky looking Pearled Jewelerfish: "(Showing up) Are they sticks in the mud too, Wise Guy?"
  • Duke Topaz: "LADY PEARL?! PLEASE?!"
  • Mudbrair: "..... Tecnecally, they were ponies. I wouldn't be able to be born if they were unsentient piece of broken off tree branch in wet soil made by the rains."
  • Lady Pearl: "..... (Laughs snarkfully!)..... THIS GUY'S A GOLDMINE?!"
  • Duke Topaz: "PEARL?! PLEASE?! THIS IS A GUEST?! AND THE BOYFRIEND OF THE PONY THAT FREED US FROM GEOATOA?!"
  • Lady Pearl: "Well, if ya hadn't noticed, WE'RE STILL NOT GRIFFINS ANYMORE?! WE'RE STILL F*****G JEWELERFISH?! I MISSED HAVING WINGS AND A BEAK AND TALONS?! I MISSED FEATHERS?! I MISSED, NOT BEING A CRAWLING GREEDMONGER'S WET DREAM?!"
  • Duke Topaz: "Pearl, please, you know this curse can't be helped! We made the mistake of listening to Geoatoa back then, and we paid the price!"
  • Lady Pearl: "DOESN'T MAKE THIS LIFE ANYMORE FAIR?! (Crawls off angerly!)"
  • Maud: "..... Care to explain who that was?"
  • Duke Topaz: "(Sighs).... That's my half-daughter, Pearl. Or Lady Pearl as it is. As you heard, she's..... Extremely, bitter about still being a Jewelerfish even with the Stone's fusing with that broken Midus Orb. I try to ensure she that this curse isn't something even a purifived stone can revert, but..... She really misses being a Griffin."
  • Mudbriar: I can tell. And technically, the term is 'Jewelfish'. You said 'Jewelerfish', Griffin interpretation of the name aside. Jewelfish in the wild are found all over underground caves rich in gems and gemstones. They make their nests in broken down gems the same way dragons make their nests in treasure. They also make up their diet like dragons. The only time they're seen on the surface is the same kind of tree where me and Maud met. Geodendronis versicolor, The Jewel Tree. Native to Draconia, and introduced globally by dragon farmers, but paradoxically still rare. They are renowned and quite edible pests to dragons.
  • Squire Ruby: Hence why it's a curse.
  • Duke Topaz:... Well, aren't you a well of information?
  • Mudbriar: I have seen the Well of Information created by the Alicorn God, Prince Cognizance, or Prince Knowitall if your tongue is unrefined, even though ponies say it's a blasphemous name. It isn't THAT very impressive, but it has it's charm.
  • Duke Topaz:... Okay, I feel like I'm done with this conversation. The sea bees might need something. (Crawls away)
  • Squire Ruby: "Duh, I feel needed too! (Crawls away!)"
  • Maud: "..... It's okay, Mudbrair. They just need to get used to you like how Pinkie did."
  • Mudbrair: "Don't worry, it's not the first instence. It has happened approximently 799.999.090.8272.73261 and a half times. In laymen's terms..... I'm so used to it, even I can give an accreate number for how often ponies or even non-ponies have me these simular reactions."
  • Maud: "Well, no one means it to be rude. They're just having a hard time to understand you."
  • Mudbrair: "I'd imagine so. Ponies are commenly emotional creatures. It's a rare oddity for them to act like us, me being a prodigy of science and education leaders, and you suffering from an extremely rare mental defect. But at least Pinkie was the 0.1.9829% chance that somepony has actively tried to get along with me dispite my contrasting behavior for her, albeit still coping with my quirks."
  • Maud: "Well it's like you said. Ponies are emotional creatures. Pinkie's... (A flashback of Pinkie's antics was seen, canon and otherwise).... Beyond not an exception to this rule."
  • Mudbrair: "Pinkie Pie is clearly a morally wholesome pony. Or in laymen's terms, a good pony. Though, if I'm permitted to change the subject, I have to inform you that a familial unit designated as "My Uncle", is coming to visit Ponyville. He expressed some interest to seeing you and Pinkie Pie, along with seeing the Friendship School, even though I tried to tell him that it's not that spiecal other then being the first school to defy the E.E.A.... And survived the odds of not being shutdown for being unaccredited there after. If albeit due to the E.E.A.'s abrupt disbanding."
  • Maud: "I see. Well, Pinkie and her friends would love to show your uncle the school and show themselves."
  • Mudbrair: "Just keep in mind, he tends to be.... Irritable. He was once promised a prodominiate position, but then was denied of it for a series of events beyond his control. He also doesn't want me to talk about it, espeically with or without him.... Ever."
  • Maud: "My sister Pinkie's very good at making ponies feel better. She even once cured a grouchy griffin of his tumor that was keeping him from exspearience joy."
  • Mudbrair: "Oh yes, I heard about that event. Poor but lucky Gryffindor. And though I still question the science and logic behind a form of canceredised brain parts being able to prohibit emotion and that Pinkie out of all the other cheerful sorts was able to cure him, I remember that Equestria is a world were Impossable and Improbable are more suggestions then fact thanks to the existence of mana, or magic for the more simpler folk. Though I estimate my uncle... Would be a bit of a hard pony to impress. Just, trust me. My father once suggested that he was borned without a sense of humor, though logically, I think it's more like he grew up without experiencing humor and is conditioned to never be easily amused. He does laugh, but, they tend to be, strange sounding. Not nessersarly monotone, but, they give you a feeling that his morality leaves, alot of be desired."
  • Maud:... He sounds like an uncle that I would have as well.
  • Mudbriar: He does. He really does. Come. We must meet him there.
  • Maud: "Okay."

Chapter 2: Mudbrair's Uncle/Another CMC Adventure

Train Station.

  • An embittered slender pony with an old timy mustache and a bended graduation hat was seen arguing with the conductor!
  • Pony: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY LUGGACE IS MISSING?!"
  • Conductor: "Claim down sir, it's just, sometimes passingers' luggaage can end up being, missplaced. Do realise that your not the only pony who uses the train."
  • Pony: "..... I, have to put up, with hours, of crying babies, chattering betties, hearing about teenage druma about some "cute boy" named "Sprinkle Minkle", A NAUGHTY BRAT PUT A TACK ON MY SEAT WHEN I WAS USING THE FACILITIES, Food Service SPILLED wine on my good suit, my hat got bented on the ride here, I nearly suffricated under the hot towel, AND my nostrels are still TAINTED from the stenche of that pig farmer THAT WAS ALLOWED ON THAT TRAIN?! WHY DO WE FARM PIGS ANYWAY?! WE DON'T EAT MEAT?!"
  • Conductor: "Well, they're good at hunting down truffles and-"
  • Pony: "AND NOW, TO TOP OFF ALL THIS BAD LUCK, (Starts turning red like a boiling themonintor), MY LUGGAGE, WITH MY STRESS PILLS, ARE MISSING?! (His mane caught on fire!) DO YOU NOT REALISE THAT I SUFFER OF MASSIVE STRESS ANXITY?!"
  • Conductor: ".... (Gulp).... I do now, sir."
  • Pony: "THAT'S SCHOOL O'HARDKNOCKS TO YOU?! OF THE PROUD AND SCIENCETIFIC O'HARDKNOCKS BLOOD LINE?! (Foams at the mouth)! ANDISHOULDINFORMYOUTHATTHISISTHEMOSTAMBYSALSERVICEIEVER- (Gets pounced by a suddenly appearing nurse pony that pulled out a needle filled with medicine and injected it into him, which calmed him down)..... Reshived....."
  • Nurse Pony: "..... Sorry. Nurse Care Giver, I'm designated as Mr. O'Hardknock's, erm, well, care giver. You see, his family have a long history of having heart and brain complications that sometimes, if they get too stressed out, they have, abit of a meltdown."
  • Conductor: ".... Those are some extreme complications if THAT happens!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: "That's why he takes his "Stress Pills", they're actselly cardiac and cranium stabilisers for Ponies of, his health."
  • O'Hardknocks got up.
  • O'Hardknocks: "So I cannot stress enough, why it's impourent for my luggage to be found, this min-"
  • A clumsy baggage boy looking like Snails arrived and tripped down!
  • Baggage Boy: "S-s-s-s-s-s-Sorry for the delay, Mr. O'Hardknocks. Your luggage was under alot of other ponies' stuff."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Grabs his luggage) THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE THE INCOMPIDENCE OF NOT GETTING MY LUGGAGE ON TIME, YOU MORONIC- (Care Giver calmed him down with a back rub).... (Sigh)..... Don't expect a tip from me then. (To the Conductor) And you?! I will be sure to have a discussion with your manager about this!"
  • Conductor: "There's no need, we have a complaint booth for those with an unsatisfived train ride will be given speical accomindations for future travel."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Good! Then I shall find this booth admititetly! (Storms away from the coductor as Nurse Care Giver quietly gave the Baggage Boy his tip for O'Hardknocks as she caught up with him)...."
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Mr. O'Hardknocks, we talked about getting too stressed out."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well excuse me if I didn't enjoyed a GOOD train ride?! Ugh, I missed the old days where I can just travel on a private canterlot chariot as provided by the Assusiation! I enjoy a luxerious ride as I am treated to a find eatery by private service Sprites, and get back-rubs, and not leaving from it smelling like spilled wine and pig filth?! AND MOST CERTAINLY THE DAMN HOT TOWELS DIDN'T TRIED TO SUFFICATE ME?!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Mr. O'Hardknocks!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Okay okay, fine, I'll calm down! I'll calm down even quicker when I find that complaints booth!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: Provided you don't relapse when you start the complaining.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well that depends on how co-operative the holder of the booth is! I can't promise to be phaient to an incompident complaints reshipient!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Well trust me, a complaints reshiver is usually a very attentive person. But, at least try if that's the case, if not nessersarly for me, but for your family. Your sister had grown VERY worried about you as of late. Your meltdowns had been getting worse since.... What happened with the assusiation."
  • O'Hardknocks: I WAS ABOUT TO BE ANOTHER HIGH CHANCELLOR UNTIL THE ENTIRE THING COLLAPSED!!! I WAS CHEATED!!!!
  • Nurse Care Giver: Being promoted at a bad time is nothing to be upset about.
  • O'Hardknocks: YES IT IS!!! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU WERE PROMOTED AND THEN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER SHUT DOWN IMMEDIATELY?!? Don't tell me you'd take it well.
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Well, I, won't deny that I would be, discouraged, and, abit disgruntled, but, I would try to undertstand the nuance, and, in the case of the Assusiation.... It had a problem with not letting the Fear Wars be in the past, and well.... You need to understand that Celestia's parents didn't wanted to risk Neighsay to maintain legal athority."
  • O'Hardknocks: "WELL THEY COULD'VE JUST AS SIMPLY HAD HIM FIRED AND TAKEN TO THAT WRETCHED ASYLUM?! THEY DIDN'T HAD TO MAKE THAT AGING FOOL HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT THE E.E.A. AS WELL?! I mean, as much as I had a kinship with Neighsay, I am NOT afraid to admit that I KNEW that mindset of his would drag the rest of us down to a bad place?!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: It's all in the past.
  • O'Hardknocks: IT WAS ABOUT A MONTH AGO!!!!
  • Nurse Care Giver: It's still the past.
  • O'Hardknocks: Ugh! I can see why University's adopted sister is gone. His choices harmed us. Because of him, I worked hard for nothing. All that potential, wasted. All because of him, Neighsay, the Celestial family, and these stupid ponies.
  • Nurse Care Giver: Wait, how was this their fault?!
  • O'Hardknocks: They ill-prepared the school. It's everypony's fault. University for being such a fool, Neighsay for ruining our image, the Celestial family for not offering a better solution, and THESE ponies for not giving a complete head-start and rushing the foundation of the entire school.
  • Nurse Care Giver: That sounds like treason, sir. Neighsay got punished because his actions were defying royal orders about a new method of spreading friendship.
  • O'Hardknocks: They can all bite me! Princess Twilight is basically forcing the philosophy of friendship on other races because she thinks our origin means that we can just narcissistically name ourselves the dominant race like some Jehovah's Witnesses with guns.
  • Nurse Care Giver: The entire point of the school is to bring races together and help each other in a natural flow.
  • O'Hardknocks: They'll have to prove that because they haven't shown anything to do so otherwise. Twilight is still at odds with Queen Novo!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "For a wrong Twilight earnestly did in desperation."
  • O'Hardknocks: Ponies still treat griffins like they're lying greedy mercenaries or con artists since the last Convocation of Creatures brought a serious controversy!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "It's because a rampent greed problem makes Griffins misproportionaly like that, sir. It's been like that since they lose their idol, sir."
  • O'Hardknocks: Ponies still hesitate to be around Changelings!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Only because they're worried that Chrysalis would come back into power and undermine their reformation."
  • O'Hardknocks: Yaks are still in a seriously bad relationship since the near-war orchestrated by Yakbrain!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "They are making good efferts for amends though."
  • O'Hardknocks: Dragons are still hard to get along with!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "That's purely because they're aggressive and independent creatures. They're not yet, used to pony interactions."
  • O'Hardknocks: And the Panans are still not willing to make up for the attack of the Storm King.
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Well, given the implications that the Storm King wasn't a unigte case and that he has a family, it's possable that the Panans are not in any condition to do so."
  • O'Hardknocks: My point being, Giver.... Nothing has changed since October 6th last year. 10 months of racial tension, and these problems are still here. So, this will be their last chance to make up for it. If they fail, then they're going to be in big trouble I'l make an exsample out of them for sure.
  • Nurse Care Giver: Sir, isn't that an extreme thing to say?
  • O'Hardknocks: Call it whatever you want. However this problem of mine ends, it ends now. And no one is standing in my wa- (Bumps face first into Maud Pie)..... What the?!
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, Uncle.... My girlfriend's standing in the way."
  • Maud: "..... Sorry if I stood in the way."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Gets back from Maud)..... (Quietly) OH great. As if my weirdo nefpew wasn't bad enough. Now he has an even weirder girlfriend! (Unenfusiasticly) Hello, Nefpew Mudbrair. How's your stick study?"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, it's twigology, the study of twigs. It's actselly a smaller unspoken sub-genre of Treeology, the study of trees, which-"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Yeah yeah, I get it, I get it! Spare me the details! Now, once I find a complaint booth for my bad travels here, I would like to know where your girlfriend's house is since I know you haven't moved to ponyville yet since your still in Twigology school..... Of which I question why the E.E.A. approved of it, along with the Rocktology University."
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, both twigology and rockology can teach ponykind alot of how stone and wood is formed as they are now, and-"
  • Maud: "Did you say E.E.A.?"
  • O'Hardknock: ".... (Sarcasticly) You got quite a catch there, Nepfew. Can't imagine the kids..... (Seriously) Are you slow or something, child? You heard right. The E.E.A. A group, that I was once apart off, before Sparkle and her misfit friends, (Gets nearly intense again) RUINED IT FOR ME?! (Nurse Care Giver gives another backrub, shushing him)....... And left me in a state of personal misery."
  • Maud: "..... Mudbriar..... A word?"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, it's two words, Mud being for wet soil, and Briar, being any of a number of prickly scrambling shrubs, especially the sweetbrier and other wild roses. (Maud cleared her throat)..... Oh, you mean you want to have a private conversation not heard by those that you don't want to hear. Uh, you'll have to excuse us, Uncle, and Hello to you too, Miss Care Giver. (Care Giver gave a brief happy wave and resumed giving the backrub there after as Maud dragged Mudbrair)."
  • Maud: "..... Mudbrair, I have concerns about your uncle."
  • Mudbrair: "Let me guess..... It's related to the E.E.A. and your sister's involvement with the school, correct? Well, be assured that tecnecally, my uncle doesn't back Neighsay's fear wars based mistrust to other races."
  • Maud: ".... But he didn't sounded like he was pleased with the school anyway."
  • Mudbrair: "Well, Uncle was always an, instint results kinda guy. He kinda thinks that issues like things involving race would get better overnight and that better relations with nations is instintantious."
  • Maud: ".... He clearly has trouble realsing that like a stilagmite, or a great oak, that great things don't happen as soon as possable. They take time."
  • Mudbrair: "That is true. But uncle was, never good with waiting. Now, tecnecally, I already know what your going to say, but, don't worry, he could barely handle a typical day in public trasnportation. He's in no shape to engage in a nefarious activity. His condition, isn't equistly superior."
  • Maud: "... Mudbrair, I trust you enough to understand that. I'm just worried for my sister's sake. She really likes spending time in that School. It would desistate her if she loses out on making those students happy."
  • Mudbrair: "Well tecnecally, it would desistate Twilight more cause it's her school, but I do understand what you mean. I assure you, the worse my uncle ever is, is being irritable and miserable. Otherwise, he's has harmless as an Twiggy."
  • Maud: ".... I'll take your word for it."
  • Maud and Mudbrair reapprouched O'Hardknocks.
  • Mudbrair: "Uncle, I felt that maybe you already accumulated alot of stress already, so maybe it's best to get some rest."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Oh, fine. That complaints' booth is likely on a unionated break anyway. I'll contend with it when I come back here. So, about your Girlfriend's house, does it have a guest room?"
  • Mudbrair: "Well, tecnecally..... It's not even a house. Nor in ponyville. It's more, ponyville-ajacent."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Glass breaks as O'hardknocks made a surprised face)..... Wha....."

Maud's Paradise Cavern.

  • O'Hardknock: "YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIVES IN A CAVE?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, it's a cavern...."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... A CAVERN IS NOT A REAL HOME FOR PONIES?! THAT MAKES YOUR GIRLFRIEND A HOMELESS BUM?! IF YOU INTEND TO HAVE CHILDREN, YOU NEED TO PROVIDE THEM A HOUSE TO BE SAVE FROM PREDATORS AND- (Nurse Care Giver gives him a sip of water with a pill in it)..... And pestilence, and the cold, and vermin, and who knows what matter of horror lerks here?!"
  • Maud: "In my defence, it's an improvement from the Ghastly Gorge, even when it had it's own fair share of interesting rocks."
  • O'Hardknocks: "....... DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW ABOUT THIS, NEPFEW?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, I'm still planning on how I would introduse Maud to them."
  • O'Hardknocks: "THEN I WILL SPEAK FOR THEM AND SAY THAT YOU AS A O'HARDKNOCK CAN'T MERRY THIS HERMIT?! HOW WILL YOU FEED YOURSELVES?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Well, tecnecally, this undergrounw valley does grow some subterrainian foods here. Duke Topaz served some this morning."
  • O'Hardknocks: "YOU EATEN SOMETHING FROM THE UNDERGROUND?! THAT COULD HAVE ADVERSED EFFECTS NOT KNOWN ON THE SURFACE?! DON'T YOU HAVE JOBS OR ANYTHING?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, I'm still in Twigology Classes, and Maud's a rockologiest."
  • O'Hardknocks: "BUT WHO DOES SHE WORK FOR?!"
  • Maud: ".... I'm freelance. I work for whoever needs my services."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... THEN WHY ARE YOU IN A CAVERN?!"
  • Maud: "..... I don't do well with communites socially. Everypony tends to think I'm weird."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Gets heavily stressed again) YA DON'T SAY?! (Giver gives him another sip of the pilled water)..... Well your appearent social anxity's no excuse to be like a cavepony! This place is no place for a family! What if there's danger?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Fret not, uncle. Maud's sister gotten rid of a situation with a giant cursed Goldster from a forgotten legend a good while back, so there's only a deserted bandit kingdom and a thriving subterainian ecosystem beyond this part of the cavern."
  • Silence.......

Ponyville.

  • O'Hardknocks was seen stomping angerly on the verge of a fit as Nurse Care Giver keeps up, reading another shot!
  • Maud and Mudbrair looked on.
  • Mudbrair: "..... Tecnecally, he doesn't hate your Cavern. He's just used to modern comferts."
  • Maud: "..... I may not feel emotions, but I am feeling a sea of discontent with him."
  • Mudbrair: "(Sighs)..... You're not the first to feel that way. My uncle has an unfortunate history of having ponies either fear him or louthe him because of his, anger issues. Again, tecnecally, he didn't say he hated your place, he's just use to modern convinences. Hence why he's trying to find an Inn in ponyville.... Speaking of which, did Pinkie ever mentioned Ponyville having an Inn?"
  • Maud: "Just the Bed & Breakfest Place: Bedtime and Sunny Side Up' Inn, the home and business of Moonlight Raven and Sunshine Smiles. They're a nice odd couple. Be ashame if your uncle scares the daylights out of them."
  • Mudbrair: "Well in that case, I better help Miss Care calm my Uncle down faster. (Trots up ahead of Maud, who sighed monotoned, but still looks concerned dispite a neutrol face.)"

Bedtime and Sunny Side Up Inn

  • Maud:... (Mudbriar came out) How did it go?
  • Mudbriar: Uncle O'Hardknocks is sound asleep. Not easy for Giver either. Sometimes it's nice that he's on my father's side.
  • Maud: And you're sure he's not a danger to the School?
  • Mudbriar: He's no more dangerous to them as a Jewelfish to a dragon. High Chancellor University did send him here for what I can presume is a nice talk about the tarnished relationship the EEA gained.
  • Maud: Well what concerns me is that with the craziness that goes on at that school, anything can happen. They can find ways to make him crack like a rock.
  • Mudbriar: I have always said that Uncle O'Hardknocks's mind is as hard as a rock, but as fragile as a twig. He has an unstable attitude, but I assure you that he is not one to resort to Neighsay's level.
  • Maud:...... I hope you're right.
  • Mudbrair: "Also, tecnecally, we are lucky that Smiles and Raven are being paient with us about it."
  • Maud: "They're used to grouchy costamers at this point. They work in an Inn after all. There's always bound to be that one unpleasent visitor every now and again."

School of Friendship

  • Twilight: Alright, girls. Before we head back home for the night, let's be reminded one more time that High Chancellor University is bringing in a former EEA member.
  • Applejack: And that still sounds like an accident waiting to happen. We're seriously going to welcome an ex-E.E.A. member here?
  • Twilight: Look, I know this sounds risky, but Celestia had ensured me that the worse Mr. O'Hardknocks is, is extremely strict for the rules, and, extremely ill-tempered and some, health issues. Mr. University Spirit has promised to put him in his place if he gets, problematic.
  • Applejack: Yeesh, he sounds like he shouldn't even be working.
  • Twilight: And I should also add he's neouriously stubbern. Kinda expected from ponies as extremely dedicated to their work as the O'Hardknocks. Anyway, University told me this member is not a very happy one. In fact, he has absolutely no sense of humor.
  • Pinkie: Please, I did cure Count Gryffindor of that benign tumor that made him a grouch. This guy's NO problem.
  • Twilight: Well this time, no tumor is involved on what's wrong with Mr. O'Hardknocks. He was unable to become the next high chancellor of the EEA before it was disbanded. And likely, he doesn't exactly have extremely high opinions of us since our school's refuseal to bow to the E.E.A. was basicly a catalyst for that. Don't expect a welcoming party to have him forget something like that, cause, though I'm not a gambling mare, I can safely bet that he is going to be.... Extremely bitter.
  • Rainbow Dash: Ohh, boohoo, he didn't get to be a high chancellor of an organisation tainted by Fear Wars mindsets, big whoop.
  • Twilight: Rainbow Dash, this is serious. Keep in mind that Mr. O'Hardknocks has exspeariened incrised health complicates since his dreams were shattered. Both of those, might not be very good for a pony's purity, espeically one like one of the O'Hardknocks are are rumored to have extremely little to no friends outside of their family! University brought him here because he was afraid he'd become just like Neighsay. We have to show him that it's not our fault. If we screw this up, then-
  • Rainbow Dash: Then what? If he does just swear revenge, I'll simply pin him and fly his ass right into Black Stallion Asylum. One episodic adventure spared.
  • Twilight:... (Sighs) You don't get it. He is a personal peer of Neighsay. He'll likely join him, even if we do or do not send him there. And again, he is in no condition for that kind of life, Rainbow Dash! He might not handle the incompidence of Neighsay's goons all too well nor deal with the stress of being an enemy of Equestria! He could die if he takes too much! The point of this whole EEA ordeal is to heal the damage done to it, not make the wounds bigger. We must prove to him that this is a safe interracial school and prevent a bigger infamy to them. We can't risk more EEA treachery, so we have to play this carefully.
  • Applejack: "So, if incase he is trying anything, what's the best alternative to Black Staillian Asylum if it'll only risk Neighsay getting a member for his possie?"
  • Twilight: "University has said he can handle it. The one thing all E.E.A. members share, is universeal respect for him. Even Neighsay would not knowingly disrespect him, well, back then, at least. Even if O'Hardknocks was embittered enough that he would try something, University will handle it. Besides, Yaysay considers him impourent for his own verson of the E.E.A. that won't be so against the shcool."
  • Pinkie: "Well based on what you said, Twilight, this guy sounds like he's gonna be a hard fix. I think we're likely gonna get some trouble with him first before we even get CLOSE to get this guy to better like us."
  • Twilight: "Don't worry. Professor Buzzord has prepared a soothing panic room to put O'Hardknocks in incase that happens. He figured we would use it for him or other E.E.A. members we would have trouble with in the foreseeable future."
  • Applejack: "And, your sure he woould do this away from students, right?"
  • Twilight: "Don't worry, I told him to build the room in an unused hallway, so there's little risk of casualties! (An exploudsion was heard)..... Collatteral damage, unfortunately, is still unavoidable."
  • Rarity: "(Sighs), Ya know, the sooner we find the Professor a very attentive and compident assistent for him that'll home reduse mindless accsidents, the better!"
  • Raindow Dash: "Doesn't he already have the Iguana, and the turtle, and his cool robot hat?"
  • Rarity: "Well yes, but Igmar's more of a butler, Kurtle's too supportive, and Hatty, while compident, is, quickly prone to panic."
  • Twilight: "That will be something for another time, girls. For now, we have to worry about making the school presentiable to Mr. O'Hardknocks. And that means asking the students to behavie around them. I worried they would have a sour opinion about any E.E.A. member not like University, fearing they're all abunch of Neighsays!"
  • Applejack: "To be frank Twilight, since you said that O'Hardknocks was one of Neighsay's peers, he doesn't sound like an improvement from him neither."
  • Rarity: Yeah, this guy sounds like the kind of pony that'll just snap no matter how courteous we are. He sounds like he has the mind of a yak and the heart of a dragon.
  • Spike: Wow, really-
  • Rarity: Besides you and the students at the school, Spike. Point is, we might be doomed anyway. Why can't we just have University take care of this?
  • Twilight: This isn't just about the both of them. This is about us and the school. We have to set the example that's not what Neighsay said, or the EEA might not let us live it down.
  • Rainbow Dash: That's their problem, not ours. They can work it out without us.
  • Twilight: Rainbow Dash, could there be a reason you aren't taking this seriously?
  • Rainbow Dash: Uh, yeah. What's serious about a whiny joke who blames us for something Neighsay did? What did we ever do that even earns us their constant harassment?
  • Twilight: Ugh, Rainbow, I expected you to take this more seriously than you are.
  • Rainbow Dash: Look, this will be a cakewalk anyway. University can ease any tension and we just have to appear very responsible and safe. Done. No worries.
  • Rarity: How could you be so confidant about this?
  • Rainbow Dash: Because we've dealt with worse than anything in the shameless EEA. One simple pony can't possibly hope to undermine us. Others have tried. If he did swear revenge, nobody will give a flying feather about his sob story, and he'd be nothing. He doesn't exactly represent the EEA as a whole.
  • ???: No, but he certainly comes close. (A familiar pony came in)
  • Spike:... Hey, you're that Agent 8 guy for the EEA that snooped around during our Yakotaur adventure, aren't you?
  • Agent 8: I have a name, you know. My name is Eightball Roll. And I came... To check up on my baby cousin Cozy.
  • Twilight: Wait, as in Cozy Glow? You're her cousin?
  • Eightball: Yep. I'm her guardian after all since her parents aren't around much. My dad in the EEA made me an agent because of my good magic skill and calculative mind. Wanted something better for me than just being a gambler in Las Pegasus. Premature retirement until Yaysay gets everything to work again spares me some gambling time.
  • Twilight:... Then what's this about O'Hardknocks?
  • Eightball: Well, he's a pretty infamous attention attractor. He causes scenes that have always reached the EEA. If he was to mastermind something, it's bound to anger the scattered councilors out there. Me and my dad in Las Pegasus don't mind too much about it. I just stick around in Ponyville watching for any EEA funny business. It gets boring sometimes, but, it has perks. I met myself a nice sneaky mare with a knack for spying like me.
  • Pinkie: OooOOOOOOOoooooh! What's her name?
  • Eightball: Hidden Shadow.
  • Rainbow Dash: (Everyone was surprised)... YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ONE OF PRED JUDU DES' ADOPTED DAUGHTERS?!?
  • Eightball: Wait, THE Pred Judu Des? She didn't mentioned that!
  • Fluttershy: "Likely because she was afraid you wouldn't wanted to be around her because of Pred's.... Controversey."
  • Eightball: But didn't he reform?
  • Spike: "Well, yes, but he still has alot to recover from."
  • Eightball:.... I'll uh, be sure to talk to Shade about that. I also came to tell you something recent. O'Hardknocks is the uncle of a pony that mentioned one of you. I think his name was, Mudburner, Mudbramble-
  • Pinkie: Mudbriar?
  • Eightball: Yeah, that's it!
  • Pinkie: Oh, yeah, my sister Maud's boyfriend, I met him once and he was really- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT, O'HARDKNOCKS IS HIS UNCLE?!?
  • Eightball: "You didn't know? He was of the O'Hardknocks clan, ponies that are often leaders in science and education groups, how did you not know this?"
  • Pinkie: "I WAS NEVER GIVEN HIS LAST NAME?!"
  • Eightball: "Ohhhhh.... Guess we both learned something new then?"
  • Pinkie: ".... UGHHH?! AND JUST WHEN I WAS GETTING USED TO HIM?! NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MUDBRAIR OF ALL PONIES BEING A DIRTY E.E.A. SPY?!"
  • Eightball: "Ahem!"
  • Pinkie: ".... No offence."
  • Eightball: "Thank you."
  • Rarity: "Oh come now, Pinkie, Mudbrair doesn't look capable to be so malcious. Also, Maud, for her lack of emotions, is clearly a smart, if sometimes hard to understand, pony. I think she would've known if Mudbrair had undesireable intentions. Besides, hard to understand Mudbrair himself is, he does show genuine feelings for Maud. I think the revelation of his unfortunate genepool, just comes in a bad time?"
  • Pinkie: "BUT GUYS?! DON'T YA THINK IT'S TOO COWINKY-DINKY THAT SHE SHOWS UP SOMETIME AFTER WE HAVE THE SCHOOL UP?! HE LITTERALLY APPEARED AN EPISODE AFTER THE TWO PARTER?!"
  • Rainbow Dash: "Well if he is a dirty spy, (To Eightball) No Offence, (Back to Pinkie), Ya think he would've already done something by now. The closest he had from E.E.A. trouble was from Neighsay, thrice! The Season 8 debute, the time he got involved with Segrego, and only recently with those clones of Chrysalis'! And we're only worrying about this Hardknocks guy NOW!"
  • Pinkie: "But that's what he WANTS us to think?! What if apawn the school's destruction, he dumps Maud and brokes her heart?!"
  • Applejack: "Look, if your that worried about it, why not discuss this with Maud herself? She's family after all, and if your worried Mudbrair of all ponies is a dirty snake in the grass, then go talk to her about it."
  • Pinkie: "AS A MATTER O'FACT?! I, WILL?! (Zooms off!)....."
  • Rainbow Dash: "..... Maybe some of us should go with Pinkie to make sure she doesn't go over-board?"
  • Twilight: Smart observation. (She teleported away)
  • Eightball:... So, where's Cozy Glow?
  • Fluttershy: She and the other students are asleep for the night. You should probably wait until morning.
  • Eightball: Yeeeah, Cozy likes to stay up pretty late. She has a habit of sneaking about.
  • Applejack: She ain't the kind of filly to just break curfew.
  • Eightball: She broke curfew loads of times. Making trouble kinda runs infamously in the family. You should see her big sister Backgammon. She was QUITE something in her fillyhood. She was about good at anything frankly.
  • Rarity: So is she doing that?
  • Eightball: I've been watching her since she enrolled. But though she manages to hide well, she always comes back.
  • Rainbow Dash: Not really helping her case since the Shell Lodgers claim there's something 'off' about her.
  • Rarity: "Albeit, mostly Shen. He tends to be, over-proactive at having suspitions about folks."
  • Eightball: Yeah, Cozy can be quite mysterious at times. Gets it from my dad's side of the family. He can be abit brooding and hard to read at times too. So, I'd better give my little cousin a visit. Tootles. (Teleports away)
  • Rarity:...... I didn't have any idea Cozy's family was so... Enigmatic.
  • Rainbow Dash: Me neither. But it does explain a few things. Although, Shen is DIFFENTLY gonna give the poor girl shit over this news.

