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Too Zesty For My Tastes is the 52nd Episode of Season 3A of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Canterlot has noticeingly gotten more and more unitge restaurents as such places started to pop up in Canterlot and the more sofisicated ones started to become scarse and almost non-existent. Even the Higher classes like Fancy Pants began recimending the more unitge restaurents over the "Three Hooves" Restaurents. As such, Zesty Gourmand has fallen from social graces and lost her crediability as a critic, being fired from the Critics Union of Equestia and stripped of her status. She has since sturggled to keep ahold of the Gourmand mansion that's been in her family for generations. She has now harbored great resentment torwords Rarity and Pinkie Pie as a result. That's why she enlsited her absint-minded but talently magical daughter Happy Gourmand, who very unlike her mother, is open-minded to all forms of food but dutifully loves and listens to Zesty out of being a good daughter, to go and find her some helpers to "Correct these grivious misconceptions". Zesty sends her disguised as Princess Candence to bail out Svengallop, Wind Rider, and Dr. Eureka (by his relucence), out of the Black Staillion Asylum and into the Gourmand manor. Acknowledging that the trio aren't enough for her plans, she then magicly enfluences Dr. Eureka back into his former persona and had him instructed to create fake coupons for each of the more unitge restaurents to the Villain Teams and any still on the loose independent villain! As such, these villains came to honor thier clearly fake coupons to the restaurents, espeically The Tasty Treat, own by Saffron Masala and her father Coriander Cumin, the indian India sytile restaurent that inspired the change to begin with. As such, because the owners trying to insist they never sent out coupons, let alone to villains, this enraged and insulted the villains in feeling like they came out here for nothing and declaired that the restaurents will be destroyed for this, along witht their owners! Concerned by the strange but still troubling appearence, Celestia warns the Mane 7 who in turn contacted the Lougers and several allies for help! Rarity and Pinkie quickly suspected that something's up, espeically when Candence reported that she was framed for bailing out Svengallop, Wind Rider and Dr. Eureka. Can our heroes be able to pinpoint and find the causer of all this AFTER they protected the business owners from the pissed off villains?

Transcript

Chapter 1: A Critic Who Lost Her Zest

The Aftermath of Spice Up Your Life.

  • Zesty Gourmand was seen returning to a sofisicated building with a sign that reads "Critics Cafe: The Critic HQ of The Critics Union of Equestia". Zesty looks extremely bothered by the aftermath of Rarity and Pinkie bringing ponie's attention to The Tasty Treat.
  • Zesty: "What came over that fastionista pony and her idiotic pink friend? Why must they bother helping that cultural eyesore that is clearly the qouted, "Tasty Treat". If it was desten for failure, why help it? Canterlot was simply not meant for such commoner nonsense like, whatever strange exotic sludge those two had the ordasity to serve. So ponies actselly want to try that garbage? BAH! Clearly the new generation doesn't know refine and sofisicated eatery if it bit them in the flanks! Bah! No matter. It'll end up being a briefly lived fad and ponies will go back to enjoy true masterful foods and not garbage like curry or whatever it's called. That blasted Rarity is lucky I have more impourent things to do then seek out to ruin her name in canterlot for going out of her element. But that over-rated wrench better hope she doesn't cross paths with me again, or I may not be so kind next time. Ohh. I suppse being around my fellow critics will sooth my disappointment. Espeically since they gotten rid of that Praiser Pan idiot. He was never a real critic. Not like me. I have upheld Canterlot eatery to a standerd."
  • Zesty then proceeded to enter the building, as so, suddenly every single critic of every kind of sytile, art, food, movie, game, toys, politcal, establishment, entertainment media, music, wines, and more, all stared with surprise, disgust, and unamusement to the return of Zesty.
  • Zesty was admitingly caught off guard by that.....
  • Zesty: "....... Odd.... At best I usually only get a small acknowledgement then ponies go back to their business. Oh, I must've came in after everypony just came back from an exhausting day no doubt."
  • ???: "YOU?!"
  • Hoity Toity came in.
  • Hoity Toity: "YOU, have some nerve to show yourself here after what the news has reported!"
  • Zesty looks around abit, hoping that Hoity was calling out someone else.
  • Hoity Toity: "Oh for Celestia's sake, you old bat, I meant YOU!?"
  • Zesty: "A-wha, ME?! Moi?! Mr. Hoity Toity, I have just been insulted by you! And what do you mean what the news reported?"
  • Newspaper critic: "Well, it seems that the latest news done exbertly by newsletter veterens in the Equestia Daily printing press and likewise others have reported that you refused to give the Tasty Treat your approval and recminidation dispite it being popular with the ponies for it's unigteness."
  • Zesty: "........ You're joking right? You people never had problems with my ways before. Why start now?"
  • Movie Critic: "(Looking like Nostagila Critic pony) ISN'T IT OBVIOUS, YOU TASTELESS HACK!? You just commited an act of making our union look like it doesn't know what's doing!? I mean, I now feel as if that our lives would be so much happer if you didn't existed?!"
  • Zesty: "Wha, wha, Nostaglia Pony, what, what do you mean!?"
  • Nostaglia Critic Pony: "(Gets angry and frustiated!?)"
Nostalgia_Critic-_Hyper_Fangirl_Rant

Nostalgia Critic- Hyper Fangirl Rant

  • Nostaglia Critic Pony: "WE HATE YOU NOW?! WE HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!? IF THERE WAS A LIKEABLE SCALE BETWEEN 1 AND 10, YOU BE NEGITIVE PIE?! YOU ARE NOW WANTED IN ALL COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD OF EQUESTIA SO PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!? IF THEY WERE TO MAKE A CLOUNE ABOUT YOU, IT'D BE CALLED "ODE DE GAR-BAGE"!? IF CANCER GOT CANCER, YOU'D BE THE ONE THEY NAMED IT AFTER?! KNOCK-KNOCK?!"
  • Zesty: "(Bewildered and hurt) Who's there?"
  • Nostaglia Critic Pony: "NOBODY!? BECAUSE NOPONY WOULD EVER WANT TO SEE YOU?! WHEN PEOPLE ASKED SPIRITUAL ALICORNS THE MEANING OF LIFE, IT'S TO STAY AWAY FROM YOUR DUMBASS, YOUR BAY-PONY'S LOST SYMPATHY?! DEATH TO JOY?! WOULD ANYONE IN A SLEEVELESS TRENCHCOAT, WHITE SHIRT, BLACK LEGGINGS, IS A BITTER OLD UNICORN, POINTY NOSE, POINTY EARS, STUPID EYEBROWS AND A LIKEABLE PERSONALITY PLEASE RAISE THEIR HOOVE!? (Zesty tries to do that fidgetly) YOUR TOO STUPID TO EVEN GET THAT JOKE?! (MAGICLY PULLS DOWN AN EVOLUTIONARY SCALE WITH ALL THE PONY EVOLUTIONS GETTING AWAY FROM A PICTURE OF ZESTY) ON THE EVOULIONARY SCALE, EVERY ONE OF OUR RACE'S PAST AND FUTURE IS FUCKING AFRAID OF YOU?! YOUR THE SURGEN GENERAL'S WARNING ON A PACK OF CIGERITES!? (MAGICLY DONS A CHEERLEADER'S OUTFIT BUILDT FOR PONIES!) GIVE ME A W, GIVE ME AN E, GIVE ME A H A T E U!? WE, HATE, YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!?"
  • Zesty shed a tear....
  • Zesty: "But, but, why?"
  • A Boss Critic came in.
  • Boss Ciritc: "(Godfather impression) It's because you failed to uphold the critic's oath. You failed to be honest with people, you failed to be honest with yourself, you failed to be honest with us. I'm disappointed in you, Zest, we welcomed you into our family, we treated you like family, my late grandmother made you her lovely conallies every chance she gets. (An Art Critic did a cathletic prayer next to an artist painting of an elderly pony simular to Granny Smith).... And how you repaid our generosity? You threaten ponies their ability to own a business with bad reviews. You disrespected them, you disrespected me, you disrespected everyone, you disrespected my grandmother who showed you nothing but kindness even after you lost your husband Tasty Gourmand to a terrorable cooking accsident. I know you were never the same after that mess, that you prefer to enjoy bland tasting sofisicated food, since no other cook will ever be able to match your late husband, and I understand why your like this, but what you did wasn't right. You shouldn't have done what you did. Now, cause of this, I'm afraid that means that you're no longer welcomed to this family."
  • Zesty Gourmand: "(GASP)!?......... Sir, please tell me you don't mean-"
  • Boss Critic: "I apologies for this Zesty..... But to denounce your unprofessionalisum..... You're gonna have to be let go. Your no longer apart of the Critics Union of Equestia. Boys?"
  • Two Minotaur bouncers in well-refine suits drag away Zesty.
  • Zesty: "NO!? TOP CRITIC, PLEASE, I'LL PROMISE I WON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN!?"
  • Boss Critic: "And you'll never will."
  • Zesty: "NO?! PLEASE?! EVER SINCE TASTY'S PASSING, I'VE ONLY WANTED TO PROTECT CANTERLOT FROM COMPETATION!? UNITGENESS RUINED MY HUSBAND'S LIFE AND LEFT ME WITHOUT HIM!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO-"
  • Zesty was tossed out of the building by the bouncers as magic caused it to close rapidly!
  • Zesty was laying on the floor, defeated and broken.
  • Zesty: "...... Tasty..... I'm so sorry."

The weeks that followed...

  • Zesty was meeting some Bank ponies in the bank.
  • Zesty: "Please, let me keep the Gourmand Mansion, it's all that I have left. Just allow me a chance to pay off the dept, I'll find a way, please.... I suffered enough since one mis-step costed me my job, not helping also is the lawsuits I dealt with and lost, and-"
  • The head Bank Pony: "(Raised his hoof to silence Zesty)...... Very well Zesty. We'll allow only ONE, additional week. But only out of respect for your husband, the famed chief Tasty Gourmand. But be made aware. That repsect can't keep us from doing our job. You failed to pay your morgade by then.... Then I'm sorry. It's nothing personal, Zesty. The rules of the banks make us do this. Have you told your daughter of the situation?"
  • Zesty: "No, please, her magic-asbergers makes her, too sensitive, like she's still a foal."
  • Head Bank Pony: "Well you can't keep her in the dark forever. She will know about this eventually. Mentally disabled or not, she's a smart enough girl, and her surprisingly strong magic capabilities enable her to know spells even Princess Twilight only reads about in books. She's not as foolish as mental-weaknesses would make her."
  • Zesty: "..... I understand.... But, I rather wait on that abit. I, want to make this gentle as possable."
  • Head Bank Pony: "Fair enough.... But hopefully, the dept will no longer be an issue by then. If not.... Then I wish I could help you more in some way."
  • Zesty got up and left.

Outside the Bank

  • Zesty walks on, defeated and dejected.
  • Zesty: "..... My life..... In shambles....... My career as a critic.... Ruined...... And it's all thanks to YOU?! (Points to Rarity's face on an advertisement for the Canterlot Bontigue.)........ I swear on this, Fastionista, you'll learn of the pain, I AM GOING THROUGH?! (FIRES A BEAM AT THE POSTER AND SETS IT ON FIRE?!).... I'll make you suffer, like HOW I am suffering!? (Sees the more unitgeifived Canterlot restaurents)..... Starting with the likes of those stains of Canterlot Cusine. (Sighs)..... But how?.... (Walks on) It's not like I can just go forth and attack those restaurents! My reputation is in enough shame as it is, and-"
  • She stops by a TV store, and on them, The UU News is playing. But is too depressed to watch and attempted to move on.
  • News Anchur: "And once again, the villain Kung Pow has desided to REALLY mess with the natural order of things."
  • Zesty stopped by that and came to watch the screen.
  • News Anchur 2: "Indeed he has. The nasty little dragon has reserected a double whammy for the heroes. He reserected the previously dead Deer-A-Nator and her son to make her serve as a minion and use her to destroy the Lougers, his nefpew Mushu espeically, as payback for two previous humiliations. We go now live to a Dragon Realms News Reporter live on the scene."
  • A Raccoon news reporter is seen on the scene of the Lougers battling Deer-A-Nator.
  • Raccoon reporter: "As you can see here, the Lougers are having a serious battle against a formerly dead female deer from a long while back who was reserected by the Prison 42 escapee, Kung Pow, out for the sake of petty revenge. Even with the Uniter present, this is garrentied to be a long battle. And as we know, long battles tend to leave serious damage in the city as always. Just like last week's Junjie attack where cause of him being able to reactivate a lost CIS Battle Droid Factory, the damage was bad enough that it almost lead to the periment shut down of many businesses and stores, espeically restaurents. If this battle continues, and if serious enough, we could see periment closings."
  • Zesty stared in awe-struck as the words "Periment Closings" echoed in her head....
  • Zesty suddenly smiled like the grinch.
  • Zesty: "..... Alchourse..... Who better to ruin those unigifived restaurents, then villains? Oh bother! It's not like I can just ask them myself! That could either risk an ineditable betrayal like what happened with that Suri pony, or just straight up humiliation like with the shamed Prince Blueblood! I need a way to have them do my dirty work without their knowing and-"
  • Zesty sees some dirty coupons for the Tasty Treat.
  • Zesty: ".... Coupons? Oh great, those two yokels from the Elephant Lands are giving out coupons for free..... Meals......"
  • Zesty grinned like the Chesure Cat now.
  • Zesty: "..... Perfect......"
  • Zesty walked off, knowing what she aims to do now as she climbed on a Chariot in shape of a limozene.
  • Zesty: "Dutiful Chauffeur, take me back to my mansion! I need to see my daughter again for something that'll finally slove my problems."
  • The Limo Chariot puller, a well dressed but stone-cold faced stallian, with frankenstein like gaze, grunted in agreement. This was Dutiful Chauffeur.
  • Dutiful Chauffeur pulled Zesty on the limo chariot as she was grinning wildly.

Meanwhile.

  • Twilight: (As the Mane Six and Lightning Dust and friends travel through Canterlot as Nightmare Night decorations were seen)... Ah, it's going to be Nightmare Night in Equestria soon.
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah! It's going to be wicked.
  • Applejack: I'm just glad that Fluttershy won't miss out this time because Celestia's soon to plan something big for not only all of us, but also one especially for her.
  • Fluttershy: I sure hope it's not... Well... TOO scary.
  • Pinkie: Oh, cheer up, Fluttershy. Besides, I know just the place we can go to blow off all this steam. The one and only Tasty Treat. After all, we are DUE for one as a make up for Lightning Dust for missing out on the celebration party for her grade ever since the uh.... Changeling Mishap.
  • Rarity: Thank goodness, I could use some ACTUAL original cuisine since Zesty's domino effect died out.
  • Twilight: Yeah. Apparently, since you two saved that restaurant, the others in the neighborhood have been gaining much more originality to them.
  • Pinkie: YAY! No more boring cuisine.
  • Rarity: And good riddance, too. Canterlot really NEEDED originality from all over the country. Otherwise, this would soon enough be the LAST place I'd go for lunch. I mean, I usually don't have an issue with more refined cusine, but the truth of the matter is, Canterlot should be more then just refine taste. It should open it's doors to other ideals of taste as well. I, just wish I understood Zesty's reasonings other then just being abit fussy.
  • Applejack: And clearly the smells are telling us the entire story.
  • Pinkie: (Takes a massive sniff of them) AHHHHHH! Smells from the heavens above.
  • Rarity: Ahh, there we are. (They come by the Tasty Treat, and enter)
  • Pinkie: GUESS WHO'S BAAAAACK?!?
  • All Customers: PINKIIIIE!!!
  • Applejack: "Wow, you're surprisingly popular here."
  • Pinkie: "Alchourse. I pretty much new every old and current generation of Equestia at this point. NOW WHERE'S MY FAVERITE CHEF SAFFRON!?"
  • Saffron: (Appears) Pinkie! Rarity! Nice of you to drop by. Happy Nightmare Night.
  • Pinkie: It ain't even Nightmare Night yet, silly.
  • Coriander: Well, I say it's still nice to say such at this time of year.
  • Saffron: And... Are these your friends?
  • Coriander: And it seems the Princess of Friendship herself is here.
  • Twilight: Yeah, and I must say, since Pinkie and Rarity fixed this place up, Restaurant Row has been getting a little more original cuisine from all over Equestria.
  • Saffron: Yes, it certainly has. We've gotten to know many of them since the last time you came.
  • Coriander: And apparently, somepony from our hometown opened a restaurant right next door, and Saffron seems to be dating one of their employers.
  • Saffron: Ah, yes. This little row of Canterlot has come a long way since Zesty.
  • Rarity:... Speaking of which, I haven't head much of her since her many lawsuits by the various restaurent owners and her bad tidings with the Critics Union, do you know what happened to her?
  • Coriander: Well, this infomation was mostly kept quiet to the public, but, prior to the lawsuits, the union fired her.
  • Mane Six: FIRED?!?
  • Coriander: Oh, totally true. Apparently, the Critics Union were appalled by her actions, and after seeing clearly what she was doing to Restaurant Row, they fired her. Don't know what happened to her afterward apart from those lawsuits.
  • Pinkie:... That's... Kinda sad. And I feel awful for her, even if she was a total snooty batooty! And I feel awful about what I said back in Real Tests with Unreal Problems. Chalk one up as another Fillie Vanilli for me!
  • Rainbow Dash: "I'm calling it! She's gonna become another tainted pony over this and seek revenge!"
  • Rarity: "Isn't that a bit extreme to assume that, Rainbow?"
  • Rainbow Dash: "Oh-ho-ho! Let's recall the times we dealt with tainted ponies..... Both canonly, AND IN THE SAF SERIES! Nightmare Moon, Trixie, Twice, The Flimflam bros, three times, King Sombra, The Pinkie Clone army, Almost Lightning Dust, Sunset, Dr. Caballeron, twice, AND WHO WE STILL HAVEN'T CAPTURED BY THE WAY, The Mane-Iac tecnecally, Suri Polomare, TWICE, Starlight, THREE TIMES, Wind Rider, MORE THEN ONCE, Svengallop, ALSO MORE THEN ONCE, Gladmane, Dead Sea, Pred and his daughters, MORE THEN ANYONE REALLY WANTED TO, Shineflare back when she was encharged of the unicorn council, Prince Blueblood, Black Tie, Celery and Fruit Salad, The Sin Ponies, Sopony, Death Coffin, Oak Golden, that one pony who was with that really dark rights group at the end of The Tri of Justice, that little Emerald punk, Dr. Eureka, Pred's SUPER freaky ansister, Acidburn, AND THAT'S ONLY WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT AND/OR COULD COVER AT THE MOMENT?! And don't get me started on the jerks we met in the comics! We'd be here FOREVER!"
  • Rarity: "Ok ok, you made your point, Rainbow Dash. Though I have reason to believe Zesty is too civilised to snoop to such levels."
  • Twilight: "Rainbow isn't exactly wrong about being concerned, Rarity. Remember that Suri ended up surprising us by managing to get the Scourge Imperials involved?"
  • Coriander: "Wow, that's rare."
  • Pinkie: "And Blueblood DID got Team Nefarious involved."
  • Spike: "And those Sin Ponies did started out as leagers."
  • Starlight: "And I got involved with a misfited ragtag team of unallied villains, while I was with Fem Fatala. Heck, even an alternate villain team's finest assassin."
  • Rainbow Dash: "Oh you mean Caera? I still remember on what a badass she was! She made even the artifical alicorn guards look like a total joke."
  • Rarity: "Yes, but what was the commen theme with those involvements?"
  • Applejack: "That they either end in ineditable betrayal,"
  • Pinkie: "TOTAL HUMILIATION,"
  • Spike: "Or both?"
  • Rarity: "Exactly. And I suspect that Zesty would be cautious about those things, epseically with the controversey she has already. Not to mention that she's smart enough to know that the Louger's usual rogue galley are not very good with being trustworthy."
  • Twilight: "Intelligence can be a double-edged sword, Rarity. She could find an indirect way to get the villains to seek vengence for her without them knowing."
  • Rarity: "..... I don't suppose it wouldn't hurt to keep cautious, but I have no doubt that Zesty knows better then that, espeically with the current predicerment she's in."
  • Applejack: "Well, we're just gonna have to trust that she does and hope for the best. Now how's about we worry about Zesty later and enjoy ourselves?"
  • Twilight: "Fair enough."
  • Lightning Dust: "Oh, speaking about the Lougers, did you hear about that Kung Pow creep? Not only did he broke out, but he reserected that poor but crazy deer lady and is bribing her with her also reserected son to basicly be that little creep's patsy! Can you believe that?!"
  • Spike: "Ugh, TELL ME ABOUT IT! I really hope the Lougers are able to help Miss Vambi out of that mess and give Kung-Pow a very painful lession for this, am I right?"
  • Rarity: Indeed. But that's irrelivent. I just came here for a nice lunch for our Nightmare Night stay in Canterlot, and now I hear that Zesty is in a situation that's likely or unlikely to make her as vengeful as any other ponies from our pasts.
  • Saffron: Well, the lunch will certainly help you relax for the moment. Why don't you pick a seat and we'll be with you shortly?
  • Coriander: You'll be fascinated to know we got some appetizers.
  • Pinkie: THAT SOUNDS NICE!
  • Saffron: Well, pick a seat. (They did so)
  • Midnight: "Perhaps some lunch will ease our concerns."
  • Rainbow Dash: Sure hope so. That revelation of a possible new threat might be AS concerning as the rest of the crap we put up with. I mean, we've have QUITE an adventure last week. I think after Twilight and Candence's Changeling adventure, we could USE a serious break.
  • Fluttershy: And good, because that would be a little frightening to think about at this time of year.
  • Rainbow Dash: I'm with you on that one, Fluts. I may be used to fear to the point where I enjoy it, but that doesn't mean I don't know what is dangerous and what isn't. Hopefully, after we refresh ourselves here, it'll all be behind us.

Chapter 2: Happy Gourmand

Meanwhile.

  • Zesty's limo-chariot arrived at a victorian, ancient, almost haunted house-like mansion, as it stopped, and Zesty got off and proceeded to enter the mansion.

Inside Gourmand Mansion.

  • Zesty walks past two cowardly servants, a Butler and a Maid, walks through a hallway of armor similar to that found in the Castle of the Two Sisters, followed by a hallway filled with Gourmand ancestry, one picture is of a large-bodied chef unicorn where around the picture is the equivalent of a shrine, where Zesty took a brief stop to morn for this pony in the picture, looking at the words written under the frame: "Anypony can cook. -Tasty Gourmand", followed by "R.I.P.- Died as he lived in a cooking accident. 1969-1989", where Zesty gave a brief tear to this....
  • Zesty then mustered up the will to put her mourning aside and proceeded onward, as she was watched by the cowardly maid and butler.
  • Zesty climbed up the stairs leading to a room covered with smiley-faced flowers, which did not matched the theme of the mansion at all, as she entered, the cowardly butler and maid still watched in secret.

Inside. 

  • Zesty walked in a surprisingly large, pink room filled with posters of Sapphire Shores, Countess Coloratura, and of Ogres & Oubliettes, Zesty gave a bizarrely warm demeanor.
  • Zesty: Daughter, come forth, I have a plan on how we can solve ALL our problems.
  • Zesty's Daughter: (Appears from a powerful teleportation spell and is revealed as a unicorn almost simular to Starlight, but with pupils in different rainbow colors and wearing a weird horn-helmet on her horn) You do mom?
  • Zesty: Surely. It's a plan that'll get us money, and to do that, we simply caused a series of unfortunate events to cause the closings of the new "Unique" restaurants that shamed Canterlot's Restaurant Row! Basically, a food ethnic cleansing if you will.
  • Zesty's Daughter:... Mother, I don't think that's, very nice.
  • Zesty:... (Sighs), I really don't want to have to tell you this, but..... Happy, I have to be honest with you, we only have a week to do this. The Bank won't allow another week. And nopony wants to hire me because of what I did. And if I end up homeless, that means I can't keep you anymore. You'll be sent to live with somepony who can't addaquitly care for you with your condition of magic-asbergers. Nopony else will ever understand your magic capabilities outshining then even ALL 4 princesses of Equestia and nearly the King and Queen! I want to be able to protect you from those that would only fear you or misuse you, don't you want me to be able to continue that?
  • Happy:... Yes?
  • Zesty: Then you have to work with me on this. This is by far our only chance. We don't get this oppertunity now, everything will be lost.
  • Happy:... (Sighs) Then how are you gonna do it, mom?
  • Zesty: Simple. I came up with the perfect way for revenge against the restuarents AND find a way to use their destruction to our fiancel benifit. All we have to do is send coupons of the many restaurants in Canterlot to the villains outside of our worlds. Then they'll do the rest. With the restaurants gone, we can use the obtained money to pay the mortgage on our mansion. That way, in laymen's terms, if we had the majority of the Lougers's most netourious of their rouges gallary to destroy ALL those restaurants all across Canterlot, then we'll be able to gain the money to save our home.
  • Happy: OTHER-WORLDLY VILLAINS?!? THE LOUGER'S MOST NETOURIOUS!? Are you sure that's not going to destroy more than you wanted out of it?
  • Zesty: Oh relax. Villain attacks are like chumming up an ocean for sharks. The Lougers and whatever hero or heroes they can get to help out will be magnited to them in a flash and stop the situation from going beyond the restaurent's destruction. Just trust me, daughter. We need to do this. Now, are you with me or not?
  • Happy:... (Sighs) I guess so. But I can't nessersarly say this will work. I mean, what's stopping the owners from just rebuilding?
  • Zesty: Oh, that's easy. I know two sorry sots who can help with that..... BUTT-KISSER, BOOT-LICKER?!
  • The cowerdly Butler and Maid barged in clumsly and crash about in trying to meet to Zesty's demands!
  • Zesty rolled her eyes as the duo keep clumsly bump into eachother and whatever got in their way, as Happy giggled abit.
  • The Butler and Maid finally made it to Zesty and saluted!
  • Butler (Butt Kisser): "At your service, Mi'lady!"
  • Maid (Boot Licker): "MISS ZESTY SIR, DUH, I MEAN MA'AM!?"
  • Zesty: "I want you two to do something for me. I want you half-wits to go around, disguised as insurence ponies and sell "Villain Insurence" to scam restaurent ponies out of their money so they can't afford to repair the buildings on their own."
  • Butt Kisser: "Oh of chourse your omnimitidence, your elegancy, your majusty!"
  • Boot Licker: "You said it, WE'LL DO IT?!"
  • Zesty: "And one more thing..... DO NOT, TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!? PERSIST TO THE POINT WHERE THEY'LL CRACK?! GOT IT!?"
  • Butt Kisser: "Of course your majusty, your elegancy, your all powerfulness, your-"
  • Zesty: "STOP BEING SUCH A BUTT KISSER AND GET GOING!?"
  • Boot Licker: "YOU GOT IT, MISS ZESTY!? WE HEAR, WE OBEY, WE'LL CONGURE IN YOUR NA-"
  • Zesty: "THAT GOES FOR YOU AS WELL, BOOT LICKER?!"
  • The kiss-up duo tumbled and thumpled apawn eachother trying to get to their deed!
  • Happy: "..... You sure having those silly-fillies get the money is a good idea?"
  • Zesty: "Well being they're the only of my maids and butlers who stayed behind, what choice do I have? Besides, Licker's the brains while Butt-Kisser has quite a way with words. They'll get it right. Besides, you have a vastly impourent mission."
  • Happy: "(Dejected) Here it comes."
  • Zesty: I want you to go deep within royal gounds disguised as the Princess of Love to get the power to bail out some specific ponies from the Black Stallion Asylum.
  • Happy:... Okay... Infiltrate... Highly-guarded royal grounds... As a princess?... Isn't it severely punishable to impersonate a princess? I mean, the ones before, it didn't exactly end nicely for them. Surely there's gotta be ANOTHER much less-riskier way to do this.
  • Zesty: Well, I'm sorry to say, given the time we have left, I'm afraid it's the best we can do.
  • Happy: But what if I get captured and then arrested? You won't have the money to bail me out. We're BARELY able to keep the mansion as it is, so the prospect of bail becomes a, concerning issue. And I'm pretty sure those who have impersonated a princess before were caught quickly due to sensing lies. And if I were to use that 'jinx' defense, they would put me under interrogation because, ever since that whole 'Dr. Eureka' incident, they won't believe that excuse without any proof. I can assure you, the royal guard may have been a little incompetent in the past, but there's no doubt they can sense something off.
  • Zesty: You're GOOD at using magic, Happy. Surely you can figure SOMETHING out.
  • Happy: I'm just saying that it's not that easy to fool royalty anymore. Not to mention that the Dr. Eureka incident proved that escalating a conspiracy can also escalate the punishment. I'm asking you to do something better than this.
  • Zesty: Happy, do you WANT to live with a less-competent family than me? Because there is NO quicker way to get the money to save our home. While I understand your worries, I have full confidence that you can pull this off. So, please, just do it for not just for me, but for yourself.
  • Happy:... (Sighs) Fine, but again, I can't confirm it will work. But... How do we make sure the REAL Cadance doesn't call me out as an imposter? Plus, someone HAS impersonated her before, so I'm TOTALLY sure they would expect an imposter by what they know and what they DON'T know. If I end up the slightest-bit clueless to anything the REAL Cadance would know, they'll know I'm a phony.
  • Zesty: "Well, I think I have the perfect shorce of infomation on any form of royalty on equestia outside of the royal family themselves..."

Alleyways of Canterlot.

  • The Con Pony from "Gift of the Maud Pie" episode, Con Artisan McScam, was seen in Canterlot allies.
  • McScam: "Oh yeah. Canterlot's the perfect hide-away from the Manehatten cops ever since Svengallop and Wind Rider really desided to be ballsy with the Christail Empire just to punish abunch of dang Mares. I can understand wanting to get even, but wow did those two push it. And alchourse, the coppers got dang good hunches that their ability to get there was my doings. Terriffic! Just, peachy keen! Oh well. It's already been 6 months since that fiasco. Soon enough, they'll stop looking for me, and I'll be back in business in Manehatten before ya know it."
  • Two thug stallions were seen with him. (They were basically these two guys. The Bigger Thug and The Dirty One are like this as followed)
  • McScam: "Of course, it never hurts to get some tough-guys to look out for ya. I couldn't thank you two more, Big Brute and Dirty Scoundrel."
  • Big Brute (The Big Thug): "(Arnald Swartsinagger Impersonation) Da, no sweet it McScam. Your the only pony trying to reverse that community nonsense that Coco pony is trying to bring back with that stupid play."
  • Dirty Scoundrel: "Yeah, not to mention the NOISE, NOISE, NOISE?! I couldn't sleep for weeks because of that?! How am I suppose to enjoy living in my filthy apartment with junk like THAT going on!?"
  • McScam: "Exactly fellas. But my reasons are more than just because of Dirty's sleeping problems and.... Whatever you want out of this, Brute. Manehatten was fine with everypony looking out for themselves and not caring for anyone. That way, guys like us could've enjoyed profiting out from the misery of those that can't survive in that city! But thanks to Suri's former bitch, that's all up in flames now! And ya want to know the REAL kicker? That stupid play's getting a broad-nays' show on it! BROAD-NAYS!? That means MORE ponies are gonna start turning into saps! Successful Ponies will start mommy-ing the weaklings, more ponies will make it to the big city of Manehatten, and what do we parasites get? JACK-SHIT?!"
  • A dirty hobo pony was seen!
  • Hobo: "HEY!? THAT'S MY NAME?!"
  • McScam: "..... I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, YA DIRTY HOBO?! Point is, if I want to still maintain a successful con artist career, as well as for you two to still being paid handsomely, we need to keep Manehatten from becoming a city of saps!? Question is.... How the HECK are we gonna pull that off?!"
  • ???: "So I'm not the only one down in the dumps then?"
  • McScam freaked out with a wimpy yelp and saw Zesty Gourmand, with Happy cautiously hiding behind Zesty.
  • McScam: "..... (Nervous laughing), Miss Zesty Gourmand, one of my scarier, private clients, wha-wha-wha-wha-what a, pleasant surprise? What brings you here in the one place that I know you're too elegant to be in?"
  • Zesty: "Don't beat around the bush, you urban street rat, I need your aide in something."
  • McScam: "S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-Sure, right, you bet-ya. So, how did ya know where to find me? I figured you thought I was still in Manehatten."
  • Zesty: "Oh please, in light of your participation with certain stallions, I figured you would come to hid in the crevasses of Canterlot to avoid the Manehatten authorities."
  • McScam: "(Nervous), There's really no outfoxing you, huh? So, what can ol' McScam do for ya?"
  • Zesty: "Well let's just say that I plan to enact some revenge on two certain mares. Miss Rarity of the rising "Rarity's Bontict" stores, and the party pony Pinkie Pie. I believed, you gotten into some issues with them as well, involving a party cannon and an emotionless rocktoligest."
  • McScam: "Hey now, whoa, take it from me, you do not wanna screw around with those two, not just because of that elements of harmony garbage, but that Maud pony's scarier then she looks! I heard she reduced a huge boulder into nothing but little pebbles! Yeesh! I wouldn't even sic Big Brute on that pony!"
  • Zesty: "Hear me out before you scurry back into your little rat hole you call your hide-away! It's not exactly, direct. In fact, it's more onto their influence than the actual ponies. You see, because that blasted fashionista and the party obsessed twit came into the aide of the Tasty Treat, restaurants of improper canterlot meals started to rise! Pastry Delights, The Smoked Oat, Pete's HayBurgers, BBQ Kingdom, Pudding World, Teddy ZoomUsra's Pizzaria, The Soytarian Butchery, Salad Empire, Griffinstone Scones, Ice Cream Valley, Carrot Dog Castle, Another Soy and Tofu Burger Branch from the Louger Icky's cousin Cashy, why, even an Equestrian Branch of Paul Bunyon's!? All-"
Phineas_and_Ferb_-_Paul_Bunyan's_Pancake_Haus_(Jingle)

Phineas and Ferb - Paul Bunyan's Pancake Haus (Jingle)

  • The lot stand there confused about what happened.
  • Happy: "..... I, think the lougers left behind one of their reoccurring jokes here."
  • Zesty: ".... As I was saying, all these restaurants have in common is that they have NO place to be considered "Proper Canterlot" Eatery! So call me as unimpressed of those two mares interfering with the way things are, as you were unhappy about Rarity and a different pony causing community spirit and compassion for one and another."
  • McScam: "Hmmmm..... Well, as long as you say it'll wipe away the smug smile out of that prissy fake canterlot ponyvillain fashion hack, then ya shanghaied me! Anything to break that sappy community spirit in Manehatten if anything cause of Rarity ended in horrible disaster! So, what do ya need?"
  • Zesty: "I know you have illegal Muggshotra Internet Access, so I need that to educate my daughter everything about Princess Candence so she can successfully pull off pretending to be here to bust out certain previous clients of yours."
  • McScam: "Whoa-ho-ho, pulling a Queen Chrysalis on me, eh? Well cause I'm on the run cause what went down in the Chistail Empire, I kinda have to charge my clients extra for wanting to pull extremes. Espeically if it's to help Ol' Gallop and Rider."
  • Zesty: "(Grabs McScam hard!) YOU, OWE ME!? MY HUSBAND CONSIDERED YOU A FRIEND DESPITE YOUR UNSAVERY LIFESYTILE! HE TRUSTED YOU ON ASKING YOUR GOON FRIENDS TO REPAIR OL' RELIABLE, HIS FAVORITE OVEN HE HAD SINCE THE START OF HIS REIGN!? BUT IT TURNS OUT, YOUR GOONS HAVE NO PLACE IN OVEN REPAIR, AND WHEN HE ATTEMPTED TO MAKE A GUMBO THAT CAN HAVE EVERY FLAVOR BASED ON WHAT IS YOUR MOST FAVORITE, THE MAGIC DIDN'T MESH WELL WITH THE IMPROPERLY BUILT OVEN AND........"
  • McScam: "(Gulps)...... Look, really, I'm still as remorseful as I can be on that. It's just, it was obvious that the magic of his Omni-Taste Gumbo was too much for Ol' Reliable in the state it was in. I did told him he should invest in a new Ol'Reliable instead, but he insisted that the oven's to be repaired instead! I did warned him not to do anything as strong as that gumbo!"
  • Zesty: "Well, CLEARLY, you didn't do enough?! Now, you owe my family some act of redemption BY HELPING MY DAUGHTER OUT, FREE OF CHARGE, YOU SORRY ALLYWAY PARASITE?! OR ELSE?!"
  • McScam: "Ok, ok! Today's speical is absolutely free service. Purely out of respect for you and the Late Tasty Gourmand. And because I both like ya, and am terrifived."
  • Zesty: ".... That's, better. (Let's McScam go.)."
  • McScam pulls out his iphone and accesses the internet.
  • McScam: "MLP Wiki and SAF Wiki, and VOLIA!? Everything you need to know about Candance un-canonly, AND canonly! At, your, hoof-tips."
  • Happy reluctantly levitates McScam's Iphone and began to study about Candence.
  • McScam: "Although Zesty, since your making me do this chariably, I at least want a favor in return. Whatever your doing now, I want it to make Rarity's influence on it to look SO BAD, it'll effect Coco's reputation and destroy community spirit in Manehatten! That way, we BOTH win from this! You get to have bland garbage again, and I can enjoy having weak and helpless suckers relie on my help. We BOTH win against that over-rated bitch! In fact, this might even ruin HER reputation over this shabang! After all, it would be impossable for her to repeat our problems if her reputation's at an all-time low, am I right Zesty?"
  • Zesty: "Oh trust me, though I won't directly meant that, I cannot deny that the ponies will be upset that the restaurents Rarity and her pink idiot friend caused ended up being attracted to villain attacks cause of coupons they "mysteriously" accquired and had been refused of service because of anti-viillain service poloices placed in by High Council polotics."
  • McScam: "WOW, your gonna play a BIG GAME scamming some of the most narilist villains outside of Equestia to do that dirty work for ya! So, what do Gallop, Rider, and assumingly Eureka have to do with all this?"
  • Zesty: "Simple, I need Svengallop's cunning, Wind Rider's legendary Speed, and Eureka for the fact that he's the one most capable to make a coupon printing press."
  • McScam: "I hear ya. Orcastraight a typical villain rampage, and I assume collect the money from each of those restaurents through, a what I can guess, a typical insurence scam, and leave the restaurents broke, AND broken beyond repair!? I like your stuff, Zest. And yet you choice to be a food critic? By the way, I heard about you being kicked out, and my greedy little heart goes out to you, and-"
  • Zesty: Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you're not the only one who wants the money from those destroyed restaurants. My mansion is under foreclosure, and if I can't get the money back within a week, I'll lose it. I'll end up in the same place HE is! (Points at Jack-S***)
  • McScam:... Oh... Well, crap. Well then, we can simply split the money 50/50.
  • Zesty: Here's the thing, though. The debt I owe to the bank is a LOT! Over 40,000 bits. And I haven't been able to be around Restaurant Row to know how much each of those revolting restaurants are worth in cash. My best guess is it's around 70,000 bits at best. So, yeah, that means you'll have to go with just 30,000 bits.
  • McScam:... I don't know... It could take a hundred more bits than that to get me back on my hooves.
  • Zesty: Look, 30 grand is all you're going to get! If you want me to help you, then you need to fulfill your end of the bargain no questions asked. Otherwise, I'm taking ALL of the bits, and you can suffer the next worse punishment for the death of my husband: a crumbling career and a life in the streets.
  • McScam:...(Shrugs) Alright, fine! 30,000 bits it is. I gotta make it up to your family SOMEHOW!
  • Zesty: Good. Now, just providing us the information we require to impersonate somepony of higher power, you might also need to do a few other things for us.
  • McScam: Well, name it.
  • Zesty: In case some minor setbacks occur as this plan is progressing, we'll need SOMEPONY to make sure nothing jeopardizes it.
  • McScam: So, you want US to take care of any stool pigeons before they start doing any damage? Fair enough. Big Brute and Dirty Scoundrel aren't afraid to get their hooves dirty. Dirty Scoundrel espeically, as you can clearly guess from the name.
  • Happy: "Why would his parents name him that? Wouldn't that just lead to this sort've life to begin with and-"
  • Zesty: "Hush now, Happy, adults are talking."
  • Happy sighed.
  • Zesty: "Just one thing do. Be weary of the Lougers. They're not the sort of folks that your stooges can easily handle. They beaten forces that make you three look like tiny little amebas. Right now, they're fighting a powerful dragon lizard and a reserected super-deer. Compaired to the likes of that, you three are just target practice. Understood?"
  • McScam: "Got ya, stay clear of those misfits. Ya know, we could try-"
  • Zesty: "Keep in mind that I don't mean to have the lougers prevented from knowing about the dishastor. I mean, let's be honest, the celestial family is bound to notice an emasse of villains attacking Equestia, and well, we need to have something to balence out the villains and keep them from targeting all of Equestia outright. What I want is you three to make sure certain ponies don't lead the misfits torwords the real shorce of that problem. For I want to make it that as long as anyone would care, the villains mysteriously gained coupons and ended up reacting poorly to not getting service."
  • McScam: "Fair enough. Though from what I heard, we most diffently want to keep Rarity out of the picture, cause she's a major Shadow Spade fan. In fact, she cosplayed as Spade once and next thing ya know, Wind Rider was exposed."
  • Zesty: "..... Good point. But play it safe. Only go after her if she suspects anything, AND ONLY, if she's alone. The minute you get spoted by witnesses, it'll be a desistating domineo effect that WILL eventually effect me, EVEN IF YOU THREE SAY NOTHING!? The Celestial Sisters will read minds while some of the major lougers are capable of strong forms of malmitulation! So basicly, use whatever shady pony skill you learned from the rough streets of Manehatten and stay hidden!"
  • McScam: "You have the word of a McScam that I'll be nowhere and everywhere at the same time."
  • Zesty: "Good. Now, Happy, it's back to the Limo-Chariot with us. It's time for our next destination. Oh, and give McScam his weird phone back. You don't know where he keeps that thing."
  • Happy: Sure thing, mother. (Does that as they head off)
  • McScam:... Well, boys, it's time to get our heads back in the game. Don't let ANYONE stand in your way or spot you. Our ENTIRE career depends on this mission.
  • Big Brute/Dirty Scoundrel: Yes, sir

Chapter 3: The Return of The Terrible Trio-In-A-Half

The Black Staillian Asylum.