Maud's Cave

  • Maud and Mudbrair arrived.
  • Mudbrair: "So, do you think that the Jewelfish have constructed a makeshift bed for us?"
  • Maud: "Trust me. They already had it ready at this point. They're very good at what they do."
  • Mudbrair: "Well I admit this to be impressive for their stature, though it does prove that with numbers, anything is possab- (Pinkie pounces onto Mudbrair) OOF'A! (Sees a particularly furious Pinkie)..... Tecnecally, I have a feeling that you seem particularly upset at me with something."
  • Pinkie: "WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT YOUR LAST NAME IS O'HARDKNOCKS?!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... Ohhhh dear. Tecnecally, I knew this was gonna be an issue. Look, Miss Pie, I promsie you, he does not have xenophobic tendingices, NOR is capable to be a serious threat beyond anyone but to himself in his frail condition."
  • Pinkie: "IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU NEVER TALKED ABOUT YOUR UNCLE, HIM NOT BEING CANON ASIDE?!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... Tecnecally, I, am actselly very puzzled on what you meant by that."
  • Maud: "(Monotone but sternfully) Pinkie, please calm down and get off of him."
  • Pinkie: Uhh, right. (Chuckles) So... Can you answer me?
  • Mudbriar: Technically, O'Hardknocks is my, for lack of a gender-specific term, maiden name. Uncle O'Hardknocks is on my mom's side. I actselly have my father's last name.
  • Nearby Jewelfish: Uh, shouldn't your last name be that if it's on your mom's side? I mean, Mares are more dominanet in your socity, right?
  • Another Jewelfish: Crys, this is clearly they're business, we're not meant to get involved.
  • Crys:... Oh, right.
  • Pinkie: Well, I won't ask what it actually is and leave that for the canon show should they desided to bring you back for anything other then a camio. But seriously, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US CHANCELLOR O'HARDKNOCKS IS YOUR UNCLE?!
  • Mudbriar: Because you never asked.
  • Pinkie:... I think I can now see why Rainbow Dash thinks manners get annoying sometimes.
  • Mudbair: "Well that, and socially speaking, it tends to be considered socially unbareable to talk about things when not asked too."
  • Pinkie: "Again, I now further understand why Rainbow is NOT a fan of mannors."
  • Maud: Pinkie, he has assured me that his uncle is not capable of taking his blame too far.
  • Pinkie: You may be right, but since what I heard happened to him, I'm worried that could change. The fact that he was gonna get a promotion at the worst time? Not exactly something even I would easily laugh off.
  • Maud: I'm sure you and your friends have faced worse.
  • Pinkie: That's what Rainbow Dash said, but Twilight and that Eightball agent guy for the EEA from our Yakotaur mission said we need to be more serious.
  • Mudbriar: Well, tecnecally.... I have been around Uncle O'Hardknocks even after the disbanding of the EEA. He had moments of going too far, but not far enough to be a problem for Equestria. The worse he ever did, was throwing tantrums and threaten lawsuits that never came, while making Nurse Care Giver have her work cut out in preventing his meltdowns from hurting him with his, "Stress Pills", which are actselly cranium and cardiac stablisers due to his weak heart and sesiure proned mind. My mother's side of the family, were infamous for, Health complications. So glad I take more from dad, geneticly speaking.
  • Pinkie: I'm not sure. With all due respect, I think your uncle may be a party cannon of ruin waiting for the fuse to burn up.
  • Maud: If Mudbriar says he's harmless enough, that's good enough for me. And sister, I feel you, as one who recently accepted him for who he is, should give hope that he may be right.
  • Pinkie: I'm really trying. But... I just feel like O'Hardknocks is going to pull out the cliché of turning you both against me like the potential sociopath as almost typical of the SAF series.
  • Mudbrair: "Again, to relitterate: I still have little understanding what you meant by that."
  • Pinkie: Well, that is to say, I meant, I'm worried your uncle might BARELY be the same pony he his anymore! I don't know if I want to believe he is. I don't know if I can spread happiness again if I lost your trust.
  • Maud: You have lost that will more than once. Recently involving that Yak instrument.
  • Pinkie: Oh... You heard that, huh?
  • Maud: Everypony within a 10-mile radius heard you. Also, you asked me to take your stuff back into the Rock Farm awhile back, then followed by asking me and Limestone to help you retrive your yovidaphone from the dump. Limestone even had to wrestle a sumo-wrestling Garbage Troll for it, remember?
  • Pinkie: "Oh yeah..... Totally tuned that out."
  • Maud: Also, that musical instrument had caused a lot of noise pollution.
  • Pinkie: Huh? Didn't know you could pollute noise.
  • Mudbriar: Technically, it's a premature term for disturbing the peace. Sound isn't capable to be physically polluted like land or water, as suppose that the instrament was more, distruptive of to the peaceful scerenity of the countryside, and/or unused-to pony ears, unfamilier to the sounds of the yovidaphone, which actselly has a cultural signifigence in Yak Culture, which-
  • Pinkie: "Hey, we already have an episode that'll cover that, save it for that!"
  • Maud: Reguardless, it was good that you got the yak intrament back. Even though, it was odd it effected you that badly though. Honestly, it felt like you were cursed. The Pinkie I knew wouldn't give up her cutie mark calling because of the sacrifice of a single and somewhat recent hobby.
  • Pinkie: The bronies said that a lot and considered that the worst episode this season. Though, honestly, even I was confused by that. I know I got sad before, but the last time I was seriously THAT sad was season 1, but, I never effected flowers and clouds LIKE THAT before! I didn't get it either. But, back on topic. I don't know who to trust at this point, so, for the sake of our school and you two, I'll trust both. I... I don't want to lose you two.
  • Maud: You won't. No rotten family member will ruin another family. I am your sister.... (The three hug as Jewelfish awed) Besides. You handled Neighsay well enough. Saw Mudbrair's uncle is that bad, how much worse can he be?
  • Pinkie: "Oh, your right. He's hardly even a threat to a fly in his condition. I'm surprised he's not already at the hospital from the train ride alone since I heard that he didn't had fun there."
  • Mudbrair: "Well, tecnecally, that's what Nurse Care Giver was for. She's pretty much a nurse provided by the O'Hardknocks' family's insurence. Mother has been, concerned for his health. He, also wasn't too excited for the cavern, so he went to the Bedtime & Sunny-Side Up Inn."
  • Pinkie: "Yeesh, how picky can you get! He wasn't too mean on Smiles and Raven, was he?"
  • Mudbriar: We already took care of it.
  • Pinkie: Well, good. We need to show him we're not bad ponies. We could attract bad attention if we mess this up.
  • Mudbrair: "Or at least, more then already, since it's likely Neighsay is far from an exception as it would be possable that some other members may have issues to-"
  • Pinkie: "Well I meant that getting his approvel would reduse any likely trouble from E.E.A. members not already as bad as Neighsay!"
  • Maud: "Don't worry Pinkie, we're confident the worse he would be, is being a grouch."
  • Pinkie: (Takes deep breath cartoonishly like a balloon)... I REEEEEEALLY hope it stays that way.

Cozy Glow's Room

  • Cozy was seen sleeping, until the artifact activated.
  • ???: So, how is O'Hardknocks doing?
  • Cozy Glow: (Gets a rude awakening) Ughhh, not this soon! (Yawns), Old fart made a rough impression. That should be a start. Nothing yet on what he was going for though.
  • ???: What?! You're sleepy at this time? Usually that's not the case after all we did together!
  • Cozy Glow: There's always a first time for every thing in this school! The School of Friendship is synchronizing me into a regular sleep schedule. I can't do that sneaky stuff with a curfew on my head. And trust me, that Igmar Iguana and the New School Nurse's pet Familier Light Magic Snake thing are keeping watch. The teachers will know if I'm doing something! So, basicly, no more night missions! Besides, I, can kinda get behind getting ACTUAL sleep. Makes me less of a c**t at you.... Well, at least it should've till you woke me up, sleep wrecker!
  • ???: BLAST?! You barely been at the school for only a few months and ALREADY it is about to tear us apart?! I WILL HAVE TO ABORT MISSION AND-
  • Cozy Glow: Oh calm your tits, will ya?! That's not true. It's just what the school teaches. To be more friendly and responsible. They also want us to be more well-rested to discourage daydreaming. They may want us to be friends to people who need it, but they're not slave drivers. And, I kinda have to respect them for it. They're way nicer then the orphanage in Brokehorse."
  • ???: Cozy, you can't be telling me you're Stockholming yourself?! You know-
  • Cozy Glow: Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get the usual "I hate Twilight Sparkle" Spew you regurgitate and that you think the school's trying to control me?! I, f*****g, get it?! No need to throw a damn fit about it?! Just, it's just, there are other things to do here. I'm sorry if I'm not taking this seriously. I've been at hard work doing what you asked me! I have been eying the friendship archives and will secure them for you the moment I figure out what the f*** Old Man Hardknocks is gunning for here!
  • ???: WELL WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING NOW AND NOT-
  • Cozy Glow: (Quietly) WILL YOU ZIP IT?! NOT EXACTLY A LOT OF HEAVY SLEEPERS IN THIS SCHOOL?! (Semi-Quiet voice) Besides, I can't risk adding more suspition onto me! Not many suspect me anyway, minus that paranoid peacock.
  • ???: Just don't forget the mission. That stuff I learned about you, is way too valuable to our damaged family honor. All our prodigal family suffered. My stolen honor, and the shame brought from Great Uncle University. It's tearing us apart. You better figure out what that fragile old windbag's planning for Perplexity, or she can't promise to really help us! Please, don't disappoint me, little sister.
  • Cozy Glow:... (Sighs)..... I won't.
  • ???: Good girl. I love you. Bye. (The Artifact deactivates).....
  • Cozy Glow: (Sighs annoyed).... (Quietly) You love yourself and your dumb ambitions a bit more, you condesending- (A flash was heard as Cozy yelped when Eightball teleported in)
  • Eightball: Hey, cous. I heard you talking to your sister.
  • Cozy Glow: Eight?! What're you doing here?! I thought you were busy throwing your life away at Las Pegasus Games?!
  • Eightball: "Thank your uncle Wellplay for getting me into Gamblers Annonymus. He, wanted me to try and NOT do that AS often.... So, what did Backy want?"
  • Cozy Glow:... (Sighs). She, just wanted to check up on me.
  • Eightball: Well, you know that O'Hardknocks is coming, right?
  • Cozy Glow: Twilight told us. Said we need to be professional to help heal bad baggage with the EEA.
  • Eightball: "Well I trust you know how impourent that is. University claims that O'Hardknocks has secret plans to try and establish his own Friendship School if Twilight fails to impress."
  • Cozy Glow made a surprised face.....
  • Cozy Glow: "..... (Intriged) Go on."
  • Eightball: "Well, University believes it to mostly be a rumor from some old friends, so, it's nothing offictal as he didn't bother telling that to the Princess, but the rumor was why O'Hardknocks was brought here by Mr. University. He was hoping that a good day in the school would discourage him in throey."
  • Cozy Glow:... Well that's... Interesting. So, Twilight doesn't know?
  • Eightball: University figured it was best to not tell her everything yet, kinda what I meant by Princess, unless you thought I meant Celestia, cause, the E.E.A. is kinda more of a Twilight issue.
  • Cozy Glow:... Well, this sure changes everything. I... I'll see what I can do to help tomorrow.
  • Eightball: Alright. Good to see you again, Coz. Nighty-Night. (Teleports away)
  • Cozy Glow:...... (Calls her sister) Sis! I just found out everything!

French Narrator: The Next Morning...

  • The Crusaders were seen setting up a stunt ramp as an excitable Cutie Mark Camper was seen hoping with joy!
  • Camper: "YOU CRUSADERS ARE AWESOME?! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH BECOMING LIKE MY FAMILY?!"
  • Sweetie Belle: "It's really no problem, Stunty Daredevil Jr. We, were kinda used to do crazy stunts all the time back when we tried to get our own cutie marks, and/or do them for fun when we're not at Camp Crusade or a Mane 7/Louger Adventure."
  • Stunty Daredevil Jr.: "I CAN'T THANK YOU COOL FILLIES ENOUGH?! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MY CUTIE MARK?! OH!? EVEN BETTER?! I MIGHT BREAK MY BONES?!"
  • Scootaloo: "Uhhh, maybe save that part for WHEN your older and can handle it, buddy. Even if your from a family of Daredevils, they don't want you start the family business of getting wrecked TOO early."
  • Applebloom: "Also, that could risk a lawsuit..... And child services to get involved."
  • Diamond Tiara: "Though I'm surprised daredevils were allowed to have kids to begin with."
  • Silver Spoon: "Yeah, ya think that Child Services would deem Daredevils bad enfluences for kids, and/or constint risks of child endangerment."
  • Applebloom: Well, you wouldn't believe how much 'paperwork' we had to pull to get this camp running. Growing up is really hard.
  • Diamond Tiara: You get used to it. So, girls, dad said that unfortunately, your plan to invite other creatures that can get cutie marks into the camp, can't be allowed.
  • CMC: WHAT?!?
  • Sweetie Belle: But why? Our positions as friendship tutors have given us enough bits to improve the camp. Finding out that other creatures can get cutie marks is, a way to help our sisters spread friendship. Impure Perytons, Impure Hippogriffs, Bicorns, Merponies, Impure Hippale-... Hippanica... Ugh, why are these races' names so hard to pronounce? They surely have blank flank problems.
  • Diamond Tiara: Dad says that an EEA representative is in Ponyville. Thus until his evaluation of the school is done, they can't allow an unauthorized racial change like this.
  • Scootaloo: "And since when does the E.E.A. have athority over camps?"
  • Silver Spoon: "Tecnecally no, but, Mr. Rich probuly felt it isn't a good idea to give the Representive the wrong idea that the School is giving Young Ponies ideas. Espeically not this one. My daddy said that he arrived to Ponyville Yesterday throwing a fit bad enough that he looked like he was gonna blow up epicly!"
  • Diamond Tiara: "Basicly, it's been implied that this guy, is VERY easy to upset! Daddy reckindises this, along with that he's from a powerful family of brainiac ponies, so, for the time being, that plan of yours, is (Gives a small raspberry)...."
  • The CMC groaned in aggravation!
  • Applebloom: "Alchourse nothing goes right because of them dumb old E.E.A. folks."
  • Sweetie Belle: "I know Rarity tries to tell me not all of them are trying to be mean, but so far, this E.E.A. guy is REALLY a big fat pile of inconvinence!"
  • Scootaloo: Can't those big babies just get over it?!? Twilight's school won fair and sqaure!
  • Silver Spoon: That's exactly what I said!
  • Diamond Tiara: Well BEING big babies ourselves won't help.
  • Applebloom: "Your right Diamond. We need to check up this guy for ourselves."
  • Stunty: "Uh, after you help me with finding my cutie mark, right?"
  • Sweetie Belle: ".... As soon as we help Stunty with his Cutie Mark first, that is."

A typical Cutie Mark Crusader Later.

  • The five arrive at Bedtime & Sunny Side Up Inn.
  • Diamond Tiara: "This is pretty much the place where that O'Hardknocks' pony is residing."
  • Scootaloo: "You once said that he wasn't very happy with the train ride, right? Why is that?"
  • Silver Spoon: "My dad said it's because the E.E.A. have alot of luxerious powers and benefits."
  • Sweetie Belle: "No duh. They were stationed in Canterlot, after all."
  • Diamond Tiara: "Oh, trust me. Mom said that they had luxeries that even makes Fnacy Pants jealious. They have private flight chariots filled with Servent Sprites that make them exotic food, give them back massages, hooficures, pretty much everything servents typically do, but better."
  • Applebloom: "Wait, but I thought the E.E.A. hated other races, why do they have Servent Sprites?"
  • Silver Spoon: "Yeah, try not to get confused with what happened with Neighsay. He was just a case where they took the outdated beliefs were taken too seriously, but it was their own fault they didn't caught up with the times and made changes because they got too content that schools took them seriously. Also, the Servent Sprites were different. They're pretty much are like pets, that take care of you."
  • Sweetie Belle: "Well that's abit of a double standerd. They don't like non-pony creatures get involved with schools or camps, but they have no problem with them being servents?"
  • Diamond Tiara: "That's because all Servent Sprites think about, is to serve. Watch. TIDDY SPRIKLES?!"
  • A Tiny Butler Dressed Servent Sprite Appeared.
  • Servent Sprite: "M'yes, Miss Tiara?"
  • Diamond Tiara: "I want you to fetch me the most tastiest chocolate bar, from that Alternate United Universes, Some Burger King from Kratos, A Pizza from Futureasia, Ice Cream from Gobstopper, A Pita from Disney Greese, and I want it all ready by the time I get back home, Sprinkles."
  • Tiddy Sprinkles: "Yes Miss Tiara. (Poofs)."
  • Scootaloo: "...... Tiddy Sprinkles?"
  • Diamond Tiara: "Don't ask."
  • Applebloom: ".... Well, let's go confront him."
  • Diamond Tiara: "I have to stop you there. Daddy said that O'Hardknocks isn't particulaly fond of foals."
  • Sweetie Belle: "Ugh! There's no adult worse then one that hates kids!"
  • Scootaloo: "Well, pedophiles are worse then kid haters. At least kid haters want nothing to do with kids!"
  • Applebloom: "..... You hang out with Rainbow Dash too much, espeically when you keep learning adult stuff from her."
  • Mudbrair shows up.
  • Mudbrair: "Pardon me, Young ones. I'm here to see someone."
  • Applebloom: "Oh. Your Mudbrair, right? Pinkie Pie is a friend of our sisters."
  • Scootaloo: "And Rainbow Dash."
  • Mudbrair: "Well, tecnecally, I had heard about your misadventures from Maud. She said you were indeed eventful little scamps."
  • Sweetie Belle: "Well, they may've not said those exact words, but yeah, (Laughs nerviously), There was, never a boring day with us."
  • Scootaloo: "Except when it does get boring."
  • Applebloom: We just want to talk with Chancellor O'Hardknocks regarding a-
  • Maud: (Shows up) Are you aiming to invite other creatures that can get cutie marks into your camp? (The fillies were confused) Intuition, as well as the fact that I found some geode arches somewhere around your camp. Your camp is built around an area of sedimentary bedrock buried underneath what was once the sight of a plume during the Second Windigo Ice Age, which layered the ground and filling the vesicles in the volcanic material with mineral deposits from hydrothermal fluids like water from snow rich in minerals from deep within the earth. Some got big and thus underneath are not only still preserved in aquifers formed by weathering caused by leaking acidic minerals, but also emerge from the ground due to the pressure applied from the series of geodes, many of which crack from said pressure including the arch I have been studying.
  • Scootaloo:... I have NO idea what that means!
  • Applebloom: Have you considered being a narrator for a geological documentary?
  • Maud: I've done it 19 times. It's grown on me. Basically, your camp is standing over an underground collection of these. (Shows a geode similar to the one Limestone showed Pinkie)
  • Scootaloo: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?
  • Sweetie Belle: BIGGER VERSIONS OF THOSE ARE UNDERNEATH OUR CAMP?!?
  • Applebloom: We should check this out some time. But, uh, back on topic. Can we talk to O'Hardknocks?
  • Mudbriar: Young ones, he is not interested in that right now. He is getting ready for his evaluation. You simply must wait.
  • Scootaloo: It's only for a second.
  • Mudbriar: You technically cannot do what you want with him in a second.
  • Applebloom:... What kind of completely literal place did you find him?
  • Maud: We met at a gem tree. The largest one in Equestria to be exact. 1,000 years old.
  • Sweetie Belle: We're saying that talking to him won't take long.
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, that's the issue. Uncle, has not fondness for the youth."
  • Applebloom: "Yeah, Tiara already said that he hates kids, and we get that, but we promise we won't be annoying to him and-"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, he's very easily annoyed, just from interacting with him. He, has rather inferior social skills because of a very poor childhood of never interacting with ponies fully his entire life. Even as a toddler, he only finds piece in learning, working hard, and making something of himself."
  • Applebloom: ".... He, never had a proper childhood?"
  • Mudbrair: "Tragicly, yes. The O'Hardknocks family unit were all about knowledge. Hence why they're prodominant leaders in education and science groups."
  • Scootaloo: "...... NO F*****G WONDER HE'S MISERABLE?! HIS LIFE, SUCKS?!"
  • Mudbrair: "..... Metathoricly speaking, you may need to apply some soap into that mouth."
  • Silver Spoon: "..... That's, the weirdest way, to say that "Somepony oughta wash your mouth with soap", ever."
  • Applebloom: Ugh, vulgar language aside-
  • Mudbriar: Sorry, little ones. You must set this one out. O'Hardknocks cannot be bothered at this time. Be patient and do something special for the camp, if you can.
  • Applebloom:... (Sighs) Got nothin' else to do. Girls? Who wants to go looking for gem egg things?
  • CMC: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SPELUNKERS!!! (They high-hoofed each other and left)
  • Mudbriar:... Will they be okay?
  • Maud: This is their thing, so let's let them do it.
  • ???: UGH, THE SERVICE HERE!!!!!
  • Mudbriar: (Sighs)
  • Maud: (Monotone) Oh no, not again.

Inside Inn.

  • Nurse Care Giver: "Oh calm down sir, to be fair, it is an inn in Ponyville, a not exactly, Canterlotian like place. So alchourse they would serve things like a cute smilely face pancake, it's not like The 5 Realms of Paradise Hotel in Haywaii."
  • O'Hardknocks: "BUT THE INDIGNITY OF IT?! THEY COULD'VE JUST AS LEAST GAVE ME A NORMAL PANCAKE?!"
  • Smiles was seen crying as Raven was comferting her while giving a cold emo stare to O'Hardknocks.
  • Raven: "Ya know asshole, Smiles puts her HEART and SOUL into those pancakes."
  • O'Hardknocks: "WELL PARDON ME FOR PREFERING FOOD THAT DOESN'T STARE BACK WITH SOULESS STRAWBERRY EYES?! NEVER MIND SMILES?!"
  • Raven: "(Angerly) Ya know scumbag, if Smiles wasn't such a forgiving pony and would've held me back, I WOULD SO BLACKLIST YOUR ASS AND BAN YOU FROM THIS INN?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well you DON'T call the shots here, do you, young miss? May this teach your girlfriend a lesson about proper pancake etiquette!"
  • Raven: "WHA?! DUDE?! SHE'S MY SISTER?!"
  • Silence......
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... But, she's rediculiously cheerful, and, well your just some eye shadow away of being mistakeable for having vampirisum!"
  • Raven: "...... Adopted, sisters."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Okay, THAT makes abit more sense."
  • Raven: "OKAY, WHEN IS YOUR SMARTASS NEFPEW IS GONNA PICK YOU UP AND GET YOU OUT HERE ALREADY?! DON'T YOU HAVE A SCHOOL TO VISIT OR SOMETHING?!"
  • Nurse Care Giver: "Calm down Madam, calm down. Mr. O'Hardknocks, how's about you go outside, I'll pay the nice ponies for their service and pay extra as an apology payment.... And ask if I can take the pancakes with us."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Ugh, go do what you want. I need fresh air anyway. (Leaves annoyed as Mudbriar met him)... What're you looking at?"
  • Mudbriar: I am looking at you in the front-
  • O'Hardknocks: Oh my Gods, learn rhetoric, will you? I have a job to do here.
  • Mudbriar: Not until you curve that anger. What you did in there was very mean and very insensitive. Nocreature in the school wants to meet you like that. You must be presentable.
  • O'Hardknocks: I'll show up to that school however I like!
  • Mudbriar: Uncle O'Hardknocks! (With a similar blank stare as Maud's in 'Gift of the Maud') You need, to lay, down!
  • O'Hardknocks:... Uhhhh, what the Tartarus are you doing, young colt?
  • Mudbriar: I, am 26.
  • O'Hardknocks: And I am 51! Get out of my way!
  • Mudbriar: Uncle, I don't want to hurt you, but I can have Care Giver tranquilize you until you're ready.
  • O'Hardknocks: MOVE, NOW!!!!!
  • Mudbriar: I am not letting you go to the school with that attitude.
  • O'Hardknocks: (Growls, making a twig snap gesture until Mudbriar points at Maud)
  • Maud:... You snap me?
  • O'Hardknocks: UGH, FINE!!! If it'll get your delinquent ass off mine!
  • Maud: There are kids here. I taught you well, Mud. Let's get some ice cream and head back to the Cave. That will cool down your uncle. (She walks away)
  • O'Hardknocks:...... We need to have a serious conversation when we get to that cave, boy!
  • Nurse Care Giver: Oh boy!

Underneath CMC Camp

  • Sweetie Belle: (The campers and the CMC were traveling through underground caves filled with beautiful geodes)... Wow! Rarity would love it here.
  • Rumble: And you three had no idea this was here?!
  • Scootaloo: Apparently not.
  • Pipsqueak: This is an amazing discovery.
  • Stunty: Amazing?! That's an understatement.
  • Applebloom: Well y'all, when we get our new non-pony classmates with us, this could be a good choice of an activity.
  • ???: Oh, isn't that adorable? Filly travelers. (A turtle-crab creature with multiple diamond compound eyes appeared)...
  • Filly #1: What in Equestria is that?
  • Filly #2: I believe that's called a fire crab. I believe they shoot hot flames out of their claws, well... At you.
  • Filly #3: You said 'I believe' twice. Epic vocabulary fail.
  • Applebloom: Well in that case, we should stay back and walk away slowly.
  • Fire Crab: Take it easy kids, I'm no threat. Actually I'm one of the unfortunate victims of the Geo Stone. We do have a fighting caste. I just got lost. Ugh, sometimes I hate being stuck a subterranean beast.
  • Scootaloo: You mean the Geo Stone that Maud dealt with? Oh, thank Celestia.
  • Fire Crab: Oh trust, I should know. Fire crabs aren't exactly native here anyway. They're from Draconia in dragon territory. Good seafood for them. (Shivers)..... So lucky there ain't dragons for miles in pony terratory.
  • Pipsqueak: Would you, uh, care to introduce yourself, Mr....
  • Fire Crab: I'm Gem-Eye. Just one of the rookie scouts. And you kiddies can clearly see how well my first day turned out. The untamed underground is so, inhospitable. Do you even KNOW what other kind of subterranean insectivores live down here? Changeling pox! That stuff makes your skin peel like a bug's mold! (Dubbed as Thunderbolt) And BLOODWYRMS! I HATE bloodwyrms!! (In the kids' faces) They SUCK all the blood outta ya, do you hear me?! (Crazily) THEEEY SUCK AAAAAAAAALL THE BLOOOD OUT OF YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!...... Wow, not even a day, and already I'm crazy!
  • Applebloom: (Scared) W-w-w-w-well, they're ARE bloodwyrms. That's, kinda their point of existence.
  • Scootaloo: And, you're scaring us.
  • Gem-Eye: Well, you kids are right to be scared. Kinda helps for this avatar of mine.
  • Applebloom: Well... We can help you find your way back. Right, everypony? (They cheer) We can just take ya' to Maud's cave home.
  • Gem-Eye: Ohhhh, that passage is partially flooded. You kids don't seem to have the lung capacity to help with that.
  • Scootaloo: Oh, really? (The CMC display their seapony forms)...
  • Gem-Eye:... And those kids- (They showed him snorkels and goggles)... You kids seem like a wild bunch. Though I should probuly make ya kids aware that there is a troublesome beast that is native here, and that's- (A screech was heard)..... REAPER BATS?!
  • A series of bats with wings in the shape of sythes began to fly this way screeching wildly!
  • Gem-Eye: "THOSE THINGS ARE EVEN WORSE BLOOD SUCKERS?! AND WITH WINGS AS SHARP AS THE GLOOM REAPER'S SYTHE?!"
  • Rumble: "Kinda a safe bet why other ponies never claim these jewels!"
  • Pipsqueak: WHAT DO WE DO?!?
  • Gem-Eye: Let me deal with this! (Blasts his fire claws and bursts fire from a scorpion-like stinger abdomen that shooed off much of the Reaper Bats)
  • Filly #1: (Laughs and snorts) He's farting fire.
  • Gem-Eye: Back, you savage animals!!!!! I'm packing literal heat!!!!
  • Stunty: I HAVE AN IDEA!!!
  • Applebloom: Stunty, this ain't the kind of time to- (Stunty threw a rock at some Reaper Bats and ran from them)
  • Stunty: GO!
  • Gem-Eye: KID, WHAT IS THIS YOU'RE DOING?!
  • Stunty: JUST DO IT!!!! (They did that as Stunty managed to diverge the Reaper Bats to a geode trap that got them stuck as Stunt blocked their path with a cave-in)...... Good news is we lost those cave rats with wings.
  • Filly #4: Not a good metaphor.
  • Stunty: Bad news, can't go back the way we came. But on the bright side, we can help get this big guy back home and ask Maud in her cave to take us back to the surface.
  • Gem-Eye: Buuut on the dark side, there's worse in this cave. Reaper Bats and bloodwyrms aren't the worse. (They went across the scenic geode caverns and approached a flooded tunnel) NOW we're in familiar territory.
  • Pipsqueak: And good. I'm starting to get tired.
  • Rumble: Heck yeah. We had to skip lunch.
  • Applebloom: Well when we get back to the surface, a lunch party with desserts from Diamond Tiara are on me.
  • Filly #5: Kinda inconsistent to say it's on you when Diamond's paying for it.
  • Applebloom: Ugh, whatever, we'll figure out how to pay for it soon. Let's dive. (The CMC dove underwater with their seapony forms while Gem-Eye crawls under and the fillies got their snorkels on as they swim through a cathedral of geodes)
  • CMC: Woooooooowwwww!!!!
  • Gem-Eye: Eh, our people have seen better. (Monstrous shrieks were heard)...
  • Scootaloo:... What was that?
  • Gem-Eye: I don't know, but it obviously doesn't sound friendly.
  • Filly #2: (Worried, she muffles)
  • CMC: What?
  • Filly #2: (Muffles)
  • Gem-Eye: Aye-aye-aye, kid, don't waste your breath.
  • Filly #2: (Groans and takes off her snorkel, gurgling) IT'S THE SHRIEK OF A QALUPALIK!!!!
  • CMC:... What? (The shrieks got louder as seapony-like black-maned, blobfish-like and pupilless monster-eyed creatures were seen)
  • Gem-Eye: Qalupaliks? Ugh, those things give me the creeps.
  • Scootaloo: The heckapus is a Qalupalik?!
  • Gem-Eye: "Obviously the abominable equine-eqsed horrorshows behind us!"
  • Scootaloo: I mean what do they do?!
  • Gem-Eye: Ask any smarties in your life, because there's no time! COME ON!! (The CMCs helped the students swim faster to avoid the Qalupaliks as they were cornered in every turn as some of the kids were struggling to breath as one of the Qalupaliks took Pipsqueak and tore off his snorkel as he started drowning)
  • Applebloom: PIP!!!
  • Stunty: (He crushed the Qalupalik with rocks and gave Pipsqueak his snorkel)
  • Gem-Eye: Next time you won't be so lucky. These beasts will do anything to devour children that wander off.
  • Applebloom: Well they ain't getting us! (She slaps a Qalupalik with her seapony tail)
  • Stunty: (Swims in an unnoticed spot, and takes off his snorkel, gurgling) HELP, I'M DROWNING!!!! PLEASE SAVE ME BEFORE THE QALUPASOMETHINGS FINISH IT!!! (The Qalupaliks attacked him)
  • Sweetie Belle: STUNTY, I THINK YOU'RE TAKING DAREDEVILING WAY TOO SERIOUSLY!!!!
  • Stunty: (He manages to swim out of the way of the Qalupaliks that hit the wall, trapping them all underneath rocks, as Stunty finally tugged in air deprivation and got his snorkel back on)
  • Scootaloo:... Stunty, you really need to be careful. (He suddenly gains his cutie mark, which is a hoop of fire with a heart in it, as he gurgles in joy)
  • Gem-Eye: Well, I'll be dipped.
  • Applebloom:...... Well I guess that's another victory for the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I guess?
  • ???: GODDAMMIT, GEM-EYE!!! (More fire crabs came in) There you are! We thought you got lost. The Cathedral Caves are closed down because some Qalupaliks managed to get here from Bushwoolia. Those beasts are not good for kids to be around, and-... (Sees the fillies)... Who the hell are these?
  • Gem-Eye: Easy, sir! They're just some cute fillies that helped me find my way back.
  • Applebloom: Hey, sir.
  • Fire Crab: Call me General Diamondback.
  • Gem-Eye: Kids, be weary on my boss. He didn't get his position as general for nothing.
  • Scootaloo: Well he can't actually burn us underwater.
  • Fire Crab #2: We DO have other weapons, you know.
  • Diamondback: Well you kids were lucky enough to survive down here. Not many kids have that kind of luck around Qalupaliks. Everycreature just shrugs them off as a manipulative scare story, WHEN THIS LAND IS A STORY!!! I swear, the only reason these creepers are alive is because kids these days are so stupid. No offense.
  • Applebloom: Some taken.
  • Diamondback:... So, what are you fillies even doing down here, anyway?
  • Gem-Eye: They were just spelunking in the nearby geode caverns until Reaper Bats got them lost.
  • Fire Crab #3: OHHHHHH, you're the Cutie Mark Campers, aren't you? Maud told us about you when she was looking at the Geode Caverns.
  • Fire Crab #4: Maud really knows how to navigate and map the underground. These Cathedral Caves were once a church for Sea Changelings.
  • Sweetie Belle: The Sea Changelings? Like, the ones from Eqlauntica?
  • Fire Crab #1: Well, yes, there's some in Equantican territory, but they do own their own terratory. The Sea Verity got along with the Sea and Merponies better then their cousins on land thanks to a more stable rulership then the Land Changelings. As your likely to guess, they're kinda like Land Changelings, but more akin to crustaceans than bugs. Can't fly, but they CAN shapeshift-
  • Diamondback: SOLDIERS! Just do your jobs, and quarantine and/or deport the Qalupaliks.
  • Fire Crab #1: Yes sir! (The Qalupaliks shrieked until the Fire Crabs pinched their mouths comically)
  • Gem-Eye: So anyway, since they can't go back the way they came, we're... Hoping to bring them to Maud's cave so we can bring them back to the surface.
  • Diamondback: I see. Then allow me to escort them.
  • Gem-Eye: Then take me with them. They could use a proper goodbye for helping me and me helping them.
  • Diamondback: Very well. Come with me. (They followed him)

Maud's Cave Home

  • Applebloom: (They surfaced) Well, we did it.
  • Scootaloo: We are awesome.
  • Gem-Eye: Thanks, girls.
  • Scootaloo: No, thank you. (The other fillies surfaced)
  • Gem-Eye: I've convinced General Diamondback to have me watch over you guys in case this craziness happens again.
  • Rumble: Smart move. I can't take being lost underground with all that pestilence under there. I thought I was going to get crazy with the low oxygen down there, never mind being underwater.
  • Filly #5: Be happy we survived.
  • Applebloom: Well we kinda always do. That's what our camp's all about. Doing even the most dangerous things to help ponies with their cutie marks.
  • Gem-Eye: Brave young souls.... Well, I should head back on home.... What are you kids going to do until Maud gets here?
  • Scootaloo: We're kids. We can make the best out of any situation. (The kids began playing in the water) See? (One filly swims gracefully and ends up falling in love with another that has difficulty and she ends up earning her cutie mark, three bubbles with hearts in them)... And yet another victory for us. It's like we can give them their cutie marks without even trying.
  • Gem-Eye:... If you say so. See you again soon. Bye. (He crawls away)
  • Applebloom: Well this was a good mission to wait for the evaluation to end. And we got two cutie mark marks. (The three high-hoofed until hoof steps were heard) Here she comes.
  • (???): ENOUGH!!! MUDBRIAR, YOUR TIME WITH THAT ROCKTOLOGIST HAS MADE YOU SOFT!!!
  • (Mudbriar): I'm sorry, Uncle O'Hardknocks, I can't live this kind of lie. Love is not the right position of lying.
  • Stunty: Doooooes, anypony feel like we should-
  • Applebloom: HIDE! (The three dunked the fillies underwater while they watch O'Hardknocks and Mudbriar's conversation)
  • O'Hardknocks: Well she's going to be here soon, and we can't afford anymore distractions. We need to talk about your relationship with her and how it's affecting our plan.
  • Sweetie Belle: Plan? (The other two shushed her as the other kids had puffed cheeks trying to breath through their snorkels quietly, Stunty not doing it at all as Rumble bubble sighs)
  • Mubrair: "Look, Uncle, tecnecally, I know you asked me to only be with Maud Pie as a means to get closer to the school because she happens to be a sister of one of the teachers, but, funny thing, when I was expecting her to be as random and spastic as Pinkie is, she turned out to be, her own pony, albeit because of an extremely rare mental disability that somehow prevents emotion. She turned out to be the only pony that understands what it's like to be an impromptu outcast for being overtly intellectual in an emotion driven society. I end up showing genuine feelings that, technically, I inadvertently undermined your plans to ask questions about that Friendship School so you would have the basis of making a pony-only friendship school to basicly jumpstart an attempt to make the old E.E.A. look good again."
  • O'Hardknock: "..... UGH! That is why I view you as "That Weird Nefpew"! BECAUSE YOU'RE WEIRD?! I, I HAVE NO UTTER UNDERSTANDING OF YOU?! I asked you to dig up infomation I can use, secrets of that school I can use for my own university, maybe even dig up some scandelious revelivent infomation that can ruin the school, EVEN SO MUCH AS TWILIGHT BEING LEWD?! ANYTHING?! But you ended up being IN LOVED WITH A HERMIT ROCKTOLIGIST?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SPY ON HER IDIOT PINK SISTER, DAMN IT?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally, Pinkie isn't one of inferior intelligence, as her hyper-activity simply makes her fail to pay attention 50% of the time-"
  • O'Hardknocks: "SPARE ME THAT STUPID TECNECALITY?! IF IT LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT, ACTS LIKE AN IDIOT, AND SOUNDS LIKE AN IDIOT, IT'S AN IDIOT?! WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS, WHY HAVEN'T YOU CAPITALISED ON BEING CLOSE TO A RELITIVE OF A TEACHER OF THE FRIENDSHIP SCHOOL?!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... Well.... If I'm being honest.... It's not that speical."
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT THAT SPECIAL?! IT'S A SCHOOL, THAT TEACHES, FRIENDSHIP?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Well, one, the name alone sounds like it was meant to be from a younger children's show programme. Two, well, ponies already understand that it's meant to bring Equestria togather with other lands. 3rd, quite simply, Maud maintained my interests better than the school did. And 4th, tecnecally, you failed to consider that I lived a bachuler life prior to meeting Maud."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... I, did not, painstackingly took time out of my shedgule, making her idiot former classmates tell me infomation of where Maud was going for you to meet her there by that gem tree, JUST SO YOU CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND?! IT WAS SO I CAN MAKE A BETTER FREINDSHIP SCHOOL TO PUT SPARKLE'S OUT OF BUSINESS, YOU BLITTERING BOOB?!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... Boobs can't bliter. And the more prefered uncrude term is breast, of which-"
  • O'Hardknocks: "WILL YOU STOP TAKING WHAT PEOPLE SAY LITERALLY, YOU STICK LOVING SLOB?! YOU, ARE GOING TO TAKE ME TO THAT TOUR, AND YOUR GOING TO HELP ME, SECURE THE INFOMATION THAT I WANT, TO FINALLY MAKE MY OWN SCHOOL, OR SO HELP ME, (Takes Twiggy away from Mudbrair), I'M BREAKING YOUR STUPID TWIG?!" (The fillies gasped)
  • Mudbrair: "(Some panic) I, would kindly like to ask to not hurt Twiggy! He's basicly my security mechinisum like how Blouder is to Maud."
  • O'Hardknocks: "THEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... If by that, you mean if I'm willing to start doing what you want of me and focus primarly on the Friendship School, then tecnecally, yes, but, only if you agree to not hurt Twiggy."
  • O'Hardknocks: "AW COME ON, YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THE STUPID STICK HAS NO FEELINGS?!"
  • Mudbrair: "True, but, remember what mother told you about what happened to Rosco when my bullies..... Used him to break a piñata..... Rosco broke in the process. I became sensitive to Stick abuse ever since."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... Ugh. You really are the weird nefpew. But, I'm glad to FINALLY inspire obedience in you, you worthless slouth! Here's your stupid stick back. (Tosses Twiggy back at him as Mudbrair nerviously catches).... Now, when we get to the School, remember what we agreed...."
  • Mudbrair: "Ask a lot of Questions about the School?"
  • O'Hardknocks: That's my nephew.
  • Mudbriar: But, what if they get suspicious? Asking specific questions will bring that.
  • O'Hardknocks: Just figure it out. There has to be SOMECREATURE that knows much about the school. Try asking University's grand nephew Cozy. Everycreature there finds something, off, about her. Even one of the Lougers seems rather paranoid of that lowly brat. (Sweetie Belle growled like a little dog as Scootaloo and Applebloom kept her quiet).
  • Mudbriar: It should be no problem, then.
  • O'Hardknocks: (Hearing Maud come in)... Good. Don't disappoint me. (Maud came with the ice cream)
  • Maud: The ice cream shop owner has a unique magic spell to keep the ice cream frozen for a long time even around summer. What did I miss?
  • Mudbriar:... Just, managed to cool him slightly down. The ice cream should finish the job.
  • Applebloom: (As they enjoyed their ice cream, the fillies got worried)... I don't think we can get back to the surface through here now.
  • Scootaloo: Yeah. If we ask her, this might get to Mudbriar and they'll suspect we heard that conversation! Oh, Gods, their relationship is screwed!!
  • Sweetie Belle: Then... How are we going to get to the surface?... (All the fillies looked at one specific unicorn filly)
  • Filly #6: Hmm?
  • Applebloom: Prism Horn, of course! Prism, you need to teleport. I know you've been working on it.
  • Prism: Mmmmmmmm... (Muffles in disagreement)
  • Applebloom: Just try. You're the most magical of us. I know you can do it.
  • Prism: Mmm... (Bubbles escape her nose)...
  • Scootaloo: Prism, we can't go with Maud now. We've got to warn somecreature.
  • Sweetie Belle: But... We may want to do it in a place less... (They saw all the reflective gems in the area)... Likely to give us away.
  • ???: That can be arranged. (Topaz and Ruby came in)
  • Duke Topaz: "We kinda overheard what O'Hardknocks wants, albeit, unintentionally because, well, this cavern isn't exactly, private. We'd warn Maud ourselves, but...."
  • Squire Ruby: "One, that would risk their relationship. Two.... That O'Hardknocks guy scares us. (Quietly) He might step on us."
  • Duke Topaz: "We, also figured that he looked concerning when he did nothing but complain about this paradise of a cavern.... Well, him being used to live in buildings aside."
  • Squire Ruby: "We know a lot of less reflective places.... Though, alot of them mostly only fit us. But we know five less flashy places big enough for ponies to enter. You already came from entry number 5."
  • Duke Topaz: "So, there's only 4 entires since you likely don't want to deal with those pesty Reaper Bats again. Entry 1 is the shortist, but filled with Stilag-Mites and Spid-Lactites, basicly, giant mites and spiders with stalactites and stalagmites formations on their backs, like a hermit crab, among the identical mimic Stalag Crabs. Entry 2 is the second shortist, but, not very, clean, just so any germa-phobes or cleaniness obcessers are aware. Entry 3 is average-lentgh, but it's infested with Cementapedes. The 4th is the longest entry, and only has an overly friendly subterrian sea creature that lives in an underground water resrevoir."
  • Pipsqueak: Mmmm-hmmm!!!
  • Sweetie Belle:... I think Pip's trying to say that we'll take our chances with four.
  • Squire Ruby: "No duh."
  • Duke Topaz: "Be warned that Stanly is, VERY desperate for compainionship ever since his girlfriend Jasminia left him when it wasn't working out."
  • Sweetie Belle: "Is it REALLY that bad?"
  • Squire Ruby: "..... He cries himself to sleep every night, and sometimes, they get loud enough to almost risk cave-ins."
  • Sweetie Belle: "But, he's friendly, right?"
  • Duke Topaz: "Well, yes, but, remember that he's also lonely. He, may make leaving, difficult."
  • Rumble: "Well I'm sure he wouldn't be so bad."
  • Squire Ruby: "Well, that depends..... Any of you familier with the 2008 reoot of the violent Video Game Turok?"
  • Scootaloo: "Icky told me about that once."
  • Squire Ruby: "Well, Stanly basicly looks like the Sea Monster Boss from that game, but, not as hyper-monsterised, with fins on the side of his face, abit of a tenticle beard, and wears a Tri-Horn Bunyip Plushy around his neck, and braces."
  • Sweetie: "... And he is friendly, right?"
  • Pearl: "(Shows up) OH FOR F***'S SAKE'S KID, YES, STANLY ISN'T EVEN A THREAT TO A PET SEA-KITTEN HE KEEPS?!"
  • Ruby/Topaz: "SHUSH?! (Quietly) Pearl! Exnay on the elling-say!... And the anguage-lay!"
  • Applebloom: Ugh, do I even need to be introduced? We don't want to get in trouble for teaching our campers bad language. Not since we helped that lost dragonling Agate find a home nearby our camp and got the kids grounded for the language she used.
  • Pearl: Well, dragons are nothing but trouble anyway.
  • Sweetie Belle: Our sister's friend has a dragon assistant who RECENTLY got his wings, AND dragons have been showing up more since before and after the School of Friendship opened. You're lucky we don't tell her you said that.
  • Pearl: WE'RE STUCK IN THE BODIES OF A PEST THAT DRAGONS EAT!!!
  • Sweetie Belle: And whose fault was that? Griffins have recently gained a controversial reputation, and I'm not surprised why.
  • Pearl: WHY YOU LITTLE- (Their arguing was heard from the surface)
  • Maud: Ugh! Pearl and her family are at it again. Just ignore it and it will go away.
  • Topaz: SHUT UP!!!!!... Pearl, your yelling is going to get us in trouble. Let's just get these kids to Stanly's.
  • Pearl: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH, FINE!! Why are you ALWAYS, SO, SASSY?!? (They swam off)

Stanly's Cave

  • Sea Changeling: (He was seen to be different from the ones in Equantica and more akin to the pure Changelings, being like a shrimp-seapony-Changeling, as the fillies and Jewelfish approached him) (Andy Richter voice) Oh, I'm SOOOOOOOO bored! (Sees the group).... Finally, social interactivity!
  • Prism: Hmm?
  • Topaz: Oh, Hypogean, I forgot about him. This is the guardian of Stanly's Cave, Shrimp Toast.... (The fillies couldn't help but burst in bubbly laughter, bubbles gushing from their mouths)
  • Shrimp Toast: YOU, HUSH UP!!!! The sea monster needs his beauty sleep!! Espeically after the big baby stopped crying about Jasmina!
  • Sweetie Belle: Uh, aren't you yelling?
  • Shrimp Toast: He's a heavy sleeper, but NOT deaf! He's used to me, but HE RESPONDS QUICKLY TO NEW FOLKS?! That guy, is SO desperate for anyone other then that Catfish he keeps!
  • Scootaloo: (Scoffs as the suffocating fillies put their snorkels back on) Sorry, but I'm with them. Shrimp Toast? My Celestia, that's hilarious!!
  • Shrimp Toast: Hey, ya lucky I grown numb to people mocking a name that I WASN'T IN THE POSITION TO CHOOSE FOR MYSELF?!
  • Applebloom: "Okay okay, ya don't need to be angry at us fer it! We're only kids!"
  • Pearl: Yeah, forgot to tell you that Shrimp Toast is very abrasive and sensitive to noise aside from his own, even to kids. Not sorry.
  • Topaz: What Pearl is TRYING to say is that he was lost from his family and recently adopted by us. He's got serious loner issues. He is in charge of keeping Stanly from waking up. Again, Stanly has a tendingy to do rotine cries that can, risk cave-ins, because Stanly is in DESPERATE need of companionship. Like he said, he's a heavy sleeper, but he's not deaf.
  • Shrimp Toast: So what do you sea cucumbers want?
  • Scootaloo: "Well, let's just saw we inadvertingly discovered an evil plot from the Uncle of Maud's Boyfriend trying to get him to uncover the School's Secrets so he can make his own. And we needed to be able to get back out to warn everyone without having to go back the original way."
  • Shrimp Toast: "So, basicly, typical land pony shenanigans? Now, as much as I would LOVE to be the clished stubbern guard that wants something weirdly spefific in return, this is actselly the first time I actselly got to interact with anyone besides Stanly, so F*** TROPES! Just follow me, and don't touch anything! Stanly's very over-persnickety about any of his stuff out of place! Also, mind that catfish Sea Kitten of his, Saliva. She's a good sea kitten, but she's frisky as all hell. She'll play with ya like her toys and the sea yarn."
  • Sweetie Belle: "Well that isn't so bad."
  • Shrimp Toast: "She meows very loudly when she plays, which will wake Stanly up to cuddle with her, and then when he sees you bunch, you'll be made to play housemates with that miserable yuts for the rest of your lives! I mean, guy's friendly, but DAMN is he miserably lonely! I'm telling ya, the sooner he either gets himself togather or Jasmina comes back to him!"
  • Scootaloo: "..... Wow. That guy, has issues."
  • Duke Topaz: "Yes, we know, we spent alot of years living next to his cave in these caverns."
  • Shrimp Toast: "Oh, and another thing... Be espeically sure to not touch his collection of fake treasure chests that shoot bubbles..... He, REALLY likes bubbles."
  • Sweetie Belle: "So, he's emotionally distressed..... But has the easily entertained compasity, of a goldfish?"
  • Shrimp Toast: "I know, weird, right? But seriously, those things are motion and touch-activated. If even so much as a hair touches them, they activate and shoot bubbles, and that'll get his attention, and wam bam slam, your stuck playing boardgames and watching Sea Pony Soap Operas for beyond your childhood!"
  • Scootaloo: "How exactly is that bad?"
  • Shrimp Toast: "Well ya said your trying to stop a conspiracy, right? Ya waste time with Stanly, the doughebag behind it's gonna win hands down, capishe?"
  • Scootaloo:... Alright. So... Where do we go for Prism to cast the teleportation spell?
  • Shrimp Toast: TELEPORTATION SPELL?! Uh, kids, this is certainly not the place for that. Saliva will be attracted to any light, and a flash is not a pretty thing to occur here.
  • Scootaloo: NOW you tell us.
  • Shrimp Toast: Well you should've specified your method. You can't flash anywhere here. You may be gone, but Stanly AND Saliva will smother me again! Do you have ANY, IDEA, HOW HORRIFYING THAT IS?! He made me watch emotionally destructive movies. He just drains his loneliness with personal entertainment. Seeing what that guy goes through, you'll NEVER, EVER, stop crying. I never stop crying for a single day after being stuck with him.
  • Sweetie Belle: And yet you're his guardian.
  • Shrimp Toast: But here's the thing... He can't know that. If he does, he'll keep me with him forever. I am NOT, going to that nightmare again!!!! (A Large figure's eyes appeared behind him as the Kids and Topaz, Ruby and Pearl get concerned), I'm sorry to say, you guys will have to sit this one out- (Saliva the giant literal catfish reveiled herself and appeared behind him)...... Saliva's right behind me, isn't she? (Saliva meows extremely loud and brings in Stanly, exactly as he was discripe.)
  • Stanly: WHAT IS IT, SALIVA?! What is it gir- (Sees the group that quickly donned nervious smiles)...... YAAAY, NEW FRIENDS!!!!
  • Shrimp Toast: F******!!!!!
  • Pearl: "Well, that barely lasted longer then 30 seconds."
  • Stanly: And they're ponies! YOUNG PONIES! D'AAAAAWWWWWW!! YOU LOOK SO CUTE WITH THOSE SNORKELS. Ugh, although, it must be a pain to not be able to talk with those things. Here, let me try something. (Claps Tenticles and gives them merpony forms) Tadah!
  • Pipsqueak: I, I CAN BREATH!!!
  • Rumble: I can talk again!!!
  • Prism: And I won't sound like I'm talking into a fan. Thanks.
  • Shrimp Toast: DON'T, THANK HIM!!!!
  • Stanly: Jasmina taught me magic! She taught me you ponies make wonderful friends!! You all have come to the right place for friends!
  • Shrimp Toast: Oh, Hypogean's holy fertilizer, not the f*****g song again!!!
Anything You want to -Star Vs The Forces of Evil Song

Anything You want to -Star Vs The Forces of Evil Song

  • Shrimp Toast: ENOUGH WITH THAT F*****G SONG, IT'S BEEN DRILLED INTO MY HEAD!!!
  • Stanly: Anything you wa- Oh, oh, right.... Also..... Mister, please mind your language! There are kids present.
  • Rumble: "Though, I'm curious though. You said Jasmina taught you magic. How, wasn't she a giant subterian sea-monster too?"
  • Stanly: "(Sighs).... That actselly could've made my problems so much easier if that was the case."
  • Shrimp Toast: "(Angerly and quietly) PLEASE DON'T ASK HIM?!"
  • Applebloom: "Then who is she really?"
  • Shrimp Toast: "MMMMMMM!? (Starts banging his head repeatingly into wall!)"
  • Stanly: "Oh, thanks for asking actselly, she was beautiful. (Swam to an underwater cavernious fireplace that only produced bubbles and grabbed a pictire frame)..... She was as beautiful as she was kind. (Gives the Crusaders a picture of a Seapony with an Anglerfish Antenna and a long fin of an angelfish).... She was all about caring for those she felt needed it the most. She would care for even the most spiteful of people. Alchourse, she wouldn't let them know it, cause, they would often take advantage of it, so, she takes the form of the most unassuming of creatures so they would never think twice."
  • Sweetie Belle: ".... Is, that why she left you?"
  • Stanly: "(Sighs)..... That's, only half the story..... She wanted to go join a relief group to help some creatures of a far-off ocean that were victimised by some mad man from some scary clan obcessed with storms."
  • Applebloom: "(Quietly) The Storm Clan."
  • Stanly: "I tried to tell her against it, but.... She wanted to follow her heart. She promised that she would never be too far away from me no matter what..... I.... (Sniffles).... I never knew what happened to her.... I.... I'm not, (Sobs), I'm not sure if I even wanted to know!"
  • Sweetie Belle swam up to comfert the crying Stanly.
  • Sweetie Belle: "(Patting him in the back) It's okay, Stanly. She went to a relief group. That means, it's an aftermath of what his madman had done."
  • Stanly: "It doesn't, (Wimper), It doesn't make me less worried. I mean, I had heard that the Mad Man is not being taken seriously anymore and that ocean has greatly recovered, but.... She never came back..... Either she gotten too caught up with helping people under cover as someone, or.... Or...... (Cries out loud which shakes the cave), I REALLY HOPE IT'S THE FIRST THIIIIIIIIIIIIG?! (SOBS UNCONTROLABLELY)!?"
  • The Cave looks about to cave-in as in the surface, it's translating into a near earthquake!
  • Shrimp Toast: "THAT WAS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO PREVENT HERE?!"
  • Applebloom: "No kidding! Stanly's cries are large and powerful enough to effect the surface?! How's that so?!"
  • Smart Camper: "It'hh could be because Stanly lives under a fault'hhh line. An area at risk'hhh of a earthquake."
  • Scootaloo: "Then we need him to calm the fffffffffffffreck down before he ends up breaking Equestria, and ponyville most of all, into too seperate continents!"
  • Shrimp Toast: "Okay, the best way to calm him down is to get his mind off of Jasmina! That may mean.... (Groans)..... WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HIM?!"
  • Applebloom: "Well if it's the best way to calm him down, why are you so upset about it?"
  • Shrimp Toast: "Ohhhh, trust me.... You'll understand soon enough, kid! He likes to start off the day by having a kelp, seaweed and alge pizza! And yes, the guy's a vegatarian. Big whoop."
  • Rumble: "No prob! (To Stanly) HEY, BIG GUY?! (Stanly looks at him sadly)...... Want some Sea Pizza? It might help take your mine off about your girl."
  • Stanly: "(Sniffles) Sure. It always does. After that, do you wanna play some Battleclouds and watch Aqua Mi Amora Fish?"
  • Shrimp Toast groans in agony!
  • Applebloom: "Well, if it'll help claim ya down, then yes."
  • Stanly: "Awww, thanks guys. Maybe you can talk about why your here while we're at it."
  • Applebloom: Well we CAN start off by saying that the Madman your girlfriend went after is dead.
  • Stanly: "REALLY?! THE TYPHOON KING'S GONE?!"
  • Applebloom: "..... Ohhhhh.... Sorry, I thought you meant the Storm King and how he attacked the Hippogriffs."
  • Stanly: ".... Awwww. People always make that mistake because the Storm King was abit more maintream to the land! Besides, remember that said that he was a madman that attacked THE OCEAN, I never said anything about Hippogriffs! The Typhoon King went after the sea abit more while most other clan members did the land abit more- Wait! You said the Storm King is gone, there by meaning why Typhoonie is not taken seriously anymore?"
  • Applebloom: "Well, pretty much. Sorry I got the two confused, we don't exactly know life beyond Equestria that well yet, so-"
  • Stanly: SO THAT MEANS THAT WITH THE STORM CLAN HEAD HUNCHO GONE, THE STORM CLAN WILL LOSE THEIR CONFIDENCE, WHICH MEANS LANDS AND OCEANS WILL RECOVER, WHICH MEANS JASMINA WILL.... YES!!!! YESYESYESYESYEEES!!!! (He shakes the ground in his excitement)
  • Applebloom: OKAY, OKAY, YOU CAN STOP NOW!!! In fact, when we're done here, we can drop by Seaquestria and ask about Jasmina. Well that is, based on what you said, that if she's even IN Seasquestria, but Novo might know what she's up to now a days.
  • Stanly: You... (Sobbing) You'd do that for me?
  • Sweetie Belle: Well, Shrimp Toast here says spending time with you is saddening. We wouldn't want you to live here all alone with a giant catfish forever.
  • Shrimp Toast: "AW GREAT KING SETA DAMN IT, DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM THAT MUCH?! NOW HE'S GONNA-"
  • Stanly: AWWWWW, C'MERE!!! (Hugs everyone as they were cartoonishly strangled)
  • Shrimp Toast: "(Gags), Do this, pretty much!"
  • Duke Topaz: "(Strained) Probuly should've mentioned that Stanly's quite the hugger!"
  • Scootaloo: "(Strained) WELL IT'S COMMEN KNOWLEDGE NOW?!"
  • Prism: THANK THE GODS YOU GAVE US THESE MERPONY FORMS, OR WE WOULD'VE BEEN DROWNING BY NOW!!! AHHK!!
  • Stanly: So... (Magically conjures up pizza) Who wants pizza? (The fillies cheered)
  • Shrimp Toast: Ugh! You kids do know you don't have time to waste.
  • Applebloom: I'm sure we have time.

French Narrator: Meanwhile...

  • In Maud's Cavern Paradise, the three were seen covered in Ice Cream thanks to Stanly's outbursts......
  • Maud: "..... Sorry. That was Stanly. A giant subterriain tenticled fish-eel creature with emotional problems ever since his girlfriend left. His cries causes small earthquakes, which is risky because he lives under a faultline....."
  • Mudbrair: "Tecnecally..... That wasn't a good thing to inform him off."
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... You mean, you lived next, TO ANOTHER SUBTERRIAN MONSTER?!"
  • Maud: "Don't worry. Stanly's friendly and well meaning. Just emotionally distressed."
  • O'Hardknocks: "AN EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSED MONSTER IS STILL A RISK TO EQUESTRIA?! WHEN I GET BACK TO CANTERLOT, I WILL INFORM CELESTIA OF THIS AND ASK HER TO SEND SOME FORMER AGENTS OF THAT NOT THAT SECRET MONSTER CATCHER GROUP TO CAPTURE THIS "STANLY"!"
  • Maud: ".... Keep in mind that his home's underwater. And he's capable of magic. They would sooner end up playing board games and watching Seapony Soap Operas then get anything done."
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... HOW IS EQUESTRIA NOT ALREADY SPLITED IN HALF BY THIS THING?!"
  • Maud: "You can thank Shrimp Toast for that. He pretty much makes sure Stanly's kept calm."
  • O'Hardknocks: "WELL HE DID A POOR JOB THIS TIME AROUND?!"
  • Maud: "... I didn't say he's perfect, but he's good at what he does."
  • Mudbrair: "And tecnecally, Stanly did stopped at all. So, he does have his effectiveness."
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... Can I just be taken somewhere to GET ALL THIS CLEANED OFF?!"
  • Nurse Care Giver lookes on forlornedly at the cavern, before taken back to reality!
  • Nurse Care Giver: "D'oh! Oh, uh, I did see a NICE spa here!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Good! Now take me to that Spa!"
  • Maud: "..... Only if you promise to calm down for abit."
  • O'Hardknocks: "CALM DOWN?! HOW CAN I CALM DOWN KNOWING THAT EQUESTRIA'S AT RISK BECAUSE OF SOME HORMOANIAL IMBALENCED SUBTERAINIAN HORROR IS PRONE TO THROW CRYING FITS THAT CAN DESTROY EQUESTRIA EVEN IF IT WAS NEVER HIS INTENT?! HE'S BASICLY LIKE DEVOURUS?! AN UNINTENTIONAL DESTROYER OF EQUESTRIA WAITING TO HAPPEN?!"
  • Mudbrair: "Don't worry Uncle, Shrimp Toast is very good at what he does, he'll keep Stanly calm as he always does. Let's worry about that Spa more, okay?"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Ugh. Fine! BUT, I want to go to the Friendship School DIRECTLY afterwords!"
  • The Trio went on as Nurse Care Giver gave one more forlorned look...
  • Nurse Care Giver: "(Quietly Sad) Sorry Stanly. (Her Uniform reveils a hidden magical sea shell.) O'Hardknocks is at a state where he really needs me. But I haven't forgotten you in the slightist.... Just hope you know that. (She leaves in catching up with the trio, as some Jewelfish over heard that)....."
  • Jewelfish 1: "..... Ya don't think.....?"
  • Jewelfish 2: "That nurse pony acted very weirdly..... And did you notice that weird looking shell she kept in her uniform?"
  • Jewelfish 3: No. Why?
  • Jewelfish 2: Well, admitingly, I don't have the exact answers, but, it just gives this weird sensantion like that's impourent. I just get this strange feeling that... She may not be a pony, but, well, either a seapony, a merpony, or any kind of aquatic equine.
  • Jewelfish 1:... Now that you mention it, she looks...... Familiar.
  • Jewelfish 3: Should we tell the Duke about this?
  • Jewelfish 2: I suppose so. Espeically if this could be impourent. Let's go. (They skitter into holes).

Stanly's Cave.

  • The Group were seen watching one of Stanly's Soap Operas.
  • Scootaloo: "Wow. These are sopa operas all right."
  • Applebloom: "I bet Trixie would go CRAZY for these kind of shows."
  • Sweetie Belle: "(While petting Saliva) Who's to say she doesn't already know about it since she's into these things?"
  • Rumble: "Wouldn't hurt to ask."
  • Pipsqueak: "I wish I could follow a plot, but, they keep speaking in that weird alien languise...."
  • Rumble: ".... That's Donkey Speak, genius, or as the Lougers call it, "Spanich"."
  • Stanly: "Oh, don't worry, I came to learn most of that languise just from watching this.... And reading a Donkey Speak Dictionary."
  • Rumble: "And how are you able to read it under water without the words being washed awa-"
  • Everyone else: "Magic."
  • Rumble: ".... Alchourse."
  • ???: Duke Topaz! (The three Jewelfish arrived from holes)
  • Topaz: Oh, hey guys!
  • Scootaloo: Friends of yours?
  • Topaz: Yeah. These are my royal servants Gemmy, Lattice, and Squire Ruby's brother Reuben.
  • Pearl: And they're real kissasses.
  • Smart Pony: What's a 'kissass'?
  • Squire Ruby:... May I?
  • Topaz: Yes. (Ruby slaps Pearl) Pearl, language!
  • Scootaloo: Yeah, even somepony as smart as M-Theory doesn't need to hear that. Shame on you. But seriously, that's just a profane term for someone that'll do anything for a reward in an extremely unnecessary manner.
  • Smart Filly (M-Theory): So, it means to act submissively or obsequiously in order to gain favor? Or, sycophant? Bootlicker? Toady?
  • Pearl: NEEERD!!! (Ruby slaps her again)
  • Scootaloo: Yes. No need to be a dictionary, M.
  • Lattice: Anyway, sir, we were watching Maud and the others.
  • Topaz: And?
  • Lattice: Well, I kinda saw that nurse pony with them... Familiar.
  • Applebloom: You mean that nurse with O'Hardknocks? What about her?
  • Gemmy: He seems to think she's not a pony because of a shell he might've seen. Not sure if you knew anything about it, but-
  • Stanly: "SHELL?! Did, did it looked like it had a strange glow to it?"
  • Gemmy: "Errr, well, again, it was kinda at a far distence, so, it was hard to saw since she likely had the thing hidden in her uniform."
  • Stanly: "...... Jasmina, might be here?...... YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"
  • Shrimp Toast: "AW CRAP, HE'S GONNA HAVE AN EXCITMENT FIT?!"
  • Applebloom: WAIT!!! We need to be sure if it IS her. Does Jasmina have a blue coat, blue eyes, and ridiculously long yellowish hair?
  • Shrimp Toast: Look at the picture he gave you, genius!!
  • Applebloom: (She looks at the picture of Jasmina and compares her looks to Care Giver visually)... Sweet Apples of Eden... I think it IS her.
  • Shrimp Toast: (Stanly gets super excited) DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! It could just be a coincidence.
  • Scootaloo: Well we should DEFINITELY get moving. We need to get this information we learned to the surface. Prism? You ready to teleport?
  • Prism: Well... See, I couldn't tell you much when you first asked. See, I HAVE teleported myself 2 days ago. I can teleport. But... I haven't learned how to teleport more than one pony. I have to teleport all of you.
  • Stanly: Teleport? Uh, I can do that, you know.
  • Sweetie Belle: You could, but we like to give the kids a chance. Helping fillies find their cutie marks is what we do best.
  • Shrimp Toast: Wow, you're just going to waste time getting an inexperienced filly to do a teleportation spell instead of having an exspearienced magical tenticaled subterrianian sea serpent do it?
  • Scootaloo: Dude, how about you spend a day running our camp, THEN you'll understand.
  • Sweetie Belle: Let's please let Prism try. It's CMC courtesy.
  • Shrimp Toast: "Ugh, fine. But we better not let this turn into a horror show insodent."
  • Stanly: "Actselly, I think it's for the best we let them go without us. Ponies might get freaked out if we came alot."
  • Scootaloo: "Well, given you basicly resemble a boss monster from a 2008 reboot of a violent dino hunter game, I don't see why not."
  • Shrimp Toast: ".... Wow, you thought about that practicly for once."
  • Stanly: "Well, I'm speaking from personal exspearience. There's, a reason why I don't leave the cave that often."
  • Shrimp Toast: No sea cucumbers! Alright, kid, go nuts.
  • Prism:.... Okay, here we go.... (Takes deep breath and starts concentrating her magic)
  • Pipsqueak: YOU CAN DO IT, PRISM!!!
  • Shrimp Toast: If you turn this into a Care Bears thing, I swear to Hypogean!
  • Pipsqueak: How do you even know what that is?
  • Shrimp Toast: Who DOESN'T know about those overtly caring bears?
  • Prism: I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE HERE!!!! (Continues concentrating her magic)
  • Rumble: "(Quietly) You got this, Pris."
  • Prism: (She concentrates and imagines the location in her and then the radius of her surroundings, and successfully teleports the students back to the camp)
  • Shrimp Toast:... Will they still be merponies?
  • Stanly: It was only temporary. I just gave it to them so they can talk and breath safer. Looks like it's just us now.
  • Shrimp Toast: (He realized his error)...... (His girly screams are heard all over the underground in every underground creature kingdom)

Cutie Mark Camp

  • Prism: (The fillies all teleported back to the camp)... Iiiii DID IT!!! IDIDIT, IDIDIT, IDIDIT!!!! (She gains her cutie mark, which is a magic reflecting light crystal)... (Gasps for 5 seconds) YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!!!!!!
  • M-Theory: Wow. Three cutie marksshh in one day. A new record.
  • Sweetie Belle: Actually, our record is 13.
  • M-Theory: SSSERIOUSSSLY?!
  • Filly #3: Wow.
  • Pipsqueak: So we're ponies again?
  • Applebloom: Guess Stanly decided that you guys needed it for the time being. Alright, girls, we gotta warn the school.
  • Stunty: We wanna help too!
  • Sweetie Belle:... Guys, you're nice, but, this isn't exactly your fight.
  • Stunty: "Awwww man, your making us stay out of it?"
  • Applebloom: Well, we don't want to get in trouble with any of y'all getting hurt. This is our fight.
  • Prism:... You're right. (The campers gasped) So bring me, Stunty, and Aquamarine.
  • Scootaloo: Huh?
  • Prism: We just got our cutie marks. We want to use what they entail for good. Aquamarine is destined for swimming, so she can help out Stanly and Jasmina. I am a high-level magic user, so I can provide more magic. And Stunty can...... Well, be Stunty.
  • Sweetie Belle:... Guys, that's courageous, but are you sure you want to do this?
  • Prism: "Girls, this guy's being the reason why we lost out on meeting new friends outside of fellow ponies. We owe it to you and those would've been friends to put that mean old fart in his place!"
  • Applebloom:... Well said, really.
  • Scootaloo: And that's good enough for us. Alright. Let's ride.
  • Scootaloo brought out her scooter with the wagon, as the Crusaders and three campers got on, with Scootaloo zooming off with them!
  • Larroty, Potamoe, and Cunion showed up from a cabin....
  • Larroty: "Hey kids, what did we missed?"
  • M-Theory: "Oh, we accshhadently uncovered a conspiracy after an exciting underground adventure and met alot of sentient creatures."
  • Potamoe: "..... And, strangely.... That's actselly kinda believeable."
  • Cunion: "Awww shucks, we always get told these things at the last possable minute. No respect, nyak nyak, no respect at all."