  • Inside the Black Staillian Asylum, rouge ponies of all kinds are seen.
  • We eventually come across Svengallop and Wind Rider.
  • Svengallop: "(Grumbles to himself)......"
  • Wind Rider: "What're you grumbling about now, you priss?"
  • Svengallop: Well, ever since that torture we were forced to sit through 6 months ago, I have been UNABLE to get the dated girly s*** of what our concept originally was decades ago. They were disgustingly cute and DISGUSTINGLY friendly. And the worst of it was...

Cutaway

  • Svengallop: (He was in his cell watching the Sea-Ponies singing verse)...

Present

  • Svengallop: Since then, the awful brutes around here have been saying that right into my face. I was thankfully glad I was able to get that crap out of my system and get over the bullying when I found a loose pipe...

Cutaway

  • Svengallop: (After a local prisoner mocked him, he responded with a reaction similar to this...)
Nostalgia_Critic-Master_of_Disguise_Breakdown

Nostalgia Critic-Master of Disguise Breakdown

  • Svengallop: SHOOBY-DOO-SHOO-SHOOBY-DOO!! SHOOBY-DOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU?!? WE GOT SOME S*** TO DO NOW!!! (Laughs until security was able to sedate him)

Present

  • Svengallop: Glad that the bullies can no longer get to me given the fact that, through the breakdown didn't stop them, I at least got rid of every pent-up ounce of anger that just needed to be released like magma from a volcano. But...THAT S*** STILL GIVES ME THE CREEPS!!! Ponies were DISGUSTINGLY and infectiously happy and cheerful, but...(Shivers in craziness)...I can't BARE to see that pile of horses*** again.
  • Wind Rider: Don't we and entire brony community both?
  • Svengallop: "But alchourse that's one of my only issues. We haven't been able to be active since that fiasco. This asylum has done well to keep Eureka out of our grasp, AND did well to REALLY keep us on a tight leash!"
  • Wind Rider: "Eh, on the plus side, at least it gives us a chance to recover from that dramatic episode of being made to watch an older generation of our kind. Yeesh! Even Slaughterhouse's torture methods are shamed by what we went through."
  • Svengallop: "Ok, seriously, WHY did his parents named him like that as if they weren't expecting him to be brutal?"
  • Wind Rider: "..... It, was actselly a typo error. He was suppose to be called "Laughterhouse", but the writer added an S by mistake. Slaughterhouse hasn't been right ever since."
  • Svengallop: "And, they NEVER bothered fixing it?!"
  • Wind Rider: "Legally changing one's name is a surprisingly difficult proceedsure, Gallop. Once your original name gets into the system, you'll forever be known as that name. Changing it without legal permission would mean your a con pony or something. Speaking of which, McScam was surprisingly lucky to have avoided the athorities for this long."
  • Svengallop: "Well that's why we went to him, Rider. But it's obvious that he's otherwise in no position to bust us out. The only way we're getting out is if by crazy coinidence, Princess Candence desides to pull another Hank Spooner fiasco and tries to reform us and include Eureka by sheer chance!"
  • Wind Rider: "Yeah but I think that pink bimbo learned her lesson from her failed escapades from Hank. She either has to be an idiot, an imposter, or daring to ever try to tango with us!"
  • Orderly: "DOCTOR ON BOARD?!"
  • Several Orderlies were escourting a silluetted figure as all of the asylum's residents stared onword, even Svengallop in his usually unimpressed glace and Wind Rider's disinterested look.
  • The Orderlies reveiled an elegent unicorn psycolitrist aided by a dorky assistent, and gruff top orderly.
  • Top Orderly: "ALL WILL PAY ATTENTION TO DR. PSYIATRIC CARE?! SHE HAS BING NEWS?!"
  • The Unicorn, Dr. Psyiatric Care, cleared her throat.
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care: "....... I have news that is very likely to garner your attention...... Princess Candence has wishes to help one our several of you back to the path of proper ponyhood."
  • The Ayslum resident exclaimed in surprise!
  • This gotten Svengallop and Wind Rider surprised!
  • Eureka, in a farther cell, looked thrilled!
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care: "Now calm down, calm down. Don't get your hopes up. I just want to make you all aware that just because you leave the Black Staillian Asylum, doesn't mean it'll leave you. You will be rotinely monitored and checked on by assigned orderlies to make sure you don't end up being another Hank Spooner for her. I don't want her to end up feeling miserable about herself and her abilities again, and I don't want her kindness to be taken advantaged off. Now, I will not object to what she chooses, but whoever will be choosen, depending on how tainted your purity is, will either be EXTREMELY monitored, or lessly monitored. Now, I want you all be on your best behaviors, and make no rude, shrude, or crude remarks about her. She is a princess and deserves better then your lack of ability to rekindise royalty."
  • As Dr. Psyiatric Care continued, Svengallop got Wind Rider closer to him!
  • Svengallop: "Rider, do you realise what this means?!"
  • Wind Rider: "Hey don't over-react, she could just be here for Dr. Eureka, the resident good-behaviored one. Kinda figured it was gonna happen. Now our trio's down to two."
  • Svengallop: "More then that, simpleton?! It means we're given another chance to have a new shot for revenge!"
  • Wind Rider: "Hey, I already said that it's unlikely she'll pick us and-"
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care: Miss Candence will come right about now, so behaive yourselves.
  • 'Cadance': (She appeared)... Alright. I have come for three individuals. And they are... Dr. Eureka, Wind Rider, and Svengallop:
  • All 3 Ponies/Dr. Care: WHAT?!?
  • 'Cadance': That's right. I want them to join my Monastery.
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care:... Your highness, with all due respect, why them? They ALMOST destroyed your kingdom.
  • 'Cadance': Believe me, I am a little upset for them doing that. However, I don't see anything particularly nasty about them. Dr. Eureka, though guilty of theft, conspiracy, attempted murder, and so on, was only doing what he did to honor his father's legacy. And he's DEFINITELY not willing to ruin himself like that again, I'm sure. Svengallop, though his methods were unorthodox and unsympathetic, were all in proper respect for his former employer. Yes, what he did was not common courtesy, but it's STILL possible to build that for him. And Wind Rider? He's just a victim of jealousy and a former way of thinking in the Wonderbolts' past. He went into criminal activity because of a pointless pursuit on retaining a record, amongst other reasons. But he has a bit of potential to better himself. I can sense something inside of him that can make that possible. That's why I'm bringing them to the Monastery so I can rehabilitate them.
  • Svengallop:... Is she serious?
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care: Are you serious?
  • "Candence": "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said earlier that you WEREN'T gonna question me or complaint about my choices!"
  • Orderly: "Ya did kinda said that, Doc."
  • Dr. Psyiatric Care: "I, duh, well, that much is true, but, I, just figured you wouldn't be so quick to include Svengallop and Wind Rider. I mean, I did expected Eureka, but along with those other two?"
  • "Candence": "Oh how UTTERLY disrespectful! If your gonna question my methods like an unappresiative peon that you are, then I will complain this to my auntie Celestia! Let's see where the black staillian's funding will go from there!?"
  • Dr. Psyiatric: "No nonono! Let's, not get your aunt involved! If you want those three, you'll get them!"
  • "Candence": "That's better. Now chop-chop. It won't be proper to waste a princess's time!"
  • Orderly 2: "(Wispers) She's unusually demanding today."
  • Orderly 3: "(Wispers) (Scoffs), I bet Flurry Heart must've been a serious hoof-full this week."
  • 'Cadance': I HEARD THAT!
  • Orderly 3: SORRY!!!
  • 'Cadance': Now then, release the desired prisoners.
  • Dr. Eureka: (They did that as the three were legitimately surprised as they walked out of the asylum with her)... Your highness, I'm... Legitimately surprised you're cutting us some slack after what accured. Granted, I figured you would eventually come for me, but THESE TWO!?
  • 'Cadance': Oh, don't sweat it. It's what I'm good at as the Princess of Love.
  • Wind Rider:... Hmm... Something seems off about you.
  • 'Cadance': (In Everyone's minds) ("Yeah, you're right. I'm actually someone else whose willing to bring you into something big.")
  • Wind Rider:... I knew it. She's an imposter. I bet it's a filthy Changeling who wants to use us.
  • 'Cadance': ("I'M NOT A CHANGELING! I'm just a pony taking the guise of Princess Cadance to get you out of there.")
  • Dr. Eureka:... Isn't impersonating a princess... INCREDIBLY illegal? I mean, I've broken a lot of crimes in my day, but impersonating a princess is a line I'd RATHER not cross.
  • 'Cadance': ("And yet you have no problem conspiring against them?")
  • Dr. Eureka: Hey, that was for the greater good.
  • 'Cadance': ("Just come with me. I'll explain everything along the way.")
  • The group approuched Zesty's Limo-Chariot with Dutiful Chauffeur waiting.
  • Dutiful grunted.
  • "Candence": "Back to Canterlot, and step on it."
  • Dutiful Chaufeur obeyed and ran off with the passingers on board.
  • Svengallop: "Oh how I miss being in luxery."
  • Wind Rider: "..... So, how did you able to get the papers for the doc to even allow this?"
  • "Candence": "Well alittle prior, I may've borrowed some approveal forms from Canterlot castle as Candence, then after they were written successfuly, I gave them to the clerk."
  • Dr. Eureka: "..... (Face-hooves) Oh, ballicks, I knew this was too good to be true?!"
  • Wind Rider: "(Grabs Eureka) Oh yeah, Eureka, the trio is back in action!"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Why me? WHY me?"
  • Wind Rider: "Hey evenything can't always be about you, Eureka!"
  • Svengallop: "So, may we have the identity of the foux faux princess since we know your not Candence?"
  • 'Cadance': (Reveals her disguise and shows herself as Happy Gourmand)... My name is Happy Gourmand.
  • Wind Rider:... Wait... Any relation to Zesty Gourmand?
  • Happy: Her daughter.
  • Svengallop: Oh, I met her once. Heard a lot of nasty things about her having a domino effect on the cuisine district of Canterlot. I admit, I tried her tastes, and I'm a little... Iffy on whether to call them delicious or not. I'll give them props for matching Canterlot culture.... In that is as boring as the rich fools that thrive in it.
  • Dr. Eureka: Well, pardon my asking, in fear of this situation being more unfortunate, but, what would a food critic want with US?
  • Happy: Well, a few weeks ago, she was fired as the result of two of the Princess of Friendship's friends coming in and ruining her credibility. Now, our mansion is under debt, and we have a week to get the money to pay it back. We already got your little friends McScam and company involved, as they... Gave me all I needed to know how to successfully pose as Cadance.
  • Wind Rider: I'm not a mega expert at impersonation, barring my attempt to frame Rainbow Dash, but... I'm pretty sure you would've been caught even WITH that knowledge. You'd think the staff wouldn't recognize your style of writing?
  • Happy: Oh, that was a high-level magic disguise spell I used. It not only allowed me to actually USE the simulated wings, but it also gave me a lot of other natural qualities, INCLUDING her style of writing. I had it all under control.
  • Wind Rider:... Well, if you say so.
  • Svengallop: Well, at least we have past faces like McScam helping us. But... What exactly will WE get out of this?
  • Happy: Well, you'll get enough revenge on the Mane Six for what they did to all three of you.
  • Wind Rider: Seems good enough. How do we do this?
  • Happy: We already have it all planned out. We send the three other-worldly villains mainy the villain teams fake coupons to the restaurants, and when they get riled up by their unwelcoming, they'll destroy all the new restaurants in Restaurant Row, and we'll have the money to not only pay the mortgage on our mansion, but also to... Well... Have McScam share his shares with the rest of you, that is if you have interest in money AND if you can convince the guy.
  • Svengallop: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? BRINGING IN THE VILLAIN LEAGUE, THE DRAGON SCOURGE, TEAM NEFARIOUS, AND WHATEVER AVALUABLE INDIE VILLAIN TO WREAK HAVOC ON A BUNCH OF RESTAURENTS?!?
  • Wind Rider: Okay, I may not be the nicest pony ever, but even I would think twice about bringing the likes of THOSE guys in. They'd end up destroying not just the restaurants, but anything else that stands against them, and when their rivalry gets the better of them, they'll be more trouble than their worth. And worst of all, when they find out it was US who brought them there... Well... May Celestia help us all!
  • Svengallop: "Trust us in this, neither of those villain teams, epsiecally not the leage, take kindly to being scamed! That was proven when a now former Mafia Allience member was humiliated by them to the point that the rest of the allience didn't even BOTHERED trying to get him back! Whatever they would conjure up for us if we get discovered would put even the Lougers' MLP G1 torture to shame!"
  • Happy: "Wow, kinda ironic that at least two of you that were not afraid to basicly commit weather-terrorisum against an empire of chritailised earth ponies, yet you have a problem with what is assentually an albeit extreme act of insurence scam?"
  • Svengallop: "..... I see your point. But I am looking at this in a more practical standpoint, not nessersarly a moral one. What is wrong with just asking for their partake in, well, everything?"
  • Happy: "One, those that did got involved are either betrayed, humiliated, or both in the end. 2, The Scourge Imperials are mostly anti-pony cause of their emperor, Dark Dragon. 3, they all have an understandable difficulty to trust pony villains cause even the tinest shred of purity would end up biting them in the tushy. 4, having them knowing about us runs the risk of intentional betray, or being exposed via a local idiot blabing about it like one. Last though not entirely least, my mother has a terrorable reputation as it is, getting involved with either a leage of mostly disney villains getting continiously accused of darkspawn cult worship lead by a semi-compident mutant snake warlock that is trying to ruin Equestia as a paradise, a dark empire of conquest with forementioned leanings against ponies, and a highly advanced but rediciously comical underdogs. And trusting any indie villain has unpredictable results. So mother wants to indirectly lead them to attack those restaurents so only THEY would be blamed for the attacks."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well even then, there's STILL the risk of any of those scoundrels would go after the rest of Equestia afterwords, and the forementioned concerned of those feudulent villain teams butting heads with eachother! More then just the restaurents won't be able to survive that!"
  • Happy: "Well that's why mother considered the idea that they won't be able to get that far cause clearly the Lougers will respond to the attacks and get in the way of the villains like they always do."
  • Svenagllop, Wind Rider, and Dr. Eureka: "Ahhhhhhhhh."
  • Svengallop: "But then there's the matter of those misfits being turned against us once they began to look for answers! Espeically if those mares start to lead them in the right direction!"
  • Happy: "That's why mother asked McScam and his goonies to try and capture anyone who could lead them to us, Mainly Rarity and Pinkie Pie, due to, obvious reasons."
  • Wind Rider: "I get ya. So she won't go Shadow Spade on everyone. But that little fake canterlotian priss is tougher then she looks."
  • Svengallop: "And that pink idiot is almost cartoohishly Looney Tuneian! Nothing against McScam's boys, but they have no hope to capture that suger-rushing jittering clown school drop-out!"
  • Wind Rider: "And then there's Twilight. She did some detective work herself. They would have to be able to get her out of the way too, but let's be honest, SHE'S A PRINCESS! She's no Celestia, granted, but she ain't no rookie! She'll trap McScam and the boys in magic bubbles faster then you can say "Zapapple Jam Surprise"!"
  • Happy: "Going after HER is only a last resort if the Princess of Friendship DOES become an issue. She is tecnecally royalty after all, and mother is in a risky enough position as it is."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Wait, just, how does your mother even plan to collect the money, assuming it doesn't become collateral damage of a villain's rampage?"
  • Happy: "..... She plans to get the money through having our two only servents act as villain insurence agents."
  • The trio stared at her.....
  • Happy: "..... Yes I know, I questioned that too, just, roll with it."
  • Svengallop: "Well did she at least placed it under the care of compident ponies?"
  • Happy: "Well...... Butt-Kisser and Boot-Licker at least are funny and have nice personalities, but, to be honest, they're kinda the last ponies that should be involved with any illegal activity."
  • Dr. Eureka: "So basicly, they're idiots?"
  • Happy: "Well, no..... Just..... Extremely awkword."
  • Svengallop: "How bad?"
  • Happy: "Well Butt-Kisser has a way with words, but can sometimes put his hoof in his mouth and saids an unintentionally insulting word in trying to compliment something or in trying in hoof in blunt honesty, and Booty's way more cautious and the least awkword, but she has the temper of a Minotaur in mating season! She does NOT handle criticisum or Butt's poor choice of words well."
  • Wind Rider: "And those two, are entrusted, with the impourent job of gathering cash from those restaurent owners, because?...."
  • Happy: Because nopony else supports us, that's why. They're pretty much all we have left.
  • Wind Rider:... Do you have some kind of mental spell to make them... A bit smarter or something?
  • Silence....
  • Happy facehoofs!
  • Happy: "SWEET CELESTIA, I WISH MOTHER HAD THE IDEA TO HAD ME DO THAT BEFORE SHE SENT THOSE TWO OFF?!"
  • Svengallop: "...... Wow. You DO need our help."
  • Wind Rider: You SERIOUSLY didn't consider a mental-improvement spell before sending them off, KNOWING they can f*** up your plans? What, was your mother not just a food critic, but a freaking magic ethicist? Those guys suck ass in every part of Equestria.
  • Happy: You know, there WERE magic ethicists in the Critics Union that were good friends with mother before this whole mess began, so if she was here, she'd take offense to that. You KNOW they exist for a reason. Yeah, they're an annoyance, but they have a PRETTY legitimate reason why they speak out to things like reformation spells and the like.
  • Svengallop:... I guess THAT explains why she didn't consider using a mental-improvement spell. The Critics Union might've had a bit of an impact on her.
  • Happy: Well, regardless, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now. Those two are practically already in undercover contact, and it would be a bad idea to reveal them.
  • Svengallop: Uh, lady, you don't NEED to reveal them. You CAN do the spell at a distance. In fact, given the magic you've shown to be capable of, you could teleport DIRECTLY to their location, and find a good hiding spot to do the spell.
  • Happy: "Even then, mother won't approve of tampering with them like that, not just because of magic ethics, but because it would violate a sense of trust with those two! They may live up to their names, but they know when they're not being trusted with something. Even awkword silly goofs like them know when they're not being appresiated, and the minute I would even offer the prospect of that, they would be offended by the fact they can't be trusted not to make goofballs out of themselves too much and would quit like the other servents."
  • Dr. Eureka: "I'm afraid I have to vouch for the polite young miss here. I had superviser unicorns who made simular mistake with other staff members with mental issues and/or compidence problems where cause of even the most well-intentioned notions that they would be better off with magicly heightened intelligence, mentality, dexterity or at the least better self-awarence, those staff members ended up getting their feelings hurt or feel downright insulted or untrusted with the career and would quit. Why work for someone who doesn't trust you or your mental compasity?"
  • Svengallop: "Ugh. Fair enough. Guess we have no choice but to hope those idiots don't screw this up TOO badly."
  • Wind Rider: "Why do villains keep working with stupid people?"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Because smarter followers are capable to make desidions of their own and would betray their master out of moral obligations, their own disires, or heck, shyould the master's not worthy of being a master."
  • Wind Rider: ".... Good point, but how are idiots a better alternative?"
  • Svengallop: Yeah, I mean, if you wanna be a smart villain, you need to have at the least, neutral-minded followers. Not too stupid, not too smart. Not too little, not too much. Just in between. That way we wouldn't have to worry about s*** like this. If anything, it's your mother's fault for sending those two into something they could very easily screw up.
  • Happy: Hey, I SAID they were the only ones available.
  • Wind Rider: There's PLENTY more choices. You have all 3 of us, and YOU seem perfectly capable of impersonating somepony yourself. Why not do it yourself? I mean, from the looks of how your plan is gonna go down, you'll practically be doing little.
  • Happy: "That's because I have an over-powerful magic power that can't afford to be oversimulated. I have magic-asburgers, I mean, did you NOT noticed my magic horn regulater? Even with it on, I can't afford to over-exsirsize magic or else I'll end up causing a magic flux with the power compacity of a nuclear bomb going off! So if I was the one who keeps going around pretending to sell villain insurence for the restaurent owners, I might risk being a ticking time bomb!"
  • Svengallop: "...... Admitingly, that's a good arguement on why the otherwise powerful unicorn isn't the one doing more."
  • Wind Rider: "Wait, if you have magic-asburgers, how come your not, loopy?"
  • Happy: "Mild case. Apart from times when I end up saying the weirdest things..... PICKLE BARRY KOMQUETS?!"
  • The trio stared confused.....
  • Happy: ".... See what I mean?"
  • Mr. Eureka: "And yet there's still the worry of you blowing up like a bomb if your magic gets overused?"
  • Happy: "It's a 50/50 kinda mild chance."
  • Svengallop: "Ok, fine, I guess your no good, but why didn't she asked McScam and his brutes to do it?"
  • Happy: "Like you don't know. Your McScam friend's on the run ever since the Manehatten Ahtorities assumed he had something to do with why you were there to nearly destroy the christail empire. He'll be pointed out by the guards or good samaritons or the Mane 7 in minutes! Even seconds."
  • Svengallop: "...... In hindsight, maybe sacrivicing a chrstailised imperial kingdom just to punish a bunch of mares, WAS NOT one of my finer preformices."
  • Dr. Eureka: "When was it ever?"
  • Wind Rider smacks Eureka in the face!
  • Dr. Eureka: "OW!? What was that for!?"
  • Wind Rider: We didn't recall asking you to speak out!
  • Svengallop: Yeah, you know the rule about hanging out with us! You do not speak out unless told to.
  • Dr. Eureka: Hey, douche, you're the ones who made me terrorize the Crystal Empire against my will. So why should I care?
  • Wind Rider: Do you recall me telling you that I can rip your spine out of your ass EVEN at an old age? Because I can do that at ANY time.
  • Happy: Alright, all of you, shut up! Those two are all we have left, and we're just gonna have to deal with it.
  • Wind Rider: Alrighty, but if they f*** this up, we're getting out of this deal before any of those do-gooders get the chance to beat the pony-s*** out of us.
  • Svengallop: Heir-heir!
  • Dr. Eureka: Oh, sure, YOU two will! But I for one am going to turn myself back into the Asylum if they DO fail. Unlike you two, I am NOT doing what I do for revenge. Most of the time, you forced me. I'm mature enough to take responsibility for my actions, and not run away like a bunch of cowards.
  • Wind Rider: COWARDS?!? You're referring to a former Wonderbolt!
  • Dr. Eureka: Yeah, the former Wonderbolt who couldn't avoid getting caught during a framing plot, AND couldn't take the opportune moment to fly away from the Crystal Empire before you were exposed to childish mindf***s from this franchise's past.
  • Wind Rider: Okay, first of all, that framing plot was the best I could pull off.
  • Dr. Eureka: Yet you couldn't take the time to replace a scarf smudged with delicious evidence?
  • Wind Rider: THAT WAS THE LAST CLEAN-ENOUGH SCARF I HAD AVAILABLE! THE REST WERE IN THE LAUNDRY!! I WOULD'VE BEEN CAUGHT ANYWAY IF I HAD ATTEMPTED TO REPLACE IT!!
  • Dr. Eureka: Yeah, if you say so.
  • Wind Rider: And second of all, THAT EMPIRE WAS AS COLD AS BALLS AND A CRAZY STORM COULD'VE FROZEN ME IN AN INSTANT?!? YOU THINK I COULD'VE FLOWN OUT OF THAT?!?
  • Dr. Eureka: I think it might've been possible. For example, why don't you fly BENEATH the storm, and THEN fly out of the area once you were clear of the storm?
  • Wind Rider: With a freaking army of heroes outside? That was all but impossible!
  • Dr. Eureka: If you could rip a spine out of someone's buttocks, then you could've plowed through those heroes like bowling pins. Face it, Wind Breaker, all you've proven with those words is that you're just not the same Wonderbolt you once were.
  • Wind Rider: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT, THAT SPINE'S COMING OUT-
  • Happy: ENOUGH! Nopony is killing anypony in this mission. AND you're not leaving until the job is done. Unless of course Dr. Eureka here is correct and you two ARE too scared to even take another chance at getting revenge on the Mane Six.
  • Svengallop: Well, excuse US for being skeptical about whether or not this plan is going to work because the only ponies who can help get you the cash you need, ARE NOT MENTALLY COMPATIBLE FOR THE TASK!!! (Suddenly, the two were choked in a similar way to Darth Vader's Force Chokes) HUUAAKKKK!!!
  • Happy: ALRIGHT, LET'S MAKE SOMETHING VERY DAMN CLEAR TO YOU TWO DINGBATS!!! YOU'RE STAYING ON THIS MISSION UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE, AND YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, INSULT THOSE TWO JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT!! THEY HAVE BEEN UNDER MY MOTHER'S SUPPORT SINCE THEIR FAMILIES HAVE BEEN ON WELFARE AND HAD MAGIC ADDICTIONS FOR 42 YEARS!!! THEY RELY ON US, AND IT WOULD SHATTER US IF WE LOST THEIR TRUST!! AND IF YOU TWO UNDERMINE THEM LIKE THAT, THAT'S ASKING FOR THAT VERY THING TO HAPPEN!! SO YOU ARE GOING TO PUT FULL CONFIDENCE IN THEM AND HOPE THAT THEY CAN DO SOMETHING RIGHT, OR WE WILL PERSONALLY DRAG YOU STRAIGHT BACK INTO THAT ASYLUM, AND ASK THE STAFF TO SWITCH THE TORTURE FROM G1 TO G3!!! UNDERSTAAAA- (Her magic regulator sparks and she gets a little dizzy and lets them go)
  • Wind Rider: (The two, as well as Dr. Eureka, were shocked at her reaction)... Y-y-y-y-y-yeah, whatever you say! (Chuckles)
  • Svengallop: Yeah, for the sake of not seeing your head explode, we'll do this without any question! Just...just don't do it killing us in the process.
  • Happy: I... I never said that!
  • Wind Rider: Yeah, but clearly a magic-Asperger patient's head exploding WOULD surely kill us.
  • Dr. Eureka:... I... Remind me to see a therapist if and when we get back to the Asylum.
  • Happy: "...... I'm, sorry for that, ok? Those two are like family, and, I get defensive when people insult them for any reason. Just, remember not to do that again, ok?"
  • Svengallop: "For the sake of avoiding our deaths, let alone a magic caused doomsday, I'll obliged to it."
  • Wind Rider: "Ok, fine! But only because I hate death more then I hate ineditable failures."
  • Happy: "Honestly, wow you two are irritable."
  • Dr. Eureka: "That tends to happen when they were exposed to early-generation nonsense that Equestia appartently shares the same francise family tree with. It's no wonder why people were surprised that older men liked the canon show."
  • Happy: Quite. Now, we can all agree to give those two a chance. They gave us their word that they would try their hardest, and we gave them that chance with our full trust. If they could acknowledge us THAT much, they would surely succeed.
  • Wind Rider:... So... What do WE do then?
  • Happy: "Mother selected you three for certain reasons. Svengallop, your a malmitulative, stragtigetic genius and a clever oppertuniest."
  • Svengallop: "Well, that goes without saying."
  • Wind Rider: "Oh way to stroke his ego, lady."
  • Happy: "Wind Rider, your strentgh, controverseal training, and speed has made it that you didn't earned your wonderbolt legacy without a reason to back it."
  • Wind Rider: "Oh how I MISSED people complimenting me."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Now look who is the ego sucker?"
  • Wind Rider was about to punch Dr. Eureka hard, but Happy stopped her!
  • Happy: "..... And Dr. Eureka, your genius and tec building abilities enabled you to have a corperate empire."
  • Dr. Eureka: ".... Well, I did, but unfortunately, certain methods I did turned out to be socially unacceptable.... Not including unatutherised interfearence in a battle against a now has-been king of choas."
  • Svengallop: "Though, what speificly does Zesty need us for?"
  • Happy: "She'll explain when we arrive to Gourmand manor."
  • Dr. Eureka: "THE Gourmand manor? I heard that place is beautiful!"
  • Happy: "Actselly, even before my mother's troubles, it has seen better days ever since.... Father's passing."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Oh it's not like the Gourmand manor is in a nearly terrorable state of disrepair or anything."

Later...

  • Dr. Eureka: (The Manor had only a few interesting features left)... I say. It almost looks good enough for a Nightmare Night party.
  • Happy: Yeah, you can clearly see why we're under a heavy debt. Sad thing is, my father died when he was trying to perfect the Omni-Gumbo. But it didn't always looked like this. This mansion was once something to write home about. Father's famous meals always kept the mansion in shape and us away from dept, cause trust me, even in better times, mantaining ownership of this place is NOT easy, even for my dad on his finest budgets. Dad was usually the best one capable to keep the Gourmand Mansion aflout as done by past Gourmands for many generations. Sadly, because he refused to give up Ol' Relieable when it was clearly long past it's usefulness, and that it's the only oven he trusted for all his cusines, even something like the Omni-Gumbo, a meal that can taste like your most faverite thing in the world, made that way thanks to a spell that can make that happen, named the Yummy-yummy Spell. Thanks to McScam and his inadiquite-in-mechanics thugs, Ol' Relieable was not able to handle the spell's great engery and..... Well, let's just say that the kitchen was the first thing we lost when, we lost him. My mother was always a critic apart of the union, but she used to give everypony a chance thanks to my father's famous phrase: "Anypony can cook". But Mother always liked his food more then anyone else. His death was bad enough that, she never wanted the niche of his great cooking be repalced by another chef's, so, she made Restaurent Row into a line of generic sofisicated restaurent places and hides behind the justification that Canterlot deserves adiquite eatery, as her main and real reason is because it is done out of coping with her loss. She avoided ungite places like the Tasty Treat espeically cause, well, the Tasty Treat made the mistake of naming itself after father in a way, Tasty Gourmand. As well as all of the Restaurent Owners of Canterlot were fans of my father's legacy, even that nice Miss Saffron, who they all bought my father's mass-produced cookbooks in his hayday. Mother couldn't handle the prospect of father being replaced, so..... She did what she did. And she gotten away with it and barely kept the mansion from getting worse up until, appearently, a family squable counted as a friendship problem, and the Cutie Map lead Miss Rarity and Pinkie Pie to stop what my mother was doing and brought restaurents to normal, at the price of puting my mother in the path of dept, and now soon, Gourmand manor will no longer belong to us. It is, why she resorted having you guys here.
  • Svengallop:... Wow... I never wager that is why our mother's such a sourpuss.
  • Wind Rider: No wonder this mansion looks like s***.
  • Dr. Eureka:... (Sighs) Gentlemen, it pains me to admit this, but, we all need to help her. I may not be fond of this plan that much, but given what had occurred to the Gourmands, it would pain me more to let this happen to them.
  • Svengallop: "Oh indeed Doctor. I know what is like to be slap away from the lap of luxery."
  • Wind Rider: "Yeah, and I personally got taken away from my own legacy thanks to that fake canterlotion ponyvillain fastionisa Rarity. Been there, done that. I get she and that pink idiot only did what they did to save a family bond and to save a struggling restaurent, but heroes these days have a bad hapit of not understanding what happens to the losers after they win. It's exactly why villains end up angerier then they were already and get worse with each comeback!"
  • Happy: So that means you're going to help?
  • Dr. Eureka: Yes. And after THAT, we'll DEFINITELY put our full confidence in Butt-Ki- (Scoffs) and Boot-Li...(Scoffs harder)...I-I-I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face.
  • Svengallop: What the loony's TRYING to say is that we'll help, but only if it means our enemies get what they deserve.
  • Happy: Trust me, you'll get everything that's coming to you. Now let us move. (They walked into the mansion)

Inside.