Chapter 3: O'Hardknocks' Evaluation/A Plan in Motion

School of Friendship

  • Cozy: Yes, sis, I remember the plan. We sabotage the presentation and give the friendship archives to O'Hardknocks, or to Perplexity if the old coot is ineditably stopped because, let's be honest, the School's MORE then well prepared for any outburst from his old ass!
  • ???: That's my sister.
  • Cozy: Though I must ask, what does this accomplish in your goals to outshine Princess Twilight?
  • ???: It's not entirely about that. It's also about restoring the family legacy. It was vilified by Neighsay's understandable but still grossly over-reactive nature, helped little that Neighsay once admited he once openly supported MY way of doing things and that by UNLUCKY EXTENTION, made the family look bad because of HIS OWN DUGGED CONTROVERSEAL DITCH?! Now, I'm flattered that Neighsay sympathised with my blight, BUT GOOD GRIEF, PONIES ARE SO OVER-REACTIVED TO TRIVAL AND UNRELATED THINGS?!
  • Cozy: "Sounds like your type of ponies."
  • ???: (Sarcasticly) Ha, freaking, ha. (Seriously) But seriously, the family name hasn't exactly, soically thrived since the E.E.A.'s disbansion. It needs to be restored, and it's very vital that we restore the honor that was destroyed before I make my ultimate move. I hope that one day, your secret side can be useful.
  • Cozy: Is my... Unmentionable secret... Hurting people worth all this?
  • ???: Look at it like this..... It's at least hurting the pony that usurped my rightful place. Others are.... Unavoidable collatteral damage at best. Now get moving. (Hung up)
  • Cozy: (Sighs) Why'd you of all ponies have to figure out my dark secret?
  • ???: Secret what? (Eightball came in)
  • Cozy: Uh, um, well it's a personal and private secret. You REALLY don't want to know. (Chuckles)
  • Eightball:......... Eh, point taken. Even as a spy, that seems too much. So, kiddo, how are you?
  • Cozy: "Doh, well, Sis just checked up on me again, (Quietly) Like she constintly does ever since I came here, (Openly) Nothing big. So, when is Mr. O'Hardknocks getting here?"
  • Eightball: "Well he's blowing some steam off in the Spa, so, he's not for a few extra hours. Though, why so interested?"
  • Cozy: "Oh, ya know, just wanna keep up with current events so I can be ready for it."
  • Eightball: Hah! So productive, just like your sister. I'm proud of you, cous. (Rubs her hair) I hope our family can do something great again after the mess Neighsay caused.
  • Cozy: (Sighs) Me too. (Quietly) And without this Espionage bullshit I'm doing."
  • Eightball: Good luck, then. (Teleports away)
  • Cozy:......

Later...

  • O'Hardknocks: (Takes deep breath as he arrives at the School) Alright. No more detours. It's time to get to work.
  • Mudbriar: Remember, Uncle, best behavior.
  • O'Hardknocks: No promises. PRINCESS TWILIGHT!!!
  • Twilight: (Teleports in) WHAAT?! Oh... O'Hardknocks, sir. What took you so long?
  • Maud: Trying to quell his anger and stress issues. Something you clearly have issues with.
  • Twilight: Yeheheheheah, we all have our demons. So, um, sir, how would you like to start?
  • O'Hardknocks: With ALL the interracial students. Preferably the ones called... (Care Giver gives him a note)... "Gallus, Silverstream, Ocellus, Yona, and Smolder". I'll look at the other four, "Shore, Skyceria, Quartz and Gaster", and the Non-Pony Factilty there-after.
  • Twilight: Alright, good start, good start-
  • O'Hardknocks: Save the sycophantic attitude, and just show me. Nopony likes a kissass, you know.
  • Twilight: Alright. Right this way. (Smiles innocently) Just, right this way, Mr. O'Hardknocks.
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... In the meantime, I would like to ask some small questions till we get to the students. Explain to me Sparkle, what give you the idea to make a friendship school.... And it has to be OUTSIDE of because of the Cutie Mark Map and that Storm King fiasco, those reasons are clishes at this point."
  • Twilight: "You mean, a far deeper meaning? Well..... You see..... It was actselly always a childhood dream of mine to become a teacher and pass on my knowledge to the next generation. I initionally thought that once I passed all of Celestia's tests, I would be given the rights to become a teacher of my own school...... (Deadpan) Then I became a Princess and got caught up in alot of world threatening events until the Storm King came where FINALLY I got to make that dream happen after a harrowing, dangerious, and ultamately pointless quest to get to the Hippogriffs thanks to my own desperate stupidity not responding well to Novo's refuseal! (Normally) Then..... Well, I think we all know the rest."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Bitterly) Painfully so. (Normalish) Sparkle, were you, aware, of how I was going to assend to Chancellor?"
  • Twilight: "Well, yes, University told me that you were being promoted in, an ill-fated time."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well, you had any idea how HUMILIATING THAT WAS?! I, was choosen by the Chooser Phenox, to assend to High Chancellorism! You have any idea how much of an HONOR that was?!"
  • Twilight: ".... (Nerviously) A very great honor?"
  • O'Hardknocks: " HA?! THAT'S A BLOODLY UNDERSTATEMENT?! IT WAS AN HONOR, OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE!? BECOMING HIGH CHANCELLOR OF THE E.E.A., MAY AS WELL BE LIKE BEING CHOOSEN TO BECOME A NEW-AGE ALICORN GOD TO ME!? I, WAS GONNA HAVE, SO MANY BENEFITS AND PERKS?! CHANCELLORS ALREADY HAVE DECENT BENEFITS, BUT HIGH CHANCELLORS?! THEY HAVE IT MADE?! THEY GET TO BE INVITED TO THE HIGH UNICORN NOBLE HOUSES PARTIES, THEY CAN KEEP PRIVATE ORTHOSES, BE GIVEN PRIVATE E.E.A. OWNED MANSIONS WITH MINOTAUR SECURITY, CENTAUR CHUFFERS, AN ENTIRE HIVE OF SERVENT SPRITES, EVEN A LIFE GUARD SEA DRAGON AT AN OCEAN-SIZED SWIMMING POOL?!"
  • Starlight: "(Showing up overhearing this) Wait, the E.E.A. has Mythic Creature Servents? Then, how does Neighsay make logical sense?"
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Did the vile, dispicable, cutiemark communisum chrono-terrorest..... JUST SPOKE TO ME?!"
  • Starlight: "...... (Deadpan) You don't think very highly of me, do you?"
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... Sparkle, please don't tell me this fanactic isn't assusiated with your school, is she?!"
  • Twilight: "..... (Nerviously) She's our, guidence counsler?"
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... YOU MADE THIS TREACHERIOUS FANACTIC, SOMEONE TO BE ENTRUSTED TO SORT OUT STUDENTS BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS?! (STRESSES OUT GREATLY TO NEAR-MELT DOWN AS CARE GIVER SHOVES ANOTHER PILL DOWN HIS THROAT, COOLING HIM DOWN)...... Sparkle, are you mad?! DIDN'T SHE ENSLAVED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE TO PRACTICE CUTIEMARK COMMUNISUM, THEN BANDED TOGATHER WITH A COLLECTION OF CRIMINALS TO COME AFTER YOU, AND MESSED WITH ONE OF STARSWIRL'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS TO COMMIT CHRONOTERRORISUM?!"
  • Twilight: "C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-calm down, Sir. Please be informed that Starlight has very well made amends for all of those things."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... Ugh, as if that choas demon being allowed to live among ponies is bad enough, now this embarrisment among ponykind is allowed to give advice to students?! This makes me want to see the interacial students even more?!"
  • Twilight: "How's about we forget about Starlight and worry more about why you thought missing out on the promotion was bad for you?"
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Well as I said, I missed out on the many grand perks being a High Chancellor would've entail..... But, none of them could top what I lost most personal to me.... It was one thing to lose out on benefits, Sparkle..... It's, (Starts shedding some tears, which surprised Sparkle and Starlight, who was abit miffed about his earlier rant about her).... It's another, to lose out on finally earning the approveal of my dying mother just as Cancer was claiming her! (Twilight and Starlight gasped, while Maud made a slightly more surprised but still monotoned stare)..... As you are aware, the O'Hardknocks were about succeeding in the highest science and educational degrees."

Flashback.

  • (O'Hardknocks): "Our family are about being big names in science and learning..... Mother deemed my brother and sister to be the faverties, brother going on to be a highly phrased super-intendent for the educational system, and my sister a top sciencetist in the science committe! But mother, always saw me as a failure. I ended up being the generation that suffered from our family's genetic ills, migraines, cardiac arrest, heart weaknesses, risks of seizures. I was deemed unlikely to succeed. I wanted to proved them wrong! I became devote into the educational system of Equestria! By my earlist adult age, I joined the E.E.A. and started life as a Counciler. By my 30s, I succeeded Chancellorship for my upmost dedication. And, as earlier, the choosing phenox picked me to become a High Chancellor, and around the time University was on the path to retirement. I could've lead the E.E.A. on the path of greatness, I would've been able to fix the outdated Fear Wars Mindsets and ease the needless distaste for mythics to a reasonable extent, ALL THE WHILE, getting those perks! But above all else..... I was finally, gonna earn my mother's love, just as cancer was ravaging her body.... I was gonna earn, her long over due love...... BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO PROVOKE NEIGHSAY TO OVERACT TO YOUR BLASTED SCHOOL AND DEFY E.E.A. WORD OF LAW?! WHICH, INSPIRED CELESTIA'S PARENTS TO MAKE UNIVERSITY TO CAUSE THE E.E.A.'S DISBANSION?! And, because I had some assusiation with Neigh, even acted like a friend to him, I WAS DEEMED UNFIT TO BE GIVEN MY HIGH CHANCELLOR POSITION SHOULD IT EVER BE BROUGHT BACK?! And the worse of it.... Mother heard of it.... And, on her death bed, she broke my heart by saying....."
  • O'Hardknocks Mother: "...... Even in the end..... You were, a disappointment....."
  • (O'Hardknocks): "..... She died after that, her last knowledge of me, is being a FAILURE AS PREDICTED?! AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU, SPARKLE?!"

Flashback ends.

  • O'Hardknocks: "I WAS FINALLY GONNA EARN MY MOTHER'S LOVE, BUT THEN YOU, HAD TO GO, AND UNDERMINE NEIGHSAY'S ATHORITY, EVEN IF HE OVER-REACTED TO EVERYTHING?! MY CONDITION BECAME WORSE NO THANKS TO YOU, SPARKLE?! I, I.... (SCREAMS ENRAGED AS HIS MELTDOWN WAS GETTING ACTIVE AS HE TOOK A BUST OF STARSWIRL AND TOSSED IT TO THE WALL, DESTROYING IT, AND BEGAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THE OTHER BUSTS OF THE PILLERS OF EQUESTRIA) IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU?! (HE BUCKS THE WALL THAT CAUSED THE SEGREGO HEAD TO FALL DOWN AND BREAK FROM THE PLAUGE, OF WHICH O'HARDKNOCKS GRABS) IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU?! (O'HARDKNOCKS BEGAN TO HAVE A CRAZED RAMPAGE INTO THE SETS OF ARMOR AND USED THE SEGREGO HEAD TO CLATTER AND SCATTER THEM APART?!) IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT?! (HE TOSSES THE SEGREGO HEAD RIGHT INTO FLUTTERSHY'S CLASS ROOM AS IT BROKE THROUGH THE DOOR AND SCREAMS OF STUDENTS, EVEN A QUIET HINT OF FLUTTERSHY'S SCREAM, WERE HEARD?!) (Nurse Care Giver finally got ahold of him and gave him a pill and calmed him down, as he tend broke into exhausted crying) It's all, because of you....."
  • Twilight and Starlight had rediculiously dropped jaws.
  • Twilight: "..... Even though University told me his health meltdowns are usually severe, SEEING IT FOR MYSELF, HIS WORDS DID NOT PAINT ENOUGH OF AN ACCREATE PICTURE?! MY CELESTIA, HE'S, WAY MORE SCREWED UP THAN I THOUGHT!! NO WONDER HE BLAMES ME!!!"
  • Mudbrair: ".... I'm, very sorry on my uncle's behalf. Not being able to earn my late grandmother's love before her passing, has clearly greatly desistated him on a very personal level. I, understand if you don't want to continue the tour."
  • Starlight: "Don't worry, we're still going through with this. University did warn us to be prepared for.... Property damage. We do have magic that can fix this since the Yak visit.... That being said, we are, abit cautious about letting him see the students now. He might end up scaring them, well, more then already, or worse!"
  • Maud: "I think it may be best if we just do the tour without having him interact with students for everyone's sake."
  • Rainbow Dash zoomed up!
  • Rainbow Dash: "OKAY, WHAT HAPPENED?! I HEARD SCREAMING?! (Gasps apawn seeing the aftermath of the rampage)..... HOLY SHIT, IT'S LIKE A MINOTAUR WITH BAD DIARRIA RAN THROUGH HERE?! MINUS THE CRAP?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"
  • Starlight: "O'Hardknocks..... Had QUITE the episode."
  • Rainbow Dash: "..... OKAY, THAT TEARS IT?! I'M CHECKING UP WITH BUZZORD TO SEE IF THE HOLO-PANIC ROOM'S READY?! I'M TAKING THAT OLD FART'S ASS RIGHT THERE, RIGHT NOW?!"
  • Twilight: Rainbow Dash, no! We have to redeem ourselves to the EEA. I just found out he blames us personally because his mother died of cancer never getting to watch him succeed because of being unable to be a high chancellor.
  • Rainbow Dash:... Celestia!
  • Maud: So we must keep him from the interracial students for their sakes.
  • Twilight: I'm afraid we can't do that.
  • Maud:... What?
  • Twilight: The whole point of his evaluation is to simply prove Neighsay wrong. We must do everything necessary to do that, INCLUDING introducing the interracial students. O'Hardknocks is not the kind of pony to just ignore the main concern.
  • Mudbriar: I'm afraid she's correct, hon. Uncle O'Hardknocks expects to see everything, including the interracial students. He made it clear he's not leaving until he evaluates everycreature. And he means, EVERY creature. We must give him what he wants, or he and the EEA won't be pleased.
  • Maud:... Alright. This school is doomed.
  • O'Hardknocks: (Recovers) Ugh. That felt good. Now, on with the evaluation. I would like to see the dormitories of the 5 that I specified.
  • Twilight: Right away. (Maud actually got a worried face as Nurse Care Giver noticed Aquamarine, who called for her)
  • Nurse Care Giver: What is it, little one?
  • Aquamarine: Hello... Jasmina.
  • Nurse Care Giver: (Was surprised)... (She ran back to O'Hardknocks in panic and taking deep breaths) ("How did she know my real name?! I can't let anypony know who I am. Not with the craziness of Neighsay's stunt still washing all over the place.")
  • (???): ("We know, because we know about your boyfriend Stanly.")
  • Nurse Care Giver:...... Uh, sir? I, uh, need to tinkle.
  • O'Hardknocks: Ugh, go ahead. Just don't take too long. (She left as this was seen by Cozy)

Bathroom

  • Nurse Care Giver: (Looking through a mirror) ("Who are you?! How do you know who I am?! How do you know about Stanly?!")
  • Prism: ("My name is Prism Horn. I'm a filly speaking to you telepathically. I'm from a Cutie Mark Camp your patient is restricting from allowing interracial creatures who can get cutie marks to come to.")
  • Nurse Care Giver: ("SO YOU'RE SPYING ON ME?!")
  • Prism: ("Nononono! I just found out about you because we were spelunking in caves beneath our camp and met Stanly.")
  • Nurse Care Giver: ("How's this any of your business?!")
  • Prism: ("Because we just want to help him out. He... Kinda misses you. He's been causing some earthquakes because he lives in a fault line. He's a lonely wreck.")
  • Nurse Care Giver: ("Kid, you're sweet, but, I know there should be a better reason than just helping Stanly out.")
  • Prism: ("... Why didn't you come back for him?")
  • Nurse Care Giver: ("DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, YOU LITTLE STALKER!!!! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW, I'M REPORTING THIS TO O'HARDKNOCKS!!!")
  • Prism: ("......")
  • Nurse Care Giver: ("Well, kid, I'm waiting!")
  • Prism: ("Ugh, to heck with this.") (Prism came from out of a cubicle and knocked her out, teleporting her away, as this was watched by Cozy)...
  • Cozy: "..... I knew it. I diffently can't be able to bring the friendship archives to O'Hardknocks. Cause unless Nurses are known to do THAT, that's DIFFENTLY an indication that someone's onto him! But, at least this would be a perfect oppertunity to cause ONE hell of a stir to cause enough of a distraction for me to get the Archives out quietly."

Outside School

  • Prism: (She teleported with Nurse Care Giver) I told you she was going to put it all together.
  • Aquamarine: Well, I'm not M-Theory here!
  • (Applebloom): ("Hey, you three? How's it going?")
  • Prism: ("Uh, slight problem. Jasmina figured out we weren't just here to help and threatened to tell O'Hardknocks about this if we didn't tell the truth. I had to knock her out.")
  • (Applebloom): ("WHAT?! SHE'S THE ONE KEEPING O'HARDKNOCKS FROM GOING BANANAS!!!")
  • Prism: ("WELL WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!")
  • (Applebloom): ("I DUNNO, ERASE HER MEMORY AND START OVER?!")
  • Prism: ("I'M NOT ALL-POWERFUL, I'M JUST A FILLY!!!")
  • (Appelbloom): "("Darn it! Okay, at the least, keep her safe and be ready to calm her down when she wakes up, and explain the full story from there. And now I suddenly regret not taking Shimp Toast with us.")"
  • (Stunty): "("Well why not ask another Changeling to cover for us?")
  • (Scootaloo): "("The ones closest to us are ones in the school, AND HE'S EXPECTED TO MEET THEM!? The same applies for any of the staff in the school!")
  • (Sweetie Belle): "("And Thorax and Pharynx are away from a Creature Friendship Summit, and other changelings are too far away for our convinence!")"
  • (Stunty): "("Well, can't we just use the mirror pool to make another-")"
  • (Applebloom): "("TWILIGHT AND STARLIGHT INCRISED THEIR ABILITY TO DETECT MIRROR POOL CLONES SINCE THE FIASCO WITH THE MEAN SIX?! They have been ESPEICALLY cautious of the Mirror Pools ever since!")"
  • (Sweetie Belle): "("..... So, what do we do now? Who else can be a help to us at a moment's notice and is readily avaluable no matter what?")"
  • (Stunty): "("Well, I heard talk that the Lougers came here to interigate some interdimentional visitors that weren't suppose to be here, does that help?")"
  • (Applebloom): ("As long as nobody suspects she's gone, I don't give a rotten apple. Now we need to find Pinkie. Good luck.")
  • Prism:... Interdimensional visitors?

French Narrator: Meanwhile...

  • SpongeBob: (The two were interrogating these two Easter Eggs) Okay, you two wubba-lubba-dum-dums...
  • Pony Rick: *Burps* Lame!
  • SpongeBob: We don't mean to bother you, buuuut... Care to explain why you two R-rated characters crossed G-rated territory?
  • Pony Rick: Why do you l-*BOOOOOORRRP*sers care about some stupid Easter egg that does nothing but give a non-impourent shout out to your silly little show that feminizes men?
  • Lord Shen: Well, the Galactic Federation felt you were too dangerous, even when you DID shut down a rogue branch of theirs. It did allow them a chance to reestablish that branch and make it less prone to the same mistakes that caused you two to devastate it to begin with.
  • Pony Morty: Oh, man, you guys know that wasn't us, right? T-t-t-there's infinite versions of us. Those were Rick and Morty C-137. We're from Dimension EQ-351! The Equestria Dimension. Everyone there is an Equestrian.
  • Pony Rick: Yeah, including the R-rated characters. Plus, there's i-*BIIIIRRP*nfi-*BIIIIRRRP*ni-*BIIIIRRRRRP*te Galactic Governments and infinite Citadels of Ricks, some having far worse fates than that.
  • Icky: Well then why come to this dimension?
  • Pony Rick: Ask Morty. He just wanted to have an adventure more in our territory, but also just wanted to try out some stupid rollercoaster that was closing down in this dimension, even though I tried to tell him that there's still versions of it in other similar dimensions where it's still up.
  • Pony Morty: Well, this particular one just holds a speical place in my heart, that's all.
  • Pony Rick: Morty, you're obsessing about one of over a zillion rocks here.
  • Pony Morty/Icky: What if it was a diamond? Hah, you owe me a Coke. HAH, you owe me TWO Cokes!
  • Pony Rick: What kind of rock it is doesn't matter. Everything in the multiverse is always replaceable. Why are you always-
  • Pony Morty: BECAUSE I'M NOT AS SMART OR UNATTACHED AS YOU, RICK!!!! Point is, we didn't mean to cause some concerns.
  • Lord Shen: Just saying, you two tend to cause trouble because Rick here is too smart for his own good, and you, for his sidekick, are often too gutless of a cowerd to really have any say over him.
  • Pony Morty: What difference would it make if I wasn't? He's the smartest being in the multiverse.
  • Pony Rick: And don't you forget it.
  • Sandy: Dude, we're only being cautious. It's our solemn oath and duty to protect the UUniverses from danger-
  • Pony Rick: Pfft, you sound like the Vindicators. Also, it doesn't take a fourth-wall breaker to figure out you guys are just an illegal product of cartoon fans that have nothing better to do with their lives but spend the rest of them sitting their asses on computers on a *WUUUUUURP*kipedia writing stories. I don't have to listen to byproducts of antisocial pieces of s*** like you.
  • Pony Morty: Geez, Rick, you don't have to be such a d***.
  • Pony Rick: "Look, that being said, we get it. We outlasted our small welcome here, and you guys being asses to us gives me the perfect excuse to get the f*** out of town. Come on Morty, we're going back home. (Opens up a portal with his hoof-held portal gun).... Oh, and if you ever meet C-137, tell him he's a d*** and that the other Ricks still think he sucks d***s."
  • Icky: Why would we do that to a guy who already knows?
  • Pony Morty: Hah, zip!
  • Pony Rick: "Shut up and get your ass in the portal, Morty. (Goes in the portal)."
  • Pony Morty: "... Oh gees, sorry we were ever an inconvince- (Pony Rick came back annoyed and snagged Pony Morty with him) WHOA!"
  • The Portal closes....
  • Iago: Ugh! Rick and Morty missions, are the WORST.
  • Icky: "Tell me about it. We got lucky with this one. Usually a Rick from another dimention would be difficult to deal with."
  • Lord Shen: "He was smart enough to realise that if he goes down the same road as the C-137 Rick, the other Ricks would turn on him too, and it would start a whole other mess of events."
  • Iago: "Or just as much, like any other Rick, he was just not in the mood to cause anything today."
  • Thundra: Let's just hope other Mr. Sanchezes don't show up this week.
  • ???: ("Cutie Mark Campers to Lodgers. Come in, Lodgers. Do you copy?")
  • Icky: The f***?
  • ???:... ("What's the f***?")
  • Lord Shen: PREHISTORIC ONE, THIS IS A KID WE'RE HEARING!!!...... Who's surprisingly able to master a telepathy spell.
  • ???: ("This is Prism Horn. Me, two others, and the Crusaders are trying to warn the Mane Six about important information about a visiting former EEA member without him knowing.")
  • Icky: Oh, perfect. Another episode in and already an EEA nincompoop is already pooping on the school.
  • Prism: ("He's just evaluating the school so as to avoid more trouble from the EEA.")
  • Soothsayer:... Makes perfect sense.
  • Banzai: Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad-
  • Prism: ("BUUUUuuuuUUUUuuuuuut, he's got serious stress and anger issues that are kept in line by this nurse we just learned is actually a seapony girlfriend of this underground sea serpent and we need to talk to her without the EEA guys suspecting she's gone.")
  • Banzai:... Gunk!
  • Shenzi: Well this is a fine follow up to another Rick and Morty interrogation. You kids sure screwed the pooch.
  • Prism: ("WILL YOU JUST COME AND HELP US?! The Crusaders are already looking for Pinkie.")
  • Private: Pinkie? Why her specifically?
  • Prism: ("Welllllllllllll...")
  • (All Lodgers): (From distance) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT?!?

Friendship School.

  • O'Hardknocks was seen tapping his hoof annoyed.....
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... What is that mare doing? Actselly powdering her nose in the bathroom?"
  • Starlight: "Maybe it was something she ate before she got here?"
  • O'Hardknocks: She wouldn't spend THIS much time in the bathroom. She's got to be in trouble.
  • Starlight: Let's just relax.
  • O'Hardknocks: Uh, no. I need stress relief every moment or I go crazy.
  • Starlight: Well don't you carry any backups?!
  • O'Hardknocks: Some of the meds are a flavor that I don't like.
  • ???: (Laughs hysterically) WOW, YOU ARE SUCH A WEENIE!!!! (Gallus came out laughing with tears in his eyes) Why don't people just suck up a flavor you don't like? It's not like it'll kill yo- (Sees O'Hardknocks) -oooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Uhhh, O'Hardknocks, hehe, what an unexpected surprise!
  • O'Hardknocks:... I would add lack of courtesy for that comment, but I am not, because it's just how griffins treat others. But, on the other hoof, you haven't learned to expect the unexpected including this evaluation you should've well expected, and for once learn how to be courteous. So, it's going into the report.
  • Gallus: (Chuckles)... Oops.
  • Twilight: (Sighs) EVERYCREATURE ELSE, COME MEET MISTER O'HARDKNOCKS!!
  • (Smolder): (Laughs) O'HARDKNOCKS?! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!
  • (Yona): I THINK THAT'S THE NAME OF THE EEA EVALUATOR!!
  • (Smolder):... Ohhhhhh.
  • Gallus: FOR F***'S SAKE, SMOLDER!!!!
  • Smolder: (Burst out) WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIS NAME?!
  • Sandbar: (Came out) TWILIGHT TOLD US LAST NIGHT!!!
  • Smolder: No she didn't.
  • Silverstream:... (Came out) You didn't listen to the name of the evaluator?!
  • Smolder:... Yeeees?
  • Ocellus: (She covered her mouth in shock)... That was a lie!
  • Sandbar: (Did this)
Are you fucking serious?

Are you fucking serious?

  • O'Hardknocks: Hmm. Well clearly this school lacks discipline. Use of vulgar language, lack of professionalism, does not pay attention, willing to ridicule people no matter the status, AND dishonesty and irresponsibility. Twilight Sparkle, these students have not shown any progress.
  • Yona: Way to go, you two!
  • Smolder: "AW COME ON, I HAD SCHOOL FATIQUE!?"
  • Starlight: "Duh, okay, maybe they didn't exactly understood the situation better, but that doesn't mean they didn't learn anything."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well I wouldn't call blanet disrespect or failure of following directions a sign of progress, now would I?!"
  • Twilight: HEEEEEY, these guys may not be a good example, but there's bound to be better ones.
  • O'Hardknocks: Your highness, you completely misunderstood. These six, are involved in the EEA's disbanding. Right now, they have shown nothing that proves they learned anything.
  • Twilight: Well, remember that other races don't behave like ponies do. Getting them to understand pony customs doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and alot of understanding.
  • O'Hardknocks: That does not excuse this behavior. Creatures should and must treat other races differently. I don't care if dragons don't believe in swearing, nor if griffins are jerks. If they live in Equestria, they will show the common courtesy to prove they are worth our time. Nopony looks at dragons or griffins with respect for a reason. They want incidents like Goldstone to stop being brought up? They better act like it. You five have failed your evaluation. Now, let us meet the other interracial students. (They left)
  • Twilight:... How could you? (She left with them)
  • Sandbar:...... WELL THIS IS JUST F*****G PERFECT!! YOU GUYS JUST RUINED OUR CHANCE TO PROVE NEIGHSAY WRONG!!!
  • Smolder: "Hey, that old dude judged us before he got to know us!"
  • Ocellus: "Well it didn't exactly helped to give him the wrong impression. Nor that Twilight..... Looked ashamed of us."
  • Gallus: "Nah, I think it's more like disappointed that we failed to impress that old prune because of honest mistake, and thus the E.E.A. c**ts won't stop being asses to us."
  • Sandbar: "Well, at least Shore, Quarts and Skyceria might do better...."
  • Ocellus: "(Gasps in fear) BUT WHAT ABOUT GASTER?!"
  • Silence.....
  • Gallus: "..... AW, F***?! THAT LITTLE PHARYNX FANBOY IS GONNA END UP PISSING THAT OLD COOT OFF!? We need to keep Gas-Attack from meeting Knock-brains!"
  • Ocellus: "But Mr. O'Hardknocks expects to see him!"
  • Gallus look as if he had an idea.....
  • Gallus: "...... Is it possable for Changelings to turn into..... Other Changelings?"
  • Ocellus: ".... Well, yes, but, doing that is redundent because Changelings are already Changelings, it be kinda stupid to-.... Wait..... Are you trying to ask me to pretend to be Gaster?"
  • Gallus: "Well yeah! While we keep the real deal out of the picture, you disguise yourself as Gaster and act all, NOT-Gaster like, to impress Hardknocky and prove to him that Sparkle's school isn't an incompident piece of shit!"
  • Ocellus: "I, understand that, but, isn't that alittle dishonest? You know, one of the reasons WE FAILED THE EVALUATION?!"
  • Gallus: "Would you rather risk your chances on this guy being a driving force why the E.E.A. would still give us complete s***?!"
  • Ocellus: "..... (Dejected) Okay. (Turns into Gaster). (In Gaster's Voice) Happy?"
  • Gallus: "Thank you! Now, let's find Gaster before they do!"

Shore's Room

  • O'Hardknocks: (Sees her room is a pool)... Seapony, I presume?
  • Twilight: Yep. Sandbar's girlfriend is quite the cheeky little student. (She casts him a bubble helmet, while Twilight became a seapony as they enter and meet Shore)
  • Shore:... Oh, hey, Twilight! Is this the evaluator?
  • O'Hardknocks: I am. I am O'Hardknocks.
  • Shore:... (Gives a brief snicker, then takes a deep breath) Do not laugh! You're not the Lodgers. So, uh, did you meet my boyfriend?
  • O'Hardknocks: Looked at him first, actselly...
  • Shore: Isn't he so nice? Charisma, a care for sea life, eager, smooth, and completely-
  • O'Hardknocks: He failed his evaluation.
  • Shore: (A loud echoing glass shatter sound was heard)...... A'wha..... Wha..... What?
  • O'Hardknocks: He failed. He and his friends showed lack of discipline as displayed by his inability to have his friends control themselves. As a result, the one named Gallus insults me, and the one called Smolder laughs at my name, does not pay attention to anything the headmistress says, and lies instead of taking responsibility for her actions. I didn't even bothered with the Yak and the Female Changeling because I had doubts they would be any better off!
  • Shore:... (Laughs anxiously and half-heartedly), I never knew you were one for jokes, sir. (Laughs still as she twitched abit)
  • O'Hardknocks: I am completely serious. (Shore stopped as he writes down his report, Shore starting to twitch even more as a scowl formed) Shore Joy displays uncourteous denial and disrespect.
  • Shore: "WHAT?! "UNCOURTEOUS", "DENIAL", "DISRESPECT"?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... (Writes on report) And yells."
  • Shore: (Twitches wildly)! UGH! Sandbar is NOT a bad pony! NONE of that was his fault!! How DARE you accuse him of such things?! You call yourself an evaluator?! (Twilight signals her to stop)
  • O'Hardknocks: "Are you accusing me of being wrong, Miss Shore?!"
  • Shore: WELL IT'S NOT TO INVITE YOU TO THE MOUNT ARIS BALL?! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A HOPELESS QUACK?! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!! (Slaps his bubble helmet away as he suffocates)
  • Twilight: SHORE!!!! (She saves him as they all went to the surface)
  • O'Hardknocks: (Coughs)...  YOU, JUST TRIED TO KILL ME?! AND I WAS PROMISED YOU WERE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES?! YOU HAVE FAILED YOUR EVALUATION!!!! GOOD DAY!!! (He leaves)
  • Twilight:... I can't believe you, Shore! Haven't I set a better example that's that?!
  • Shore: I-I'm sorry, he just failed Sandy for no reason!
  • Twilight: Be that as it may, that's no excuse. I'm very disappointed in you. (She leaves as Shore sunk back underwater crying)

Skyceria's room.

  • Skyceria: "Tra-la-la-la-la-la! (Whistles). La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Whisle while you work! (Whisles, as it was seen that some forest creatures were sprusing up her forest-growthed room) Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!"
  • O'Hardknocks and Twilight entered the room as O'Hardknocks gasped!
  • O'Hardknocks: "WHY ARE THERE FILTHY ANIMALS AND PLANT LIFE IN SCHOOL GROUNDS?! (The Animals stopped in shock, as Skyceria gasped!)...."
  • Skyceria: ".... Mister, please, they were only helping to make my room more presentable to you."
  • O'Hardknocks: "PRESENTABLE?! THIS ROOM LOOKS LIKE IT WAS GROSSLY NEGLECTED?! THERE'S TREES AND PLANTS AND FLOWERS GROWING INSIDE YOUR ROOM, YOUNG LADY?!"
  • Starlight: "Will you calm down, it's part of Peryton culture. Or, ya know, deers in general, for that matter."
  • O'Hardknocks: "THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR SO MANY REGULATIONS THIS VIOLATES?! YOU FORGET THAT THIS IS PONY SOCITY, YOUNG MISS?! WE DON'T HAVE TREES GROWING INSIDE BUILDINGS?! ESPEICALLY NOT SCHOOL?!"
  • Skyceria: "(Starts wimpering) But, but, it makes me feel at home."
  • O'Hardknocks: "THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STAYED IN THE WILDS, YOU SAVAGE?! (Skyceria's animal friends got angry at that and growled).... Wha-oh."
  • The Animals charged and began attacking and mauling the screaming O'Hardknocks as Twilight and Starlight step abit back!

A mauling later.

  • O'Hardknocks' suit was in ruins and the bended Graduation Hat's even more bended....
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... None, of this, is, winning, me, OVER?!"
  • Starlight escourts O'Hardknocks out as Twilight gave a stern and disappointed stare at Skyceria.
  • Skyceria: "..... Twilight, I meant for to impress him with how clean my room is."
  • Twilight: "Sadly, to him, a room like this will never impress him, even if it was clean. (Leaves)...."
  • Skyceria started to cry as the Animals comferted her.

Quartz' room.

  • Quartz was seen making a bunch of cupcakes with gems on them.
  • Quartz: "This will surely wow the evaluater guy. Gem Cupcakes are delcious."
  • ???: Hello, Quartz Fume. (O'Hardknocks came in)... You know why I'm here?
  • Quartz: Yes, sir. Please, help yourself. (Hands him a cupcake as Twilight was shocked as O'Hardknocks bit into it only for his teeth to cartoonishly shatter and a tear to appear in his eye)......
  • Starlight: (Clenched teeth) PONIES DO NOT EAT GEMS!!!
  • Quartz:... (Chuckles)...... Can you remove them?

Later...

  • Twilight: (As Quartz had failed her evaluation) Ugh!! What a nightmare!!
  • O'Hardknocks: Your highness, this is deplorable. The other interracial students are no better. Shore tried to drown me, Skyceria thinks plants are completely sanitary for a room, and the young dragon destroyed my teeth with gems?!
  • Twilight: I am so sorry, sir!
  • O'Hardknocks: Don't waste my time, 'your highness'. This Gaster person had BETTER exceed my expectations. (They approach his dorm as comically cartoonish commotion was heard inside as Ocellus pretending to be Gaster appeared)
  • "Gaster": Hello, Mr. O'Hardknocks. Glad you could finally make it.
  • O'Hardknocks:... This must be such an occasion that you're this well mannored, because your permanent record says you mistrust royalty and/or all athority figures like Twilight because of situations like the Seaquestria incident.
  • "Gaster": Well, um, yes, I wouldn't want the school to be ruined in reputation. I do want to understand friendship more since I-
  • O'Hardknocks: Have nowhere else to go because Pharynx forced you out?... Young man, why don't you show me how tough you are?
  • "Gaster":... What? (O'Hardknocks was about to write something down) Okay, okay!!... Uh... (She punches down a crystal from the wall weakly)... Tadah!... I, kinda didn't want to wreck any of the place.
  • O'Hardknocks: Ah, I see. Good point. Well, Gaster, I have one last question for you.
  • "Gaster": Um... Sure, what?
  • O'Hardknocks:... (He smacks off the disguise) DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT?!? HUH?!
  • Twilight: OCELLUS!
  • O'Hardknocks: YOU ARE PATHETIC, YOU COMPLETELY MISGUIDED GRUB!! NOCREATURE AS TOUGH AS GASTER WOULD HAVE SUCH A POOR TONE OF VOICE, WOULD JITTER LIKE A NERVOUS WRECK, OR SUDDENLY GIVE A S*** ABOUT TWILIGHT RIGHT AWAY?! I DEMAND TO SEE THE REAL GASTER, NOW!!!
  • Gaster: (Did this after freeing himself from the closet by shapeshifting into a bugbear, only in his own voice)
Max Rebo's Got a Gig Robot Chicken Adult Swim

Max Rebo's Got a Gig Robot Chicken Adult Swim

  • Gaster: AHHH, COME ON, THIS IS ANNOYING, GAAH!! *Smash* NOOOOOOOOO!!! MAN, F***, I WAS GONNA MAKE IT!! How am I supposed to impress that bastard so I can stay at this hellhole I have left to call home, man?! MATHAF****R, MAN, C'MON!!! (Kicks a shard of his bed) AHHHH, NO, MY BED'S BUSTED TOO?! THE BED'S F****D, THE ENTIRE ROOM IS F****D, MOTHERF****R, MAN, I GOT A RUINED EVALUATION, MAAAN!!! What the f*** were you thinking, Pretty Eyes?! I was trying to help, I wasn't going to wreck this!!!
  • Ocellus: Look, I can explain-
  • Gaster: YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN JACK!!!! I WANTED TO HELP BECAUSE I'VE GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TRUST ME?! UGGGGH, YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATING!!!!... I need some time alone. (Buzzes off)
  • O'Hardknocks:...... Well clearly Gaster wasn't the bad influence I feared he was... But it's going in the report that nocreature else in the school thinks so. Trust issues and the fact that they think I'm stupid enough to fall for what's so obviously an attempt to cheat a good report? All you have done, Miss Ocellus, is prove my point. Such dishonesty and mistrust. Gaster would've passed if you hadn't interfered.
  • Ocellus: WELL HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?!
  • O'Hardknocks:... Well, Princess Twilight, I have seen everything about the interracial students. What a disappointment. UGGGGGGGGGGHH!!! I hate what to imagine what the Facilty are like now that they're next! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to freshen up in the washroom. (Storms off)
  • Twilight: (Looks angrily at Ocellus)... What gives, Ocellus?!
  • Ocellus: "Gallus putted me up to it, I swear! Given Gaster's bad hapit to not respect athority, we were worried that-"
  • Twilight: Say no more. Now, by all means, I know Gaster wasn't much to behaive around athority figures, BUT he DOES have a sense of knowing when not to let his bias COMPLETELY rule him! He ironicly understood that O'Hardknocks had to be made the exception, because he rekindised that O'Hardknocks wasn't risk-free to disrespect! I know his interaction with the Glass Dragon left alot to be desired, but he came to know better since then! Even if it WAS Gallus' idea, it still hurted Gaster's feelings that you weren't compident about him meeting O'Hardknocks, his usual distrust for athority figures aside, as understandable as that is!
  • Ocellus: "(Starts showing tears) But-"
  • Twilight: No need to further explain yourself. You and the others had good intentions, but it's obvious that YOU ALL have much more room for improvement then I thought. You and your friends have detention for the week after this. (She leaves, leaving Ocellus to cry in shame)

French Narrator: Meanwhile...

  • Soothsayer: (She was transformed into an exact replica of Nurse Care Giver)... I am actually impressed you chose me as the decoy.
  • Prism: It's perfect. But the accent and voice need to be changed.
  • Icky: "No need for magic, kiddo. We can give her one of Sandy's inventions, The Voiceo-Disguseo!"
  • Sandy: "Aw shucks, I'm flattered Icky, but, I must warn that it's still in very exspearimental stages."
  • Lord Shen: "Well I'm afraid that now will have to be the perfect time for a test run, or else the old fool will do something we're ALL going to regret."
  • Sandy: "Fair point. (Sandy brings out the device and hands it to Soothsayer). I was able to implant some strain of hair from the Nurse, so you would have her exact voice, Soothsayer. Just keep in mind that you need to practice speaking like her, cause as much as O'Hardknocks trusts Care Giver, and that he doesn't have magic cabailities so he can't sense'im, don't mean he's stupid. O'Hardknocks sounds like the kind of guy that pays close attention to character detail since he's from an intelligent family after all."
  • Soothsayer: "Alchourse. I just need to know what is the Nurse's general personality."
  • Prism: "Well, based on Stanly's words, she's nice and kind beyond words. So, basicly, act nice and kind to him. Which, may be hard, cause, he is very cranky and mean."
  • Soothsayer: "Oh, don't worry about that... I once knew someone who was worse. (Looks at Shen)....."
  • Lord Shen: "..... AW COME ON, I WASN'T THAT BAD?!..... Was I?"
  • Mantis: "Yeaaaah, see, there's.... Wreaking Po's village, usurping the stewerdship of the Kung Fu Council over Gongmen, OFFING MASTER RHINO, having your guys steal things from villages, pretty much wrecking your family tower, and threatening to congure China AND Destroy Kung Fu? Honestly, the fact that you were nice to Kairi as a kid was pretty much the only redeeming factor here!"
  • Lord Shen: "..... Some of you are still gonna hold that against me, are you?"
  • Icky:...... (Did this)
Heavy yes

Heavy yes

  • Lord Shen:... (Sighs) And we were getting along so well over the years.
  • Soothsayer: Well, I must be off.... (She teleported away)
  • Boss Wolf:... Quick learner.
  • Prism: ("Girls? Found Pinkie yet?")
  • Scootaloo: ("No, she's not in her class nor castle room. She's not even at Sugarcube Corner.")
  • Prism: ("What?! She HAD to be there!! Where else would she be?")
  • Sweetie Belle: ("I don't know, okay?! Wait.... There's a note.... "Off to greet Maud at her cave. Be back soon."... Are...")
  • Applebloom: ("... You...")
  • Scootaloo: ("KIDDING ME?!?")
  • Applebloom: ("She must've thought she'd be there to greet before the evaluation.")
  • Scootaloo: ("************!!!")
  • Applebloom/Sweetie Belle: ("LANGUAGE!!")
  • Scootaloo: ("WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DANG CAVE?!")
  • Prism: "("Well ain't this a complete turn-around?")"

Maud's Cavern Paradise.

  • Pinkie was hopping all over the place to fid Maud.
  • Pinkie: "MAAAAAAAUDDDD! OH MAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDD?! Where are ya Maud?.... Wait, wasn't there something super impourent we both gotta do?.... (Inside Pinkie's Brain)...."

Pinkie's Brain.

  • A series of Pinkie Pies were seen doing office work.
  • Boss Pinkie: "(ZOOMS IN) HEADS UP, MORONS?! MANAGEMENT HAS REPORTED THAT AN IMPOURENT DAY WAS FORGOTTEN?! I NEED RESULTS, LADIES?!"
  • Pinkies: "MA'AM YES MA'AM?! (They began looking it up!)."
  • Pinkie 8: "WAIT, WAIT WAIT! I FOUND SOMETHING! I got something about the Friendship School going through an Evaluation with Mudbrair's Uncle!"
  • Boss Pinkie: "WAY THE GO, NUMBER 8, YOU EARNED YOUR PAY!"
  • Pinkie 9: "Well, tecnecally, you don't really pay us, and we don't actselly work for you. (The Boss Pinkie was dumbstruck) We're just abstractive imaginations in replacement to how brains realisiticly work so it's not to bored the kids with sciencetific accreatecy, and that this is basicly a Spongebob Reference because this is basicly an unoffictalised Crossover Fan Project afterall....."
  • Boss Pinkie: "..... One more crack like that, and it's the unemployment line, Number 9!"
  • Pinkie 9: "NO PLEASE MADAM! I HAVE KIDS?!"
  • Boss Pinkie: Goody. Plus, we don't have kids. We're all just abstractive imaginations in replacement to how brains realisiticly work so it's not to bored the kids with sciencetific accreatecy, and that this is basicly a Spongebob Reference because this is basicly an unoffictalised Crossover Fan Project. (Pinkie 9 was dumbstruck by that) Keep up the good work. (The Pinkies cheer for an annoyed Pinkie 9)

Reality

  • Pinkie:... OH SNAP!!!! I FORGOT WHY HE WAS HERE!!! (Chuckles) This silly old noggin. OH SNAP!!! I GOTTA GET TO THE SCHOOL!!
  • Applebloom: (The CMC were teleported there) Oh, good, you're still here.
  • Scootaloo: Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find somepony like you?!
  • Pinkie: "Well I am champion of Hide-N-Seek 20 years in a row!"
  • Scootaloo: GEE, I WONDER WHY!!!! (Pinkie pauses)... Sorry, just a little frustrated we couldn't find you. We were here earlier with our campers and we need to tell you something.
  • Pinkie: Yeah?
  • Scootaloo: It's about O'Hardknocks and Mudbriar.
  • Pinkie: Ohhh, you already met.
  • Scootaloo: Yeah, we wanted to talk about having other creatures that can get cutie marks enrolled in our camp, but that's not what we want to tell you... I don't know how to say this, but...... Mudbriar is a double agent.
  • Pinkie:......... (Laughs hysterically) OH MY GOODNESS, FOR KIDS THAT SUDDENLY SOUND SO SERIOUS, YOU SURE MAKE SOME FUNNY JOKES! (Laughs)... Wait... Oh no, you ARE serious! I, how did you find out?
  • Applebloom: We went spelunking underneath the camp after Maud told us about the geo thingies beneath, and we overheard Mud and Hard talking about him changing his mind about a mission involving pretending to be Maud's boyfriend just to help his uncle build a better friendship school, and he's threatening his pet twig to do it, but... Clearly he doesn't want to do it anymore because he actually DOES love your sister now. We have been trying to warn you ever since.
  • Pinkie:...... (Her mane deflated) No. No, no, no, no, no. This... I don't believe it.
  • Sweetie Belle: We're sorry. We want to help you. Mudbriar doesn't want this mud. We have to help them.
  • Pinkie: But... This is going to break Maud's heart.
  • Sweetie Belle: If there's any visible heart to anyone except you to begin with.
  • Pinkie: We can't let her know.
  • Scootaloo: Obviously.
  • Pinkie: How are we going to save their relationship?
  • Applebloom: We don't know, but we'll figure it out...... Somehow.
  • Pinkie: "But O'Hardknocks is likely already at the school by now! And knowing what a grouchy pants he likely is, he likely failed the students in a series of bad happencstances or mis-steps! There's no telling how he's going to react to the teachers! ESPEICALLY BUZZORD?!"
  • Applebloom: "Don't worry, we got the Lougers on the case! The best we can do now, is keep an eye on things."
  • (Prism): ("Girls? Soothsayer is disguised as Jasmina and is heading for O'Hardknocks.")
  • Pinkie: GHOOOOOOST!!!!
  • (Prism): ("... (Laughs) I see you found her. Did you tell her everything?")
  • Scootaloo: ("Yeah, but we're trying to figure it out.")
  • Pinkie: Wait, I know your voice. PRISM HORN!!! You're a ghost now?!
  • (Prism): No, I have learned a telepathy spell. I got my cutie mark, and-
  • Pinkie: YOU DID?!?
  • Applebloom: Yeah, and so did two others-
  • (Prism): Wait... M-Theory called me. He said he got his cutie mark.
  • CMC/Pinkie: WHAT?!
  • (Prism): He says it's an atom symbol that represents knowing things to the tiniest detail.
  • Pinkie: (Gasps) OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH, OHMYGOSH!!!!!
  • Applebloom: Wowee! Glad to know the campers can get cutie marks without us. But we need to-
  • (Prism): ("OHHHH, AND AQUAMARINE'S BOYFRIEND POROSITY JUST GOT HIS CUTIE MARK TOO!!! A SPONGE!!! HE CAN CLEAN LIKE A BOSS!!!")
  • Pinkie: (Squeals in joy) A NEW RECORD!!!!
  • Scootaloo: No, it's actually 13.
  • Pinkie: Awwwww!
  • (Prism): ("HOLY EQUESTRIA, WE'RE BLOWING UP HERE!!!! YOU THREE ACTUALLY GOT THE KIDS PUSHING AFTER WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE LEAVING!!!! Jumping Jack, Huckleberry, Hedron, Comedy Gold, Foolhard, Speedy, Genre, AND Blazar just got their cutie marks!!!!")
  • Pinkie: (Squeals extremely comically)
  • Sweetie Belle: 13 AGAIN?!? HOLY EQUESTRIAN GODS, WHAT AN EXTREME COINCIDENCE!!!! SO CLOSE TO A NEW RECORD!!!!
  • (Prism): ("Should I bring them alone now that they can be useful?")
  • Sweetie Belle: ("Not yet. We need to move to a next phase before we can bring anymore. More kids can surely attract attention. Just bring Jasmina here in the cave.")
  • Pinkie: ("Why are you kids speaking by thinking?")
  • (Prism): ("Alright. We'll keep you posted on the way. Bye.")
  • Scootaloo:... My frustration has officially been destroyed.
  • Pinkie: You kids need a big party after this! HUUUGS!! (Hugs the three)
  • Applebloom: Okay okay, let's not forget about Mudbriar with all this joy. We need to do something about his double agent life. Soothsayer has O'Hardknocks out of suspicion, so we have time. Jasmina might have info we can use.
  • Pinkie:... Who's Jasmina?
  • Applebloom:... It's a long story.
  • (Deadpool): "Well that feels like a plot contrivence to get the campers involved into this."
  • (Scroopfan): "Deadpool, just let MSM have this."
  • Pinkie: "Yeah, Wilson, don't spoil this for them by being meta. There's nothing wrong with something like this."
  • (Deadpool): Please, call me Deadpool. My real name seems... Outdated? Is there any other word?
  • Pinkie: Redundant?
  • (Deadpool): RIGHT! Well, good luck. (Poofs away)
  • Pinkie:... So, again, who's Jasmina?...

Meanwhile...

  • O'Hardknocks: (Gurgles comically in the sink) THIS IS SO EXASPERATING!!!! NOT ONE OF THESE STUDENTS ARE WHAT TWILIGHT SAYS THEY ARE!!! THEY DRIVE ME TO MY BREAKING POINT, AND DO NOT SHOW THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP!!! NOPONY IN THE HISTORY OF EQUESTRIA WOULD EVER WANT TO BE AROUND THEM!! THEY EVEN BRING SHAME TO THEIR OWN KIND!!! And most importantly, WHERE THE ******* ******** IS NURSE CARE GIVER?!?
  • Soothsayer: "(With Care Giver's Voice) Don't worry, sir. I'm here. (Arrives as Care Giver)...."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... (Sighs)..... Finally, Care Giver. I need you more then ever now. Those students were a nightmare to me."
  • Soothsayer: I can imagine. (Uses a medical spell to medicate him as he recovers)
  • O'Hardknocks: OHHH, BY ELIXIA, THAT'S THE STUFF!!
  • Soothsayer: So, how did the students go? Did one of them pass?
  • O'Hardknocks: Not in the mood to drone on, so see for yourself. (Soothsayer looks at the reports and sighs)
  • Soothsayer: How disappointing.
  • O'Hardknocks: Exactly! Now that you're here, we can evaluate the faculty. Instead, let's begin with Spiracle, the school's culture teacher. Now, I know there is the Yakhalla one who was the first teacher, but given the student's failure to respect pony customs, I desided to investigate the culture teacher first since he's the one who's suppose to teach customs here. Let's save the one with clear infamy named Buzzord for last.
  • Soothsayer: Well may the Gods help us both.
  • O'Hardknocks: Yes they may.

Spiracle's Classroom

  • Spiracle: Glad that you could be here as a new teaching assistant, Vertex.
  • Another Changeling (Vertex): (Appears as a white, blue, turquoise, and greenish Changeling with 4 tiny orange horns lining her horn, cyan fins and wings, fluorescent jeweled red wing cases, and spring green eyes) Sure thing, Mister Spiracle. Queen Destiny wants to help the school however she can, and sent the smartest 'droness', as Commander Pharynx and Commander Bombus have called me, in to provide for you.
  • Spiracle: Thank you.
  • Vertex: "Though, I must ask. What ever happened to the elder of Thorx's hyberation temple, Labrum?"
  • Spiracle: "(Gets concern)..... (Sighs).... Knowing that my brother is too crafty to ever have a bad run-in with a Dirana, and that the Undead Zombielings could never hurt him because of being close with the Queen, and that he was never around to greet Chrysalis and her Leage Friends, this makes me concerned that he is still out there somewhere.... And that it's only a matter of time before I am to settle things with that inhumble old pest of a fool once more."
  • Vertex: Sad.
  • O'Hardknocks: Spiracle, I presume?
  • Spiracle: Oh, Mr. O'Hardknocks.
  • Vertex: (Scoffs)... What?
  • Spiracle: Vertex, this is your first day, so I'll let you off with a warning. Go if you're unable to keep it together.
  • Vertex: Sorry, sir. (Leaves)
  • Spiracle: That's just my new teaching assistant. Queen Destiny sent her to me as an assist for the school.
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Charming.... Now, onto the matter of business. Tell me, how well do students embrace your teachings of culture..... Namely, Pony ones?"
  • Spiracle: "..... Well, you see, I kinda don't bother with pony culture because Miss Sparkle's friends basicly already cover that, and that we already have alot of Pony Students that already grew up in Pony Culture. I teach more non-pony cultures, so all students can better reckindised customs."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... WELL NO BLOODLY WONDER THE GRIFFIN'S STILL A JERK, THE DRAGONS HAVE NO ABILITY OF RECKINDISING THAT PONIES ARE NOT LIKE THEM, THAT THE FLYING DEER'S ROOM IS PRACTICLY AN INDOOR ZOO, AND THAT THEY HAVE NO AMOUNT OF RESPECT TO ME NOR TRUST IN EACHOTHER?! YOU DO NOTHING TO BRING UNDERSTANDING OF PONY CULTURE TO THEM?!"
  • Spiracle: "Well, again, currently, the majority of my students are ponies. Re-teaching Pony culture would be, redundent, because they already have reckindition to it."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Just as I expected. You're a teacher of BAD hindsight! No question why Desteny sent you an assisent! She has no faith in you?! (Starts writing in his report)."
  • Spiracle: "(Gasps offended)! Excuse me, good sir? Are you calling me an inadiquite teacher, because of a mere refuseal of being repetitive?"
  • O'Hardknocks: Well, if it's broke, it's broke.
  • Spiracle: Ugh! This is a rigged evaluation! You're just too overanalical of everything you see! You don't deserve to be an evaluator, and you should NEVER, represent the EEA! You're NO different than Neighsay! In fact, I THINK YOU'RE JUST FAILING EVERYCREATURE IN THE SCHOOL BY USING THEIR WEAKNESSES AGAINST EACH OTHER!!!
  • O'Hardknocks: Oh, am I rigging this evaluation? Nurse Care Giver? Give him my information.
  • Soothsayer: "Oh, alchourse, though, kindly remind me of it first."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Got confused)..... Nurse Care Giver, we discussed this back on the train!"
  • Soothsayer: "Well, it was just, our train ride was very lovely, and I drowned myself into the scenery...."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... DAMN IT, CARE GIVER, YOU'RE USUALLY MORE ATTENTIVE THEN THAT?! Ugh! Fine! I'll say it myself!"
  • Spiracle: "(Gives a very unamused stare)..... Well? I'm waiting."
  • O'Hardknocks: Don't rush me, you bug! I was the EEA's best evaluator before Chancellor Wellplay's cousin.
  • Spiracle: Really? Because I seem to recall in your record that you were never able to impress your mother. Maybe what I stated was the reason Eightball had to replace you.
  • O'Hardknocks: Okay, why are we changing the subject? This isn't about me. This is about you.
  • Spiracle: Well my evaluation and the evaluation of the students shouldn't count because you show no reason for us to believe you are a good example for the EEA, if as of now there ARE any good exsamples outside of Wellplay and Young master Eight. Unless you give an explanation, I must humbly request on behalf of the students you failed for a better evaluator.
  • ???: Because he DID used to be a good evaluator. (Cozy came)
  • Twilight: Cozy?
  • Cozy: Mister Spiwacle, my famiwy knew him. He's only this way because he lost his dear mommy and never got to see how pwoud she would've been. He's only trying. I... Don't think you're very nice to him, because he's from an organization my famiwy held together. We know him.
  • Spiracle: Miss Cozy Glow, this does not concern you. This is between adults.
  • Cozy: Well you aren't respecting my gweat uncle for his choices.
  • Spiracle: "Duh, Miss Cozy, by all means, I am not disrespecting University at all, I am only saying that O'Hardknocks leaves alot to be a desired to ever being considered a compident evaluater and-"
  • Cozy: Whether you meant it or not is irrwelient. He chose him to evaluate the school. Are you saying he made the wong choice? You could get fired for saying that. That does not represent the school at all.
  • Spiracle: "(Blabbering in bewilderment and confusion), I wasn't trying to disrespect University at all, I was only saying that O'Hardknocks is a questionable Evaluator on his own merits, independent of University's opinion on him! I-"
  • Twilight: Spiracle... She's right. University brought him here. You're kind of questioning his choices here.
  • Spiracle: Miss Sparkle, please, I know O'Hardknocks is impourent to ease E.E.A. issues on us, but I'm afraid O'Hardknocks is a losing battle here! I would never intentionally disrespect University on anything, it's just that I just believe that O'Hardknocks himself doesn't match University's expectations! If anything, he's the one disrespecting University's wishes, I am only pointing it out!
  • Starlight: Mister Spiracle, I think we're done here. You got us all worked up.
  • Spiracle: W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Wait! This, this is a grave misdunderstanding! Is this school suppose to avoid such things? I mean-
  • O'Hardknocks: I've heard enough. Far-fetched accusations, and disrespect to University? You failed your evaluation, Mister Spiracle. Good day. (They left except for Cozy)
  • Spiracle:... Mss Cozy, why did you come to that grouch's defence? It's painfully clear that O'Hardknocks was far from a proper represention of the E.E.A., or more like, a perfect image of the tainted side of them! Why did you bemirched my honor by making it look like I cared little for University's decidion making skills? I mean, I understand your family had set their hearts onto the E.E.A., but, O'Hardknocks looks like the type that's part of the problem!
  • Cozy: It was nothing personal, sir. It's just what University wants. O'Hardknocks was specifically brought up by the superintendent. Let's not forget that. You really should think before you put your funny-looking eyes where they shouldn't be, Mister Spiwacle. Just... Didn't want you to get in twouble. (Spiracle sighed) You'll thank me one day. (Leaves)
  • Spiracle: ".... I'm starting to detect a great deception worthy of a tainted Changeling here."

Entropy's Classroom

  • Entropy was seen preparing some dragon sneese trees for an upcoming class sesson.
  • Entropy: "Discord's little escapade gave me the perfect inspiration for my next class: Dragon Sneese Trees and how to treat dragons effected by them. Oh Entropy, you're a bloody genius! That's why Mischief choose you to work in his Haunted Castle after all! (Sighs in content)... My brain is such so wonderful, I amaze even myself."
  • ???: Well, not even a second in, and already, the one called Macabre screws up big time. (O'Hardknocks appeared with the others writing a report) Takes inspiration from bad influences, and endangers dragon students.
  • Macabre: Uh, hello there, Mister O'Hardknocks. Uh... Who are you talking to?
  • O'Hardknocks: Oh, the genius who thought the infamous Discord was inspirational and putting in an artificially-bred plant with the most powerful dragon allergens in Equestria- WHO THE F*** DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING TO, ASSWIPE?!
  • Macabre:... The Dragon-Sneeze Trees?
  • O'Hardknocks:... Exhibits clear lack of awareness. Hmm.
  • Macabre: Oh, please, where's your sense of humor?
  • O'Hardknocks: I forgot how to laugh decades ago. Another report, jokes around unprofessionally.
  • Macabre: Ohhh-hohoho!! And I suppose you expect my kind, or at least the kind I'm a part of now, to be 'professional'? What kind of evaluator are you, racist?
  • O'Hardknocks: You used to be a pony. You should act like one.
  • Macabre: Dude, I haven't been a pony in eons. Entropy Whirlwind is technically long dead.
  • O'Hardknocks:... Why am I even wasting my time here? I should've expected this from a Draconequus.
  • Macabre: Well GLAD to have you over. I didn't prepare much for you anyway, because you ponies always 'expect' things from a Draconequus. We're meant for chaos. For the member of a bureau of education, you REALLY need to get an education. There's the door.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Hmmpth! (Leaves)...."
  • Starlight: "..... Seriously, Entropy?"
  • Entropy: "Oh don't be too disappointed, we Draconequui aren't much for meeting Pony ideals 100% of the time."
  • Twilight: "Ugh. At least your failure was expected.... Though not any less painful that he already failed the students and Spiracle."
  • Entropy: "(Surprised face as an Arrrooooga sound effect was heard)...... SPIRACLE FAILED?! But, that old bug is one of the nicer teachers?! How does that make sense?!"
  • Starlight: "He, inadvertingly questioned University's decidion with O'Hardknocks."
  • Entropy: "..... Inadvertent or not, I can't nessersarly say I have any faith for the old coot either if he thinks that old cod fish is a compident evaluator!"
  • Twilight: "Entropy, please. You know how much we need his approval to ease E.E.A. issues down the road."
  • Entropy: "..... I mean this with the upmost respect, but, don't be too disappointed if University ends up being wrong about that guy. (Resumes preparing his lesson as Twilight and Starlight became unsure now.)"

Yakhalla's Classroom.

  • Yakhalla was seen exspearimenting with a magical encantation that is magicly malmitulating a lump of clay and turning it into a beautiful Yaklandian vase with realitive ease.
  • The present pony students stared with awe at this.
  • Yakhalla: ".... And that students, was the anichent clay shaper magic of the Minotaurs back when they used to have magic. It allowed them to be very effictent and capable to do great things at the time. In laymen's terms, Minotaur Magic allowed Minotaurs to litterally build cities in a week since day 1."
  • Unicorn Student: "Minotaur magic sounded amazing! It's just, a shame it's not around anymore, apart from tecnecally you."
  • Yakhalla: "Alas, that is true. The true last magical capable Minotaur had recently assended into the heavens, whereas I, am but a hybrid."
  • Unicorn Student 2: "Show us more Minotaur Magic stuff."
  • Yakhalla: "(Sighs happly), The eagerness to learn, never fails to amuse. Okay students, pay attention, this next Minotaur Encantation, can allow, the creation of life. (Magicly summons up some moldable magic energy)... Okay, let's see here..... (Starts shaping it) The head should come first, then the streaching out of the body, then the tail must be adjusted, the ears need flattening out, then the fore and backlegs, and finally, (Makes a magical heart)..... The gift of life. (Gives the figure the heart, of which flashed, and reveiled that Yakhalla had brought a cute little pink poodle covered in blue-outlined yellow stars on it, as it wimpered and yipped, of which the students d'awwed at!)..... And behold.... The first creature, (Places the cute pup down), in a long time, brought forth by Minotaur magic. (The Pup went up to the students being immeasurely cute and fondled over by the students). And alchourse, Minotaur Magic had allowed minotaurs to have created creatures greater then this cute little.... Currently gender ambiguious pink star-covered poodle. As such, it saved the Minotaurs the trouble having to tame and domesticated creatures naterolly, and created animals, pets and beasts of burden that had automaticly been tamed by virtue of being created. They would be magicly ammuned to sickness, heal quickly from any injury, and virtually are without the ills that plauge naterol animals, like going rogue or suffer from a genetic defect. Alcourse, granted, Minotaurs back then often had to ask Gaia Everfree's permission to keep the creatures, else they would be undone by her personally. (The Students gasped)..... But don't worry. I earned Gaia Everfree's approval for one creature for the classroom if I was asked to. So don't worry. The little darling is safe."
  • The Students cheered as an animal lover unicorn student hugged the poodle as it was licking happly.
  • Unicorn: MORE, MORE, MORE!! MAKE A CLAYMAN SENTIENT!!!
  • Yakhalla:... Well, I haven't tried that since sentience from matter is... Unpredictable, but, very well. (Creates a sentient clay figure, but this happened as soon as it came to life)
Camp Camp Holiday Special - A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever Rooster Teeth

Camp Camp Holiday Special - A Camp Camp Christmas, or Whatever Rooster Teeth

7:50-8:08

  • Earth Pony:...... I don't know if I should die laughing, or just faint.
  • Earth Pony #2: That was insane.
  • Yakhalla:... Like I said... Sentient matter is... Unpredictable.
  • ???: "THE BLOODLY DEVIL WAS THAT?!"
  • O'Hardknocks was seen.....
  • Yakhalla: "..... Ohhhhh dear........ I take it, you're the evaluator? My good sir, I promise you, what you had the unfortune to bare witness to, is but a rare instence of a mistake on my part. I promise you, I rarely EVER had a situation like tha-"
  • O'Hardknocks: "YOU ARE TAMPERING WITH THE LAWS OF NATURE, YAKHALLA?! But what did I expected from someone who was, THE YAKOTAUR?! (Writes down on report as Yakhalla was hurt by that reminder)...."
  • Yakhalla: ".... Please, I, I wish not to be reminded of that unfortunate time. He's, not me anymore. HE, only happened because of Berkenridge."
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well I can't say his enfluence is TRUELY gone, Yakhalla, if THAT display's anything to go by?! It may as well be like the Yakotaur was never truely gone?!"
  • Yakhalla looked as if he was fighting back tears as repressed memories started to flood back.
  • Yakhalla: "Please, please stop, THE PAINFUL MEMORIES ARE COMING BACK?! I WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESSED THEM?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Oh, so on top of violating the laws of nature AND once being one of Equestria's anichent threats, you also struggle with PTSD? Ughhh! Miss Sparkle, talented as he is, I don't think he's mentally fit to be a teacher!"
  • Yakhalla screamed, as in his vision, it looked as if the Yakotaur was slowly coming torwords him as the room got distorted and dark!
  • Yakhalla: "NO?! STAY BACK?! STAY BACK?! (Coils up phathicly) NO NO NO?! STAY AWAY!? STAY AWAY?! (Breaks into pitifull sobs)?! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE NO MORE, CREATURE?! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE A BAD MEMORY?!"
  • To everyone else, Yakhalla was just having a bad episode.....
  • Twilight: "..... I take it, Yakhalla still regrets being the Yakotaur."
  • Starlight: "I think we may need to shedgule him a visit from Luna. (Sees how much tears Yakhalla is giving)..... And a very DAMN good visit."
  • The Pony Students feel great empathy for Yakhalla as the first Unicorn Student shedded tears for him.....
  • Punker Pegacus: "..... KICK THAT OLD FART'S ASS FOR MAKING ONE OF THE COOL TEACHERS CRY LIKE A BITCH?!"
  • The Pony Students charged enmasse in a stampede torwords the scared O'Hardknocks as he screamed as they pounce on him and beat him up!
  • O'Hardknocks: "OW, OW, GAAAH, OWWWWWW?! STOP!? YOUR HOOVES ARE COLD?! AND HARD?! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?"
  • Soothsayer: "..... I'm not the only one who feels like we should stop that, correct?"
  • Twilight/Starlight: Gee, ya think?

Later...