  • Happy and the trio are inside.
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well, I see the inside of the manor is still in a better state then outside."
  • Svengallop: "Now, given that the manor is obvious in need of some renovations, why would any bank, let alone the bank of Canterlot, would want to take away this old thing away from you? No pony would want the place in the state of former shellisum it's in."
  • Wind Rider: "That is a good question. What would the bank have to gain collecting this old relic? No pony would want this old victorian mess."
  • Happy: Well, besides the fact that, it's what banks do, it once belonged to a rich millionaire who now works for the bank. Gourmand Manor didn't always belonged to the Gourmand Family.
  • Svengallop:... Okay... So, where's your mother?
  • ???: I would be over here. (Zesty appeared). Welcome, all of you.
  • Wind Rider: Nice to be in your presence, Mrs. Gourmand. Your daughter told us about your situation.
  • Dr. Eureka: And we'll be more than willing to help you. But don't think I appreciate your methods. I feel that this is all just a way for you to get revenge on the Mane Six, and not just because of your mortgage issues.
  • Zesty: Yes, I have heard that you aren't as upset with the Mane Six as we all are. But what if I promised that you could get your company back with the money that you could potentially earn?
  • Dr. Eureka: I'm over that, actually. Eureka Corp is better off without me. Not to mention that just trying to buy it back wouldn't work given what I did when I was still running it.
  • Zesty: "Your a staillian of honor. I appresiate that. But try to look at it in my perspective. You lost your company because you were only trying to bring an end to what was an unredeemable beast."
  • Dr. Eureka: "...... Well, yes, but, it wasn't nessersarly for solely pure reasons! It was to prevent Whooves from possability getting enough credability that even his biggest skeptics would doubt him as a thief! The fact that I stop Tyranny's rampage was at best a small business compaired to protecting my flank from eventuall uprising."
  • Zesty: "Perhaps, but think about it more. Whooves was once the same twit who couldn't even get an automatic mailbox right without blowing up in his face in a litteral fastion! Does that sound like somepony one would trust with a company of geniuses?"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Now it all fairness madam, he was otherwise a compident inventer, his inventions only failed because I placed him there under the guise of my father's misguided beliefs! Eureka Corp deserved better then being buildt on lies and deception."
  • Zesty: "..... And yet your still in Black Staillian Asylum?"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Mainly because I am being dragged down by these two! (Points to Svengallop and Wind Rider) They're basicly dragging me down from otherwise being released for good behavior and a recimendation to the Reform Monistairy. Not helping that they talked me into still doing bad things cause I'm too spineless to stand up for myself ever since I lost Eureka Corp. Back then, I used to be proud and brave, and I always took risk and always come out on top, but, ever since my first taste of defeat, well.... I suppose my veil of security shattered thanks to my downfall."
  • Zesty: "Ah..... So that's it. It's not just because of you being abit more morally cauious. It's also because your lsot your nerve. Your edge. And being the controler of a powerful tecnological company gave you that nerve! That's your problem! You, need that nerve back!"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well even if that's true, getting Eureka Corp back wouldn't bring it back. Ponies are aware of my old tricks now, I no longer have the same credability I had back in the day."
  • Zesty: "Well, then what you need, is a self-confidence boost."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well your daughter said your against magical malmitulations for self benefit when we were disgussing about concerns of your servents being unrelieable cause of their silly behavior."
  • Zesty: "True, but only if it's cause of the pony not really needing it. Butt-Kisser and Boot-Licker are driving by loyalty to not make TOO much mistakes and are capable enough to learn from ones they do make. It's different if the pony DOES need it. And Eureka, you may not want that confident self back, but you certainly DO need it back servely. Your being driven by fear of another failure now that ponies are aware that your not perfect anymore, so, we need to fix that fear and make you your old confident self again. That way, you would feel the need to regain Eureka Corp, only now you'll stick to honest practices again, cause let's be honest, the kind of thing you were doing can no longer hide in secret now everyone knows of it."
  • Dr. Eureka: "But I am not very comfertable of the price of me getting involved in a nasty scam of ruining others dreams! It was no different then what I was doing to other geniuses! I can't say with a good conjustus that I morally approved."
  • Zesty: "Oh trust me, (horn starts glowing), you'll sing a different tune when the original Dr. Eureka is restored."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Madam, please, even if I do need a confiidence boost, it's tecnecally still against my will and-"
  • Svengallop and Wind Rider held Dr. Eureka down!
  • Svengallop: "Don't take it TOO personal, Eureka, but we did had a concern that you'll eventually willingly turn on us."
  • Wind Rider: "That, and we're tired of you being a real chicken shit. Time for the Old Eureka to make a return."
  • Dr. Eureka: "NO!? PLEASE?! IF THIS CHARADE FAILS, THOSE I CARED ABOUT WILL HATE ME AGAIN FOR RELAPSING!? AND ON TOP OF THAT, YOU TWO WILL BE BLAMED FOR FURTHER CONTAMINATING MY PURITY, AND YOU MISS ZESTY FOR DOING SO!?"
  • Zesty: "I am not proud of this forceful confidence boost since, in technicality, it makes me sound like a hypocrite for saying I'm against mind-warping spells, but you have my assurence, it's only going to be a one-time thing and you'll thank me for it, and you'll never be pointed out or discovered. As far as Equestia will know, it was just another day where the Lougers' rouges gallery desided to make their presence known again where it ended up causing the shutdown of the restaurents of restaurent row, and the reputation of the Main 7 hit a slight snag and understand the pains of controversey, while we are able to rebuild our lives from the ground up."
  • Dr. Eureka: "HOW CAN YOU EVEN BE SURE!? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A WAY TO EVEN BRING THOSE SCOUNDRELS HERE?!"
  • Zesty: Oh, that's why I have YOU here. You'll be helping make the coupons so that Wind Rider can deliver them as quickly as he can while Svengallop gives them the detour there.
  • Dr. Eureka: IT WILL NEVER WORK IF PONIES END UP SHUNNING ME, INCLUDING THE STAFF AT EUREKA CORP!! IF THERE'S SOMETHING I KNOW ABOUT SPELLS LIKE THIS, IT'S THAT THEY'RE EASY TO REVERSE.
  • Zesty: Maybe, but we'll make sure they give you a second chance, not by mind-control, but by proving to them that you've changed enough for them to offer you that chance. Again, you'll thank me for this later.
  • Dr. Eureka: NO, NO, NO!!! (She casts the spell on him)...... (Starts grinning.....)..... (Smugly) Papa Eureka's back, filly! (The camera starts to pan away from Gourmand Manor as Dr. Eureka is heard laughing maniacally. As the laugh echoed away, we then pan into Butt Kisser and Boot Licker dressed as business ponies)
  • Butt Kisser: "Booty darling, are you sure this is gonna work? How do we know villain insurence even exists?"
  • Boot Licker: "Would you relax, tush-smoother!? And alchourse there's such a thing as villain insurence! You have any idea how often people suffer from money problems because of villain attacks?"
  • Butt Kisser: "Well, it various to be honest, I-"
  • Boot Licker: MORE THEN WHAT YOU COULD EVER GUESS! I mean, seriously, there's LOADS of things that cause property damage these days. Villain insurance is supposed to make sure any damage done by villains or during their fight with heroes is covered by Costacus. Surely you would've known that.
  • Butt Kisser: Yes, but I'm just saying that not all worlds have not only the same currency, but the same ways to pay for collateral damage. I mean, I know things like this exist because of worlds like those in the Anime Universe that are terrorized by... What was it, koiju?
  • Boot Licker: Kaiju.
  • Butt Kisser: Yeah, that, like Godzilla and his hundreds of giant monster buddies that can demolish an entire city with just a blast of nuclear energy. Those worlds have Costacus to thank for situations like that to deal with the collateral damage done by those guys that could cost millions, billions, or even trillions. Seriously, that s*** is so crazy, I don't even wanna think about it.
  • Boot Licker: Yes, I DEFINITELY don't. There's things out of these worlds that can cause more damage than most villains. And whenever fighting of heroes and villains are involved, you bet your ass that it means damage has to go with it. Not all fights go off without damage to important surroundings. So we're going to pose as two Equestrian villain insurance agents from StallionFarm.
  • Butt Kisser: Oh, yeah, I LOVE their commercials. LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STALLION-FARM IS THERE!
  • Boot Licker: Yeah, yeah, but just know that impersonation of anypony is illegal, so if we go to jail, then the Gourmands and their manor are history. They're putting their full trust on us, so we need to not be total morons and just have the balls to actually do something right for once.
  • Butt Kisser: But you don't even HAVE those.
  • Boot Licker: Just do your best.
  • Butt Kisser: If you say so.
  • Boot Licker: "I, KNOW so! You may be the smooth-talker, Butts, but I'M'S the brains here! I'm even smarter then the princess of friendship! (Unknowingly slams into a poll!) D'OW!?"
  • Butt Kisser chuckled at that!
  • Butt Kisser: "I would've wagered the "Brains" would've avoided that there poll and-"
  • Boot Licker: Oh, shut up! Let's just make haste. (They do that as they entered the carriage and rode off)

The Tasty Treat.

  • The Main 7 and 5 are awaiting their meals.
  • Rainbow Dash:... So... What are you guys planning to do at the Nightmare Night festival?
  • Twilight: Oh, that's easy. Celestia set up this festival to be a much more exciting alternative to the Grand Galloping Gala. This time, there'll be PLENTY of things exciting for her. And what's more exciting is that, fittingly, Princess Luna will be hosting it. She even says she's going to do something pretty exciting for us.
  • Midnight: (Chuckles) Yeah, Luna's come a long way since you helped her out on socializing during this time of year.
  • Twilight: And as the host, Luna set up a lot of good attractions. And again, Celestia agreed to give something to Fluttershy that she can easily tolerate in Nightmare Night, so this time, she won't be spending ALL day under her bed.
  • Lightning: Which is actually the LAST place I'd be on Nightmare Night. Monsters DO occassionally come out from under beds, you know. (Fluttershy was shocked at that)
  • Rainbow Dash:... Really?
  • Lightning: What, it's true. (Fluttershy was worrying heavily)
  • Applejack: GREAT! Now we have to spend ALL night trying to calm her and lift her spirits again. Way to go, genius.
  • Lightning: (Sighs) Fluts, there's no monsters that come out from beds or closets. By all means, you're safe under your bed. Besides, I think that by sitting under there, you'll block their path.
  • Pinkie:... That's actually a good point. You'd be sitting on their entry if they COULD come out from under your bed.
  • Fluttershy:... I... Okay, I... Guess that makes me feel a lot better.
  • Lightning: See? We're even.
  • Applejack: Pfft, barely.
  • Rainbow Dash: I'm looking to get myself pumped on adrenaline again. I haven't had a good-enough scare since that Futurasian Haunted House Attraction.
  • Pinkie: Just remember what I told you about-
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah, yeah, not to overplay my addiction to scares because your granny says it could turn out real. I'm not THAT much into scares. Otherwise, I'd be considerably insane.
  • Applejack: "That actselly makes me curious. If you were incapable of fear, then WHY did ya'll acted so scared then we pretended to be the undead in 28 Pranks Later?"
  • Rainbow Dash: "Well, because of two reasons. One, me being unscareable isn't considered canon to the canon show, so, I, had to take acting lessons on how to at least simulate being intimidated and scared."

Flashback.

  • Hasbro Instructor: "Repeat after me, Miss Dash....... (SCREAMS!?)"
  • Rainbow Dash: "(SCREAMS!?)"
  • Hasbro Instructor: "Very good. Now this..... DEAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!?"
  • Rainbow Dash: "(SCREAMS IN SAME FASTION!?)"
  • Hasbro Instructor: "Now this. (SCREAMS THE GOOFY SCREAM!?)"
  • Rainbow Dash: "(GOOFY SCREAMS IN FEMINATE PITCH!?)"
  • Hasbro Instructor: "Now this. (TOM STREAMS!?)"
  • Rainbow Dash: "(Higher pitch tom scream!)"
  • Hasbro Instructor: "VERY GOOD! Now, let's take a water break, wait 5 minutes, then we'll resume."

Present.

  • Rarity: "Well I wagered it came in handy, cause I haven't heard you reacted in legit fear for a long time now."
  • Rainbow Dash: "Well, it helped because of the second reason..... The only thing that CAN really get to me badly.... Is....... Ever losing you guys. (Looks Guilty) Espeically if it's because of me being stupid. I was actselly afraid of starting a zombie apocalise! AND getting eaten! But that was nothing compaired on what doing that would've done to my Wonderbolt career! I even had nightmares of Celestia sentencing me to DEATH for it?! I ACTSELLY CRIED FROM THAT NIGHTMARE, EVEN MORE THE CUPCAKES ONE!?"
  • Lightning Dust: "Was it THAT bad?"
  • Rainbow Dash: "It was death by....... Ya know that freaky scene from The Cell where this Horse was-"
  • Applejack: WHOA there Dash, take it easy with how you describe that kind of stuff, sugar-cube. Fluttershy's right here. This is also a restuarent fer pete's sake, and folks here are trying to eat! But yeah, I get what y'all were trying to say, and I can surely agree, that was quite disturbing, even if the Nostalgia Critic himself says that it's imbalanced and not thought-out in delivery.
  • Sincere:... What exactly happened to the horse, though? (Rainbow Dash whispered the answer in her ear)... WHOA!!!... YOU'RE KIDDING!!!
  • Pinkie: What, what happened? (Rainbow Dash told her)... WOWIE-ZOWIE!!! THAT'S QUITE DISTURBING!!!
  • Rainbow Dash: Yeah, but I gotta tell ya, I realized that it was all just a dream because Celestia would have to be as sadistic as her Mentally Advanced counterpart to wanna sentence a criminal to death in THAT fashion. But trust me, enjoying fear itself is not all it's cracked up to be. You can play the events of that episode in that haunted house, and you'd still be okay with it because you KNOW it's not real. But if it WAS real, then you'd know darn well that it's a serious problem, and you'd be legitimately scared stiff, and at best, you'll feel guilty and sad. I think Pinkie's granny may have had a point when she said that you can't take fear in vain. I know when fear is to be taken seriously and when it's just a joke, and... Given that zombie prank, you can't really tell if serious fear IS the joke. I deserved it to be sure, but... You gotta wonder... What if I really DID cause a zombie apocalypse?
  • Rarity: (The ponies all look at each other)... I suggest it's best we don't think about it. It would make us feel anxious, especially around Nightmare Night. Fluttershy the most.
  • Saffron: (Comes by with their food) Here you are, amigos. Fresh and original.
  • Helping Hooves: Oh, good. The appetizers were good, but I can imagine these will satisfy us completely. (They tried the food)
  • Pinkie: WHOOOOO-WEE! Saffron, your soup is better than last time.
  • Twilight: Yeah. Even Po would be jealous if he tasted this stuff.
  • Saffron: Yes, we offered a little more variety as our place grew in popularity. Especially since my novio next door offered some techniques of intensifying flavor with his boss's generous permission.
  • Fluttershy: Well, that was quite nice of him.
  • Saffron: Indeed. I just wanna thank you both for making this possible.
  • Suddenly, the door was heard slammed open followed by comical sounds!
  • Everyone looks to see the disguised Butt-Kisser and Boot-Licker stuck to eachother on the same door frame trying to get through!
  • Boot-Licker: "HEY?! ONE SIDE, TUSH SMOOTHER!?"
  • Butt-Kisser: "MA'AM PLEASE, THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY RESTAURENT?!"
  • The duo were seen stucked.
  • Kindheart: "....... Uh, Miss Rarity, I don't seem to reckindise those two, do you?"
  • Rarity: "Never, not even once in all my trips to Canterlot. What about you Pinkie darling, you basicly seem to know everypony, any idea who those awkword sorts are?"
  • Pinkie: "..... Actselly no. First time I seen them. (DRAMATIC GASPS!?) THAT MEANS THEY MUST BE NEW HERE?!"
  • Coriander: "Well, is somepony gonna get those two clowns out of my door frame? They'll block potaintional custamers on that position."
  • Saffron: "I got this." (She helped them out of the door frame)
  • Butt-Licker: Oh, thank you.
  • Saffron: No problem. So, what brings you two here?
  • Boot-Licker: Oh, we're here on official business. Restaurant Row has been getting a bit more original with their cuisine lately, so we figured that it would be a total shame for these places of EXCELLENT smells and tastes to be wasted by a villain attack.
  • Butt-Kisser: A TOTAL shame indeed. Espeically when the news recently stated about a psyco deer being revived by a small but dangerious dragon wizard. So, we have come to assist in offering villain insurance to make sure you can pay to recover your very business.
  • Saffron:... Seems like a very fair offer.
  • Coriander: I would HATE to have our business torn down by some reckless power-hungry demon-worshippers, or a comquest empire, epsiecally if it was by that underdog villain team, or whatever crazy villian of the week the lougers had to put up with.
  • Boot-Licker: We are villain insurance agents from StallionFarm, the best insurance agency in Equestria. I am Donoretta.
  • Butt-Kisser: And I am Money-Maker. We'll make sure that your rates won't go up just because of a villain attack.
  • Pinkie: That's actually very nice of them to offer this place some villain insurance.
  • Rarity: Well, they sure as heck need it. We've done too much for this place to let it go to waste because of some stupid villain eavesdropping out of nowhere.
  • Twilight:... Uh, Saffron? Can I speak to you for a moment? (The two went to the back)... Saffron, if villain insurance has long existed here, didn't you get it before?
  • Saffron: Well, sadly, we have a bad phone connection in this part of Canterlot ever since we gotten a free electristy inspection by a pony named "Mc-Cram", so, no, we didn't.
  • Twilight:... Odd... A phone connection going offline right during a "free inspection"? Don't you seem to find that a TINY bit suspicious?
  • Saffron: Well, to be honest, I thought it was just a normal occurrence. I mean, I have heard from others in Canterlot that they have had the same problem with communications across the area. Hold on, wait a second, where exactly is this going, Princess Twilight?
  • Twilight: Well, what makes me a little suspicious is that not only is it odd that you haven't gotten villain insurance before and after these 'Free Inspections" happened, AND for the fact that your phone connections haven't been going smoothly since they came. It's almost like... Somepony cut the connection just to make sure you DIDN'T get villain insurance.
  • Saffron: Are you suggesting that these two are imposters?
  • Twilight: Maybe, maybe not. But just to be on the safe side, we need to make sure that they aren't. No offense, but we've been having conversations about Zesty since you told us she was fired. Perhaps she may be planning something as payback.
  • Saffron: (Laughs) Okay, she may've been a mean-spirited critic, but I can assure you, she would NEVER stoop to that level.
  • Twilight: "Ponies getting their purity tainted after going through even so much as a minor inconvince like simply getting fired can drive ponies to do.... Unpleasent things."
  • Saffron: "..... I do see your point, but, maybe Zesty is better then that. Why, I would figure that these two don't even know about Zesty other then by reputation. I respect your looking out for the Tasty Treat, but as a princess of friendship, you do need to be more trusting then that."
  • Twilight: ".... I know, but, let's make sure these two these two are legit first. I mean, I never new StallianFarm sends ponies to send out insurence anymore with the presence of modern tec offering greater results."
  • Saffron: "It could be because they were concerned about recent events and desided to directly confront the restaurents."
  • Twilight: "Well let's see if they are just being good samaritons, just to be safe."
  • Saffron: "Fair enough. But again, don't act like you don't trust them. It would really hurt them if they knew that a princess doesn't trust them. Don't you ever know how painful that can be?"
  • Twilight: Oh, trust me, I know how PAINFUL such a thing feels if something suspicious turned out to be legitimate. However, it almost worked because the princess I was failing to trust actually WAS an imposter. It was just a changeling.
  • Saffron: Oh, you mean THOSE things? I have long heard that one of those has been accepted into pony society, but I'm still holding my breath on others.
  • Twilight: But ever since I was almost hurt by something I thought was genuinely innocent, I've ALWAYS feared what would happen if that really WAS innocent. This time, I'm not going to stupidly accuse somepony of something WITHOUT evidence again. That's just asking for trouble. Before we do that, we need proof. So we need to interrogate them and get to know them. Trust me, even though I'm a princess, I still have flaws as I've only been one for 3 years. Even I learned that even princesses can have behaviors we're commonly not expected to have such as bad eating habits or feelings of jealousy. But even a princess, with all those flaws, still has the intelligence to know that when something seems off, you can't just burst in with unprovable accusations.
  • Saffron:... Very well, then. I just hope you know what you're doing.
  • Twilight: So do I. (They go out)
  • Butt-Kisser: Oh, you're back. What were you talking about?
  • Twilight:... May I ask, how long have you two been working for StallionFarm?
  • Boot-Licker: We're new in the business, actually. Been working with them for at least a month. Even so, we've gained PLENTY of experience in community college to get the job done without a sweat.
  • Twilight:... Are you familiar with the bad phone connections this place has had since a 'free inspection' from somepony named 'McCram'?
  • Butt-Kisser: Actually, yes, we have. Apparently, that inspection accident ended up causing phone connections for not just this place, but many others. That's why our bosses have sent us here personally so you won't have to call.
  • Pinkie: Huh? I never thought there were bad phone connections here. I mean, that would be pretty bad for the restaurants here that deliver.
  • Rainbow Dash:... I'm starting to get suspicious. Saffron, how long has this bad connection been a problem?
  • Saffron: Just this Sunday, of course.
  • Rainbow Dash:... (Whispering to the girls) I don't know about you girls, but I think a sneaky former food critic is at our midst.
  • Kindheart: (Whispering) And how would you know Zesty is behind this?
  • Rainbow Dash: (Whispering) I don't. But she seems to be the #1 culprit in my book. Maybe Twilight's getting suspicious, too. I think we might wanna play along.
  • Rarity: (Whispering) We cannot just accuse these two for being spies of some nasty former food critic!
  • Rainbow Dash: (Whispering) And after Chrysalis' attack on Canterlot, I'd agree. But we can't exactly trust these too random ponies not even Pinkie Pie knows about until we have the proper evidence. Just play along, and we might get somewhere.
  • Rarity: (Whispering) Alright, suit yourself.
  • Rainbow Dash goes back to the duo.
  • Rainbow Dash: "Ahem...... Are you two, or have you two ever been aware of Zesty Gourmand?"
  • Butt-Kisser: "Oh of chourse we know of her. (Rainbow Dash was about to do a "Ah-Ha" moment) But only by reputation. (Rainbow Dash recoiled in defeat.) We otherwise do not know Miss Gourmand personaly. Though we have came to understand that she is fiancilly suffering lately."
  • Rainbow Dash: "...... I got nothing."
  • Rarity: "(Sarcasticly) Oh masterful detective work, Miss Dash. (Seriously) Now allow the proper exberts to work here. (To the duo) Have you ever reckindise this "McCram" before?"
  • Boot Licker: "Admitingly no. Perhaps he's a relitively new electrison. Amaturs have been known to make mistakes from time to time, so obviously, this is no different."
  • Rarity: "Well, other then because of current events, why have you started going to give insurence speficly to the restaurents of restaurent row and not of other places of impourence?"
  • Butt-Kisser: "By all means, we already had covered the other places in Canterlot. We're just saving the Restaurents best for last. I mean, one would never know when trouble desides to rear an unpleasent head. It when comes to daily villain problems, you can't afford to be too content with the calm before the storm. Preperations must be made you know, one can't afford reckless abandon."
  • Coriander: "And I'm for one don't have the luxery to just hope for the best. Ladies, you can stop being suspitious now, cause I think these two ARE legit villain insurence ponies, and now it's time for us to talk business."
  • Boot-Licker: "Oh of chourse, Coriander Cumin, my friend of the Elephantlands, let's proceed to your office and we can have you sign a few papers and signitures and then you'll be all set."
  • Coriander and the duo left for the office.
  • Applejack: "..... I think it might be possable that we were too cautious and accused totally unrelated ponies for nothing. It kinda looks as if the Zesty talk placed us all in alittle bit on edge here."
  • Starlight: "I, think that's possable. Those two acted calm when asked about Zesty. If they did knew about Zesty other then reputation, they should've paniced or at least showed signs of sweat and nerviousness. They're clearly too professional to be swindlers or something worse."
  • Rainbow Dash: I don't know. I still say it's suspicious. They could be good at hiding it. It IS better to be safe than sorry, after all. But let's not worry about it for the moment and come back to it later. I wouldn't want us to look bad in front of all these good ponies.
  • Helping Hooves: Well said, Rainbow. I'm too hungry to worry about a possible revenge plot after all.
  • Fluttershy: What worried me is that they said something about Zesty having financial problems. You don't think she could be losing her home, do you?
  • Kindheart: I work for the First National Bank of Equestria here in Canterlot. Maybe I can figure things out and give you girls some clues if that's at all possible.
  • Fluttershy: That would be appreciated.
  • Kindheart: But that will have to be after we've finished our lunch. Like RD said, we can't do this in front of a lot of ponies and look bad.
  • Rainbow Dash: "Fair enough, but let's still keep on our non-existent toes here. We still have to be cautious of Money Maker and Do, Doa, Doarelly, Do, Do-de-do, Doe-Si-Doe, Ugh..... What was that insurence mare's name again?"
  • Rarity: Donoretta. She's clearly a donor of money.
  • Rainbow Dash: Huh? It's kinda hard to distinguish that part of her name.
  • Kindheart: Indeed.

Coriander's office.

  • Boot-Licker: Alrighty then, Coriander. I'll have you sign a few things in order to guarantee that you'll agree to our terms of service in case villains should have the idea to destroy your business.
  • Coriander: I'm terribly sorry for the suspicion the girls displayed back there. Current events are kinda unpleasent recently.
  • Butt-Kisser: Oh, it's quite alright. It was just something unexpected. I'm sure they'd never go that far with thinking we're some kind of spies.
  • Boot-Licker: I know. Crazy, right?
  • Saffron: (The two looked at them through the doorway)... Princess, are you sure they're not who they say they are?
  • Twilight: The Alibis' seem quite legitimate, but again, it's not enough to just assumed that they came in at a bad time. We need to be sure.
  • Saffron: Well, if they WERE spies, then what would they POSSIBLY hope to gain by giving us villain insurance? If they WERE spies, THEY themselves would be villains. They're basicly being like a predator animal giving it's prey a 90 minute headstart and the fastest vicitcle it has.
  • Twilight:... I think I recall them saying that Zesty was under financial problems.
  • Saffron: (Sighs) I don't really think that's a good enough reason to send these two here. By giving us villain insurance, none of the money is going to be given to her, only for us to pay for fixing the place.
  • Twilight: First of all, there's the matter that you have to PAY for the insurence first before you can just have it. And even then, if Zesty IS in financial ruin, then what's to say she could steal that money?
  • Saffron: WHOA! Okay, I know Zesty was a little... Unagreeable, but I can assure you, she's NOT a thief.
  • Twilight: Think about it. She was fired after Pinkie and Rarity helped you out. And without a job, it's likely she could be running out of money. I don't know WHAT she's doing out of this, but I think this might be not just to fix whatever she needs that money for, but also to possibly get revenge on Pinkie and Rarity.
  • Saffron:... That's... Kinda low, isn't it, your highness?
  • Twilight: Look, I don't know if it's true or not. But I'm just saying that it MIGHT be likely. I'm not going to jump ahead and say it's true before it's time, but something's gotta be solved after what we just discovered since those two came in. So as soon as we leave, we'll investigate this further.
  • Saffron: Well, if that's how you feel about this situation, then I will not judge you. But I have full faith in the alicorns that these are honest insurence ponies.
  • Coriander finished the paperwork with a small sweat.
  • Coriander: "Oy! Whoa..... Who know writing on paper is stressful?"
  • Butt Kisser: "It's all well and good. Now, there's the matter of the enterence fee, alchourse, as all insurence companies have one."
  • Coriander: "Oh, sure.... What's the price?"
  • Butt Kisser: "Basicly the same amount it would take to say, hyperphaticly, repair the entire restaurent."
  • Coriander dropped his jaw!
  • Coriander: "YOUR BASICLY ASKING FOR THE TASTY TREAT'S ENTIRE BUDGET?!"
  • Boot Licker: "To be fair, Mr. Coriander, we ARE a business first and foremost. Our business just involves helping ponies. But Insurences have philosifies different from a charity. Sometimes, your expected to scratch our backs as we would scratch yours, good sir."
  • Butt Kisser: "But worry not, with the Tasty Treat basicly being popular, you'll repalce those funds in no time. And even then, when a dishastor strikes, we'll give you TWICE the amount of funds you paid in your enterence fee.... Depending on damage levels alchourse."
  • Coriander dropped his jaw harder, but happier as dollar signs are seen in his eyes!
  • Coriander: "AN EVEN BIGGER FORTUNE IN RETURN FOR THE CURRENT ONE!?"
  • Butt Kisser: "Depends on damage control, alchourse."
  • Coriander: "Oh-ho! At least the majority of that money spared from being spent on repairs and taxes would be used to put me and my daughter on luxery! YOU GOT A DEAL, YOU TWO!?"
  • Coriander excitedly shakes both hooves of the eeriely smiling duo.
  • Butt Kisser: "A pleasure doing business with you, Coriander."
  • Boot Licker: "Great things are indeed coming."

Later...

  • Kindheart: (As the ponies left)... So, how did the contracts work out?
  • Twilight: Well, apparently, Coriander had to pay the same amount the Tasty Treat was worth as the entrance fee.
  • Rarity: WHOA! That's pretty costly for StallionFarm's standards!
  • Twilight: But they said that the profits combined with the funds will come to them if villains occur, will be twice the amount of the enterence fee. That surely proves that something is INDEED up.
  • Kindheart: Yeah. We decide to have a nice lunch, then when those two show up, suddenly, we discover things haven't been up. Maybe Zesty is planning a way to tear down this and all the other original restaurants in this place JUST to pay back a financial issue. So I guess our first step is to go to the First National Bank of Equestria to get some answers. I work there, so you won't have to worry about much.
  • Applejack: Definitely not.
  • They were secretly watched by McScam and his two thugs.
  • McScam: "..... Boys, let's see if Canterlot has it's own thug population to help us out here...."

The Rough Side of Canterlot.

  • A gang of rowdy gangsters are seen popping a wheely on a overtly sytileised win 80's paint-job as "Where the Hood At" was playing!
  • Gangster Pony 1: "BACKSIDE CANTERLOT RULES, BITCHES?!"
  • Gangster Pony 2: "Yah man!"
  • Gangster Pony 3: "(Chugs down an entire bottle of booze!)"
  • Gangster Pony 4: "BACKSIDE CHANT?!"
  • The Gangster Ponies started to bark like seals!
  • McScam and his duo walked up.
  • McScam: "The Hooligan Gang, I presume?"
  • The Gangsters looked at McScam and company.
  • Gangster  Pony 5: "McScam?"
  • Gangster Pony leader: "Well well well. Look who desided to leave his little shithole from Manehatten. You got some balls coming back here after what you did to our friends in the Ruffian Gang!"
  • McScam: "Now now, Rowdy Hooligan. Hear me out before you extend the Hooligan welcome. You see, I gotten involved in what will be reckindised as the greatest scam of the centaury in Equestia. And let's just say, it involves restaurents going under while a former critic gets profits from it. Problem is, some of her friends were witnessed by the Main 7 and 5, and are on their way too ask the bank about this critic's current finacel problems. I want you guys to make it that the bank ends up being, too pre-occupied to even answer a simple question."
  • Rowdy: "..... What's in it for us, Scam?"
  • McScam: "..... The money you guys would rob from the bank."
  • Rowdy: "..... Alright, we're in, Scam. But we're gonna need more boys up in here. I'm gonna invite some tough gangs for this."
  • McScam: "A pleasure doing business with you, Rowdy."

The Bank.

  • The Bank was seen going about as normal as it can be, but suddenly, the Holligans, followed by their friends the Ruffians, and two other gangs, barged into the bank!
  • Rowdy: "ALL RIGHT YOU FRONTSIDE DOUGHEBAGS, THIS IS A ROBBERY!? THE HOOLIGANS, THE RUFFIANS, THE TRASH-MOUTHS, AND THE BAD HORSES, HAVE ENTERED THE BUILDING!? GET DOWN, YA SUCKERS!?"
  • The Bank goers paniced and got to the floor!
  • The Gangs got to the bank tellers!
  • Rowdy: "ALL RIGHT, BITCH!? START FILLING OUR SACKS WITH THAT GOLDEN COIN GOODNESS NOW, OR YOU'LL GET BACKSIDED UP YER ASS!? DO IT?! AND IF YOU PRESSED A SILENT ALARM, YOUR SCREWED?! GOT IT?!"
  • Hooligan Member #1: (Whispering) Uh, sir, how's THIS gonna hold the bank off? I mean, if the Mane 12 come in, they'll just lend a helping hoof and beat our asses.
  • Rowdy: "(Smacks the questioning Hooligan) I WAS GETTING TO THAT, MORON!? (Back to the bank teller) AND WHILE YOUR AT IT, TELL THE MANAGEMENT TO NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL RECORDS TO ANYONE, OR ELSE WE WILL KNOW ABOUT IT, AND WE'LL ROB YOU AGAIN?! IS THAT CLEAR?!"
  • Bank Teller: Why-
  • Rowdy: (Fires his hoof-held gun) F*** YOU, THAT'S WHY!!! NOW, ARE YOU GONNA FLAP YOUR LIPS, OR ARE YOU GONNA DO WHAT WE SAY?!?
  • Bank Teller: Okay, okay, it's just that the manager has declared that stuff like that is to only be taken up with him. And he's got a bit of an iron will. He won't take orders from any criminals.
  • Rowdy: Oh, we'll see about that. Boys, if you will? (Some of the pony gang members searched the bank)
  • Bank Teller: AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, HE'S TENDS TO REACT SOURLY TO THOSE THAT MAKE THREATS, ESPEICALLY IF HE FEELS THAT YOU WON'T LIVE UP TO THEM!?
  • Rowdy: Oh, pbbbt, horses***. What's he gonna do, buck us all the way to Whinny Land?
  • ???: I'LL BUCK YOU SONS OF MULES ALL THE WAY TO WHINNY LAND!!!
  • Gang Member #1: AAAHHH!!! NO!! I HATE THE GUYS IN THE ELMER EAGLE AND WILHELM WOMBAT COSTUMES!!! THEY WERE SO FAKE IT WAS SCARY!!!- (They were bucked away as they screamed. Then a large Clydesdale horse similar to Trouble Shoes, only much bigger and having bits as a cutie mark, appeared angry and huffing)
  • Bank Teller: OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!!
  • Bank Manager: (Approaches the gang members as his walks cause tremors)... WHICH ONE OF YOU JACKASSES IS THE HEAD OF THIS RAID?!? (They all pointed at Rowdy)
  • Rowdy:... Oh, thanks a- (He was grabbed) AHHK!!!
  • Gang Member #2: You're welcome, Rowdy!!
  • Bank Manager: WELL, WELL, ROWDY 'ROUGHHOUSER' HOOLIGAN! LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE ONE OF THE STUDENTS IN MY SCHOOL, BECAUSE I WILL TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS, AND THAT THERE IS ONE RULE WE BANKERS DO NOT BREAK! (Spits in his face)
  • Rowdy:... 'Thou shall say it, not spray it'?
  • Bank Manager: NO! WE DO NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BANK ROBBERS IN THE BIGGEST AND RICHEST BANK IN EQUESTRIA! ESPECIALLY SINCE THE MANAGERS BEFORE ME, THE IRON-WILLED MIKE ROE MANAGER, WERE SO INCOMPETENT AT DEALING WITH NEIR-DO-WELLS LIKE YOU! Now, since I came, that was all changed. I made it clear that the money here is precious. Do you know what happens when ponies think they can take that money, Rowdy? Ponies get hurt! Ponies like YOU get hurt.... Do I make myself... (Strangles Rowdy) CLEAR?!?
  • Rowdy: (Talks gibberish in a squeaky voice)
  • Bank Manager (Mike Roe Manager): (He suddenly gets knocked out by another Clydesdale stallion with a baseball bat)... (He falls unconscious)
  • Rowdy: (Gasps for air)... Thanks for that, Pile Driver.
  • Clydesdale Stallion (Pile Driver): Don't mention it, sir.
  • Rowdy: Well, boys, if this great mountain is the only bastard who can give this bank orders, then there's only one thing we can do! Keep him hostage until the job is done.
  • Gang Member #3: But sir, he must weigh a ton! How will we carry him?
  • Rowdy: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, GIVE ME RESULTS!!! WE HAVE MAGIC!! ALL OF THE UNICORNS WHO CAN MAGICALLY LIFT, DO IT! (They lifted Mike's body off as they left) (To the Bank Teller) Oh, by the way..... YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, BITCH!? NOW, BACK TO THAT MONEY!?
  • The Bank Teller and others paniced and began placing in money!

Later.

  • By the time the Gangsters left, the vault was completely empty as bank staff and tellers alike look in shock and sadness.
  • Bank Teller 1: "..... Well, there goes a big chunk of Canterlot's ecomamy."
  • Bank Teller 2: "And every impourent noblemen's and noblewomen's money, and that of anyone that trusted us with that cash.... We're ruined."

By the time the Main 7 and 5 arrived.

  • The Door was seen closed with a sign that reads "Closed due to Bank Robbery".
  • Rainbow Dash: "A BANK ROBBERY!? THERE WAS NEVER ONE SINCE MIKE ROE TOOK OVER THE PLACE!? I THOUGHT THAT HORSE WAS A TOTAL UNSTOPPABLE BADASS?!"
  • Spike: "Whoever did this must've been some seriously strong guys."
  • Starlight: "I think it might be safe to assume that we're out of luck asking for the bank's advice for this."
  • Twilight: "There has to at least be SOMEONE to talk to!"
  • ???: "Well with Mike gone, it's just me."
  • A smaller Bank Pony about the size of Big Daddy McColt came in.
  • Smaller Bank Pony: "Vice Manager Small Change at your service. I'm, afraid the best I can reveil is that, we were robbed by mysteriously enbolden gangs from the ever troubled Canterlot Backside District."
  • Rarity: "THE CANTERLOT BACKSIDE DISTRICT!? THAT CRIME-RIDDEN STAIN THAT FOREVER TAINTS THE GRACE OF CANTERLOT WORSE THEN THE POORER SIDE OF IT?! I, I, I, USUALLY THOSE SCOUNDRELS ARE JUST PETTY GRAFFITI ARTISTS AND THUGISH BRUTES AT BEST AND AT WORSE?! I, I NEVER KNOWN THEM TO COMMIT HIGH STAKES CRIMES LIKE BANK ROBBERY?!"
  • Lightning Dust: "Espeically if it's Canterlot! That money is basicly a big chunk of Canterlot's ecomamy, and one of the impourent margins in Equestia's ecomamy! Why would those Backside guys ever do something like this?!"
  • Small Change: "Well, I reckon it could be because these particular gangs who threaten us to have them remain anomamous, have finally gotten tired of Celestia's failure to meet up with her vows to fix what's wrong with Backside and fixed it's troubled goverment."
  • Starlight: "Wait, I thought Celestia pretty much controls everything in Canterlot."
  • Small Change: "She does, but she hired mayors and/or governors or ministers to handle the other stuff given that Celestia has to care for Equestia as a whole, to take of the stress of having to care for Canterlot as well. Trouble is.... Sometimes these smaller power holders aren't always right for the districts. The Poorer Side and the Backside as proven exsamples. Granted, the Poorer Side is seeing better days now, but.... The Backside still has it worse. Even the bravest of the royal guard are afraid to venture into that crime ridden chesspool of gangs, thugs, con artists, prosituits, pimps, and the occational crazed hobo on a bad high. Bottomline ladies, I advise against going against there unless you have a death wish, or an army. The weirdist thing is, they asked us to not disclose banking records to anybody, which, I'm a might sorry to say your highness, includes you."
  • Rainbow Dash: "And Mike Roe's allowing that shit?!"
  • Small Change: "That's.... The thing...... He's been knocked-out and kidnapped. Cause of that, we're afraid of what they would do to us if we defy them. For safety reasons, we have to close the bank and keep all banking records classifived. Even that of Canterlot's big names. Believe me, we don't know why those gangs made that spefific requests, but, if even Mike Roe's not safe from them, I rather not risk anything. I'm sorry about this inconvience, I'm truely am."
  • Applejack: "So, does that even include Zesty Gourmand?"
  • Small Change: "Afraid so. Why exactly did you asked about that anyway?"
  • Twilight: Well, apparently, we noticed something big was being planned in Restaurant Row, and we have reason to suspect that Zesty is responsible.
  • Kindheart: And since I work here, I figured this would be a good place to get answers.
  • Rainbow Dash:... OH, FIND ME IN THE ALPS!!! ZESTY MUST'VE GOT TO THIS PLACE FIRST!
  • Rarity: But, but, but this is the BACKSIDE DISTRICT we're talking about! Zesty would have to be CRAZY to hire them.
  • Twilight: Well, I guess it's now obvious that she's apparently got accomplices not only watching us, but recruiting the worst of the worst to aim in her possible evil scheme. And now, thanks to that, the Bank has been ratted out.
  • Applejack: So now what?
  • Kindheart:... Miss Rarity, do you happen to know where Zesty lives?
  • Rarity: "She lives in the Gourmand Manor. As for the particular location, well, it's not exactly in Canterlot. It's isolated in a cliff a good long mile from here."
  • Rainbow Dash: "Wait, it's not even apart of Canterlot?"
  • Rarity: "Well, it was because that manor was once part of a now defunt victorian community that was assentually the Beta for the Canterlot we adore now. That old building's the last of it's kind as alot of the other buildings were either recycled or were consumed by Wood-Chopper Ants. (Shudders). They're worse then even Twitter-Mites, Parasprites, and even Mana Sucker Wasps combined! I mean granted, the ants aren't hostile to ponies, but my word they are the worse at property damage!"
  • Small Change: "Tell me about it! Those things are a paper work nightmare!"
  • Starlight: "Well then let's go there and-"
  • Midnight: "I have to stop you there, Miss Starlight. First off, it would be crude to just walts in on her during her hours of need and rudely question and accuse her of something possability not even related to her. Secondly, we don't even know the direct location of this surviving building of the defunt victorian community, so we can't go there either way, even with magic. And finally, at best, the enbolden actions of these Backside Gangs seems more like the result of politic failures then something a critic is respondsable for, and even then, we lack the evidence to suggest otherwise."
  • Rainbow Dash: "..... Sir, you SURE you can't disclose Zesty's records?"
  • Small Change: "I'm sadly postitive that under threat of being assulted by gangs. Those kind of gangs in Backside mean business when they make those kind of threats."
  • Twilight: "We understand."
  • The Mane 7 and 5 leave.
  • Helping Hooves: "Well, I reckind that was a bust."
  • Lightning Dust: "Oh relax. It's not like it's the only bank in Canterlot or anything."
  • Rarity: "It isn't, but, once a bold robbery like that happens, ESPEICALLY if it's by any gang or gangs from the Backside District, alot of other banks will be intimidated enough that, even with the best security or Mike-Roe inspired managers, they will follow the same as this bank. So, basicly, as a more crude pony would say, we're bucked!"
  • Applejack: "Well why don't we just ask Zesty herself and, as politely as possable, see if she is up to anything and knows anything about the Bank Robbery and our StateStallian friends?"
  • Pinkie: "Ok, but, I'm not sure if she'll be happy to see me and Rarity."
  • Midnight: "And again, we know little of the defunt victorian place. It likely doesn't exist in any current map."
  • Sincere: "Well, it's not like we can go to the Canterlot Museum and look at an older map that acknowledged the old victorian place."
  • Starlight:... Sincere, that's actually a brilliant idea!
  • Sincere: I'm so glad you liked it... Whatever it was.
  • Twilight: Let's head out to the Canterlot Museum. We need to figure out if what we feared is true before it begins. (They teleported away as McScam saw them and head out)

Chapter 4: Fake Coupons Given To Villains

Gourmand Manor

  • Zesty:... WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T JUST HIDE MY MANOR?!?
  • McScam: Well, Zest, honey, if I can recall, you can't just do that when it's under foreclosure, EVEN if we sabotaged the First National Bank. Not only did that bank have unicorns that make sure foreclosed property are not stolen with even magical means through an invisible shield, but with the bank closed, Celestia might be the one to take responsibility, and I'm pretty sure you said to keep them out of this. Plus, even if that shield WASN'T there, if the Mane 12 arrive there, and discover that it's ACTUALLY hidden, and they will considering what I heard the Princess of Friendship can do INCLUDING playing a location's history through a simulation spell, which Lightning herself claimed she used to help her learn the Wonderbolt's history, then they'll know that you're the culprit. Don't get me wrong, I can STILL hold them off, but not by sabotaging the museum. The security there is damn good, and better than anything Mike Roe Manager can do.
  • Zesty:...... THEN DESTROY THE MUSEUM?!
  • McScam: "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!? Your asking me to destroy Canterlotian history!?"
  • Zesty: "By all accounts, it doesn't have to be anything extreme. Just set the place on fire."
  • McScam: "Ok, then I'm glad it's not gonna be too rough. I can do, "Fire Accsidents". But, what about the simulation spell?"
  • Zesty: "My daughter well tend to that. Now go do your job!"