  • O'Hardknocks: TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!! WHAT KIND OF LACK OF DISCIPLINE DO YOU HAVE THAT MAKES YOUR STUDENTS THINK THEY CAN BEAT UP AN EVALUATOR?! YOU DO REALIZE THIS IS GOING INTO THE REPORT!!!
  • Twilight: I'm SO, sorry, sir, they just got a little carried away-
  • O'Hardknocks: They got a LOT carried away!
  • Starlight: "To be fair, alot of that violence was out of sympathy for Yakhalla, ya did, kinda pushed his past on him too hard."
  • O'Hardknocks: It changes little of the fact, that they attacked me, for only doing my job?! Your school is not what you say it is, AT ALL!!!! The gym coach had better be different. (They came apawn a Dik-Dik that happened to be transporting some balls and overheard the conversation).
  • Dik-Dik: Oh, you must be the EEA evaluator. Koningin has been expecting you.
  • Soothsayer:... A Dik-Dik?
  • Twilight: Yeah, since Discord caused quite a scene on the sports field with that bugbear while she was absint in trying to hunt down a dragon lion that was attacking villages, Koningin thought that some assistance was needed. So, meet her assistant coach, Aloe Juice.
  • Dik-Dik (Aloe): Hello-hello!
  • O'Hardknocks:... First off, how many of the staff need assistants now?
  • Starlight: "Hey, to be fair, it's not all of them, it was just Spiracle, Koningin, and Buzzord ESPEICALLY when we find the perfect people. Spoonful already has Pines and some Dragon Moths, Yakhalla, PREVIOUSLY, did well on his own, Entropy can always just clone himself for assisence, Barktrot has her familier, and Electross can always call apawn the aide of a repurposed Team Nefarious bot for assistence.
  • O'Hardknocks: Good to take note of. Second, the smallest antelope ever, is a gym coach assistant? Her kind are barely good enough to be a light snack to a bloodly Manitcore! Espeically so to the Grasslands Counterpart!
  • Aloe: Hmph. You biggies always think you know everything. Well, come follow me to the gymnasium, and feast your eyes. (She leads the group of to where the Gym is)

Koningin's Gym

  • Aloe: (Shows them students training with some entry level creatures as she acrobatically approached Koningin) Kon, the evaluator is- DWAH!!! (She fell into a pile of balls as her head was stuck in a volleyball) UGH, I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!
  • Koningin was seen overlooking a student impressively wresling down a Cragadile with little need of aide as she looks to see the Evaluator.
  • Koningin: "It is a pleasure to see your arrival, sir."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Ya know, I'd complain about you bringing beasts and monsters into the school, but luckly for you, this time, I anpisipated such, since you brought a litteral Rock Python as your first time in the class. And that so far the students are actselly handling themselves well. (A less brave student was seen cowering before a confused Parasprite)..... The majority, anyway."
  • Koningin: "Oh, that's only Nancy Pants, she's actselly trying to be brave, but held back by her own weakness. That's why she came to my gym. (Gets Aloe unstuck). Aloe, go help Nancy out."
  • Aloe: "(Salues) Yes ma'am. (Charges off)."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Ya know, I anticipated that you were one of the very compident ones. Why need an assistent?"
  • Koningin: "Oh, make no mistake, I am perfectly capable of training these untrained youths myself. However, I ended up learning that in my absince, Discord broke the Bugbear out of Tartarus to motivate the students to run laps even after exhaustion from another session."
  • Starlight: Not to mention insulting me right in my face. He technically deserved that banishment Kamehameha.
  • Koningin: "Beside the point. I felt shame that I wasn't there."
  • O'Hardknocks: "To protect them?"
  • Koningin: "To remind them of what I taught them and have them fight off that mishapen beast! I actselly felt dishonored they ran away from that creature!"
  • Twilight and Starlight face-hoof!
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... You do realised one of them almost DIED, right?!"
  • Koningin: "Well, by no means I'm ignorent to this, but Starlight was present to prevent the Bugbear from claiming prey, which thus retreated and was hunted down by Miss Sweetie Drops who speicaleses in hunting such creatures down. Rest assured that I would not be without remorse if that Bugbear was more successful. That is why I had begrudgingly brought Aloe here against my sense of superiority and have her aide me. I feel as if these students need even more help to combat creatures then I expected. I need to teach them that they must learn to be their own protectors, for they can't always expect a beam of magic to save them a hundred percent of the time."
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... It does not distract from the fact, that you are ASHAMED of them, of only not wanting to be mangled to a bloodly mess by the claws of that Tartarus prisoner! Ya can't exactly be ashamed of them for only wanting to live!"
  • Koningin: ".... With as much respect as possable, good sir, I didn't meant I was dishonored by THAT logic. I meant that I had failed as a teacher if their first instinct is to run from any threat and not combat it."
  • O'Hardknocks: "WELL EXCUSE US EQUESTRIANS, and certain others, FOR NOT WANTING TO RISK OUR NECKS AGAINST DANGERIOUS BEASTS FOR CHEAP THRILLS LIKE YOU GRASSLANDIAN SAVAGES?!"
  • Koningin: "(Stares offended)...... You besmirched my honor?"
  • O'Hardknocks: "YOU HEARD ME, YOU GRASSLANDS PRIMITIVE?! Equestria is not like the Grasslands."
  • Koningin: UGH, YOU EQUESTRIANS CONTINUE TO DEFILE THE NAME OF POTAMIA JUST LIKE YOU DID TO GRIFFIA AND CENTAURIA!!
  • Twilight: (O'Hardknocks was insulted)... Yeah, names like 'Griffinmainia' and 'Centaurmainia' have been considered a 'disrespectful', apparently. 'Equestrian Grasslands', isn't an exception.
  • O'Hardknocks: Well, that's their problem. We'll call their lands whatever we want since these guys expect us to behave like we're on their land. Well, "Madam", THIS IS NOT YOUR LAND! WE DON'T CONSTINTLY NEED TO RISK OUR LIFE AND LIMBS FIGHTING DANGERIOUS MONSTERS?!"
  • Koningin: "Good sir, I am simply training these students to be ready for a fight!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "BUT ISN'T THIS A "FRIENDSHIP" SCHOOL, AND NOT A BEAST FIGHTER SCHOOL?!"
  • Koningin: "Well sometimes, NOT ALL PROBLEMS ARE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A PETTY BOND SQUABBLE OR A TERMOILED NATION?! Sometimes, these students NEED to defend themselves, because some problems stem to tyrants and warlords and that of a monster problem! In fact, was Equestria NOT almost doomed to such a tyrant in one of the Storm Clan because they had no ability to defend themselves?! I respect that your friendship religen has mostly pasifived your people, but even a peaceful nation needs a sense of self-defence, or else they would be easy prey to conquesters or monsters that care little of such things! Your royal guards weren't present during the Storm King invasion, and Tempest destroyed the Mane Six's most powerful magic in the blink of an eye that ended up being restored sometime after in an unrelated event about a titantic dragon. You ponies can't just expect a friendship mission to go without a fight, that's foolish."
  • O'Hardknocks: FOOLISH?!
  • Aloe: Well yeah! The problems of the world aren't limited to just resolving simple disagreements or repairing nations. They're only minor symptoms, of far more deadlier problems. It's a dangerous world out there. You kinda made yourself look stupid with what you just said.
  • Koningin: That's why it is my solemn pledge to ready the students for the fights of their lives. The Storm Clan can be on the horizon, along with equil or greater threats, some, not always of this world, or universe for that matter. We need to be ready for anything. Equestria can no longer be easy to conquer. The rest of the world needs the magic of friendship.
  • O'Hardknocks: Be that as it may, I do NOT appresiate your comments all the same, GRASSLANDER?! Unrealistic expectations on ponies, racist comments, and direct insults. Need I say more? Failure.
  • Koningin:... This evaluation is rigged.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Well MAYBE DON'T TRY TO EXPECT PONIES TO BE WARRIORS?! (Leaves)...."
  • Koningin: ".... Miss Sparkle, I know your heart is set on easeing the E.E.A. away from being on Neighsay's side, but I fear he mght not be a good start for that."
  • Starlight: "We know. But, he is their prime evaluator, and, currently, he's the only one they would take seriously till Yaysay finds someone they would respect just as much!"
  • Koningin: "Is the E.E.A. not completely disbanned?"
  • Twilight: "Well, only as a functional athority involving the prime chancellers and certain high rankers. The E.E.A. has a sub-council that operates independently from the main group in case it were to be, compromised. It's so Schools that were under the E.E.A.'s wings, don't suddenly fall apart. It's not just nessersarly the Chancellors and High Rankers we need their blessings.... It's the Sub-Council, and, though not heavily ingrained into a Fear Wars mindset, they were, equilly unhappy that the School of Friendship defied the E.E.A.'s athority and caused the disbansion. And realitively, they still have some powers to shut down the school if need be, or at least, keep it from being reckindised."
  • Koningin: "They, have a sub-council?"
  • Starlight: "And a still powerful one independent of whether or not the E.E.A. as a whole is active. That's why, we're kinda letting him be this nasty with people, even if we don't liked it. O'Hardknocks still has their ears, even dispite that he is no longer fit for High Chancellorship."
  • Koningin: "..... (Sighs)..... Then this school, is in dire trouble, young Sparkle and Glimmer."
  • Twilight: Well it usually is. Or at least, will be in more trouble.

Spoonful's Classroom

  • Spoonful was seen having a tea break after another class sesson was done as he was enjoying an old book.
  • O'Hardknocks with Twilight and Starlight came in.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Are you the one refered to as Professor Spoonful, the qouted, "History Teacher"?"
  • Spoonful: Well yes, Mr. O'Hardknocks, after-all, we are in the history class. (Chuckles gently), Just alittle observational humor.
  • O'Hardknocks: ".... Humor has no place in history class."
  • Spoonful: (Clears his throat) Ahem! Fair observation, good sir.
  • O'Hardknocks: "So explain yourself. What is with that big chest?"
  • Spoonful: Oh, but alcourse, Mr. O'Hardknocks, this is a chest that currently holds some generiously given artifacts from Canterlot itself after all. (Opens it to reveil the artifacts) These are six artifacts of the six prime races are tokens of their culture. The Amulet of Aurora which can manipulate tides which it's namesake wielder made to combat the kraken despot Squirk long ago, the Talisman of Mirage which one of the most famous namesake Changelings in history wielded in the surface fight between Destiny and Chrysalis, The Helm of Yksler who used it to fight during the war against Minotaurs with the power of 100 of them, well, in prelore to the Yaks and the Minotaurs ever establishing the allience that brought forth Yakhalla, I mean. There's aslo the Crown of King Grover, which he obtained during his first battle against the Arimaspi when it's leader intended to use it's magic to enslave the griffins and steal all their treasure, Knuckerbocker's Shell which was used by it's namesake dragon forger with the help of a magical sea dragon to call a dragon army into battle, and Clover the Clever's Cloak, which was obtained where Clover was last seen in a wasteland temple of black ice.
  • O'Hardknocks: Hmm. Very impressive. Are these artifacts... Still effective?
  • Spoonful: Well, offictally they haven't exactly been properly tested, which is understandably because with some of them, they may work TOO well, but as we all know with old era magic, it's a possibility. These artifacts are being looked after by me, my assistant Pines, and my Dragon Moths.
  • O'Hardknocks: Dragon Moths?... Aren't those creatures potentially dangerous just like their Butterdragon and literal Dragonfly cousins?
  • Spoonful: Oh be assured, that's not the case if they're well trained. They are good guardians of these relics.
  • O'Hardknocks: Well, still. As impressively and mentally compident as you, you're still playing a dangerious game with those artifacts. Relics this dangerous could be hazardous. (Writing report) Tamed dragon moths and keeps potentially dangerous relics.
  • Pines: Hey now Man, we got this covered.
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... (Writes) And an assistent that doesn't know his place."
  • Spoonful: "We're really counting Pines' lack of permissional speaking into this?"
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Writing) Of which is being encouraged and defended by the professor."
  • Spoonful: "(Bewildered) Duh, duh, oh! But you said you were impressed by me!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "Look at it like this. Ya did better then the others. Spiracle disrespected University's athority, Macabre takes inspirations from bad influences, Yakhalla may have PTSD, and Koningin has false expectations!"
  • Spoonful: "Well, with Spiracle, I'm sure he never intended such, in fact, I felt as if that it likely involved you! And with Entropy? (Scoffs), He's a Draconequus, of course he would take after Discord! He's the son of royalty! Yakhalla..... Well admittedly, I'll see if I'll have Preyer help him with that, and Koningin primarly aims to make students capable to defend themselves, I wouldn't call her expectations, "Unrealistic", just, too ambitious! I'm surprised your being this negitive to us!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "I know. And I haven't even met Professor Buzzord yet. And he is the one I EXPECT to be a letdown in this school, but, honestly, barely apart from you, the others are disappointments. (Leaves)....."
  • Spoonful: "(Stared bewildered).... (Faints as Pines catches him)....."
  • Pines: ".... Ohhhh boy. Yakhalla's not the only guy in need of a therapy session with Preyer if ya catch my drift."
  • Starlight: "DUH, Duh..... SERIOUSLY?! SPOONFUL WAS LIKE, THE MOST E.E.A. FRIENDLY GUY EVER?! HE'S BASICLY A CLASSIC NORMAL TEACHER INCARNATE?! AND YET, THAT OLD FART MANAGED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM TOO?!"
  • Twilight: "I don't understand..... Spoonful was by far the less eccentric, more average teachers we have here.... If even Spoonful wasn't good enough for him, then.... Who is?"

Nurse's Office

  • Barktrot: "Okay, Young one, what ales you?"
  • The Pony Student was seen with his body mostly stone but his head.....
  • Pony Student: ".... I think this aftermath of Miss Koningin making me fight a Cockatrice speaks for itself."
  • Barktrot: "..... I, admit that the situation is, obvious. But at least you only fell victim to a lessor Cockartrice, like the ones of Everfree. A Greater Cockatrice, (Shows a picture of an Oviraptor-like creature with glowing eyes), would not have an as easily-treatable petrification."
  • Pony Student: "Y'cha, so glad I'm BARELY capable of handling the lesser ones and not one of those bad boys!"
  • Barktrot: "Though be warned that once you eventually master the lesser, that Koningin always tends to bring the next greater creature. So, don't be surprised that you would have to learn to fight a greater Cockatrice soon after."
  • Pony Student: ".... WELL THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF COMFORTING?!"
  • Barktrot: "I find no benefit to feed you sweet lies, I simply just wish to be honest with you. You'll cope better with disappointment and/or reality this way. But by all means, I master all forms of de-petrification of even the Greater Cockatrice. What I was saying, was trying to inspire you to be more cautious in the future. Now, hold still for the de-petrification process."
  • Pony Student: "..... AS IF I CAN DO THE CHA-CHA LIKE THIS?!"
  • Barktrot: ".... My apologies. I forgot that only your head is free. I only said that because it's part of the protocol of being a school nurse. Now, keep calming thoughts as I ready this de-petrification spell. Be warned that the process may sting at very sensitive areas, espeically the crotch, so, apologies for any discomfert in advance."
  • Pony Student: "Oh sure I- WAIT WHAT?! (Crazy screams were heard as O'Hardknocks and the others arrived)"
  • O'Hardknocks:... Charming start.
  • Twilight: Nobody said treating ailments, magic or otherwise, was easy.
  • (Pony Student):... YES!! OH, I'M FREE!!! (Came out depetrified) I CAN WALK AGAIN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo- (Ran into a wall)... Ow!
  • Barktrot: Hello, Mr. O'Hardknocks. You're just in time to have seen me heal Trotty's petrification. Koningin was preparing him to confront a Lesser Cockatrice.
  • O'Hardknocks:... Right. So, you're the nurse?
  • Barktrot: And I teach humility and remedies.
  • O'Hardknocks: Then I would like to see how you do it.
  • Barktrot: I thought you'd never ask. (Brings them into her classroom not too far and shows a magic simulation)... I'd like to show you how I treat ailments in the dangerous world of Equestria. WALLFLOWER, VIOLET!! (A familiar pony came in with an Earth pony similar to Fluttershy with an eloquent three-flower cutie mark, dull gold hair, orchid eyes and an amethyst coat came in)... These are my teaching assistants Wallflower Blush and her friend Violet Field. I figured my familiar wasn't fit well for teaching as much as for helping treat students.
  • Pony Wallflower:... Hello.
  • Soothsayer: (Recognizes Wallflower)... Well, they certainly look like they should be here.
  • Barktrot: They do. Poor Wallflower was a social outcast and Violet was the only one to help her out. Violet's now her school teammate and dorm roommate. They're trying out different things in this school. They help well with chores.
  • O'Hardknocks: Whatever, just get moving.
  • Barktrot:... (Sighs) If you insist. These two will be taking turns. One will be the patient while the other will be the nurse.
  • Violet: (Nods in agreement)
  • Starlight: Violet's a pony of few words.
  • O'Hardknocks: I can see she's a pony of few words, she hasn't said a word SINCE I MET HER!!!!
  • Barktrot: (Sighs) Let's just get through this. (The simulation begins as the illness was randomized and it switches to Ocean Fever) Ahh, Ocean Fever. One of the most well-known seapony illnesses.
  • Wallflower:... (She immediately puffs her cheeks like she was underwater)... (Gurgly) What's going on- (Bubbles came out from her mouth as she covered it in surprise as she had difficulty breathing, sweats water, has blue bubble-like pox, and her face flushed red) (Gurgly) WHAT'S HAPPENING?! I CAN HARDLY BREATH?! (Coughs flurries of bubbles)
  • Barktrot: This is a simulation of Ocean Fever. A crazy relative of Swamp Flu spread through a kind of flowering seaweed. It makes you look like you're drowning even when you aren't underwater. You excrete the water in your body, you cough and breath bubbles, you get blue blisters all over your body, and you eventually turn into water while your remains become the seaweed that spreads the disease.
  • Wallflower: (Gurgling out bubbles) WHAAAAAAAAAT?!? (Coughs out more bubbles)
  • Barktrot: It's just a simulation. It's not fatal. Violet? Get ready. (Violet nods and does a lot of procedures and treats Wallflower)... This is what I teach my students in my class and test them in this simulation so they can prepare for such in friendship missions. (Wallflower was seen gurgling and suffocating while kicking her back hooves around)
  • O'Hardknocks:... And you're sure this is safe?
  • Barktrot: Like I said, it's a simulation.
  • O'Hardknocks: But it seems traumatizing for the patient.
  • Barktrot: That's what simulations are for, of course. For you to experience such scenarios in order to move forward.
  • Wallflower: (She slowly fell limp as she burst bubbles from her mouth until she was cured)... (Gasps heavily)... DEAR CELESTIA!!!
  • Barktrot: Good work, Violet. B+ effort.
  • Wallflower: WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?!
  • Barktrot: This is just to test how you would withstand the disease if you were to be infected while being treated. Now it's your turn to treat Violet.
  • Wallflower: Wait, what? (The illness roster showed Dragon pox as Violet got green and got smallpox-like symptoms and Violet sneezes out fire) HOLY EQUESTRIA!!!!
  • Barktrot: You are treating Dragon Pox, a dragon-borne illness that causes scaly pox, green pigment, sore throat, nausea, vertigo, and sneezing fire. Approximately 21% cases have been fatal.
  • Wallflower: WHAT?!
  • O'Hardknocks: WILL YOU STOP SAYING WHAT?! THIS ISN'T PULP FICTION!!!
  • Barktrot: Sir, don't pressure her! Wallflower, you studied this disease, right?
  • Wallflower: Uh, not completely, no. We were working on that last night- (Coughs bubbles) Ohh!!
  • Barktrot: Then improvise.
  • Wallflower: HOW?!?
  • Barktrot: Figure it out.
  • Wallflower: HOW?!
  • Barktrot: Figure, it, out. That's all I can tell you. Good luck.
  • Wallflower: "Duh.... O, o-o-o-kay! Let me try something! (Casted an intermediate treatment spell on Violet, but the Dragon Pox only subsided alittle bit before resurging into something worse) BAH?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "OH?!"
  • Starlight/Twilight: "AHH?!"
  • Students: "WHOA?!"
  • Barktrot moaned.....
  • Barktrot: ".... Be reminded that this is a simulation. Otherwise, Violet would already have to be qurrintined by now."
  • O'Hardknocks couldn't help but to feel sick at the sight of what is occuring with Violet.
  • Soothsayer: "Don't worry, Mr. O'Hardknocks, it is only a simulation."
  • O'Hardknocks: "(Resisted the urge to puke), But a disterbingly accreate one nonetheless!"
  • Barktrot: ".... Wallflower, try to clear your mind of doubt, and, the unpleasent image of the Dragon Pox, and think more about treating it."
  • Wallflower: Uhhh, uhhh, uhhh, uhhh, I can do this. (Calm for a bit and tries some more until her face was burned by Violet's sneezing flame)... OWWWW! (Continues more worried)... Come on, come on, come on, come on!!!! (She managed to succeed)... Whew! (Suddenly her entire body became swelled up and she died)... Oh, crap. (Violet came back to life as the simulation ends)
  • Barktrot: D-. Good try, though.
  • Wallflower: Ugh, I suck at this.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Duh, duh, dee...... THAT WAS TERRORABLE?! I mean, I can see that she's a talented healer and a no-nonsense treacher, a trait the E.E.A. normally respects, but, THAT!? HAD THAT BEEN A REAL DESEASE, WE'D ALL BEEN DEAD NOW?! Miss Barktrot, I-"
  • Barktrot: "Up up up. I already know where this going, Lightvine was monitoring your prior interactions. You're obviously gonna fail me out of being unimpressed on how this presintation went because your overtly criticable about even minor imperfections. Well, save everyone the trouble of that, we know you're far from impressed, so just kindly go ahead and bother Electross."
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... (Looks at Twilight and Starlight confused as he points a hoof at Barktrot)....."
  • Starlight: ".... Her magical energy snake familier is pretty much her second set of eyes."
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... Well, at least she knows what to expect. (Writes down the problems of Barktrot's failure quietly and proceeds to leave)...."
  • Twilight: ".... Maybe, Electross will do better?"
  • Barktrot: ".... Be honest with yourself, Sparkle. If not even Spoonful, an E.E.A. approvable sort, couldn't appease him, I can't confidently say Electross would impress him.... Nevermind the inediability he would seek out that dim-witted mad sciencetist vulture Buzzord."
  • Twilight: "..... Ugghhhhh."

Electross' class.

  • Electross has a recently required destroyed Zurg Hornet on a table.
  • Electross: "Okay students. Today, we will learn how to repair and reprogram a robot that has originally been used for villainious intent into a force for good. This Hornet had the misfortune of being around when Judge Mentdayos went off the rails as one of Nefarious' present bodyguards. So, I was able to accquire it, and now it will see a revivel as I use it to deminstraight on how you too can give these machines a better purpose. (Turns to the Destroyed Hornet and proceeds to do his work on it) The first thing you must always do is fine the machine's vital points to find a means to revive the machine. Do any of you know what these vital points are?"
  • A Wise Guy Pony Student: "Ya been reviving these scrap metals all yer life, don't ya already know?"
  • Electross: ".... Well, yes, but I was asking if any of you paid attention to the prior presitation about it and remember the details."
  • Nerdy Pony Student: "OH, OH OH! ME, MR. ELECTROSS, ME?!"
  • Electross: Go ahead, String Theory.
  • String Theory: Robots have power cores that need to be replaced, the cores need a positive charge instead of a negative charge, and they need to be in the right directions like batteries.
  • Electross: Great work. Your dad and little brother in Cutie Mark Camp will be proud of you. The positive and negative charges are basically how Team Nefarious programmed good and evil. No need to ask since it seems pretty obvious, but I'll do it anyway, which side represents good?
  • Students: Positive.
  • Electross: And-
  • Moonbow: Negative. We get it.
  • Electross:... Well at least it's clear. But Miss Jounce, please do not interrupt again.
  • ???: You've GOT to be kidding me. (O'Hardknocks came in)... You're seriously suggesting working with those abominable machines?
  • Electross:..... Oh, you must be the evaluator..... (Quietly) To my personal dismay.
  • Bradly:.... Tch. I hate his crack already.
  • Pony Student: (Scoffs) Crack.
  • Trisha: Dirty, what did we say about that?
  • Dirty: To not do it.
  • O'Hardknocks: I can't believe you're reserecting these accursed automations from those villain teams! This is very dangerous!
  • Electross: Uhh, I've been doing it for years. There's nothing wrong about reprogramming a robot made for less then desireable intent.
  • O'Hardknocks: Spoken like a true schmuck about to sign his own death warrant. These machines are so easy to turn against you, INCLUDING your silly flying cube of garbage and the Hornet Jedi.
  • Bradly: (Sarcasticly) Hahaha, I've never laughed harder in my life.
  • Trisha: You can't exactly prove that, good sir.
  • O'Hardknocks: The hell I can't. Hornet Jedi looks like a ticking time bomb ready to turn a student into horse meat.
  • Bradly: I have a name, you wrinkled old turd with legs! (Dirty laughed hysterically) Okay, seriously buddy, can you NOT be this easily amused?
  • O'Hardknocks: If you were the most responsible alien genius in the UUniverses, you'd program out that hostility before he turns a student into a kebab!
  • Electross: Okay, I'm trying to be the nice guy here, but I cross the line at that! You do not earn any right to criticize my methods like you comprehend programmable personality. I should know that you clearly do not. This isn't an advanced world after-all. Plus, do you even know how robots or artificial intelligence behave in my home sector? They'd belong more in a Chuck 'E Cheese more than a space fleet.
  • O'Hardknocks: Not the Hornet Jedi. All it takes is one wrong word, and BAM, horse burgers for lunch.
  • Trisha: Wow, you're going a bit too much with horse meat analogies.
  • O'Hardknocks: So, to quote Willy Wonka, YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR! (Leaves)...
  • Dirty:... What a turd.
  • Electross: "(Sighs), I wish Darwin wasn't too busy watching over the other revived bots in Hayfield 64."
  • Twilight: "...... We're doomed. Now, there's only Buzzord left."

The Panic Room.

  • Buzzord: "Alittle to the left. (Hatty and Kurtle were seen balenceing a power generator into a certain part of the celing)..... Now, abit to the right. (The two did so).... Abit Southwest. (Grunts were heard).... About that grey area between north and east. (More grunts are heard)... Alittle to the left. (The exhausted grunts were heard)..... Perfect, the generator is in perfect position!"
  • Igmar: "Well took you long enough, what with wasting good time trying to fung shai it! Now, are we sure the holographic panic room for the evaluator should he turned out unfit would work?"
  • Buzzord: "Igmar, I am as sure of it as I am sure that ponies have butt tattoos!"
  • Igmar: "..... They're pronounced as Cutie Marks, sir."
  • Buzzord: "Well if you wanted to be tecnecall like that. Okay gents, time for the test! (Brings out a remote control, as Kurtle went inside his shell, Igmar screamed and took cover as an R2-D2 screaming Hatty quickly entered forcefield mode) In 5, 4, 3, 2-"
  • O'Hardknocks came in.
  • O'Hardknocks: "Professor Buzzord, I presum-"
  • Buzzord: "ONE?! (Presses the button!)"

From the School.

  • A HUUUUUGE EXPLODSTION HAPPEN FROM THE SIDE OF THE SCHOOL!

The Panic room.

  • Buzzord and O'Hardknocks were comedically burned, as Kurtle came out of his shell, as Igmar and Hatty arrived to see them.....
  • Igmar: ".... Oh no..... I think that's, the evaluator."
  • Hatty gave some worried bloops.
  • Kurtle: "..... Oh dear."
  • Buzzord: "..... Welp. Back to the drawing board. This is why we do these tests, people."
  • O'Hardknocks gave phathic squeaks......
  • Buzzord: "(Finally noticed O'Hardknocks).... Oh, I take it you're the evaluator. Pleasure to meet you, good sir. (Extends a hand to shake)...... Uh..... This is suppose to be the part where we shake hands, good sir. Or, rather, my hand shaking your hoof. Say, you look rather chrispy. Had you been out in the sun for too long, or did Entropy's Dragon Sneese Tree presitation already started? (Chuckles), Time does go on when Genius is hard at work, (Chuckles proudly). So, would you like a deminstraigtion of my magnifisent classes, good sir?"
  • O'Hardknocks:......

Later...

  • O'Hardknocks: (Stamps 'FAILED' on an evaluation paper on University's desk while the evaluated staff and students, Twilight, Starlight, Soothsayer, and Cozy were watching) Well, University, I'm not happy. NOT, HAPPY! The students are ALL hooligans, the teachers are GROSSLY mixmatched of either being under-quilifived, ill-suited, total utter flight-risks, or have no understanding of how ponies work?! MAYBE EVEN AN ILL-MALMAGINATION BETWEEN THE FOUR?! THIS FRIENDSHIP SCHOOL, IS AN EMBARRISMENT?!
  • Smolder: I OBJECT!!! THIS EVALUATION WAS RIGGED!!!!
  • Gallus: HE'S AN OVERANALYZING PRICK!!!
  • Spiracle: HE IS TRYING TO MAKE US LOOK BAD ON PURPOSE!!! (Everybody argued about it as University casts a soundproof force field)
  • Macabre: OH DON'T YOU SOUND-SHIELD US!!! (Undoes the shield) I ain't letting you let this ill-refined evaluator badmouth us without an ability for us to speak in our defence!
  • University: Macabre! You have some nerve distrupting a sheild!
  • Macabre: SIR, THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!! HE'S USING YOU!!!!
  • University: This is suppose to be a private meeting.
  • Sandbar: PRIVATE MY PRIVATES!!!! YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO US, HE'S PLAYING INNOCENT AND MAKING US LOOK BAD JUST TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO FAIL THE SCHOOL!!! HIS EVALUATION SHOULDN'T COUNT!!
  • Cozy: (Slowly walks by Soothsayer)
  • University: I will not tolerate any of you questioning my choice to cut Mr. O'Hardknocks slack and trying to deny him a chance to be involved in healing the EEA's damage. You all will be put in a week of in-school suspension for this protesting.
  • Daylight: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE LETTING HIM BE CONFIDENT HE CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS?!? HE'S NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE TO THE EEA!!! WE'RE NOT AS BAD AS HE SAYS!!!
  • O'Hardknocks: I have already spoken.
  • Gallus: BULLS*** YOU HAVE, YOU HAVE NO PROOF TO SAY WE'RE BAD CREATURES- (Cozy tips Soothsayer over and causes her to accidentally expose her cover as she lost the voice device)......
  • Buzzord: "GAGSOOTS, THAT PONY TURNED INTO A GOAT?!"
  • Twilight/Starlight: SOOTHSAYER?!
  • O'Hardknocks gave a panicy gasped!
  • Ocellus: What're you doing impersonating Nurse Care Giver?
  • Soothsayer: (As Cozy went back into the crowd taking the lucky advantage of no one paying attention to her being respondsable for this exposure) I... If I can just explain-
  • O'Hardknocks: WHERE IS MY NURSE?!?
  • Soothsayer: I was getting to tha-
  • O'Hardknocks: I SAID WHERE IS SHE?!?
  • Gallus: SHE WAS JUST EXPLAINING, YOU DEAF S***-FLAVORED ICE CREAM CONE!!!
  • O'Hardknocks: I DON'T CARE FOR THE REASON, I SAID I WANT TO KNOW WHERE SHE IS!!!!
  • Soothsayer: I AM OBLIGATED TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT IT?! (Everyone paused)... Look, she's safe, she's just-
  • O'Hardknocks: SHUT UP, YOU OLD GOAT!!! MY NURSE HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!!! THIS IS EXACTLY MY POINT!!! YOU OTHER CREATURES ARE A DANGER TO EQUESTRIA, AND A DISGRACE TO FRIENDSHIP!!! I'M TELLING ALL OF THE EEA ABOUT THIS OUTRAGE IMMEDIATELY!! EVERY, SINGLE, ONE!!! (He bursts out of the school)
  • Mudbriar:......
  • Maud:...... Well it turns out, I was right to be worried about this.
  • Mudbrair: "..... Guess I should've listened to you on that."
  • Starlight: "Soothsayer, WHAT THE HELL?!"
  • Gallus: "Okay Goat Lady, fess up, what the hell's going on here?!"
  • Soothsayer: "AHEM?! If all of you will just calm down, I WILL actselly explain myself!"
  • University: "..... We're listening."

A long explanation later.

  • Soothsayer: "-And now, here we are....."
  • University looked shocked and disappointed in the same time......
  • Entropy: "..... Well don't YOU feel stupid to mommy that basturd?"
  • University: "I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD HIS OWN ULTERIOR MOTIVES BEHIND THIS?!"
  • Spiracle: "Of course he would intentionally use any mis-step as an excuse to fail this school! It was all a ruse to prevent the E.E.A. members from really sideing with us so he can just make his own friendship school and lure ponies away while he uses our newfound bad reputation scare potaintional students away from us!"
  • Barktrot: "Ughh. I knew he smelled off."
  • Electross: "Oy. Figures. Who would've guessed that there's just no trusting E.E.A. folks?"
  • Koningin: "I, WILL CUT OFF THAT OLD FOOL'S HEAD AND WEAR HIS SKULL AS A PRIZE FOR THIS?!"
  • Yakhalla: "The humiliation of this!"
  • Spoonful: "(Sighs disappointed but unsurprised), And here I thought we were going to meet some civilised E.E.A. members for once."
  • Buzzord: "..... Would this be a bad time to say that the Panic Room's not ready yet?"
  • Silence.....
  • Barktrot: "...... Idiot."
  • Gaster: "...... WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO INSIST WE LET THAT FUCKER INTO THE SCHOOL, OLDSTER?!"
  • University: "Well, you see, Yaysay had yet to find an alternate evaluator, and, well, O'Hardknocks was the best I can find. I hoped that, with his credability with the members since he was meant to assend to High Chancellory, he would amend any harsh sentiment torwords us! I, I never counted on-"
  • Gaster: "THAT HE TOOK ADVANTAGED OF YOUR STUPID SYMPATHY FOR HIM AND TOOK YOUR REQUEST OF A EVALUMENT AS A PERFECT EXCUSE TO FUCK US A NEW ONE?!"
  • University: " WELL I FIGURED THAT THE WORSE HE WOULD BE IS HARSHLY OPINIONATED?! I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD EVEN BE REMOTELY CAPABLE OF THIS?! Believe me, If I had've known, I would've left O'Hardknocks WELL enough alone!"
  • Spoonful: "Well, congradulations. In trying to earn friendship with disgruntled fools, you only gave them the means to seek their revenge! That's a mistake no less stupid then asking Verko to take care of the only funtional bank left in Kludgetown?! AND ME AND BUZZORD KNOW ALL TOO WELL HOW WELL THAT WENT?!"
  • Buzzord: "Yeesh, I know, right? He did a poor job protecting that bank! All of the money disappeared over-night and he mysteriously gotten himself that nice suit...."
  • Spoonful: ".... Well, he ALMOST gets it."
  • University: "Look, I want to make this all up to you all. I'll promise you all an all-expense-paid trip to Draconequui Wonderland after this is resolved. AND, that when I try to make another evaluation, it will be whoever Yaysay picks to be O'Hardknocks' replacement. Right now, we need to stop O'Hardknocks and end his credability to the E.E.A. members, or this school will never exspearience peace."
  • Smolder: "NOW THAT'S MORE LKE IT!"
  • University: "Buzzord, I want you to try and make the Panic Room ready. (Buzzord Saluted as Hatty carried him off) Barktrot, I want you and Koningin to go and find O'Hardknocks, your talents will allow you a greater chance to find him. (Koningin and Barktrot went off) Sparkle, I need you to use your princess powers to have the train station and other modes of transportation to refuse service to O'Hardknocks so he can't flee the area. (Twilight gave an understanditive nod) Starlight, gather the other of the Main 6 to help capture O'Hardknocks. (Starlight went off to do so) The rest of you, stay and keep the school safe. (The Group left).... And Miss Soothsayer..... Tell the Lougers that they have a lot to make up for us. They are to aide in O'Hardknocks capture."
  • Soothsayer: "I promise you, I did not know how I tripped. I usually have great balence, I-"
  • University: "It is no longer the time to worry about past actions. It is better to worry about the now. And now, this school's hope of seeing redused E.E.A. trouble is on the line, reguardless of if you tripped on your own or if someone tripped you. That is not impourent. What is impourent, is that we capture O'Hardknocks. Is that clear?"
  • Soothsayer: ".... Understood.... (Soothsayer goes on to leave, and momentarly saw a forelorned and sadden Cozy Glow spying on this, giving a look that reads "I'm sorry, it was nothing personal", which made Soothsayer concerned and gave her an impression that she might be behind it. Cozy vanished into the shadows before Soothsayer can get her attention, forcing her to carry on)."