Later.

  • The Mane 12 arrived, but are shocked to see that the Museum is burning down!
  • Starlight: "..... ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"
  • Rainbow Dash: WHAT IS SHE, INSANE?!? THESE ARE SERIOUS CRIMES!!!
  • Twilight:... You know something? All that happened to both the bank AND here is clear proof. We try to go to a single place to get info on Zesty, and every time, we're too late. Every single time, it withholds information about Zesty from us. It's abundantly clear: Zesty IS responsible for this.
  • Rarity: That's preposterous! Robbery of the richest bank in Equestria? AN ACT OF ARSON ON THE EQUESTRIAN MUSEUM?!? This seems a little far-fetched for a critic of refined gentlemareship.
  • Twilight: CLEARLY it's her. How else are all these things occurring?
  • Rarity: And how are you sure it isn't somepony from Restaurant Row who's trying to frame Zesty for all these horrible things? There's a LOT of ponies there whose careers have been ruined by her, you know. I wagered they would be understandingly upset that Zesty was the shorce of their dreams almost being gone and felt merely being fired from her job and being in dept isn't good enough. I'm sorry, Twi, but we can't just prolong this and expect to get anywhere.
  • Twilight: RARITY, THE EVIDENCE IS RIGHT THERE AND BURNING AS YOU SPEAK!!! FIRST THE BANK, AND NOW THE MUSEUM! EVERY TIME WE TRY TO GET INFORMATION ON HER, WE COME IN TOO LATE!!! IF ZESTY WASN'T RESPONSIBLE, WOULD THE BANK AND MUSEUM BE IN THE STATE THEY ARE NOW?!?
  • Rarity: Twilight, I respect you as a friend, but I'm saying someone else is at fault on whose the culprit of these acts. Zesty is NOT the kind of pony to do these sort of crimes, even if it's for some kind of financial problem. So I'm asking you as a friend, let's save this kind of investigation for until we have fully confirmed that she would do this.
  • Kindheart:... As much as I hate to say this, she may have a point. What if she ISN'T doing this, and it's just a vengeful hater of hers trying to make her look bad?
  • Applejack: Yeah, Twi, at this point, if we DO try to rush in on Zesty's alibis, there's bound to be MORE that will suffer in Canterlot. We've gone this far, and we STILL don't know if Zesty is doin' this. We can't just rush through this without confirmation. It's like you said, we can't barge in without any evidence. But the same thing can be said for confirmation. We really shouldn't label her as the first culprit.
  • Twilight:... (Sighs)... You may have a point. Alright. I'm a reasonable princess. We shall start at Restaurant Row, see if any of the managers are hiding something, and come back later.
  • Rarity: Well, good. Glad that you are improving from the Canterlot wedding messes.
  • The Main 12 leave as McScam and his goons were watching.
  • McScam: "Good GRIEF that was close!"
  • Big Brute: But it clearly won't keep them busy for long.
  • McScam: Yeah, but thankfully long enough for us to finish the job. But to make sure they stay that way, we need to keep spying on them.
  • Dirty Scoundrel: What about our hostages? Like that Mike guy?
  • McScam: HAH! That guy may be a kickass mover and shaker, but those gangs have proven to be pretty damn good at their jobs. The Royal Guard is too incompetent and such giant pussies to go down to their territory to do anything about it.
  • Big Brute: But didn't one of the girls say that Celestia might discover what we've been doing? I'm pretty sure she'd-
  • McScam: "Celestia will be too caught up in royal paper work to ever be a problem! Have more faith in the plan then that, B.B."
  • Dirty Scoundrel: But... Isn't she preparing for a Nightmare Night festival or something?
  • McScam: Paperwork is required to make something like that! By the time she would even get a whiff of what went down, it'll be over-shadowed by the upcoming gameplan.
  • Big Brute: And Luna?
  • McScam: She's busy, too. Trust me, things will go perfectly, and they won't be a problem.
  • Dirty Scoundrel: I hope so, boss. I won't last 10 days in prison. Scratch that. I wouldn't even stand 10 minutes! Too many gay-ified ponies, too many rancid cuisine, too many craziness. That's DEFINITELY not a place to satisfy my unfortunate case of fatigue.
  • McScam: Well, that's not gonna happen. And we're going to make sure of that. Now come on! (They head out)

Back at Gourmand Manor

  • Zesty:... So, Eureka, how are those coupons going?
  • Eureka was seen with a coupon printing press.
  • Dr. Eureka: "I think you'll find that the Eureka Printing Press is at full force here. It'll spawn loads and loads of seemingly legit restaurent coupons within seconds! My brillience has shined once again."
  • Zesty: Excellent. (On phone)... Hello?
  • (McScam): Well, we were able to get the ponies off of your tail for the moment. They decided that some nasty restaurant owner might be trying to frame you for business ruin.
  • Zesty: HAH! Gullible fools. That should give us enough time to send these coupons all over the UUniverses.
  • Happy: But... But how are we possibly going to do that, mother? We ponies may have bits of modern-day technology, but we CERTAINLY haven't developed space-travel.
  • Zesty: We do not need spaceships to accomplish this. All we need is magic. And that's where YOU come in.
  • Happy:... Me?
  • Zesty: I need you to open portals to all the target locations: The Villain League Fortress in the Dragon Realms, The Dragon Scourge HQ on Spherus Magna, the Nefarious Space Station... Wherever the hell that is considering it might be mobile, and... Well, I'll fill in the locations of the independent villains later.
  • Happy: But mother, that's like a powerful spell. And you know that, given my magic Aspergers, I can't push myself to that limit. Isn't there anypony else powerful enough for that?
  • Zesty: Unfortunately, no. You're sadly the most powerful of us. Nopony else would wanna listen to or support me.
  • Happy:... Well, how exactly are you going to make sure I don't suffer critical injuries if I'm the only one who can pull this off?
  • Zesty: "Eureka was nice enough to offer such a solution. Isn't that right, doctor?"
  • Dr. Eureka: Indeed. However, it's not exactly a gratified cure for her Asbergers. Like alcohol, it's a depressant. It's not going to make her drunk, but it will relax the part of the brains that cause the Asbergers and what parts of the magic organ they're connected to.
  • Happy:...How long will the effects last?
  • Dr. Eureka: 3 days. Just enough time to not only allow Wind Rider to speed his way across the target destinations and deliver the coupons, but it will also ease the problem of your migraines, magical fluxes, and many other distressing side-effects.
  • Happy:...I'm a little iffy on taking what sounds like a technical drug, even if it's supposed to be a depressant. I'm still 19 years old, so I'm not old enough to drink. I feel that the same can be said for something like that.
  • Zesty: It's either this or lose your home, honey.
  • Happy:...(Sighs)...Fine. Do your stuff.
  • Dr. Eureka: Alright, hold still. This will only hurt once...but DAMN, will it hurt. (He administers the depressant)
  • Happy: AAAHHHH!!! OUCH!!! WHAT THE HELL GIVES?!?
  • Dr. Eureka: Well, a depressant capable of easing magical organ distress is supposed to feel like you've been shocked or stung. The brain IS a part of the nervous system after all. And you should expect heavy migraines, but it will only be for a while until your horn feels relaxed.
  • Happy:...Okay, that's GOTTA be some kind of innue- EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOWW!!! MY HEAD!!! (Screams in pain for a few seconds until her visible head ailments disappear) AOW, MY HEAD, IT'S RUINED!! I'M GONNA BE A VEGETABLE FOREVER!!! I, I, I...I actually...feel better. (Takes off her headgear)...I feel as healthy as a horse...which I kinda am.
  • Dr. Eureka: Yes, but do remember, the ailment is still there. The depressent is designed to heal it for only 3 days until the effects wear off. But until then, you'll be able to fulfill your mother's requirements for other-worldly transportation.
  • Happy: One problem, though. Since I've had my Magic Asbergers for most of my life, I've never LEARNED the portal spell, for OBVIOUS reasons.
  • Zesty: Oh, I know that. That's why I picked out a book from Canterlot's library for such an occasion. (Levitates the book to her) Read it and weep.
  • Happy relucently takes the book and proceeds to read it.
  • Svengallop: "Oh, by the way, Zesty, I was also able to get a book of villains copy and I found the perfect indie villains for the big plan. The small indie group known as the Trifecta of Misery. There members include, The Caveman, ironicly, a futurasian obcessed with prehistoric times to the point of being assentually the doppler ganger of Captain Caveman, Viper Woman, a once brillient snake enfusiest turned into an athromortic naga-like snake beast, Hump-Jetpack, some weird jetpack obcessed camel from Zootopia, Butch Butcher, a mentally disturbed human who wears a leather mask made from a live pig's face, Steverio-Type, a loud-mouth boston punk with the strange power to make steriotypes real, Polor Captain, a rouge superior polar bear, Shela Kanga, AKA, Checkmate, a kangaroo former chess champion turned rouge cause of a very misunderstood life, Lord Marlin Sword, a rouge noblem swordfish cause of a tragity with his wife being prosicuted, Master Cluck-Fu, a crazed kung-fu chicken, I guess, Norton Hot Air, AKA, the Weatherman, formerly an unlikeable human weather turned super villain thanks to a freak accsident that gave him weather powers.... And, the disturbing deformation of looking like an umbrella, and finally, the rouge superior known as Hynopa. A very creepy female cobra. Hynopa mainly seems to be the leader."
  • Zesty: ".... They're perfect."

Leage Fortress.

  • Lord Cobra was watching the events of the Lougers' battles with Kung Pow and Deer-A-Nator unfold.
  • Lord Cobra: "Wow, even the Uniter is practicly in a stalemate with that female deer! She's even getting legit damage from that crazed doe! Where was this Vampi character when we first invaded Zootopia!?..... Oh right..... Dead.... Oh I SO wished I thought of bringing the female deer back for that time, then not only would've we still had Kai and scored Zootopia, BUT WE COULD'VE HAD A KICKASS FEMALE DEER AS WELL!?"
  • Jafar: "Well what's stopping you from simply using your magic to grab the brutish deer woman now?"
  • Cobra: Well, I think you'd know by now why THAT wouldn't be a good idea. She was made this way because of a video game. And judging by what she saw, who do you think she won't take kindly to when we introduce her to everybody, epseically THREE certain gun-trotting hunters?
  • Jafar: Clayton, McLeach, and Gaston?
  • Cobra: EXACTLY! If we WERE to use her, if she saw humans who are designated as hunters, she'd try and kill them, AND us for having them as members. It's NOT a good idea to bring in a deer who has an insane prejudice against hunters thanks to a video game.
  • Maleficent: Despite the fact that there's other games about deer-human relations like those games about deer-hunting, the one SHE saw was nothing more then a reverse-role parody of the standerd that is often considered, as some people would call, 'badass' enough to inspire just about ANY deer to kill hunters. She may not be a buck, but she's a pretty good example that women shouldn't be judged as the weakest gender, you know, besides Mulan.
  • Venom: Hell, we have heard rumors that she dated ANOTHER Bambo-inspired deer... Though hadn't seen him since that time.
  • Cobra: Bottom-like, Vambi is NOT a good recruit choice for us.
  • Jafar: "Fair enough."
  • Captain Hook: "(The sound of a painful feminate grunt was heard) (All the Leagers, even the emotionless ones, flinched at this.) Sqactle the eyes! That forest deer really scored a painful punch to the gut!?"
  • The sound of an equily painful feminate grunt was heard, causing the villains to flinch as well!
  • Hades: "Ohhhh! Chewawa!"
  • Ursula: "Well, looks like the Uniter returned with a rebuttal! AH-HA-HA-HA?!"
  • Scar: "Ugggh, and they say lionesses get alittle catty and violent."
  • Shere Khan: "And yet they say males are the ones who fight too much? (Laughs abit). Isn't genderal hypocracy amusing?"
  • Oggie Boogie was seen gambling with other villains!
  • Oggie: "A big ol' pile of contraband money says the Deer K.O.'s Gazzy!"
  • Gaston: "Gaston saids that the pretty popstar ineditability overcomes the deer with her uniter-enlighteness nonsense while the misfits somehow get her bratty fawn away from Mushu's basturd uncle, for 100!"
  • Galaxhar: "I'll take a slice of this action."
  • Makunga: "80 bucks goes with Gaston!"
  • Mcleach: "600 bucks worth of skinned hides saids the popstar will win!"
  • Villains start to get conpetitive with the gambling!
  • Chrysalis: "..... Is Oggie and those other idiots really doing this?"
  • Cobra: "Oggie was always the gambler type, so what is one to expect?"
  • Venom: Well, on the up side, we get to listen to the villains betting on Vambi whine their asses off when they lose. CLEARLY, the Uniter seems too powerful for the insane deer.
  • Cobra: Indeed. Those guys are foolish to bet against Gazelle, even after she kicked Kai's butt back into the Spirit Realm so hard, it'll take us QUITE a lot of work to get him back. He was equal in combat as Oogway, and even a panda AND an ultra-powerful messiah can kick his butt.

Later...

  • Oogie: (As Gazelle defeated Deer-a-Nator)... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
  • McLeach: HAH! And YOU guys owe me some poaching.
  • Clayton: Hmmph! I say I'll only get you as much as I can before any heroes show up. You know poaching is outlawed UUniversally!
  • Oogie: (Gets better surprisingly quick) Yeah, that child you kidnapped said so.
  • McLeach: DON'T rub it in, and just let me agree with you, you big fat bag of bugs.
  • Cobra: Well, Oogie and everyone who joined in his bet, I hope you've learned your lesson about underestimating an opponent like the Uniter Princess.
  • Foop: You know what upsets me? We never get to do anything outside of this place. I mean, I know we're villains, and hiding is required, but when you have to deal with that for so long, you start to wish you had Doctor Doom's lifestyle.
  • Cobra: Oh hey, Foop, you appeared rather early and it's not even a certain episode yet. You're just saying that because you've been in Abracatraz since you were 1 day old, AND that your parents are a part of the Scourge that DOES have a life like Doctor Doom's. They basically RUN the Bionicle homeworld.
  • Foop: I'm just saying, doesn't it BOTHER you guys that you don't get to go out and actually try to do something civilized BEFORE you turn on them and come back? I mean, come on, at least WE need vacations like the heroes do.
  • Carnage: We don't complain. We like it just fine.
  • Foop: Your opinion technically doesn't count since you're an insane serial killer with an alien parasite as a suit.
  • Cobra: Hey, while I would agree that a chance to stretch out and stop hiding from the roots of justice is a grand opportunity, it's STILL a risky move. Besides, you could technically call prisons in your native worlds enough vacation as it is.
  • Junjie: HACKS! I call HACKS! We are NOT going to have that Robot Chicken DC Comics Special 2: Villains in Paradise argument. Have you actually SPENT time in Chorh-Gom Prison? The cuisine looks like tofu vomited a dozen times... Or just tofu, one or the other, the criminals are hard to look at, ESPECIALLY when they come from our rival villain teams, and the guards are mean as s***!
  • Tai Lung: I couldn't agree more. That rhino guard, Valhar, back-talked me, mocked me on occations, AND stepped on my tail.
  • Junjie: Weren't you immobilized with an acupuncture-thingy when that happened? I forgotten the name of them, but I'm pretty sure it numbs the body just like actual acupuncture does.
  • Tai Lung: Yeah, but that's STILL a sign of mean.
  • Junjie: Well, at least you weren't in Cirhi-Wang Prison. You remember that prisoner golden takin gremlin of an old goat, Chu Zhung? I'm at least glad that not only was HE there, but he's no longer suited to bitch-slap prisoners like he used to in his time. Remember that corrupt country prison on Family Guy? Cirhi-Wang Prison was like that to a T. I'm GLAD that guy is still there, and WILL be there for the rest of his days.
  • Tai Lung: Definitely.
  • Cobra: Okay, okay, so prison is not a good place for a vacation. You made your point-
  • Plankton: Oh, and remember when I was in jail? Not just after the first movie and/or the first Moisode before you recruited me, but that one episode where I broke out of prison with big hair, Karen kicked me out of my old home, and I made a rock-band with SpongeBob and the others?
  • Makunga: Wait, what?
  • Plankton: Remember that the show has mixed-up continuity, don't question it. Well, when I was there, it was ATROCIOUS! I fell into my bowl of chili and almost drowned, everything was only fit for bigger prisoners, especially fish, which by the way, should naturally EAT guys like us, which I only found out through some crazy prisoner, and don't even get me started on the community service I was forced into after I stole SpongeBob's girl's fur and got her into trial. Believe me, being put in that jar of mustard was the SECOND worst thing I suffered at that time.
  • Cobra: Okay, granted, I-
  • Prince John: And that time I served in prison when my brother went back to power after those Lodgers defeated me with the help of my traitorous servant! I had to have one of Trigger's dumb crossbow arrows surgically removed from my ass, and since that kind of service was jack-squat in prison, and not just because it was pre-Magna Carta times, the Sheriff here had to remove it FOR me.
  • Captain Hook: Uh, why are we still calling this mutt 'Sheriff' when he's CLEARLY not that anymore? What, does he have a name as laughable as 'Francis' or 'Sheldon'?
  • Plankton: "HEY!?"
  • Prince John:... Trust me, his name made ME laugh, too.
  • Sheriff: Oh, PLEASE don't say it to them. I already humiliated myself by bettin' against the animalized-Shakira, I don't need to be humiliated any further.
  • Prince John: Well, I'm gonna say it anyway as payback for that 'Phony King of England' song. His name is... (Scoffs)... Mervin. (After 2 seconds of silence, everyone laughed)
  • Sheriff: OH, HUSH YOUR MOUTHS, ALL OF YOU!!!
  • Makunga:.. Okay... Mervin. (They all laughed again)
  • Cobra: ENOUGH!!! You've all made your-
  • Alameda Slim: And don't even get me started about the prisons on MY world-
  • Cobra: I SAID ENOUGH!!! (The word echoed)... I get it, prison is NOT a good vacation spot. But we're villains, and times are tough for people like us. Not ALL villains have to be like Doctor Doom, or those villains that have the easy life of luxury. We're just too wanted and hated to have even the SLIGHTEST chance to have time off. Granted, if that opportunity COMES to us, it would be great, but it's not like something like THAT is just going to be delivered at our doorstep-
  • The Doorbell in sytile of steriotypical transvilvainia music was heard.
  • Junjie: "..... Odd, I thought we scared away those stupid girl scouts for good."
  • Jafar: "Allow me to make sure (Eyes turned glowy red) they get the message."

Doorfront.

  • Jafar magicly appeared and aimed his snake specter, but instead of girlscouts, it's just a lone coupon.
  • Jafar: "..... Hello..... What have we here?"

Leage Room.

  • Jafar returned with the coupon in hand.
  • Darnell: Duh, what is it, Mr. Jafar? Did Deadpool write funny words on the door again?
  • Scroop: (Grabs him by the nose) I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION HIM!!!
  • Jafar: Calm yourselves, numbskulls. This appears to be a legitimate gift.
  • Cobra:... Who in their right mind would send a gift to villains? And, wouldn't our Shocktrooper patrols have seen whoever delivered them?

Cutaway

  • Wind Rider: (He zoomed by delivering the coupons so fast, no Shocktrooper noticed him)

Present

  • Gaspar: (Looks at the coupons)... Odd... They appear to be coupons to Restaurant Row in Canterlot.
  • Red One: We... WE'VE BEEN INVITED TO DINNER?!?
  • Cobra: I don't trust this for one second. Why would anyone invite us to a dinner at a civilized corner of the capital of the homeworld of a race we CLEARLY established we hate, not because it's girly, but because they've should've been too easy for us to conquer?
  • Chrysalis: Hmmph, maybe whoever sent them is offering a chance to give us something in return. Like that traitor of my hive, Thorax.
  • Cobra: Hmm... That MIGHT be the case. After all, who would DARE trust your kind after that stunt you pulled?
  • Chrysalis:... Do you not recall that not ALL of my kind went to the path I went to? Remember my sister?
  • Cobra:... You know, now that you mention it, we never got the lowdown on your race's history.
  • Chrysalis: I'd RATHER not talk about it right now. I'll wait until I'm in a good mood, like when we get that son of a maggot, Thorax. Or if because it's an emergeny.
  • Foop: Perhaps that could be arranged, if we go to Canterlot and accept these invites.
  • Cobra: Guys, use those loaves in your heads you call 'brains'! There's a coupon offering us a free dinner in the kingdom of Princess Celestia, one of the enemies that turned one of my dear followers against me. Don't you find that the LEAST bit suspicious?
  • Mirage: (Comes in) I would agree. No person OR filthy equine in their RIGHT pure mind would invite us for a dinner, ESPECIALLY after they know what we did to them. I must insist that we do NOT fall for what I feel is someone using us.
  • Foop: But-
  • Mirage: NO BUTS! I do not care if some of you wish for a 'vacation', as absurd yet well-needed as that sounds, this is NOT what I would call a good opportunity to do that. Also, let's be honest, these restuarents are likely to have policies allowing them to reserve the right to refuse service to us, so it's not like we're capable to actselly honor the coupons! There's also the matter of the coupons having any legitamentcy as well.
  • Chrysalis: Your majesty, with all due respect, when you think about it more, you COULD wonder WHY they would offer this to us. Most of the ponies in that love-rich overgrown farm HATE us Changelings after what we did to them, and it would SURELY take a while for even my sister to heal that trust. To them, there's simply no such thing as a 'nice' Changeling! Darkingly ironic and racist of them to believe that, I know! So, by that logic, it's possible that the ponies, or at the least a very extreme minority if that Duke guy was anything to come by, are planning to turn that traitor Thorax in for us so I can punish him into an eternal hibernation slumber until he rots, shrivels up, and dies.
  • Voort: EEEEYYYHHH!!! Is THAT how you punish traitors in your hive?
  • Chrysalis: I consider killing them myself quite... Distasteful..... Yes, I know. A creepy nightmare-fuely evil queen, doesn't like to get blood on her hooves. Weird, I know! Don't ask why, I just do. (To Mirage) So, you can't deny that this is POSSIBLY another xenophobic pony waiting to turn that Changeling-gone-soft in to us. And let's be honest, nopony there wants to use us in whatever small scale schemes for whatever petty smaller scale reason they want, KNOWING we don't take kindly to that kind of slime.
  • Mirage:... You know... That may be a logical point. We've proven to those mules that we don't and NEVER will tolerate being used to do their dirty work. I can't say I believe you enough, but this is CLEARLY an insult to us. If this DOES turn out to be a hoax, that proves that ponies HAVEN'T learned their lesson in fearing us, and that they WILL pay the ultimate price. So I shall only RELUCTANTLY allow you to go off on this 'dinner', but only for you to show them that they'd BETTER be legitimate with it.
  • Cobra: I COULDN'T agree more. We're going, and we're going to get a GOOD point across. You all want a vacation? Well, you're going to GET it, VILLAIN STYLE! (Everyone cheers)

Gourmand Manor.

  • The Leage's plocromation was seen via a magic portal.
  • Zesty: "..... Ya know, at one hoove, I have to give these villains props for not being so quick to accept a free coupon.... In another, kinda rude to look a gift-horse in the mouth, is it not?"
  • Svengallop: "Admitingly, unexpected, and on top that, we potaintionally endangered that defect Changeling Thor-Ass!"
  • Zesty: "But fortunately, at least they'll turn their attention to the restaurents in hoping to seek out a racist pony who wants to turn in Thorax... Of which, they'll ineditably be disappointed that it's not so, and attack the restaurents in rage of their time being wasted."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Not meaning to sound like my cowerdly old self, but you sure the leage isn't a high enough risk? They're large enough to do great damage on their own."
  • Zesty: "Oh trust me, if we just settled for an average leage attack, one appearence of the Lougers later and it's finished. The additional villains will, give allittle ooph in making sure the restuarents won't survive either way. Now, time to ready Wind Rider for his next delivery."

Scourge Imperial Palace, Spherus Magna

  • The Dark Dragon sighed unenfusiasticly as he watched Kung Pow being overwealmed by Deer-A-Nator being freed of his control, after his magic staff was anti-climaticly broke alchourse.
  • Dark Dragon: ".... Alas, my dear Kung Pow, if only you're willing to put aside Lord Makuta's past sins on you, then maybe your little stunts like this recent mess would've at least lasted alittle longer. But now, the unexpectedly strong female deer and her son are soon to be expected to be given a newer, better chance at life as soon as the misfits won a Tri-Corn trial.... And you.... Well.... Life indeed is not fair. You see..... I am still meeting the ambitions of conguring the whole universes...... And you.... Are a struggling independent desten for Prison 42..... (Sighs).... The bigger shame is that you also lost your magnifisent mechcanical body AND that great makuta-bot army.... How I dream to have a way to re-create what you lost and revert your grudge and have you back to true service?"
  • Meng Tao and Mercurymon came in.
  • Meng Tao: "Still being unhappy about yet another blunder by that wash-out wizard, your lordship?"
  • Dark Dragon: Yes. He was a GRAND opportunity to discover yet ANOTHER one of the Great Makuta's greatest creations, yet even IT was a failure to the Lodgers. Now that power is as lost as an asteroid in space. As a result, I still have to settle for an ENTIRE army made of outdated machines from an old-year toyline!
  • Krekka: Hey, me and Nidhiki were part of that toyline!
  • Dark Dragon: Yes, of course, my apologies. My point is, even the preasence of your usual enemies the Toa doesn't help, neither is the revived Mata Nui, and his concerningly bad ass mortal form! They have came to make this much harder for us then even the Lougers could've wish to have done!
  • Meng Tao: Don't worry, sir, we'll figure something out.
  • Anti-Cosmo: (Poofs in with Anti-Wanda) Ugggh, THAT was annoying! That Meerkat is ignorent beyond reprouch!
  • Anti-Wanda: HAH! Speak for yerself, I liked his Nation Lane like singing voice!
  • Mercurymon:... What have YOU two obvious recolors been up to?
  • Anti-Cosmo: Oh, we just found a world that was in it's Friday the 13th date, so we thought 'what the f***, let's just do what we naturally do, cause some bad luck'. And it was QUITE the adventure. Granted, even as a villain, I'm kinda disturbed on how the meerkat didn't realised that his pig friend was in a nasty predicterment, NOT EVEN ONCE!
  • Anti-Wanda: Shoo-right! You should've seen it, big-cheese! We ended up doing a shot of bad luck SO hard, it turned into QUITE a show!

Cutaway

  • Anti-Cosmo: (They were in the Pride Lands as they saw Timon and Pumbaa as this song played and the two chuckled)
The_Lion_King_-_Stand_By_Me

The Lion King - Stand By Me

Present

  • Anti-Wanda: Ahhh, taint nothin' like messin' with a pig that whooped us senseless.
  • Anti-Cosmo: "Admitingly yes. Though I hope that prior flashback scene isn't a sign to things to come that'll lead to a painful commupence."
  • Mercurymon: Oh, come ON, guys, that is SO 1995!
  • Anti-Cosmo: Hey, that moment technically COUNTED as bad luck, so it sure had OUR names on it. I mean, you have to do SOMETHING to pass the time, AND to wipe off the stress of being a villain. I mean, think about it. Isn't being villains that do nothing but plan schemes to take over the UUniverses only to be beaten by pathetic bumbling comical morons the SLIGHTEST bit stressful for you?
  • Nidhiki: Well, for some of us, we're technically robots, so we don't FEEL stress.
  • Krekka: Aren't we what some would call, bionic beings? I mean, it's RIGHT in our franchise's name.
  • Nidhiki: Well, we're SUPPOSED to be mainly machine. Hell, we don't need oxygen, so SOME of us have to dwell in an underwater prison.
  • Dark Dragon: Well, as much of a fair point you might make, it would be FOOLISH to wander away from here just for the sake of taking time off. I DO feel stressed out from doing the same thing over and over again, but being villains, times are really tough for us.
  • Anti-Wanda: Well, it's kinda easy for us Anti-Fairies since we're magical creatures that share an oppositional auramatic bond with fairies, so we can just go wherever the hell we want.
  • Anti-Cosmo: (Sighs) Honey, first of all, it's oppositional ASTRAL bonds. Second, even WITH magic, it would be impossible to avoid our enemies because THEY have magic too. But back on th subject, it would be nice to at least have ONE chance to relax and enjoy what life has to offer. Being a villain doesn't mean your life has to be hiding, having coal in your Christmas stocking, or at worst have Christmas elves pummel you with coal-launchers like with what happened to those INCOMPETENT excuse for Villain Leaguers, and just relying on that recent holiday miracle coming up in a few months on Mugshotra that is NaughtySanta.com that is going to be run by the fired Santa of the American Dad! world for not only attempting to murder a family, but also for profiting from naughty children, which apparently was a violation to everything the holiday stood for, and I'm surprised the Santa Community didn't fire him sooner, or by just going all GTA on a town just for s***s and giggles like a few unfortunate criminals have done. Don't you wanna do something ELSE for a change?
  • Dark Dragon: I'd be lying if I said I DIDN'T, AC. But it's not like an opportunity like that is going to just be delivered at our doorstep-
  • The Doorbell played to the theme of Darth Vader's theme.
  • Mecurymon: "..... Did someone, made the bold attempt to ring the door of the Dark Dragon Scougre Empire?"
  • Meng Tao: "And why is our doorbell based on the Darth Vader theme?"
  • Dark Dragon: "Well, let's award that bravery with the Rahkshi."

Outside.

  • The Rahkshi appeared from the door aiming their staffs at the direction of what would've been the location of an intruder, only to find nothing but a lone coupon.
  • Turahk, one of the Rahskis, picked it up.

Throwne room.

  • Turahk was seen giving Meng Tao the coupon.
  • Meng Tao: "..... Your highess, this, may sound very odd, but.... We've been given a free coupon!"
  • Dark Dragon: "Oh it's propbuly just another Muggshotra advertisement for some thing they have and-"
  • Mercurymon: "Actselly your highness..... Muggshotra isn't even mentioned in this coupon!"
  • Dark Dragon:... What?
  • Mercurymon:... It's inviting us to Restaurant Row in Canterlot.
  • Dark Dragon:... WHAT?!? (The word echoed across Spherus Magna, heard by even the Toa)... You mean to tell me that those FILTHY equines are inviting ME, the mighty leader of the Dragon Scourge, to a fancy dinner in the capital of their girly-as-hell world?!? PREPOSTEROUS!!! THIS HAS TO CLEARLY BE A TRICK!!!
  • Anti-Cosmo: Hmm... Or perhaps it's an opportunity to blow off all this steam.
  • Dark Dragon:... Excuse me?
  • Anti-Cosmo: "I mean, don't get me wrong, my good emperor, I consider Equestia to be the last place I would like to visit for reasons other then the threat of having my mascalenity questioned, but I'm at the kind of stressed out state that I am in, I mean, honestly, it's so badly high enough, that not even simply causing bad luck isn't entirely cutting it for me anymore. I wouldn't really mind a chance to have a vacation."
  • Dark Dragon: "Let's review a few problems in your otherwise flawless logic, Anti-Cosmo! One, we obviously DO NOT have a kind reputation with those mini-horses, so no sane pony would send us a coupon to enjoy a free meal! On top of that, I wager those restaurents would have poloices against serving people like us, given that it's not a villain friendly world like Muggshotra. Secondly, I doubt the ruling High Councilers there would be so generious to allow us to be among them. And given that we have done nothing but attempted conquest, who's to really blame them? And finally, remember the fact that I CAN'T STAND BEING SURROUNDED BY THEIR FAMILY FRIENDLY CUTENESS!? Being revamped away from their worser older generations or not, they're still annoyingly girly! And being slightly easier on the eyes to the point that there's people who draw questionable fanart of them, doesn't change that!"
  • Anti-Cosmo: "Oh by all means, your eminence, you don't have to like them, just as much as they don't have to like you. Just take it as an oppertunity to have your followers enjoy a nice change of pace and eat something other then what the slaves always cooked up. I mean, there's no love in them. But to spice it up in case your too much of an anti-brony about it, consider this. What if this was the work of a possable defecter of Equestia? It doesn't nessersarly have to be a pony, but perhaps an angry anti-pony dragon like yourself, or a griffin of simular beliefs, that wants your aide to empower the mythic beings that want to overthrow the power of the ponies in faver for them and those who disavow their weird religen on what's pretty much a pet name for an allience! Ever consider that?"
  • Chancller Chang: "Then why, wasn't he or she direct with us about it?!"
  • Anti-Cosmo: "I wager that is because the likes of the surrenderists like King Dragkis are cracking down on those who have no love for ponies in meaning to stop a new Pred Judu Des from coming to existence, espeically since that Baku clown is still out and about with those shamed Flame Claners. With that wonderland of bad luck not in the best emotional state, any defecters to the mythics who bow to friendship obviously want a means to have a new leader! I wager that they gotten desperate enough to ask, for the aide of the Great Scougre Empire!"
  • Dark Dragon smiled at that.
  • Dark Dragon: "...... I like that thought. Taking advantage of the desperation of racists to take down the entire High Council world of Equestia! BRILLIENT! Those pony haters are about to get their wish..... (Sinisterly) Only for their dreams to turn into a nightmare! Those desperate fools are about to pay a painful price of being quick to ask the same force that is infamously known best for turning against Fang! And by Makuta, they will learn why that unfortunate reputation was earned, HARD?!"
  • Mercurymon: "I can already envision the remorseful regret of those mythic suprimists when they discover that the Scougre Empire was beyond overkill!"
  • Meng Tao: "(Laughs), Those xenophobic fools! Did they really think that we won't turn them into our slaves after we take over Equestia for good? Whatever egotistical equine hating fool send this, he'll soon enough regret his decidion to expect us to be of use!"
  • Dark Dragon: "Then it's settled then. It's time we remind all of Equestia, even the likes of those anti-pony mythics, that ALL shall fear the Dark Dragon Scougre Empire! And we shall start, by annexing Restuarent Row! AND BE MADE AWARE, IT WON'T BE RECKINDISEABLE, WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH IT!?"
  • The Scougre Imperials cheered!

Gourmand manor.

  • Zesty grined at her success.
  • Zesty: "I imagined the treacherious dragon would succumb to a desire to have a free shot to Equestia. But even they are still not enough.... Now, fot the tricky part."
  • Wind Rider: "In that cause, your daughter's gonna have to give a space suit for this."

Nefarious Space Station

  • Nefarious: (As he was sitting in a briefing room with everyone in seat rows, including two new faces)... Well, my nefarious friends, it seems like that little stunt Kung-Pooey did with that she-Bambo, was a colossal failure.
  • Dr. Doofenschmirtz: HAH! What a loser!
  • King Dedede: "Double on that, Doof! He fails worser then you!"
  • Doofensmirts: "HEY!"
  • Nefarious: Now then, before we begin discussing plans, I'd like to welcome two new-comers from both MY worlds AND the twin world. Meet Stewart Zurgo, former Qwark geek turned evil by his controversy as I personally had him removed from his house arrest with his mother... (Stewart himself from Full Frontal Assault was seen)... Sadly, we were NOT able to score Ace Hardlight, even dispite of his controversey.
  • Scratch: "Why's that?"
  • Bellwether: "Well, HERE's a serious kicker! Appearently, Ace went out of his way to endorse and fund the govermental project known as the Hero Reviver, a planned super-project to bring heroes back from the dead no matter how long ago they died. That includes those who had the misfortune to had gotten involed with that space underground fight show. That indeed is gonna be a real slap in the face for our dreams to get Ace involved, cause surprisingly, the people totally began to forgive him like it was no big deal!"
  • Mr. Smarty Smarts: "Which soon enough will."
  • Dr. Nefarious: It's indeed a real shame. But still, we move on. Now then, last but not least, Shiv Helix! (The guy from the 2016 Game was seen)... One of the criminals that I was fortunate enough to pick up from that rotten reboot of our series, and degraded my character to a MASSIVE degree. They had the BALLS to say that I used to be a Galactic Ranger until Qwark took too much credit and made me a bad guy.
  • Shiv: Eh, look on the bright side, sir, at least your counterpart STILL made it to a robot form.
  • Dr. Nefarious: But that's still not an excuse. If that reboot franchise DOES make a sequel, OR if they consider continuing the OLD series DESPITE how much the reboot changed, INCLUDING the story of the Lombaxes, I'll at least ONLY set foot in that place if there's more criminals to add to my ranks.
  • Zurg: Have you considered asking the Progs to join? They look like rather serious villains and the leage hasn't yet included them, and-
  • Dr. Nefarious: (Looked at him with a comically-pissed-off face that frightened Zurg as he stepped all the way to him with a motionless body right in his face)... You seen what went on with THEM in THEIR game, right?
  • Zurg:... Yes?
  • Dr. Nefarious: And you know that they were only wishing to help their interdimensional race, UNAWARE that their parents relocated them to protect them from that giant techno-eyeball thing?
  • Zurg:... Yes?
  • Dr. Nefarious: AAAAAAAAAND Neftin openly declared that the two would turn themselves in and STOP being evil after he promised the Lombax to turn himself in for his assistance, right?
  • Zurg:... Yes?
  • Dr. Nefarious: "AND YOU DO REMEMBER HOW EMOTIONALLY TORNED APARRT THE HEROES WERE ABOUT THEIR TWO OLD WARBOT FRIENDS WHEN THEY ORIGINALLY DIED BEFORE AN ANOMALITY OF A CRAGMITE MIRACTULIOUSLY REVIVED THEM?!"
  • Zurg: "Oh that was particularly infamous.... I, would imagine that cause of those reasons, that the Fighters would, not be happy about it?"
  • Dr. Nefarious: EXACTLY?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND after all that, would you expect that giant cyborg ape to even ALLOW themselves to join us?
  • Zurg:... No-
  • Dr. Nefarious: THEN WHY THE F*** ARE YOU ASKING THAT QUESTION WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO IT?!?
  • Zurg:... Sorry, sir. I, just felt they would've been nice additions cause of how much serious those two are. I, guess they were TOO hot for us then?
  • XL: You know, Thugs-4-Less is still around.
  • Dr. Nefarious: Sadly, XL, they prefer to be strictly mercenaries! And the Galactic Feds has done well enough to make sure they don't help top tier villains like us to prevent repeats of serious problems! Now, are we finished discussing the possibilities of further members, or can I actually GET BACK TO DISCUSSING MY NEW PLAN?!? (Everyone moans)... Okay, what is the problem NOW?!?
  • Undertow: You're working us to the BONE, Nefarious! Many of us have butt-polished these seats into reflective surfaces. All we do is plan, terrorize, fight heroes, fail, rinse and repeat! And when we're NOT doing that, we're simply adding new recruits and/or take part in that space opera that you NEVER SEEM TO MADE HAPPEN!?
  • Dr. Nefarious:... What exactly are you SAYING, anchovy?
  • Undertow: ANCHOVY?!? WHY, I OUGHTTA-
  • Dr. Doofenschmirtz: I think the tiny shark has a point. That's practically all we do. The evil plans I do are partially because I've had the WORST past of anybody else in my world. I'm surprised that I remember SO MANY of them. I was a freakin' lawn gnome, I had a more successful brother who was elected mayor, I sucked as a hand puppeteer, I sucked at kickball yet was excellent at cup-stacking much to the shunning of my mother, I lost Balloony for God knows how long until some stupid alien turned him against me until certain events, I have an ex-wife and a daughter who often hates me, I wore girl clothes for an entire year, it took me a while to learn how to drive, I failed a rite-of-passage that involved a high-dive after so many people called me-
  • Dr. Nefarious: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, SCHNITZEL!!!
  • Dr. Doofenschmitz:... (Runs away crying)
  • Zurg: WHAT THE F***, NEFARIOUS!
  • Garble: Oh, geez! I know Doof was an annoying dork, but, seriously?!
  • King Dedede: Eh, at least he shut him up. If we had to hear EVERY one of his unfortunate moments in his past, we were gonna be here all day.
  • Dr. Nefarious: So where exactly were you going with this?
  • Undertow: We're saying that we're BORED of doing the same damn thing over and over again. Hell, the Villain League KNOWS we're trying to blackmail them with the Generator, so by this point, it's fruitless to do it since they won't POSSIBLY fall for it.
  • Dr. Nefarious: IT'S STILL POSSIBLE, YOU KNOW!
  • Escargoon: I agree with the tiny shark, we need a vacation!
  • All Nefarious Members except a few: VACATION! VACATION!
  • Dr. Nefarious: You simpletons have PLENTY of time off! Dedede, you freaking rule Pop Star with a frenemy in that baby puffball, Doofenschmirtz has his own company AND a frenemy in that dumb animal in a fedora, hell, MANY of you have your own lives of luxury and power, and even with ALL your arch-enemies defeating you, you still RARELY end up in jail. Hell, jail ITSELF should ALSO count as vacation.
  • Torque: OH, YOU THINK SO?!? Have you spent TIME in prison in MY worlds? It's boring as balls! Hell, YOU'VE been in Prison 42 once or twice. That place may have had problems BEFORE the High Council gained it since APPARENTLY it was in a dimension that can induce emotional trauma for anyone that's in it, being built when it's scientist dumbasses considered it a good place to put it in a psychological madhouse like THAT during some whiny safety vs. freedom debacle, until the High Council decided to convince their minor member Black One-Eye Jules Furyfred to put it in a more balanced area so they can use it themselves. Even so, with all the crazy regulations there, it's STILL no different than being emotionally scarred by a dimension of negative-freakin' energy.
  • Dr. Nefarious:... Alright, good point. But still, you think we can ACTUALLY afford to use a vacation with the name we gave ourselves? Times are really TOUGH for a villain. I mean, at least Mugshotra is making it EASY to be a villain like giving us a Santa of our own in the form of some murderous nasty profiteer Santa from one of those Seth McFarlane worlds to have a corrupt workshop on Mugshotra's North Pole, but still, when you're a villain, there's going to be places out there that will refuse to serve you. I mean, for the love of Zoni, do you think an opportunity like that is just going to be delivered at our doorstep-
  • A Electronic Doorball that sounded like a windows computer turning on.
  • Bellwether: "...... We, have a doorbell, on a space station?"
  • Warp Darkmatter: "Aw craters, it's the Space Scouts again coming to sell us Space Cookies."
  • Bellwether: "Don't you think it's redundent to put space in front of certain things just because we're in space?"
  • Warp: ".... What're you trying to say, Sheep?"
  • XL: I think I may agree with the walking cloud, Warpy. I mean, have you SEEN Dragon Ball Z Abridged when Frieza and his henchmen were always saying 'Space' in front of certain things? Like, 'Space Australia' or 'Space RadioShack'?
  • Torque: Oh, yeah, I can't tell ya' how many prisoners in MY world said space junk like that.
  • Grounder: WAIT, you're doing it, too!
  • Torque: Uh, 'space junk' is a legitimate phrase meaning junk that orbits a planet, dumbass! You know, like debris of destroyed space crafts?
  • Grounder: Oh.
  • Torque: I mean, come on, I've seen the prisoners of my world say stuff like that. Like that ugly bastard Gorofon. He was all 'space food' this 'space games' that. I mean, COME ON, I'd expect a space community in that forbidden Memeverse to do something like THAT!
  • Scratch: Maybe Ratchet must've blasted your face harder than you thought yesterday when we were in cahoots with that 'Junkman' guy smuggling all those gallons of primordial ooze from one of those Precambrian worlds, eh, Warpy? HA-HA-HAAAH!
  • Warp: (Takes out his arm cannon) If I were you, I wouldn't laugh at the weapon-bound traiter of Star Command who could kill you for it.
  • Dr. Nefarious: (Sighs) Will SOMEBODY just check who that is already?
  • Lawrence: I already have sir. And it's nothing like those Galactic Girl Scouts. Apparently, it's a coupon for Restaurant Row in Canterlot.
  • Spot:... (Laughs in a dry tone) I never knew you had a sense of humor, Lawry. Like those ponies would EVER invite us to a fancy dinner.
  • Lawrence: It is true. Right here in black-and-white.
  • Dr. Nefarious: (Snatches it and reads the description)... WHAT?!? OH, SPACE CHRIST, THIS IS JUST SPACE SLUG S***!!!
  • Bellwether:... See what I mean? It's ridiculous.
  • Escargoon: Hey, as long as they make the audience laugh, it's totally worth it.
  • Bellwether: What audience?
  • Escargoon:... Oy!
  • Grounder: "Oh boy! A coupon to one of Equestia's finest eateries! Our vacation prayers have been answered-ed!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "HOLD UP, GUYS AND GALS!? Let's remember a few things here. For one, we're not exactly on the popular lists in all of Equestia! Two, restaurents not in the control of Muggshotra automaticly reject any and all villains by polocy, even if it's the so-n-so underdogs like us! Espeically since some of them will still be sore about the Dragon Lands fiasco! 3rd, Celestia would probuly boot us out or call the Lougers on us if even one strain of hair of a pony gets hurt! And finally but most impourently, that coupon could be some sort of lure of someone's dasturdly sceame!"
  • Bellwether: "Oh, ya know, that is very intelligent of you to make that obsvervation. I really did a good job on you. Now, there's the matter of why anyone would want us to come to Restaurent Row?"
  • Dr. Doofinshirts: "Well, maybe it was a Blueblood critic wanting us to take Blueblood back?"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "Nah, they pretty much went out of sytile when Blueblood had a better status in life."
  • King Dedede: "Well I bet it was one of our lost Nefarious Troopers or Hornets using a restaurent coupon to call for help cause they awaken from being reprogramed as wussies by Electross!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "Doubt it. That Bradly bot keeps robots like that DAMN well in line!"
  • Morgana: "Or maybe it was someone else's coupon and it got lost in space and it miraculiously, in an ironic way, ended up here."
  • Undertow: "Then explain the doorbell. How did that go off if it was your throey?"
  • Morgana: ".... Oh."
  • Rover: "Oh, oh, oh! I know! Maybe Equestia has a possable defecter that wishes to let us know of Equestia's secrets so we can be able to be unstoppable!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "That seems likely, but, who would it be, also, why via a coupon for a place unlikely to really serve us?"
  • Mr. Smarty Smarts: "I think it's a defecting adviser."
  • Morgana: "Or a dishonest guard tired of his profession being viewed as a joke."
  • Undertow: "Or it could be just pranksters trying to mess with us."
  • King Dedede: "Even better! What if Luna's going back to Nightmare Moon and is deciding to get down with Team Nefarious!? That could be our oppertunity to have an alicorn on our side again!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: PUH-SHYAH! First off, Nightmare Moon clearly leans torwords the leage to the point she would automaticly crawl back to them even dispite not doing well last time! Also, even then, she tecnecally still has a membership there, so if she ever desires outside help again, they would come first before anything else! But most of all, and even if she's desperate enough, if Luna DID turned back into Nightmare Moon, the Mane Six would Rainbow Power her back to normal before we could reach her.
  • Garble:... Or...
  • Dr. Nefarious:... Or?
  • Garble:... Or maybe it's one of MY kind. Remember that scheme of trying to recruit more dragons onto our side? Perhaps it's a dragon that hates ponies originally like yours truely, well, 50/50 at best, I still question that friendship and purity stuff, but I appresiate that Shinebutt got removed from office, but at the same time-
  • Dr. Nefarious: "We don't need to be reminded of your neutrol/dislike leaning feelings, Garb, get to the point!"
  • Garble: OH, right! Perhaps this is from a pony hating dragon that wishes to see them wiped off the map, or at best, greatly punished if he was moral enough, over some prejudicial maniac on par with what Pred used to be like. Or maybe it's a distant wronged victim caused by Pred. Perhaps this guy's got MORE dragons to offer us.
  • Dr. Nefarious:... Perhaps... That MIGHT be the case. After all, dragons suffer the prejudice of ponies not just through Pred, but like that one comic. Perhaps there could be wronged souls ripe for the taking.
  • Garble: Exactly! There's PLENTY of them out there that wish get MAJOR even with Equestia, most likely cause of Pred's shit. If so, I give him props for managing to not end up just another captured guy by Dragkis's campiagn to capture angry mythics to keep that Baku wacko from getting new guys! Perhaps a dragon is offering us dinner there.
  • Lawrence:... Would it be wise to invite us to a public place if they were going to discuss something like THAT to us?
  • Garble: Maybe the food's to go, to a private hidden location.
  • Dr. Nefarious: You know, you've convinced me well enough, Garble. We're going there to make sure this is a legitimate business proposition. Lawrence, you know what to do. Be sure to prepare our forces to keep us safe during this invitation. However, if this all turns out to be nothing more than a wild space goose-chase and those morons play dumb with us... THEN WE WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!!!
  • Lawrence: It will be done, sir. But I must warn you that such an act WILL call Lodger attention.
  • Dr. Nefarious: Eh, it doesn't matter. By the time they show up, most of that place will be nothing but rubble. Now go!
  • Lawrence: Already on it, sir. (Leaves)

Gourmand mansion.

  • Zesty gotten a bigger grin.
  • Zesty: "Well, I'm impressed that the usually quick to jump to things Team Nefarious took caution to this. I guess that little sheep did a good job in making them less like jokes."
  • Svengallop: "We're also lucky that Garble managed to suggest that a racist dragon is reaching out to them to get vengence on Equestia. Seriously, WHY do they assumed that racists and xenophobes of any calaber are reaching out to them!"
  • Zesty: "In all fairness, it's not that far-fatched as you assumed. Sometimes not everyone is happy with Equestia's preference in tolerence to others. Pred and the Shineflare reign go without mention. But ultamately, they will be ineditably disappointed that their so called "Hidden Racists" end up being no shows or because of thinking that the Restaurent Owners refusing to comply with a certain demand."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well not meaning to sound weak-hearted again, but you realise alchourse that they're not coming here for free food in knowing that they're not getting any."
  • Zesty: "True, but I welcome the supplement and consolation that they're coming here cause, for the leage, a chance to get at a defective changeling, for the scourge, would-be suckers to eventually betray, and for team nefarious, the promise of anti-pony dragons. While abit oppisite to what I had envisioned, it'll still lead to unpleasent problems for Restaurent Row anyway. But the three main villains are only but three pieces of a bigger picture. After all, the Lougers bested the three teams togather in one sitting before. Heck, one mere riot causing or intervention of allies and it'll be done before any serious enough damage sets it, let alone anything serious enough to lead to periment closure. Which is why, it's time for the Tri-Fecta of Misery."

A dark location in an unknown area.

This music plays as a group of villains walked down the halls in unison as respective minions saluted them.

06_-_March_Of_Farquuad

06 - March Of Farquuad

  • The yet to be fully shown villains sat down.
  • Leader: "...... The meeting of the Tri-Fecta of Misery is in session. A quick roll-call to make sure we're present.... Caveman?"
  • A brutish caveman super villain was seen!
  • Caveman: "THE, CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN..... Is here."
  • Leader: "(Rolls her eyes as the face was siluetted.).... Viper Woman?"
  • A Naga-like serpent woman: "Pressssssssent."
  • Leader: "Hump-Jetpack? (Some chuckles and giggles were heard).... Ok, seriously, Humps, you REALLY need to change that name!"
  • A camel in a jetpack: "I know, it's still a work in progress. Working title, ya know?"
  • Leader: "Butch Butcher?"
  • A menacing Butcher wearing a leathery pig mask chopped some meat while grunting!
  • Leader: ".... Clearly a yes. Steverio-Type?"
  • A Dobermen Pitcher was seen slouthing slyly on the chear.
  • Dobermen Pitcher: "Yo."
  • Leader: "Polar Captain?"
  • Polar Bear in over-the-top ice suit: "Reporting and freezing for duty!"
  • Leader: "Checkmate?"
  • A kangaroo in a snassy checkers suit and a hat in checker patterns is seen as she pushes a queen piece in place.
  • Kangaroo: "..... Checkmate, Mate."
  • Leader: "I trust Dr. Struch is also plresent?"
  • A Walliby in a mad doctor's outfit briefly came out and gave a thumbs up, then went back in!
  • Leader: "Good. Lord Marlin Sword?"
  • An Anthromorthic Swordfish in bedrobe attire was seen drinking fine seawater.
  • Swordfish: "Accounted for, my dear."
  • Leader: "Master Cluck-Fu?"
  • A musculer rooster is seen.
  • Rooster: "His preasence graces you all."
  • Leader: "And finally, Norton Hot Air."
  • A Disfigured Umbrella Man in a suit: "Hey, we talked about this, Miss Hynopa, it's "THE WEATHERMAN", not my normal name!"
  • The leader finally reveiled herself as a Rinkhal Cobra snake.
  • Hynopa: "No offence Norton, but like Humps, you need to work on the name more."
  • Norton: "Aw come on, it fits with who I once was, surely you know that!"
  • Hynopa: "I won't argue with you about this again, Norton.... Anyway.... Onto business. Caveman, what have you reported."
  • Caveman: "..... I found a rock!"
  • Silence....
  • Caveman: "..... It, was a big rock."
  • Norton: "OH YOU AND YOUR ROCKS, YOU HAS-BEEN OF A FUTURASIAN?! I EVEN FEEL IRONIC EVEN CALLING YOU THAT ANYMORE!?"
  • Hynopa: "Norton, be nice!"
  • Norton: "..... Yes ma'am."
  • Hynopa: "Ok, anyone with any REAL impourence they wish to share?"
  • Viper Woman: "A rare speices of Juju Anaconda has been found, my lovely Hynopa. That is a lovely oppertunity to include the latest creature heading to the Dragon Realms Zoo into my growing snake army."
  • Hynopa: "It will be considered. Humps?"
  • Hump-Jetpack: "Well, actselly, I made a digram. (Brings out a digram as the villains but the pathent Hynopa groaned.) You see, Rouge Pentatentry is holding a prisoner family reunion to rekindle broken bonds. I, I see this as an oppertunity to get my father back ever since the, unfortunate Night Howler mishap."
  • Norton: "Ya know that'll attract too much attention, Humpty Dumpty!"
  • Hump-Jetpack: "Oh give it a chance, guys!?"
  • Hynopa: "Do not worry, Humps, it'll be considered..... Butch?"
  • Butch moaned almost pitifully as he brings out a newspaper about the Ratchet and Clank universe's plans for a reviver machine, then points at his mask and then back at the machine's picture.
  • Butch: "Dohicky, bring piggy back."
  • Hynopa: "I see.... You wish to restore your dear pig friend after what has happened. You have my word it'll be among our priorities. Steven?"
  • Steverio-Type: "I got plans for a major score. A very rare form of power gem is found by accsident in the Tri-Corn Water Dam, and will only be on display for a short while until it gets buried deep with a heavly guarded dragon gem mine! That baby is not only worth a fortune, but it can make us ALL powerful! We'll mop the floor with the heroes!"
  • Hynopa: "Our goal is not for power or wealth, Steven. But, it is otherwise indeed impourent enough for our cause. Captain?"
  • Polar Captain: "How's about, we placed all of Kratos under a new ice age!? AND THEN THE UNIVERSES?!"
  • Hynopa: "...... Our goal is to make that tragity never happens again, not encourage it."
  • Polar Captain: "..... (Clears throat).... Sorry, I, keep forgetting that, Miss Hynopa. When your an ice villain, ya kinda tend to be a one trick pony.... I'll uh, I'll sit down. (Does that.)"
  • Hynopa: ".... Miss Checkmate?"
  • Checkmate: "Well shelia, I'm reckon we take our pawns and knights to capture the goverment queen Tri-Corn, and make the bloodly idiotic lizard obey our every whim to make the universe tragity-free. No worries on that one."
  • Hynopa: "Alittle too extreme even for our status, but when we are powerful enough, it will be considered. Right now, best to keep it in hiatus until we can atthive more members."
  • Lord Marlin: "Then you'll love my suggestion."
  • Hynopa: "Proceed."
  • Lord Merlin: "Well, obviously, the Equestian Monistairy is the biggest holder of reformed villains that side of the universes. It processes a healthy population of those that were victimed by the terrors of tragity. With your silver forked tongue, even the likes of the Anubus-inspired beings will be at your slither-tips."
  • Hynopa: "Interesting. I even heard that's where the Lougers will soon send the revived Deer-A-Nator once her trial with Tri-corn's finished. It'll be considered. Master Cluck-Fu?"
  • Master Cluck-Fu: "No need to mind me. I'm merely an obsever, waiting to offer his opinion when given a reason to."
  • Hynopa: "Understandable. Norton?"
  • Norton was about to speak-
  • Hynopa: "Anything other then cause a situation simular to "The Day After Tomorrow"?"
  • Norton: "Holy crapmonkies!? Are you psyic?!"
  • Hynopa:... You're asking that to a snake who has gone through a LOT of psychological guilt and horror after trying to restore a disturbed person that was mentally murdered by me trying to restore his sanity in his own... Freakishly messed-up... Subconscious... AND is a Superior telepath? Also, you suggest the weather thing, almost every meeting!
  • Norton: Hey, give me a break, this cranial deformity of mine has advantages like flight, but it also gives me an impaired memory.
  • Hynopa: (Sighs) Everyone, I must remind you that we are doing this because tragedy is our enemy. EVERYONE here has experienced it... Well, some of you. Caveman being a victim of an artificial evolution experiment gone awry, Hump here lost his home and his grand life due to a lawsuit over those savage flowers, Butch here because his pig had to be euthanized by law because of biting his employer, Steverio because he lost his magician master to some corrupt cops, Checkmate because she was just scared of being a loser, Marlin because he lost his wife over a case of self-defense against human game fishers, and Norton for being an unfortunate victim of chemical craziness. The rest of you, are in this for your own reasons.
  • Polar Captain: Yeah, yeah, Hynopa, we've been through this a dozen times. Just because you ended up losing hope when you tried to cure a loony, and went through something that would make Tarsem Singh sue you, and failure to try and rebuild his subconscious lead you here. We get it. But like you said, we're not ALL here because of tragedy. I'm just a quantonium mercenary who posed as a slushie-maker until those meddling kids lead by that filthy mimicker interfered. While Clucky here is still on and on about getting  even with a famous antihero thief because he got his worthless cousin in jail.
  • Cluck: (Points a blade at him) Do not EVER insult General Tsao in my presence, fool! I will make you regret it!
  • Polar Captain:... (Instantly freezes Cluck)...
  • Hynopa:... Really?
  • Polar Captain: Hey, I was just reminding him who he was pointing that blade at. Caveman, if you will?
  • Caveman: Oh boy! Ice breaking! KA-SMASH!!! (Takes out a club and bashes Cluck free from the ice)
  • Cluck:... GOD, that was cold!
  • Hynopa: Now then, I take it that you all have remembered your place in this team. As long as you are here, you will follow and respect my ways. We don't CAUSE tragedy, we prevent it however we can, even if it means we must go into antihero territory.
  • Polar Captain: I'm sorry to say that will be quite difficult for us. After all, you have invited villains in your little quest against tragedy. I did NOT join you just to make us all look like the Suicide Squad-
  • Hynopa: I do NOT need to be reminded that SOME of you have less then desireable goals in mind! But I respect that your not entirely mutually interested to my desires, but I don't respect those that wine and moan about my methods or don't get along with eachother! I didn't found the Tri-fecta of Misery so some of you can persue undesireable activities! Now I know this won't earn people's respect eitherway, given your individual reputations in the wake of socity failing to understand our misfortunes, or even failing to prevent it, or caused it in a way. I am aware of that, but if you WANT those tragedies to be reversed, then you simply have to comply with my wishes.
  • Steverio-Type: "We get it, we get it already."
  • Polar Captain: "Ya didn't had to interupt me."
  • Hynopa: "I already know what you were gonna get across, and it was no different then the last many OTHER compliants I've been given."
  • Polar Captain: "Well, why recruit me and the chicken here when you know that we're not THAT tragic. Heck, with me, it's karma-eqsed circumstances that some meddling brats and a group of over-rated enforcers ruined my business cause of some, "colorful" activities. And Cluckly's family were mainly a family of congurors, so it only makes sense they got unpopular for it, even if Tsao didn't ended up getting the worse wedding day ever."
  • Hynopa: "Perhaps they weren't universeally tragic, but they are to you two. You only wished to try to make a slushie empire, trying to persue a dream..... But it was robbed from you cause of mere teens and the Super Ops. And Master Cluck only wanted to restore his family's honor, even inspite that they have grown soft on the ideals of having control of china of their world."
  • The other villains began to agree more co-operatively after being reminded of the main goal.
  • Polar Captain: "...... When you think about it..... Perhaps some of us were being too nitpicky here. My bad. I still say what your doing is awesome to us, I only wanted to make sure you weren't getting too preachy here. I only wanted to make sure you remember that your still otherwsie-"
  • Hynopa: Yes, I am aware. However, you must still be careful with what you say. I am NOT trying to turn you all into some Suicide Squad-ripoffs here. I am simply helping you out on your tragedies. All that you have proposed seem to have quite the good potential... Well, it admitingly varies, but at least attempts are being made. But we need to ensure that it doesn't cause any tragedies. I mean, it's like time-travel. Plans have potential, but they must be balanced out, because actions have consequences that can affect things before and after the event. We need a plan to eliminate our troubles WITHOUT causing any further tragedies that COULD result in ANOTHER Trifecta of Misery.
  • Polar Captain: True as that may be, I kinda have to point out that, since we've formed, it's been QUITE impossible for us to find a plan that DOESN'T ruin others. 'Impossible' I'm only using as a non-excessive term.
  • Hynopa: I'm sure we'll find a flawless way to rid ourselves of tragedy all across the UUniverses. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if it even came RIGHT at our doorstep-
  • The Song "Misery Loves Company" played.
  • Viper Woman: "..... Remind me again why are doorbell's like that?"
  • Steverio-Type: "I question the idea of having a doorbell at all when we're supposed to be incognito over here."
  • Hynopa: "..... Caveman, Butch, scare off the intruders."
  • The brutish duo got up and left.

Outfront.

  • The Brutish duo bursted out, Caveman ready to club someone out while Butch is armed with his cleaver.
  • Nothing.
  • Caveman: ".... Darn! And I had my best rock puns ready."
  • Butch moaned annoyed at that.
  • Caveman: "Oh come on, they're not THAT bad, Butch."
  • Butch then looked down and pointed to the floor moaning.
  • Caveman looked down to see the coupon....
  • Caveman: "..... Ohhhhhhh..... Pretty squared leaves."

TOF meeting room.

  • Caveman and Butch returned.
  • Caveman: "Hynopa, I just found some pretty squared leaves with weird markings on it."
  • Lord Marlin: "...... Hold on a second there, (Takes the coupon.).... These aren't leaves you regressed fool! This isn't even in a correct number proportion to justify you calling it "leaves".... This, is a coupon."
  • Norton: "When did we get coupons?"
  • Polar Captain: "I don't think we're even at internet fame status to justify interest of Muggshotra."
  • Lord Marlin: "It's not Muggshotra. Trust me, the design interior of the coupon, it's too, feminate for that. Why it looks as if it wouldn't be out of place in G4 My Little Pony. Why, it's a coupon for a restaurent district in Equestia's extravigant city Canterlot."
  • Steverio-Type: "Equestia? Isn't that the same place holding the reforming monistairy?"
  • Checkmate: "Question is.... Why did it ended up here?"
  • Norton: "Ah, I bet it's just a stupid prank by some juvinal dilenquints."
  • Polar Captain: "Then explain on how they know where we are, Umbrella Man?"
  • Norton: "IT'S THE WEATHERMAN, YOU INCOMPLETE VERSON OF MY WEATHER POWERS?! SNOW'S FINE AND DANDY AND ALL, BUT I GOT THE FULL FORCE OF MOTHER NATURE, BABY?! SO DON'T YOU FORGET IT, YOU END RESULT OF A FICTIONAL FUEL SHORCE FROM A ONE-SHOT DREAMWORKS MOVIE?!"
  • Polar Captain: Don't care, Norton Hot Air seems like a pretty good enough name. Otherwise, people are just gonna confuse your name for what you ONCE were, an ACTUAL weather man for the news.
  • Norton: Say my real name one more time, tubby! See what happens!
  • Polar Captain: NORTON HOT AIR!
  • Norton: THAT DOES IT! (Prepares to summon a storm)
  • Hynopa: HEY! I SAID NO TRAGEDIES!!! Besides, I'm starting to think that 'Weatherman' here has just been doing NOTHING in his life but just CAUSING tragedies because he blames the news cast for not taking HIM seriously for his news mistakes, and he further pushes it by wishing to put his entire world into a Second Ice Age just as 'the ultimate goal'. There's NO room in MY Trifecta for someone like THAT because an act like THAT is one of the biggest tragedy-creators in the book.
  • Cluck:... I think the snake has a good point.
  • Hynopa: In fact, a LOT of you are doing the same. So, as much as you hate it, I must remind you again, because you have CLEARLY forgotten your places! When I say 'no tragedy', I MEAN 'NO TRAGEDIES'!!! So are you going to let me reverse YOUR OWN tragedies to save you the trouble of doing pointless pursuits that are bound to end either in failure by defeat, or by just getting bored among success, or are you just going to do it yourselves AND let it happen? Because I can assure you, I am doing ALL of you a big favor. You all are better off WITHOUT the unfortunate tragedies that occurred with you. So if you want to stay, THEN NO TRAGEDY!!! IS THAT CLEAR?!?
  • All Members:... Yes, mam!
  • Hynopa: Now then, let's all just take a deep breath, and look into what this coupon's are all about.
  • Polar Captain: "Well obviously enough, it's a otherwise worthless piece of paper good for a free meal in Canterlot's "Restaurent Row" of any restuarent you choose."
  • Viper Woman: "Well, it would seem kinda pointless to go considering who we are."
  • Norton: "(Sarcasticly) Now why would you think that?"
  • Viper Woman: Well, because-
  • Norton: (He cast lightning on her) BECAUSE IT IMPLIES THAT SOMEONE IS STUPIDLY INVITING US TO SOME DINNER WITH PINK AND PRETTY PONIES WHO ARE ALL GUMDROPS AND FRIENDSHIP!! THAT'S ALL THOSE PONIES EVER THINK OF!! FRIENDSHIP THIS, FRIENDSHIP THAT, FRIENDS DON'T GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF THEIR FRIENDLY FRIENDSHIP, FRIENDSHIP CAN HEAL ANYBODY, FRIENDS ARE THE BEST THING YOU CAN HAVE, FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIEND-FRIIIIEEENNNDDD!!! (Takes deep breaths that end up turning into breezes and everyone was shocked)... Well, NO! I REFUSE to expose myself to those colorful pastel ponies! You know why? Because Dora the Explorer, The Care Bears, the Teletubbies, The Cabbage Patch Kids, The Smurfs, Barbie, Pound Puppies, Rainbow Bright, Strawberry Shortcake, Barney the Dinosaur, All the High School Musicals, Jem, AND THE GODDAMN GETALONG GANG ARE F******... BUTCH compared to them! AND THE FACT THAT SO MANY MEN LIKE THEM HAVE MADE EVERYBODY LOSE SO MUCH PERCENTAGE OF THEIR MASCULINITY!!! AND FURTHERMORE-
  • Viper Woman smacks Norton in the head with her tail!
  • Viper Woman: "I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE VILLAINS AND THAT RESTAURENTS NOT UNDER MUGGSHOTRA'S CONTROL WON'T CATER TO US!?"
  • Norton: "(Dazed) I was gonna get to that myself after another 20 minutes of mean spirited rants."
  • Hynopa: Now, now, Norton, you know better than to judge people by their choice of entertainment or anything else. In some cases, it makes you look bigoted and unlikeable. Heck, your actselly being worse then the villain who's name's a play on Steriotypes!
  • Steverio: Yeah. I mean, for God's sake, you've got a cranial deformity, and we don't judge YOU for that, and not just because you've got the power to back it up.
  • Norton: Well, I still say we are NOT going there! I mean, I've heard rumors that ANYONE who goes there gets sucked into their cuteness and charm so much, it turns them into even MORE of those crazy people who have COMPLETELY lost their balls and had them replaced with c***s by watching that show. IT'S INFECTIOUS!!!
  • Cluck:... Wow... And I thought MY people were so judging to women.
  • Hynopa: Okay, Norton, first of all, that's just a nasty rumor from some anti-brony troll who thinks people should be ashamed of what they're watching JUST because it's meant for the opposite gender. And what you say around here DOESN'T go, because I am the leader. And I say that there is NOTHING wrong with what those ponies do. I am however do say that there's simply something wrong. Perhaps it's just some nasty anti-brony fanatic who wants us to do significant damage to their homeworld because he feels embarrassed to be among bronies by tricking us into a situation where they play dumb and TEMPT us to go crazy. Well, CLEARLY, we are NOT that kind of villain team. We do what we do BECAUSE we don't want bad things to happen to good people. I solemnly swore the day I founded this place that I would use ALL my power to undo the cruel truths about reality, and I will NEVER forsake such an oath by destroying a harmless world. So we are going there to clear something up WITHOUT any violence. And I mean ALL of you! No violence, no negitive reactions, no telling others what to do by simply leveraging them with your powers. If I even SMELL the SLIGHTEST whiff of smoke during our trip, whoever did it can FORGET my deal of making sure your lives are fixed as you have proved that you PREFER to be who you are, and joining my team was no big deal for you. (The members worried) So, do I make myself PERFECTLY clear about the laws of this trip?
  • All Members:... Yes, ma'am!
  • Hynopa: Very good. Now let us get ready.

Gourmand Manor.

  • Gourmand kept her usual sofisicated face.
  • Wind Rider: "...... OH GREAT!? WE INCLUDED WHAT'S ASSENTUALLY THE SUEISIDE SQUAD TAKEN TO A LOGICAL EXTREME!?"
  • Svengallop: "And it's a pity, too. I figured that at least the likes of the caveman and the butcher would do a great deal of damage!"
  • Dr. Eureka: "Their lack of effectiveness is the least of our concerns. Likely those lot would seek out the shorce of the coupons, and since Hynopa is clearly the peace keeper, even the likes of that provocitive weather controling mutant won't even so much as do serious damage. That means they'll focus on seeking US out."
  • Zesty: ".... Well, I suppose three out of 4 isn't bad. But it wouldn't hurt to make sure the Tri-Fecta are kept pre-occupied."
  • Svengallop: "We could always provoke the least obedient to disobey the order and then commit violence."
  • Zesty: "No no, then that would risk that leader of there's to get suspitious."
  • Svengallop: "Fair point. How's about we make it look as if that the Tri-Fecta's coupon was sent by an anti-Reforming Monistairy critic that wants to use the Tri-Fecta to get rid of the reformed villains there?"
  • Zesty: "That's also not any less riskier. That superior snake clearly looks like someone who won't be fooled by a pretender...."
  • Wind Rider: "..... What if, we used the real thing?"
  • Zesty: "...... Are you suggesting that we ruined such a critic's credability, just to make sure the Tri-Fecta don't seek us out!?"
  • Wind Rider: "Hey it's not like anyone likes those anti-monistairy critics anyway."
  • Zesty: "Your asking me to sacrivice a critic's reputation here!"
  • Svengallop: "Ironic since your the same one who asked for a museum to be burned to the ground."
  • Zesty: ".... I see the irony."
  • Dr. Eureka: "But in all fairness, yes, I do understand why your relucent. Ruining a fellow critic's name is possability the last thing you want to do. But consider this.... The Alternative is to let the Tri-fecta find us, which in turn, in cause of miss Hynopa's anti-tragity views, will very well exposed us to everyone, the villains included, just to prevent a tragity. In this cause, it's a matter of surviveal vs. valuement of a fellow critic."
  • Zesty: "..... You brought a good point Doctor, but here's our problem. I read about Hynopa, and she's not an easy one to trick. She will be able to sense alterations in a person's mind. She'll quickly think that something's up. It'll have to be done by a spell so strong and magicly indetectiable, not even a superior of her calibar would sense it."
  • Happy got anxious as the trio looked at her.
  • Svengallop: "..... Miss Happy..... Do you happen to know an undetectable mind-warp spell?"
  • Happy: "...... Just, the infamous and rare Change-Heart's Method, a spell that can warp a pony's mind into believing that it's exactly like something they would do on their own."
  • Wind Rider: "Well there you go! Use that spell on an anti-monistairy critic and use the idiot to lead the Tri-Fecta away from us and to bother someone else!"
  • Happy: "But, is it really fair to ruin a critic's life just because even if it's to protect ourselves?"
  • Zesty: "Happy dear, I bare no fondness for this too, but, we can't risk the Tri-Fecta exposing us."
  • Happy: "Well what's wrong with just letting them find you and for you to explain your own tragity and win them over to play along?!"
  • Wind Rider:... That's a good point, WHY don't we just convince them to join us? I mean, COME ON, isn't what YOU'RE into a sign of tragedy?
  • Zesty: You KNOW why that can't be so! If I told them what I am planning, they'll just assume I'm doing ALL this stuff out of revenge. They see acts of revenge as a sure-fire way to CREATE tragedy, which they CLEARLY stated they are trying to prevent. If we simply tried to ask them to help, they wouldn't do that at all. Instead, they would force US to help THEM, seeing us as ponies who CLEARLY need their tragedies reversed. They would get ALL the heroes and villains informed of our plans before we could do anything, and we'll LOSE EVERYTHING!!! They are NOT going to just comply with our demands because they KNOW it will make others suffer. THIS IS OUR ONLY OPTION, AND YOU KNOW IT!!
  • Wind Rider: Oh, SURE, as if her followers aren't in their OWN quests for revenge as it is. I mean, they STILL seek to do what they wish, and yet they choose to join a tragedy-phobic whiner.
  • Svengallop: Hey, if you're familiar with villainy by now, they CLEARLY know that doing the same thing over and over and NEVER succeeding because people are ALWAYS going to stand in their way and will ALWAYS win is going to get old until they come crying back to Hynopa later, and even then, she won't give them a second chance THAT easily. That snake CLEARLY looks like the reptile that NEVER offers a second chance. CLEARLY these villains don't wanna be like the three villain teams and waste their technically-immortal lives by doing the same damn thing over and over and over and over AND OVER AGAIN! Really, a person like Hynopa would be an extinction of villainy just waiting to happen.
  • Wind Rider:...Yeah...that's a good point. WHICH MEANS NO VILLAINY AND NO US!!! This Hynopa has GOT to go! Say, boss, you think it's a good idea to ask the three villain teams to-
  • Zesty: ABSOLUTELY NOT! Hynopa is NOT an easy opponent. From what I read about her as soon as she was brought up, she is one of the telepathic Superiors. And I have heard about SO MANY telepaths who could make the bravest of opponents become telepathically-erased brain-dead vegetables, or Celestia forbid, have their heads blow up, often in a matter to what my daughter would do. In fact, that's ANOTHER thing. Hynopa would read my daughter's mind, and KNOW that it's a good way to leverage us into surrendering.
  • Svengallop: HORSES***! If she did that, that would just make her a hypocrite! You're saying that she would prevent the tragedies we're about to cause BY COMMITTING A TRAGEDY!!!
  • Zesty: The purpose of her Trifecta is to prevent tragedies EVEN if it violates her code of honor. She's willing to sacrifice ANYTHING, including her own dedication and cause, if it means preventing MANY MORE tragedies. It won't matter if it makes her a hypocrite, if it means she fulfills her goal, she WILL do it. She sees it as a way of 'fighting fire with fire'. If she slithers her way into this Manor, and if she discovers my daughter's weakness, we lose! We're done! There's nothing we can do about it. We CANNOT give her that chance very easily. I'm sorry to say this to all of you, but we MUST do this. It's the only way.
  • Happy: I think all of you may have a point. I agree that Hynopa can easily defeat us, but I ALSO agree that a person like her being discovered by heroes can CLEARLY be potential to them. If they even LEARN that a person with HER potential exists, then that could be used to PURGE the UUniverses of villainy. If she is dedicated to prevent tragedies, then any hero would wanna use her to their potential.
  • Zesty: While I can agree that such a figure is a risk to villain-kind, I'm afraid that what I am doing is a one-time thing. After this, I shall no longer commit ANY villainous deed. This is all to save our lives and our reputations. I am NOT a full-time villain, and I could care less if Hynopa was used by heroes to purge villainy. But even so, Hynopa KNOWS what a person like her can do. She views people using her for greater gain, right or not, as a disgraceful act. She serves nobody but herself. She would NEVER allow herself to purge villainy because it's too easy a move for people to make. She seeks to only do her job until the day she dies. She wishes to minimize villainy so that it allows the destruction they caused to heal. She is NOT at all a villain.... Well, at least, not one of conventional means. She is at best an anti-villain who knows that if villainy was purged for good, then heroes who live their LIVES being heroes and nothing more, or even her, would have no purpose. To her, good and evil exist in a continuum, and if you purge one side, the other will fall as well, leaving PLENTY of time for the other side to come back more powerful than ever, and it would take Celestia knows how long for heroism to heal. She has an elaborate way of doing her jobs, and has a code of rules to abide by. She knew that EVEN before the tragedy that made her this way. So your fears about her being used is not worth it. What IS worth it is that she must NOT cause trouble for us. So, are you going to accept that this is all we can do, or are you going to just stand there like dummies and wait for those laughing lunatics to beat you LIKE said dummies?
  • All 3 Ponies: (Look at each other)
  • Svengallop: Very well, Ms. Gourmand, you make a very slim, but very good point.
  • Happy: (Sighs) I'm still not happy about this either.
  • Dr. Eureka: "I know Happy. I know framing some critic is not an ideal move, but it's our only choice...."
  • Happy: "..... Can..... Can it at least be an anti-monistairy critic that no one wouldn't be too surprise would do something like this?"
  • Zesty: "Oh, I know PLENTLY of critics of that calibar like that. But the best one by far, is this critic not even allined to the Critic's Union. An Indie loudmouth jackass from surprisingly the sofisicated side of Manehatten named, fittingly enough, Trash-Mouth."
  • The trio and happy laughed at this!
  • Wind Rider: "(Laughs)! HOW DOES ANYONE TAKE A GUY LIKE THAT SERIOUSLY WITH A NAME LIKE THAT?!"
  • Zesty: "They don't, but not solely for the name alone. His Anti-Monistairy beliefs lead him to also gain a rather unflattering hatred torwords the Princesses. And, he's has been known to give the Monistairy some trouble before. Why, he even has made attempts of attacking the place with outsider help, mainly from mercenaires like those Thugs-4-Less brutes. Making him want to think that he'll include the Tri-Fecta of misery is well believeable enough to ponies that they won't even attempt to question it. And even on the off chance he's proven innosent, he still has an outstanding warrent for Black Staillian Containment anyway because of his MANY prior trouble-making. So you my dear Happy, won't feel too bad ruining somepony already broken anyway."
  • Happy:... Well, I sure hope so. And I still hope I get used to doing this to an albeit controversial critic that hasn't been that revered since the father of one of the Elements of Peace.
  • Zesty: Don't worry, honey, you'll do JUST fine.