CMC's Location.

  • Applebloom: "THIS WAS A DISHASTOR?!"
  • Lord Shen: "WHAT THE BLOODLY HELL, SOOTHSAYER, YOU HAVE BETTER BALENCE THEN THAT?!"
  • Soothsayer: "..... I, believed, I was tripped."
  • Lord Shen: ".... You were savatoshed?!"
  • Soothsayer: ".... Potaintionally, but, I can't say who it was. It would not benefit us if we focus too much on the tripper."
  • Lord Shen: ".... Soothsayer, tell me who was the one who tripped-"
  • Shifu: "No Shen, Soothsayer's right. The tripper is not a concern. O'Hardknocks is. And he needs to be contained before he forever taints the path of recovery for the world of Equestria forever!"
  • Lord Shen: "But-"
  • Cynder: "Shen, drop it, O'Hardknocks holds a bigger priority then the tripper."
  • Lord Shen sighed in defeat.
  • Lord Shen: "You all, made a fair arguement."
  • Care Giver started to panic.
  • Care Giver: "Oh no. What have you people done?! Now he's going to have a bad enough temper trandrum and suffer a meltdown bad enough to kill him! He needs me! He needs his medication! He's..... He's helpless without me!"
  • Icky: ".... Look, lady, just fess up and admit it..... You're Stanly's girlfriend, are ya?"
  • Care Giver tried to resist, but her concern for O'Hardknocks' health over as Care Giver couldn't cope!
  • Care Giver: "OKAY OKAY, FINE?! YOU WIN?! (Transformed into Jasmina)."
  • Jasmina: "YOU TERRORABLE PEOPLE GOT ME?! YOU MADE ME EXPOSED MYSELF?! BUT I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU HURT STANLY?! HE'S NOT DANGERIOUS?! HE'S ONLY MISUNDERSTOOD?!"
  • Icky: "Wait wait wait wait...... You think we'd brought you away from that old fart, to waste Stanly?"
  • Jasmina: "...... Isn't that what you monster catchers are like?"
  • Sweetie Belle: "...... Miss Jasmina, we're not monster catchers! In fact, some of us are friends of Stanly trying to bring you back to him!"
  • Jasmina was confused.....
  • Jasmina: "..... Then why did you basicly kidnapped me and tied me up like I was game?!"
  • Scootaloo: "Well, ya did threaten to exposed us to O'Hardknocks and risked him destroying the school so he would atthive his conspiracy of making his own Friendship School after he badmouths Twilight's!"
  • Jasmina was abit shocked.......
  • Jasmina: "...... I thought I told him not to go through with it. I asked him to honor University's wishes!"
  • Stunty: "So tecnecally, you knew about it?"
  • Jasmina: "Well yes, but.... I thought I talked him out of him. I told him that he's in no condition to do this, and yet..... He, lied to me.... (Breaks into sobs tears)....."
  • Applebloom: "..... Please don't cry Miss Jasmina, it wasn't your fault. O'Hardknocks is just a mean poopy head who has no idea how good he had it with you. He even forced Mudbrair into helping him get a tour in the School and threated his pet stick!"
  • Jasmina: "(Gasped)...... I..... I.... I can't, believe this...... How could he do that?! Mudbrair was his nefpew?!"
  • Tigress: "Based on that he failed to get a mother's love, it's clear that he lost his sense of honor for family."
  • Jasmina: ".... Of course. IT ALWAYS STEMS BACK TO THAT BITTER OLD MARE?! It was why I came to take care of him as Care Giver. To give him the mother's love he never had. To fix him. To make him happy again..... Now..... I failed to save him from himself....."
  • Lord Shen: "..... You can still do so, mi'lady. Help us capture that fool, and we can have Barktrot cure him of his ills, and put him through Buzzord's panic room to remendy that broken heart. You did well enough being his care giver..... Now it's time to be a savior, of not just him and the School.... But of Equestria's ability to defend against threats like the Storm Clan, or even something worse then them! And that ability is compromsied by his threat to turn even sane E.E.A. members against the School, never mind Neighsay or other embittered twats! Help us save Equestria, to help that feeble grump, and protect the school from another E.E.A. skurge....."
  • Jasmina: "...... Only if you promise not to hurt him, nor put him through a stressful trail to sentence him to that Ayslum! Even with the illness gone, he won't cope with those people there!?"
  • Icky: "Don't worry, the Black Stallian Asylum's in abit of premature planned renovations thanks to the Leage cheesing Neighsay's retarded duo's attempt to bust him out anyway. And that it would risk Neighsay another pal. Besides, University is building up a place like the Asylum, but more for E.E.A. members, in Canterlot, called Project: R.E.P.E.N.T."
  • Jasmina: "..... Project, R.E.P.E.N.T.? Is, that an acronym for something?"
  • Merlin: " Repressing Equestrian Ponies Evenly Negating Treason. Or, Project: R.E.P.E.N.T. A more specialised sub-verson of the Black Staillian Asylum, but buildt far away from the original building and buildt to retain E.E.A. members. Zesty was kind enough to have that old normal asylum in the barely used side of Canterlot her mansion resides be rebuildt and referbist for this purpose. That way, they'll be away from Neighsay's bad enfluence, and be kept under close eyes of the Celestial family."
  • Jasmina: "..... Would I, be allowed to visit him? To make sure he is taken cared of?"
  • Icky: "No need. That place is being supplied with the finest doctors and pony purity exberts in Canterlot and Equestria in general, so basicly, they'll mommy that miserable piece of crap for you while you keep Stan the Man from crying Equestria apart."
  • Jasmina: "..... What do you mean, cry Equestria apart?"
  • Applebloom: Well, like we said, he's living in a fault line and risking earthquakes with his depressive moods.
  • Jasmina: (Tremors occur)... I see what you mean.
  • Scootaloo: Well, that brings us to the elephant in the room. Why didn't you return to him after the ocean recovered from the madman who attacked it was dealt with? Why were you pretending to be a pony?
  • Jasmina: ".... First off, I wouldn't say that, "HE", was dealt with, more like, he wasn't taken seriously anymore because he flatout lost his edge and went obscure come Storm King's downfall. Second..... I..... I just got, abit carried away of helping the first miserable soul I encountered or heard about. And I didn't just used a pony form, I turned into other creatures too, though.... I ended up running O'Hardknocks, who, looked he was infiintly the most miserable then, pretty much any creature that leaves outside of Equestrian boarders or isn't Equestrian Ajacent. He was ill with those meltdowns, pretty much everyone hated him, he never knew a mother's love, he lost out on an assendtion in his job, he's from an uptight logic proned family, he can't handle train rides on his own, nor, any public transportation for that matter, he barely gets along with his house mates, why, even pest creatures don't like him! They never once entered his apartment room!"
  • Icky: "Yeesh, how sucky does a guy have to be if not even VERMIN want anything to do with him?"
  • Jasmina: "Well, pretty much in his level, frankly. I'm pretty much his only stabliser and the only thing that prevents ponies from wanting to do him harm. Without me, he's a few insults away from forming an angry mob, nevermind his meltdown!"
  • Sandy: "Are ya'll seriously suggesting that he's so ornery of an old man that ponies would randomly form an angry mob on him?"
  • Icky: "Sandy, he pretty much acted like an ass, TO EVEN SPOONFUL, THE MOST E.E.A. APPROVEABLE GUY EVER, WHO'S PRETTY MUCH THE ONE NORMAL TEACHER IN A GROUP OF RADICAL EXTREMES!? I don't think this guy being enough of an ass to form his own hate groups, IS THAT MUCH OF A STRECH!"
  • Sandy: "Well yeah, but Ponyville's a relitively peaceful town, I doubt he would ever rustle their jimmies bad enough that-"
  • Jasmina: He yelled at the train service for spilling wine on him, AND the same to some innkeepers for making him adorable smiley pancakes.
  • Sandy:...
  • Patrick: "..... Woooow. That guy, makes Squidward look like Spongebob."
  • Spongebob: "Even more then the time he ended up being as positive as me."
  • Spyro: Well, if not even the most positive looking breakfest can't appease him, then, he really is that bad about things, and, that's.... That's just sad.
  • Jasmina: Tell me about it.
  • Sweetie Belle: Well now your absence has made Stanly upset. So for the sake of Equestria, we need to help him.
  • Krebs: Honestly, it's embarrassing how you never noticed it through every tremor he likely caused.
  • Jasmina: Hey, you could usually chalk it up to anything else.
  • Spyro: She's right. It's not like any typical threat to this world hasn't shaken the ground before. Nevermind unintentional ones like Stanly.
  • Jasmina: "Okay, if you keep up your bargin that O'Hardknocks doesn't get, TOO hurt from this, and that if you can promise that Project R.E.P.E.N.T. would be good to him, I'll come back to Stanly. Based on what you said.... You made him sound like he's more miserable then any miserable soul in Equestria."
  • Icky: "And that the poor guy's at risk of inadvertingly breaking Equestria into two as a practical sense."
  • Iago: "You also said "Too" hurt from this mess."
  • Jasmina: "Well, if I'm being honest here.... I can't say I'm confident he would remain unharmed for longer then two seconds when he is out there without me. Even the nicest, harmless pony, would end up wanting to do him harm!"
  • Icky: "Jesus Christ, if that guy's at risk of even having a pony like Derpy into wanting to kick his ass, then let's not f*** around and get that old sucker!"

Ponyville

  • O'Hardknocks was in a fit of rage and panic as he was moving quickly in Ponyville as he trotted in the market place!
  • O'Hardknocks: "CARE GIVER?! CARE GIVER?! (Litterally lifts an entire flower stand up, surprising the flower ponies) CARE GIVER?! (Tosses the shop over and blantently destroys it) CARE GIVER?! (Runs up to a fruit stand and starts tossing fruit everywhere to look for Care Giver) CARE GIVER?! (The fruit hits alot of passerby ponies and shop owners) CARE GIVER?! (Runs into the Sofa and Quills store and starts ransacking the place) CARE GIVER?! (Runs out as the store was left in ruins)..... (O'Hardknocks took the statue off of the foundton to look under it) CARE GIVER?! (Tosses it right into the Ponyville Mayor Office as it crashed into the roof!)"
Goofy Yell!

Goofy Yell!

Skip a few seconds

  • Mayor Mare: "WHAT IN ALL OF TARTARUS?!"
  • O'Hardknocks ran to a Postal Box, managed to pull it from it's foundation, and started to spill mail all over the place!
  • O'Hardknocks: "CARE GIVER?!"
  • Derpy in her mail hat arrived in shock!
  • Derpy: "HEY YOU BIG DUMMY?! MESSING WITH PONIES' MAIL IS A FEDERAL OFFENCE?!"
  • O'Hardknocks ignored her and tossed the Postal Box acrossed the area, which crashed right into the Celestia statue and broked it!
  • O'Hardknocks: "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR?! (Echo)"
  • O'Hardknocks ran off screaming like a loon as Dr. Whooves arrived with a concerned Octavia and a more confused Vinyl.
  • Dr. Whooves: "..... Well..... I picked, an interesting time to visit Ponyville from Eureka Corp."
  • Octavia: "I just came back from a concert in Manehatten while Vinyl returned from a club in Fillydelpia, AND THIS IS WHAT I COME HOME TO?!"
  • Lyra and Bon-Bon showed up as well.
  • Lyra: "Yeesh, what peed in his crunch berries?"
  • O'Hardknocks' voice: "CARE GIVER?!"
  • Bon Bon: "I, think it has something to do with "Care Giver"."
  • Lyra: "Wait, actselly, I think I reckindise that pony. When I was meeting my grandmother on the train station, I saw him complaining about something at the Conductor and that he had this nurse pony with him. I think that Nurse was Care Giver."
  • Dr. Whooves: "Well I wager she must be expenationally impourent to him that he basicly wrecks half of Ponyville for it."
  • Octavia: "(Gets a better look at O'Hardknocks and gasped)..... I know that Pony! He's O'Hardknocks of the O'Hardknocks Clan! A family of super-genius ponies that run educational and science groups! He was once supposed to assend to High Chancellor of the E.E.A. before it disbanned, and left him a bitter wreck having to be watched over by Miss Care Giver because he is prone to have cranium and cardiac meltdowns that can kill him if left uncheck!"
  • Lyra: ".... So, should we like, stop him before he hurts anypony and/or himself, or what?"
  • Dr. Whooves: "(Sees O'Hardknocks running torwords the Ponyville School) OH DEAR, I THINK WE SHOULD DIFFENTLY KEEP HIM FROM RAMPAGING INTO THE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL FIRST AND FOREMOST?!"
  • Derpy: "(Gasps)! Oh no! He's going to scare Dinky!"
  • Bon Bon: "I GOT THIS?! (Charges off after O'Hardknocks)"
  • O'Hardknocks: "CARE GIVER!? CARE GIV-"
  • Bon-Bon: HYAH!! (Kicks him down) Mr. O'Hardknocks! If you can stop screaming and causing chaos, then perhaps we can help you find this 'Care Giver'.
  • O'Hardknocks: SHE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED BY THE LODGERS!!!
  • Derpy: The Lodgers?
  • Bon-Bon: Yeah, nice try, old timer!
  • O'Hardknocks: I'M MIDDLE-AGED!!!
  • Lyra: Same difference.
  • Bon-Bon: Whatever, don't try to vilify the Lodgers. They wouldn't kidnap your nurse unless they had a good reason.
  • Vinyl: (Nods in agreement)
  • O'Hardknocks: THEY'RE FILTHY ALIENS!!!
  • Bon-Bon: WHO SAVED OUR WORLD COUNTLESS TIMES!!
  • O'Hardknocks: CAN YOU JUST LET ME GO?!
  • Bon-Bon: So you can just terrorize fillies? I don't think so. (Restrains him)
  • Dinky: HEY, SIS!!!!
  • Derpy: HEY, SIS!!!!
  • Emerald: OH MY GODS, THAT HETEROTROPIC DERP IS YOUR SISTER?!? OH, THAT IS SO RICH!!! DERPIDY-DERPIDY-DERPDERPD- (Dinky steps on his hoof) AOW!!!
  • Dinky: HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE DISABLED, DONKEY BUTT!!!
  • Cheerilee: DINKY!
  • Dinky: AT LEAST I DIDN'T SAY ASS!!!
  • Cheerilee: DINKY!!!
  • Dinky: UGH, JINXED MYSELF AGAIN!!!
  • Derpy: (Smiles adorably) You're growing so fast, sis.
  • Dr. Whooves: "Wait, she's your sister? I thought she was your adopted daughter!"
  • Dinky: "Well, you're not too off about the adopted thing, obviously, but, we're actselly more like sisters then anything. Ponies really need to take Brony theories with a grain of salt."
  • Bon-Bon: O'Hardknocks, you're coming with us.
  • O'Hardknocks: ERRRRGH!!! (Kicks her face and frees himself) STAY OFF ME!!!
  • Bon-Bon:... (Spits out some blood).... First off, I knew a Bugbear that hits worse then that! Second, No! Until we find your nurse, your butt is going to the Maximum Security wing of Black Stallion Asylum!
  • O'Hardknocks: STAY OFF ME, YOU LITTLE BRATS!!! I'M TELLING THE EEA AND HAVING THE SCHOOL DISCREDITED FOR IT'S INCOMPETENCE!!!
  • ???: So you can start up another school? (Starlight and Twilight's friends came in, as Starlight was speaking) Absolutely not.
  • O'Hardknocks: Why are you standing in my way? You're scared that the truth will destroy your school?
  • Rainbow Dash: "More like over-exaggerations would end up destroying it, and dooming Equestria to either the Storm Clan or another part of the world's problems beyond it! Now, do some of the teachers have their issues and quirks? Do the students need alot more work then we expected? Yeah, but they need to be addressed with honesty and offering of the pros at least before you bring up the cons!"
  • O'Hardknocks: Neighsay was right. Non-ponies in the school are dangerous. I'm going to build the school that Neighsay intended to come out of your school. One with ponies only, and no non-ponies to destroy it and Equestria.
  • Starlight: You're intending to repeat the same mistake that costed you your promotion AND the success you wanted to show your mother. That's, inadvertingly hypocritical of you, all things considered. (O'Hardknocks began to feel conflicted now, but still rather mad). The school exists to spread friendship across a world wrecked for eons since the Chaos War and rising threats like the Storm Clan. Neighsay brought it upon himself because he committed treason for a decree meant for the protection of Equestria and the healing of the world. If your mother was still alive, she'd be asha-
  • O'Hardknocks: DON'T YOU F*****G DARE BRING HER UP!!! THE O'HARDKNOCKS CLAN HAS BEEN RUINED ENOUGH AS IT IS!! THEY FAILED AND FELL AS A SUCCESSFUL TEACHING FAMILY BECAUSE OF UNFAIR COMPETITION OF BETTER SCIENCETISTS AND BETTER EDUCATION!!! THEY CALLED US 'OUTDATED' AND 'PASSÉ', AND ME AND MY FAMILY BRANCH WERE THE LAST ONES LEFT TO SAVE THE FAMILY LINE, AND SINCE MY SIBLING LEFT TO STUDY STUPID STICKS WHILE THE OTHER WAS ALREADY ON THE RIGHT WAY, MOM COULD ONLY COUNT ON ME AS OUR ONLY HOPE!!! AND SHE DIED WATCHING IT FINALLY DIE WITH HER!!! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!
  • Applejack: YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHOSE FAULT IT WAS!!
  • Bon-Bon: So your family's legacy dying is a good excuse to bring down others? Nothing lasts forever, you know. All good things must come to an end.
  • O'Hardknocks: UP YOURS, CANDY HAIR!!! THE O'HARDKNOCKS CLAN DESERVED BETTER THAN THAT!!! I'M NOT GOING TO LET ANY OF YOU CONTINUE TO DISGRACE MY FAMILY ANYMORE!!! NOW LET ME FIND MY NURSE AND LEAVE, NOW!!!
  • Rarity: On who's authority?
  • Starlight: And even if you escape, you're not going anywhere. Twilight has ordered the train service to refuse service to you. University is not letting you leave and make our problems with the EEA worse because of a rigged evaluation.
  • O'Hardknocks: WELL HE DISGRACED THE EEA, TOO! HE WALKED OUT ON IT! HE LEFT IT TO ROT! THAT'S EXACTLY WHY SOME OF US AIMED TO GIVE HIM A PROPER RETIREMENT!!! HE WAS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF THE EEA, AND WE WERE RIGHT!!
  • Rarity: "Though by the logic of it being because of Neighsay-"
  • O'Hardknocks: NEIGHSAY PROVOKING HIM INTO IT IS IRRELIVENT?! PROVOKTION OR NOT, UNIVERSITY, STILL PROVED IT?! THE EEA DOESN'T CARE FOR HIM ANYMORE THAN THEY CARE ABOUT YOUR DUMB SCHOOL!!! HE'S THE WORST TO BLAME FOR THIS!!! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR US ANYMORE!!
  • Fluttershy: And you are?
  • O'Hardknocks: I'm the best they've got!
  • Rainbow Dash: BITE ME!!
  • O'Hardkocks: Don't tempt me. I'm leaving, and you can't stop me!
  • Starlight: Look who you're talking to.
  • O'Hardknocks: "A collection of fallen heroes?!"
  • Pinkie: "Or more like NOT THE KIND OF HEROES THAT DON'T TAMPER WITH SOMETHING CLEARLY WRONG IN THE SYSTEM?! WHAT YOU DID TO MUDBRAIR WASN'T NICE?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: "I DIDN'T PLANNED FOR THAT BLUNDEROR TO ACTSELLY FALL IN LOVE IN THAT EMOTION DEPRAVED HERMIT?! HE WAS SUPPOSE TO USE HER AS AN EXIDOUS TO SPY ON YOUR SCHOOL AND GAVE ME DESIREABLE RESULTS!? BUT HE WAS AN UTTER FAILURE AT THAT?!"
  • Rarity: "Well shows you to underestimate true love, cretin."
  • The Group didn't realised that Maud and Mudbrair were secretly watching this.....
  • Mudbrair felt ashame and didn't wanted to look at Maud in shame.....
  • Maud: "..... (Placed a hoof on Mudbrair and have a small smile on her monotoned face)..... It's okay, Mudbrair. Truth is, I ended up reading in your journal that you were meant to spy on the school when Blouder found it."
  • Mudbrair: ".... Ye, you knew prior to this event?"
  • Maud: "Well, tecnecally, only the bits of details of it. You did a better job holding onto your journal abit later on. But I did got the idea that initionally, it was meant to be a like a fake jewel on a crown. But the gem that is our love, proved more genuine then what your uncle had intended."
  • Mudbrair: ".... If I were to be honest here, tecnecally, by all means, I had anpisipated that you would be more like Miss Pinkie and that you're.... Well, basicly like her!"
  • Maud: "I get that alot from folks. Though I do end up like that when I take in suger."
  • Mudbrair: "Okay, then, let's make sure you take zero suger intake, because, I must admit that, I liked you the way you are. Even if you tecnecally already figured it out, I must apologese in late earnest that I ever allowed Uncle to talk me into this mess. But, the one thing I could never regret, is that being with you, is the one good thing to come out of it."
  • Maud: ".... I feel the same way, Mudbrair...... This being said, I don't think I would be looking forword for another visit from your uncle, to be honest."
  • Mudbrair: "Well, tecnecally, he is likely going to be taken away for a good long time for his actions, so, don't worry about that. Though, I worried about how he would cope with the Black Stallian Asylum."
  • Maud: "Given that Neighsay is there, they're unlikely to use that. They probuly have an offshoot asylum in the works."
  • Mudbrair: "Well I have read something about "Project: R.E.P.E.N.T.", an asylum building being fitted to be basicly a private Black Staillian Asylum for E.E.A. members in the Equestria Daily once, article written by J.J. Newsworthy, but we don't have the full answers yet."
  • Maud: "Well, how's about we go back to the Cavern. I think I know where Care Giver is. (The two left)."
  • O'Hardknocks: I'M WARNING YOU ALL, STAY BACK!!
  • Starlight: We're not letting you get away, O'Hardknocks. You're coming with us.
  • O'Hardknocks: (Cozy came out from behind the schoolhouse with a familiar purple powder) I SAID STAY BACK!!!!
  • Starlight: And WE SAID STOP!! (Magically immobilizes him)
  • Barktrot: Let's bring him back to the school. (Cozy slid the bag to the frozen O'Hardknocks which spilled and caused a chain reaction to the magic energy that caused a tsunami of pink goop that swept away the heroes, freed O'Hardknocks, and allowed him to escape while Cozy flew away, both disappearing without a trace)
  • Rainbow Dash: WHAT THE HELL?!?
  • Pinkie: THAT WAS SO FUN!!!
  • Rainbow Dash: NOT FUN!!! O'HARDKNOCKS GOT AWAY!!!
  • Lord Shen: "..... WE'VE BEEN SAVATOSHED?! I BET THE TRIPPER WAS BEHIND THIS?!"
  • Twilight: "If so, this person managed to get away.... And figured that Magic Glitter would be perfect to slow us down."
  • Shifu: "Whoever this savataur is, we can't afford to worry about this mysterious assalent! O'Hardknocks is still priority number 1!"
  • Lord Shen: "SERIOUSLY?! OKAY, SOOTHSAYER BEING TRIPPED IS ONE THING, BUT SOMEONE SAVATOSHING A PERFECT CAPTURE OF WHAT SHOULD BE AN EASY CASE OF A TAINTED PONY?! IT'S LIKE SOMEONE WANTS THE SCHOOL TO LOSE?!"
  • Rainbow Dash: "WELL WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR CONSPIRACTY THEROIES, PEACOCK?! WE HAVE TO CATCH O'HARDKNOCKS?!"
  • The Group ran off, as Cozy looked on hidden in a cloud.
  • Cozy: ".... That should buy me some extra time until I can locate the archives for Perlexity. (Flies off)"

Chapter 4: The School of Hard Knocks in a Literal Meaning

Maud's Cavern.

  • Scootaloo: "SERIOUSLY GUYS?! YOU HAD HIM PERFECTLY RIGHT THERE AND SUDDENLY SOME MYSTERIOUS JERK-OFF TOSSED IN MAGIC GLITTER AND RUINED EVERYTHING?!"
  • Icky's Voice: "WE KNOW, RIGHT?! IT'S LIKE THE PLOT DOESN'T WANT US TO END THE EPISODE TOO SOON AND WANT US TO FOOL AROUND TRYING TO RE-CAPTURE THIS GUY AS IF THERE'S A HIDDEN SUBPLOT ABOUT A TRAITOR IN THE RANKS?! (Chuckles), That be some shit if that were the case, am I right?"
  • Applebloom: "Look, don't worry about who's savatoshing you guys, just focus more on O'Hardknocks!"
  • Icky's Voice: "Well it's not like we're fooling around in downtown over here! That's what we're trying to do! I'll call make for anything new! (The Communicator stops)."
  • Jasmina: "Oh dear. Who could've done something like this, who could be trying to prolong this travisty to make O'Hardknocks be at risk of a meltdown!"
  • Stunty: "Well, maybe it's like what Icky said, maybe you guys have a double-crosser problem."
  • Scootaloo: "Don't take that part seriously, that was just Icky Joking."
  • Applebloom: "Everyone, something tells me that the Lougers and the Main 7 can't do this on their own anymore. They need our help."
  • Jasmina: "I wanna help too! (Turns into Care Giver) It's me he wants after all! I'm the only one who can calm him down."
  • Sweetie Belle: But we don't know where he is.
  • Prism: Eh, I don't think we need to. (They end up teleporting into the same cave but in different locations)... Darn it! This is a minor teleportation spell. I can't find him if I don't know where he is.
  • Scootaloo: Then just teleport his brown butt here.
  • Stunty: PHAH!! POOP JOKES!!
  • Prism: (Ends up teleporting somepony that looks like O'Hardknocks)... Oops. (Teleports other identical ponies, including AnY, until she gave up)
  • Applebloom: What the heck?!
  • Prism: I told you, I can't locate him with magic unless I know where he is.
  • Scootaloo: Well you sure outlived your usefulness quickly. You just got your cutie mark and you still stink at magic.
  • Prism: Look who's talking. You got YOUR cutie mark and YOU STILL CAN'T FLY!!
  • Aquamarine: OHHHHH SNAP!!
  • Scootaloo: You know I'm self-conscious about that.
  • Prism: Well I'm self-conscious about my magic, so now we're even. For once, magic is not in your favor.
  • Scootaloo: Hey, Merlin has magic, so he can find him.
  • Jasmina: Well you just hung up-
  • Scootaloo: I FREAKING KNOW!!!
  • Jasmina: Language.
  • Scootaloo: Ugh, what's with that word being confused as a bad word? Since when was 'freak' vulgar?
  • Jasmina: Kids, you're not going to go anywhere being... Well, kids. You guys might need more help.
  • ???: Right on cue. (The Cutie Mark Campers came)
  • M-Theory: (With his atom symbol cutie mark) I knew my calculations on the time of our required time were accurate. Cutie mark, I love you.
  • Applebloom: Wait, you can calculate future events?
  • M-Theory: It WAS the greatest possibility.
  • Blazar: (With a blazar cutie mark) Well Prism's magic is nothing compared to mine. I'm older, and more educated than her.
  • Jumping Jack: (With a sports headband cutie mark) You seriously couldn't resist bragging, huh?
  • Hedron: (With three polyhedral dice as a cutie mark) So sad.
  • Blazar: Hey, somepony had to say it. Besides, what does LARPing have to bring to the table?
  • Hedron: Well I have +10 Strategy-
  • Blazar: NEXT!
  • Speedy: (With checkered flag cutie mark) I'm fast and furious.
  • Genre: (With movie camera cutie mark) I can ACT!!
  • Foolhard: (With fool hat cutie mark) I can entertain.
  • Comedy Gold: (With a three-whoopee cushion cutie mark) I can do that too.
  • Porosity: (With sponge cutie mark) I can... Uh... Clean like a boss?
  • Huckleberry: (With this cutie mark) And I can... Farm berries?
  • Blazar:... That was a quick cutie mark introduction. Why'd we bring the last two with us again?
  • M-Theory: Because they wanted something to do. We don't know what, but they'll find something.
  • Blazar: Like what?
  • M-Theory: Why are you asking me?! I don't have their cutie marks.
  • Applebloom: KIDS!!!... Blazar? Are you really stronger than Prism?
  • Blazar: Does magic need to be explained? Of course. Watch THIS! (Opens a magic portal similar to the blazar)... Suck my lollipop.
  • Prism: So, that's what your cutie mark represents? Opening portals? That's not exactly THAT impressive.
  • Blazar: Is that so? Well allow me to demonstrate. (Victory yells jumping into the portal until he came out still yelling and fell into the ground with dirt in his mouth)... Yeah, it's as minor as your silly teleportation.
  • Genre: Way to add filler.
  • Jasmina: You know, I don't exactly mind being held against my will anymore. This is adorably funny.
  • Applebloom: "Please don't over-analise this ma'am, this was meant to be more serious then it is being right now."
  • Jasmina: You're kids. You'd make this about as serious as a cartoon show.
  • Comedy Gold: (Laughs) It's funny because it's true!
  • M-Theory: Everypony, we don't need to find O'Hardknocks. We just watch the Lodgers' progress and drop Jasmina off when they find and beat him.
  • Blazar: Dang, I was going to say that.
  • Sweetie Belle: It's called cutie mark courtesy, Blazar.
  • Prism: Let him use his smarts well.
  • Blazar: Oh, put your horn up my portal hole!
  • Prism: "Depends, the actual portal, or your butthole?"
  • Blazer: ".... You just couldn't let me have a snappy comeback at you, can ya, Priss?"
  • Prism:... WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!
  • Blazar:... Pris- (He ended up magically stuck in a portal loop falling through vertical portals over and over while screaming and reacting comically)
  • Prism: See? I can do portals too. Suddenly your portals aren't so special after all, are they?
  • Scootaloo: Well, his DOES look WAY cooler.
  • Jasmina sighed.
  • Jasmina: ".... The charm wears off when I remembered that we have something impourent to do."

Meanwhile...