Elsewhere In manehatten.

  • A Luxery Tower, a pudgey well-dressed earth pony staillian sees the Monistairy from afar in the Manehatten river.
  • Staillian: "..... Bother....... I can't stand the existence of the Monistairy for the life of me. I, Trash-Mouth, can't believe these kind of indignities even exist."
  • Trash-Mouth then turns to his lounger and rests.
  • Trash-Mouth: "One of these days, I will bring down the Monistairy, even if it kills me."
  • ???: (On intercom) Uh, sir, the Princess of Friendship wishes to see you.
  • Trash-Mouth: WHAT?!? What for?
  • ???: (On intercom) I'm pretty sure you won't like the answer.
  • Trash-Mouth:... Bring them in. I'm sure I can clear this up.

Later...

  • Trash-Mouth: YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF WHAT?!?
  • Rainbow Dash: Don't play dumb! We've heard for YEARS that you've wanted the Monastery destroyed.
  • Trash-Mouth: What could I POSSIBLY hope to gain from destroying not only a bunch of measly restaurants, but also the First National Bank AND the Museum?!?
  • Twilight: Well, we have evidence proving that you have been trying to frame Zesty Gourmand for an attempted insurance fraud. (Magically shows him evidence) We've been examining clues since we started getting an idea that SOMEPONY, perhaps a vengeful restaurant owner, would wanna make her look bad. But as all the clues we got so far lead us nowhere, we found an INTERESTING piece of evidence that suggests it was not a restaurant owner, but a CRITIC!
  • Trash-Mouth: (Laughs) Pardon my possible treasonous words, Princess, but that's gotta be the DUMBEST excuse to pin such a crime on me. I may be an albeit frowned-upon critic, but I was NEVER among the Critics Union because THEY hated me just as much as any other pony. What could I possibly hope to gain by making a pitiful food critic look like a vengeful criminal?
  • Rarity: "You tell us! You're the criminal mastermind here!"
  • Trash-Mouth: "OH?! OH-HO-HO!? Well then ladies. If I'm the so called "Criminal Mastermind", then where are my alien otherworldly followers to commence another Monistairy attack as everything else was nothing more then a distraction? Don't you think they should've, oh I don't know, be here by now ambushing you 7?"
  • ???: "THE, CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN?!"
  • The Caveman body-slamed through he celing and nearly body-slamed the Main 7 had not been for Starlight's quick thinking!
  • Trash-Mouth: "WHAT THE, HOW IN THE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD- WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!"
  • Caveman: "Hey don't go rockhead on me. Hynopa's just following your invitation to rid Equestia of the reforming monistairy guys. You do want to basicly give those guys to us."
  • Trash-Mouth: "WHAT!? I DID NO SUCH- (Looks like he's in a sudden stuper, as suddenly, apawn now thinking everything was his fault, he also gains false memories of everything being his doing.)....... Aw who am I kidding, the blasted brats found me out anyway. THANKS ALOT EXPOSING ME LIKE THAT, ROCKHEAD?!"
  • Caveman: "Your welcome..... Oh wait, that wasn't suppose to be complimentary, right?"
  • Trash-Mouth: "OF COURSE NOT, IDIOT?! You pretty much ruined my perfect plan!? The framing of Zesty Gourmand and the bank robbery and museum arson was for nothing!? Ugh, ya, ya know what, just get me out of here so I can at least see the magnifisent fall of the Reforming Monistairy ALL BUT FOR GOOD, BEFORE I WIND-UP IN THE BLACK STAILLIAN ASYLUM!?"
  • Caveman: "Kay then. (Grabs Trash-Mouth) THE-"
  • Trash-Mouth: "WAIT WAIT WAIT, NOT THROUGH THIS-"
  • Caveman leaped up and shouting "Caveman" loudly as he starts jumping up and down like the Halk's traveling sytile as Trash-Mouth was heard screaming like a girl!
  • The Main 7 stared in shock....
  • Spike: "....... Ok, even for the standerds of inconsistent writing, THAT WAS WAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO EASY?! And didn't Trash-Mouth looked like he was gonna deny everything before he went into what looked like some kind of stuper and just, accepted it?"
  • Starlight: I know. It's strange. But at least we found out quickly. But first, WHAT IN ALL OF CELESTIA'S KINGDOM WAS THAT!?
  • Fluttershy: He looked like an Neanderthal. Wow, I know these UUniverses are in different time periods, but you NEVER get to see THESE creatures around. They seem to be quite misunderstood compared to their more-intelligent evolutionary cousins.
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, I say he needs to be deported BACK to whatever Paleolithic world he came from.
  • Fluttershy: "The weirdest thing is..... He didn't talked like a Neanderfal...... On the account that, they aren't suppose to talk."
  • Rarity: "..... That did seem rather queer."
  • Twilight: "I think it's time we alarm the princess about this."
  • The Main 7 ran off as Happy was hidden from this was watching.

Gourmand Manor

  • Zesty: EXCELLENT WORK, HAPPY! I'm so proud of you!
  • Happy: It actually wasn't that hard. I just did a few tweaks by implanting evidence that pinned Trash-Mouth for the crime.
  • Zesty: Yes, but... I might have to bring something up... YOU JUST MIND-WARPED TRASH-MOUTH INTO ADMITTING GUILT!!! Didn't I make it PERFECTLY clear that I only wished to do that ONCE?!?
  • Happy:... Okay, seriously, wasn't it the idea for him to look like he was guilty?! I mean, seriously, ruining his life is one thing even when we KNOW would get him thrown into the black staillian asylum anyway, but doing something to further confirm it so it's not to arose suspition? I mean, come on, YOU TALKED ME INTO IT?!
  • Dr. Eureka: "Seriously, no offence Miss Zesty, but you asked for Trash-Mouth to look like he was suppose to look guilty! I mean, if your daughter didn't do that, then Trash-Mouth would've ended up consisently innosent and when taken to court, the Princesses would've discovered that it wasn't him after all, which would've lead to the Tri-Fecta discovering, then it would've lead to the heroes and villains discovering, THEN WE'D be the ones in trouble!"
  • Zesty: "...... Well, when you bring that up, I.... Well, no wonder people hate magic enfic critics. If you left Trash-Mouth alone to try and explain everything, then.... We would've been ruined..... Ok, I suppose, I'll let it slide. My, apologies for being ungrateful, Happy. I didn't mean it."
  • Happy: It's okay, mother.
  • Zesty: However, I must ask that we be careful with how we do this plan. Let's avoid trying to do another mind-warp as much as we can. It really HURTS me that we have to use those kinds of spells.
  • Dr. Eureka: Eh, we may not even have to, Ms. Gourmand. So far, we seem to be winning because the three villains' ships have arrived.
  • Zesty: Well, that's good. By the time they arrive, it will be FAR too late. But we must STILL be cautious about this. We must keep our other accomplices around and watching for any suspicion. You never know when things can suddenly go downhill fast.

Restaurent Row.

  • The Tasty Treat is seen as omnimus shadows rose over the restaurent.
  • The door slammed open to reveil the leagers, to everyone's gasping surprise!
  • Coriander: "(Shrill) YIKES?! (Hides behind the counter)!"
  • Saffron: "(Though intimidated, she kept the bravest face she had)...... Hello, weary, and infamous, travelers. To, what I owe the, unexpected visit?"
  • Cobra: "I trust you own this back alley shack?"
  • Saffron: "Co-owned, actselly. But since father's too..... Cautious of your presence, I'll, have to be the one who settles any would-be issues."
  • Cobra: "Oh, and such a would-be issue we have here! You see, someone has sent a coupon to any restaurent of our choosing in all of Restaurent Row.... Now, you can spare us the details on how certain poloices forbid service to us, cause we're not interested in-"
  • Foop: "(Holding a menu) Yes, I would like the Cumin Special with the finest "Elephant Land" Spices!"
  • Etemon: "(Holding a menu) Yeah I would like the Tomato Spice Villa Taj'Mahal Speicel!"
  • Zira: "(Holding a menu) Oh, I'll take the sweet and sour speical!"
  • Durnal: " (Holding a menu) You got's frog legs?"
  • Prince John: "(Holding a menu) Well this is uncouth. They have no MEAT here!"
  • Dr. Facilier: "(Holding a menu) Well this IS a vegatarian socity, moron! That being said though, it'd be nice if they served Louisiana gumbo here or Popeye's Chicken."
  • Dr. Blowhole: "(Holding a Menu) Is it possable to ask for a speically concerning fish?"
  • Cobra: "(Face-palms!)"
  • Chrysalis: "..... Idiots."
  • Junjie: "WHAT'RE YOU IMBACILES DOING?! WE'RE HERE ON OFFICTAL BUSINESS!?"
  • Foop: "Hey just because SOME people desided to work on vacation, doesn't mean the rest of us have to."
  • Cobra: "..... AS, I WAS SAYING!?....... SOME OF US, WHO WANT TO TAKE THIS MISSION SERIOUSLY, Are NOT, here to partake any mealeries here. We suspect that we were summoned here by a racist pony cause of a wanted Changeling Defecter he/she wanted to be chased out, of which we're happy to obliged to this particular pony's desires."
  • Saffron: "Well, if you actselly think that, then, I'm sorry to say, if there was such a pony, your looking at the wrong place. All of Canterlot loves Thorax, and-"
  • Chrysalis: "WHAT?!"
  • Chrysalis gets twicthy mad as angry sounding bug sounds are heard!
  • Cobra: "Calm down, Chryly..... Care to explain WHY that is a thing? Last time I check when we came to seek out Thorax on our own, there was at least a now ex-non-native-duke who hated him with a passion!"
  • Saffron: "That pony was nothing more then the minority who I'm sure had his own reasons. Desteny has done well enough to discourage any of who would have a problem with a repenting changeling. So, likely, you all have came all this way for nothing."
  • Foop: "Well, too bad, so sad, Queenie Cacoonie, you lost out on getting what you want again. Now can we PLEASE get our orders?"
  • Coriander: "(Finally toughens up when there was no imeditate danger when he remembered the insurence) I almost hate to be bearer of bad news, villains, but, (Points to a rule sign) we reserved the right to refuse service to villains by decree of royal law! So like my daughter said, you guys wasted your time here. Now, we'll be kind enough to not let Celestia know about this if you all pack up and leave peacefully."
  • Foop: "WHAT!? BUT THAT'S NO FAIR?! (BRINGS UP THE COUPON!?) WE HAVE A COUPON!?"
  • Saffron: "Have any of you considered that maybe it was a prank by local riffraff, and that the coupon could be fake?"
  • Silence.....
  • Cobra: "..... Jafar, test the coupon for legitimentcy!"
  • Jafar: (Checks their origin with his powers, and because it was obscured by Happy, it tells a different and false story)... Seems pretty legitimate. This thing was sent to us by you.
  • Coriander/Saffron: WHAT?!?
  • Cobra: You heard him. And like we said, apart from a few of us that FAILED to take this seriously, we came here NOT because of this lousy meal that we already knew was impossible to gain, but we were searching for whoever brought this coupon to us. So, I must ask you, if YOU didn't send them... THEN WHO DID?!?
  • Saffron: To be as honest as possable, we don't know! But still, you can't get any cuisine here. Seems like Mugshotra is the only place in the UUniverses that will serve you guys. So, if you wish to look for the REAL culprit, then could you PLEASE not bring your problems to us?
  • Jafar: Request NOT granted! What I saw on how this coupon originated tells me that YOU'RE responsible.
  • Coriander: CLEARLY it was lying to you.
  • Jafar:... You DARE to falsify my powers, you wretched equine?!
  • Coriander turns cowerd again as he yelped!
  • Coriander: "I-I-I-I-I didn't meant it like THAT! I'm, I'm sure your magic senses are superior, and never mislead you, but, maybe the senses themselves can be mislead?"
  • Jafar: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY LESS INSULTED THEN WHAT I FIRST ASSUMED?! MY SENSES NEVER LIE, NOR CAN THEY BE MISLEAD!!! I AM A SEMI-GENIE AT BEST! SO, ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE US ANSWERS, OR DO WE HAVE TO DESTROY THIS RESTAURANT, AND YOURSELVES, IN THE PROCESS?!?
  • Saffron:... I thought genies couldn't kill.
  • Jafar: Well, you'd be surprised what you can live through. So, last chance, ANSWERS!
  • Coriander:... (Gulps)
  • Cobra:... I see. Your speechlessness has proven that this is nothing more than a big joke. Now whether or not this was your doing or a really imapprobeate customer is debatable. But the ultamate fact is, this coupon came from you. THEREFORE, YOU ARE TO BLAME FOR THIS INSULLT TO OUR TIME, PATEHNCE, RESHORCES, AND OUR PREFERENCE TO NOT COME HERE WITHOUT A PROVEN PROPER REASON?! WE VILLAINS DO NOT TAKE JOKES LIKE THIS! YOU THINK THIS IS APRIL FOOLS' DAY?!? WELL, SORRY, SEVERAL MONTHS TOO LATE, JACKASS!!! SO, AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR INSOLENCE, YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR LIVES, PHYSICAL OR OTHERWISE!
  • Coriander: "..... Free meals?"
  • Cobra: "......... You first, tubby."

Outside.

  • The Tasty Treat suddenly cartoonishly explouds as maniacal, villianious laughter is heard as Saffron, Coriander, and the customers are sent running away or flying as the restaurent is seen being wrecked!
  • Elsewhere in Restaurent Row, Team Nefarious and the Scourge Imperials pretty much did the exact same things as restaurents are being torn apart!
  • Fancy Pants and Fluer sees this.
  • Fancy: ".... What in the world of Equestia? Seriously? Another villain team attack? And it's ALL of them?! In Restaurent Row? And just when I thought the universes were gonna settle down after the Deer-A-Nator Resserection Fiasco. Now this?"
  • The Main 7 came by and stared shocked in what is going on!
  • Rarity: ".... As Sweetie Belle would've said..... OH, COME ON?!"
  • Applejack: I-I don't understand! I thought we CAUGHT the culprit!
  • Twilight: Maybe Trash-Mouth called them before we caught him.
  • ???: Who is this 'Trash-Mouth'? (Cobra and the other villains arrived)
  • Fluttershy:... Meep!
  • Twilight:... He's the guy who sent you those coupons there.
  • Jafar:... And why would he do THAT?
  • Twilight: Well, at first, we thought it was Zesty Gourmand, but after the First National Bank was robbed and the Museum was destroyed as we tried to find out if it WAS her, we asked the restaurant owners to see if it was any vengeful ones against her, then... We mysteriously discovered it was Trash-Mouth, a critic against the Monastery.
  • Cobra:... Let me get this straight... You assumed it was a lousy food critic... Despite your investigations CAUSING THE ROBBING AND THE DESTRUCTION OF TWO PLACES IN THIS DIRTY TOWN?!?
  • Foop: Sheesh, was it NOT obvious to you all that MAYBE it was that dirty bitch who did it? I mean, come on, if it WASN'T her, would those places be destroyed?
  • Applejack: Perhaps Trash-Mouth didn't want her to claim innocence so easily.
  • Junjie: The cowpony's got you there, Mang.
  • Cobra: (Sighs) Alright, good point. Where is this 'Trash-Mouth' you speak of? He needs to learn that we villains will NOT tolerate being used for whatever dirty scheme desired.
  • Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you KNOW we can't let you hurt him. Besides, he was pretty much taken by some crazy English-speaking Neanderthal, and-
  • Cobra: WAIT!... Did you say 'English-speaking Neanderthal'?
  • Rainbow Dash:... Yes?
  • Dr. Blowhole:... He didn't happen to yell 'CAAAAAAAAAAVVVVEEMMAAAAAAAAAAANN', did he?
  • Rarity: Like a stoned moron, yes. (The villains looked at each other)... Why, do you guys know him?
  • Cobra:... The Trifecta of Misery is in town.
  • Starlight: The Trifecta of what now?
  • Maleficent: To put it shortly, they are an anti-villain group lead by some Superior telepathic snake who wishes to reverse tragedy itself after she ended up lobotomizing a mental psycho trying to restore him to sanity. We have heard that this 'Neanderthal' you speak of, The Caveman by name, and the result of a Futurasian human guinea pig mixed up by an artificial evolution experiment gone wrong, had joined just to reverse his ailment.
  • Applejack:... So this snake wishes to fix tragedy by reversing those of villains?
  • Starlight: And how exactly do you KNOW them?
  • Cobra: At this point, all 3 of us villain teams know them, and DESPERATELY wish to avoid them AND their leader. So, yeah, everyone, we MAY have to abort our destructive discipline on this place.
  • Foop: BUT WE JUST GOT HERE!!!
  • Cobra: You know how dangerous the Trifecta is to the villain community, Foop! Hynopa is NOT a good person to provoke or fight. Her telepathy is equal in strength to Mewtwo. I'd would prefer to not be around here. If Caveman's any indication, those cross-morality psycos are likely already here and after the Monistairy!
  • Dark Dragon: "HOLD UP, HOLD UP!? The Tri-Fecta's here?!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "THE TRI-FECTA'S HERE!?"
  • Cobra: "..... Well that escalated quickly. Yes they are, appearently thanks to the Reforming Monistairy's worse critic, the so-far current shorce of our coupons!"
  • Mercurymon: "Oh, of all the indie villains, it had to be THEM!?"
  • Dr. Doofinshirts: "I heard of those guys. I have a hard time time to tell if they're good evil or bad evil or just....... Inbetween Evil."
  • Cobra: "WORSE THEN THAT!? They're anti-hero/anti-villain/Sueiside Squad Inspirations taken to a logical extreme! AND THEN BEYOND THAT?! UNLESS YOU WISH TO FEEL THAT CRAZY SNAKE'S WRATH, I ADVISE WE GET OUT OF HERE?!"
  • Spike: "Wait wait wait, aren't you guys gonna at least-"
  • The Villains teleported away!
  • Spike: "...... Stick around to make amends....."
  • Applejack: "Don't be too disappointed, Spike. It's only natural for those vermin to turn tail and ran the minute things sound like there's something worse then them."
  • Fluttershy: "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w, Why was even The Leage so afraid of the Trifecta?"
  • Starlight: "If they are, then.... Yikes.... If even all three villain teams are scared poopless of this "Tri-Fecta", then they don't sound like something we wanna face alone. We're diffently gonna need help with this."
  • Pinkie: "Well luckly, the Lodgers are about ready to head to the Reforming Monistairy to set Vambi there, so asking for help isn't an issue."
  • Rainbow Dash: "But........ SO IS THE TRI-FECTA?! AND MANG SAID THEY'RE ALREADY HERE IF THAT CAVEMAN WAS AN INDICATION!?"
  • Twilight: "....... Meep."
  • Rarity: "WE GOT TO GET TO CELESTIA AND WARN THEM?!"

Later...

  • Celestia: (She is preparing for the Nightmare Night Festival as the decorations are quite realistic and impressive)... Excellent work. We need this festival this year. After an exhausting few months, I REALLY needed some Gala-style entertainment.
  • Luna: (Comes in) Sister! I have urgent news!
  • Celestia:... What is it?
  • Luna: Apparently, I was going to the bank to get a few more finances in my account to pay for the last decorations we need, but when I went there... It was robbed and closed down!
  • Celestia: ROBBED?! BY WHO?!?
  • Luna: Let's just say it was by the Canterlot Backside Gangs, but they threaten the Vice-Manager to not reveil why, or personal bank records for some, weird reason. Can you believe a bank in Canterlot was robbed, DISPITE MIKE ROE'S PRESENCE!?
  • Celestia:... But... But I thought he was good at defending that bank.
  • Luna: It's true. Now it appears that, without my account, we MAY have to put this Festival on hold.
  • Celestia:... But, that would mean..... Nightmare Night is ruined!
  • Luna: You think THAT's bad? Apparently, the Museum has been burned to the ground, AND Restaurant Row has suffered MASSIVE amounts of damage.
  • Celestia: Damage!? By who?!
  • Luna: "..... The Villain Teams, for, yet to be proven reasons."
  • Celestia: OH, CONFOUND IT!!! THE POSTPONING OF THIS FESTIVAL WAS BAD ENOUGH, NOW THEY HAD TO SHOW UP?!? (Sighs) Why wasn't I told?
  • Luna: "Well, that's, another thing.... The Ponies respondsable to alarming you, mysteriously vanished. It was like.... They were kidnapped."
  • Celestia:... (Sighs) I guess the Bronies are right. My military su..... In my own words, my forces are proven, ineffectent. (Sighs) If only Shining Armor was blended between himself and our LAST captain, then they wouldn't be failing anything as easy as stabbing a dummy.
  • Luna: (Sighs) Yes, it is unfortunate. But don't worry, we can still have the Festival. Hopefully, this will be cleared in time for the holiday.
  • Celestia: I hope so. I've been looking forward to this since August. And by the way, where are Twilight and her friends? They should've been in Canterlot by now.
  • Luna: Oh, they said they were going to stop at the Tasty Treat the last time I heard from them. I can assume that, given the chaos that's been going on, they've been quite busy. By now, they might just come RUNNING to the door to say-
  • Twilight: (They burst in) YOUR HIGHNESS, THERE IS A TERRIBLE CRISIS!
  • Luna:... Right on cue.
  • Celestia:... I take it you all have noticed the danger going on?
  • Applejack:... Yeah... Did YOU just notice it?
  • Celestia: Well, I was kinda busy with royal paperwork, many of which were meant to put this festival up. Sorry.
  • Starlight:... Well... Oddly enough, that's not all we came to talk about. Apparently, this whole thing started when we discovered that Restaurant Row NEVER got any villain insurance because of some connection mistake by someone named 'McCram'. Then we assumed it was Zesty Gourmand who was doing this, and we tried going to the Bank AND the Museum for answers, but they ended up ravaged before we could get there.
  • Celestia:... Was it not obvious that it COULD'VE been her?
  • Twilight: Well, apparently, we discovered that it was that critic Trash-Mouth after constantly asking restaurant after restaurant to see if any of them were vengeful enough to frame her for something involving insurance. Then, when we confronted Trash-Mouth in his office, then-
  • Rainbow Dash: Then he was dragged off by some crazy Neanderthal which we just discovered from the three villain teams was a member of this 'Trifecta of Misery' team that ended up mysteriously scaring the villains off. We figured this would be a good time to let you know.
  • Celestia:... Well... Actually, this IS quite concerning. But I don't think Trash-Mouth of all ponies could've been responsible for this, not that I would put these kind of stunts past him. All HE was after was the Monastery. He would CLEARLY have nothing to gain out of framing Ms. Gourmand. Did you even ask what he was hoping to gain?
  • Pinkie: Actually, HE asked US, and Rarity was all 'I don't know, you tell us, YOU'RE the criminal mastermind!'. Then The Caveman came in and took the guy.
  • Rarity:... Really, Pinkie?
  • Pinkie: Well, you did!
  • Celestia:... (Sighs) Well, if you're GOING to get the answers you need, then you need to retrieve Trash-Mouth so he can give them to you. But I must warn you, getting him will NOT be easy given the fact that the Trifecta of Misery is involved.
  • Starlight: Oh, and that's another thing. What IS the Trifecta of Misery?
  • Celestia:... It's a long story.... I know of them through Shen, in an event trouble arises from when his never flinching eye ends up not noticing so is to prevent us being left vulerable to a problem.

Flashback

  • (Celestia): The Trifecta has been around for quite a while. It's leader, whose known as Hynopa, is a Superior from Kratos who has been through quite a tragedy. She was a therapeutic telepath who treated the psychotic and the distraught through their own subconscious, and she knew a thing or two about the concept of good and evil since she was basically exposed to it all her life. However, then came the day when she took it upon herself to try and cure a single deranged maniac by drawing in his innocent side. And thus, she used her powers to enter her mind. What followed was... Unspeakable. (Surreal imagery similar in tone to The Cell was seen, only kept as child-friendly as possible)... What she saw was too much for even her, and she was too lost to even know what to do. I don't know the full detail of what she experienced because I never met her nor looked into her mind to see what she saw, but she claimed that she was kidnapped and held hostage by the sadistic side of the patient. She went through, what she described as, quote 'a blend between The Cell, Saw, Inception, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, and Sin City'. It was so horrifying to see for even her mentally-experienced mind. She tried to fight off the sadistic side, but in self-defense, she killed the sadistic side, only to realize that when she kills the sadistic side, she wipes out others INCLUDING the innocent side she was searching for. As a result, the patient was permanently lobotomized and turned into a telepathically-erased vegetable. It was painful to her. She suggested trying to restore the patient through building a new conscience for him, but her employers turned her down, opting to put the broken being, out of his misery instead. Filled with grief and ruin, Hynopa was hurt beyond belief. It was soon that she swore that she would prevent a tragedy from occurring to anyone. Thus, she formed the Trifecta of Misery. This would be her chance to wipe out ANYONE's tragedy. But to this day, she has never found a way to do so. But to help her accomplish that, she hired members in the forms of her very first patients. They were the Caveman, the member you just came across, who was the result of-
  • (Rainbow Dash): The villains already covered that the guy's an exspeariment gone wrong. Repeating it again would be redundent.
  • (Celestia):... Right. Anyway, the others are Viper Woman, a former human woman and snake-enthusiast who was turned into a powerful naga when suffering a curse during an excavation on an ancient Snake Tribe Temple, Hump-Jetpack, a camel from Zootopia who went into villainy when his family lost everything in a lawsuit concerning one of the controversial details of Peacorp's experiments on Night Howlers, and thus he turned to petty thefts and crimes to support his family, Butch Butcher, a former meat butcher for a slaughterhouse who lost his cherished pig when he had to be euthanized by law after biting his employer and has since worn his pig skin as a mask and turned into a serial killer, Steverio-Type, a Doberman from the Pomeroy System, which you might know as the location of the All Dogs Go To Heaven world, who lost his magician owner to corrupt cops and thus learned how to convert his inherited magic skills into the ability to manifest stereotypes, making them real, Polar Captain, a Superior polar bear and a quantonium mercenary who once smuggled them through his trademark slushies until a bust by Ororo's friends and the Super Ops lead to him taking his own business on an island filled with dormant battleships, Checkmate, a kangaroo from the Kangaroo Hoodoos in the Dragon Realms who was a chess champion until her fear of being outclassed drove her off and into a gambling life, Lord Marlin Sword, who lost her wife in a unfair court as she killed human game fishers in self-defense, Master Cluck-Fu, a cousin to one of Sly Cooper's enemies who wishes to avenge his cousin AND family name by constantly attempting to defeat Sly to no avail, and finally, Norton Hot Air, AKA Weatherman, who was a former weatherman turned into a weather-manipulating supervillain with a deformed umbrella-shaped head. To this day, this team seeks to reverse their tragedies by discovering a possible way to do so.

Present

  • Celestia: And word of their existence spread far and wide. The reason the three villain teams retreated was because they not only knew how dangerous Hynopa was in combat what with her telepathic abilities that were previously estimated to be on par with the legendary Mewtwo, who has done his own fair share of beating up the villains in mainly the Villain League since he's been in other crossover hero teams in the past, primarily with Pooh, and-
  • Pinkie: (Scoffs) Poo!
  • Starlight:... Really, Pinkie? That's a little infantile, even for you.
  • Pinkie: What? Who WOULDN'T take Pooh's name non-seriously these days?
  • Celestia:... Anyway, the villain teams also fear that Hynopa is seeking to purge villainy altogether with her quest, and thus they wish to avoid her.
  • Applejack:... They're scared of her... Because they think she wants to purge villainy?
  • Celestia: Well, yes. Like I said, she knew a thing or two about the concept of good and evil since she was exposed to it because of where she lived. And she still does. In her eyes, good and evil exist in a continuum, and one relies on each other to survive. She's known this for so long, she knows it would be TOO easy for any hero to ask her to purge villainy. However, she finds that a disgraceful act, as she only wishes to reduce villainy to a slight amount so that the damage they did will heal. She seeks to balance out good and evil periodically until the day she dies. And THAT'S a long time considering her super-longevity. She estimates that she can reduce villainy and create new eras of good and evil about 19 times until she dies.
  • Rarity:... That's... Actually profound. I thought she was a villain that could make the other villains piss their pants like they did earlier. I would wager they would be PRETTY embarrised to realise that they were afraid of someone who's actselly not a TRUE threat to villainy.
  • Rainbow Dash: "And let's hope it stays that way for the sake of avoiding a full-on villain assult."
  • Celestia: She's at best an anti-villain who wishes to not cause harm, but prevent and rebuild it in a fitting image, doing it by undoing the tragedies that make villains who they are today. But to this day, she has never achieved that. So, if you're worried that the Trifecta is a new villain team stronger than the other three villain teams, then don't bother. They must be here because they were fooled just like the other three. Speaking of which... What brought them here?
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, apparently, they all received THIS! (Takes out a coupon and hands it to Celestia)
  • Celestia:... A coupon to Restaurant Row?...
  • Luna:... Somepony was using them! (Twilight was about to speak) And before you say it, we're still on the tips of our hooves on whether or not it was either Zesty, a vengeful restaurant owner, OR Trash-Mouth, even though it's CLEAR that HE would have no motive to doing this. If you're going to get answers on what caused this chaos, you'll need help. So we MIGHT need to call the Lodgers. They called about 6 minutes ago saying that they'll be ready to come here to drop off Vambi in an hour.
  • Celestia: Let's call them! They MIGHT need to know as early as possible. I'll get the communicator ready.
  • Unbeknownst to them, Happy was recording the whole thing with magic.
  • Happy left.

Gourmand Manor.

  • Zesty: "Good girl recording the conversation about Hynopa. Now, it's time to ease the Villain Team's concerns about Hynopa being out ot purge villainy so they can go back to destroying the restaurents! The damage is at best mildly manageable! I need it to be in unfixable levels!"
  • Happy: "..... Ok.... But only for you......"
  • Happy sent the magic messages to the Villain Teams, and as this was done, the villain ships were suddenly seen stopping, and making dramatic uturns!

Equestria

  • Cobra/Dark Dragon/Nefarious: (They landed)...HYNOPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Nefarious was heard glitching and 'Gotta Catch Em' All' by Powerhouse played)
  • Cobra: ".... (Giggles), I just love it when he does that!"
  • Dark Dragon: "Oh yeah, that's so hilarious...."
  • Cobra: ".... BUT I AM STILL VERY DETERMINED TO PUT HYNOPA IN HER PLACE!?"
  • Dark Dragon: "I SECOND THAT DECLARATION!?"
  • Dr. Nefarious was slapped back into reality!
  • Dr. Nefarious: "I 3RDLY.... OF WHATEVER IT WAS WE TALKED ABOUT!?"

Chapter 5: Another Mission for the Lodgers

Space, as the Van was seen flying.

  • Icky: "Ya know, after we took care of Kung-P.U. once more, I bet ya that it's nothing but smoo-" (He was grabbed by Shen)
  • Lord Shen: Finish that karma-trigger sentence, and I will twist you until you're sniffing your own butt!
  • Icky:... Now what makes you sure I don't secretly enjoy that as a secret shame fetish?
  • Lord Shen just stares blankly at Icky.
  • SMACK!?
  • Icky: "(While sent flying across the van) YOUR DISCOMFERT IS LIKE BEEEEER (Echos) (Slammed into something off screen!).... I'm okay."
  • Vambi was seen with her son, sitting Next to Gazelle.
  • Vambi: "...... Have these guys always been like this?"
  • Gazelle: "I'm still asking that myself, let alone getting used to it."
  • Vambi: "Look, again, I, want to apologiese about getting aggresive with you, my son was being held by that creepy little lizard thing and-"
  • Gazelle: "No need to explain. Kung-pow wasn't giving you any real choice."
  • Vambi: "Thank you for understanding..... Though, I gotta ask..... Why is that shirtless monkey making a deer-shaped cage?"
  • Monkey was seen doing that.
  • Monkey hides the tools and stands in front of the thing, nerviously smiling.
  • Gazelle: "..... Don't worry about that, they're just overly cautious."
  • Vambi: "(Sighs)...... I can't say I blame them for that. I can't believed I confused one of their founders for Cletus. I mean, the voice should've been clear enough that he wasn't Cletus..... Then I remember the fact that Cletus was a champion voice changer in his teens, so, I, assumed he was trying to faked me out. Speaking of which, is Cletus still imprisoned."
  • Gazelle: "In a way, though he was recently opted to be placed in community service as a forest guide. But don't worry, parol officers are at serious ready, and neither he or his strangely dumb octopus friends are without guns. And the biggest kicker is-"

Flashback.

  • Cletus and Clem were seen relucently being guides to litterall tree huggers as they had shirts that said "Tree Huggers" on it as the duo were made to wear cutesy ranger outfits.
  • Clem: "Cletus? Why are we done made to be guides for tree-huggers?"
  • Cletus: "Because them parol officers will kick our asses if we don't."
  • Such burely, strong bull-dog parol cops are seen growling while holding a rifle and a baton in ready each.
  • Clem: "..... I miss beer. Being sober has made me aware of how much my life is messed up. I'm a disgrace to octopus kind."
  • Cletus: "Hey this ain't no trip to Land of Make Believe fer me either, Clem. Being forced around liberals is the last thing my converitive mindset wants! But at least I get to know that the crazy doe is no longer alive."
  • Eventually, by the time of current events.
  • Cletus and Clem were shocked as they looked at a newspaper held in the prison walls.
  • Clem: "....... At, least she'll still be far away from us, right Cletus? Cletus?"
  • Silence.
  • The Entire Universe is seen.
  • Cletus' voice: "........ DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT?!"

Present as the scream was still heard.

  • Gazelle and Vambi started to giggle.
  • Gazelle: "Something tells me that Cletus isn't responding well to the news."
  • Vambi: "Clearly not. Though..... I'm worried about, if he would ever attempt to come after me as a result. I likely trumatised Cletus into being afraid of me cause of my stunts. He might want to hunt me down as revenge for nearly endangering him."
  • Duke Weaselton: "Ahh, don't sweet it, kid. Those rednecks have no hope against us. If they managed to get out, we'll send them back in the slammer faster then they can say yippie-kai-yay!"
  • Sandy: "Though here's what bugs me. How did clearly two unintillient insults to octopi everywhere managed to get out of bikini bottom?"
  • Mr. Krabs: "Probulity the same way we gotten to Pride Rock. Those two must've managed to get aboard the fancy ships we were offered to travel beyond Bikini Bottom, cause let's face it, it was a good call cause in hindsight, it was an early evacuation from a now sham of a socity! It makes ya wonder why nobody has yet attempted to fix it's problems!"
  • Vambi: "Oh don't be so cyinical to your native home. I'm sure it's not THAT bad!"
  • Icky: If by bad, you mean they go into an apocalyptic frenzy and die out in a few days because of the loss of a simple fast food product, then yes, it's almost like Gotham City down there.
  • Vambi:... Are you serious? They do something like that because they lost a food product? Well, I can clearly see why you guys don't wanna live there and be leading THIS team.
  • SpongeBob: Actually, we STILL live there. We have a popular show that shows us all there. It's... Not going well as it used to by today's standards because of several hurtful ways to make it a terrible and criticized modern form of it's former glory. And that 'simple food product' DOES have a good, if not slim, excuse for why it would cause something like that. If you've even TRIED a Krabby Patty, which I doubt considering you're a vegetarian, you'd know EXACTLY why, too. They've got patties that me and Mr. Krabs here have to protect on a regular basis because of it's delicious taste. That apocalyptic event only occurred because some human pirate-knockoff with Puss' voice used some magic reality-altering book to steal the formula from us, and while the formula's daily thief, Plankton, was blamed and I defended him because I saw the formula disappear, albeit briefly making the crazy people turn against me, things went a little crazy until... Well... We discovered the real culprit on the surface.
  • Vambi:... I still think that's a pretty mundane excuse to go insane. It's just food.
  • Sandy: Trust me, it's just how our show works.
  • Vambi:... Wait... YOU live with them? But... You're a squirrel.
  • Sandy: Well, I kinda have a job in Bikini Bottom as an inventor. I got it as a Christmas gift, but I kinda didn't expect my bosses to add that the job entailed an underwater lifestyle. I mean, I remember a few times in my young life where I liked the water, and kinda living in the sea COULD possibly allow you to hold your breath underwater for... Uh... How long was I lasting in that Pressure episode?
  • Squidward: Don't look at us, we didn't have a freaking stopwatch with us when you stupidly decided to try that out. Didn't help that some viewers were disturbed by the sight of your lungs blowing out. But nevertheless, I'd say it was QUITE an achievement that, if I was the same competitive jerk I was in that episode, I'd give props to land creatures for doing. Then again, some mammals CAN do that, but I'd expect you to be a whale or a seal to pull something like that off.
  • Kowalski: I was disturbed by that lung thing, too. Breathing water is SUPPOSED to complete the drowning cycle and make you lose consciousness. It's caused by your body going into a breathing reflex that shows you can't hold your breath any longer, and when it happens in the wrong environment... Well... You get the idea. Plus, I was surprised she didn't collapse on herself. She had to be a few dozen feet underwater, so the pressure would NOT have played well with her misguided bet.
  • Vambi:... So... When exactly did THAT happen?
  • Sandy: Long touchy story. Bottom line, it was a weird thing to introduce me into an environment, but I guess the writer wanted a little more creativity, and just added something as odd as an underwater-dwelling rodent in an oxygen suit to accomplish it.
  • Vambi:... And you don't MIND being in quite a risky environment?
  • Sandy: Eh, it had it's flaws and it's charms. I once went into a homesickness phase, because, hell, we all get that sometimes, but I guess SpongeBob and Patrick here tried to help me out, albeit in a very extreme and life-threatening way, but hey, at least it helped me see clearly that I was in a good enough home as it was.
  • Vambi:... Yeesh, sounds lonely.
  • Lord Shen: Well, if you all are busy discussing the good and bad things about our leader's home, I suggest we get ready. We have just entered the Gili System, and I for one am looking forward to staying in Canterlot this Halloween to join Celestia during her Nightmare Night Festival in a few days.
  • Sandy: She's having a Nightmare Night Festival?
  • Lord Shen: Well, yes, she's been talking about it since August.
  • Trixie: I assume it's because of her Gala-based boredom after so many months of fighting and protecting the UUniverses?
  • Lord Shen: Pretty much. And as the one she trusts more than anybody else... Well... Kinda... I will consider it an honor to make sure this Festival is completed on schedule, because I too need to relax after both Kung Pow's dirty move AND various others that I've grown tired and worn out of since that adventure on Mieber. And I swear, if ANYONE dares to jeopardize this one opportunity, then I am going to eviscerate them and use their gastrointestinal tracts as a condom each every day while I fornicate with their skulls!
  • Rico:... Whaa?
  • Lord Shen: To put it the way the Prehistoric One would, I'LL SKULL-F*** THEM!
  • Icky:... And I suppose you'll be m**********g to pictures of Celestia while doing it, ri-
  • Shen: Don't make me come over there, I will rip your world a-f******-sunder!
  • Banzai: Eh, to be fair, it IS a dinosaur world, so they'd PROBABLY have it coming to them.
  • Shenzi: Okay, first of all, you should NEVER encourage Shen's threats. And second of all... (Pushes him to the ground) THAT'S LITTLE FOOT'S WORLD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU INSENSITIVE CACKLE-HOLE!
  • Lord Shen:... My point is, as Celestia's boyfriend, I will support her in this Festival. Especially since we've never got to spend quality time with each other for a while. So, I'm standing by my word, if things go wrong, then may God help them!
  • Thief: ("Pfft, he worries and exaggerates too much. I mean, villains haven't been THAT active lately, so hopefully, they'll remain inactive just in time for-")
  • (Celestia): This is Celestia calling the Shell Lodgers! We need your help!
  • Thief: ("Oh, find me in the Alps! Karma can read minds?!?")

Karma World

  • Karma Fairy #1: Well, OF COURSE WE CAN READ MINDS, MR. I DON'T WIPE MY HINEY!!! WE'RE F****** FAIRIES! (All the fairies laughed out loud)

Space

  • Celestia: Guys, I know you're in the process of dropping off Vambi to the Monastery, but you might wanna be weary, cause we have a situation.
  • Shen: (Shrugs) PLEASE tell me some idiot didn't had the AUDACITY to interfere with the one chance we can spend time together during the holidays?!? I THINK SOMEBODY NEEDS A TREAT! AND BY THAT, I MEAN SOMETHING PAINFUL, SHARP, BLUNT AND HARD, FOR ME TO SHOVE UP THEIR-
  • Celestia: Whoa, Shen, that's a little bit of an extreme reaction. It's not even Nightmare Night yet. Plus, Luna assured me that we can clean this up before the Festival.
  • Lord Shen: We'd better. So, what seems to be the problem?
  • Celestia: "Oh where do I begin? First, the bank was heavily robbed of it's money by gangs from the Backside of Canterlot, who instructed them to not reveil anything about banking records for any reason, which was, odd, then the musuem was burned down, then suddenly te villain teams attacked Restaurent Row over coupons after being enraged that it may've been a waste of time, only for them to run off the minute the Tri-Fecta of Misery is involved, who they are after the Reforming Monistairy cbecause of the coupons being the shorce of Trash-Mouth's doing!"
  • Lord Shen gave a blank face.

Outside van.

  • Lord Shen's voice: "WWWWWWWWWWWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?!

Inside Van

  • Lord Shen: "OF ALL THE STUPIDITY OF THAT MONISTAIRY CRITIC, THIS IS WHAT HE DOES!?"
  • Celestia: "Oh don't worry, the villain teams have left and-"
  • An exploudtion from a-far in Equestia is heard.
  • Voice: "MY CABBAGES!?"
  • Celestia: "...... But appearently, they suddenly came back. But I swore they were afraid of Hynopa."
  • Cobra's voice from afar: "I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE BEEN ANOMAMOUSLY INFORMED THAT HYNOPA IS NOT OUT TO PURGE VILLAINY FROM A MYSTERIOUS MAGICAL MESSAGE, OR ELSE I WOULD'VE MISSED OUT ON PUNISHING THESE RESTAURENTS FOR WASTING VILLAINS' TIMES?!"
  • Everyone stared with a blank face.
  • Celestia: "..... Just my luck. It's bad enough that the Monistairy is likely over-wealmed by the Tri-Fecta, now the villain teams are suddenly back to ruin the restaurents for what could've been a prank on both them and the restaurents! Why are villains so easy to cheese-off?"
  • Icky: Well, duh, because they're villains.
  • Lord Shen: I have NO idea what a Monastery Critic like Trash-Mouth of all of those idiots would want with THEM considering they'd only be a USE to the Monastery rather than a hindrance. Not to mention that he couldn't have done this because I don't see how robbing an entire bank, destroying a dining sector, AND burning down a museum would support him in his quest against the Monastery.
  • Soothsayer: Indeed. I especially sense that there is something off. All my senses are telling me that Trash-Mouth is causing this, but I feel that it's not the case. Someone must've obscured the facts to pin him to the crime. Whoever's behind this, we need to find out who.
  • (Celestia): Good. We contacted you so you can aid Twilight and her friends in their quest to find the answers. Trash-Mouth is in the Trifecta's custody, and you might need to find a way to retrieve him and get the answers you need.
  • Lord Shen: "We'll arrive at the earliest convincence."
  • The screen turned off.
  • Lord Shen: "Ohh, bother. It's never so easy. Miss Gazelle, when we land, I ask you stay here with Miss Vampi and her child, keep them from becoming another piece of interest to the Tri-Fecta."
  • Gazelle: "Ok. Though, why can't I help out?"
  • Icky: "Because the plot requires us to handle this ourselves."
  • Gazelle: ".... I, still don't get that."
  • Icky: ".... Ok, in non-post modern speak, even with the Uniter Blade, your still pretty beaten up. Your kinda in no condition to go against three villain teams and the bootleged Sueiside Squad."
  • Gazelle: "(Pays full attention to her bruzes and injuries).... Fair points."
  • Iago: "Don't worry about us. WAY before even Zootopia was a thing, we handled this problems well enough find on our own."
  • Banzai: "Also, it's obvious that in this case, the villains are acting out in being provoked and having you stop this problem would be MAJOR overkill. A simple magic spell from Merlin and some rumbling here and there is good enough to fix this problem. It's pretty rotine stuff."
  • Gazelle: "Fair enough."
  • Spongebob: "Now, the TV is avaluable for use, snacks are in the van fridge, and there's some of Kolwalski's senteries designed to warn you guys of any trouble. If there is any, call for us and well come in as quickly as possable."
  • Gazelle: "(Giggles), It's like Heckler came with us. But in all seriousness, I understood it well enough."
  • Duke: "I'll stick around, make sure everything's in the up-and-up."
  • Lord Shen: "Very well, and thank you for volentering."
  • Icky: "Now, there's the matter of who has to handle the civic duty, to call for backup? Cause this shit is OBVIOUSLY not something we can handle on our own!"

Chapter 6: Saving the Restaurants from Debt and Scammed Villains/Monastery Rescue

Restuarent Row.

  • The Villains are seen rioting and looting Restuarent Row, as Foop summoned a Fairy Oddparents sytile Godzilla rip-off!
  • Foop: "THAT, IS FOR REFUSING SERVICE?!"
  • ???: "Foopy?"
  • Foop: "Ohhh, crap-baskits."
  • Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda appeared.
  • Anti-Wanda: "Is that you mah bay-be?"
  • Anti-Cosmo: "Anti-Wanda darling, are you seriously forgetting about-"
  • Anti-Wanda gave a strangely cute squee and grabbed Foop to give him a death-grip-like embrace, to the discomfert of Foop!
  • Anti-Wanda: "D'AWW, I MISSED YOU MY BABY!?"
  • Foop: "UN-HAND ME, YOU BRAIN-DEAD IDIOT?!"
  • Garble and the Dragon Teens laughed!
  • Foop: "YOUR EMBARRISING ME IN FRONT OF THE UNDERDOGS!?"
  • Anti-Cosmo: "Oh trust me you overtly evil brat, it's not exactly my cup of tea either!"
  • Anti-Wanda: "Oh hush up! And let's see if we can ask the Darky Dray-Gone to get our son onto our side!"
  • Foop: "Ya know, I actselly did consider getting with the scougre..... THEN I DISCOVERED IT HAD YOU TWO IDIOTS IN IT?! Sorry, but putting up with less then perfect parents is not on my to-do list. In fact, I have it RIGHT HERE! (Shows such list, which only shows one item: Revenge on Poof)..... Okay admiting, I do need to make this list more proactive."
  • Anti-Cosmo: "WHAT!? No son of mine is assusiating with those Malefor butt-kissers! Whether I still hate you or not is no longer relivent! YOUARE GONNA BE A PROUD SCOUGER AND LIKE IT!?"
  • Zira: "Oh is that it!? Originally stealing the Cheetah Bros. from us isn't enough, now you want take a relitively recent member from us!? YOU HAVE NEITER LEGEL NOR ILLEGAL GROUNDS!?"
  • Anti-Cosmo, unimpressed, raised his one and caused a black cat to briefly run by, meow, and caused an anvil to crashed into Zira cartoonishly!
  • Zira: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!? Well..... AT least I wasn't eaten by the-"
  • The Serpent Lord bursts through the ground where Zira was and swallowed her and some debre whole!
  • Zira's voice: "CURSE YOU KARMA!?...... Oh hey, they have WI-FI in here now."
  • Anti-Cosmo: "We are going to settle this in villain court in Muggshotra about member costity! Those Malefor lovers have no right to own my child, even though I can't particular say I actselly really like him, IT'S THE MATTER OF THE PRINCIPAL OF IT ALL!?"
  • ???: "HEY YOU THREE?!"
  • The Anti-Faires looked to see Pumbaa!
  • Anti-Wanda: "Hey look, honey, it's that pig we tortured awhile back!"
  • Pumbaa: Pig?
  • Anti-Cosmo/Foop: "ANTI-WANDA, YOU IDIOT?!"
  • Pumbaa: Are you talking about me?
  • Anti-Cosmo: OH, (Chuckles) uh, don't listen to her, she's an idiot. (Anti-Wanda scoffed in offense)
  • Pumbaa: Are you talking about ME?!?
  • Anti-Cosmo: Uh, uh, target HER, she's the one who said it!
  • Pumbaa: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?!?
  • Anti-Cosmo: WHAT THE HELL, DO YOU TURN DEAF EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU THAT?!? CHARGE HER!!!
  • Anti-Wanda: No, no, no, charge HIM! If he's going to call me an idiot, he sure as hell needs your treatment!
  • Foop: You know what? I have a BETTER idea! (Magically puts them inside an upside-down butterfly net) YOU two are responsible for whatever you did to him, so you BOTH need it. I have NOTHING to do with it.
  • Anti-Cosmo: (As Pumbaa prepared to charge) Foop, I am your father, and you will do as I say!
  • Foop: Oh, sure, all you've done is keep me in some fairy prison since I was only a day old. Why do you think I'm NOT with your giant army of toys?
  • Krekka: That, sir, is racist!
  • Foop: Assimilate me! So, I'll NEVER join you after that. Enjoy grabbing the warthog by the horns. (Poofs away as Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were powerless inside the butterfly net)
  • Pumbaa: THEY CALL ME 'MR. PIG'!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (He charges)
  • Anti-Cosmo: Oh, rat-poopie!
  • BLAM!? WHAM?! SLAM!?
  • The Villains flinch at the sight of Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda getting pwned heavily!
  • Foop reappeared to watch the fruits of his labor.
  • Foop: "Maybe this will bring mother back to reality.... If not.... Eh, at least I get to enjoy my parents being smacked around by a retro-disney warthog."
  • Dr. Nefarious: "Hey, squarebutt! As much as I can't say I wasn't a fan of those scourgers, that wasn't very cool to do to your parents, coming from someone like me, AND I HAD MAJOR DADDY ISSUES!?"
  • Foop: "Oh, if it isn't Dr. Greendomeass! Here to turn me into a robot or something?"
  • Dr. Nefarious: Hmmph, bite my shiny metal ass!
  • Foop:... It doesn't look so shiny to me.
  • Dr. Nefarious: Shinier than yours, meatbag.
  • Cobra: Oh come now, Good Doctor, allow Foop to enjoy his dysfuntional family fun, espeically if it's two scourge imperials! And I see you've got two new members with you.
  • Dil: HAH! You could only afford to get the geek and the petty robber? Isn't their OTHER villains from your game universe that are still alive?
  • Nefarious: Many of them are either changed for the better or are just not good and have their own independence. And why are the smelly bug-eaters here!
  • Timon: (Pops out from behind Pumbaa) SMELLY?!? SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU SKINNY DOMEHEAD!! (Nefarious then charged his hands as they screamed) OKAY, LET'S GET GOING!! (They scurried off)
  • The Antis were seen bruzed and beaten up.
  • Anti-Cosmo: "(Dazed) I still mean it on that costity challnage."
  • Cobra: Alright, alright, everybody calm down! I know we're all upset that we were both used AND scared off for a brief time. But we all have the same enemy: the motherf***** who sent us those coupons. We're only destroying these buildings until we get some answers. So, until then... Ohh, oh.... (Bleeds from his nostrels) (Shrugs)... I swear, I haven't even said it yet, and yet, already, I just had an aneurism from this.... But we need to wo-... We need to WOOO-OOOOOOO-OOOOORRRRR...
  • Scratch: "Oh, oh! I know! We need to Whore together!"
  • Grounder: "No! He said we need to WORSE together!"
  • Fido: "Your both wrong, tincans, we need to THRONG together!"
  • Spot: "THAT DOESN'T EVEN START WITH W, DIMWIT!?"
  • Rover: "There also isn't alot of words that start with W and O."
  • Cobra: "Wo, Wo, Wo (Wheeses in pain and coughs, coughs turned painful and sore!)..... We need, a momentarly allience with eachother until we can successfuly punish the one respondsable of getting us to Equestia for virtually no reason! AND IF THE COMIC RELIEFS FROM LION KING WERE ANY INDICATION, THAT MEANS THE HEROES ARE ON TO US BY NOW?! WE NEED TO WORK FAST BEFORE WE ARE INEDITABLY OVERWEALM BY AN ALL YOU CAN GET BEATEN BY BUFFET!? So far, the best we got is that this was the fault of an anti-Reforming Monistairy Critic of a basturd is behind this and that he's in costity of the Trifecta and LIKELY has already taken over the Monistairy and it's villains! Given how powerful Hynopa is, reguardless of any lack of interest to purge our kind, it's likely that even Amutt has ended up pulling another Celestia and fell victim to her powers! We need a stragity, people!"
  • Foop: "Well I already summoned a Kaiju, so why not just send it to destroy that place and-"
  • Cobra: "No, a mere act of brain-washing and the beast turns against us."
  • Nuka: "I know! We TP their houses!"
  • Silence......
  • Cobra: "...... Any OTHER suggestions?"
  • Dark Dragon: "Oh for Makuta's sake, let's just have a full skale assult on them! We HAVE the numbers after all!"
  • Cobra: "A full scale attack's too risky!"
  • Dr. Nefarious: "Ahh, but remember, Mang! She's held back by her distaste of tragities! We'll use that against her!"
  • Cobra: "...... Wow, that little Sheep did a good job on you. Actselly, very impressive. Ok, but who to use?"
  • Shan-Yu: "I have a, few suggestions."
  • Shan-Yu's finest hans brought over the restaurent owners, even Saffron and Coniander.
  • Cobra: "...... Perfect....."

The Monistairy.

  • The Entire villain teams arrived on the porch of the Monistairy.
  • Gaston: "...... Boys, tear down that door!"
  • Clayton's thugs used a ram to destroy the door, allowing the villains enterence, only to find, only the tied up Monistairy Villains, Candence, Shining, A relitively unharmed sleeping Flurry in a baby playpen, the monistairy staff, even Trash-Mouth tied up, beaten up, and left unconjustus with a note.
  • Shiv: "..... Not gonna lie.... I was expecting more."
  • Foop: "It appears that they, deserted this place.... AND Trash-Mouth!"
  • Cobra: "That doesn't seem proper for those Sueiside Squad Expies...... Unless....(Pays closer attention to the note, picks it up and proceeds to read it)..... "Dear whoever it may concerned. We have reason to believe, that Trash Mouth was not our inviter all this time. Though even I am not able to really see any falsehoods, I felt that is too inconsistent with his lifesytile prior to this event. Espeically since when Candence explained that Trash-Mouth has no ability to even make his own coupons and that his near-villain status would prevent him from legally aquiring some to use for his misdeeds, along with inconsistentcies with his so called "Plan" involving the bank, the museum, and the presence of those tragity causing villain teams. Espeically since Trash Mouth is known to stick only to mercenaires, which even disincludes any interest in our humble Trifecta. Thankfully, in thanks to the Monistairy's libary books, we discovered that Trash-Mouth's inconsistent behavior is the shorce of a rare spell that makes it look as if everything is out of his free-will, and with help from our magic exberts, we deduced that indeed, he has the spell. So if you wish ill-intentions to him, bother not, for he is only a puppet in this. Now as to why he's in this pitiful state, that wasn't our fault, he was assulted by a robust female griffin we mistaken to be male. He kinda said a very mygastistic comment and set her off. So, as a fair warning, you are asked to leave these inhapitence alone, espeically the reformed villains, we still plan to include them into our ranks. Failure to comply will end sorely for you. With love, Hynopa, the leader of the Tri-Fecta of Misery. P.S.: If you read this, this note will magicly turn into a magic exploudion that'll summon a great giant chinese magical cage that'll never let anyone in or out."............. Oh......."
  • The Note makes a tiny exploudtion as the giant chinese cage rises up and traps everyone in the monistairy.
  • Cobra: "..... Poo......"
  • Junjie: "Oh this is diffently akin to that of the Tsao family dark magic."
  • Meng Tao: "Thank you, Shoulin Master Obvious."
  • Maleficent: "Curses! This cage is beyond ALL of our levels! How do we escape!?"
  • Shining, Candence, and everyone else comes through, and sees the villain teams.
  • Shining: "..... Well, you know your in deep poop when your trapped in a giant asian cage with the villain teams. Wow, those Tri-Fecta guys mean business!"
  • Grimoors: "I'll say, espeically since they made Amutt PULL ANOTHER CELESTIA!? SERIOUSLY, MAN, YOU NEED TO RE-STEP-UP YOUR GAME!?"
  • Amutt: "I meant not to fail anyone! It's just, that snake managed to bypass even my uncontrolable mind! It was like..... She was inside of me herself."
  • Shamus Phantomerge: "That was Hynopa I'm afraid. A Superior. She's been like this ever since her failure to save a madman from his own insanity. Her powers can trumped even the likes of Algor and Grotch himself!"
  • Trash-Mouth came through, painfully, and saw that he was surrounded by villains.
  • Trash-Mouth: "(SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL!?) WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?! ONE MINUTE, I WAS IN MY APARTMENT BEING INVESTIGATED, THEN THIS CAVEMAN CAME FROM NOWHERE, THEN EVERYTHING WENT BLACK, NOW I'M HERE IN THE LAST PLACE IN THE WORLD I WANNA BE IN, AND SURROUNDED BY THE WORSE OF THE WORSE!?"
  • Mecurymon: "I think it's safe to say that these magic exberts were generious enough to cure this simpleton of his curse."
  • Mirage: "Though I wager is so they can collect the shorce of the magic and use it to hunt down the REAL trouble-makers!"
  • Cobra: "Then in that case, we must NOT let those Sueiside Squad expies rob us of our glory for vengence! And we know of the only several things powerful enough to surpass this cage: The Baby Alicorn, and the Amutt Family!"
  • Candence: "I'm for wanting to stop the Tri-Fecta from their misguided crusade, but not through your means! I rather wait for the Lougers to come and help us out of this!"
  • Nidhiki: "By then, they'd already be too late, and the Tri-Fecta will score additional members in the form of who's ever respondsable for this mess, being followed by your purifived has-beens! You surely don't want THAT now, do ya?"
  • Amutt: "..... You speak an unfortunate truth, villains. But it can't be through Flurry Heart....."
  • Cobra: "Why, NOOOOOT?!"
  • Amutt bonks Cobra in the head, as Mang wimply yells!
  • Amutt: ".... Because it's her naptime."
  • Flurry Heart gave a cute snore even the villains awwed and had near-heart attacks over.
  • Rover: "Son of a gun, she's freaking cute!"
  • Cobra: "..... Ok, fair enough, Mutt..... But how do you plan to get us out of here!? Likely Cluck-Fu considered your magic an issue, so it can withstand even your near-god magic!"
  • Amutt: "Ahh, but has he considered this? (Howls!)"
  • Roar was heard!
  • Arriving from nowhere, The Giant Scarab and the Giant Flying Sea Turtle arrived.
  • Amutt: "Let's see if Cluck had considered the cage's durability for monster attacks. My creations, free us from this imprisonment!" (They did that)... Alright, everyone. We need to get to the bottom of this, pronto.
  • Cadance: I need to stay behind, though. We can't leave Flurry Heart unattended.
  • The group and the Restaurent Owners got out, but the villains were trapped back in before they could get out!
  • Dark Dragon: WAIT! What about us?
  • Ryan: (Laughs) After all you did in Canterlot, you think we're going to get you out of there?
  • Charlene: Yeah, so you can FORGET about being released, you overkillers!
  • Foop: Oh, so you throw ONE rampage over being scammed, and SUDDENLY you get punished for it!
  • Mirage: Mark our words that there are OTHER ways for us to destroy restraints like these. So I DEMAND that you release us AT ONCE!
  • Dr. Wazabi: Uh, Miss Mirage, first off, you can't really make us. Second, if we release you, you'll just go back to your quest to destruction just to hunt whoever brought you here.
  • Etemon: Pretty big talk coming from a guy who put my kind in experimental HELL in his nerdy teens.
  • Dr. Wazabi: Hey, your race is basically an advanced version of tamagotchi, and the fact that they have full-sentience and their own dimension is a very widely-popular field. And besides, Digimon scientists show their Digimon test subjects with about as much respect as they do with their own kin, and we NEVER murder them because we consider them people subject to due process of law. If they DO die, we hold funerals for them, AND we CAN resurrect them because, well, they're digital monsters. It's RIGHT IN THE NAME! Clearly, it's been YEARS since you were defeated by the pre-Lodger Digidestined AND you've hardly kept track of your own kind's relationship with humans because you were too busy sticking with a bunch of repetitive-losers who used your Dark Network to properly construct a perfect imitation of the computer in your last hideout in Hollow Bastion.
  • Etemon: You'd best watch what you're saying, birdbrain! I don't take kindly to critics!
  • Mirage: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! LET US GO!
  • Cadance:... If you wish to be set free, then you SHALL be set free! But not in Equestia! It's time for you people to go back home! (Teleports them away as they all appeared in separate cages in each of their respective hideouts as they all screamed in failure, with Nefarious glitching as 'The Rain' by Oran "Juice" Jones was playing)... That should keep them busy for at least until the Running of the Leaves.
  • ???: "Well good to know we've been saved the trouble of dealing with the villain teams ourselves."
  • The Lougers and additional heroes arrived.
  • Candence: "No thanks are nessersary. Unfortunately, your still gonna need the extra help against the Tri-Fecta."
  • Icky: "Which is why we brought them up to speed and already have a stragity. Our robo friend, Perseus-QX, deals with the Captain Caveman knock-off of a Flintsones reject, Ol' Fu-Xi here aims to tango with Viper Woman, Judy and Nick have a score to settle with the, (Scoffs), Sorry, The "Hump-Jetpack", Axle's here to bust Butch, Charlie and Itchy are here to get Steveo, The Justic Teens came here to get Polar Captain, The 9 and our kangaroo friend from Warfang are here about Checkmate and her Chessbots, we have a speical surprise for Lord Sword-Face, We got Carmilita and The Cooper Gang ready for Clucky, we brought Xenon with a cure to fix Norton for good, and we got Master Algor ready with a surprise against Hynopa. Now we just need to know, where are those guys?"
  • ???: "They're after my mother..... Because of me."
  • A regretful Happy Gourmand came forth, crying and looking like she went through a scuffle.
  • Dodger: "..... Yo, who's the Starlight Recolor?"
  • The Main 7 arrived and saw Happy.
  • Rarity: ".... Wait, I know you! Your Happy Gourmand! Zesty's Magic Asbergers Daughter! What brings you all the way out here, and what happened to the villain teams?!"
  • Happy: "I don't have time to say anything! It's the Tri-Fecta! They figured everything out! They somehow managed to top my magic and-"
  • Sly Cooper World Vampire Mantises popped out of nowhere, grabbed Happy and hissed!
  • Mantis: "AHHH GIANT BIPEDIAL MANTIS VAMPIRES!?"
  • Happy tries fighting them off, but more come!
  • Rarity: WHOA, HOLY *YAAAY*!!!
  • Twilight: LET HER GO! (She and Starlight blast at them as they were impervious to the attacks)...What?
  • Cadance: I think these creatures were magically modified by Cluck-Fu's dark magic powers.
  • Twilight: Well, then, that means it's time to get the Equinox out. (She transforms into the same Equinox form she used before, but the Undead Mantis Vampires counteracted it by mind-controlling Happy into taking the blast, which Starlight quickly aborted as the two ended up in a standoff with Happy)
  • Happy: (Mind-controlled) Do not come any closer, misfits! You KNOW how dangerous this little ponies' Magical-Aspergers are.
  • Gilda: Well, balls, I think the Trifecta gave them mind-control powers, too. But... Who did it?
  • Soothsayer: Apparently, it's a blend between Cluck-Fu's family's black magic, AND quantonium provided by the Polar Captain. With that kind of power, these things can not only manipulate the minds of their victims, but they can do it to anybody, including occlumency-trained members.
  • Twilight: Is that even possible?
  • Soothsayer: Definitely for the Trifecta.
  • Happy: (Mind-controlled and speaking for the Mantis Vampires) If you all get any closer to this pony, then we will restore her Asperger ailment, and let the stress she's suffered cause her head to explode.
  • Icky: HAH! YOU DON'T HAVE THE NERVE! YOUR MASTER WOULD CLEARLY ADMONISH YOU FOR CAUSING A TRAGEDY!
  • Happy: Hynopa wouldn't care about making a tragic sacrifice, EVEN if it would make her a hypocrite in the process. She will do what she must if it means she gets what she needs. And what she NEEDS is this pitiful disabled little brat's mother AND her cohorts who elaborated this entire plan just so she can pay the mortgage on her STUPID Gourmand Manor.
  • Rarity:... Zesty's Manor... Is under a mortgage?
  • Rainbow Dash: SO IT WAS HER! (Yells) HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO F****** BLIND?!? THAT OLD HAG!!!
  • Pinkie: RAINBOW DASH!
  • Happy: That's right, you fools! She had hired the following ponies to aid her in this entire scheme: Svengallop, Wind Rider, and Dr. Eureka, whom she had this bratty mule impersonate as Cadance to get them out of the Black Stallion Asylum, having Svenny offer them the directions to the Restaurant Row, Wind Rider deliver the coupons, and a confidence-boosted Dr. Eureka make them. She hired former notorious Manehatten con artist McScam, whom SOME of you may recognize as the guy who offered Pinkie a gift in exchange for her party cannon...
  • Pinkie: Wait, THAT was his name? And he was NOTORIOUS?!?
  • Cadance: Of course he is, Pinkie! He's one of the most widely-known con artists and swindlers in Manehatten, and due to recent events including Coco's campaign for the Midsummer Theater Revival making ponies, in his own words, 'soft' and 'beyond the attitude he used to do his job flawlessly', he had to hide away from the public and has tried until apparently today to restore his business.
  • Happy: AND, he's the guy known as 'McCram'! He sabotaged the connections to Restaurant Row so Zesty's maid and butler, Butt-Licker and Boot-Kisser- (Many of the heroes laughed)... Oh, sorry, we got their names wrong, it's Butt-Kisser and Boot-Licker- (The Heroes laughed louder at that)..... Are people realy that easily amused? Irreguardless, You might've known those two as Donoretta and Money-Maker, who gained the villain insurance deal with all the restaurants in Restaurant Row in exchange for the full price they are actually worth, thus giving Zesty the 40,000 bits she needed to save her Manor, as the surplus money will be given to McScam so he can get back on his feet, as his servitude to her would make up WELL for the accident that caused Zesty's husband to die.
  • Iago:... That cold critic was MARRIED?
  • Rarity: YES, SHE HAS A DAUGHTER THAT'S STANDING MINDLESSLY AT US RIGHT NOW, YOU DUMB BIRD!!!
  • Lightning: Rarity, calm down!
  • Rarity: I CAN'T!!! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING!!! ZESTY HAS BEEN DOING ALL THIS NOT JUST FOR HER MANOR, BUT AS REVENGE AGAINST ME AND PINKIE FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT SHE DID TO HERSELF!!! (Tries to rip out her hair until she stops herself) WHY COULDN'T SHE JUST ASK US TO DONATE SOME BITS?!? WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT MUCH OF A GRUDGE ON HER TO SHUN HER OUT!!!... Well, Pinkie might have, given her lack of fondness for, qoute un-qoute, "Party Poopers",... BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!!! SHE HAD TO GET A WHOLE TON OF OUR ENEMIES INVOLVED AND GET MONEY THE HARD WAY?!? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MONSTER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?!?
  • Happy: Oh, trust me, she'll be treated from that pain soon enough. As soon as we return to the Gourmand Manor, Zesty and her compatriots will come with us to our hideout, and will be added to their ranks, even if BY FORCE!! A pony who wishes to add villains into a scheme caused from a tragedy that is NOT at a high degree and only a result of circumstance and bad luck CLEARLY needs Trifecta attention.
  • Rarity: HEY! Zesty may've been an unreasonable witch whom I may or not have helped much due to a rash decision of mind-control, but she is NOT a bad pony. As villainous as this plan of hers was, she was doing it for a good reason.
  • Happy: YOU THINK SHE CAN BE FORGIVEN AFTER SHE COMMITTED ALL THESE CRIMES ON YOUR WORLD?!? AND DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME "WELL, IT'S EQUESTRIA, THE PONIES ARE WAY TOO FORGIVING ANYWAY!" NOT EVERY CRIMINAL IS FORGIVEN AS EASILY WELL AS THEY ARE IN YOUR GIRLY-AS-F*** SERIES THAT RIPS OFF MEN'S BALLS AND REPLACES THEM WITH C**TS!! IT'S NOT REALITY!!! WHAT THIS CRITIC DID WAS A TRAGEDY BOMB WAITING TO HAPPEN, AND THE PAST MUST BE PAID FOR! SO SHE AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY AND COLLEAGUES ARE COMING WITH US! Oh, and uh, about that last insult, we were kinda asked to say that. We undead usually are opinion devoided.
  • Icky: Clearly it was Norton making those things say those anti-brony comments. The guy is an INFAMOUS ANTI-MLP troll.
  • Lord Shen: You KNOW we can't let you do that!
  • Happy: You shall NOT interfere in these affairs! If you DARE come near our leader, Zesty's daughter will suffer the most unpleasant headache of her life!
  • Sparx: THEN we'll put your bosses on trial for murder! While you Vampire Mantises will be put back to rest!
  • Starlight: THAT'S NOT THE POINT, SPARX!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAGIC-ASPERGER PATIENT OVERWHELMS THEIR BRAIN WITH MAGICAL ENERGY?!?
  • Sparx: Oh, what, it's gonna blow up? Please, we've resisted explosions before.
  • Starlight: But an explosion we're talking about is different! The resulting energy released will be beyond the comprehension of magical capability. The effects of the magical blast are random and can counteract magic spells at an evenly-matched level to spirits. You try to shield yourself from the blast with a magical shield, the energy will absorb it in an instant, and take US along with it. The explosion magically-distorts anything within a 200-mile radius, and packs the force of 5 nukes. Previous events of this happening, while rare, were MASSIVELY recorded of their effects, which include mental distortion and lobotomy, fatal deformities, transformations and mixed molecular structure or merging with other objects, chaotic environments similar to what Discord would come up with... IF HE WAS FREDDY KRUGER, JIGSAW, AND MCGEE'S WONDERLAND IMAGINATION COMBINED, mutated wildlife, and various others. Trust me, you do NOT wanna cross these guys.
  • Cadance: She's right, I'm afraid. Hynopa is willing to make herself look like a hypocrite if it means she does what she can, so she WILL hurt her and take all of us with her if we don't do as they say.
  • Skipper: WE CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY AND LET THESE IDIOTS ABDUCT A FOOD CRITIC AND EVERYONE SHE BROUGHT INTO THIS LITTLE CHARADE!!! WHAT SHE IS DOING HERE IS WRONG!!!
  • Happy: But it's for the greater good. Sacrifices MUST be made from time to time. So, I shall warn you one last time, if you stick your noses where they don't belong, she dies along with you!
  • Cynder:... YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!!
  • Happy: And who's going to stop us as long as we have Happy here? Now if you'll excuse us, we must do what we must. (They take Happy off as they leave the heroes in the dust)
  • Iago:... UGGGGHHH!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT! THE TRIFECTA CLEARLY HAS GOOD LEVERAGE ON US!!! JUST FORGET IT! Look at this, look at this, I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!
  • Lord Shen: Get a hold of yourself, Iago. It would seem that the Trifecta IS worthy of the reputation of making the three villain teams cower in fear, though not nessersarly in the original reason they feared them. They were correct about Hynopa's unafraidness to commit tragities herself, just to overall rid of them.
  • Iago: Oh, THERE'S a big surprise! I think I'm gonna have a heart attack, and die from 'not surprised'! What're we gonna do?!? We've got a BIG problem here, a BIG- (Lord Shen grabs his beak) HMMPH!
  • Lord Shen: I said calm yourself! We can still beat them.
  • Rainbow Dash: ARE YOU KIDDING?!? You guys couldn't even save that Theodore Lion guy from a situation like this, and even if you could, Hynopa has MORE eyes than just magic and an albino camera-eyed snake. She's a TELEPATH, ergo, SHE SENSES EVERYTHING!!! If we planned a full-frontal assault on their location, she'll know, and have us blown up faster than you can say 'mind over manners'! So may I ask you, oh wise and noble peacock, how are we POSSIBLY going to get across THAT?!?
  • Lord Shen: "..... Simple. We give her a reason to not leave as of yet. Something that not even her intellect wouldn't resist. She needs to seek out the most tragic and miserable creature she would seek out."
  • Spongebob: "Shen, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that."
  • Squidward: "Hey!"
  • Lord Shen: "I meant something even MORE Tragic and Miserable then Squidward!"
  • Pinkie: "Well that's alittle mean to say that about Starlight."
  • Starlight: "HEY!"
  • Lord Shen: "EVEN MORE THEN THAT!"
  • Icky: "Who's more miserable and tragic-story infested then these two?"
  • Spyro:... Hmm... (He looks at Pred)
  • Pred:... What? What're you-... Oh, no... You are SERIOUSLY not bloodly suggesting-

Chapter 7: The Trip to Gourmand Manor

Later

  • The Outskirts of Victorian Canterlot.
  • Pred and the sisters are seen placed in a gift baskit.
  • Pred: "...... Am I REALLY that tragic and miserable that you used me as bait?"
  • Spyro: Well, yeah. I mean, think about it. Your family has been disgraced so much by a crazed schizophreniac, you started to follow his example when you briefly went into denial of it until you saw a LOT of evil in non-ponies to the point where you embraced it, leading to the deaths of many others all over Equestria, to the point where even I was afraid of you. If that's not a stronger tragedy to Zesty's, I don't know what is.
  • Pred:... Just so you know, Purple Dragon, you OWE me for this if something happens to me.
  • Spyro: Duly noted.
  • Cynder: "Spyro, are you sure Hynopa wouldn't be even a little bit cautious about this?"
  • Spyro: "I can't say I can garrentie she'll completely buy it. She is likely to question the sudden convinence of Pred being handed out like this. But she is first and foremost an oppertuniest, and they can't resist the oppertunity of whatever it is they desire."
  • Sparx: "I kinda have to side with Cyndy here. Even oppertuniests can ignor their instincts if something doesn't feel right. And Hynopa is clearly no Junjie!"
  • Spyro: Look, it's the best we can do right now.
  • Cynder:...Well, what if this DOES end up failing? What's Plan B?
  • Spyro:...(Sighs)...Get the High Council involved, and see if they can deal with this.
  • Sly: Can't you just ask Saldaron to do one of those paradoxes for you?
  • Spyro: That-
  • Icky: If you say 'it's too easy for the plot', then stop being a p**** and do it!
  • Spyro: Can SOMEBODY slap him for me?
  • Lord Shen: With PLEASURE! (Uses his tail feathers to launch him into a tree)
  • Icky: AW, COME ON, I HATE IT WHEN I GET STUCK IN A FRICKIN' TREE!!!
  • Spyro: Now then, I was GOING to say that using Saldaron would be too predictable to Hynopa.
  • Tyrone: He's got a good point. She KNOWS that Saldaron, or as we Superiors call him, 'Saldar the Chronic', particularly the Superiors with time-travel capabilities, has done odd jobs for you Lodgers before, and thus she is SURE to have found a way to keep him busy.
  • Mantis: And HOW do you keep a TIME LORD at bay when they can go back multiple times over to try again?
  • Tyrone:...Well...