  • Icky: (Pounding his head multiple times on a tree) DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!!!!!!!! WE WERE SO CLOSE!!!! SO, F*****G CLOSE!!!!! IF WE EVER FIND OUT ABOUT THE JACKASS THAT RUINED AN OPEN AND SHUT MISSION LIKE THAT, I'M GONNA KICK THEIR ASS?!
  • Mantis: "But what if it's a kid who did this?"
  • Icky: "Then this bird will get his disapleanary SPANK-ON!"
  • Gazelle: "You do realised you just threatened to physically abuse a child, right?"
  • Icky: "Gazelle, we just lost out on a pretty fucking simple case! So simple, that you being here, is REDUNDENT?! It was SO stupidly easy to capture that asshat, but we only lost out because another asshat savatoshed us?!"
  • Gazelle: "Look, like it's already been said, the savatosher is as of now irrelivent. Capturing O'Hardknocks is the sole impourence here. What good is wasting them worrying about some anomamous person if the main problem is on the loose?"
  • Lord Shen: Suddenly you bother asking? You all make me sick. This saboteur could be a 'guardian angel' for O'Hardknocks. It's another importance, BECAUSE HE OR SHE COULD DO THIS AGAIN!!! IF WE DON'T FIND THE SABOTEUR, HE OR SHE MIGHT THWART US AGAIN!!
  • Barktrot: "You seriously think that if we don't focus on O'Hardknocks more but instead going after some random miscreient that O'Hardknocks is going to paiently wait for us to re-capture him?"
  • Lord Shen: "Twilight had already cut-off any and all transportation in Ponyville, he's basicly trapped!"
  • Barktrot: "That doesn't mean it would be like the entire town is blocked off from the world by a giant Fishbowl! He can just as easily steal any of those modes of transportations himself."
  • Lord Shen: AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HE CAN BE A GOOD CONDUCTOR?!
  • Barktrot: "Trains aren't as hard to figure out as you may think. Besides, if we waste time seeking out a figure that has NO intention of being known anyway, then O'Hardknocks will escape! And once so, he will reach the E.E.A. Sub-Council, and perimently condemn the School's name to enturnal infamy to even any GOOD reminants, nevermind the likes of Neighsay or O'Hardknocks that likely don't think highly of us as it is?!"
  • Koningin: "I agree. The Savataur is too small a prey for the greater hunt of O'Hardknocks."
  • Lord Shen: "But-"
  • Twilight: "Shen, please! They're right! If we waste time trying to a find a figure we have no chance of finding anyway, O'Hardknocks will escape and give an illfit report to the E.E.A. Sub-Council. The E.E.A. Members will end up never giving my school a chance of O'Hardknocks wins!"
  • Lord Shen: "Well what good will ignoring the savataur do if it just adds needless difficulty and-"
  • Twilight started to shed tears as she cried.....
  • Twilight: "Shen, please....... If O'Hardknocks escapes Ponyville, the E.E.A. will never leave the School alone. And the School is very impourent to Equestria, so much so that, if it fails because of those E.E.A. members, then..... (Cries)....."
  • Lord Shen: "(Losing his nerve and gives up....)..... Ughhh..... OKAY FINE?! I declare that we focus SOLELY, on O'Hardknocks. FOR NOW, anyway..... The Savataur is only something to avoid..... Satisfived?"
  • Twilight: Thank you.
  • Lord Shen: HOWEVER, though your point is made clear, I will personally see to it that he doesn't get lucky by having the wolves watch out for this 'saboteur'. (The group groaned in annoyence), OH COME ON, I may be willing to consider things in Twilight's perpective, but I would NOT be a very good general if I forget about it entirely?!
  • Icky: "And we get that, but, you'll end up having your guys going on wild goose chases for someone that we don't exactly know is even ACTIVELY helping O'Hardknocks! For all we know, this person only helped O'Hardknocks' Ass out to buy time for something entirely different!"
  • Lord Shen: Fair point that the Savataur may not be actively trying to protect O'Hardknocks, but what you said only makes me want to be even more concerned! (Icky faceplamed!) I will focus on both the saboteur and O'Hardknocks equally because we can't afford anymore interference. We defeat O'Hardknocks, and make sure that his little guardian angel isn't around. (Picks up the empty bag of magic powder with his spear) Starting with analyzing any prints on this bag.
  • Merlin: Unfortunately, Shen, that bag has been magically purged of any prints. Neither of fingers nor hooves. It's a dud. Whoever this assilent is, as unimpourent as he/she is, they REALLY want to make sure we focus on O'Hardknocks more, AS WE SHOULD!
  • Lord Shen: (Smells the bag)... Curses, you're right. Well, let's still keep it for when the saboteur IS, the top priority. Let's go.
  • Merlin: Well let's not teleport him here with his growing insanity. We'll have to teleport directly to his location.
  • Twilight: But, we don't know where he is.
  • Merlin: True, but since our Mythos adventure, I have outfitted my teleport spell with a tracking spell to create a spell that can teleport us to a target's location, but because of the ridiculously large number of us, we have to teleport into the 50-mile vicinity of the target.
  • Rainbow Dash: Ughhhh. Figures. Ya think that magilo stuff ya learned would've made this a no problem!
  • Merlin: Well keep in mind that I am STILL perfecting Magilo. And even so, my spells are still limited. But be honest, if I was a Superman wizard, would you even want me? Oh who am I kidding, alchourse you would, that was a bad question, forget about it. Now then, let us begin. Teleporta-.... Ugh, blast me, I forgot I haven't made the spell non-verbal yet. I say, old chaps, you know an ancient word for 'locate'?
  • Skipper:..... OH FOR THE LOVE OF-
  • Kowalski: Loco?
  • Merlin: Ahh, the Latin word for place. TELEPORTALOCIUM! (The spell only showed their location)... Huh? Well it didn't work, but I just made a homing spell. I'm trying to combine a teleport spell with a tracking spell here.
  • Kowalski: (As the Lodgers were frustrated) How about Greek? Evrima?
  • Merlin: Hmm. The Greek word for find. Should work. Alright, let's start again. TELEPORTAEVRIMUM! (They instead teleported treasure)... OHHH, THAT'S RIGHT, THAT WORD IS A NOUN THAT ALSO MEANS TREASURE TROVE. Glad pirates can't usually use magic. That Treature looks like it's releated to a great impourence, so, I'll send it to Spoonful for safe keeping. (Teleports the treasure to Spoonful's classoroom).
  • Archimedes: Ugh! Try Evrisko!!!
  • Merlin: BRILLIANT!!! A verb. Here we go.... TELEPORTAEVRISKUM!!! (The spell almost teleported O'Hardknocks before he aborted the spell) Oops, forgot to phrase the spell to teleport us to him instead of teleporting him to us.
  • Marty: OH JUST DO IT ANYWAY?!
  • Merlin: OKAY OKAY, FINE?! (De-Aborts the Spell and teleports O'Hardknocks to their location).
  • O'Hardknocks: "WHAT THE, HOW?! DAMN MAGIC?! I WAS SO CLOSE TO THE TRAIN STATION?! (Runs off again!)"
  • Mushu: MARTY, WHAT THE HELL, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TELEPORT TO HIM!!!
  • Lord Shen: "FORGET THAT?! GO AFTER HIM?!"
  • Everyone charged after O'Hardknocks!
  • O'Hardknocks: UGH, YOU ALL ARE SO ANNOYING!!!!
  • Lord Shen: Last chance! Surrender!
  • O'Hardknocks:... Do it, then! Kill me. Kill my family legacy some more.
  • Lord Shen:... WAIT, YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO KILL YOU?!
  • O'Hardknocks: Those stupid fancy blades certainly aren't for cutting up vegetables, are they?
  • Lord Shen: Ugh!
  • Cynder: I tried to tell you that the blades make you look too hostile, Shen.
  • O'Hardknocks: You guys are really unstructured.
  • Iago: If we had a nickel for every time we heard that, we wouldn't need a charity.
  • O'Hardknocks: Just leave me alone!!!!
  • Lord Shen: I'm afraid that's not happening. You can run all you want, but you're never leaving Ponyville.
  • O'Hardknocks: (Sighs) Fine. Didn't wanna have to do this, but you leave me no choice. (Takes out an EEA badge similar to Neighsay's badge and sent a magic beacon)
  • Rainbow Dash: What is he doing? (A portal similar to Neighsay's opened up)
  • Twilight: NO! (Zaps the Badge away, destroying it, and closing down the portal)!
  • O'Hardknocks: "..... HOW DARE YOU DESTROY E.E.A. PROPERTY, YOUNG LADY?!"
  • Twilight: I TOLD YOU, YOU, ARE, NOT, LEAVING!!!!
  • ???: You're wrong. (Another EEA member came in through another portal) He is.
  • Iago: THE HELL ARE YOU?!
  • EEA Member: It doesn't matter who I am. We detected a compromised EEA badge. We knew O'Hardknocks was in danger.
  • Icky: WHAT?!?
  • Twilight: UGH, I FORGOT THAT THE BADGES AND ANYTHING THEY CAST INCLUDING SPELLS ARE LINKED!!! JUST LIKE NEIGHSAY'S LOCK SPELL THAT ALERTED HIM WHEN I UNLOCKED IT!!
  • Po: SERIOUSLY?! YOU DESTROYED IT WITHOUT THINKING?!?
  • EEA Member: Why are you holding O'Hardknocks against his will?
  • Skipper: None of your business.
  • EEA Member: Yes it is. Am I to assume that your evaluation failed and you're holding him against his will because you don't want to look bad to us?
  • Private:... No?
  • EEA Member: Don't think I can't sense lies. You all have simply proved that you're nothing but trouble. This attempt to omit a bad evaluation is a dishonorable offense to the EEA.
  • Banzai: It's not around anymore, you idiot.
  • EEA Member: Don't refer to me as an idiot because you assume I don't know that. But the point stands. You all attempting to withhold this is exactly the problem we have with you. This is why, O'Hardknocks is leaving and you are NOT to interfere.
  • Lord Shen: And who's going to stop us?
  • EEA Member:... If you think I'm incapable of doing so, you aliens are dumber than you lo- (Gazelle instintly K.O'ed the member out!)
  • O'Hardknocks: "...... YOU JUST KNOCKED OUT THE HEAD OF THE SUB-COUNCIL HEADMASTER RECLINER?!"
  • Gazelle: "Well, sorry, but, he was trying to help you! If it's any consolation, I only did it to get him out of the way, I meant no ill torwords him otherwise."
  • O'Hardknocks: HOW RECKLESS ARE YOU?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!!!! IS THIS HOW YOU SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS?! BY RUSHING INTO THINGS WITHOUT THINKING?! YOU DESTROY MY BADGE WITHOUT THINKING THAT IT WOULD LEAD RECLINER HERE, AND YOU JUST RISK INJURING ANOTHER EEA MEMBER?!? THIS IS ONLY PROVING MY POINT!! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO RECLINER, HOW DO YOU THINK THE REST OF THE EEA WILL TAKE IT?! You idiots will only have helped me. And that's another thing. You're all idiots. How many times have you ended up making things worse because you don't think things through? Not to mention these badges are supposed to be monitoring every member. The EEA might already know about this. Face it everyone, you are a danger and so is this. That's why I'm going through with this. Soon the EEA will pick me up and your precious school will be history.
  • ???: I'm afraid not. (The portal changed as University came out)
  • O'Hardknocks: YOU?!?
  • University: You seem to forget I'm connected to all badges as it's former de facto. I retained the power to manipulate their capabilities, and that's why these badges are now obsolete. (Shuts down all the badges of the former EEA members around the world with his own)...
  • O'Hardknocks: NO!!!... HOW COULD YOU BE ON THEIR SIDE?!
  • University: Because what you are trying to do with your own school is wrong.
  • O'Hardknocks: WRONG?!? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO EVALUATE THEIR SCHOOL TO BEGIN WITH?!
  • University: "WELL YOU ENDED UP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL EVER ASKING YOU TO DO IT?! You made me regret giving a fellow member due sympathy! I meant for you to help me MEND hard feelings with the E.E.A., NOT ESCALATE THEM?! I felt, wrong, ever defending you from those that rightfully criticised you!"
  • O'Hardknocks: I'll tell YOU what's wrong! You betrayed us. You shut us down without finding a better solution. This was why we considered having me replace you. We knew your foolish lack of hindsight would be the collapse of the EEA.
  • University: "Too be fair, had Neighsay been alittle more fair with Sparkle to begin with-"
  • O'Hardknocks: NEIGHSAY DOING SOMETHING TO PROVOKE YOU IS ASIDE THE POINT?! You, can argue that Neighsay acted like a blundering imbacile about that school all you want! It's a clished excuse at this point?! Fact of the matter is, Neighsay or no Neighsay, the overall downfall of the E.E.A., is largely, ON YOUR SHOULDERS?! You walked out on us. You're the reason for the last hope for my family's legacy being revived, having DIED before it can truely happen?! You wronged every single member of the EEA because you couldn't do your job right.
  • University: "YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT NEIGHSAY DID RISKED A WAR BECAUSE SOME STUDENTS DIDN'T WANTED TO LEAVE EACHOTHER SO SOON AFTER MEETING?! You had, any idea, how ugly this controversy would've been, if all I did was just removed Neighsay but keep the over-all group arround? Neighsay was only a particularly bad syntom of a problem the E.E.A.'s own traditions and worldviews had created since the Fear Wars! What Neighsay did, was not just his burden.... It was all of ours..... And to some, simply removing him would be like trying to put a bandaid on a manicore-caused wound! It would've been TOO superfical for a still serious offence! The races were tired of our group's interfearence of their own schools as it is, but, if we DARE still have the nerve to still be around after what Neighsay did, they'll never be at rest! They'll become afraid that we're just a matter of time before a new Neighsay shows up and becomes even further uncouth! The E.E.A. itself was tainted by outdated mindsets we brought to ourselves, because we allowed fear to rule us. Neighsay, was only a syntom that was proved that the E.E.A. as it was, was too ill to recover on it's own. Please understand. Neighsay was the straw that broke the camel's back to other races, and, it would've not served us too well to just remove the straw. At the end of the day, that Camel still has a bad back from it! The only way, to truely mend sour feelings, was something as absolute as a disbansion..... Because, if I just make that Neighsay is removed, then..... It'll just be a matter of time before someone equily undesireable, just comes and replaces him. We also weren't going to be popular with fellow ponies had we kept the group up, because, we defied the Princess of Friendship, and tried to undermine her! Ponies, took what happened with the Storm King as a sign that the world was left in deep pain, and felt that it's time to stop ignoring it, or else what happened that day, repeats with another Storm Clanner that wanted to avenge him! Or just as much an equilly dangerious woe of the world! And if the E.E.A defies them, it would've risked so many rebelions against us?! Is that what you wanted?! To assend to High Chancellorisum with rebelions and threats of wars, breathing down your neck?!"
  • O'Hardknocks: (Was abit put off by those implications)..... Well, all the same though..... You don't tell us former EEA members what to do anymore after that. You lost the right to know what's best for us when you left us to crumble. So why would we ever listen to you after that?
  • University: BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR THE EEA!!! NOT YOU!! It may've not been desireable, BUT I WAS IN A LOSING POSITION?! I didn't, had a choice.
  • O'Hardknocks: YOU DON'T KNOW MUD ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR US!!! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY OF US YOU LEFT TO SUFFER WITH YOUR CHOICES?! YOUR A DISGRACE TO EDUCATIONAL SYSTEMS EVERYWHERE, AND I AM NOT GOING TO REST UNTIL JUSTICE ON YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE RESPONSIBLE IS SERVED!!!!
  • ???: HOLD IT!!!
  • O'Hardknocks: OH, WHAT NOW?!?
  • Nurse Care Giver: (She appeared) Aren't you FORGETTING somepony?
  • O'Hardknocks: CARE GIVER!!! THERE YOU ARE!!! (Hugs her) WHAT DID THESE AWFUL ALIENS DO TO YOU?!?
  • Nurse Care Giver: They didn't kidnap me! They were just helping these fillies with my... Boyfriend.
  • O'Hardknocks: FILLIES THAT STALK PEOPLE?!? Ugh, looks like THEY need a proper spanking.
  • Gazelle: I do NOT condone child abuse when I'm around, good sir.
  • O'Hardknocks: Oh, I'm sorry, but I DON'T LISTEN TO SOCIALIST PACIFISTS!!!
  • Gazelle: (Scoffs offended)
  • Nurse Care Giver: WE'RE GETTING OFF THE POINT!! O'Hardknocks, care to explain what (Shows the blueprints of O'Hardknocks' School Plans) THIS is?
  • O'Hardknocks:... What, what is that?
  • Nurse Care Giver: What do you think? You lied to me. You said you weren't going to make another school.
  • O'Hardknocks:.... Care Giver, please, you must understand, you know how much that promotion had meant to me, I-
  • Nurse Care Giver: YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU SUDDENLY DECIDED THIS WHEN I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU ADMIT TO PLANNING THIS BEHIND MY BACK?!
  • O'Hardknocks: "Care Giver, I-"
  • Nurse Care Giver: I WAS INTENDING TO RETURN BACK TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE DEALT WITH, BUT WHEN YOU BROUGHT RECLINER INTO THIS, I HAD NO CHOICE!!!
  • O'Hardknocks: Care Giver, please, I only did it for the good of Equestria.
  • Nurse Care Giver: I don't think you get it, O'Hardknocks. I trusted you. You were the most broken pony I ever met and I thought you would change your bitter ways. But this oath of revenge since the destruction of the EEA has killed that O'Hardknocks. You are no longer the poor broken soul I used to know. And that's why... I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE EITHER!!!
  • O'Hardknocks:.......
  • Duke: OHHH S*** DAWG, YOU JUST GOT WRECKED!!!!
  • Nurse Care Giver: And after this, I will be giving you your last sedation, because afterward, you're on your own in R.E.P.E.N.T!
  • O'Hardknocks:...... But..... I, thought we were friends......
  • Nurse Care Giver: Yeah, that's what I thought too. But I realized that we BOTH lied to each other!
  • O'Hardknocks:... What?
  • Nurse Care Giver: I'm not a pony. Nurse Care Giver isn't even my real name... (She reveals her true form)...... My real name is Jasmina Mint. I'm a seapony from Ocequestria that left to heal hardships from another Storm Clan member. I never told you because of ponies like Neighsay. If nopony like him were in the EEA, I would've been glad to tell the truth. But... You only lied to benefit yourself instead of me. That's not being a good friend.
  • O'Hardknocks: I... I... (Sheds tears)..... Losing mother was bad enough..... But now you? (Jasmina became concerned that she pushed too hard)...... I, lost my will to continue this..... (Drops the report, and plops to the ground crying as Twilight leviated the report to herself).... (The heroes restrained him)
  • Jasmina:..... If it makes you feel better..... I only said that part about leaving you for good to scare you out of this nonsense. But, I still mean it that R.E.P.E.N.T. will take over taking care of you while I go back to Stanly.... But, I'll visit every now again to give you something nice. But overall.... I'm glad you given up willingly, and, I know it wasn't easy to do so. I wish you happiness from here on out. (Sedated him)
  • O'Hardknocks:..... Care Giver..... I'm sorry....
  • Jasmina: I know you are, and at the end of the day, that's enough for me to know that there was that small pearl of good after all. (Jasmina tossed the balled up School Plans and tossed it torwords the alley, which unknown to the leaving group, Cozy was watching as O'Hardknocks was sent away, of which she picked up the plans)
  • Cozy:... (On magic communication) Sis? O'Hardknocks is captured, but fortunately, I was able to get the Archives just when they were wrapping things up, and, as a bonus, I was even able to secure O'Hardknocks' basic plans for what would've been his own school. So, at least nothing of value was lost."
  • ???: "How unfortunate, but not unexpected. Perplexity did warn me he wasn't going to be, relieable. But, at least he was good for a distraction. Now, make haste to Perplexity's meeting spot from the outskirts and make that Transaction."
  • Cozy: "(Sarcasticly) Gee, good thing I have you constintly reminding me of something I already know what to do next."
  • ???: "Oh come now, I know it's repetitive, but it never hurts to be reminded!"
  • Cozy rolled her eyes at this as she flew off hiddenly.

Later.

  • Recliner was seen on a prepared bed.
  • Fluttershy: "..... Do you think he'll be okay?"
  • University: "Don't worry, Miss Gazelle gave enough restraint that he would only be unconjustus for a few hours. He'll end up forgetting about being summoned to ponyville. So basicly, we would have a chance to start things fresh, and I would be able to inform him that O'Hardknocks, proved inaddiquite."
  • Rainbow Dash: "But what about the Evaluation? The other members would surely still know about that."
  • University: "I'll see to it that the other members are informed that O'Hardknocks ended up breaking into madness before he could even finish the report, of which as far as they know, it went missing."
  • Pinkie: "So, what are we gonna do with the report now?"
  • Fluttershy: "Discord was nice enough to help us with that. (Discord was seen eating it like a sandwich, even though he had some relucence)..... He said that the report tasted, rather sour, and could use some more sweetener. (Discord was seen using Chocolate Milk on it and began enjoying it abit better)."
  • Icky: "Eh, at least Discord is great at disposing of troublesome paper."
  • Gallus: "So, how's O'Hardy doing?"
  • University: "Buzzord's Panic Room is, giving him so due closure for something he was, long denied of."
  • Gallus: Heh, provided it doesn't explode again. (They laughed)
  • Buzzord's voice: "AW COME NOW, I HAVE IT COMPLETELY WORKING THIS TIME?!"
  • Gallus: "Relax, Buzz, we're just having some fun!"

Chapter 5: A Relationship Saved

Jewel Tree

  • Mudbriar:... Glad to be back at the very tree we met.
  • Maud: "I'm glad too...."
  • Mudbrair: "..... Look, I'm sorry about never telling you about uncle, the tecnecally of you reading my journal aside."
  • Maud: "It's okay. I'm just glad that his heart is on the way of being amended with the holographic panic room giving him the simulation of him having long needed closure with his mother at last."
  • Mudbrair: "Agreed, he needs that, even if tecnecally, he still has to go to Project R.E.P.E.N.T. because, an improper evaluation is still a serious offence."
  • Maud: ".... Do you think Jasmina and Stanly are happy?"
  • Mudbrair: "Well, if their love is as strong as ours, then tecnecally..... We already know that answer. (The two cuddled).... So, did Pinkie say something about, a private "Feel Better about having a bad Uncle" Party? Also, a rather elaberate and overtly spefific name, don't ya think?"
  • Maud: ".... It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it."
  • Mudbrair: "Fair point. But still didn't she say that she was establishing a party here-"
  • Pinkie: (With the Jewelfish and other Geo Cave Residents) SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!! (Confetti blasted everywhere as the Jewel Tree was decorated quickly) HAPPY FEEL BETTER ABOUT HAVING A BAD UNCLE DAY, AAAAAAAAND RECONCILIATION DAY!!!!! (Blasts multiple party cannons and formed a massive party)
  • Mudbriar:... Normally, I'd find this obscene for such a sacred tree, but... It looks good this way.
  • Maud:... It does.... (The two kissed)
  • Pinkie: Awwwww!!!
  • Squire Ruby: How romantic.
  • Pearl:... Sissy stuff.
  • Squire Ruby: D'AHHH, LOOK, A DRAGON!!!
  • Pearl: WHERE?!
  • Squire Ruby: (Scoffs hysterically and laughed along with the others)
  • Pearl:... Not funny. LOOK, AN ACTUAL DRAGON!!!!
  • Duke Topaz: WHERE?!?
  • Pearl: (Laughs much harder) YOU GUYS ARE SO EASY TO GET BACK AT!! (Laughs)
  • Duke Topaz: ".... DAH LOOK OUT, A DRAGON?!"
  • Pearl: "Tch, I ain't gonna fall for the same trick twi- (Smolder grabbed Pearl as she screamed)?! NO, DON'T EAT ME?!"
  • Smolder: "Wait, you talked? DAMN IT, AND FLUTTERSHY TOLD ME THAT IF IT TALKS, IT'S SENTIENT, AND YA CAN'T EAT SENTIENT CRITTERS?! (Drops Pearl) Guess I own Gallus ten bits! (Leave angerly) (Grumbles) Stupid smugalic cash-obcessed bird-cat hybrid!"
  • Pearl: "..... How's about, we agree, that we're even steven?"
  • Duke Topaz: ".... May this lesson, humble you well."
  • Pearl: "(Annoyed and deadpan) Don't push your luck, Half-Pops."

Cutie Mark Camp

  • Applebloom: HERE YE HERE YE!!! THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!! The interracial students are on their way. (The campers cheered)
  • Hedron: YES! Glad to finally be among other creatures that can receive cutie marks.
  • Aquamarine: (Holding Porosity) I hope a merpony joins us! I'd get more swim buddies.
  • M-Theory: Are there going to be Changeponies?
  • Sweetie Belle: If by that you mean Changeling-Pony hybrids, then, sorry, but no. The only one that exists so far is Insecta. And, even then, we're not sure if cutie marks is possable with all Changeys.
  • M-Theory: Well, Destiny's homeland has existed a long time and Changelings are more accepted now. You may never know any are out there.
  • Sweetie Belle: Sorry, but don't get your hopes up. (A giant bus carriage came up)
  • Stallion: (Dubbed as Camp Camp Quartermaster) Campers are here.
  • Applebloom: Everypony, meet Vigor... (An adorable impure hippogriff filly came)... Yardwing... (An impure hippalectryon appeared)... Elm (A shy impure peryton came out)... Sorus, Thallus, Agar, and Kelpfly... (Four merpony fillies jump out enthusiastically)... Gemini... (A pony with two unicorn horns came)... Tigereye... (An alphyn, or pony with feet, came out)... And... Whoa... And quite surprising, a 'dracony' named... Sunbreath... (A dragon-pony hybrid came in) A... 'hippopony' named Stormbird (A pure hippogriff-pony hybrid came out)... And- Oh by Gaia's karmic justice, you can't be serious... Two changeponies named Wax and Weave. (A young male and female changepony came out)...
  • M-Theory: YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
  • Scootaloo: SWEET GODS, WHERE DID THESE STRANGERS COME FROM?!?
  • Sweetie Belle: Yeah, we weren't expecting hybrids.
  • Stormbird: Some of us wanted to come here because we're bullied for no cutie marks.
  • Sunbreath: Some of us did NOT take it responsibly, lemme tell you!
  • Kelpfly: (Fluttershy tone) You poor things.
  • ???: I don't blame you guys. (A multicolored adolescent dragon appeared) Not exactly hard to ignore a hybrid.
  • Scootaloo: (Unamusingly) Oh, hello, Agate!
  • Dragon (Agate): Yeesh, ya sound your still peevey about somethin'.
  • Scootaloo: "KINDA EASY TO DO SO AFTER THE STUNTS YOU PULLED?!"
  • Agate: Look, calm down over here, don't be THAT peed off, Scooter. I've learned my lesson. I, for one, am glad we have a dragon hybrid with you. These little scamps will fit in well amongst each other and accepting ponies. Never exactly seen a hybrid myself, but there's a first time for everything, am I right?
  • Sunbreath:... (Suddenly blushed wildly at the sight of Agate)......
  • Agate: So, Sunny Breath, how was the trip?
  • Sunbreath:... (Love-dazed) Nice.
  • Agate: "..... Dude, ya totally said that weirdly."
  • Sunbreath realised this and snapped out of it.
  • Sundreath: "Uh, buh-duh..... Sorry! I, didn't, expected a normal dragon to be this far within pony terratory."
  • Agate: "You can thank how sucky dragon life typically is for that, well, for the wild dragons anyways. Look, I'm just here to check you guys out, I'll be out of yer hairs in a jiff. (Proceeds to leave, as Cunion, Potamoe, and Larroty arrived.)"
  • Potamoe: "Hey girls, how's camping do- (Sees that the pony campers got cutie marks and the new mythic/hybrid campers)... Innnnng?"
  • Larroty: "..... Oh what did we missed this time?"
  • Cunion: "I know, right? Nyak Nyak Nyak, we're always the last ones to know these things! Whoo-whoo-whoo!"
  • The Kids started laughing!
  • Sweetie Belle: So you guys want cutie marks, huh?
  • Vigor: "Well, they're kinda symbols of growing up, so-"
  • Sweetie Belle: Well, good enough for me. Welcome to camp. Show them around, VeggieTales Gang.
  • Cunion: Wow, really? Going to bring that joke back? Nyak Nyak, it wasn't even THAT funny the first time.
  • Larroty: "Just go along with it."
  • The New Campers get excited and pounce onto the trio!
  • Potamoe: "D'OW?! I KNOW BEING ASSISTENT COUNSILERS IS ROUGH WORK, BUT THIS IS A REDICULIOUS, DOW?!"
  • Sweetie Belle:... I can tell we're going to have a lot of fun with you young misfits.
  • Agate: Yeah, looks like it.
  • CMC: GO HOME!!!!
  • Agate: "I WAS ALREADY ON MY WAY WHEN I STOPPED TO LOOK AT YOUR STOOGES' COMEDY ROTINE?! SHEESH! (Leaves for real)

Epilogue

Cozy's room, a day after Friendship University.

  • ???: "I CAN'T BELIEVE PERPLEXITY'S PLAN FAILED?! AND ALL THAT HARD WORK FOR NOTHING?!"
  • Cozy: "Hey, just be glad you were at least able to get the idea off the ground.... That didn't meant it was actselly going to work. Guess that was karma giving us due payback for the stunt you made me pull."
  • ???: "Ugh. Look, I'm sorry if your efferts to accquire the archives and those risky manuvers of screwing around the Lougers' aims to capture O'Hardknocks ended up being for naught."
  • Cozy: "WELL IT PROBULY DIDN'T HELPED THAT YOU LET PERPLEXITY GET NEIGHSAY AND TWO CON PONIES INVOLVED WITH THOSE PLANS?!"
  • ???: "Well it would've been too risky if I did it or if Perplexity did it! It would've been too easy for Twilight to undermine! With those brothers, well, at least they know how to be sneaky well enough to predict Sparkle's follies from awhile away."
  • Cozy: "IF ONLY BECAUSE SHE ONLY HAD A FREAKING EYEPATCH, AND YET RARITY COMPLETELY FOOLED THOSE RESORT OWNING DUNDERHEADS?!"
  • ???: "Well I wager she had a better disguise, or that she intended Sparkle to be caught to bait the brothers into unwittingly admiting that they were up to something..... Or a rare moment of bad hindsight from a pony with an eye-for-detail."
  • Cozy: "I'm voting more for it's that, and some dumb luck that abunch of conmen would not exactly be humble about themselves! Also, Perplexity SERIOUSLY HAD TO LIE ABOUT THE E.E.A. STILL BEING UP?!"
  • ???: "..... Okay, I admit, that part was stupid. But give her credit, she well-utilised the fact news travels too slow in Equestria."
  • Cozy: "Well congradulations, Neighsay got caught by the interracial six when they ACTSELLY wanted to try out that new friendship school and found him and his dunderheads snickering like school girls on how great their plan is?! They ended up shooting the plan in the hoof, before it was even seriously taken down! AND IT GOT STARSWIRL TO REALISE HE WAS BEING HAD?!.... Though unsurprisingly he never seriously bought Neighsay's bullshit to begin with."
  • ???: "Okay okay, you made your point?! I think it's obvious that trying to make a Counter-Friendship School would offer, no serious results. If anything, all it did was lead MORE students into Sparkle's school and needlessly damage the reputation of some silly resort owners for nothing! Sometimes, Perplexity can scare me with her mind-boggling tricks. Perhaps it's better for you to, lay low while I devise a better plan."
  • Cozy: "Ugh, THANK YOU! Maybe NOW I can enjoy a normal life for the time being! I was freaking LUCKY that the misfits desided to priortised O'Hardknocks more then go after my ass! And that dispite being general, that paranoid Peacock was BARELY taken seriously!"
  • ???: "Well, that didn't meant that they were being incompident, they just know it's better to prioritised a major threat more then some random nobody even only MINORLY aiding the threat! They considered it more impourent to protect the School from, a more intermediate danger from O'Hardknocks' "Lost Report", then to go after some obscure savatour. But be warned. Just because the Peacock doesn't nessersarly suspect you, that doesn't mean his mistrust torwords you, hasn't grown stronger. He is likely to have heard about how you defended O'Hardknocks and made Spiracle look like a disrespectful twat!"
  • Cozy: "And he did, no thanks to you telling me to do that to begin with! In fact, Shen is giving me even WORSE stink-eyes now! I'm just luckly Spiracle was kind enough to rule out what I did was just being done because I was being a good grand niece for University, or else, then it wouldn't've been just the PEACOCK breathing down my neck?! Cause trust me, at least the Peacock is an alien and only comes to Equestria when called, but Spiracle actselly LIVES HERE?! AND IT'S NOT EASY TO KEEP SECRETS FROM A F*****G CHANGELING?! HE COULD EVEN BE MY F*****G BED AND I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT?!"
  • ???: "WELL CALM DOWN AND BE GLAD THAT THE OLD OAF DIDN'T SUSPECT A THING?! Be grateful he desided to only view it as you backing family, and that you were defending University's decidion, not nessersarly O'Hardknocks. That being said, keeping a low profile is still a much needed thing. I'll take a good while to get a new plan operational soon. Your sister, out."
  • The Artifact turns off, as Cozy aims to go to sleep, but then becames overtly cautious and becomes afraid of the bed actselly being Spiracle, Ocellus, or Gaster in disguise out to expose her.....

Morning.

  • Outside the School, the Students were prepared for another day, as Gaster was seen doing his flight exsirsizes, but was surprised to see an exhausted Cozy sleeping ackwordly on top of a present tree.....
  • Gaster: "..... Yeesh. Someone must've had night terrors. (Chuckles as he buzzed on)."
  • Cozy: "(Sleep Talk) Don't, trust, my bed. (Snores).... It could be a Changeling."
  • Gallus showed up with Smolder and saw this.
  • Smolder: "..... YO DOLLFACE?!"
  • Cozy freaked out and fell from the tree and crashed into the school's pond!
  • Gallus: "..... Well that was a fine how-do-you-do."
  • Cozy: "(Blubs alot in the water) (Surfaces out) (GASPS FOR AIR)!? Ughhhhhh! (Saw the two)...... Sworry. I'd wave a wightware."
  • Gallus: "..... Ya mean you were sleeping on that tree in an awkword position, over Night Terrors?"
  • Smolder: ".... Tch, if ya ask me, then Luna's starting to f*** up her ONE job if that's what happened to ya."
  • Cozy: "What w'day wis wit?"
  • Gallus: ".... I'm sorry, is that sleep talk or are you forgeting how to do a proper Elmer Fudd talk?"
  • Cozy:... Oh, it's... Uh... I've been getting fear-inducing nightmares. I suddenwy feel hesitant about-
  • Smolder: I'll have to stop you right there. I can already guess your paranoid that Spiracle or Ocellus and Gasty are gonna turn into complete Shens on ya and spy on you as things like your freaking bed, right? Cause I see no other way why you would sleep on a freaking tree. See, Changelings CAN shapeshift, but it is mostly limited to just creatures. Changelings can rarely take the form of inanimate objects. If anything, this is just paranoia.
  • Cozy: Oh thank goodness- I mean... Goody. Gwad there's nothing to be afwaid of.
  • Gallus: "But what about when Pharynx and Thorax were able to turn into things like rocks? (Cozy became concerned from that!)."
  • Smolder: "That's because Thorax and Pharynx was unitquely powerful enough to actselly do that. Pharynx WAS a Changeling commander after all, and Thorax.... Well, that new taller form is likely for a reason. Ocellus told me that they were some of the "Gifted" Changelings, in that they likely had bloodlines to particularly stronger changelings, even more then Chrysalis and her mom."
  • Gallus: "Makes sense. (Cozy sighed in relief). But, wouldn't Spiracle be a particularly stronger Changeling too?"
  • Smolder: "Well, yeah, (Cozy got worried again), But the best he can muster up is rocks and trees. And even then, Spiracle's too much of a softie of an old coot to really spy on people unless he KNOWS they're up to no good. (Cozy sighed in relief)."
  • Ocellus: (Arriving) But I'm pretty sure I heard Vertex saying that Changelings in Destiny's kingdom can learn to be inanimate objects and has seen such examples in-
  • Cozy: OKAY, WHY DO YOU KEEP STOPPING SHORT?! NOW YOU'RE JUST TEASING ME!!!! (They stopped)... Ugh, sowwy. I just get fwustwated sometimes. I just... I gotta go. (Flies away)
  • Smolder:... Was it something we said?

Fin....

  • ???: HOLD IT!
  • Deadpool crashes in!
  • Deadpool: Hi, boys and girls! Did you miss me? I browsed around the wiki and saw you were working on my next episode, so I thought I'd introduce myself for those who came in late. (Clear throat...)
Deadpool \ Deadpool Bio

Deadpool \ Deadpool Bio

The classic Deadpool intro (Did someone call?)

  • Deadpool: Now that that's out of the way, next on SpongeBob and Friends, Deadskool! Oh, and about Babe from Viral Vi-tor Gets Real? Don't worry.... (Brings up Babe himself)..... I took cared of that owed debt myself. So don't worry about me complaining about Babe being a continued thing. So, Toodles! (Zips off)

Fin....?

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