Cutaway

  • Saldaron: (He and multiple other time lords are busy dealing with Vampire Mantises)..... This, is going to be, a paperwork nightmare.

Present

  • Tyrone: My best guess is that Polar Captain could give the Vampire Mantis Zombies time-travel-granting quantonium just as well as he could give the ones we encountered mind-control and invincibility.
  • Mantis: Figures.
  • Spyro: So it looks like we have to give this a shot.
  • Pred: "Bloody ell."

Gourmand Manor

  • Zesty: (As she was tied up with the trio and the captured McScam and his goons) YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME?! LET ME GO AT ONCE, YOU SUEISIDE SQUAD EXPIES!?
  • Hynopa: I'm afraid we can't do that, Ms. Gourmand. You brought us here because of a tragedy of your own, and to make sure you don't do anything bad in the future, you and your friends are going to have to come with us, whether you like it or not.
  • McScam: Hey, bitch, you can't just come barging in here just to abduct us. So why don't you just get out of here?
  • Hynopa: Because I'm SURE you'll find that you WON'T be able to resist. (The Mantis Vampire bring in the mentally-lobotomized Happy)
  • Zesty: HAPPY!!!
  • Hynopa: So, I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter. You simply MUST be corrected of your tragedy. Now come with me, or I will not hesitate to detonate her magically-unstable mind and take all that we can with us.
  • Zesty: YOU DO THAT, AND YOU'LL NOT ONLY BE DESTROYED AS WELL, BUT YOU'LL MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A DIRTY HYPOCRITE!!!
  • Hynopa: Possible hypocrisy is none of my concern if it's for the greater good. And as for the former, we are capable of avoiding the resulting blast. You NEED this, and you'll thank us for doing this favor for you. So I will ask you ONE more time, if you do not come with us so we can wipe this rotten situation from you permanently right now, I'll be forced to do something VERY drastic. And when I get drastic, it does not tend to end well.
  • Zesty:... (Sighs) Fine! You win!
  • Hynopa: Good mare. Now, let us escort you to the ship.
  • Zesty: (Softly starts sobbing as she and her associates were taken away)
  • Hynopa: Please do not feel nothing but sorrow from this. Please look at this as a chance for a grander future. And hopefully, with the warning I've given to the Lodge, they will NOT interfere.
  • Steverio-Type: What makes so sure they'll back off and not go after us reguardless? They don't tend to heed to threats.
  • Hynopa: If they DID, then I would know IMMEDIATELY. As a telepath, I can sense everything. If they tried, then they WILL be caught. So we have NO worries ahead of us.
  • Caveman: "Wait, what about those Monistairy Reformed Villains?"
  • Hynopa: "Another prize for another time, in unfortunate presence of the Lougers. It would be wise to not further provoke them with what we're already taking from Equestia."
  • As they aimed to leave, they opened the manor door and discover Pred and the Sisters in a gift baskit.
  • Norton: "Oh, d'oh what the fuck?!"
  • Cluck-Fu: "..... What matter of tom-foolery is this?"
  • Hynopa:... The notorious Pred Judu Des and his adopted daughters?
  • Marlin: What are THEY doing here?
  • Pred: Well, ya see, the Lougers placed us in this Gift Baskit in meaning to show no hard feelings. However, we're meant to be a trade-off in return for Zesty to be left alone.
  • Viper Woman: Your joking, right? This is obviously a trap.
  • Chain: No, we're serious!... I mean... Yes, they did! BUT they figured this was their best chance. Unfortunately, the more we thought about it, we decided to join in after we saw you and use our tragedies to come in and join you. I MEAN LOOK AT MY HAIR!!! IT'S GONE!
  • Axe-Rella: And Sharp-Pay is a mentally-inconditioned retard who is bound to suffer what that sponge did when Squidward tried to make the Krusty Krab look like a five-star restaurant. We came here because we don't want that to happen to her and turn her into a vegetable.
  • Sharp-Pay: WHY YOU... Uh... I mean, yes, of course. Or like that funny SMG4 Mario Bloopers episode which was an early ripoff of Inside Out where the emotions were Teletubbies and-
  • Caveman: Not buying it. Hynopa, say the word and I'll send these guys flying straight into that really dirty lake!
  • Hynopa: (Reads their minds)... Actually, their alibis seem pretty solid. Not completely, but I'll buy it enough.
  • Caveman: Aw man, I barely got to really use my club here other then dramatic enterences.
  • Hynopa: Well, if the Lougers really desire that, than we shall accept. But I shall warn you, if this is a trick, then just remember what happens to Happy.
  • Axe-Rella: Trust me, Hyney, you won't be disappointed.
  • Hynopa: I'd BETTER not. And DON'T call me Hyney! (They go back inside the manor for security reasons.)

Back at the Van

  • Tyrone: (Seeing the previous scene unfold through his mind)... Okay, he's in. They were able to convince the Trifecta to let them with a tale that said we're giving them as a trade-off for Zesty and the others.
  • Charlie: Wow, for a former psychopathic maniac, he sure seems to be a good strategist.
  • Fluttershy: I guess Hidden Shadow was a good influence on him as well as Bellwether was to Nefarious.
  • Carmalita:... So... Now what?
  • Tyrone: Now we begin with Phase 2: the phase I didn't explain to you to avoid certain things.
  • Bentley: And that would be?
  • Tyrone: The BEST way to deal with a telepath. That's all I'm gonna say.
  • Rainbow Dash: REALLY? I'm pretty sure there's NO possible way to easily beat a telepath at his/her own game.
  • Tyrone: Well, in a way, you're right. But as a telepath, I shall explain. Knowing telepaths, they are DEVOID of, for lack of a better term, human error due to their increased intelligence and brain power, so playing to a forgetful side is impossible. However, even TELEPATHS can have intellectual weaknesses.
  • Jumbaa: Oh, I sincerely DOUBT that!
  • Tyrone: Actually, their telepathy HAS several weaknesses, and they CAN be resisted. Po says that telepathy is a dangerous and often incontrollable power as one who had it himself, and SpongeBob says that Timmy Turner told him about this one time when telepathy was almost his downfall as he was tortured by his villainous crackpot teacher through making students loudly think thoughts at the same time and overwhelm him in an attempt to get him to expose his fairy godparents. While THOSE flaws are fixed in SOME Superiors, not all of them can control them. And Hynopa here is a mentally-ruined telepath. And THAT'S saying something because mentally-destroying a telepath on an emotional level is an EXTREMELY hard thing to do. Hynopa here is very amateur with her mental powers because ever since her tragedy, she's lost a bit of her telepathic edge.
  • Lord Shen: What are you suggesting, then?
  • Tyrone: I am suggesting that in order to defeat a telepath like Hynopa, we use the same strategy that made her weak to begin with. You PLAY to her mental weaknesses, and play her right into your hands.
  • Kowalski: And then what?
  • Tyrone: Well, I'm no expert in entering a subconscious mind like SHE is since I don't do it that often, but I HAVE learned that a victim with a very sadistic and VERY tragic past, not to mention a little mental limitations, COULD match the subconscious hell that made her Hynopa in the first place.
  • Twilight:... Are you suggesting that WHATEVER is in Pred's head is like a living hell?!?
  • Tyrone: Well, it depends on the individual. ESPECIALLY when the patient has killed a high number of people. That COULD in theory make your subconscious very dangerous. But I imagine that his subconscious won't exactly be like what however SHE saw OR described it, but it'd be more like Brian's Mushroom-Jacked Dream in that Hurricane Family Guy episode.
  • Icky: Oh, yeah, that episode that says Meg shouldn't assert herself because it will destroy her family? Bulllllllcraaaaaaaaaap!
  • Cynder: ANYWAY, how would Pred's mind REALLY be?
  • Tyrone:... You're asking me how to describe a person's subconscious? Just trust me on this. All he has to do is try and convince her to enter his mind, and HOPE that she'll be lost enough for his sisters and us to do the rest. Hynopa's the most powerful watcher in the group, and when she focuses on a person's subconscious, she cannot do any other telepathic abilities as she will only be concentrating on ONE thing at a time.
  • Squidward:... That idea... May just be crazy enough... To actually work.
  • Tyrone: Always listen to the telepath.
  • Itchy: So how is Pred going to get her to do that?
  • Tyrone: I don't know, it's all up to him at this point.
  • Icky: "But, what about the off chance that crazy shit no longer bothers her anymore and she would just shruged it off as Pred just being alot of work? Didn't she used to deal with crazos 24-7? I mean, surely she seen shit so crazy, it would make Pred look tame in compairision. I mean, what if this shit doesn't bother her anymore and we could've effectively sold off Pred for nothing?"
  • Silence.....
  • Tyrone: "....... (Facepalms!) CONSARN IT, I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT!?"
  • Donkey: ".... Uh-oh."
  • Starlight: "..... Not, one of your finest plans, guys."
  • Po: "WE KNOW!?"

Chapter 8: Nobody And Nopony Likes A Critic/Nightmare Night in Canterlot

Gourmand Manor.

  • The Lougers busted in, concerned for the worse, only to find out.....
  • Pred and the Sisters stood victoriously over the defeated Tri-Fecta with Zesty and the others freed.
  • Icky: "..... The fuck happened!?"
  • Pred: "Well, we were gonna stick to the plan, but, well, the weather-monster got too offensive about our race and..... Sharp-Pay pretty much single handledly kick everyone's butts."
  • Algor: "...... Well so much for putting my new device on a test run."
  • Bently: "G'oh, and we were gonna have alot of quips and jokes at Cluck's expence!"
  • Ororo: "..... Yeah, kinda embarrising that the Tri-Fecta's downfall, was because of the loudmouth of a pony hater."
  • Fu-Xi: "..... Well, I feel like a waste of time to include if it was THAT easy."
  • Axle: "...... Ugh....... Once again, haters ruin everything."
  • Zesty and her group were seen trying to secretly escape.
  • Icky: "(Looks at their direction)..... HEY, WHERE DO YOU JACKASSES THINK YOUR GOING!?"
  • Svengallop: "YIPE?!"
  • Zesty: "RUN YOU FOOLS, RUN!?"
  • Zesty and the group ran off!
  • Lord Shen: "GET THEM!?"
  • Music plays as the heroes chased Zesty and co, minus the bewildered Happy, around the Gourmand Mansion.
My_Little_Pony_Friendship_is_Magic_-_Benny_Hill_Chase_(Background_Music)

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - Benny Hill Chase (Background Music)

  • Icky: "Ok, WHY does this MLP Benny Hill Music starts playing everytime a chase goes on in Equestia?! It's starting to get old!?"
  • When the lot were out of earshot, Happy then turned her attention to the defeated Tri-Fecta when Pred and the Sisters ran off to join the chase.
  • Happy stared bitterly at them, Hynopa espeically.
  • Hynopa, re-gained conjustusness, and saw an upset Happy before her.
  • Happy: "...... You think your so strong, threatening my life like that and make yourself look like a damn hypocrite just for an otherwise noble cause?! AND JUST TO INCLUDE MY MOTHER INTO THIS!? YOU KNOW MY MOTHER WOULD'VE NEVER FORGIVED YOU IF YOU ACTSELLY KILLED ME, RIGHT?!"
  • Hynopa: "...... If it's any consolation child..... That "Killing You" threat is nothing more then, "Tough Talk" as they say. It was but a mere scare tactic to keep the heroes from going after us..... You didn't honestly think I would actselly do that to a poor child like you just to get heroes to back-off and get them to take us seriously, didn't you?"
  • Happy: "..... YOU MEAN YOU THREATENED MY LIFE AS A SCARE-TACTIC?! So, that stuff about you being a hypocritical telepathic killer, that's just to scare villains away from otherwise taking you down or converting you into another peon!?"
  • Hynopa: "...... Yes, I, confess that, I do not process a murderious bone in my body.... I only had people think I did so the Villain Teams won't simply try to get rid of us for being an inconvinence to their villianious plans, or for being a slap to the face for villain standerds. The Lawless are surprisingly very strict about that."
  • Happy: "..... Ugh..... Guess my mother isn't the only one who was being dishonest today. Well obviously, your plan failed either way, albeit because of your loudmouth umbrella headed friend!"
  • Hynopa: "Yes, I, I should've had Norton absint from this in hindsight. It was nothing truely against you child, we only wanted to prevent tragity from being dominent as it always had been..... That dream will never come true now..... I'm a failure......"
  • Happy now feels bad for Hynopa.
  • Happy: "...... It doesn't have to end here."
  • Happy then magicly teleported the Tri-Fecta group away from Equestia and back into their hideout.
  • Happy: "..... (Sighs)..... I am already in such legal trouble anyway, so, why not?"
  • Hynopa's voice (From Happy's head): "Thank you, young one. I'll never forget this kindness. I will repay your kindness with a kindness of my own."
  • A map appeared before Happy, as she took it and open it.
  • Happy: "...... The Treasure of Victorian Canterlot...... Where did you find this?"
  • Hynopa's voice: "By accsident mostly, when Butch sort've sliced one of the portrit paintings of your home when he was trying to hit the ex-Wonderbolt. His personal apologies by the way. You can see which one."
  • Happy looked to see the family portrit of her, Zesty, and Tasty Gourmand, as a slight rip was seen....
  • Happy: "Dad, must've knew about this when he had this portrit made...... He must've planned to have us know about the Victorian Canterlot treasure in an event of an emergency..... He didn't lived to have told us about it and this map ended up obscured for so long.... This, could save the mansion!"
  • Happy ran off to find where the Heroes and Zesty's group went!

Meanwhile...

  • Zesty: (As she and the others ran out of the Manor through a window, and into a dead end in the nearby woods, the Lodgers and heroes cornered them)
  • Shining Armor: I'm afraid we can't let you leave, Ms. Gourmand! As the Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard, I hereby place you under arrest for arson, kidnapping, scamming restaurants AND an asylum, massive robbery of the Equestrian First National Bank, fraternizing with wanted Equestrian criminals, and usury.
  • Zesty: Please understand, sir, I was doing this to save my home!
  • Rarity: All you had to do was ask help from US! Yes, we don't have any fondness for you, but we're not "assholes" as one with a crude mindset would say. We would've GLADLY offered a few bits to save your manor.
  • Kindheart: But instead, you had to blow up my workplace AND ruin Celestia knows how many historical findings in the BIGGEST museum in Equestria, JUST TO AVOID ARREST!
  • Lord Shen: And you should know DAMN well that the Princess doesn't take kindly to those who terrorize her home. ESPECIALLY when it's around the ONE time where I can spend quality time with her in the Nightmare Night Festival. So from the looks of it, you are in SERIOUS trouble.
  • Zesty: "I DID THIS MORE THEN JUST FOR ME, YOU IDIOTIC LOUTS?! I DID IT SO HAPPY CAN HAVE A HOME!? NO THANKS TO YOU CRETINS, SHE'LL LOSE HER REAL HOME WHILE BEING PLACED UNDER THE CARE OF A LESS UNDERSTANDING HOUSEHOLD!? I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S PATEHENT WITH HER ILLNESS!?"
  • Starlight: ".... I, can't exactly say that's entirely false. Ponies are usually extremely worried about having a child with Magic-Asbergers. Though not as bad as she said, there are cases where even the best of intentions end up being mistranslated as being cruel and nearly risked an exploudtion."
  • Zesty: "SO NOW YOU SEE WHY THE RESTAURENTS HAVE TO GO?!"
  • Spike: "Ya know, ya could've asked for Celestia's help INSTEAD OF THOSE THREE!?"
  • Shining Armor: "Sorry to say, Ms. Gourmand, that impersonation of a princess is INCREDIBLY illegal, so- (Candence smacks him upside the head) OW!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BACK AT HOME WATCHING OVER THE BABY!!!"
  • Cadance: Well, I WAS, until the baby started flying off wanting to fight again.
  • Shining: Well, if she wants to do that, even though she's too young for that, then why hasn't she-
  • ???: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! (Flurry Heart ends up crashing in the middle of them in a red Kung Fu headband and belt)
  • Zesty:... HOW IN THE WORLD?!?!? ARE ALICORN BABIES ABLE TO BE THIS SMART?!? AND SWEET CELESTIA, YOU TWO ARE IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS FOR LETTING HIM SEE VIOLENT CARTOONS!
  • Cadance: Well, first, since an Alicorn baby hasn't been seen since Celestia and Luna, knowledge of what Alicorns are like as children was long-forgotten and beyond any Alicorn's understanding, so, it's as surprising to me as it would be to anyone else. Second, if by violent cartoons, you mean 'watching the Lodgers and their allies fight off evil and automatically learning them to defend herself every once in a while', then I wouldn't exactly say it was OUR fault.
  • Icky: Yeah, I mean, COME ON, since Equestria is attacked by one threat to the next, it's just IMPOSSIBLE for her to NOT get an influence like that. I mean, she's a FAN of us.
  • McScam: Well, I for one do NOT wanna be embarrassed Baby Geniuses style. RUN FOR YA' LIFE LIKE YOU'VE BEEN STARIN' AT THE COLD BLANK STARE OF A LIVING PONY STATUE!!!
  • Pinkie: (With "YOU PINKIE PROMISED!!!" Face and same demonic voice) HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY SISTER, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF CHEER-MURDERING CAKE MADE OUT OF SPOILED MILK!!! I OUGHTTA TIE YOU UP, PUT AN APPLE IN YOUR MOUTH, TAKE OFF ON MY PARTY-ROCKET TO AN EARTH-BASED WORLD, AND FORCE YOU TO EAT EVERY SINGLE WAY THE HUMANS PREPARE HORSE MEAT AS FOOD AROUND THE WORLD!!! (Takes deep breaths as everyone was shocked at her reaction)...
  • Sam: Remember, kids, be careful what you say in front of children, and ESPECIALLY by what you see in television. (Flurry Heart does a karate yell and starts beating the group in impressive Dragon Ball Z-based fighting styles for 30 seconds)
  • Max:... Plus, you MIGHT wanna keep the kids AWAY from the television. It rots their brains in more ways than one. (As Flurry Heart continues to fight them, after 10 seconds...)
  • ???: STOOOOOOOOOOP!!! (Happy appeared)
  • Patrick: Oh, there you are, we were going to arrest you for impersonating Cadance.
  • Squidward: Patrick, you're NOT helping!
  • Happy: "No, he's right. You have to right to arrest me and more, cause, not only did I helped my mother in this, but...... I teleported the Tri-Fecta out of Equestia. But before you all get too mad..... Know that everything she said about ending my life, was just to scare you guys from going after her."
  • Icky: "...... What else is new kid?"
  • Happy: "You knew?"
  • Algor: "Alchourse. Hynopa is not known to be even close to being that violent unless prevoked bad enough. Her words are just sheildings against villains who either want her controled by them or worse. So, you won't be too punished for aiding in their escaped."
  • Candence: "But know that it, along with encouraging your mother's bad behavior, relucent as it is, will still garrentie you a stay in Black Staillian Asylum, along with framing me of bailing out three still troubled ponies."
  • Happy: "I know, and I won't ask for lenancy, but, at least spare my mother from any great punishment..... Hynopa gave me my father's uncovered map to the Victorian Canterlot Treasure. It was accsidently uncovered by one of the Tri-Fecta members."
  • Shining: "THE LOST VICTORIAN CANTERLOT TREASURE!? IT'S REAL!?"
  • Happy: "I hope that, not only it'll pay for the damages mother's friends has caused, but, it'll allow her to still keep Gourmand manor. Please, I don't expect anyone to forgive her, but, at least spare her from ending up just being added to Svengallop's inner circle."
  • Dr. Eureka: "Well I can't say he's not gonna really do that, let's be honest here, I-"
  • Happy: "(Restores Dr. Eureka back to his true cowerdly state, as she admitly panics and flinches again), Just so we don't forget anything. So please..... My mother being spared, in exchange for part of the Victorian Canterlot treasure."
  • Carmila: "Well ordenarly, if it be up to me, I wouldn't be quick to accept pre-mature bails, but then again, this world's not my juristiction."
  • Candence: "..... Look, Happy, it's a wonderful once in a lifetime offer, but, it's not our call. Celestia will have to be the one who makes the final call."
  • ???: "Then it's a good thing I arrived."
  • Celestia with some guards holding all the backside canterlot gangs in cuffs are seen.
  • Luna arrived as well.
  • Luna: "We came here expecting a fight, but we see that everything's still in working order."
  • Happy: "...... Princess Celestia, I won't really expect you to accept this, but please, in return for my mother to remain unharmed, in reputation and in health, I'll give enough of the lost Victorian Canterlot treasure to repair all damages. I-"
  • Celestia: "It's a promising offer, but you don't need to pay for my kindness. Everything lost in the museum will be repaired by our magical historians, Mike Roe personally will see to it that the money will return to the bank, and, I made sure two certain "Insurence Agents" made good on their promises awhile back, so, expect Butt-Kisser and Boot-Licker, (Giggles), To, be a bit late. I will, however, make sure the Victorian Canterlot Treasure will return to our ecomamy as the finally paid payment for Gourmand manor. I'll happly pardon you and Zesty from any serious charages, under ONE condition."
  • Happy: "Name it."
  • Celestia: "..... Miss Zesty needs to finally let her husband's legacy go and go back to enjoy foods again."
  • Zesty: "WHAT!? THAT'S A FATE WORSE THEN DEATH!? I CANNOT REPLACE THE DELIACIES MY HUSBAND MADE WITH OTHER RECIPES!? EVEN SOMETHING THAT BARELY COMES CLOSE CAN NEVER REPLACE HIS COOKING!?"
  • Saffron: "If it helps, miss Zesty, your husband is the shorce of why I love cooking, so half of my restaurent's cooking is because of him! I own all 500 of his cook books!"
  • Pinkie: "YOU TOO!? ME AND THE CAKES HAVE ALL OF HIS BOOKS, EVEN THE RARE SPEICAL EDITIONS!?"
  • Saffron: "GET OUT! CAN YOU SHARE THOSE WITH ME SOMETIME!?"
  • Pinkie: "I WOULD BE INSULTED NOT TO!"
  • Zesty: "No pony can TRUELY replicate his recipes?! A close second maybe, BUT NEVER FULLY?!"
  • Coriander: "Oh is that a fact, eh? (Other Restaurent Owners came in) Well all of Restaurent Row are going to prove you VERY wrong! AM I RIGHT!?"
  • Other Restuarent Owners: "YEAH!?"
  • Saffron: So, by terms, you MAY have to give your reviews the RIGHT way. You see, Zesty, not all recipes are the same. Your husband was a great cook, but there are others that CAN be better than him. And I'm not trying to say that as an insult, I'm just saying that your husband was a great new era to cooking in Canterlot cuisine. But if you make restaurants have the same cuisine, then nopony in Canterlot can get the chance to grow their business and bring greater variety of tastes and not only be as good as your husband, but maybe even better. And in time, who knows? You may even find one just LIKE your husband, and maybe even get another chance for a family. And HOPEFULLY, this little scamp won't turn you into another domino effect on the cuisine society. (McScam chuckled nervously)
  • Zesty: I can't say I do not agree with you there, but I'm sorry to say that it will be a HARD thing to let my husband's legacy go. I don't know what choice to make here.
  • Pinkie: Zesty, your husband is a GOD of cuisine, and we will ALWAYS honor him, so it's no big deal if you stop trying to honor him the way you did before. There are OTHER ways to do it. In fact, what you SHOULD'VE done is prove that there can be successors to him, that way you'll be honoring his legacy. And Saffron is right, you MIGHT find a great chef just like him and have another family. You need to lighten up and let ponies have their chance to take their spotlight in cooking. So, if you REALLY want to honor him, just acknowledge what he would want from you, and that would MOST CERTAINLY be to give these new restaurants a chance. If you don't FIND a chef just like him, then just give it time. You'll find one eventually.
  • Happy:... Please, mother? Father would WANT you to do this.
  • Zesty: (Hesitantly looks at everyone)... (Takes deep breath)... Well... I suppose it's now or never. Very well, I shall give Restaurant Row another chance, and rate them as well as an honorable critic would, all for my husband, AND to avoid being another unfortunate member of the Asylum AND to avoid my daughter being treated badly by the prisoners there and avoid an untimely accident.
  • Celestia: Trust me, Ms. Gourmand, you shall NOT be disappointed.
  • Zesty: "But be fairly warned that, the taste of food not proper canterlotian dinner foods, now feels too forgen to me now. It's like my body forgotten to enjoy anything other then-"
  • Pinkie: "Icky Yucky Gross Blandness?"
  • Zesty: "..... Well that's just YOUR way to discribing it."
  • Pinkie: "I figured as much, so we're gonna have call for extreme measure.... CHEESY, EXTREME MEASURES!"
  • Icky: "Cheesy? The heck are you trying to get at, Pinks?"
  • Cheese Sandwich: (Bounced right in like an accordion) MONTAGE TIME!!
  • Zesty: WHAT THE-

(This song played as a montage was seen of the heroes trying to teach Zesty to relearn how to properly appreciate food)

Eat_It_-_Weird_Al_Yankovic_(with_lyrics)

Eat It - Weird Al Yankovic (with lyrics)

  • Happy: "..... I did NOT saw that coming."
  • Pinkie: Well, hopefully, it'll give her the proper knowledge to be a REAL food critic. In fact, I think her loss MIGHT'VE played in her losing her edge in the first place.
  • Zesty:... I... Actually never thought that would be the case.
  • Rarity:... I must ask, Ms. Gourmand, how did it come to this? I mean, I heard that McScam was behind it, but what does that entail?
  • Zesty:... (Sighs)... Well, I guess I owe you the answers anyway since I feel you gave me my edge back. You see, we were both in the same cooking school, and he was one of the best in the class. As for me, I was more interested in the same boring cuisine that you hate me for in the first place. But when Tasty saw how pathetic and bland I was in my progress, and they were considering kicking me out. So Tasty was the one to step up and offer me a chance to be his assistant cook and friend. So, with his help, I stepped up in my studies. I had never been so happy and grateful in a stallion for helping me lost my hopes. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough as I wasn't able to get enough qualification to get into the cooking world. For a while, the both of us were separated. While he would be the great cook everypony heralds, I would be a food critic. But I didn't start out doing it how you knew me to do it. I was a GREAT critic who enjoyed a TON of cuisine and taste variety. And when we both finally reunited, I was so happy, and we got married and had Happy on the spot. Unfortunately, then came the day Tasty wished to step up his taste factor. He intended to make a gumbo that magically altered its taste to match that of which is the favorite of it's consumer. However, he relied on McScam and his men to fix his favorite and traditional oven, Ol' Reliable, and since it was in bad shape with age, it caused an accident that ended with his unfortunate demise. Since then, I've lost all hope in my career, and went STRAIGHT back to preferring the cuisine that reduced me to the food reviews in the first place, as I thought that nopony could POSSIBLY match what Tasty was capable of.
  • SpongeBob:... Ouch.
  • Lord Shen:... That's... A rather heavy loss. I'm dreadfully sorry.
  • Icky: Sorry enough that you won't use her and her associates' gastrointestinal tracts as condoms while fornicating their skulls daily after eviscerating them while m**********g to Cele-
  • Lord Shen: FINISH THAT SENTENCE, AND I'LL SHOVE MY BLADE UP YOUR *YAAAY* AND TURN YOU INTO A POPSICLE FOR SHARPTOOTH TO ENJOY!!!
  • Cadance:... You both DO realize that Flurry Heart is still present, right? (The two realized)
  • Lord Shen/Icky:... WHY YOU LITTLE- (The two started beating each other up in a dust cloud)
  • Zesty:... I'd ask what the birds were all about, but... I REALLY don't wanna know.
  • Cadance: Bottom line, it appears you'll be able to move on and continue your career the right way again. I've informed the Critics Union about your change, and your family will continue to live happily in your manor. Unfortunately... You MAY owe Mike Roe Manager an apology.
  • Zesty:... I don't like the sound of that.
  • McScam: "Hey now, whoa, tecnecally the bank robbery was more my doing, Zesty didn't asked me to pull that, I did it on my own, ok?"
  • Cadance: Is THAT right? (McScam realized his mistake)... Well, then, Zesty's off the hook, because now it's MCSCAM who owes Mike Roe, as well as THE CANTERLOT MUSEUM STAFF, an apology.
  • McScam:... Is it too late to say that Zesty told me to ruin the museum?
  • Cadance: Eh, it can be magically restored thanks to the Relic Reconstitution Spell that Sunburst was able to improve on since Flurry's Crystalling, so, yeah, it's not going to help.
  • Dirty Scoundrel: Oh, NICE GOING, JACKASS!! NOW WE HAVE TO FACE THAT GREAT MOUNTAIN'S WRATH!!
  • McScam: "...... I'm, sure he's not as bad as he sounds?"

Later...

  • Mike Roe: (He was seen comically beating the tar out of McScam and his men, Dirty, Big, and the Hooligans as they were screaming like girls and comical sounds were heard) LET ME TELL YOU HOOLIGANS SOMETHING! YOU EVER HEARD OF THE PONY WHO ACCIDENTALLY ATE A BOGGART WHEN IT SHAPESHIFTED INTO A VEGE-BURGER, AND IT GAVE HIM THE MOST UNPLEASANT CASE OF INDIGESTION IN HIS POOR LIFE?!? I'M GONNA DO THAT TO YOU IF YOU EVER TERRORIZE THIS BANK AGAIN!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF... (A strangling sound was heard) CLEAR?!?
  • McScam: (He was heard with squeaky gibberish)

Much later than that...

  • McScam, Dirty and Big, along with all of the Backside Canterlot gangs, are seen being dragged along side Svengallop, Wind Rider, and Dr. Eureka into a van-chariot that'll head to Black Staillian Asylum.
  • Skipper: "Well that's another issue of Equestria wrapped up in a nice little bow."
  • Celestia: And thank myself because we've STILL got time to prepare the Nightmare Night Festival.
  • Lord Shen: I couldn't have said it better. I've been waiting for this for a LONG time!
  • Luna: And I shall look forward to making this Festival count as the appointed host. After all, this holiday was dedicated to Nightmare Moon herself. I've even prepared an act that will quite literally BLOW your mind.
  • Boss Wolf: Oh, I sincerely DOUBT that!
  • Luna: (Scoffs softly)... You'll regret saying that, puppy-wuppy!
  • Boss Wolf: WILL YOU STOP TALKING TO ME AS IF I'M A PET DOG?!? GEEZ, YOU'VE GOT A PET POSSUM ALREADY, SO SAVE THAT TALK FOR THE ACTUAL PETS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
  • Celestia: Alright, alright, everyone settle down. Let's just make the most of what time we have left to prepare this festival. Trust me, once you see it for what it is, it will be all worth it.

Nightmare Night in Canterlot

  • Fluttershy: (As twilight appeared in Equestria, the streets of Canterlot were elegantly-decorated with elaborate Nightmare Night decorations and trick-or-treating fillies and colts were seen all over the place wearing costumes)...(She was seen in her Flutterbat Costume)... Rainbow Dash, are you SURE this costume is necessary?
  • Rainbow Dash: Of course. You don't wanna be scared, so with THIS costume, following the MASS fear of Flutterbat herself going around, nobody would DARE think of disturbing you. I mean, I know scaring isn't really your thing since what happened last year, but at least it's not at the same degree as how you did it to us. It'll only be kept at legitimate fun.
  • Applejack: So just stick close and you'll be okay.
  • Fluttershy:... Okay, I guess that helps. But... I wouldn't exactly feel right scaring children. It'd be just as bad as scaring you guys.
  • Rainbow Dash: Actually, it's NOT that at all. Like with Luna, it's all just pretend and for laughs. They're not legitimately scared, they're just having fun. That's what Nightmare Night is all about. It may not be for you, but you can't just spend EVERY Nightmare Night under your bed. There could be much BETTER goodies for you than just candy, like what Luna has for you at the festival.
  • Fluttershy:... It's not scary, is it?
  • Twilight: It's a surprise that's only fit for you. No scares, no pranks, no scary-themed animals, just a calm setting that could give you a greater appreciation to do something else on Nightmare Night. After this, you can go back to the safety of your bed and we'll enjoy our OWN preferences to Nightmare Night.
  • Fluttershy:... I guess that helps.
  • Helping Hooves: And Luna was nice enough to arrange a few things for US too. Each of them will be of our interests. I bet I'll be greeted with LOADS of ADORABLE fillies and colts in CUTE Nightmare Night costumes, and I'll get to tell them stories.
  • Applejack: Well, Celestia said that many of these surprises for us will fit us like it did in the Gala.
  • Sincere: So where's the Lodge? They said they'd be dropping by to spend Nightmare Night with us.
  • Rainbow Dash: Hell, I heard that there's a live broadcasting of Silver Quill's review of Scare Master. And best of all, it's got Baron Tall-Tales in it. I've LOVED him since the Nightmare Night 2014 video.
  • Twilight: Oddly enough, he was based off of a REAL guy similar to him in the past. But nopony's ever seen him for dozens of moons.
  • Rainbow Dash: Well, I'll drop by and watch that review, and I've even asked Fluttershy to join me before her surprise since, you know, they'll be PRAISING her as the star of the episode itself. She'll feel good about being the most loved character in the brony fandom, and I get to enjoy another appearance of a comical creeper.
  • Lightning Dust: "GUYS! LUNA'S ACT IS STARTING!?"

(It went something like this)

The_Moon_Rises

The Moon Rises

  • Boss Wolf: (They were there as he was shocked beyond belief, and fainted)
  • Icky: Pfft, come on, BW, Luna's just wearing a magic disguise that LOOKS like her former self. What, were you scared that she was gonna-
  • Luna: YOU ALL SHUNNED THE NIGHT! THAT'S WHY I HAVE RETURNED TO ENSURE THAT I AM FOREVER PRAISED AS YOUR NEW RULER!!! (Cackles as lightning struck and her magical hair spun around the area)
  • Icky: (Wilhelm screams and faints)
  • Lord Shen: Hmm, pretty impressive. But I'm sure she can do better.
  • Icky: "IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME?!"
  • Lord Shen: "Pfft! As miserably cowerdly as usual."
  • Luna: AND I'LL DESTROY EVERYTHING MY PRECIOUS SISTER LOVES TO ENSURE THAT NOBODY STOPS ME, EVEN THOSE WHO LOVE HER!!!... That means YOU, peacock! (Cackles)
  • Lord Shen: (A splattering sound was heard on the floor beneath his tail-feathers as he Tom screams and faints)
  • Icky: Pfft! As miserably cowardly as usual, eh? (Chuckles)
  • Lord Shen: "..... Oh, SHUT UP!?"

Epilogue.

Dragon Temple

  • Icky: (Comes in) Ahh, I need a stretcher after all THAT craziness. Espeically after the aybismal mess that is The 7th Issue of Shell Louge Comic Tales. Hey, even The Cover SUCKED!? So yeah, the september delay was NOT kind to his A-Game on the comics. But hey, I kinda thought it was cool to dress like one of the stooges. But NOT one of our better preformices and the worse test for a recuring villain. Hopefully a future edition will come around and- (Opens the door to his room, only to find what looks like Sharptooth as he roared in his face as he had this reaction, combined with him falling straight down the stairs until he takes his medication)
Heart_attack

Heart attack

  • Icky: (He was stunned silent and went back up to find that the Sharptooth was just Boss Wolf in a Sharptooth costume)
  • Boss Wolf: (Laughs hard) Happy Halloween, Icktard! (Laughs)
  • Icky: (Shrugs angrily) I take it this is payback for what happened yestarday?

Cutaway

  • Boss Wolf: (In an incredibly intimidating dog-zombie costume as Icky came out, barking)
  • Icky: OH MY GOD, ZOMBIE DOG!!! (Karate-kicks Boss Wolf down the stairs as he screams falling down them as censored beeps were heard until he hit the ground)
  • Boss Wolf: AAHHH!!! I THINK A TOOTH CAME OUT AND PENETRATED MY WEENS!!! OH, GOD, I HOPE I DIDN'T JUST GET NEUTERED!!! AAOOOWWCCHHH!!
  • Icky: Oh, crap! SORRY, B.W.!

Present

  • Boss Wolf: Yeah, you got it. I ALMOST lost one of my balls that time after they surgically removed the tooth you knocked out.
  • Icky: (Sighs) Look, I just got up after a late-night Halloween dance party with Gilda that time. I didn't need a freaking wolf dressed as a Resident Evil Zombie Dog to show up at my door.
  • Boss Wolf: Yeah, to be fair, playing the blame game was unnecessary for that incident. But hey, at least I got payback.
  • Icky: Oh, sure, it's no problem. Hey, I just saw this funny video yesterday. You gotta check it out. (Shows his iPhone screen to him as it plays a video)
  • Boss Wolf: Oh, I'd certainly enjoy a good laugh. Let's see what- (This video played as Boss Wolf had the same reaction)...
Nostalgia_Critic_-_"YOU_CANNOT_BEAT_US!"

Nostalgia Critic - "YOU CANNOT BEAT US!"

  • Icky: (Laughs hysterically)
  • Lord Shen: Boss Wolf, what is going on in he-...OH, GOOD LORD, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!- (Another splat was heard) DAAAHHH!! (Censored beeps were heard)
  • Icky:...Oh, s***.

Later...

  • Lord Shen: YOU TWO HAVE DISGUSTED ME TODAY!!! BOTH FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY!!! BOSS WOLF FOR BLASTING S*** ALL OVER THE BATHROOM, WHICH WILL TAKE A WHOLE WEEK TO CLEAN UP, AND ICKY FOR CAUSING IT!!!
  • Icky: Hey, give me some credit, Shen! If I was to push that joke THAT far, I would've shown him one of those dog-human hybrid hoax pictures- (Boss Wolf ended up vomit-bombing the entire room)
  • Boss Wolf: DO NOT EVER MENTION THAT!!! IT WAS SO DISTURBING BECAUSE IT SUGGESTED A ZOOPHILIC HUMAN WHO LOVES HIS DOG TO DISTURBING LEVELS!!! I... (Vomit-bombs the entire room 3 more times)
  • Lord Shen:... (Sighs)... Here's hoping that Thanksgiving won't be so chaotic..... Cause I already know that the presidential election is gonna be a mess no matter who wins it, am I right?
  • Loud boasting laughter is heard!
  • Lord Shen: "THANK YOU, YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE, AND GOOD NIGHT!?"
Updated_Looney_Tunes_Outro

Updated Looney Tunes Outro

Fin.

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